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Chapter 1: I listened to Candy Says...a Velvet Underground song. The lyrics spilling past, clean, and through my mind... ”I’ve come to hate my body”. I stared at myself in the mirror. Naked after a shower. Water dripping. My hair a mess. Tangled past my shoulders. My phone had a message from my ‘Daddy’...I sometimes wondered if I thought of my girlfriend like that, because dad fucked off so many years ago. is my good girl feeling better? I didn’t know what to say. Is “HELL NO” too rude? Probably, be safe. I’m fine, just sad. It was the truth. A reply. shit...want me to come over??? Yeah. i’m on my way It had been a shit week. Got bullied by my boss, so I worked five unpaid hours this week. My mum isn’t talking to me...after I accidentally forgot her birthday. And my brother is off ‘discovering himself’ again, is another foreign country, doing his ‘gig economy freelance work’. He’s never going to grow up. And I’m me. I own a one bedroom apartment, that’s a ten minute train ride to the city. My name is Claire Doors, and I’ve been an out lesbian for two years. This is a journal of sorts, my sister, Jennifer, thinks I should keep one. She’s also another story. I have a collection of vinyl records, a draw of video games, a small kitchen and a bathroom that doubles as a laundry. Currently I’ve been playing a lot of old 70s music. Also, Helter Skelter is a great song. My Daddy thinks so too. She thinks we both like it because we’re damaged. She thinks way too much about these things. I think it’s just a song. I look for some clothes, I like to look decent for her. Some jeans and an old black shirt and I’m presentable. Within minutes my hair is brushed. I’m just above passable. I look in the fridge for leftovers. Some beef paddies and some bread. I’m going to make some nice burgers before she comes. I’m not much of a cook, but I’m a few levels above toast with cheese, so already I’m better than my girlfriend. By the time I hear a knock on the door, the sink has been filled with a pan, and the table in front on the TV has been set. I get the door. She’s there, in a beautiful dress. Her makeup always looks neat and perfect. She’s gorgeous, if you didn’t know. And I think I’ve just worked out why it is that I love her. “That smells great.” I hold out my arms, and we hug. “Anything for you.” “Don’t you meany anything for your Dad?” I roll my eyes. “Shut it.” She smirks, and I just feel oddly small all of a sudden, shrugging, I pull away. She can close the door if she’s going to act like a big dick. She takes my hand, and I lead her to the TV. I’ve got that same song playing. The looks in her eyes tell me everything. “No wonder you’re depressed. I’d be too, listening to that song.” I resisted the urge to shrug again. “Whatever, you hungry?” ”Yeah.” I looked at the clock, it was nine at night, I felt so tired already. She turned on the TV, and we watched a bad movie. Repo Man. I’d seen it before. She cleaned up afterwards, and we made out a little. Before we went to bed, I was too tired for anything else. But as we slept, I couldn’t help bringing her finger to my mouth, so I could suck on her knuckle. I know it’s weird, but she lets me. I’m not a kinky person, but I sleep better that way. I know she slips her finger away after a few minutes, but that’s enough for me to get drowsy. So I can pass out. I can’t wait until tomorrow; because it’ll be Saturday. All hail the weekend!