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Hello! For those that don't know me, I'm Sasha (31F) and I have severe Tourette Syndrome. Although it's a disability, and can very much be a struggle to live with, I love using it to make people laugh. I have what's called Coprolalia, which is the obscene and socially inappropriate verbal tics 5-10% with TS have, as well as Copropraxia, obscene hand gestures. Just to give you a quick run down to make this thread make sense. I'm not REALLY an asshole, this doesn't mean I don't have a filter. These aren't my thoughts coming out of my mouth, all it takes is hearing or reading something once, and it's in your subconscious, whether you want it to be or not. When you have Coprolalia, your brain scans your surroundings, digs through your subconscious, and then sends an electrical signal to the part of the subconscious which holds the worst possible thing to say for that setting, and that's what makes you involuntarily yell. (A very simplified version) So take the phrase, "I have a bomb!" The chance of me yelling that in an open field, by myself where no one will hear, is practically zero. Now the chance of me yelling that while going through airport security is 100% I have never managed to get through an airport without yelling "I have a bomb!" and "I have drugs up my ass" Because your brain is constantly scanning the area, seeing all the "no explosives, no drug" signs, subconsciously aware of 9/11 etc. etc. It's a bit scary at the time, but I'm able to laugh about it after. This is something I often share for laughs IRL, but since I spend way too much time on here,(occasionally I post in the fiction section) I thought I'd share a few stories with you all. A few years ago I got stuck in a DUI checkpoint. The first things out of my mouth should have been "I have TS." I'm so used to ticcing and yelling bizarre things, it's just my normal, that I often forget it's not normal for other people. So anyway, the officer motioned for me to roll down my window, and I did. Then they asked for my license, etc. Everything was going fine until the moment they asked if I had any illegal substances on me or in my vehicle. There are cops all over the place in this intersection, and I end up yelling, "I HAVE DRUGS UP MY ASS!" I could see cops everywhere just stop and turn. I'm just like oh crap, and open my mouth to explain no, I don't have drugs, and what comes out is, "IT'S A GUN!" Officers are starting to walk over. I'm sweating bullets, I'm shaking my head, and trying to explain but everytime I open my mouth something worse comes out. I end up yelling "THERE'S A DEAD HOOKER IN MY TRUNK". They're all just staring at me. I finally manage to hand over a DRS note I keep in my car specifically for this. The officer starts laughing and sends me on my way, I'm very eager to get out of there, and I start driving off before I roll up my window, and as I drive past the line of officers I start making oinking noises 0.0 Last year My grandma died, my very religious white grandmother who was a bit on the racist side. We have her service outside at the grave site. Her ashes are upfront in an urn. I was really nervous and didn't want to go because I knew my tics were going to be disruptive, but my family kept saying, "we all know you and understand, don't worry about it, come anyway, it's just going to be family." so I do. ... It was not "just family" All of my grandma's church friends and out of state relatives were there. None of which knew I had TS. ..oh boy, The things that were coming out of my mouth should never be yelled at a religious woman's funeral...or anyone's funeral for that matter. I kept yelling, "GRANDMA, GET BACK IN THE JAR!" "LET'S DO LINES OF GRANDMA" "MY GRANDMA CHOKED TO DEATH ON A BIG BLACK DICK" ... and... oyy ... "I COULD BE AT HOME MASTURBATING RIGHT NOW..." My grandma's church friends are absolutely horrified, and my family is trying so hard (unsuccessfully) not to laugh. Apparently I put the "fun" in "funeral" Ok so this last one is pretty personal, but what the hell. This is the story of my very first pap. 0.0 So I have Kaiser as my health insurance, and for those unfamiliar with it, all the drs. and everyone share information, it's all connected. So I everytime I see a new dr. I don't have to explain my previous health conditions, it's all right there in my file. The down side of everyone seeing your information, is no matter what kind of dr. you go to, you can't escape any kind of preventative care. They will just keep nagging you and nagging you until you cave. So when I went in to see my therapist, I came out with a ob/gyn appointment. So for whatever reason I got sent to an out of network ob/gyn, which meant they did not previously know about my condition. I did not realize this at the time. I go in, everything's going fine, ...until the breast exam... She's doing her thing, and suddenly my hands shoot out, latch on to hers, push them down even harder and in the worst possible Irish accent you've ever heard, yell "FEEL ME TITTIES" I'm mortified. She's staring at me in shock. I apologize and the test moves on. Feet in Stirrups wishing I was anywhere else in the world. Cue worst possible verbal tics. Sexual moaning. LOUD sexual moaning, followed by "FUCK ME, DADDY". She's just glaring at me this whole time and I can't figure out why. She finishes, I sit up and then the little light in my head finally clicks. "You know I have Tourette, right?" I asked. She stares at me blankly for what feels like a full minute and says, "I do now." Please enjoy my unfortunate moments, and the next time you lie awake at night cringing from your past, you can rest assured you didn't tell a cop you had drugs up your ass