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# Preface This is a completely shameless self-insert story. I used to write stories for other ABDLs in a setting called "The Adult Baby Research Institute". ABys would find my stories on Tumblr, and if they were smart/brave, they would message me and I would make them fill out an "intake survey". After that there would be an in depth interview and I would craft them a very pervy story. The setting was a fictional asylum / kinky medical facility staffed by caring sadists. Unfortunately all the content was lost during the great tumblr purge. It was a lot of fun. But now I've decided it's my turn for a stay at this fictional asylum. This is an intense story with dark themes of intense masochism. It's all about turning everything to 11 and getting too much of good and bad things. This deals with themes of heavy duty ABDL, infantilism, sissification, gender fuckery, sadism/masochism, torture, medical fetishism, dental fetishism, force feeding, messing and more. This story is not written for everyone, and I don't blame you if you want to nope out. Any time a chapter deals with an edgy theme in detail it will be called out at the start so you know what you're about to get into. This is a hard story. If you're looking for a feel-good story, you may want to skip this one. There will be some feel good moments, but they'll be interspersed with sessions of deep sadistic torture, painful humiliation, and extreme sissification and babification. This is a sissy story. I'm keenly aware of the link to that as a fetish and misogyny. While I'm hoping that the gender fuckery is deep, I'm also trying to ensure that it isn't deeply misogynistic. I'm not perfect, so if you feel I missed the mark somewhere I'd love to hear about it and understand if you're willing to share your thoughts. # Day 1 Saturday ## Chapter 1 I sat nervously in the back seat in the middle of the van. I was enveloped by the pink PVC padded seat while a 5 point harness pinned me down. Even sitting down in the seat, my pink frilly and lacy dress wasn't covering my thick disposable diaper. It didn't help that my legs were spread wide with a spreader bar attached to the pink patent leather ankle restraints that matched my Mary Jane flats. My matching wrist restraints were clipped to the side of the car seat, not that I could do much with my hands since they were trapped in pink fingerless mittens. I was sucking on a big pink pacifier gag, it's straps circling my head. "I'd like a cheeseburger happy meal with yoghurt, apple slices and an apple juice... and a McChicken meal with coke and fries." That was Cloudy, my wife, my caregiver and the love of my life. I was pretty sure she was getting the McChicken, coke and fries from the drive through. Yuck. Sounds like the rest of that was for me. I hated process cheese... and yoghurt... and apples! "That's $19.59, 2nd window please!" "Mmmmmm ... McDonalds! Your favourite!" Cloudy smiled, knowing that while it was a guilty pleasure, it most certainly wasn't my favourite. "I wonder if the McDonalds worker will see you? Will they recognize you?" I was so mortified as we drove up to the pickup window. Luckily the worker wasn't in my eye-line but how much did they see of me? Cloudy continued, "They told me to make sure to bring a snack, because they aren't sure how long we're going to need to wait in the waiting room." The rest of the drive was uneventful as we went across town, then just outside of city limits up to a nondescript building. There was a smattering of cars parked here and there but it was otherwise a quiet summer afternoon. Cloudy parked the van in the back of the lot and cortisol flooded my system. I was going to have to cross this parking lot dressed up like a baby girl. She turned off the ignition, turned around in her seat and saw the look of dread on my face. "It's okay sweety. No one will know you're really a boy under there!" She smiled, and then unbuckled her seatbelt and got out. "Ok, lets get you out of there." Cloudy sighed as she opened the van door, unclipped my restrains from the seat, and unfastened the unnaturally tight restraint belt. "Get your dolly and your sippy cup!" I struggled to grab the sippy cup and doll with my mittened hands. Cloudy made a show of impatience before tucking the dolly under my arms and grabbing the sippy cup herself. She attached a leash to my leather reins, before grabbing our meals and a large pink diaper bag. She stuffed the sippy cup in a side pocket of the diaper bag, shut the door and started walking to the front door, dragging me behind her. With my ankles still attached to the spreader bar I was struggling to keep up to her brisk pace. We finally got to the door and Cloudy held the door open for me while I walked through into a tiny vestibule. On the other side was a thick windowless door with a heavy handle. Cloudy went to an intercom unit off to the side and pressed a button. "Hello, we're here for our appointment?" Cloudy said tentatively into the unit. "Name?" "Becky, it's for 1:15" "Perfect, come right in." Said the woman on the other side of the intercom. The door buzzed, and Cloudy hefted the heavy door open. "In you go sweety!" Cloudy gestured, and I waddled through into the brightly lit room not knowing what to expect. "You must be Becky" giggled a woman behind the desk, her coworker let out a wry smile. Both of them were dressed in colourful nurses scrubs. "You and your mommy can wait over there." The woman behind the desk gestured at the small waiting area with some chairs. Cloudy took me over and sat me down on a low chair next to a table full of baby toys. Cloudy sat down beside me on a comfortable adult chair and pulled out the food. She filled my sippy cup full of apple juice and passed it over to me. With my hands in the gloves it was hard to get and I dropped my dolly on the floor. Just then the door buzzed, and a tall distinguished gentleman with silver hair and a short silver beard walked through. "Hello Sir" both of the ladies behind the desk called out. "Good afternoon!" He replied in a singsong voice. He turned over to me and smiled. "Whoops, it looks like you dropped your dolly little one." he smiled. I was petrified. He scooped the doll up, winked at me and put my dolly in a toy high chair on the table. "There. That's the perfect place for him isn't it?" He winked again, before looking up at Cloudy and offering his hand for an introduction. My dolly certainly didn't look like a 'him'. "It's a pleasure to see you again my dear. Thank you for agreeing to do this for us." The Director said to Cloudy. "You're welcome." She smiled. "I'll see you both once everything is ready." he said with a grin and away he went, behind the desk and down a long hallway humming to himself. Cloudy unwrapped the cheeseburger and set it down on the table, following up with the bag full of apple slices and the squeeze tube of yogurt. I wrinkled my nose. None of that looked appetizing, and I wasn't sure how I was going to eat it with these mittens on my hand—much less the pacifier gag in my mouth. I just idly busied my self with the bead maze and busy board. "Eat your lunch Becky, it's getting cold." I looked back at Cloudy with a look of "just how exactly?" "I see fussy eating is one of the treatments listed for Becky" one of the ladies behind the desk said. "We can start treatment on that right away. It will be good for her to get some food in her belly before we go over the full treatment plan." She came over, pulling some thick metal clips out of the pocket of her scrubs. She deftly attached them to my restraints and then restrained my hands and ankles to the chair. She gripped my chin in her hand. "Your mommy and I are going to fix you your food, we'll be right back. Don't be scared sweety, okay?" I looked up and nodded. What did Cloudy get me into? "Hi Cloudy, my name is Christine, and I'll be one of Beckys primary nurse caretakers." She offered her hand to Cloudy. "Shall we get this little ones food ready?" "Sure, okay" Christine scooped up the meal and put it back into the bag—even the sippy cup full of apple juice. The two of them walked down the same hallway. I could hear their conversation slowly drift as they walked away. "Her obedience is also on the treatment plan." "Well, it's not like he could eat with that pacifier in his mouth..." "That doesn't really matter, she barely even tried! A good baby slave would have found a way to at least gotten some yoghurt down. She just stared at her meal." Christine retorted with a smile in her voice. "I noticed that you use he/him pronouns, but she is very clearly dressed like a girl. " "Yeah, I have a hard time thinking of him ... i mean... her.. i mean... " "It's alright. What are they comfortable with?" "I'm really not sure, he says he wants to be referred to as he/him, but sometimes I wonder. And when he is dressed like this, I know he would rather be she." "Well, the good news is that as part of the gender treatment plan we will be exploring that and will help you get to the bottom of it." "Oh..." Cloudy trailed off "Don't worry, you're an integral part of the treatment plan as well." I strained to hear the conversation. It sounded like they had gone to another room, and there was the sounds of banging. Like some kind of equipment was being set up. "What's involved in that treatment?" Just then there was a high pitched whirring sound from the room where Cloudy and Christine were. I could hear them both speaking, but couldn't make out the words. Finally it stopped. "There, we'll pour that in there. And now the burger." Again there was the whirring sound. I knew what was going on. My food was getting blended together and I was going to be eating that cheeseburger whether I wanted to or not. It stopped and I could hear their voices again. "Eeeww gross!" "Hmmm, too far you think? You're the boss, for now. But if she was my charge—and she will be soon—this would all be mixed together. Yoghurt, burger, apples and all. And I would make sure that it was thinned out with formula too!" I shuddered in a combination of anticipation and fear. At the time I didn't realize how often that feeling would hold over the course of my stay. "The selection of formulas we have available...Wow! Everyone here at the institute have tried them, and some are easier to choke down than others." I could hear them coming back, the sound of wheels on the linoleum floor trailing with them. Christine was pulling along an IV stand with her, a pair of large bags hanging from them. An unappetizing brownish grey mixture in one, and a slightly pinkish one in the other. "If you wouldn't mind taking off the pacifier gag we'll get this proper feeding gag in place and someone can have all their lunch they so rudely refused to eat!" Cloudy walked behind me, unbuckling the strap to my pacifier gag. Meanwhile Christine was putting on a pink silicone bib that said "Messy sissy" in big bold letters. Cloudy pulled the pacifier out and strands of drool spilled out into the bib and before I could even take a full breath, the thick feeding gag was stuck in my mouth and buckled in place. "Now, burger first, and then your apple yoghurt desert." Christine said, as she lowered the IV stand, letting me have a good look at the greyish brown bag. I could see little flecks of orange process cheese. "Cloudy told me just how much you love cheese, so I made sure to add some extra." I did love cheese, but I hated the taste of process cheese. Couldn't stand it. Christine released the clamp on the bag, and I watched as the sludge slowly crawled down the tube, little orange cheese flecks and all. "This might be the best meal you will have all week, so enjoy it!" All week? I thought to myself. The smell of it hit before the taste. The burger was blended with apple juice. The sweet of the process cheese and apple juice contrasting with the bun and the meat. The blob of ketchup, mustard, pickle and onions were just a faint whisper in this sludge. It finally entered my mouth and it tasted worse than it smelled. The first blob that hit my tongue clearly had large chunks of pickle and cheese mixed in with the meat. The texture was thick and chunky. I couldn't help it and immediately retched. Christine again gripped my chin. "Try me. Anything that comes up is going to go right back down again." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and tried to ignore all the flavours and textures and suck it down. It was tough, and I almost lost it 5 or 6 times. Finally the last of it was done. And this was going to be the best meal? "Good for you sweety! Now it's time for your dessert!" The tube was swapped and the slurry of yoghurt, apple juice and purée apple slices made its way to my mouth. I had a hard time deciding which was worse. On the one hand apple juice cheeseburger surprise was pretty nasty, but I hated yoghurt. "Your mommy told me all about how much you LOVE yoghurt, so we're going to make sure that it's part of every meal during your stay with us." I shuddered. Finally Christine took a syringe out of her pocket—without the needle—and pulled out a small bottle of medicine. She uncapped it, put the syringe in and filled it up 2/3rds full of a thick, yellow, cloudy, oily substance. The tube was pulled from my feeding gag and hung up on the IV stand and replaced with the syringe. The smell and taste of caster oil was unmistakeable. She pushed my head back so that I could savour all 60 CCs of every drop. I was going to be in bad shape in a couple of hours. "Alright. I think we're about ready to start working on your treatment plan." Christine said, while the other nurse was pushing over the largest and kinkiest stroller/wheelchair I have ever seen.

Prologue: The unpleasant and cold wind was blowing through the countryside and leaned to the windows, shabby walls and roofs. The wind driven heavy raindrops kept hitting the windows . It was a gloomy November morning. An old building was hidden in a forest and few people knew about it. A barrier blocked the entrance road and the label next to the barrier discouraged eventual visitors from an attempt to enter the area. If a visitor had the courage and ignored that warning, they would find a high fence with an iron gate, cameras above the gate and the former monastery behind the fence. There was no label on the gate. A card reader and video intercom near the gate were the only ways to get inside or ask for it. The monastery looked abandoned from outside but the security measures didn’t match that image. Most of the windows were grated and all doors were either locked or bricked up. There was another surprise hidden behind the main entrance. The shabby outside look would change into a modern and well equipped mental clinic. However, that clinic was quite different from all other ones. It was the final destination of those who entered it as patients. To be exact; the clients were no patients and they didn’t suffer from any mental disease. The only reason to commit someone to the clinic was an effort to get rid of them for whatever reason. The clinic was private and the fees for keeping a person there were quite high. Despite the high taxes the clinic was profitable and the working conditions of the staff were better than in every other similar mental clinic. There were comfortable rooms for every staff member in the private wing; an everyday commute to work was uncomfortable for most of them and they also were a partially closed community. Unlike the staff, the clients didn’t live in comfortable conditions. They were restrained almost 24 hours a day, diapered and sometimes tormented by the staff. They could spend several hours watching TV or talking together in the common rooms but it was conditioned by good behavior. Otherwise they were strapped down to their beds. The awards for good behavior were rare but the punishments were quite often. The mildest ones were tickling or diuretics. More serious punishments were laxatives, spanking or an isolation room. However the clients were afraid of the ghost chambers in the basement. The basement was a mysterious place and it was full of unknown entities. They looked like translucent black clouds and some people stated they had seen faces with red glaring eyes on those clouds. The entities appeared in different places but there were three rooms in the basement far corner where they appeared regularly and often. The corner probably was near a portal they passed from underground. Those three rooms were called ghost chambers. Nobody knew exactly what happened in the chambers but a night spent there turned the victim into a wreck without their own will. The staff used to show those victims to other clients to warn them. On rare occasions the entities appeared outside the basement. Fortunately the only consequence was fright; however both clients and staff were afraid of those events but nobody found a way to avoid them. Our visitor probably would turn on their heel and run away from that terrible place; it didn’t have an official name but people called it Clinic of Oblivion.