TheUnknownAuthor

Thank you. I mean, I still feel like the story is doing exactly what I want it to, but I get that no one else knows what I know, doesn't mean it's bad, it just means you haven't gotten to the prestige yet, y'know?

Sorry you feel that way. I knew I was going to lose people with such a drastic shift, but my hope was that the mystery would entice rather than disappoint. Meh, maybe I'll win ya back, but no hard feelings if I don't.

So, a little explanation, spoiler free obvi, nothing is without purpose and I have a very clear idea of what I want to do and where I want to go. Am I gaslighting the reader with this story? Maybe, but I'd like to believe that I'm providing an insanely high cliff for you to take a leap of faith off of and trust that there's a safe landing at the bottom. For the record, I've done zero to earn that kind of trust, but it's an intriguing prospect, right? Thank you for reading and for saying this is "written brilliantly", I was prepared for hate and you went the opposite direction, so thank you! Glad to hear it! That edge might get a little thinner the deeper we go, but I'm glad you're enjoying the ride!

Chapter Eighteen Ducky And Rochelle’s Excellent Adventure “I’m not even a little sleepy, are you?” Ducky asked her bed mate as she cuddled the smaller and younger girl to her. Rochelle shook her head. “Why are they making us go to bed so early when they know we slept in the car?” she asked, shifting her position to face her older bed mate. Ducky smirked. “They’re having sex.” she said, her tone implying the very mention of the act was naughty for her to do. Rochelle giggled. “I know that, silly!” she said. “I meant, why don’t they let us go have fun instead of putting us to bed.” she clarified. “Because we’re babies.” Ducky responded. “I know, but not all the time.” Rochelle insisted. Ducky rolled over and reached out to turn on the light, squinting in the newly brightened room to look at Rochelle who had her arm up to shield her eyes. “We could play a game.” she offered. “What kinda game?” Rochelle asked, sitting up with a crinkle to match Ducky’s as she crossed her legs facing the older girl. Ducky thought for a moment, “Truth!” she exclaimed. “I think you’re s’posed to ask me if I want to tell a truth or do a dare.” Rochelle explained. Ducky shook her head. “No, because dares just end up leading to sex or breaking the rules.” she said. “If we stick to truth we won’t do anything naughty to get spanked for.” she explained. Rochelle gave her an odd look. “Have you only ever played truth or dare to have sex or break the rules?”she asked. Ducky shook her head. “No, but that’s what always happens.” she said. “Mommy and I got into some real-” she stopped herself and smiled at Rochelle, “Never mind!” she chirped, saving the memories for her own personal use. “Do I ask you a question or do you just tell me a truth?” Rochelle asked, allowing Ducky to keep her originally planned statement a secret. Ducky shrugged. “Whatever you want, you’re the littlest so you decide!” she said with a warm smile. Rochelle returned her smile and began to think of how she wanted to play, deciding that “it’s more fun if we come up with our own thing to say because then the other person has no idea what’s coming”. Ducky nodded. “Kay.” she said. “My truth is that I’m really nervous about meeting Daddy’s family.” she said. Rochelle nodded. “I didn’t want to say it in the car, but his story about his mom saying I was lazy because I’m black really hurt and I’m worried that the rest of his family is going to be that way.” she explained. Ducky leaned forward and hugged the smaller girl. “Daddy won’t let anyone be mean to us.” she said. “Neither will Mommy.” she added. “But we can stick together and keep each other safe since we’re both people of color.” she explained. Rochelle nodded and hugged Ducky back. “I know they’ll protect us, but I’ve felt how painful those kinds of thoughts are when someone says them to your face and a funeral isn’t somewhere I want to have to deal with that.” she explained. They parted and Ducky nodded. “We’re on the same page.” she said, the pair sharing a smile of equal experience, strong but hiding the real pain thinking about things like that caused. “My truth is that I’m really happy to be a part of this family.” Rochelle said. Ducky nodded. “I’m glad you are too!” she said, the pair giggling. “How did you and Mommy meet, anyway?” she asked. Rochelle smiled. “Grocery store.” she said. “I was trying to get a box of cereal from one of the higher shelves and she appeared behind me and grabbed it for me and said ‘here you go, sweetie’ and then blushed when she saw that I wasn’t a little kid. Ducky giggled. “She’s so cute when she blushes, huh?” she asked. Rochelle nodded. “She apologized and then noticed the other stuff in my cart and she got this look on her face.” she explained. “Ooh, tell me what was in the cart and I’ll guess her look!” Ducky exclaimed, clapping her hands excitedly. Rochelle giggled. “Umm, wipes and powder, apple sauce, a pack of baby bottles and chocolate sauce.” she said. Ducky smirked and straightened up to do her impression of Petra, looking Rochelle up and down with a hungry glint in her eye like a tiger looking at an injured baby gazelle before both girls toppled backward on the bed in fits of giggles. “Oh my gosh, that’s exactly the look!” Rochelle exclaimed as she held her stomach and giggled wildly. Ducky giggled the same. “She pegged you as a little baby that was coming home with her.” she said breathlessly. “Did she take you to the parking lot and get you off?” she asked. Rochelle’s laughter slowed and she sat up shaking her head. “She was very polite and told me she was hosting a “little” get together at her house with some other “little” friends and invited me.” she explained, using air quotes where applicable. “Weren’t you scared she was a freak?” Ducky asked. Rochelle got quiet and shook her head. “I was in a really dark place and she was nice and clearly into the baby scene in some way and I was tired of being alone.” she confessed, her eyes tearing up. Ducky gasped and got to her knees to hug the smaller girl. “I’m sorry, Rochelle, I didn’t mean to make you cry!” she said, rubbing the girls back as she hugged her. “It’s okay, Ducky, I’m better now, it’s just hard to think about that time still.” Rochelle explained. Ducky kissed the top of the smaller girl’s head. “Still, I’m sorry I made you cry.” she said before letting go and returning to her spot. “My truth is that I’m thirsty!” she said trying to lighten the mood as she crawled off the bed and went to the small fridge Petra had put their bottles in, pulling out one apple juice one for herself. “Milk or juice?” she asked. “Juice, please!” Rochelle said politely, wiping her eyes. Bottles in hand, Ducky returned to the bed and pulled the caps from each bottle, handing Rochelle one and popping the nipple of the other into her mouth as she watched Rochelle topple backward to drink and hopped onto the bed to lay beside her, playing with the smaller girl’s feet with her own. “I like you, Ducky.” Rochelle said between pulls from her bottle. Ducky lolled her head to the side and smiled. “I like you too.” she said. Rochelle looked up at the ceiling and let one of her release the bottle to fall to her side, smiling when Ducky did the same and their hands found each other, the room silent save for the sound of suckling and swallowing mixed with little nose breathes. “My truth is that I think I want to kiss you.” Rochelle said after her bottle started to whistle from emptiness. Ducky finished the remainder of her own bottle and set it on her other side. “Like on the cheek?” she asked, knowing the answer before she asked it. Rochelle shook her head softly and set her own bottle aside before rolling over to face the older girl, her little hand moving up gently caress Ducky’s cheek. “On the lips.” she said softly. Ducky’s heart fluttered and she felt silly for it given her ample experience with kissing. “Why?” she asked. Rochelle shrugged. “You’re really pretty and funny and sweet.” she said. “I know you’re in love with Mommy, but maybe she’s not the only person that can make you happy.” she explained. Ducky reached up and caressed Rochelle’s cheek. “I think you’re really pretty too.” she said softly. “You’re also super cute and way sweeter than anyone in the whole world.” she added, feeling silly again for allowing her little side to speak in a serious and tender moment. Rochelle smiled. “May I kiss you?” she asked politely. Ducky nodded softly and closed her eyes as the distance between their faces closed and Rochelle’s lips connected with hers, their velvety softness making her toes wiggle happily. The kiss was brief but powerful and broke before their tongues entered the fray. “That was-” Ducky said softly, searching for an adequate word to describe what she was feeling. Rochelle was moving, sidling over to Ducky and positioning herself atop the larger woman, her little hands encircling Ducky’s wrists as she lightly pinned them to the bed. “Was it good?” she asked sweetly. Ducky nodded, marveling at how light Rochelle was now that she was atop her. “Very good.” she said softly. Rochelle smiled and lay down, her breasts pressing against Ducky’s as she went in for another kiss, her tongue slipping past both their lips to introduce itself to Ducky’s eliciting a soft moan from both of them. “I’ve never been very dominant.” Rochelle said as she parted her lips and tongue from Ducky’s. “But you’re somehow more submissive than me, aren’t you?” she asked with a playful giggle. Ducky looked up at the younger girl and nodded sheepishly, her cheeks reddening at the realization that the littlest little she’d ever met was seeing her as more submissive to her and she could merely nod in agreement. “Please kiss me again.” she requested, hoping to quell the feelings stirring within her with tender affection. Rochelle smiled and shook her head. “Not just yet.” she said as she released Ducky’s wrists to reach between Ducky’s stomach and her own legs to pop the snaps of her onesie and pull the garment off of her leaving herself naked save for her diaper. Ducky looked up at the smaller girl’s perfect little breasts, her dark nipples making her salivate in a strange Pavlovian response. Rochelle lowered herself once more, her hands back on Ducky’s wrists as she positioned her left breast just above Ducky’s mouth. “I can’t make milk like Mommy, but I’ll bet that won’t keep you from sucking my little titties, will it?” she asked seductively. Ducky felt the nipple brush against her lip as she shook her head in response to Rochelle’s question, wanting to take it into her mouth more than anything, but she knew what the game was and absolutely wanted to play along. “Are you waiting for permission like a good girl?” Rochelle asked. Ducky nodded softly. Rochelle smiled and raised herself once more, giggling at the little whimper of frustration and disappointment that came from Ducky. “Hush now, you’ll get your reward once you’ve earned it.” she explained as she turned herself around atop Ducky and lowered herself to pop the snaps of the girl’s own onesie, making sure her damp diapered crotch was close enough to Ducky’s face to keep the girl interested. Ducky sniffed softly, a pleasant shudder rolling through her body as she took in the beloved sent of arousal from within a wet diaper, something she’d been missing almost as much as Petra’s naked body in bed with her. “You’re still dry?” Rochelle asked, her little fingers lightly prodding the pristine shell of Ducky’s diaper. Anticipating the request she believed was coming, Ducky relaxed and began to wet her diaper, the liquid trickling sound of her flow filling the room. “Not anymore.” she said, trying to sound sexy. Rochelle smirked and traced a finger down the center of Ducky’s diaper, high from the power trip she was experiencing having Ducky pliant to her whims. “Would you like me to wet my diaper for you?” she asked without looking back at Ducky. Ducky nodded eagerly. “Yes please!” she exclaimed. Rochelle shimmied back to press her diaper to Ducky’s face, feeling the girl adjusting her mouth and nose to breathe as she released her bladder, delighting in the soft gasp and pleasured moan that came from the girl as the diaper swelled and warmed against her face. Ducky pressed her face into the warmth, blushing at the thought that a thin amount of padding and plastic was all that was separating Rochelle from pissing directly into her face. She felt herself bucking her hips in response to Rochelle’s delicate touch, wishing the girl would give her more attention to her throbbing sex. Finished peeing, Rochelle sat up and turned once more, looking down at Ducky with a smile and hunger in her eyes. “My truth is that I’m incredibly turned on by all of this.” she said softly. Ducky nodded. “Me too.” she croaked, looking up at her little Domme with her own hungry eyes. “Tell me your truth, Ducky.” Rochelle said. Ducky swallowed. “I need to be submissive to someone.” she blurted out after a long moment of hesitation. “I need someone to use me as their plaything and make me feel loved and safe afterward.” she explained. Rochelle shifted herself to pull Ducky’s onesie up and helped the girl to lift it up and off of her without using her hands which she obediently kept above her head as if she was still being pinned down. “What can someone do to you if you’re their plaything?” she asked, her little fingers walking up Ducky’s stomach to her breast to lightly stroke her nipple. “Anything.” Ducky answered without hesitation. Rochelle raised an eyebrow. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve let someone do to you?” she asked. Ducky flushed and bit her bottom lip as Rochelle played with her nipple. “It’s a long list.” she confessed. Rochelle lightly tweaked the girl’s nipple getting a gasp and a little whimper from her. “Try and narrow it down.” she coaxed. Ducky closed her eyes. “Petra took me on a date to a fancy restaurant, like where we were tonight fancy.” she said. “Cloth napkins and ties.” she added. “She and I got dressed up to celebrate her promotion at her job at the time and she,” Ducky’s breath caught in her throat at the memory, “she slipped her shoe off and started to rub me under the table with her pantyhose covered toe.” she explained. Rochelle smirked and let go of Ducky’s nipple. “Sounds sweet.” she said. Ducky shook her head. “Not done.” she said. “When I was just about to cum she sent me a text and pulled her foot away.” she explained. Rochelle pouted. “Such a mean thing to do.” she said. “What did she text?” she asked. “She told me that if I wanted to cum tonight I had to-” she whimpered, not wanting to finish the story. “Please, can’t we just-” she started to say before Rochelle was lowering herself to meet her lips once more, forcing her tongue into her mouth and letting her know that the story would be finished without saying any words. “She told me to go to the bathroom and shit my panties and come back out to the table crying and begging her to put me in a diaper.” she blurted out as soon as her lips were free from Rochelle’s. Rochelle looked sympathetic. “That’s incredibly fucked up.” she said. Ducky nodded softly as her cheeks burned with shame. “Did you do it?” Rochelle asked. Ducky nodded once more. “She took me out of the restaurant and verbally humiliated me next to the dumpsters out back and made me cum without even cleaning me up.” she explained. “Jesus.” Rochelle muttered. “Why’d you let her treat you like that?” she asked. Ducky shrugged softly. “My truth is that I don’t think I deserve better.” she answered. “I believe that Petra is the one person that’s ever truly loved me for who I am and that I’m obligated to obey her without hesitation.” she explained, the answer rolling from her as though she’d practiced it a hundred times. Rochelle climbed off of Ducky and stood beside the bed with her arms open. “C’mere.” she urged. Ducky rolled over and entered the smaller girl’s embrace, her own arms wrapping around her. “I’m going to show you that you’re worthy of affection without strings attached.” Rochelle said, pulling Ducky from her embrace to cup the girl’s chin in her hands so she was looking her in the eyes. “I’m going to show you that you can be happy and feel loved without having to debase yourself.” she said, kissing the older woman softly on the lips. “If you want to play submissive I respect that, but we can be intimate as equals.” she added. Tears welled up in Ducky’s eyes as she softly nodded. “Thank you.” she said quietly. Rochelle kissed her again. “Thank you for trusting me with your truths, Deandra.” she said. Ducky smiled and wiped her eyes. “Petra’s not an abusive person, she just-” she started but was cut off by another kiss. “I don’t want to talk about her anymore tonight, honey, tonight is about us.” Rochelle told her as she gently lay Ducky back and untaped and opened the girl’s diaper, casting it aside as she got to her knees and went to work showing Ducky what she could do for her. ******** A good deal of time later the pair lay together, their sweaty bodies entwined atop the sheets. They were looking at each other in the moonlight streaming in through the open curtains, dreamy smiles on each of their faces as they basked in the milky afterglow of their carnal escapades. “I think I might be gay for you.” Rochelle whispered, giggling softly. Ducky snorted as she giggled. “I think I might be gay for you too.” she said. “Do you think they’d be mad at us for doing this?” Rochelle asked, her little fingers running over Ducky’s lithe torso. Ducky nodded. “Petra would be so jealous.” she said. Rochelle scoffed. “She doesn’t own you.” she said. “Besides, she’s married.” she added. “I’m her get out of jail free card.” Ducky said. “I’m the one person she can have sex with without Zack having a problem.” she explained. Rochelle nodded. “Zack would probably be disappointed I wasn’t his innocent baby girl anymore.” she said. Ducky nodded. “He really does only see you that way.” she said. “For better or worse.” she added when she saw Rochelle’s face nodding absently. “I brought it on myself.” Rochelle said. “He’s a perfect Daddy and he brings out the littlest part of me without even trying.” she explained. “I really don’t want him to look at me differently.” she added a little sadly. Ducky leaned in and kissed the younger girl softly on the lips, tasting the remnants of her own juices still lingering there. “You’re his daughter, he’ll love you no matter what, trust me.” she said. “Maybe we should keep this a secret until we see an opportunity to break it to them?” Rochelle suggested. Ducky nodded and sighed. “I agree.” she said. Rochelle kissed her lightly and rolled away. “Where you going?” Ducky asked, propping her head up with her arm on the bed. “I have to pee and we need to shower and clean up the mess in here before we go to bed otherwise one of them is going to come in here to wake us up and know we were fucking all night.” Rochelle explained. “Not all night.” Ducky teased. Rochelle turned and put her hands on her hips, the stern stance would’ve intimidated Ducky were the woman doing it not so wretchedly adorable and petite and the ensuing giggling from the girl on the bed made the little woman fold her arms and pout, rocketing her adorableness into the stratosphere. “C’mere.” Ducky urged, parroting her lover’s earlier command as she gently patted the space beside her on the bed. Rochelle shook her head. “I told you, I hafta pee.” she whined softly. Ducky sighed and crawled to the end of the bed, climbing off of it to walk over to her little lover, taking the girl’s hand and leading her into the bathroom to sit her down on the toilet as she hugged the girl’s head to her naked stomach with one hand and lightly grazed the girl’s back with her fingernails. As the light tinkling sound of liquid hitting liquid filled the darkened bathroom, she lavished the girl with praises suitable for a first time toilet user as though they hadn’t just engaged in, arguably, the most adult thing two people could do together. When the flow stopped she stood the girl up and knelt in front of her, lapping her clean like a mother dog would do for her puppy, beaming with pride at the little whimpers and stifled moans that came from the other girl as she placed a hand on the counter to steady herself, and flushed the toilet for her when she felt she’d properly cleaned her before dragging her back to the bed, picking the girl up as though she were carrying her across the threshold on their wedding day and gently lowering her to the bed. “This is a bad idea.” Rochelle warned, her voice thick with passion once more. Ducky ignored her and climbed onto the bed, straddling the smaller girl, careful not to place her full weight on her stomach. “What if they wouldn’t be mad?” she asked. Rochelle cocked her head and narrowed her gaze. “How could they not be?” she asked. Ducky slid off the other girl and retook her position beside her. “I mean, if Petra is free of me romantically because you and I are together, wouldn’t that mean that her and Zack would spend even more time doing married people stuff?” she asked. Rochelle shrugged. “Maybe?” she said, her tone making it sound more like a question than a statement, “But I don’t think on the trip to his mom’s funeral is the place we want to find out.” she pointed out. Ducky nodded softly and sighed. “I’m just not ready for this to be over yet.” she whined. Rochelle reached out her hand and lightly traced her index finger around Ducky’s eye. “My Mommy before Petra told me that this is how you make babies sleepy.” she said, a pang of sadness in her voice at the memory of her deceased Mommy. Ducky smiled and reached out her own hand to trace a finger around Rochelle’s eye. “Babies aren’t allowed to do what we did.” she said softly. Rochelle smiled and nodded. “We’ll figure something out.” she said before a yawn overtook her. Ducky pulled her hand back and gently took Rochelle’s hand in hers, holding it between them as she yawned herself. “We need to get up, Ducky.” Rochelle said. Ducky nodded and leaned in to kiss the smaller girl, the kiss leading to light touches which led to heavier, more deliberate touches which led to the pair falling asleep, exhausted and spent from a night of deeply satisfying passion. To Be Continued…

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, there's no real easy way of saying this because I know it will possibly keep people from reading further, but I don't want anyone to be surprised and triggered either. The next two chapters are going to be rough and they're going to deal with some heavy subject matter. My hope is that I deal with it in a way that it's clearly vital to the story, but if I fail and it feels like it ruined things then I guess I ruined things. Because I don't want to spoil anything ahead of time, I'll be vague and just say that the elements in these next two chapters are very serious and dark and could be a trigger for people that have dealt with them in their own lives. Proceed at your own risk, and if you are someone that is or has dealt with some of the things in these chapters I wish you all the luck in getting help for what you're dealing with and I hope you have a strong support structure in your life to make it manageable for you. Thank you for your time. X “Meanwhile” The din of the crowd was the most nerve racking part of all. I knew, whether I wanted to admit it or not, that no one was paying any attention to us, that eyes may have landed on us but quickly flitted away like a fly unable to stay in one spot for long. People didn’t tend to see things like what we were doing outside of the morbid curiosity and the initial shock and disbelief of it. Heck, most people would feel embarrassed for us before they thought anything perverse was going on. The mall is, or used to be when I was growing up, a place of community. Stores were a dime a dozen, ditto with restaurants, but a physical place where one could live if they were so inclined, a place where every conceivable need was met was beyond rare in this world, and a place that existed like that that you could enjoy with friends and loved ones as well as total strangers on the same level regardless of race, creed, gender, socioeconomic standing, that was a magical thing entirely. We’d chosen the mall because of the crowd, Christmas shoppers jammed into a place hustling and bustling to get the things their loved one’s wanted were too preoccupied to really notice us, people taking a break from shopping to enjoy the figurative meats of our cultural stew at the food court were more likely to take notice but entirely unlikely to stop eating to approach us, and the parents at the Santa’s Village display were too busy with their snot nosed brats to pay any attention to anyone let alone individuals pretending to be part of their ilk. “You’re sure you’re up for this?” was the question that was asked the most in the hours leading up to the outing, in the car in the parking lot outside the mall, out front of the mall, and finally inside but still near the exit, and the answer was always the same, a decisive, shaky breathed, wobbly legged, moments from wetting myself from nervousness, nod of my head that barely convinced me but absolutely sent mixed messages to them. “We don’t have to do this right now, you just got out of the hospital.” was the out given to me, handed on a silver platter and gift wrapped for my taking, but still I soldiered on, anxiety climbing with every hand led step. Eyes were on me, I felt the warmth of their gaze raising my internal temperature as we crossed the entry way border into the mall proper. The sillier part of me imagined those passing us on their way out were pulling phones from pockets and purses to contact the authorities and national news media, images of helicopters circling above the mall waiting for us to come out with our hands up to be detained, identities scrubbed from record, fingerprints burned off to live out our days in a dark hole our government had found suitable for people like us to spend the remainder of our sick, sad lives. “Are you hungry?” was the next question I had to shake my head at, wishing I could find my voice and be more open about my thoughts and feelings as nameless and faceless strangers ebbed and flowed around us like a tide coming in and out of a secluded pool that only saw invaders when said tide brought them. Just beyond the entryway of the mall was an enormous planter, tiled walls two feet high surrounding the enclosure that held an honest to goodness tree. Fed by the skylights above and the mister sprinklers below, the tree served as a reminder to all partaking of the mall’s offered services that the outside world existed but you needn’t stop shopping to see it, quite brilliant of the mall’s owners if I’m being honest. Extending from the tile wall were tiled slabs that served as benches for people to sit and enjoy the piped in bird songs and smell the Earth in the planter, a place to take a breath and recover from the dense crush of bodies milling around. It was on one of these slabs that I was seated, not of my own volition, but at his insistence. The damp squishy feeling beneath my pants reminded me further that I was not in control here, despite his questions and offers that would give me the idea of control. He knelt down in front of me, his hands on my knees, a concerned look in his eyes and a sympathetic smile on his face. His crooked little smile always made me want to smile, but his eyes in this moment made me uneasy and not at all like smiling, they made me feel broken and pitiful and it wasn’t like he was doing it maliciously, he was just triggering something I’d been struggling with. “Hey.” he said simply. “This is too much.” he said, reaching up to brush an errant strand of hair from my face. “Right?” he asked. It’s normal to be unintentionally inconsiderate when dealing with someone’s new or newish handicap, so I wasn’t mad at him, but being asked questions and knowing that you can’t answer because your jaw is wired shut, and knowing that they know you can’t answer because your jaw is wired shut is absolutely maddening. I shook my head. He sighed. “Listen, I know you’re pushing yourself and I admire you for it, but-” he stopped and looked around, lowering his voice to a delicate whisper, “Are you wet?” he asked. And there it was, the confirmation of all my fears realized, I was wet and it was apparent. Granted, he knew my situation and was, in his mind at least, my caregiver, so it wasn’t a bad thing that he recognized the state of my undergarments, but the indignity of being asked when, given the ability, I would’ve vocalized a need for a change was deeply upsetting to me and, as I did more often than not these days, I began to cry. He hugged me and rubbed my back, and then he was moving and then I was being picked up and then I was watching a woman looking up from her book on a nearby tiled slab looking at me and I felt like her gaze was somehow connected to a hive mind and that all eyes were suddenly locked onto the broken woman with the wet diaper being carried out of the mall because she was ill equipped to exist in society any longer. I buried my face in his shoulder and sobbed, wishing things could be different for me, that I could go back and change things. The automatic doors parted and allowed us back into the warm air of the outside, the air conditioned mall and its judgmental inhabitants locked behind the glass and metal doors never to bother me again. I was set back down on my feet and he was stroking my hair and kissing my forehead. “You’re warm.” he diagnosed. I nodded. That crooked smile formed. “How about we get you home and changed and you can have a nice nap?” he asked. I didn’t want a nap, naps meant sleep and sleep meant dreams and dreams were a thing of the past for me, all I had was nightmares now, but his hand was enveloping mine without waiting for me to obediently agree to his prescribed nap and I wasn’t in any position to resist. “We can try again another day.” he said with a condescending squeeze of my hand that I’m sure he believed was reassuring. I looked down at the ground as he led me back to the car, blobs of petrified gum, stains of spilled drinks or bladders moving along as we did. The ground was my world now, the only place I was free now, free from judgment or sympathy, free from the constant reminders that the life I’d had before was a distant memory and that my status quo was more akin to that of an infant than of a woman in her twenties. Going home meant a dry diaper and a nap, not with him in his bedroom of course, that was a place I was only allowed to be for sporadic moments now, usually when he was getting something he needed and had me in his arms. I vaguely recalled being in that room as a woman, him on top of me, our clothes discarded in a heap beside the bed, his kisses on my neck and body designed for passion rather than the innocuous boo boo removal one’s I received now. I remember him being inside me physically then rather than inside my mind repeating the things he made sure I knew now. I vaguely recalled feeling happy and satisfied as his warmth encircled mine beneath the covers and we slept together without concern for leaked diapers in the night full of awful dreams. Everything was duller now, both in a physical sense and in a more existential way. He wanted me to be happy, at least he reassured me that he did, but despite his best efforts I wasn’t and I didn’t know how to pretend that I was. Sure, I couldn’t fake the giggles that came when he tickled my tummy while he changed my diaper or bathed me anymore than I could fake the smiles that came when he was silly and pretended to steal my nose and eat it, but those things were superficial, more to make him okay with the state of everything than to make me feel any better. The time where I’d be something closer to normal was coming and I was both looking forward to and terrified of it in equal measure. “Normal” meant being able to speak for myself, which meant attempting to reestablish my adulthood in how I was treated by him, but it also meant being punished for arguing with him. “Normal” meant hope for independence, but also meant being remanded to the confines of the crib he’d built for me, the straps I hated securing my wrists and ankles to keep me from “hurting myself”. “Normal” meant being allowed to visit her grave without his supervision, hearing the story he chose to tell her rather than the one I needed to tell myself. “Your chariot awaits, dear.” he said in a faux British accent as he opened the back door of the car and bowed like a stagecoach footman to a princess or foreign dignitary. I looked at him and then into the car, my wetness getting wetter and a denser substance invading the backside of my diaper and I shook my head. He looked at me pityingly and put his hands on my shoulders to gently turn me around before I felt the back of my pants and diaper being pulled away from my body. Tears welled up in my eyes once more as he gently rubbed my back once he’d released my pants from his grip. “Poor baby.” he cooed softly in that tone he used to remind me that I was nothing more than a helpless infant in his eyes. “Do you not want to get in the car because you’re stinky?” he asked. I shook my head softly and wiped my eyes. He turned me back around and hugged me, one hand traveling down to the lump in my seat to pat it softly, his way of reminding me how far I’d fallen and how much I needed him. “Should Daddy change the baby before we go home?” he asked. I wanted to jam my knee in his, I’m sure, hard dick and run for the safety of the busy mall interior, to find someone to help me escape him once and for all, but I was broken and unable to speak for myself and he’d catch me and take me back and I’d be punished and forced to endure more reminders of my true role in the world. He pulled me from him and kissed my forehead. “I think you’ll be alright until we get home.” he said, guiding me down into the car, his crooked smile appearing at my wince as the mess squished beneath me when my bottom hit the seat. He knelt down and reached into the car for the end of the seatbelt, bringing it across my body to click it into place before kissing my cheek. I looked up at him with watery eyes as he stood back up, the disparity in our height serving as a proper metaphor for our roles now, him, the adult in charge and me, the baby, something he’d always wanted for us and now had completely and without opposition. I reached for the purple and teal unicorn beside me and brought it up to my chest to hug it as I cried, her smell wafting up from it, cutting through the stench emanating from me and bringing me relief. He shut the door and got into the driver’s seat, looking back at me in the little mirror attached to the windshield. “You wanna stop and visit her on the way home?” he asked. I shook my head. I hated that he insisted on perverting her memory for me, changing the sequence of events to fit his narrative, making me feel more guilty than I needed to or already did as he spilled his lies over the stone that marked her final resting place. “You sure, Katiebug?” he asked, using the “nickname” he’d bestowed upon me, the one I now viewed as my slave name, the one he’d given me when all of this had first started a lifetime ago. “I’m sure Lina would love to see you.” he said, his words a dagger to my heart, twisting to devastate my already fragile emotional state. I shook my head and cuddled the cherished plush, closing my eyes to see her smiling face as she played innocently, prancing the toy around on the blanket he’d set up for her in the living room while he held me on his lap and poured his venom into my ears to poison my mind and keep me, us, under his thumb indefinitely if he could manage it. I was silent, but my mind was running through the words I wanted to scream at him, most were colorful variations of four letter one’s that would earn me a spanking if he even suspected I was thinking them, but “murderer” and “monster” were also acceptable, at this point I’d love to be able to look him in the eyes and call him by his given name, the one he’d ground out of my vocabulary in our time together, the satisfaction of seeing his surprise and rage when I stopped being his broken baby doll and just said, “Fuck you, Tim.” before I spat in his face and waited for him to lose control and send me off to be reunited with Lina. To Be Continued…

Nice save. Whatever your motives, your efforts are appreciated.

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As gracefully and eloquently as this dog, I'm sure. Also, thanks for the shout out, you always want as big an audience as possible for when you crash and burn, like this dog. Sincerely though, thanks for the support, I cannot wait to disappoint you greatly!

Same. "It was all a dream" is probably the laziest plot device next to "beige Betty kid is actually the chosen one/prophecized savior. I'm a hack, but I have standards.

Chapter Seventeen Pains, Stains, and Audible Squeals “I said I was sorry.” Petra said, her arms folded across her chest and a heavy pout on her face. I sighed. “One thing, Pet, I requested one simple thing from you.” I told her. “What was that one thing?” I asked. She sighed in exasperation. “Not to leak on the seat.” she said in that snotty teenager tone that she knows I hate. I pushed my anger aside. “And what did you do?” I asked. “It’s not my fault you peed a fucking gallon into my diaper!” she argued. I took a deep breath and let it out through my nose. “One, knock the F bombs off with me, okay?” I said, giving her a stern look. “Two, you know as well as I do that pee takes a little time to settle in a diaper, but you just had to get off immediately, didn’t you?” I asked. “I’m sorry, but having you pee in my diaper was ridonk hot!” she shouted. “What’s going on?” Rochelle asked sleepily. “Nothing, sweetie, Mommy and Daddy are just talking.” I told her, looking back at her in the rearview mirror with a reassuring smile. “Baby, we’re having a fight, but it’s okay.” Petra said, turning around in her seat. “Can you be a good girl and put your headphones on for Mommy?” she asked. Rochelle nodded and got her headphones out of the little pouch on the back of Petra’s seat and slipped them on over her ears. “You too, Deandra.” Petra said as she turned around to face front once more. Ducky stopped pretending to sleep and did as ordered without a word. “Look, a little remorse is all I’m looking for.” I said, picking up where we’d left off. “And I already said I was sorry, what more do you want?” Petra groaned. “An apology with about ninety percent less attitude would be great.” I told her. She turned in her seat and made her eyes as big as possible, clasping her hands together in a pleading way. “Please, Daddy, please forgive me for being a big, dumb, horny baby that can’t help but touch herself when you do sexy things to her!” she begged. “Pet, if I didn’t love you so goddamned much I’d pull this car over and blister your ass on the side of the road.” I grumbled. She scoffed. “What was wrong with that apology?!” she exclaimed, slumping back in her seat with her arms folded petulantly again. “I said I was sorry, I admitted to being a big, dumb, horny baby with terrible impulse control, fuck, man!” she said, the last part mumbled beneath her breath. I flicked the turn signal and slowed down while pulling over to the shoulder, finding a larger area that got us well clear of the road and came to a stop, turning to look at her to let her know how serious this situation was. “Okay, look, I’m sorry, please just get-” she started to say before I stopped her. “Y’know, I’ve been wracking my brain trying to remember the last conversation I had with my mom.” I said, turning my gaze from Petra to look out the windshield as cars zipped past us. “I think I’ve got it, but I’ve been searching for literally any other thing that could take its place and I’ve got nothing.” I explained with a heavy, weary sigh. “I’m not okay, Pet.” I said, swallowing the hard lump in my throat to ease the dull ache as my vision began to blur with tears. “I’ve been doing my level fucking best to keep being Daddy, and therapist, and the only goddamned adult in this family while also continuing to be the thing that holds all of this together but,” I sighed again, “I’m just not okay.” I finally managed to say before I began to sob. Petra put her hand on my shoulder and gripped it reassuringly before she scooted closer and hugged me tightly as I cried. “I didn’t, I mean, I thought maybe-” she trailed off. I sniffed back the snot creeping from my nose. “Yeah, dad raised me to be pretty quiet about serious emotions and I know it’s wrong and doesn’t help anything, but conditioning is a motherfucker.” I said. She nodded softly as she rested her head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry about the seat.” she said. “And for being a brat.” she added. “And for swearing so much.” she added again. I curled my arm toward me to cup her chin and cheek in my hand. “Apology accepted.” I told her. “I love you, Pet, and the last thing I want to do on this trip is fight with you, I’ve got enough fighting to look forward to at the funeral, I’m sure.” I explained. “I just, I need a break from being in charge of everyone and everything for like a day.” I said. She turned her head upward and kissed my cheek. “If I promise to make sure everyone is on their best behavior until we stop for the night will you let me help you tonight?” she asked softly. “You realize everyone is you, right?” I asked. “Those two have been absolute angels this entire drive.” I added. She nodded. “Fine, if I promise to be on my best behavior will you let me help you tonight?” she asked. I sighed and wiped my eyes and sniffled again before nodding. “Okay.” I said wearily as I put my turn signal on and waited for an opening before getting back on the road. ******** “What was the last conversation you had with your mom?” Petra asked shortly after we passed the sign indicating we were a few dozen miles from where we were stopping for the night. Rochelle and Ducky were coloring quietly in the backseat but tuned into the conversation as discretely as possible. “It was about Rochelle.” I said, looking back at the little girl as she colored and sucked her pacifier. “I’d called to tell her that we’d adopted her and sent a picture ahead of the call, one of her playing on the floor with you.” I explained. Petra smiled. “The one where she has the little bucket on her head?” she asked. I nodded. “It’s one of my favorite pictures of the two of you together.” I said. “Anyway, I thought she’d be ecstatic, an adorable granddaughter to dote on and spoil.” I explained. “But?” she asked. I gave Petra a hesitant look, looking back at Rochelle. “It’s okay, Daddy, I can handle it.” Rochelle said without looking up from her coloring. I sighed. “She questioned everything, asking if I was having an affair with Rochelle, accusing Rochelle of using us, and-” I looked back at Rochelle once more, “she said something about Rochelle being lazy because she’s Black.” I said. Petra looked stunned, her mouth agape. “Are you serious?!” she asked. I nodded. “She and my dad come from a different time and they say ignorant shit like that sometimes and I just dismiss it and move on, but it made me so incredibly angry that I laid into her for it and told her-” I stopped, feeling the stab of guilt and remorse hit me again, “I told her that if we never saw each other again it would be fine by me.” I finally said. The car was silent for a long time as the weight of what I’d shared hung heavy in the air. “My mom was, is like that.” Ducky said softly, correcting her tense. “I mean, she married my dad and had me, but she still has these weird fears and thoughts about Black people that she lets slip and then acts all surprised when it hurts me.” she said. Rochelle looked up from her coloring and pulled her pacifier from her mouth. “It didn’t make her a bad person.” she said. “You’re right, she comes from a different time and that definitely doesn’t excuse it, but she loved you and was worried about a really big life choice you made and unfortunately she made it about race when it didn’t need to be.” she said. “She knew you loved her, and I’m sure that somewhere in her she knew that having the thoughts she had was wrong, but love and worry make us do dumb stuff.” she explained. “I just hated that she could look at you and think you were anything more than a sweet and adorable girl.” I told her. Rochelle shrugged. “You’re biased.” she said. “You love me, unconditionally and without question, she never met me, never saw us interact together, never got a chance to see what you see.” she explained. “I’d chalk this whole thing up to old White people syndrome and forgive her and yourself for what happened.” she added before popping her pacifier back into her mouth and resuming her coloring. “From the mouths of babes.” I said softly, smiling with pride at Rochelle. “For what it’s worth, I know that she would’ve loved you immediately had she met you.” I told her. Rochelle nodded. “I’m incredibly lovable.” she said simply without taking her eyes off her coloring. “That you are.” I told her, reaching back to pat her knee softly. ******** As the sun started to go down behind us Ducky and Rochelle began giggling quietly. “What are you two up to?” Petra asked. “Ducky tooted!” Rochelle said with a giggle, right back in her little voice and demeanor after such a heavy and adult interaction such a short time earlier. Petra rolled her eyes and turned to look back at the girls. “When are you not tooting?” she asked Ducky. Ducky shrugged and scrunched up her face before another muffled toot came from beneath her. “Are you really going to make us check into the hotel with a stinky diaper?” I asked. Petra turned back around in her seat. “Speaking of, I’m not really fit for human interaction myself.” she said, lightly prodding her deformed looking diaper. “Alright, if anyone wants a fresh diaper before we stop now’s the time.” I said as I pulled off to a gas station. “This place looks yucky.” Rochelle said as I backed into a space away from the main building to privately change everyone in the back part of the car. Petra nodded. “I vote somewhere less seedy looking.” she said. “I vote pacifiers for all!” I said dismissively, reaching back to the diaper bag for Petra’s pacifier and the changing supplies. Petra pouted as the pacifier went into her mouth at my pushing and I opened my door to get out and go to the back, opening the tailgate door of the car to lay the changing mat down before going around to Rochelle’s side to unbuckle her and lift her out of the car and carry her to the back. “I need a minute, Daddy.” she said, closing her eyes and pulling her knees up to her chest as she softly grunted behind her pacifier. I looked around to make sure no one was nearby, the old chain link fence a few feet behind me separating us from an open field with nothing and no one in it. “Daddy, I’m all done pooping!” Ducky chirped as she poked her head up from behind her seat. “Hi, baby!” she cooed down at Rochelle, stretching her arm over the seat toward the smaller girl. Rochelle giggled and reached up to take Ducky’s hand as her diaper began to slowly expand beneath her jumper, the onsie straining against the new addition beneath. “Hi, other baby!” she cooed back, making them both giggle. “I think I’m all done too, Daddy.” she said, looking up at me. I made quick work of changing Rochelle and swapped her out for Ducky, silencing her protests that she didn’t want to wear her shortalls anymore with a quick smack on her thigh as I buttoned her onesie and shortalls back up and swapped her with Petra. “I don’t have to poop.” she said quietly. “You sure?” I asked. She nodded. “I’ll use the toilet when we get settled in our room.” she told me. I smiled at her and bent down to kiss her exposed tummy just below the bottom of her shirt. “I love you, Pet.” I told her. She ran her fingers through my hair and smiled back at me. “I love you too, Daddy.” she said sweetly. I cleaned her up and fished her panties and pants from the diaper bag, allowing her to get dressed before I tossed out the used diapers in the nearby trash and packed all the changing supplies up and got back in the car. “Rules for tonight!” I said as I started the car and pulled away from the gas station. “Rule number one, you two will be in your own room tonight and no one will play with or even open the minibar.” I said, allowing Petra the honor of giving Ducky a warning gaze on my behalf. “Why are you looking at me?” Ducky asked. “Because you’re Mommy and Daddy’s little alcoholic.” Petra teased, getting a giggle from Ducky and Rochelle. “Rule number two, you’re to stay in your room unless one of us is with you.” I said, getting a nod I could see from Rochelle and an assumed nod from Ducky given the silence. “Rule three, no using the room phone.” I said. “If you need us you call or text us on your cellphone.” I said. “Rule four, Mommy and Daddy are not to be disturbed unless it’s an emergency once you two are put to bed for the night.” Petra said, going rogue and making her own rule. “What if we get scared?” Rochelle asked. “Aww, sweetie,” Petra cooed lovingly, “cuddle each other and wait for the sun to come up.” she said bluntly. “No disruptions unless one of you is hurt or sick.” she repeated. I cleared my throat. “Last rule, play with each other, bond, share each other’s company, but behave as if we were watching.” I said. “If we find out you broke any rules there will be consequences.” I warned. “Do you both understand the rules?” I asked. “Yes, Daddy.” both girls said in unison, giggling at the perfect harmony. ******** A short drive later and we were pulling into the semicircle driveway between the front of the hotel and the large fountain out front. Rochelle made a noise almost high enough for only dogs to hear in her excitement and the car was filled with her and Ducky prattling on excitedly about how pretty everything was. “This is where we’re staying?” Petra asked in disbelief, her experience of us budgeting when it came to hotels in favor of more money for fun over the years kicking in. I nodded. “First family trip needs to be nice.” I said. “Right, but, this place is a little too nice for us.” she said. I shook my head and patted her thigh. “A palace for my queen and princesses.” I said as I pulled up in front of two young men in fashionable red vests and black collared shirts. “Welcome to the Prima Vista Hotel and Spa!” the college aged, surfer looking young man with his dirty blonde hair done up in what Pet referred to as a “twat knot” greeted. He opened the two doors on the passenger side while his olive skinned, much smoother looking coworker hustled around to my side and opened mine and Ducky’s doors and we all got out, with me trading my key fob for a ticket from the cool valet, and gathered beside the car while our luggage was pulled from the car and loaded onto a golden cart with crimson carpeting where the luggage sat. I picked up Rochelle and slung the diaper bag over my shoulder while Petra took Ducky’s hand and we headed to the large gold and glass doors that opened by means of two middle aged gentlemen that warmly greeted us as we crossed the threshold. The lobby was massive, cream colored marble floors glistened beneath our feet while tranquil piano music floated through the air from a player at the far end of the lobby. A large crystal chandelier hung high above our heads and Ducky and Rochelle stared up at it as we walked up to the front desk, their mouths in perfect little ‘o’s of awe. “Welcome to the Prima Vista Hotel, may I have your name, please.” the young woman behind the counter with her trendy retro cat eye glasses and monarch adorned bobby pin in her chestnut hair chirped. I smiled politely. “Zack Klein, I have a reservation for two rooms for the night.” I told her. She clacked away on the keyboard, smiling at me and then Rochelle and then Ducky and finally Petra as her eyes went from one of us to the next to fill her attentiveness quota in the guest relations checklist she no doubt had memorized. “One room with a king and one with a queen?” she asked. I nodded. “Yes, ma’am, that’s correct.” I told her. She moved swiftly, years of practice giving her speed and efficiency that people sought out when arriving at a hotel after a day of travel, creating our room keys and placing them in little envelopes monogrammed with the hotel’s initials. “You’ll be on the sixteenth floor, room 1604 is the king and 1610 is the queen and those are across the hall from each other as requested.” she said warmly. “Jacob will take your bags up for you, have a pleasant stay and if there’s anything at all we can do for you please don’t hesitate to ask.” she explained. Petra and I thanked her while Rochelle and Ducky chose the waving goodbye while also saying goodbye and thanking her and we all piled into the elevator with Jacob, the twat knot sporting surfer. A smooth jazz version of what I swear was “Pour Some Sugar On Me” serenaded us as we stood in silence as we climbed to our floor. “Daddy, can we have room service?” Rochelle asked. Jacob played it cool and focused all of his attention on the reflective gold doors of the elevator, realizing a floor and a half into his attempt to not intrude on our conversation that he and I were able to see each other in the reflection. “We’ll see, baby.” I said, softly bouncing Rochelle on my hip. “Can we go swimming?” Ducky asked. Petra shook her head. “We didn’t pack swimming clothes, sweetie.” she said, hugging Ducky to her and smiling at Jacob. Jacob’s eyes found the floor and stayed glued there until the doors opened and he guided the cart down the hall to the end, parking between the two rooms. “Would you like me to take your bags inside, sir?” he asked. I shook my head and shook his hand, expertly placing the ten dollar bill in it and leaving it there as I released the shake. “My daughters can handle it, right girls?” I asked, setting Rochelle down and patting her butt to send her toward the cart. “Yes, Daddy.” all three girls said in a broken willed, monotone sound that I swear we never rehearsed but made them sound like mindless drones at my beck and call. Jacob smiled politely and made tried to look anywhere but in my eyes as the room doors were opened and the girls took the bags from the cart into the respective rooms, leaving Jacob free to scurry back to the elevator with a “weird guest” story to tell everyone on break as they did bong rips out back by the dumpsters. Once he was back in the elevator the girls emerged from the rooms giggling. “How did you guys all nail that tone in unison?” I asked. Petra kissed my cheek. “We’re all prisoners in this taboo life you’ve crafted for us, Daddy.” she teased, making Rochelle and Ducky giggle again. “Okay, girls, Mommy needs to go potty, but she wants both of you washed up and ready for dinner in ten minutes, alright?” she said turning to Rochelle and Ducky. Two little nods and they were off to their room while we entered ours. “Ten minutes, huh?” I asked, scooping her up and carrying her to the bed to gently lay her down before I softly kissed her neck. She shook her head and pressed her hands against my chest. “Nuh uh, sir, I actually have to poop before dinner and you,” she said, poking my chest softly, “are officially turning over your control for the remainder of the evening to me for safe keeping.” she said before slipping into the bathroom. I sighed and sat on the end of the bed. “No control for the rest of the night?” I asked. “That’s right, mister.” she said between rude noises. “Am I going to enjoy this or is it going to stress me out and then you’ll be upset with me for being a control freak?” I asked. “Zack, take a night off.” she said. “I can clearly handle the girls, and I’m more than capable of handling you.” she added. I raised an eyebrow. “Are you?” I asked. The toilet flushed and she emerged, hands on hips with her serious Mommy face on. “How many times have you had your finger and toenails painted?” she asked. “How many makeovers have you gotten? How many times have we sat on the couch with night masks on eating ice cream and watching Rom Coms?” she asked. “Probably more than I realize.” I told her. She nodded and walked toward me. “And why is that?” she asked. “Because I’m a good husband and a better Daddy.” I said. She shook her head and straddled my lap, pushing me onto my back on the bed as she lightly pinned my arms above my head. “Those things are true, but you do them because I ask, and tonight I’m telling you to take the night off and let Mommy be in charge.” she said as she got closer and closer to my face until she finally kissed me once she’d finished her sentence. I nodded as I kissed her back. “Yes, Mommy.” I said, my cheeks feeling warmer the moment the words left my lips. She squealed in delight, like if she were a cartoon the word bubble above her head would’ve just said “squeal”. “Oh, you’re absolutely calling me that in this room tonight.” she said. I blushed again, hating that my complexion showed embarrassment so easily. “Go slow.” I told her. She kissed each of my blushing cheeks and climbed off of me, her smile one of actual bliss as she took my hand and led me to the door, opening it for me and swatting my butt playfully but firmly as I passed her. ******** What doesn’t mix in this world? Oil and water. Mexican food and tight jeans. Adult women dressed like little girls with diapers under their clothes and a fancy restaurant. Universally known to all, yet we thought about it, went and got a table and everything and then realized our mistake when Ducky made a gagging sound when Petra informed her what “Escargot” was and when Rochelle complained that she wanted a booster seat because she couldn’t see “Daddy” well around the lovely floral decoration in the center of the table. So, on our king sized bed we gathered, girls in diapers and onesies, with all other articles of clothing strewn on the floor, and our room service meals in front of us with Petra dutifully playing Mommy and feeding Rochelle her chicken soup and oyster crackers between bites of her own meal of a club sandwich. Ducky had chicken strips and a fruit salad while I had breakfast for dinner, eggs and hash browns with a side of bacon and silver dollar pancakes and a beer to help me ease into the night ahead of me. After dinner Petra gathered the dishes and put them back on the cart and set it outside the door and then went to work cleaning sticky hands and faces before she gathered up the discarded clothes from the floor and folded them neatly and helped each girl off the bed to hand them their clothes. “Give Daddy a kiss goodnight and Mommy will take you to your room for bed.” she commanded. The whines of protest were silenced instantly with a single stern look that sent both girls scampering to me for a kiss and a hug before they were led out the door. I sighed contentedly and stretched out on the bed, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before closing my eyes. “You better not be asleep, young man.” Petra playfully exclaimed as she came back some time later. I shook my head. “Just resting my eyes.” I told her. “Girls go down okay?” I asked. She pressed a finger to my lips. “Not your concern.” she said softly. I swallowed and nodded. “Say it.” she commanded in her seductive but authoritative voice. I swallowed again. “Yes, Mommy.” I said mechanically. She shuddered softly with excitement and climbed off the bed. “Are you a big enough boy to undress yourself or do you need Mommy’s help?” she asked, those goddamned hands on those goddamned hips again. I undid my belt and my pants and slipped them down. “Panties too, little boy.” she said coolly. I felt my face warm as I gathered the elastic band up in with my jeans and scooted off the bed to stand and remove my bottoms followed by my shirt and lay back down where I’d been. She walked around the bed to my side, her smirk and commanding gaze making me stiffen to her delight. “Ooh, someone likes having Mommy tell him what to do, doesn’t he?” she cooed, tracing one finger up the length of my shaft. I nodded softly as my cheeks flushed. “Yes, Mommy.” I admitted. She smiled and sat down beside my butt, slipping her shirt off. “I know you had a big dinner, but Mommy’s boobies are very full and she needs someone to help her empty them.” she said, lightly stroking my penis with one finger as she looked at me with big, hopeful eyes. I nodded again. “Yes, Mommy, I’ll help you.” I told her. She crawled up and over me and got comfortable on the other side of the bed and patted her lap and I rolled onto my side and crawled to her and curled up beside her with my head in her lap, looking up at her as she undid one clasp on her maternity bra and opened it to reveal the thick, glistening nipple beneath. I felt her support my head and guide it upward until I reached her breast and latched onto her, sucking almost immediately and delighting in the warm, sweet liquid rolling down my throat with each rhythmic pull from my lips. She moaned softly and traced a hand down my side until she found my penis and she gently stroked it in time with my nursing. “Such a good boy.” she cooed in a whisper thick with arousal. I nodded my agreement, my eyes closed and my hips moving gently in time with her strokes and my nursing. Her thumb stroked my hair. “Mommy should’ve put a diaper on you.” she mused. “Little boy like you, only a matter of time before you make a mess in this nice bed.” she continued, her stroking of my cock becoming a little more deliberate in its goal. I shook my head softly. She chuckled softly. “Sweet boy, you don’t have any say tonight, remember?” she reminded me. “Mommy could diaper you up and get you in some cute, girly PJ’s and send you across the hall to sleep with the other babies so she could have this big bed all to herself.” she teased. I knew she didn’t have any baby clothes, girly or otherwise that would fit me, and I doubted any of the diapers would comfortably fit me, but my cock twinged just enough for her to chuckle again. She moaned softly. “Should we do that when we get home, baby?” she asked. “Should we find you a cute little outfit to wear? Maybe something to match Rochelle so you can be little twins?” she cooed. I whimpered softly and shook my head as I continued to nurse, hating that I was so turned on by what she was saying, reassuring myself that anything she said in combination with a handjob and breast sucking would get me off. Her rhythm increased, helped along by the slickness of my excitement and impending explosion. “You don’t need to lie, baby, your little man is telling Mommy everything she needs to know.” she teased. “Maybe Mommy can get a special toy for her baby girl’s cute little bottom and-” she stopped. I whined softly and grunted as I exploded into her hand and onto the bed, my body shaking as I tensed up, sucking long and deep on her breast as I pressed my face into it until the spasms slowed and finally stopped and I relaxed and sighed as I started to pull away. She clucked her tongue. “You’re not even close to done yet, baby.” she cooed as she held me back to her breast and held her hand up. “Open your eyes and look at the mess you made, baby.” she chided. I blushed at the sight of my sticky mess all over her hand and quickly closed my eyes as I fell back into the nursing rhythm. “I should make you lick Mommy’s hand clean, but you’re little mouth is doing very important work.” she said, placing her hand onto my bare ass with a wet slap that made me jump, but then she began to softly rock me as she gently hummed a lullaby. The combination of cumming, a full belly that was still filling, her rocking and humming and the love that I felt for her made me start to fall asleep. “Alright, baby, it’s time to get you cleaned up for night night’s.” she whispered as she pulled me from her breast and guided me from her lap. I yawned and belched loudly, watching her as she clasped her bra and went to the diaper bag to get some wipes out to clean me up, making sure to get every bit of stickiness off me and sneaking a finger into my bottom to wake me up when my eyes drooped too far for her liking. “Almost done, sweetie.” she cooed softly. Thick rubber entered my mouth and I realized sleepily that she’d pacified me and heard the familiar sounds of a diaper being unfolded and worked into a more functional state with some jostling to get the creases and kinks out. “No diaper.” I mumbled. “Yes, diaper.” she argued, hefting my butt up via my legs to slip the diaper beneath me. I sleepily tried to fight, maybe, I probably just lay there thinking she’d find the diaper too small for me and put it on herself, but I felt her test it and clap her hands in happiness and finished powdering me and taping the diaper on snugly, more snugly than it probably should’ve been, but I was too tired to care. “Now, before you slip off to dreamland, Mommy wants you to go potty for her, baby.” she cooed sweetly as she pressed her hand to the front of my diaper. I shook my head lazily. “No, Mommy, I’m a big boy.” I mumbled through the pacifier. “I guess we’ll be getting you some cute little baby clothes and pretty princess diapers when we get home then.” she warned. I furrowed my brow and pushed down on my bladder. “No, baby, relax and let it happen.” she said. “Unless you’re pooping, I which case keep it up.” she encouraged. I sucked the pacifier, memories of her sweet milk flowing down my throat dancing through my mind as a warm flow began to come, a wet hiss and gurgle filling the room as my bladder emptied for her. She held her hand on my diaper until my flow stopped and she softly patted it and came up to kiss my forehead. “Mommy is very proud of you, baby.” she whispered as she helped me pull the covers out from under me and tucked me in, her body joining mine as she hugged herself to me from behind and turned to shut the lights off. “This is definitely something we’re going to explore when we get back home.” she whispered. I sleepily nodded. “Yes, Mommy.” I dreamily mumbled before sleep overtook me. To Be Continued...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Seriously though, I can't possibly answer your question without spoiling anything BUT I will say that I'm very pleased you're enjoying the story and that you took the time to comment, it means a lot. #Linaisaslayerconfirmed

IX “Haunted” “Katie?!” I called out after getting out of the tub and wrapping myself in my towel. I padded to the bathroom door and peaked out into the lab, nothing altered or acting insane as it had before. I stepped through the doorway and looked around, “You still here?” I called out, “You crazy ghost bitch.” I added under my breath. The lab was silent and as it always was, unkempt but impressive, nothing seeming to be out of place and no long dead girls roaming around. I sighed and took off my towel as I neared the bed and made quick work of diapering myself, making sure to apply ample rash cream to my sore bits and slipped on a shirt and some sweatpants, reaching for my phone to call Tim, my hand hitting the top of the nightstand rather than my phone. I had plugged it in to charge before I took my bath, I was certain of it, and now not only was my phone gone but the cable and plug that had been connected to it were gone as well. “Katie, did you take my phone?!” I called out, more than slightly annoyed. Silence. I got up from the bed with another sigh and headed over to my desk to video call Tim, sitting down in my chair while I waited for the computer to boot up. “I need my phone, Katie!” I called out, feeling incredibly stupid for talking to an obvious figment of my imagination. The computer started up and I opened my video call program and got a “no internet” message that made me bang on the desk in frustration and spend the next fifteen minutes trying to get the internet back up and running with no success. “Fine, no phone and no internet.” I sneered. “Let’s try and figure out what the hell is going on with me then.” I thought as I sat back down at my desk and opened the program for the machine. “Memory got me into this, memory can get me out.” I said as I typed in my desired criteria for my search. Wanting to understand why I was seeing Katie when she was part of Tim’s memory, and assuming she was part of a data leak that implanted her into my memories, I searched the database of memories I’d established when I created the program, a map of my memories that encompassed every memory in my brain, even those that I wasn’t aware of all the way in the dark corners of my brain. I searched for fragmented memories and limited the search to only the last two days and came up with nothing. I opened up the search to the last week and still came up with nothing. “What the actual fuck!” I spat. Sighing, I removed any time constraints and waited. My eyes went wide when hundreds of results popped up around age thirteen and continued for several years after that. “What happened when I was thirteen?” I wondered. “Was it me going back to the night of the camping trip and telling Tim I loved him? But why would that cause so much fragmentation for years afterward?” I thought. I got up and padded over to my whiteboard, erasing a section and doing some equations to try and solve the problem. “Before I amplified the machine there would be no way for anything I did to make a difference in the events of my life going forward,” I thought, “even after the amplification, I wasn’t altering history, just my own memories.” I said as I chewed the capped end of the marker, staring at the picture I’d drawn on the whiteboard and giggling as my diaper warmed. The crude little house I’d drawn looked, to me, like a photo realistic portrayal of the house I’d grown up in complete with a smiling sun above it, the sun smiled back then because climate change hadn’t happened yet. Out front of the house was a tall stick figure in an apron, Mommy, of course, and a little stick figure in a diaper, Baby Lina, of course, but to the right of the Baby Lina stick figure was another figure, taller than Baby Lina but shorter than Mommy. “What the fuck, that’s not math!” I exclaimed as I realized I’d just doodled a dumb baby picture. “Wait. Katie?” I asked the empty room as I looked at the drawing. “She called Mommy “mom” when she was giving me a bath and now I’d drawn her in my family.” my thoughts fuzzed and I slumped down in the nearby chair, the capped end of the marker being replaced by my thumb as I tried to puzzle things out. She sighed as she rested her hands on my shoulders and whispered into my ear. “Give it up, sweetie, you’re never going to figure this out.” she cooed. “It’d be so much easier to just relax and let your brain turn into baby mush, wouldn’t it?” she asked. I’d jumped in my seat when she’d shown up but the second her hands touched me I felt relaxed, a calm washing over me as I sucked my thumb, drool running down my chin as my diaper warmed a little more. “No!” I cried out, shaking my head vehemently as I tried to stand, making my quite dizzy and sending me sprawling to the floor on my hands and knees. Katie clucked her tongue behind me. “Still as clumsy as ever.” she teased as she walked around the chair and came around in front of me, taking a seat on the floor to be on my level. “All those fragmented memories.” she said thoughtfully, bringing her hand up to cup my chin in her hand. “What could’ve caused your silly little mind to be such a cluttered mess?” she asked. I fumed and batted her hand away. “Why are you here?!” I snapped. She shrugged. “You tell me.” she said. I got off my hands and knees and sat back on my butt in front of her, my legs splayed out. “You’re not really here, you’re just some glitch in the machine.” I guessed. She nodded slowly as if considering what I’d said. “But why would you be able to see me when we’ve never met before?” she asked. I chewed my bottom lip. “Tim’s memory leaked into mine.” I said. “I’m not seeing YOU, I’m seeing corrupted data that’s using parts of my memory as things it’s saying.” I explained. She looked impressed. “Not bad, sweetie.” she praised, reaching out and patting my head condescendingly before she stood up, towering over me and looking down with a little grin. “But,” she said, “what if you’re wrong?” she asked. I looked up at her and watched her walk to the machine, getting back up on all fours to stand myself back up. “What other option is there?” I asked, steadying myself on the chair. She shrugged. “You’re too afraid to ask, aren’t you?” she asked. “All that fancy education and you’re still just a scared, and silly little girl that can’t keep her diapers clean and dry.” she chided. “Fuck you!” I spat. “What, you want me to actually think about why you’re calling Mommy “mom” or why you’re acting like a big sister lording power over me?” I asked. She smiled. “Or why all those pesky memories are corrupted at that specific period of time.” she offered with a little raise of her eyebrow. I shook my head. “No, you’re a fucking hallucination and I’m just on some crazy ass head trip because I screwed with the machine and broke it.” I told her. She shrugged nonchalantly. “Whatever you say, baby sis.” she said. I groaned. “Fine, I’ll use the machine and access one of the corrupted memories and prove it to you!” I sneered. “Prove it to the ‘fucking hallucination’?” she asked. I nodded. “If it’ll get you to go away, yeah!” I told her as I moved to the desk and keyed in the data from the first corrupted memory, noticing she’d disappeared as I went and sat on the chair and pulled the headpiece into place. ******** The rushing sound of overlapping voices and noise wasn’t there when the lab disappeared and the memory filled the void around me, it was purely silence and darkness and I was cold. “Hello?!” I called out. In the darkness there was a faint blinking, yellowish in color just beyond my ability to make out the source. Then there was whimpering, weak and frightened. “Katie?!” I called out. I felt something tug at my mind, an urge and suddenly I was crying and screaming her name over and over again. The darkness brightened and I realized I was upside down looking at the smashed windshield and dash of a car from my spot in the backseat. Outside the windshield I could see light from the headlights shining on Katie as she lay on her stomach, her face bloodied as she looked back at me in the car. “Close your eyes, Lina.” she said, her voice quavering and raspy. I shook my head. “Katie!” I cried, grunting in frustration as I tried to unbuckle my seatbelt. She shushed me. “Stay there, sweetie, you’ll be okay.” she said, her voice getting weaker and quieter. “Tell mom that I’m sorry, okay?” she asked. “Tell her,” she whimpered and gasped as a sharp pain hit her, “tell her that I love her.” she finally managed to croak out. My eyes burned as tears poured from them. “Tell her yourself, Katie, you’re gonna be okay!” I cried. She smiled, her braces marred with blood, keeping them from glinting in the light the way they always did. “I love you, Lina.” she said. “I’m sorry it took me so long to admit that I was proud of you for being honest about who you are.” she said as she began to cough, blood spattering on the dirt in front of her. “Katie.” I whimpered as I watched her essence fade from her eyes, leaving a blank, vacant stare of a dead girl in its place. ******** The lab returned and I sat forward with a gasp as I began to bawl uncontrollably, my mind spinning at what I’d just seen. “Holy fuck, what the fuck?!” I cried in disbelief. Katie was seated at the desk looking at me somberly. “So?” she asked. I swallowed down my urge to vomit. “I was there?” I asked. “When you died, I was with you?!” I asked. She nodded. “Try and remember, Lina.” she urged. I closed my eyes and thought about what I’d just experienced and my mind began rewinding the tape on my memory, stopping back at our house, Katie changing my diaper. “I don’t care what you want me to do, mom, I’m taking time off to spend with Lina before I go back to school.” Katie yelled. I sucked my pacifier nervously, on full display as she wiped me clean, hoping that if I stayed quiet I wouldn’t get pulled into the argument. Mommy scoffed. “I guess it’s hereditary.” she sneered. “Meaning?” Katie asked as she balled up the used diaper and slipped a new one beneath my bottom. “Meaning, you’re no better than your sister, taking time away from your responsibilities to play with your little baby doll.” she spat. Katie powdered me and taped the new diaper on. “She’s your daughter, why can’t you be supportive of her?” she snapped. Mommy came over and thrust her hand out in my direction. “Supportive of this?!” she shouted. “Supportive of a bedwetter that decided to give up on maturity?” she asked. “Honestly, if it weren’t for you playing into this little game of hers all the time she would’ve gotten over it already.” she said. Katie snapped my onesie closed and helped me off the bed to pull my pants up over my diaper. “No, mom, she wouldn’t because this is something that’s a part of her, just like-” she stopped. “Like what?” Mommy asked, hands on her hips expectantly. Katie sighed and took my hand, grabbing the diaper bag from the bed. “Forget it, I’m not doing this with you anymore, I’m going to a friend’s house.” she said, dragging me behind her as she headed to the door. “If you walk out that door, don’t bother coming back!” Mommy shouted. Katie paused for a moment and looked back at me and gave a weak smile before turning to Mommy. “Fine, fuck you!” she snapped and out the door we went. ******** I swallowed hard. “How do I not remember any of that?” I asked. I looked over at the desk, finding it empty and I stood up slowly from the chair. “Did I really repress all of the knowledge of you being my sister?” I asked. I hurried to the desk and opened the folder of pictures my mom had sent, scans from old photo albums and clicked through them. Little Katie sitting beside me at my first birthday party. Little Katie playing with baby me on the beach. Little Katie holding my hand on the first day of school. I shook my head in disbelief and clicked through to pictures of me as a tween. Katie holding a bottle and stroking my hair as I lay on the couch with her, diapers visible beneath my nightgown. Katie playing on the floor with me, baby blocks and soft toys littering the blanket beneath me. I clicked forward and felt my eyes begin to brim with tears as the pictures of me alone began to go by, me on a swing sucking my pacifier with no one to push me, me on the blanket of toys staring off into space with tears in my eyes. I realized the pictures weren’t real when they started moving and I felt myself being pulled into them to relive the awful moments captured within. I found myself seated on a pew in the back of the church, the flower arrangement and coffin far ahead, my parents sitting with friends and family while I sat alone with only a stuffed animal. “What’s their name?” a voice asked. I looked up to see Tim standing there in a dark suit, his eyes puffy and red from crying. “Dis Kaydee.” I told him around my pacifier, holding the little purple and teal unicorn plush up for him to see better. He sighed and took a seat beside me. “That’s a very pretty name, Lina.” he said. I nodded and lay my head against him, cuddling the plush as he put his arm around me. “How come you’re back here by yourself?” he asked. I shrugged absently. “Mommy said I’s a dis-” I thought about what Mommy had said earlier when she was waking me up that morning. “You’re a disappointment, Carolina!” she had screamed, yanking the blankets off me. “I won’t play your little game, young lady, if you want to be a baby you can take care of yourself!” she yelled before she ran off crying. I swallowed and sniffled. “Dipsapoynmin.” I said, trying to say the word. Tim looked at me and then up at my mother’s back. “She told you you were a disappointment?” he asked. I nodded softly. “Does your dad ever say anything to her about that?” he asked. I shook my head. “Daddy ony hewe fo Kaydee.” I told him. He nodded. “Yeah, I know he’s been gone for a while, but still, he shouldn’t let her talk to you like that.” he told me. I shrugged, my diaper warming. “You Kaydee Daddy?” I asked. He blushed and softly nodded. “I wanted to be, yeah.” he said. “You be Lina Daddy?” I asked. He smiled and kissed the top of my head. “No, sweetie, you’re a little too young for me.” he said. I nodded, bored of the conversation if it wasn’t going where I wanted it to, and scooted off the pew to wander up to the casket, murmurs all around me as the classmate of Katie that had been speaking stopped and everyone watched me toddle up to the coffin and set the unicorn on top of it. “Miss you, sissy.” I said softly before I hugged the coffin as best I could and turned to leave, feeling a fresh warmth in my diaper as I saw the glare of my mother that made me clumsily hurry back to my seat, trip and crawl the rest of the way. ******** I lay on the bed bawling, curled into a fetal position for hours after experiencing whatever the photos had caused, another hallucination, an actual memory, I had no idea anymore and quite honestly, I was exhausted and ready to give up on this emotional roller coaster. “You’re not done yet, Lina.” Katie said as she sat on the edge of the bed stroking my hair. “You still have some things to work out.” she added. I looked up at her and saw she was looking over at my phone, plugged in and charging where I’d left it, and I sat up quickly and wiped my eyes. “Where did you hide it?!” I asked, but she was gone again. I picked up my phone and unlocked the screen and went to my contacts, looking for “Daddy” which should’ve been right at the top, but found no such entry. I scrolled through the list, thinking the entry might have defaulted back to “Tim” but couldn’t find that either. I went to the recent calls list and saw that I’d neither made nor received any calls for weeks, the last one being a number I didn’t recognize. “Katie, what did you do to my phone?!” I called out. I sighed set the phone down. “No Daddy to call?” she asked. I glowered at her. “Why did you delete him?” I asked. She shook her head. “Can’t delete what isn’t there.” she said. I looked at her and then at the phone. “Tim was never here, was he?” I asked. She smiled sympathetically. “One more step, baby.” she urged. I closed my eyes. “No.” I said quietly. “I’m not crazy!” I shouted. The phone began to ring, the same number I’d seen as the last received call in my history. “Hello?” I asked as I hit the green ‘answer’ button. “Carolina?” came a woman’s voice. I nodded. “Yes.” I said softly. “I’m going to count down from five, and when I reach zero you’re going to wake up, okay?” the woman asked. I shook my head. “What are you-” I started to ask. “Five.” she said, ignoring me. The walls of the lab began to creak and groan around me. “Four.” she said. The lab began to flicker and grow darker like the lights were failing. “Three.” she said. Cracks began to form in the walls and floor around me. “Two.” she said. A deep groan filled my ears as pieces of furniture faded out of sight, swallowed by the ever expanding darkness. “One.” she said. The lab was gone save for a pinpoint of light as the darkness engulfed me. “Zero.” she said, a snap of her finger accompanying the word. I opened my eyes slowly and saw a woman in her mid forties to early fifties seated in a leather chair looking at me, the notepad on her crossed leg full of writing. “Carolina?” she asked. “Can you tell me where you are?” she asked. I looked around and swallowed, my throat dry. “Office.” I croaked. She nodded. “Do you you know who I am?” she asked. I started to shake my head, having never seen this woman before, and then she was there in my memory an instant later. “Dr. Klein.” I said. “Good.” she responded, jotting something down. “Can you tell me how old you are?” she asked. My mind flipped through my memories like a flip book and I saw myself as all the ages I’d been in all the memories I’d experienced recently. “Take your time.” she calmly encouraged. I thought more. “Thirty six?” I asked. She smiled. “Very good.” she praised. “Where’s Daddy?” I asked. “And Katie?” I added. She looked at me and reached out her hand to gently caress mine as I lay on the couch in front of her. “Carolina, think about what we’ve been doing here.” she said. The memory snapped into my brain just as she had a moment earlier. “Katie’s dead.” I said flatly. She nodded. “And Tim?” she asked. “Daddy.” I corrected. She shook her head. “No, Carolina, he wasn’t your Daddy, he was Katie’s Daddy.” she explained. I shook my head. “No, we grew up together and I used my machine to find out about his fetish and then I became his baby and he became my Daddy!” I protested. “Carolina, there was never a machine and Tim never saw you again after Katie’s funeral, remember?” she explained. I felt my eyes begin to fill with tears. “You’re lying!” I whined. She sighed and jotted down more notes. “I thought we were making so much progress, Carolina.” she said, her tone almost sad. I sat up and glared at her. “Where’s Daddy!” I screamed, pushing myself off the couch and lunging at her, only to be stopped by a strong grip on my arms by two very large hands. I thrashed wildly against the grip, looking up at a giant of a man in a white uniform holding me tightly. Dr. Klein sighed and got up, walking over to the small cart beside her desk to retrieve a syringe that she removed the cap from and walked over to me to plunge into my shoulder, injecting the liquid within into me. “Take her back to her room and we’ll try again tomorrow.” she said. My vision grew fuzzier as I slumped against the large man and felt him effortlessly lift me up, cradling me in his arms as we left the doctor behind and walked down a long hall, the metal mesh over the windows blurring as we went. There was a loud buzz and the groan of a door opening and he walked forward and lay me down on a bed, securing my wrists and ankles with the straps connected to it before he turned and walked out, shutting the door behind him with a dull thud. The all white room was padded on the floor, walls, and ceiling and crayon drawn pictures hung up around the room, secured by tape. I whimpered and feebly struggled against the straps, smelling the foul odor of a messy diaper a moment later and absently wondering as I slipped off to sleep whether there was a baby in the room with me. To Be Continued...

...tough but fair.

I feel I should get reduced demerits for breaking someone's brain though, I'm sure the human brain is more complicated than the silly old time stream. Also, since the story doesn't have time travel I was at a severe disadvantage to even access the time stream to break it...

Chapter Sixteen Pick A Lane Two hours had passed since we’d stopped for fresh diapers for my passengers and my stomach was starting to growl. I looked back in the rearview mirror and saw Rochelle and Ducky resting their heads on Petra’s shoulders while Petra rested her head on Ducky’s, all three out cold. I took note of the “gas, food, and lodging” sign and pulled off at the designated exit, driving past the gas stations and heading for a restaurant that sounded good to me and would satisfy the girl’s, pulling into a parking space and turning in my seat to gently rouse with a soft shake of her knee. She woke with a start, her soft snore taking on a grating rasp as her head lifted and her eyes blearily opened. “I’m up!” she exclaimed, moving to get out of her seat only to be stopped by her seatbelt, she furrowed her brow in confusion and whined as she tried again with similar results. “Pet, you’re still buckled in, silly.” I told her, delighting in her blush and little pout as she sleepily fumbled to unbuckle herself. Rochelle yawned and sat up, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. “Are we there, Daddy?” she asked. I smiled at her. “Not yet, baby, Daddy stopped for some food and wanted to see if there were any hungry tummies back there.” I told her. Ducky sat up and rubbed the sleep form her eyes before she stretched. “What kinda food, Daddy?” she asked. “Burgers.” I told her. “Can I have nuggies?” Rochelle asked. I nodded. “How do we ask?” I asked. She giggled. “May I please have nuggies, Daddy?” she asked. I nodded again. “Yes you may, sweetie.” I told her. “What about you two?” I asked Petra and Ducky. “I want a big bacony burger!” Ducky exclaimed. I chuckled. “Awake for ten seconds and ready to eat, huh?” I asked. Petra patted Ducky’s thigh. “When is she not ready to eat?” she asked. “I want a shake.” she added. “A shake is not a meal, Pet.” I reminded her. “I know.” she agreed. “Maybe I’ll have some of Rochelle’s nuggies.” she said, playfully tickling the little girl’s tummy. Rochelle giggled and squirmed to try and escape, her seatbelt keeping her in the danger zone. “Mommy, those nuggies are for me!” she squealed. Petra stopped tickling her and kissed her head, turning with a rustle of her diaper to Ducky who she began tickling. “Maybe Mommy needs to have some bacon burger then!” she playfully threatened. Ducky mirrored Rochelle’s giggling and escape attempt with similar result. “Mommy, I need that to grow big and strong!” she protested. Petra blew a raspberry with her tongue. “Looks like no one will share with me!” she said in feigned exasperation as she turned to face me. “If you’re not hungry enough for grownup food I can get you another bottle of milk.” I teasingly offered. Petra smirked. “I know you’re joking, but my milk tastes really freaking good!” she declared, Rochelle and Ducky nodding in agreement. I laughed and patted her knee. “I think we should probably save that for the actual babies, wouldn’t you agree, Mommy?” I asked her. She stuck out her tongue. “Mommy can have as much of her milk as she wants, sir.” she playfully argued. I rolled my eyes. “Alright, nuggies, bacon burger, and…” I said, turning around and starting the car, looking back at Petra expectantly. “A chicken sammy, please.” she said with a big, cheesy grin plastered across her face. ********* I pulled the car around back to the parking lot after getting our order at the drive-thru and parked. “There’s a table over there we can eat at.” I said, turning off the car. “Umm, I don’t have anything on over my diaper, Daddy.” Petra reminded me. I nodded. “I know.” I said, getting out of the car and going back to open Ducky’s door and help her out, handing her the bags of food as I looked into the car at Petra. She flushed. “May I please have pants to cover my diaper, Daddy?” she asked. I stroked my chin thoughtfully as I pretended to consider her request. “Didn’t you want public humiliation instead of a spanking?” I pondered aloud. “I already carried my dirty diaper to the trash can in the parking lot without pants on!” she whined. I closed the door and smiled, pleased with myself as I went to Rochelle’s side and opened the door, leaning in to unbuckle her seatbelt and help her out of the car, picking her up and placing her on my hip as I looked in at Petra once more. “I think I saw a pair of sweatpants in the diaper bag.” I told her, closing the door to allow her some privacy before going back to Ducky and taking her hand so we we could wait for Petra. Emerging from the car a few moments later, Petra joined us with a renewed blush and a pout on her face. “They weren’t sweatpants.” she told me. I knew what they were when I’d told her they were sweatpants and smiled at her as I took in the sight of her bulging, rustling bottom straining against the tight fabric of the black yoga pants she was now wearing, the one’s that were just big enough to fit over her diaper but not big enough to completely cover it in the back ensuring that if she leaned forward and her shirt rode up, several inches of the back of her diaper would be on display for anyone that cared to look. She took Ducky’s other hand and we crossed the parking lot together, and got settled at the table, Ducky and Petra across from me and Rochelle on my lap. I set up Rochelle’s nuggets on the wrapper of my burger, making sure she had her little dipping cup of honey mustard and watched Petra get Ducky’s food set up for her like the good Mommy she was and then we ate our lunch, the conversation at the table mostly centering around how long the drive would be and where we’d be staying when we stopped for the night. Once Rochelle had finished her nuggets she lay back against me and popped her pacifier into her mouth, sighing contentedly as I softly bounced her, sure she’d be asleep again once we got back on the road. “I can take over driving if you want a break, Daddy.” Petra offered as she diligently wiped Ducky’s hands and face with a napkin once the girl had finished her burger. I shrugged. “If you want to, but I’m fine, hon.” I told her. “I can drive too, Daddy!” Ducky chimed in. I smiled at her and nodded. “I know you can, honey, and Daddy appreciates the offer, but it might be a good idea if either Mommy or Daddy drives since we’ve been where we’re going before.” I told her. She nodded and finished her drink, making empty sucking noises with her straw until Petra gently pulled the cup from her hands and set it on the table, putting Ducky’s pacifier into the girl’s mouth before gathering up all the trash in front of them. “Can you throw this away for Mommy?” she asked Ducky. With a little salute, Ducky took the trash and wandered over to the can a few feet away. “I want to have some time with her in the front seat if it’s okay with you.” Petra whispered once Ducky was out of earshot. I nodded. “You got it, babe.” I said. I kissed the top of Rochelle’s head and gently rubbed her tummy as I bounced her on my lap. “Looks like we’re backseat buddies, little one.” I told her, getting a sleepy little giggle from her. ******** Back on the road, Rochelle and I in the back and Petra driving with Ducky beside her, I looked at my phone while casually eavesdropping on the up front goings on and making sure Rochelle was comfortable as she lightly snored beside me, head resting on the pillow I’d put between us to keep my shoulder covered for her to go back to sleep. “So, what’s your ultimate goal as our daughter?” Petra asked. “What do you mean?” Ducky asked. “Well, Rochelle will, more than likely, meet someone and move out and get married and start her own family, so I’m curious if that’s what your goal is as well.” Petra explained. Ducky shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought about it.” she admitted. Petra reached over and took Ducky’s hand in hers. “You need to, Deandra.” she said. “You’re going to get older, we all are, and yes, you and Rochelle will always be our daughters, but I don’t think you’ll always want to be our babies.” she added. “You don’t know that.” Ducky said, a hint of petulance in her voice. Petra nodded. “I do.” she said, sighing softly. “I know you, Deandra, I know you’re a woman with needs and wants and as our daughter you’ll have to look outside our house for those things to be fulfilled.” she explained. “Unless you plan on giving up sex for the rest of your life.” she added. “I figured you and I could-” she started before Petra cut her off. “No.” she said simply, shaking her head. “I will be your mother, or your lover, but not both.” she said firmly. “But before you said-” Ducky started to argue. “I’ve thought about it, and it’s wrong.” Petra said. “I need to have a clear role when it comes to you, Deandra, otherwise I’ll feel like something I want isn’t being satisfied.” she explained. “When we adopt you that’s you becoming our daughter and I will love and support and protect and care for you, but I won’t do anything naughty with you.” she continued. Ducky was silent for a moment. “Wouldn’t it be weird for me to start dating?” she finally asked. Petra nodded. “It might, but look at Athena and Illiana.” she offered. “I just want you to have a trajectory for your life in mind.” she added. “Can I think about it?” Ducky asked. Petra nodded. “Of course, I’m not trying to pawn you off on someone tomorrow.” she said. “When we adopted Rochelle she needed to be a very little baby for a while because she was hurting, we allowed that and cared for her and now she’s growing up a little bit each day while she deals with everything and see’s a counselor.” she explained. “I don’t need to be a very little baby.” Ducky said. Petra pulled her to her and kissed the top of her head. “I know, sweetie.” she said. “You do need to decide what age you would like to be treated as though.” she added. “We’d hate to baby you when you needed to feel more independent or give you responsibilities when you needed to be little and make things confusing or unhappy for you.” she explained. “Mommy?” Ducky asked after a long silence. “Yes, baby?” Petra asked. Ducky sniffled and wiped her eyes. “I umm, I wanted to say that I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings by wanting to be your daughter more than I wanted to be your girlfriend.” she said. “I just, I love you so much and Daddy too, and sex is sex but having loving parents and being part of a family is something that I’ve always needed but never felt like I would ever have.” she explained. Petra nodded. “I know, baby.” she said. “Mommy isn’t hurt, she’s going to miss that relationship for a while, but having you as a daughter is going to be so much fun for both of us.” she said, her voice quavering as she tried not to cry. I cleared my throat. “If you need me to take over I can, Pet.” I said softly. Petra nodded. “I’m sorry, Daddy, I didn’t think this was going to turn into a big sob fest.” she said as she started to pull off the freeway to a grocery store parking lot. I hugged her as we stood outside the car together to switch places. “I’m really proud of you, Pet.” I told her. “You’re an amazing woman.” I added, kissing her softly on the lips. She murmured happily as she kissed me back and nodded. “Thank you.” she said softly as she opened the back door and climbed in. Ducky remained in the front seat to my surprise. “You sure you don’t want to be back there with everyone else?” I asked. She nodded. “Am I making the right choice, Daddy?” she asked. I shrugged and started the car. “I’ll help you girls with anything and everything that’s within my power, honey, but deciding whether to be adopted or keep things how they are isn’t something I can help you with, I’m sorry.” I told her. “Can Petra and I have a room alone tonight when we stop, Daddy?” she asked. I sighed. “Ducky, are you a grownup that plays baby or a baby that plays grownup?” I asked. “Grownup.” she said softly, chewing her bottom lip. “Then please, for everyone’s sake, act like it.” I told her, trying to keep my tone even despite being annoyed. “Whatever you want you need to be able to say it.” I said. “And no, you cannot have a separate room.” I added. “I’m tired of this wishy washy back and forth, if you want to be adopted then commit to it, if you want to be an adult that has sex with Petra but also gets to play baby then commit to it, but if you keep this indecisive shit up I’m going to have to insist that you do it in your head until you figure it out because it’s getting old.” I snapped. Ducky stared in disbelief, her bottom lip trembling as her eyes began to water. “I’m sorry, Daddy.” she mumbled. “I wasn’t trying to be annoying.” she added with a sniffle as tears started rolling down her cheeks. I turned off the car and got out, going around to her side and opening the door where I unbuckled her seatbelt and lifted her out and up into my arms, rubbing her back softly as she began to cry in earnest. “Hey, I’m sorry I lost my patience, okay?” I asked. “I’ve got a lot of things on my mind right now and I just lost control for a second.” I explained. She shook her head. “You’re right.” she said. “I’m sorry.” she added between stifled sobs. Petra had gotten out of the car and came up beside us. “I think she needs some special attention.” she whispered to me. I set Ducky down and watched Petra take her hand and lead her back to the backseat of the car and went around to my side to get back in and start the car, looking back in the rearview mirror at Petra getting Ducky settled at her breast while her hand went between the girl’s thighs and deftly unbuttoned the snaps at the crotch of her shortalls and onesie beneath, gently pressing into the front of the obviously wet diaper beneath. We exchanged looks in the mirror and she winked at me and smiled and I nodded and put the car into drive. ******** Rochelle slept peacefully, her pacifier softly bobbing as it worked gently in her mouth. Ducky snored loudly, a belly full of burger and breast milk and a nice orgasm putting her down like a tranquilizer dart. Petra had sent Ducky to cuddle with Rochelle and had crawled up between the seats to rejoin me in the front, her yoga pants gone and her diaper mussed from her own playtime with her other hand while she got Ducky off. “Did you finish?” I asked. She shook her head. “I wasn’t trying to, just wanted to have a little fun.” she said. I nodded. “You okay?” I asked. She nodded and smiled. “I told you earlier that she’ll be whatever I tell her to be, but if we leave it up to her she goes round and round until she spins out entirely.” she explained. “I’ll keep her on a regular orgasm schedule, maybe train her to associate nursing with cumming.” she mused aloud. “Remember when we were normal?” I asked with a scoff. She giggled. “No, that must be some other girl you knew.” she teased. “How’re you doing?” she asked after a moment. I shrugged. “Trying to keep my head in the here and now and not think about all the things I’m going to have to deal with at the funeral.” I told her. She put her hand on mine. “Anything I can do to help?” she asked. I took her hand in mine and brought it up to kiss the back of it. “You’re already doing everything perfectly, Pet.” I told her. She smiled and pulled her hand from mine. “Remember when we made this drive before we were married?” she asked. I nodded. She shifted in her seat to face me. “Remember when poor baby Petra got so nervous that she needed Daddy’s special pacifier to calm her down?” she asked seductively. I raised an eyebrow. “We didn’t have anyone else in the car with us back then.” I reminded her. She shrugged. “Not like it’s anything they both haven’t seen before.” she said. I felt myself stiffen inside my pants. “I’m driving, Pet.” I told her. She nodded. “And that sign says there’s a rest area in five miles.” she said, leaning over to put her face in my lap. “How about if I can make you cum before we get there you get the girls their own room tonight and thank me with a night of extra special attention.” she said, fingers teasing my hardness as they expertly danced across it. I swallowed hard. “And if you can’t?” I asked. She shrugged. “You decide.” she said, unzipping my pants and coaxing my manhood out to lightly kiss it. I focused on the road as her mouth took all of me into it, thinking of everything I possibly could to keep my mind off of how amazing what she was doing felt. Her tongue danced around my shaft like a stripper on a pole and I gripped the steering wheel and sighed contentedly. “Am I doing it right, Daddy?” she asked without fully taking me from her mouth. I nodded. “Yes, baby, you’re doing a very good job.” I grunted. Her diaper rustled as she happily wiggled her bottom and bobbed her head up and down rhythmically in my lap. With a mile to go I lost the game and tried to catch my breath as she dutifully licked me clean, tucked me back into my pants and zipped them up before returning to her seat to buckle herself in, wiping the edges of her mouth and sucking her fingers clean. “Thank you, Pet, I needed that.” I told her dreamily. She nodded. “My pleasure, Daddy.” she said, her hand gently pressing against the front of her diaper as she softly rubbed herself through it. “I’m going to stop at that rest area.” I said. “Maybe give you a little preview of tonight’s festivities?” I offered. She shook her head. “I wanna be surprised.” she said. “But, I have always wanted to try something.” she added. “Do tell.” I urged. She pointed at the sign for the rest area. “Pull off and I’ll tell you.” she said coyly. I pulled off and parked at the end of the empty lot and shut off the car. “Alright, what have you always wanted to try?” I asked. She looked back at Rochelle and Ducky and unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned over to me. “I want you to pee in my diaper.” she whispered into my ear. I turned and looked at her in surprise. “What has gotten into you, young lady?” I asked teasingly. She covered her mouth to suppress a giggle and turned and opened her door, slipping out, closing it behind her carefully and moving around the front of the car to my side where she opened the door, standing there in just her diaper and shirt. I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned to get out of the car, standing beside her. “How do we do this?” I asked. She shrugged. “I guess you just put your dick in the top and go?” she said uncertainly. “Language.” I warned. She rolled her eyes. “That ship has sailed, Daddy.” she said. I nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, it’s hard to keep dirty words out of your mouth when you do stuff like what you just did.” I agreed. She looked around and unzipped my pants again, guiding me out of them and into the top of her diaper, her pose awkward to make it work. “Ready?” I asked. She nodded and held her breath. For a moment my shy bladder kept me from going, but with a sigh I closed my eyes and started going, opening my eyes as Petra gasped. “What? What’s wrong?” I asked. She shook her head and bit her lip. “Don’t stop.” she practically growled, eyes closed. I emptied myself into her diaper and put myself away and zipped up as I watched her rub the front of her swollen diaper with one hand and gently fondle her breast with the other. “Pet, you should probably get back in the car to do that.” I urged. She whimpered and shook her head. “I want to do it now.” she said. I looked around at the empty lot and sighed. “I don’t want to get arrested, Pet.” I warned. Her eyes opened and she sighed, stopping herself as she sullenly trudged to around to her side of the car, getting in and gingerly sitting down to avoid leaking all over the seat. “You are going to have your work cut out for you tonight, mister.” she told me as I got back into the car. “Someone’s mighty bossy all of a sudden.” I said. She nodded. “Mommy needs release and she’ll take that shit by force if need be.” she said. “Not getting any ideas about a power shift I hope.” I said as I backed out of the parking space and headed back to the freeway. She shrugged. “I won, didn’t I?” she asked. I nodded. “You did, but Daddy is always in charge.” I reminded her. She smirked. “Yes, Daddy.” she said with a little wink as she leaned back and resumed her personal massage session. “Don’t leak on my seat.” I warned. She looked over at me and smiled. “Daddy?” she asked. “Yes, Pet?” I asked. “I love you, but please shut the fuck up and let me cum.” she said in the sweetest and most affectionate voice before she closed her eyes and went back to her task. I sighed. “I love you too.” I said and kept driving to the soundtrack of snoring in the back and the rustling of Petra’s diaper mixed with her soft whimpers and moans. To Be Continued...

?

VIII “Jumbled” I opened my eyes slowly and regretted it immediately, the light in the room stabbing through my eyes into my brain with the searing fire of, well, the Sun. My vision was blurry and I struggled to focus, blinking repeatedly as I winced and lifted my hand to shield my eyes. Dark blobs filled my vision, a cacophony of overlapping sounds and voices rushing into my mind rather than my ears, some familiar and others not. I managed to get onto all fours and try and get up onto my feet from there, finding my muscles to be practically liquid, betraying me the instant I tried to get up from my crawling position. I heard snickering, building into a giggle and then into a full blown, uproarious laugh. Though I was alone in the lab and it was just a sound, I was sure I heard malicious intent behind it. I heard clicking, the kind of echoing clack that comes from high heels on the floor of a courthouse hallway, bouncing off of the walls and ceiling to sound like it was coming from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. “Who’s there?!” I called out, squinting to try and focus my vision on the dark blobs that wiggled and jiggled just out of my ability to make them clearer. “Baby.” the voice that came from whoever was walking around and laughing said, producing a sound that was something between a choked wheeze and that thing that kids sometimes do where they talk while sucking in their breath and it sent a chill down my spine when I heard it. The word stretched on for several seconds, drawing out each syllable until I could hear a small rattle in the vocal chords by the time it finished speaking. “Who the fuck is here?!” I screamed, my voice sounding far less intimidating than I was trying for, coming out more on the verge of terrified tears. Click. Click. Click. The steps came closer. My vision cleared enough for me to make out a feminine shape, a dress of some kind stopping just above the high heels I’d been hearing. “I don’t know how you got in here, but if you don’t leave I’m calling the cops!” I shouted, reaching for my phone beside me and finding thick shag carpeting instead, making me look down to see that the floor I was on wasn’t the floor of my lab. Click. Click. Click. The steps came closer. “Disgusting.” the voice said, the distortion faded to allow the feminine nature of it to be heard more clearly. I felt my stomach lurch as I recognized the voice. “Mama?” I asked, my voice coming out small like that of a child. She was standing in front of me looking down, hands on hips, her face a blur that wiggled like the blobs I’d been seeing before. I smelled her perfume, the flowery scent with a hint of citrus that made her hugs seem more soothing when I was little. I could see now that she was wearing an outfit similar to that of a 1950’s housewife, apron tied around the waist over her powder blue dress, white high heels tapping impatiently before me. The distortion returned to her voice, amplified by several octaves, making me cover my ears and cry out in pain. From the corner of my eye I another blurry figure appear and the disjointed sound of what I perceived to be laughter came again, this time at a higher pitch than the figure in front of me had produced. I squinted to try and bring the second figure into focus, managing to barely make out that it was another feminine form, though shorter and thinner than the first. The not quite laughter but obviously intended to be laughter filled my mind, bringing a headache and an overwhelming feeling of dizziness that I turned and tried to crawl away to rid myself of by putting distance between us. The shag carpeting between my fingers dissolved a few feet away from where I started and was replaced by the cool, slick feeling of linoleum. As I looked down saw the floor and recognized it as the kitchen floor of the house I grew up in, the burnt umber hue with flecks of black and cream in it that always made it look kind of dirty even when it was freshly mopped. Another distorted voice came from behind me, the words garbled into the asphyxiated wheezing sound that these things made, though this one was decidedly male in it’s deeper timber. The lighter, more feminine voice that had come just before I’d crawled away began after it, they were talking to one another. I turned to look over my shoulder and saw the two figures standing in what looked to be an amalgamation of the living room of the house I grew up in and my lab, the house parts faded like an old photograph and the lab parts seeming to be almost superimposed over them in a brighter, but almost transparent way as though they were laid on top of one another like an overhead projector was being used to show both at the same time. “...diapers.” the male voice said after several unintelligible sounds. The female figure stood in front of the male figure and extended its arm to the male’s shoulder and made a series of sounds of its own ending with “daddy?”. The male figure’s head jostled, the features still a blur as though someone had painted these people and smeared a finger over the faces. He reached out and picked the female figure up and they embraced before they merged entirely and melted into the floor, the room they’d inhabited evaporating as they did leaving me staring at nothing, my eyes straining to find something in the inky darkness left behind. “Lina!” came Tim’s voice, bring my lab back around me between blinks, the floor beneath me caked and smeared with piss, shit, and vomit as I lay beside my phone once more. I groaned. “Daddy?” I asked weakly, pawing at the black rectangle beside me. I heard a quiet pair of voices somewhere behind me and rolled over slowly. Where my lab should’ve been was now a tunnel, devoid of light save for an almost pinpoint of dimness miles ahead, moving closer as though I were driving toward it. The dimness grew slightly brighter the closer it got to me or I got to it, and I began to see two figures once again, their distorted voices engaged in an awful sounding clash of choked wheezes and whines, my mind registering it as an argument as they got close enough for me to make out that I was looking at the backs of their heads and what I’d believed to be their bodies were just dark forms without movement as the previous forms had been, they were sitting in front of me. “Lina!” Tim’s voice called out again making me roll back over. My lab and phone were gone, replaced by a vast room that looked like it had been created in watercolor, the features of the room muddled and fuzzy. I heard crying, one person and then two and then four and it grew exponentially from their until a cacophony of anguished sobs overlapped in my mind until the sound lost all meaning and just became noise, like static on a television. Click. Click. Click. The high heels approached. The sound the woman made was obviously angry, but also hysterical with what I felt was sorrow, not that anything could’ve been gleaned from the lack of words, but my mind and heart felt anguish as she droned on at or near me, my eyes still unable to make anything out about her beyond some of her outfit. “I can’t understand you!” I cried out pleadingly, wishing she would make sense. Click. Click. Click. The high heels receded, taking with them the watercolor expanse they inhabited. The soft scent of baby powder filled my nose and I felt something moving me onto my back, realizing as I looked up that they were hands, the thin fingers resting on my knees connected to nothing more than the ether around me for a moment until the rest of the figure formed from them to become the feminine figure I’d seen with the male one from my place in the kitchen. “Poor baby.” the young woman’s voice said, her tone pitying and sympathetic. I tried desperately to make out her face but every time I got close to doing so there was a glint of light and all the progress I’d managed to make was reset, repeating a dozen times in rapid succession until I felt her parting my legs and heard the rip of the tapes of my diaper. “Please, I don’t understand what’s happening, who are you?!” I cried out. I felt her hands working between my legs, clinical and efficient but with something else, a warmth as though she were making sure to impart love where possible as she cared for me, like Tim did. The glint of light filled my vision as I stared up into the swirling void that was her face and as the brightness cleared I could hear her crying, her voice returned to the unintelligible sounds I’d grown accustomed to hearing, she was frightened and quiet, and suddenly I felt a deep sense of sadness and began to cry, trying to reach up to wipe the tears from my eyes but finding my arms immobilized by some unseen force. “What’s wrong, what’s happening?!” I called out to her. A bloodcurdling scream filled my mind and everything went dark and my heart raced and my breath came out in shallow, ragged gasps and pants as my lab returned and I saw my phone beside me once more. “Daddy, I don’t know what’s happening!” I bawled. The black rectangle was dark and silent. I reached out for it and pulled it closer to me, squeezing it to press the power button on the side with no result making me realize that whatever was happening to me had been going on long enough for my half charged phone to now be completely dead. I dropped it to the floor with a sigh and once again tried to roll onto my side to try and get up, making it to all fours once more, or for the first time, my sense of what was real and what wasn’t completely shot at this point. I rose slowly, wincing at the throbbing in my head and the severe discomfort in my diaper area and braced myself against the nearest wall as I waited for the room to stop spinning. I plugged my phone in and shambled slowly to the bathroom, using every wall and piece of furniture I came into contact with to keep my balance until I reached my destination and turned on the faucet in the tub before gingerly removing my leaking, disgusting diaper, doing the best I could to clean myself up enough to finally lower myself into the tub, whimpering at the sting of the hot water on my diaper rash irritated flesh. “What the fuck was all of that?” I wondered to myself as I plugged the drain and let the warm water slowly envelope my body. I didn’t want to think about any of it, afraid that doing so would bring the awful visions back, but at the same time I couldn’t stop thinking about them, wanting so desperately to fit the pieces together to have them make sense, if any sense could be made of them. I closed my eyes and sighed as I gently massaged my aching head. The young girl’s voice from earlier broke the silence in the bathroom. “Such naughty language for such a little girl.” she chided in mock disappointment, her tone playful, a smile in her voice. My eyes shot open and my body jerked in surprise sending water splashing out onto the floor as I stared up at her. She shook her head softly. “Leaking all over the place as always.” she said, bending down to mop up the water with a towel that she then folded to kneel on beside the tub. I stared at her, blinking and rubbing my eyes like a disbelieving cartoon character. “What are you doing taking a bath by yourself anyway?” she asked, reaching into the water for the washcloth, bringing it up and wringing it out as she brought it around behind me and began to lightly rub my shoulders and neck with it. “I thought Baby Lina was too little for big girl things.” she cooed, smiling at me widely, her braces glinting softly in the florescent light of the bathroom. I swallowed hard and felt myself peeing beneath the water as I took in her features. Her green eyes looked at me with warmth and love, her auburn hair fell to just above her shoulders as her arm moved behind me to gently clean my body. She was absolutely beautiful, just as Tim had described, looking enough like me to make me feel a little jealous of his choosing of her when he had me. “Katie?” I asked. She smiled and nodded. “Yes, sweetie?” she asked. I shook my head. “No, I mean, that’s you’re name, right?” I clarified. She chuckled and tussled my hair playfully. “Can you spell, ‘Katie’, sweetie?” she asked, talking to me as though I were a small child still learning my letters. “How are you here?” I asked. “How am I seeing you?” I clarified, realizing that she wasn’t there but was just another of whatever I’d experienced earlier. She pouted. “Is Baby Lina asking where people come from?” she asked. “Don’t you know about the stork?” she teased, reaching out to tickle my tummy. I wiggled away from her thin fingers, the same fingers that had changed me earlier and the same tone of voice that I’d heard talking to the male figure. “It was Tim!” I exclaimed. She shook her head. “No, baby, Tim isn’t the stork.” she said. “Tim is-” she blushed and hid a smile. “Tim is my very good friend, remember.” she said. I sighed. “I know that Tim is, was your boyfriend or Daddy or whatever, but you’re dead and none of this is real.” I told her. If she was listening or understood me, she didn’t show it. “C’mon, Baby Lina, it’s getting close to bedtime.” she said, reaching down beneath the water to unplug the drain. “Katie!” came the older woman’s voice, the voice of my mother. Katie turned her head. “Yeah!” she called out. “Can you help Lina out of the tub, it’s almost her bedtime!” my mother called out. Katie smiled at me and winked. “Already on it, mom!” she called out. My mouth hung open as I stared at her, my mind swirling. She reached out and gently closed my mouth with her hand before leaning forward and kissing my forehead. “You’ll catch flies if you keep your mouth open like that, sweetie.” she said with a smile. “Why did you call her ‘mom’?” I asked. The space where Katie had been was empty after I blinked, the tub gurgling softly as the last of the water flowed down the drain leaving me wet and cold and confused. To Be Continued...

God, you're so much more organized and diligent than I am. I'm juggling two stories right now and alternate working on them on my days off and post them immediately after I finish writing them unless I've already done a post for that story that week, unless it gets buried to another page and then I bump it with a new chapter. I tend to get anxious if I sit on something for extended periods of time, so I tend to write and post the same day or close to so I'm not over analyzing things. Not the smartest or most efficient way of doing things, but I never said I was smart or efficient. I'll post the next chapter next week then and see how everyone feels after the dust settles from that. Thanks for the tips and feedback, I appreciate it!

So, the thing is that this is not a time travel story, I know I said that before and the characters said that before, but then I had things play out that made it seem like time travel, but I am one thousand percent serious when I say that there is no time travel in this story. Rather than speak on what's happening, I'm going to pose a question and see where that leads you: Why did we switch narrators mid story? We started with Tim and now we're seeing things from Caronlina's perspective...interesting...or not, maybe not... I'm done with the next chapter and it's going to make things so much more confusing, but hopefully interesting. I tweaked a few things after I responded to you earlier, because I thought about what I was doing and where things were going and realized that my initial plans were going to work out fine but just to cover my bases I cleared up some wording, nothing major. I CAN post it today, but that would mean the next chapter won't be up until the end of next week sometime and given the nature of the coming chapter I don't envy anyone that's eager to continue reading it for having to wait. Today is my last day off before work starts back up again and that means Thursday is the earliest I'd post the next chapter if I wait to do so. Wait or just go today? I'm easy either way.

? also, +1 for your location, Ten is my Doctor of choice. I've gone back and forth on whether or not to be honest here or try and BS my way through it and I decided that honesty is the best policy, so, I came up with the concept of the memory machine and what it could do, up to and including patchworking memories together, and ran with it without addressing the issues you've brought up here. Good on you for thinking of these things and bringing them up, by the way. So, knowing that I maybe did a bit of a hack job when it comes to the details, I feel like addressing your concerns outside of the story would spoil the story, taking the punch out of what's happening for the sake of answering your questions. I will say that you've raised some very good concerns and I'm committed to, given my level of ability, trying to make those concerns make sense while also keeping the course of the story as I see it flowing, if that makes sense. ^This was what I intended, more or less. Maybe it didn't read the way I wanted it to, which is completely on me, but her spending the majority of her time in the cobbled together fantasy memory as an adult baby sleeping was what caused the problems she's experiencing now. I'm not a sleep scientist or any kind of medical doctor, but a Google search told me that while we sleep the brain works to process information and create memories, so, to me, her sleeping in that space with the super tweaked machine hooked up to her in the real world meant that her brain was creating memories and rewriting things based on where she was and what she was experiencing which obviously is not a great thing to have happen. I am pleased as punch, do people still say stuff like that? that you guys are picking things up that I both did and didn't factor into the story, it's both really cool and embarrassing because I'm like "dang, how did I not think of that?!" but it's cool because this is how I do better/try not to disappoint people that are reading this with an expectation that things make sense and don't turn out with giant plot holes that leave you unsatisfied. I love talking about things I write with people for the exact reason that we've seen here, I'm not perfect by any means and having however many eyes and minds looking at things and discovering that something doesn't make sense helps me see my trouble spots with story telling. Also, this is a high risk concept in the sense that it can very easily be nonsensical garbage and I'm committed to avoiding that if at all possible. Thanks, guys, please feel free to keep the conversation going and debate with me or each other, just keep it friendly and we can have some fun and learn some stuff together.

Time travel and causality are something that's incredibly fascinating to me but the sheer ease of which someone can completely screw up a narrative using them makes me very worried about sticking the landing with this one, but I appreciate the vote of confidence! Thanks so much for taking the time to read my story and let me know what you think of it, I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Chapter Fifteen Daddy Of The Decade “What was Grandma like?” Rochelle asked. I felt a swell of love for her at her calling my mom ‘Grandma’ and then a pang of sorrow that she’d never gotten to build a relationship with her to allow her to actually call her that to her face, which I knew my mom would’ve adored. I looked back at Rochelle in the rearview mirror, her hair done into little puff balls on either side of her head, her dark eyes looking at me with curiosity in her gaze. “She was a very nice woman.” I told her. “Would you like to hear a funny story about her?” Petra asked as she turned to look back at the girls in the backseat, getting a nod from Rochelle that I could see and an assumed one from Ducky. “Before Mommy and Daddy got married, Daddy took Mommy to meet Grandma and Grandpa and Mommy was very nervous.” she began. I reached over and patted her thigh, looking back at Rochelle in the mirror. “Mommy wet almost as much as you do on our drive to Grandma and Grandpa’s house.” I told her, smiling at the giggles from both girls and the blush and playful pout from Petra. She cleared her throat. “It’s true, Mommy tinkles a bunch when she’s nervous and she didn’t want to have an accident in the car so she wore a diaper.” she explained. “When we got to the town where Grandma and Grandpa live we stopped so Mommy could put on panties and when we got to their house, Grandma hugged Mommy so hard she actually tinkled in her panties!” she exclaimed in the kind of exaggerated shock that one uses when talking to little ones. “You never told me that.” I said softly. She shrugged. “Listen to the story.” she playfully commanded, smiling at me before she turned back to the still giggling girls. “Mommy had put a pad in her panties just in case and never told Daddy about it, BUT,” she exclaimed, her eyes going wide as she paused for dramatic effect. “Grandma found out about the tinkle pad when she caught Mommy sneaking out to throw it away later that night.” she explained. I looked back at Rochelle and smiled at her sitting forward in her seat, entranced with Petra’s story, her little hands cupping her little chin as she listened intently. “What happened?!” she asked eagerly. “Well, she pulled Mommy aside and put her hand on Mommy’s shoulder and apologized for intruding in Mommy’s business, but wanted to make sure everything was alright with Mommy.” Petra continued, a smile on her face as she wiped her eyes quickly, “Grandma said that she needed to make sure her future daughter wasn’t sick or hurt or anything bad.” she said, her voice thick with emotion as she held back tears. “She was instantly the most loving and sincere woman Mommy had ever met, and Mommy told her everything about herself that night while Daddy and Grandpa caught up in the garage.” she said. “Did you tell her about Daddy being Daddy?” Ducky asked. Petra looked over at me, blushed and nodded softly. “Nothing felt off limits, she was so disarming and easy to talk to.” she confessed. To say that I was surprised was an understatement, I mean, my parents knew about mine and Petra’s dynamic from, what I thought had been my mom accidentally opening the door to the nursery when they’d come to visit us after we’d gotten married and moved into our house, but now I was learning that my mom had known about everything before we’d even gotten married. “And she could keep a secret.” I told Rochelle, looking over at Petra to let her know that this was all news to me, placing my hand on her thigh again to let her know that I wasn’t mad for her not telling me the truth. “What did she say when you told her all that stuff?” Rochelle asked. Petra smiled and wiped her eyes again swallowing hard. “She took my hand in hers and smiled at me and thanked me for opening up to her and sharing my true self with her.” she said. “And then she told me that Daddy was a very lucky man to have found such a wonderful girl and that she considered herself lucky to have met me.” she added, turning back around to grab a tissue from the glove compartment to wipe her eyes and blow her nose. “Does Grandpa know all that stuff?” Ducky asked. I nodded and told them the story of the nursery being discovered, them giggling at me explaining that my dad had looked at me and asked nervously if it was mine or Petra’s. Petra giggled. “He wondered because Daddy used to wet his bed until he was a teenager and Grandpa thought maybe it had made him into a big baby.” she explained. I shot her a glance as peals of little giggles erupted from behind me. “I’ll take the spanking, I don’t care, that’s a funny story.” she said between snorting giggles that brought more giggles. Despite myself I began to laugh, remembering my mom clutching onto my arm, stroking it softly as she faced my dad. “Henry, it’s not our business!” she’d chided. Once the air was cleared and the truth had come out, my dad had hugged Petra and jokingly apologized for trying to give away her room to me to which my mother had reassured her that it was quite an adorable room, to which Petra had turned about seventeen shades of crimson at as she nervously giggled. “Besides, read the room, Daddy, no one here can judge you for wetting the bed when you were growing up.” Petra reminded me. Rochelle nodded. “I still wet the bed, Daddy!” she proudly declared. “Me too!” Ducky agreed. Petra winked at me. “Me three.” she said. I nodded. “Alright, it’s not a big deal, you’re all right.” I said. “No spanking for Mommy.” I announced. “At least not for that.” I said just loud enough for Petra to hear. ******** I exited the freeway at the first whiff of a messy diaper, no one making any attempt to claim ownership of their deed and pulled into the large parking lot of one of those mega rest stops that are as big as a box store and pride themselves on clean bathrooms and good prices for gas and food. “Who’s stinky?” I asked as I parked the car. Petra shook her head when I looked at her, Rochelle was asleep and Ducky was conspicuously silent. I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car, stretching before closing it behind me and opened the door to the backseat. “C’mon, sweetie.” I said as I knelt down and unbuckled Ducky’s seatbelt for her and grabbed the diaper bag as I took her hand in mine, closing the door behind her once she’d stepped out. “I could use a change too.” Petra said as she got out of the car and did her own stretching. I nodded. “I’m sure Rochelle is soaked by now too.” I said. “I can change Ducky here if you want.” Petra offered. I shook my head. “Better to handle this job inside.” I told her. I went to Petra and kissed her, “I think Ducky could use some Daddy time.” I told her. “Keep an eye on Rochelle and I’ll change you both when we get back.” I said. I led Ducky to the entrance and greeted the workers behind the registers when they greeted us and headed back to the bathrooms, entering one of the one’s meant for “families” where I unlatched the clasp on the changing table that held it closed on the wall and set the diaper bag down on it once it was flat. Standing awkwardly, her thumb in her mouth, her green eyes sparkling under the fluorescent lighting in the bathroom, Ducky was every bit as beautiful and adorable as Rochelle and Petra, but had only recently, with Petra’s “help”, allowed herself to be dressed in more feminine attire. Where the little half Asian and half African American girl with the caramel colored skin would’ve worn jeans and a t-shirt, she was now dressed in a modest length skirt with light purple and black plaid checkers on it, her white tights beneath showing her skinny legs and a light gray sweater over a white blouse top, the chunky, little girl styled black patent leather shoes both tied the outfit together while also dropping her assumed age by a few years. I knelt down in front of her and brushed a strand of her dark hair aside before fixing the white cat head hair clip that kept strands like that from covering her face. “Hey, pretty girl.” I said with a smile as I softly stroked her cheek with my thumb. “Ready to get out of that yucky diaper?” I asked. She nodded and pulled her thumb from her mouth. “I’m not pretty, Daddy.” she quietly protested. I nodded. “Oh, but you are!” I told her as I removed her sweater, unbuttoning the little gold trimmed buttons for her, folding the garment up neatly and laying it beside the diaper bag. “You’re one of the three prettiest girls I know!” I added. She shook her head. “Nuh uh!” she declared. “Yes huh!” I told her as I unbuckled her shoes for her and unclasped her skirt, helping her step out of it to fold it up and place it on top of the sweater, turning back to slip the blouse top off over her head, leaving her in just her tights and diaper. “You think so?” she asked. I nodded. “I know so, sweetie.” I said as I picked her up and sat her down on the changing table, laying her back so I could remove her tights and set them with the other clothes. She chewed her thumb as she moved to help me get her tights off. “Daddy?” she asked. Getting the necessary items from the diaper bag I turned to look down at her. “Yes, baby?” I asked. She wiggled and smiled bashfully. “I love you and you’re a good Daddy.” she told me, sitting up to peck my cheek before laying back down. I bent down and kissed her forehead. “I love you too, Ducky, you’re a very good baby.” I told her. “Daddy?” she asked as I went to work cleaning her up. “Yes, baby?” I asked. “Can we play pretend on this trip?” she asked softly. I looked up in confusion at her. “What do you mean, sweetie?” I asked. She chewed her thumb more and shrugged softly. “I dunno, like maybe if I wanted to pretend to be your daughter like how we were talking yesterday.” she said quietly, her thumb moving more and more into her mouth by fractions of an inch as she spoke. I sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, Ducky, but we can’t do that.” I told her bluntly. Her expression was wrought with stunned sorrow. “Oh.” she said as her thumb planted firmly into her mouth. “Because you already are my daughter, silly girl!” I cooed, tickling her sides playfully to get her to start giggling. She had already started to cry and abruptly stopped, choking on her own spit as she began to giggle at my tickling. “That was mean, Daddy!” she exclaimed with a pout. “I thought you were serious!” she said, wiping the remnants of budding tears from her eyes. I kissed her tummy. “Ducky, you live in my house, you nurse from my wife, you sleep in our bed, I change you, feed you, bathe you, if you don’t think you’re already a daughter to me then I don’t know what else I can do to show you.” I explained. She was quiet for a long time as I finished getting a clean diaper on her. “Can I have the paper like Rochelle?” she asked sheepishly. I pulled her up into a seated position. “Is that really what you want?” I asked. She looked at me with those sparkling green eyes and smiled. “Yes please, Daddy.” she said with a nod. “Can I ask why?” I asked. She raised her arms to allow me to slip the sickeningly pink onesie Petra had packed for her onto her, spreading her legs to allow me to snap it closed. “Mommy’s story earlier made me think about how disappointed my real mom is with me and my life choices, great shame to my family and all that.” she said, lifting her legs one at a time to let me put the frilly ankle socks on her feet. “It hurts a lot to not have a parent love you for who you are and even though I would marry Mommy in a second because of the way I feel about her as a grownup,” she explained, avoiding looking up at me as I pulled the light purple shortalls from the diaper bag and began unfolding them, “I wouldn’t trade having a Mommy and Daddy that love me no matter what for anything in the world.” she said, finally looking up at me as I guided her feet into the legs of the shortalls. “Ducky,” I started as I lifted her up from the table and set her down on her feet as I finished putting the shortalls on her and buttoned the straps into place. “having the piece of paper that Rochelle has doesn’t do anything more than make you legally our daughter.” I explained as I knelt down and snapped the buttons on the inner thigh and crotch of her outfit. “Would that piece of paper make you feel more loved?” I asked. She shook her head. “And would it mean that you were any more a member of our family than you already are?” I asked. She shrugged. “It would be official.” she mumbled. I hugged her. “Sweetie, it’s a big decision that I don’t think any of us are ready to make right now.” I told her. She nodded. “I know, Daddy, but,” she hesitated and sighed but didn’t finish her thought. I pulled her away from me and looked into her eyes. “You can tell me anything, Ducky.” I reminded her. A tear rolled down her cheek. “I just,” she sniffled softly, “I guess I do need it to be official.” she confessed. “I hate feeling like you and Mommy are just telling me what I want to hear to keep me happy but you don’t really mean it and when you get tired of me you’ll send me away.” she hurriedly said as though the words were fire burning her mouth. I hugged her once again as she began sobbing and I picked her up and held her in my arms. “That would never, ever happen, Deandra.” I reassured her as I rubbed her back. “If you need it to be legal then we’ll make it legal once we get back home, okay?” I asked her. She clung to me as she sobbed. “You mean it?” she asked. “I do.” I told her. “But there will be rules.” I warned. She nodded. “No, you can’t blindly accept them, we’re going to sit down as a family and go over what you being our daughter will mean and both you and Petra have to agree to them.” I told her. “This is her decision too.” I reminded her. She sniffled and nodded as I set her down. “Yes, Daddy.” she said softly, the hint of a grin forming as her thumb went into her mouth. ******** Petra was all smiles when we returned to the car, Ducky climbing into the backseat beside her as she held Rochelle while the smaller girl nursed. Her smile faded when she saw Ducky’s puffy, red eyes. “What happened, baby girl?” she asked, reaching out to stroke Ducky’s cheek. Ducky shook her head. “I’m okay, Mommy.” she said softly around her thumb, leaning over to rest her head on Petra’s shoulder. Petra looked up at me as I knelt down to buckle Ducky in. Our eyes met and I smiled. “Nothing to worry about, we just revisited the adoption conversation.” I calmly told her. Petra turned her head and kissed the top of Ducky’s head. “Sweetie, why were you crying?” she asked. Ducky shrugged. “Deandra, Mommy asked you a question.” Petra warned calmly. Ducky pulled her thumb from her mouth. “It’s dumb.” she said, absently kicking her feet as she stared at them. “Well, it couldn’t have been too dumb if it made you cry.” Petra offered. Ducky sighed. “I need the paper.” she said. “I need to know that you and Daddy want me forever.” she added. Petra pulled Rochelle from her breast and helped the girl sit back up and reached over to unbuckle Ducky’s seatbelt so she could guide the girl down to her other breast once she’d covered up the first one and uncovered the other. She softly stroked Ducky’s hair as the girl latched on and nursed and smiled down at her. “In a million, billion years, I never would’ve imagined that my sister, best friend, girlfriend, secret wife, and daughter would’ve all been the same person and would’ve turned out to be you.” she explained in her most maternal and soothing voice, the one that she’d instantly created when we adopted Rochelle. “It hurts my heart that you have doubts about our love for you that you would need a silly piece of paper to confirm what you should already know by now, but you’ve always been a silly girl, and a needy baby,” she teased, patting the girl’s bottom softly, “and if you need that piece of paper then we’ll get you that piece of paper.” she said. “I told her we’d talk about rules for how that would work once we got back home.” I said as I opened the other door and plucked Rochelle out, setting the little girl on my hip. Petra shook her head. “She knows what she’s giving up and what she’s asking me to give up to make this happen.” she told me. Ducky started to pull away but Petra stopped her, holding her to her breast gently with a hand on the back of her head. Petra shook her head and smiled down at her. “No more talk.” she said, her tone reassuring and loving. “We’ll adopt you as soon as we’re back home, but we’ll just live the life until then, okay?” she asked. Ducky nodded softly. I could see they were both on the verge of tears. “Hey, it’s Rochelle’s turn to go inside for a change, so I’ll give you two some alone time.” I said before closing the door of the car. ******** Petra had packed a pastel yellow onesie with a cartoon bumblebee on the left breast appliqued on it, a light blue denim overall, jumper...thing, basically overall straps connected to a skirt, and if I could’ve, I would’ve eaten that little cutie right up once I got her changed and dressed. “Aren’t you just the most precious little girl!” I cooed as I picked her up and cuddled her while I disposed of her messy diaper and sat her on the counter to wash my hands. She giggled and kicked her legs. “Fank yoo, Daddy.” she said in her melodious little voice. “Is someone a very little girl today?” I asked. She nodded. “I’ll still drive when it’s my turn though.” she assured me, shifting back to her normal adult voice. I dried my hands and picked her up once more, supporting her butt with my forearm as I picked up the pacifier clipped to the strap of her outfit and popped it into her mouth. “What kind of Daddy would I be if I let a very little girl drive a great big grownup car?” I teased, tickling her tummy to produce a giggle from her as she wiggled in my arms. She settled back down and draped her arms over my shoulders, her head resting on my shoulder beside her arm. “Can I get you a present, Daddy?” she asked. I thought for a second. “Daddy doesn’t need anything, baby, he has everything he could ever need in you and Mommy and Ducky.” I told her. She made a pleasant murmuring sound. “You need this though.” she said with a little decisive nod. “Oh yeah?” I asked as I opened the restroom door and headed out into the main building. “Uh huh.” she said with another little nod. I bounced her softly as I walked to the front door with her. “Well, if you say I need it, then I guess I need it.” I told her. When we reached the car Ducky was seated again and Petra was wiping the girl’s eyes with a tissue that she then held to her nose for Ducky to blow when commanded to, after a boogie check and a kiss on the forehead Petra scooted to the door and got out of the car, standing beside me as I set Rochelle down in her seat and buckled her in. “I know you have a rule about poopy changes in the car, but I don’t feel comfortable leaving them alone.” Petra whispered to me. I nodded. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.” I told her. “Get in and I’ll pull around someplace a little more private.” I said as I started to walk around the car. She grabbed my arm to stop me. “No spanking for telling your bedwetting secret.” she said. “Public humiliation instead.” she said. “Please.” she added quietly. I raised an eyebrow. “You sure?” I asked. She nodded. “Without Ducky to scratch my itches, you’re going to be a very busy Daddy until I get her out of my system.” she explained. I smirked. “Pervert.” I teased, taking her hand and leading her to the back of the car where I opened the back door and set the diaper bag down, getting the plastic changing mat out and spreading it out in the large open area between the luggage. “Do you need a safe word?” I asked. She shook her head as she climbed up into the back and situated herself on the mat. “No, but as long as you don’t have your way with me we should be good.” she said. I nodded and began undressing her, removing her shoes and socks and then her jeans and went to work changing her messy diaper, taking my time to tease her under the guise of thoroughness, getting her pacifier from the diaper bag to stifle her increasingly loud pleasure sounds before I got a fresh diaper taped on her. “See that trash can?” I said, pointing to a large can about a hundred and fifty feet away. She nodded. “Go throw that yucky diaper away for Daddy in that.” I commanded as I packed everything up and slipped her shoes back onto her feet before pulling her out and standing her up in front of me. Her eyes went wide as she looked over at the can and then back to me, looking down at herself in only her diaper and t-shirt. “One.” I warned, beaming proudly as she whimpered and turned to toddle off to the trashcan. When she got back to the car I stopped her from getting into the front seat. “I think you’d be more comfortable with the other babies, don’t you?” I asked, reaching behind her to pat her bottom firmly to make a loud thud with each hit. She flushed and climbed into the backseat, crawling over Rochelle’s lap to take her place between our daughters. I leaned in and buckled her seatbelt for her and fished into the small refrigerated pack we had with bottles and water and snacks and pulled out an apple juice bottle for Rochelle and Ducky and a breast milk bottle for Petra. She glowered at me but just let her pacifier drop from her mouth to take the nipple of the offered bottle and began nursing just the same as the other girls. Once I got into the driver’s seat I moved the rearview mirror to look back at my angels, all changed, all dressed in more age appropriate clothing, all nourished with Mommy’s milk, and all mine and I smiled. “Good news, girls, Daddy won’t make any of you drive, you can all just relax or play or nap until we stop again, sound good?” I asked. Rochelle nodded, Ducky gave a thumbs up, and Petra smiled behind her bottle and blinked three times slowly and deliberately, a system we’d worked out for her to tell me she loved me without having to stop drinking a bottle or sucking one of the numerous things she might find lodged in her mouth at any given point of our marriage. I reached back and gave her knee and little squeeze to let her know I shared her feelings and pulled out of the parking lot to get back on the road. To Be Continued...

...I guess there might be some slight causality type issues... Not gonna lie, I would watch a movie of your harrowing journey.

VII “Troublemaker” A warm tickle alerted me to the fact that I was wetting myself, no warning ahead of the release or feeling of needing to go, just dry one moment and wet the next. I felt a rush of excitement welling up inside of me as the world rocketed away from my vision and I was thrown back to my lab, sitting in the chair connected to my machine once more. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.” I chanted excitedly to myself as I removed the head piece and leapt from the chair to my desk, looking at the data I’d collected from my experiment. I picked up my camera and hurried over to the tripod to set it up, turning it on and hitting record before taking a seat in the chair in front of it. “Test one sixty-seven has proven successful, adjusting the settings on the machine allowed me to merge two memories into one space.” I told the camera. “I took the memory of my sixteenth birthday and, using photos of my second birthday, manufactured a memory where I was still diapered and in a highchair for my sixteenth birthday.” I explained. “Confirmation was achieved by my mother wishing me a happy sixteenth birthday as she served me a plate of cake in my highchair.” I added. I suppressed a giddy giggle, maintaining my professional demeanor. “This proves that we can in fact manufacture memories for people, the ramifications for victims of abuse or trauma in early childhood, PTSD, Dementia and other debilitating brain disorders is simply astounding.” I said. “Further tests will be conducted and data will be saved for further research and testing.” I concluded, rising to turn the camera off. My mind was swimming with possibilities for what I could test with this new discovery, decades of memories were at my disposal, ripe for altering to fit whatever narrative I desired. I felt a pang of longing for Tim and brightened up almost immediately when the perfect memory came to mind sending me hurrying back to my computer to enter the parameters for the test. I stared at the ‘duration’ box and chewed my lip nervously, I’d only ever gone as long as an hour personally, and I’d let Tim go for a half hour, but those memories were normal, I was planning on messing with things in a big way, merging mental realities to create a living, breathing memory fantasy for myself. “Fuck it.” I thought to myself as I entered four hours into the box and submitted it, clicking ‘ok’ for the numerous warnings that popped up advising me against what I was planning. I opened up the folder of photo’s my mom had sent me and went to the folder of me as a one year old, taking in the scenery of each photo, the furniture in my nursery, the decorations in the house, my clothes, the diapers I wore, I drank everything in and committed it to my memory as I married it with the memory I’d chosen for this test. Over and over and over in my mind I played the memory and added pieces of my infancy to it until I felt that I had a strong enough memory created to get what I wanted out of the machine and hit ‘enter’ and hopped into the chair and slid the head piece on so I could close my eyes as the rushing sound of noise and voices whizzed past me. ******** The original memory wasn’t anything special to anyone but me. I was a week removed from my eighteenth birthday, preparing to head off to college in a few months, my parents were on an anniversary cruise and I was home alone. I’d settled into my room to watch a movie and relax and Tim had knocked on my window, having been locked out of his house with no one to call and no one coming home until the following day. I’d let him in and we spent the evening together watching the previously mentioned movie together on the couch and I’d fallen asleep with my head on his thigh, waking up some point later on in a panic that I’d fallen asleep without getting my nightly protection on. I hadn’t had an accident and Tim had fallen asleep as well, my stirring doing nothing to bring him awake and I just watched him sleep for a minute like some kind of crazed fangirl and kissed his cheek, my heart pounding in my chest at the image of him waking up to find me doing so and covered him up and went to bed, finding him gone the next morning with a note taped to my bedroom door that just read ‘Thanks for letting me sleep over.’. To me, it was one of the happiest memories I had of he and I together pre revealing all of our secrets to one another and entering a romantic relationship. It was something that I’d revisited in my mind theater when I needed to feel better or less lonely, the memory of him just sharing time with me and allowing me to fall asleep on him without any interruption or awkwardness. I choose to imagine he stroked my hair while I lay there, my eyes growing heavier as everything outside of that soft and tender touch faded away and my thoughts dimmed to be nothing more than a gentle descent into relaxed slumber. I’d opted to desecrate that memory, twist it into a perverted fantasy to immerse myself into the world I was planning on exploring once Tim came to live with me. Using the photo of my one year old self in my playpen in the living room as reference, I entered the “memory” in said playpen, a glance down at my body revealed it to be adult in size but infantile in dress, just as I’d intended. I was sporting the ultra fashionable rainbow horizontal striped onesie with Cheer Bear from the CareBears on the front of it in a little circle, her rainbow adorned tummy stuck out to proudly display the symbol as she held her arms out in a cheer, or for hugs or whatever she was doing. Beneath the snaps of the onesie was the thick padding of my diaper, all I could see was white through the gaps in the fabric but I hoped I’d managed to conjure a sized up baby diaper into existence. I looked around at the living room, everything decorated just as it had been in the photo I’d studied, a comically oversized motorized baby swing across the room, toys scattered around the playpen I was in as well as a few outside on the living room floor, the kitchen beyond holding the same highchair I’d been in during my earlier birthday memory. Everything was perfect so far and I looked over at the small mirror attached to the little plastic toy hanging on the side of the playpen, smiling at my eighteen year old self, my hair in little pigtails on either side of my head that lightly smacked against my head as I swished it back and forth, producing a giggle from me, much to my own surprise. “Who’s that pretty girl in the mirror?” his voice asked. My diaper warmed slightly, my continence still very much out of my control, as I looked up at him leaning over the side of the playpen. He was exactly as he had been all those years ago, handsome and strong but not muscular looking. He was thin and fit, the benefit of being a soccer player for many years, his smile bringing another spurt of warmth as I stared at him in awe of his handsomeness. “Can you say ‘Lina’?” he asked, his smile encouraging as he pointed to my reflection in the little mirror. I opened my mouth, my mind forming the words as it normally would, but the “word” that came out was nothing more than a soft babble, the kind of nonsensical string of sounds one would expect from a one year old, despite that one year old being eighteen. I felt a surge of panic at the realization that I couldn’t speak, my hopes of having a conversation with him while he took care of me dashed away in an instant. “Leeennnaaa.” he repeated, stretching each letter out to try and teach me how to say the four letter word. A very different four letter word was in my mind at that moment, the sheer embarrassment of him talking to me like I was exactly the kind of stupid baby I actually was making my cheeks flush as I looked away from him. He leaned down and hoisted me up to my feet with his hands beneath my armpits and quickly lifted me up and over the top of the playpen, his arms crossing beneath my butt to support me as I wrapped my arms and legs around him on instinct. “Don’t be shy, Lina, you’ll get it some day.” he said reassuringly as he carried me to the couch and sat down with me. I pouted unconsciously as he softly bounced me on his lap at the realization that I’d effectively removed the adult part of being an adult baby from the equation and made myself a giant, empty headed baby with a fully functioning adult behind the wheel, powerless to control anything for herself. I’d wanted him to babysit me, flirt with him during a diaper change and have some naughty fun in the prime of our young lives, but none of that was going to happen now and I was stuck here for four hours. I felt my bottom lip quivering as my vision blurred and I started crying, my emotions as out of my control as my potty training. “Aww, it’s okay, baby.” he said softly, retrieving the pacifier clipped to the front of my onesie and putting the bulb between my lips before he hugged me to him and rubbed my back in little circles. My diaper warmed anew as my sucking reflex kicked in immediately, calm washing over me as he rubbed my back and softly bounced me. Every touch and feeling was turned up to eleven for me, like I was high or every nerve in my body was on display with nothing to desensitize or dull the interaction, his bouncing of me was like me pleasuring myself in the tub with the shower head, his rubbing of my back was like being wrapped in a warm blanket while puppies licked my face and I pleasured myself in the tub with the shower head. I wasn’t aroused in the slightest, orgasm was the furthest thing from my mind, if my current form even knew what orgasms were, I was just supremely content and overloading on raw pleasure in its purest and most innocent form. “There, that’s better.” he whispered. I felt a pleasant tingle run down my scalp and spine as I rested my head on his chest, the calm, rhythmic beat of his heart filling me with warmth and bliss I’d never felt before. ‘Daddy’ and ‘love’ and ‘Lina’ tumbled around in my brain, not together at any point, more like one and then another and then another like flashes of subliminal messages within television static. I knew what I wanted to think and say but my real world mind was becoming entrenched in this infantile quagmire of my memory me’s mind, and I didn’t care even a little bit. “Are you ready for a nap, baby?” he asked rhetorically, standing up with a grunt as he shifted me in his arms and headed up the stairs with me. I wanted to struggle against him, to fight going down for a nap that I knew would run out my time here and put me back in my lab alone and missing him, but he was warm and strong and smelled so flipping good. I clung to him lazily, my muscles deciding to become spongy and useless as they ignored my commands. I tried to speak again but only managed a few gurgling noises stifled almost completely by the pacifier between my lips, a grunt of frustration following a moment later, the purpose of it forgotten almost as soon as the noise left my throat. “Right, change first then.” he whispered as he patted my bottom as we reached the top of the stairs. The patting felt dull through the thick diaper and onesie, but there was an almost sticky feeling as he pressed his hand against my seat over and over. Felt my toes wiggling as a wet giggle burbled up from behind my pacifier. “You think it’s funny to stick me with a poopy diaper before your nap, huh?” he asked, not expecting an answer. I smelled it only after he said the words and where I would’ve blushed and felt some kind of surprise at having messed myself without realizing it, I still felt the euphoria of being in his arms until I was on my back on the changing table looking up at him, my head lolling to the side to see the crib across the room and the toys on the brightly colored rug in front of it. I felt the snaps of the onesie pop as he tugged the fabric downward, bunching it up beneath me as he expertly pushed my butt up with a lift of my legs. He sighed. “Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you weren’t a baby?” he asked as he gathered up the changing supplies and set them beside my hip. I wanted to answer and then I didn’t want to, my eyes catching the mobile above my crib, the memory of the tinny music it produced as it slowly turned above me making my eyes feel heavy and a yawn escape me. “Would we be friends?” he asked as he ripped the tapes on the diaper and opened it. The cool air made me wiggle, the warmth of my used diaper returning briefly to catch a spurt of pee that came from the reaction to the air. He wiped me gently, clinically, paternally, ensuring I, the baby, was properly cleaned for her new diaper to be affixed to her before her nap. “More?” he asked, sighing again as he balled up the used diaper. I wasn’t really listening to him, I heard his voice, the deep and calming tone of it replacing whatever I’d been thinking about that had made me feel drowsy and felt my head turn again to see him unfolding a new diaper, the colorful Sesame Street characters on the front making me giggle and wiggle, his open palm on my chest gently holding me still as he lay the diaper down and lifted my legs to slip it beneath my bottom. “You know, in another world I’d be going crazy about this.” he confessed as he powdered my front and backside. “Girls in diapers are kind of a big turn on to me.” he continued as he brought the diaper up and taped it into place snugly. He smiled down at me as he pulled the onesie back down and snapped it closed. “But you’re just a cute little baby in a big girl body, aren’t you?” he asked as he picked me up once more, hugging me to him as he put the used diaper in the pail near the changing table. I was drifting in and out of sleep as we made our way to the crib, nothing but his warmth and calming presence registering to me. He lay me down and covered me up, kissing my forehead softly before pulling the side of the crib into place, standing up and winding the mobile, smiling down at me as the soft, tinny music filled the room. “In another world I’d probably marry you.” he whispered. “How could I not want to spend my life with someone so sweet and beautiful?” he wondered aloud to himself. He was there and gone with a wistful sigh between my heavy eyes being open and closed and opened again and I fell asleep without knowing or understanding anything about what he’d been saying. The “dreams” I had while I napped were a hodgepodge of memories jumbled up and spliced together in a scattered disarray of nonsense, I was in my lab in my playpen and young Tim was sitting in a chair watching me and smiling while Daddy Tim was undressing in the bedroom, standing beside normal me as she lay on the bed rubbing herself seductively for him. I blinked and my mind switched bodies and I found myself staring up at Daddy, my mouth watering as his cock bobbed for a moment as it escaped his lowering pants. Baby me was squatting in the playpen, somehow I knew what she was doing, and young Tim was patting her head softly and praising her in a distant, impossible to hear voice. ******** The lab returned around me as my eyes fluttered open at the sound of the real world rushing back to me and I removed the headpiece and sat forward on the chair, feeling the familiar sensation of a very full diaper beneath me. For a split second I felt like I wanted to cry, my brain recognizing that the feeling in my diaper was unpleasant and crying would make that go away once someone changed me and then my normal thoughts snapped into place and I shook the fog in my head away and rose to my feet to go change, my legs wobbling unsteadily, as I reached back to the arm of the chair to steady myself. I tried to take a step and felt zero stability and felt the urge to cry well up again as fear and uncertainty took hold of me. Lowering myself to the floor, I found those feelings evaporating as the safety of being on the floor on all fours filled me with ease and I crawled forward, looking for my toys. Music started playing across the room and I crawled to it, the source of the song eluding me until it stopped and I looked around for my toys again and then the music returned and I looked around for the source of that, my frustration at hearing the music but not seeing anything that could be making it bring my lower lip to trembling as tears built up in my eyes. I was uncomfortable, hungry, bored, scared, confused and a thousand other emotions all at once and no one was taking care of me and all I could manage to do was throw my head back and wail as loud as I could for someone to come and fix everything. ******** I’d managed to cry myself to sleep, waking up some time later to the horrid stench of my now leaking diaper, sighing in disgust as I gingerly got up from the floor and grabbed my phone off the bed, seeing that Tim had called four times and left me an increasingly concerned sounding voicemail each time. I called him back and he answered immediately. “Are you okay?” he asked. I nodded and then remembered I had to talk as he couldn’t see me. “Yeah, I was sleeping.” I said, searching for a lie and stumbling upon an almost truth. “You could’ve told me you were taking a nap so I wouldn’t bother you.” he chided. “I’m sorry, Daddy.” I said softly, feeling terrible that he was disappointed in me, that feeling of wanting to cry coming up again. “It’s fine, I just wanted to check in with you and let you know that I miss you.” he said sweetly. I stood there bowlegged thinking about what I wanted to say to him, pee softly dripping onto the floor between my legs as a fresh flow trickled down my leg in little, tickling rivulets. “Wet.” I thought, grinning like an idiot with pride at recognizing something and correctly identifying it. “Did you just wake up?” he asked, clearly assuming I’d wet in my sleep and was still waking up. My thoughts were swimming, waves of confusion crashing over me as I tried to cling to my adult thoughts, pouting as they slipped away from me and teased me with their mercurial evasiveness. I was starting to get really scared and realized I was crying and babbling, the phone laying on the floor in front of me. As I looked down at it, I realized all too late that it was rushing up to meet me as I fell forward and caught myself with a hand on the bed, reaching for the phone with my other hand. “Carolina, answer me!” Tim shouted, his voice full of worry. I panted, my heart throbbing in my chest, my vision growing darker around the edges, pulsating with every beat of my heart. “Daddy, I’m scared.” I said softly. “What’s happening?!” He asked me. I shook my head and the world began to spin violently. “No feewl good.” I mumbled as I wretched and threw up most of the contents of my stomach before slumping to the floor with a squish on my padded butt, my emotions bubbling over as I began to whimper and mewl and tip sideways to the floor, dimly aware that I’d hit my head on the concrete as my vision went white in a flash of pain and then everything faded away entirely. To Be Continued...

I would love to hear that story! ?