ordinaryab

Good morning all. I signed up today just to share with you today what I think about punishments because it is a subject that I know very well and on which I have meditated for years. I don't want to develop friendships with anyone or get into debates, I don't have time for that. But be free to speak up and say what you think. My thinking is constantly changing and evolving. My only goal in writing this to give people ideas about punishment in Cg/AB roleplaying, nothing more. This is a topic that may seem simple and straightforward, but it is actually quite the opposite, because a punishment can miss the point. Yes it is possible to make mistakes by giving a punishment. To begin, you have to differentiate between punishments and funishments. Funishments are punishments that are so light that they become pleasant, funny and exciting to receive. They are most often given, and desired, for an erotic purpose. But funishments are not punishments. The purpose of punishment is not to be pleasant, but to deter a person from having a certain behavior or engaging in certain situations so that they do not happen again. This is the first question to ask yourself: by punishing, do I encourage or discourage good or bad behavior? The sole purpose of punishment is to discourage bad behavior. If you want to encourage good behavior then we talk about rewards and the rewards should in no way look like punishments because you will mix things up in your AB's head. Today I will only talk about punishments. Now, how do you make punishments effective? What makes a punishment accomplish its purpose of deterring bad behavior? Well, a punishment has to be appropriate for the fault committed, without exaggeration, and it has to be given for the right reason, at the right time and in the right way. We will explore all these points now. First, a punishment that is appropriate is a punishment that is as severe as the fault is serious. So a small fault equals a small punishment, and a serious mistake equals a severe punishment. If your punishment is not severe enough then the bad behavior is likely to continue, and if the punishment is too severe your little one may view it as unfairness and it may affect their trust in the care taker. One thing you should absolutely avoid is punishing with anger. To punish is not to take revenge. To punish is to educate. If you do it with anger the only thing it will do is undermine the relationship between you and your little one. We all have our own unique code of honor that makes certain things more important to us than others. Many of you have probably even decided to write rules for your little one. While this is a very good thing, neither should all the rules be written down. It is normal to have unwritten rules because the caretaker has to improvise and adjust to the situation. At least make sure that the rules that are written down are the rules that are of utmost importance. Accordingly, if a written rule is broken it is normal for the punishment to be more severe than if it is an unwritten rule. Second, now you might find it weird, but just because your little one did something wrong doesn't mean he has to be punished. How is it possible? Well you have to look at the context of things. Maybe your little one didn't quite understand the rules. If you haven't been clear enough with him, it's your mistake. If you've given him a ton of rules, normal that he can't learn them all at once, you have to be more patient and work with him to get him to learn them. Your little one may not be feeling very well, he may be sick. Maybe the situation meant that your little one had no choice but to break the rules. Is it a mistake with mitigating circumstances, a mistake made without bad intention, a mistake made by negligence, or a mistake made on purpose? If your little one is cranky or cheeky because he's tired, he doesn't need to be punished, he needs to take a nap. If it’s a real bad behavior then you will punish him. Third, punishment at the right is a punishment that is given as soon as the bad behavior is noticed. Not a minute later, or after the TV show, after dinner, or after whatever. No the punishment must be given immediately. You stop what you are doing, stop your little one from doing what they are doing and start the process of punishment. On the other hand, if you are in public you must immediately inform him of his bad behavior and that he will be punished when he returns home. There isn't a whole lot of ways to punish effectively. First, the offense must be noted. You stop what you were doing. You stop your little one in what he is doing. You point out to him what he did wrong, or even better you ask him to tell you what he did wrong, further proof that he knew the rule. Then you have to tell him what his punishment will be and you have to stick to what you tell him. Then you do what you said, nothing more, nothing less. After the punishment, you need to go back to what he did wrong and discuss it with him to see if he understood. Finally you comfort him. Regarding the type of punishment, it should not always be corporal punishment. Spanking shouldn't be your first solution. You can try, if it matches the age of your little one, to put him in the corners, to make him write and repeat sentences, to make him take a disciplinary nap. If that doesn't work, you will move on to corporal punishment next time. You can even add corporal punishment to a punishment I just mentioned if the offense is more severe or repeated. Among the effective corporal punishments I see only two, passing a bar of soap in the mouth of the little one when it concerns inappropriate language, or spanking. Regarding the spanking, it must be given directly on the buttocks and not elsewhere. Never hit the face or any other fragile part as this can really hurt and bruise the flesh. Finally, if even physical punishments don't work enough, go to the next step, which is to take away privileges from your little one: no more TV, no more video games, earlier bedtime, all of his food mashed, spoon fed. You take away is privileges away until you feel he is willing to play by the rules. I'm tired so that's all for today.