[Dummy? 1-30]

Part 24

Although everything was nice, the bed comfortable, the lion cuddly, there was an awful lot still going on in my head so initially I just couldn’t drop off. The fact that I’d said “mummy” instead of “mum” played on my mind. I got out of bed and hoped I might amuse myself with the electric train set.

It was strange because although I’d never had one, it was something I always wanted and this took up quite a large area. It wasn’t just in a circle but had a couple of lines that led into tunnels and through stations and villages... it was quite the display. There were two trains on the tracks, one passenger the other goods and I was lost in watching them circle around, climb slight inclines and pass each other going in opposite directions. I was driver and station master, planner and passenger and made up stories to go with everything I did. It was like I wasn’t alone chatting with all these little model people who had places to go. I was completely enthralled as I was charged with the power to make things happen.

I don’t know how long I played with it but could feel my eyes drooping so eventually brought them back into the station and imagined a conversation between the drivers before I climbed back into bed. They’d said their own ‘good nights’ and were wandering back to their own families and friends. It had been an interesting departure from trying to sleep but now, as I returned to bed I unintentionally giggled in regards to the lovely soft furriness that greeted my return; it felt unbelievably tickly and luxurious.

I was aware of the mass of my nappy which hugged me and kept me pleasantly warm throughout my crawling around. It had been fun to scuttle from one thing to another making everything work, examine various bits of scenery and check the characters dotted around the track. I didn’t think I was wet but slipped a finger under the plastic to check and was relieved to find no sogginess. For some reason I felt remarkably proud that I hadn’t wet myself and glided under the duvet and hoped I’d be able to sleep.

I think I dozed for a while but began to toss and turn a little and decided to read. I got out of bed and went to check on what reading material was available but as I opened drawers and checked shelves I noticed the plethora of stuff that had been gathered for my enjoyment. The sliding wardrobes concealed a host of onesies, PJs, and colourful jumpers, shirts and t-shirts. Hanging up were dungarees, shorts and playsuits as well as jackets, fleeces and coats. One of the wardrobes was empty so I suppose that was for my belonging from home.  There was no doubt about it I was going to be moving here whether I wanted to or not. And although I was angry to begin with, I had to agree that they’d gone to an awful lot of trouble to make me feel welcome and entertained.

I sat in the middle of the race car track and pushed a couple of the super sports cars around as I thought of my situation. Other than Billy and Mark, there was very little to keep me at home and although I’d miss them terribly perhaps I should think about my family first. The strange thing was that once again, as I played with the toys, I felt I wasn’t by myself. There was a presence and I could imagine the boys enjoying this with me.

I’d noticed it from when Gran had turned on the light for the very first time and I saw what had been done, my heart lifted. It definitely wasn’t a room for a late teen but I didn’t care, what there was more to my liking than I thought possible.

I had no idea of time because there was no clock just all the coloured lights but I’d yawned a couple of times so hoped that this time, when I returned to my rather comfy bed, I’d get some sleep.

I cuddled the squishy lion and wished I hadn’t been so hasty in refusing the dummy; still I was hopeful as another huge yawn engulfed me that I’d peacefully slip into dreamland.

#

I woke up warm and cosy and sucking on the corner of the pink fleecy blanket, the lion amazingly having escaped my subconscious need to nurse. This teddy fleece bedding really does make you feel calm and loved; I just didn’t want to get up. Through the two windows opposite I could see a sunny morning had arrived but had no idea of the time. It didn’t matter because I could quite happily have stayed wrapped up like I was for the rest of the day. I ventured a hand over my slippery padding and unexpectedly it didn’t feel wet.

However, I could feel my stomach grumbling a little but I was just too comfortable to move. I wriggled a bit and felt my slippery pillow of protection slide about in a very reassuring way. To lie there was absolute heaven, never mind that when I got up there was tons of stuff for me to play with... back at home I still had my video games but the train and racetrack seemed far more fun. Perhaps that’s because for the moment they were a novelty but I had enjoyed myself in the dead of night just getting involved and letting my imagination run riot.

The pink fleecy blanket was sopping wet on the corner where I’d obviously spent quite some time sucking on it so I stretched out and swung it over the side of the bed to air out. In doing so one of its soft corners caught my nose and tickled it. I sneezed loudly but a moment later, and I have no idea if these actions were related, I let out a huge fart, that wasn’t just a fart and could feel myself filling my nappy with quite a flow of liquid poo.

Panicked I tried to clench but it was too late so quickly turned over onto my front hoping that somehow that would stem the tide. It didn’t and my bowel contracted further to force even more out. There was a lot. I don’t know how mum knew but she had me well-padded for just such an event and then, as if on cue, appeared at the top of the stairs.

#

“Morning baby, it’s 9:30, what would you like for breakfast?” She spoke loudly from her position looking down at me.

I’d just deposited what felt like a couple of gallons of mess into my nappy which was still busily trying to soak it all up.

“Are you awake love?” She asked warily and started down the creaking stairs.

I crawled out of bed backwards and ended up knelt at the side with my messy padded bum facing mum as she approached.

“Oh baby,” she came over and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder “another accident?”

I nodded into my fluffy fitted sheet as mum pulled free the duvet caught around my feet.

I sighed and turned to face her but I was quite embarrassed: Not that she hadn’t had to deal with this type of thing before, but that it had only just happened and was still feeling the nasty trickling effect soak everywhere.

Mum was soothing my back with soft caresses but I felt that a point had been made – I was still a messy little kid who needed looking after. I eventually turned round and faced her.

“Sorry.” I searched the floor for a place to disappear into.

She just shrugged and patted my now sagging nappy under the plastic pants which were struggling to keep it all in.

“That’s why you wear a nappy love and why you should never worry about wearing one.” She hugged me in support. “But shall we have a clean-up before breakfast?”

I nodded my agreement whilst being unhurriedly led to the changing table.

#

Mum stopped me from climbing up and laid an old towel out on the floor.

“Step on to that love,” I did as I was told.

Once she was sure no droplets would fall onto the carpet she pulled down the plastic pants and tossed them in the sink. Next she whistled at the saggy mess that confronted her but didn’t say anything. She released the pins and the entire mucky creation fell to the floor, I didn’t dare look at my handiwork. “Go take a shower baby and I’ll deal with this.”

So that’s what I did, I christened the new shower and although anyone could see me through the glass sides I wasn’t bothered I just wanted to get clean. I saw mum put the night time fabric nappy in the green bin so I suppose it was blue for disposables and green for eco-type fabric nappies. I didn’t think that particular nappy would be regarded as eco-friendly now.

After the shower she dried me down and had me lay out on the plastic padded mat on top of the unit. After applying the creams, lotion and powder there was a moment when she looked down at me and blew the most childish raspberry on my tummy. The noise was like the fart I’d done that produced the mess in the first place and a guilty giggle escaped my throat.

Mum was smiling as well.

“Do you remember just before you started work that you were in turmoil as to whether, with this change in your development, you should give up your pull-ups and dummy?”

I nodded because it was something I thought about on and off for some time. I joined in “You said that I didn’t need to as they were things that helped me over moments of stress.”

Mum nodded. “That’s true, you’ve always had anxiety issues and both those items have, in their own way, helped you through such times.”

I was lying there exposed although well-covered in a layer of sweet talc but mum had stopped the change to chat.

I gave a slight grimace. “I wondered if such things made me look like a child...”

“But baby they worked,” she interrupted.

I shrugged in agreement but wished she’d just get on with finding me a nappy.

However, it hardly seemed that long ago I was wearing pull-ups to bed, and then mum hit on the idea of Durable Slips (for the heavy wetter) to help with those regular nocturnal emissions.

“Anyway, your bedwetting was getting worse and so I introduced you to wearing a Durable Slip at night for more absorption...” It was as if she’d just read my mind. “For the...”

“Heavy wetter,” I finished their selling pitch.

We both chuckled.

#

“You took to them like a duck to water.” I couldn’t disagree. “In fact I think, because of the extra thickness, you wanted to wear them all the time.” Again I couldn’t disagree.

For a moment I saw her eyes searching the nicely folded piles of different disposables that were arranged on the shelf above where I was laying.

“Because of that I wondered if perhaps there was more to it than just liking the mass and, as I’d already seen all these fun styles of nappies online, and the amount of Durables you were getting through each week, whether it might be nice to get you something slightly different.”

I wriggled a little uncertainly on the plastic padded mat wishing she’d just choose a style and get me into it.

“I was happily surprised when you were even more enthralled by the wonderful cartoon styles and incorporated them into what you wanted to wear for work.” She reached for a thick pink disposable and began to fluff it out. “You know sweetheart, that link between your love of nappies got stronger, as did the enjoyment of the more juve... erm... youthful style.”

I wasn’t sure where she was going with this conversation but at least it looked like I was soon to be covered and my little naked willy and balls made comfy. I was glad about that but I had zoned out a little.

“... and you know sweetie, over the past few months or so, your desire for those nappies has increased to the point that you don’t really want to think of any other way of going to the toilet.” Was mum being serious? “Now, I don’t want you to see that as a criticism, just a fact, and a fact that I may have helped encourage.”

I was still naked except for a bit of powder and thought it a strange time to have any discussion when all I really wanted was to get that fresh nappy on and have some breakfast.

“At the moment I know that all you’re really interested in is which nappy I’m going to put you in.”

“And have breakfast,” I added as a joke.

“Maybe but it’s the nappy which is important because that’s how you now identify yourself... the boy who wears nappies.”

“And eats breakfast,” I thought it was funny to joke with her.

“Yes, OK, and the boy who likes breakfast,” she conceded. “But, if I slipped you into a pair of these,” she held up a pair of briefs (I had no idea where she’d got them from as only moments before she was holding a disposable), I suspect, no, I know, you’d not be happy about it, or enjoy wearing them.”

“Yes, well it’s your fault you got me into these thick disposables and such...” I tried to place some blame.

“Indeed I did and continue to do so because I know this is how you are and I love you for it.”

“But you’ve made me this way.”

“No baby, you’ve always loved them, I just steered you to a more fun version of what you desired.”

I wasn’t sure if mum was making any sense or if it was me that was being a bit dense but I’m sure I never asked for cartoon nappies.

“But I never asked for this...” I wriggled unhappily on the plastic mat which I was beginning to stick to.

“The thing is Jason, you have but quite subconsciously. You might not have even been aware of it but since dad died you’ve slowly been heading towards where you are now.”

“But I...”

“When you got the job I thought ‘good for you’ because you’d found something to help you advance and grow a little. However, the job did bring with it huge anxieties both before you started and whilst you were doing it. You suddenly needed your nappies for work as well as night time and that’s when I thought to speed this journey of discovery up a bit and introduced you to what I saw as the ‘next stage’. So the colourful nappies were instituted” She smiled down at me in the most loving way. “As you toddled off to work wearing a nappy under your suit I was just so pleased that my little boy was still in there.” She tapped my head.

“Have I been manipulated...?”

“I don’t think so sweetheart just encouraged in the direction of travel.”

“So have you made everything happen that’s happened?”

“Oh sweetie, if only I had such power. No, you’ve been responsible for that but I’ve tried to guide you from the excesses and channel you into areas I thought you’d appreciate.”

I shrugged. What on earth did she mean... what about Terry and...

Then it tumbled, that was definitely down to me because mum wasn’t around, she was busy giving her full attention to her sick mother and I went off the rails. The thing is it didn’t feel that way at the time because I wanted what happened to happen. I wanted to be grown up, to act grown up, to do grown up things and you couldn’t get more grown up (I thought) than having sex. However, things might have been different if I’d had mum to come home to and discuss my day. Would I have made those mistakes if I’d had her clear, no nonsense advice?

Then the strangest thing happened. I remembered being a little kid in this very room. We must have been visiting and I was running around whilst both dad and Grandad were cheering me on as I tried to escape from their pretend game of dinosaurs, which I loved as a kid.

In this memory, which was so clear, almost real, I could see I was wearing a thick nappy and white glossy plastic pants, screaming in delight as daddy caught me and roared like a T-rex. This perfect ‘real’ image was a shock to the system, and how I hadn’t felt alone as I played last night suddenly made sense. So, whether it happened or not the vision was so indelibly stamped in my mind it was authentic to me, I hadn’t been alone.

Without warning I found tears sliding down my face.

“Oh baby,” mum was quickly in as usual for support. The hug was what I needed and at the same time I could feel the presence of dad in that wonderful embrace. In fact, as I thought about it, mum’s hugs were always intense enough for two.

She held me for as long as it took to calm down.

“OK you win we should come and live here.”

“It’s not a case of winning baby; it’s where you, no we, need to be.”

She threw the briefs she’d had in her hand into the sink and picked up the fluffed out pink disposable that I hadn’t seen her put to one side. Mum was a constant mystery. Without checking I was happy with her choice, which by the way I was, she taped me in and added very glossy matching rubber pants.

Once tucked in, she found a nice pale blue shirt, slid it over my head and said I was ready. 

“What about some pants?” I wondered.

“Not today sweetheart you’ll do as you are. I want to see my baby boy as I remember him from when we first brought you here, you were so damn cute and you loved to run around dressed... just as you are now.”

I thought it was a bit weird and definitely not what I expected but then I didn’t think of mum as having her own desires... until now... but there again... weren’t they my own desires?

#

I stood up and mum flattened the air out of the billowing rubber pants. I watched my reflection in the mirrored wardrobe and asked a serious question.

“Do you like seeing me like this?” It wasn’t the first time I’d asked that particular question.

She continued to pat the glossy material down as she thought for a moment and then smiled.

“The simple answer is ‘Yes’ but there is a reason.”

“Oh yes and what is that?”

“Well, your father and I loved all aspects of bringing you up, smelly nappies and all, but he noticed that when you got a bit fidgety or upset you also peed a little so, even though as you got older you were wearing underpants, we often put you back into nappies. He also noticed that, as with his kid brothers, a dummy also helped settle you down.”

“Yes I know all this...” I said a little irritably.

“But wearing a nappy did more... it made you more loving. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve always been a sweet boy and absolutely no trouble, but still, a nappy made you want to cuddle up to dad or me.”

I shrugged as I couldn’t help but feel the reflection in the full length mirror said I was nothing but a big baby.

“When he died,” she coughed a little as if trying to hide a little emotion, “to begin with you were a little distant and it broke my heart that you didn’t want to cuddle as much. However, after one particular night when you wet the bed and I returned you to wearing a nappy, you returned to wanting a cuddle.”

“Oh.”

“Since then, and since you’ve wet the bed more regularly, I’ve let you wear a nappy because it suited us both but I also noticed that it was something you loved. They had an ‘effect’ that changed, no, not changed... emphasised your personality.”

But I had lots of underpants and stuff...”

“Yes you wore them for school and for weeks on end but then suddenly you’d leak and it was back to wearing a bit of padding. So I let you choose when and where you wanted to wear a nappy. The fact you were getting older didn’t seem to worry you and it certainly didn’t worry me.”

“So I see,” I said running my hand over the slippery pillow I was now wearing.

“The nappies and disposables you now wear all the time proved to me that despite you having a job, and possibly feeling grown up, that wasn’t all you wanted.” Mum looked satisfied with her response. “In fact I thought it was more of a distraction to what you really wanted.”

“And what was that?” I harrumphed.

“I think that you want to return to a time when dad was with us and everything was wonderful.” She waited for a reaction but I just stared at her. “I think you want to return to a time when you hadn’t a care in the world and everything seemed perfect and that was when you wore a nappy, sucked on a dummy and daddy was there to play with his baby boy.”

I was speechless.

“I think you feel cheated that you never got the time you think others had with their father and the nappies and dummy are a substitute. Not that I’m complaining, but I did what you’re father said all those years ago - ‘You have to put yourself in the other person’s position and see what’s wrong from their point of view’ - so that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

I eventually found my voice. “That can’t be right.”

The thing is, lately, when I’ve thought about dad, not only does a wonderful and understanding man spring into my head but also mentally a man who patted my padding and encouraged me to have fun.

“Look love, I’m not trying to make you something you’re not. All I’m doing, all I’ve ever done, is offer possibilities and whenever there’s been such an option you’ve chosen this path over anything else.”

I took a good look at myself in the mirror and shrugged.

“So, is that why am I dressed like this now?”

“OK, OK, this is a confession. I wanted to give you the opportunity to relive a few moments from your past. Where running around this old house, the one where you, your father and Grandad all enjoyed time together, and where you were usually dressed exactly like this.” She paused for that to sink in, “and if I’m being honest, how I love seeing you now.”

The think was, I did often feel exactly like that and wearing just my protection and maybe a t-shirt was more than enough for me to feel happy, mainly because a nappy and a pair of plastic pants made me feel secure... and I loved that security.

However, what I came up with was. “Mum, you’re weird.”

“I know but, I’ve seen you at home and you never appear happier than when you haven’t a care in the world and are dressed like this.”

She’d already read deep into my psyche. Hell, even my time with the boys we were in our nappies and that was the best time ever. Perhaps, this, with people around me who understand, will be OK after all.

I nodded. “Mmmm, perhaps you’re right about that...”

“Hopefully baby I’m right about most things.” She smiled and lovingly patted my padding.

“Will aunty and Gran be shocked if I bowl up for a bowl of Corn Flakes just wearing this?” I patted my own well-padded bottom.

“I doubt it love... we’re all in agreement that if it’s what you want... then you should do it. There’s no pressure to do or be anything you’re not happy with because that’s the key... your happiness.”

“Well, I did spend most of the night,” I let out a little yawn, “happily playing with the train set and cars so...”

There was something else, I didn’t feel alone and was sure dad and Grandad were sat next to me and we played together.

“OK then, let’s go and have some breakfast.”

# tbc #

[Dummy? 1-30]

Thanks everyone I'm so glad you're all still enjoying Jason's little adventure. ?

He's pretty sure he's being railroaded into being something he isn't but is that just his imagination?

His mother needs to come clean as to the real reason they are moving back... and it isn't just because of guilt.

Just a few more chapters to go...

 

[Dummy? 1-30]

Part 23

Granny’s house is quite a large affair up in the Lake District. It sits proudly on a small hill in the countryside overlooking a huge lake. The views are tremendous, fields down to the water’s edge and in the background lofty peaks and forest. Meanwhile, there’s a little winding road which feeds the few other houses in the area. Where dad used to live is about a hundred yards further along but it’s changed a lot since those days. The nearest village is about a mile down that road and another five miles takes you into the nearest town, which gets packed with tourists almost all year round.

It’s still a family home so there are plenty of rooms and I never quite understood why, after there was just her and aunty, Gran didn’t sell up and find somewhere smaller and easier to maintain. I suppose as it is the place where she and Grandad brought up their family then sentiment alone would make her want to stay, and the views of course. Maybe she foresaw the fact that we’d all be together again but I don’t know how.

I have my own room, as does mum, when we visit. The place is vast because on the ground floor is a large kitchen, two spacious reception rooms, a cloakroom with shower and toilet facilities and a huge conservatory leading out into the substantial garden. Upstairs there are two large en-suite bedrooms with balconies and views out to the lake, a family bathroom and three further large bedrooms. I have one in the back over-looking the garden. There’s an attic used for storage and a huge basement that Granddad had used as a games den. However, since he’s been long dead, it had just gathered more storage and rubbish, which was a shame because as a kid I always found it a fantastic place to play.

Anyway, as we neared the drive my anxiety levels increased but Granny was waiting with a welcoming smile in the doorway.

“My, my sweetheart,” she started as she hugged and patted my soggy bottom through my linen shorts. I think she was going to say I’d grown, or looked older or some such thing but decided against it. “I’ve missed you,” and kissed the top of my head.

“Same here Granny,” but my heart wasn’t in it.

I was still in Granny’s surprisingly strong embrace as she continued to pat my bum.

“Mmm, your mother said you were still in nappies so why don’t we get you into something dry first and then we can have a lovely meal your aunt’s preparing and have a little chat, mmm?”

Reluctantly I was led inside and nothing had changed except I was surprised to see how fit and healthy Gran was. It was only a couple of weeks ago that she was badly hurt and found it impossible to get around but now, well, she could have fooled me. Perhaps that had been her plan all along; get mum there, feed her enticements and then... well... I have no idea but this was looking more and more like a scam on Gran’s part. She may be knocking on the octogenarian door but was as trim, alert as anything and appeared full of life.

Aunt Jane poked her head around the corner from the kitchen. “Hi there Jason, glad you decided to visit... we’ve missed you.” She said with her usual large welcoming smile. “Love the new haircut.”

“Oh hi aunty... yes, thanks, it’s been a while.” As she was in the middle of something she quickly disappeared back and Gran took over.

“OK love,” she spoke to mum, “why don’t you go and help your sister with lunch and I’ll sort this one out.”

“But mum...” I was horrified that Granny should suggest such a thing. I didn’t want her changing my nappy but mum wandered into the kitchen where I heard sisterly greetings, whilst Gran directed me towards the stairs.

#

I love Granny but she hadn’t changed my nappies since I was about four and I wasn’t keen on her re-establishing that chore. She led me towards the stairs but we stopped at the old oak panelled door next to them that led to the basement.

“You know Gran, I can do it myself... I.... erm... don’t...” I stammered.

Smiling she opened the squeaky access and told me to follow her. I don’t know why she didn’t turn on the light as I sheepishly followed, taking slow and deliberate steps down each creaking stair. Eventually we got to the bottom and she pulled on a hanging piece of chord that lit up the entire space. It was like a wonderland, well, a wonderland for a big kid.

Taking up a central position was the bed with pale blue covers, surrounded by a ledge of toys, books and a variety of stuffed animals. A huge play area had an electric train set up and a large racetrack mat for toy cars dominated another area (I told you it was a large room). The lighting was rather nice as well with fairy-lights draped across the ceiling and a projector that aimed a beam of stars moving over the bed. Some of the walls had posters of old Disney movies which looked pretty good. There were a series of sliding mirrored door wardrobes and several sets of drawers, one of which had steps leading up to what appeared to be a thick changing pad. Above that were several shelves of nappies and disposables and a rack of nicely hanging plastic pants in all styles. Above them were two ground level windows looking onto the garden and next to the padded bench was a large deep sink with hot and cold taps. Off in the right hand corner was a new glass construction, which I could see was a shower unit.

“Well sweetie,” she took my hand and guided me towards the little steps, “up you get and let’s get you out of that wet nappy.”

“But, but, what is this place?” I was gobsmacked but still climbed the little steps to lie out.

“It’s where we change our wet and messy baby boy...”

“But, I’m a, ummm, but, I ermmm,” I didn’t want this to happen but there was no way I would fight Granny.

She was already pulling down my shorts and releasing the little metal press-studs on the onesie. “Now sweetheart, just relax and let Granny do what she’s failed to do for a few years now and that’s look after her sweet Grandchild.”

I was about to speak again, why Grandchild and not Grandson? but she produced a dummy from her pocket and, with very little resistance, slipped it between my lips.

“There, there now, you just nurse on that and the world will be a much better place and let me get on with changing this lovely but absolutely sodden disposable.” She saw just how wet I’d become, which in my general anxiety about the day hadn’t helped the flow at all.

She wriggled down the blue cover and released the tabs. The ledge above the mat seemed well equipped with things in easy reach as she grabbed some wipes and set to work. I lay back and stared at the ceiling which had a host of happy cartoon characters smiling back down at me - all appeared to be wearing puffy nappies.

She pushed up my onesie but the cooling wipes must have been medicated or had menthol because when she wiped my willy and balls a cool shiver ran through my body. I let out a little squeal behind the dummy.

She looked down and smiled but continued with what she had to do.

“You know sweetheart, your daddy loved this room when he and your Granddaddy used to play snooker down here. It was where they bonded and then when you came along, they both couldn’t wait for a time when you’d join them in a game.”

She seemed excited as she told me this tale, which incidentally I’d not heard before.

I looked over at where I remembered the snooker table used to be but the train set now occupied that space.

“However, your daddy noticed something about you that no one else saw... you were your own person. From an early age your daddy would not make you do anything he let you make your own decisions and guarded your freedom to live life how you wanted.”

I looked up confused.

“Your daddy was a very clever and perceptive man, completely unlike your Granddaddy, who lived by his own ideas, but no, no, no not your father. When Grandad wanted to send you off to private school and insisted that it was the best place for a proper education, your father said a definite “NO”. He didn’t want others to shape you into being a certain way; he wanted you to find what made you happy and follow that path.”

I still wasn’t getting it.

“Jason sweetheart, this is you.” She swept her hand over the basement and all that was in it. “It’s taken a while for us all to cotton on to what your father meant. Your mum was on board very early on but the rest of us, well, it’s taken some time to catch up. This is your room and I hope you want to stay and enjoy what we can offer. You’ll not lack love and attention that’s for sure. If you want friends to come and stay, well there’s enough room for a small army down here. If you want to change it somehow... it’s up to you. I just want you around because I missed appreciating just what your father meant.” There was a brief sigh as she caught her breath. “I don’t want to miss the unique person you’ve become.”

I took out my dummy and looked her in her watery eyes, “But Granny, what have I become?” I wasn’t sure she got what had happened to me over the past few of months. “I’ve lost a job, I got a man sacked, and I lost a very good friend...”

“Your boyfriend?” She smiled knowingly.

Mum seemed to have told her everything.

“Yes, but...”

“Look love. You’ve been through a lot but we’ve discussed this and come to the conclusion you simply aren’t ready yet to be a grown up... and there’s absolutely no reason for you to.”

I was about to protest my independence but Granny went to the cupboard under the sink and I saw there were two plastic bins there. She slipped the used disposable into the blue one and I wondered what the other green one was for.

“Look, you’ve had a love for nappies and dummies for as long as I can remember. Your mother says that they mean even more to you these days than ever before. In fact, she says, you wear a nappy all the time now and haven’t worn underpants for quite some time.”

“Erm...” I was trying to think which part of what Granny was saying I could deny - I couldn’t. Mum did know me way better than I knew myself and perhaps all these little ‘nudges’ had been for me to realise this was what I wanted.

In my head I was screaming “No” but the thing was there were times when it all seemed to be pretend – the job, the boyfriend, my life in general. The only time it wasn’t... was when I was wearing a nappy and mum was around or, and this was a revelation, I was in the company of Billy and Mark.

Granny saw a worrying frown take over my face.

“Sweetheart no one is having a go. What we want is for you to be happy with who you are because we’re happy with who you are. If you like being a toddler and live in what I think your mum calls ‘little space’ then that’s fine. If you want to be a nineteen year old...” she looked doubtful, “then that’s what we’ll treat you as. We just don’t want you thinking you have to be one thing when you so patently prefer something else. As your father insisted, what he wanted most from his son was for him to be himself... and that’s what we want as well... you to be who you are.

#

Little Space?

Those two words were buzzing around my head. What did mum mean by living in my ‘little space’? Is that what she called it when I enjoyed the more childish aspects to wearing nappies and sucking on my dum-dum? Had mum made the term up or had she, like was often the case, sat at her laptop and researched... well... me and what I liked?

I looked around what was now apparently going to be my bedroom and I have to say, I did love most aspects of it. I suppose the stacks and stacks of nappies was what mum meant when I joked about her ordering more and she replied “Already done”. Mum is an enigma in her own right but she seems to have brought Gran and her sister into our world without too much trouble.

Gran fluffed out a disposable but I wasn’t taking too much notice because my mind was re-living the absolute best time I’d had in ages – Billy, Mark and me just having fun. I wondered at the time if it wouldn’t be the best way to live my life, with two guys who were as daft as I was... or at least appeared to be. It was true the nappies were the catalyst but what if they were exactly like me? What if ‘little space’ was real and we all could meet there or was ‘little space’ a euphemism for something else... it made me think.

Meanwhile, Granny had fitted me tightly in a very nice, thick rainbow disposable with matching shiny pvc pants. She’d then refastened to clasps of my onesie so all was held up tight and then eased up my shorts.

“There baby, and I bet lunch is ready... shall we go?”

I eventually found my voice.

“Granny, you must have spent a fortune on doing this place out and I can’t thank you enough but...”

“I know love,” she sighed a little as if understanding I had objections. “You’ve got your own life at home but, as you’ve so recently discovered things change very quickly. Here you wouldn’t have that worry because there are three of us who just want to look after you.”

“But that’s what I mean. You want to look after me... I don’t get a choice... this is not what dad would have wanted at all.”

“I think you’re wrong Jason. I think your daddy knew exactly what you needed and that was to have a safe and secure environment where you could be just who you are.”

“But, but, ermmmm...”

“Look, let’s go and see what your aunt has prepared and then we can discuss it all together afterwards. But,” she smiled, “I’m glad you like your room I think it’s what you need... a safe place to play.” She picked up my dummy and slipped it back into her pocket.

As we headed for the kitchen my nappy and cover creaked slightly as we climbed the noisier stairs up from the basement. Granny had added an extra soaker pad so my walking was a bit more of a waddle but still the thick padding did feel comfortable. She certainly knew how to fit a nappy.

#

The two sisters were sitting at the table chatting with a huge bowl of Spaghetti Bolognese steaming in the centre. They both had excited looks on their faces as I shuffled up and took my seat.

“Well?” Mum was quickly in with her question.

I knew she was keen for me to excitedly tell her I was sold but in truth, I still had some doubts.

“Yes, it’s all very nice and cosy and... well... looks ready for a boy to have fun.”

“Good, good... do you think you could be happy here with that as your own space?” All eyes were on me but mum was asking the questions.

I think that they thought the room would be the clincher and that it was everything I wanted. Why they should have thought that I don’t know because I hadn’t been obsessed with toys and such for a long time (well, not that they knew anyway). However, what had crossed my mind was WHY?

Why had they chosen such a style and why had they been so convinced it would be something I liked? I did, but why had they thought I would?

I shrugged non-committally and asked if I could have some food please. There was a disheartened look on everyone’s face except mine. I was comfy and was about to have one of my (many) favourite meals, which I thanked aunty for making.

“My pleasure dear...”I think she was about to add that if I lived there such meals would be a regular feature but decided against that line of persuasion.

The meal was wonderful but this time there was no sippy cup just a glass of milk. I think I would have preferred a sippy cup. Something else I noticed, I spilled some sauce down my front and I heard mum say ‘I’ll have to remember a bib next time’...

#

As I ate and the general chat continued around me I got to thinking again. Had Granny only pretended to be ill to get mum to visit and then kept her there to see how I’d cope on my own. I began to suspect all manner of conspiracy theories but drew the line that Granny and Mr Tridwell were in cahoots to get me sacked... although I have to admit for a moment it crossed my mind. I’d become very suspicious of what Gran said because she looked so vital. However, later in the day I did see Aunt Jane hold her up as she stumbled a little walking to the living room. I also noticed there was an oxygen bottle at the side of Gran’s chair and as the day had worn on, there was no doubt her effort had taken its toll. I felt guilty for doubting her.

It was getting late and I still hadn’t agreed to the proposed new living arrangements. However, mum said that we’d stay the night and think about it and could see what I thought of my new basement bedroom.

Just out of curiosity I trundled up to my old bedroom and noticed it had been stripped of anything to do with me and was now a sort of guest room. It seemed cold and unfriendly so I found myself in the basement and playing with the toys. I’d been so engrossed in my games and imagination I hadn’t realised the hour when mum said it was time for bed and I should come back up and say goodnight to Gran and aunty.

Gran was ready for bed and was being helped upstairs by Aunty Jane. I kissed her goodnight and thanked her for the fabulous basement because in truth, even just a few hours down there on my own had been incredible fun.

“Night Gran,” she looked at me adoringly but I could tell the day had been a bit of a strain.

“Night love” there was a soft wheeze to her breathing as the effort of going up the stairs told me all was not well with Granny after all. “Sleep tight and hope you like the bedding, there’s a lovely soft fleecy blanket I recommend cuddling up to.” She smiled and then turned to continue her assent.

“Can I help?” I offered.

“That’s sweet of you dear,” Aunt Jane said, “but for the moment leave it to me.”

Mum called me over and checked if I was wet, I was and because I’d been having such a good time in the basement hadn’t noticed, again.

She smiled and shook her head. “C’mon baby, let’s get you ready for bed... it’s going to be exciting sleeping in your new bedroom.”

There, she’d let it slip, ‘my new bedroom’. So it was a foregone conclusion, we would be living here from now on.

#

Though I’d enjoyed playing in the basement I felt annoyed that what I actually thought was of no concern and my input was purely for effect. That annoyance made me do something I’d rarely done before and that was have a huge temper tantrum as mum led me to the basement. I refused to go.

“Stop this now.” Mum was reacting to my refusal to be part of any further deception.

“You said I had a voice but you lied.” I screamed back at her.

“Be quiet your Granny’s trying to get to sleep and...”

“Don’t give me that,” I spat back, “you and her have conspired to bring me here when I specifically said I didn’t want to come.”

“That’s not true...” but I could see mum wavering a little in her argument. “I brought you here because this is where you belong...”

“When I was a child...” I responded angrily.

“But Jason, that’s the point, in many ways you’re still a child.” She reached out to stroke my quiff that had fallen across my eyes.

I shook her away because I couldn’t believe she just said that.

“MUM!” I said astounded by such a comment.

She went over to the changing bench and just indicated the piles of nappies.

“All these are yours,” then pointed to the toys. “You’ve not had as much fun for ages playing without any worries with things you’d all but forgotten you actually like. Sweetheart... ”

As she indicated the various things around the room that I had, and still loved to have from my childhood, I began to think about my other life - a life of boyfriends and sex so I added that to the mix.

“You forget I had a boyfriend and we had fantastic sex so I’m not a little kid I’m a grown up with...” I spat it out as if challenging her preconceived ideas.

“I’ve no doubt you threw yourself into such grown up games and enjoyed them but you’re never happier than when with your friends and playing games.”

What did mum know? Did she think that I played at sex the same as I played in nappies? I wasn’t quite getting what was being inferred, or, was I just assuming something was being implied when it wasn’t?

“Look Jason I don’t like us arguing and certainly not shouting across the room at each other. We’ve not tried to con you into anything. All I’m saying is give it a chance and no one is suggesting that you can’t have friends, boyfriends or whatever, or be nineteen.” She patted the padded bench. “But at this moment you’re wearing a soaked nappy, its bed time and you’re a bit grouchy with me.” She smiled her winning smile and in truth I hated that I’d raised my voice to the main person in my life. “Now, I understand because it’s been such a hectic day with a lot to take in that you may feel overwhelmed. So, what I suggest is, we get you into a nice thick nappy for tonight and then, in the light of a new day, see if we can’t come to some agreement, OK?”

I so wanted to stamp my authority on this outburst but really I couldn’t keep it up with mum. She is everything to me and I have only ever known her do what was best... and yet, here I was, doubting and shouting at her. I had to stop and make things right.

I wandered over to the bench, climbed up on it for the second time that day and let her get me ready for bed. As always she did the job without any resentment and I was soon cleaned up and pinned into a nice large white fluffy cotton-rich nappy with a pair of Disney plastic pants pulled over them.

“Pyjamas or do you think you’ll be OK wearing just these?” she said patting my inflated shiny bum.

“It’s pretty warm down here so I think I’ll do.”

“I can never get over just how cute you look in nappies...”

“I like them as well and these plastic pants are great.” I said running my palm over the glossy surface.

“Special fun pants for a special fun guy.” Mum teased

“I’m not mushroom mum.” I quickly retorted, which brought out the most wonderful girlish giggle from her.

She kissed my forehead and brushed the hair from my eyes.

“I know it’s been a strange day love. In fact, it’s been a horrendous start to the week for you to take in but I want you to know that me, Gran and aunty all love you. You know that right?”

I nodded.

“We want nothing but what’s best for you but we want you to be happy... so... sleep on it tonight and let’s reassess tomorrow?”

She steered me over to my new bed and pulled back the covers. I was quite amazed at just how soft and fleecy the bedding was (teddy fleece mum called it) plus a welcoming, equally soft stuffed lion was already there, not one from home but a new one who looked friendly enough. There was also a very pink fleecy blanket folded to one side I ignored that and slipped in under this set of sensual blue sheets, pillows and duvet cover that sent shivers of pleasure around my body.

As I got comfy there was a slightly different crinkle than from my plastic pants so knew there was an extra piece of protection covering the mattress. Mum tucked me in and asked if I wanted my dum-dum. Actually, it felt like I was surrounded by an army of kittens and could quite happily have done with it but was still trying not to appear babyish so shook my head no. Which was silly because under such a soft embrace I’d never felt so wonderfully babyish and looked after. Where had all this cosiness come from and was it just to make me feel special, wanted and/or childish? I still was suspicious but warming to the situation.

Once she could see I was settled it was time for her to leave me to my thoughts.

“OK love, sleep tight.” She wished me goodnight and I heard the steps creaking as she made her way back upstairs. The fairy-lights looked nice as did the projection of stars and moons that slowly circled the ceiling above the bed. I surveyed the place one last time before I thought about sleep; this was a fantastic space for a boy with imagination.

She turned at the top of the stairs and looked down on not only me getting comfy but the colourful wonderland the ladies in my life had created.

“I love you sweetheart,” she whispered.

In that moment, any animosity there had been after our argument disappeared.

“Love you too mummy,” I replied with a shy wave.

# tbc #

[Dummy? 1-30]

Hi Eagle0769

Yes not quite a fairytale but Jason is going to have to do quite a bit of adapting if he's staying in Grandma's house.

Glad you're enjoying the ride... there's a bit more to come yet.

Hugs ?

[Dummy? 1-30]

Part 22

It wasn’t even noon and I was standing out on the street and looking up at a company I’d been so excited about joining. Now it was a forbidding tower that I had no access to. Inside were my ex-boyfriend and a group of people I’d enjoyed working with but who I wasn’t allowed to say good-bye to, I’m sure that alone would get the chatter going. I remembered what it was like when Tridwell went and now it was going to be my turn to suffer the barbs and gossip. Tom had made it clear that I’d messed up and it was at that point I became aware of the mess sitting in the seat of my pants. God it had been a very stressful couple of hours.

Thankfully I knew I had on my thickest and tightest rubber pants (it was as if I’d unwittingly equipped myself for what was about to happen) so there was very little smell and, if I didn’t spread my legs too far apart, it would look normal as I walked. That was going to be hard to do. I also wasn’t looking forward to sitting on a bus full of people knowing I’d filled my nappy. Unfortunately I had no option but tried to find a seat well away from anyone else.

The ride home seemed to take ages and a couple of people who sat next to me stayed for only a stop or two before they found somewhere else to sit. I wish I could have whipped out my dummy and found some solace in that but I didn’t want to draw further attention to myself.

I suppose I could have taken a taxi, but that would have meant explaining the possible smell in such a confined space or I could have walked. Not with a nappy full of... well... it was too far anyway.

So, on the bus I had time to contemplate a few things. The fact I no longer had a job, and the jobbie that was squishing around in my nappy. I’d been out manoeuvred on the first thing but on the second... nnnhh.

The fact was I’d stopped really worrying about wetting my padding. I wore a nappy and more often than not I’d wet it and not realise I was doing so. However, a greater problem was that I appeared to be messing more as well, which I really hated. It appeared that because I wore such underwear my mind had forgotten to send any signals to my bladder so I just leaked like I did when I was asleep. I had no idea why that should be happening but I was going through disposables at a great rate. Just as well mum insisted I wore reusable fabric nappies to sleep in.

I eventually arrived home and mum was surprised to see me.

“Hello love...” then she saw my face crease up as the tears fell, “what on Earth’s happened?”

“I’ve been sacked and Tridwell’s been reinstated.”

“Oh love, surely they can’t do that?” She hugged and held me close.

“Well, they have and that’s an end to it. I’ve had to sign some forms but... that’s the end of my...” I burst in to even bigger sobs.

“Oh sweetheart,” she patted my well-filled padding. “I think we need to get you into something nicer than this.” She turned me around and guided me upstairs to the bathroom.

“OK sweetheart, it’s been a trying day so leave it to me to get you sorted eh?”

I desperately wanted mum to take charge. So, like a toddler, just stood there as she stripped me down to my unpleasant undies, released them and guided me under the shower.

She tossed the offensive disposable in the bin and then set about cleaning me up. She was of course thorough but I did enjoy it when she shampooed my hair and gently rubbed it into my scalp. She used the foam as it rolled down my body to softly sponge me clean. Once satisfied that she couldn’t get me any more sanitary wreathed me in a nice big warm towel and proceeded to dry me with vigorous rubbing and gentle pats where needed.

The tears had dried up but I felt exhausted and just wanted to get into bed and wish the whole day away. Naked I made my way to get under the sheets but mum had other ideas first. I was guided to lay out on one of my extra thick fleecy fabric nappies and waited a moment.

“Let’s get you into this nice comfy nappy but before that we need the basics.”

Of course that comprised copious amount of anti-rash cream rubbed into every crevice and vulnerable spot, followed by the sweetest rain of talc that was equally liberally distributed over those susceptible areas. If I’d been in a better place mentally I would have chuckled through it all but the sting of what happened meant I couldn’t enjoy it as much as I normally would.

However, mum’s soft ministrations and obvious devotion to my welfare were having an effect on my mood. Even the soft fabric under my bum was telling me I was home and loved and to let go of all the negativity. I took a deep breath.

“Thanks mum.”

She just smiled and nodded and, for the moment at least, there was no need for words.

#

It felt wonderful to be looked after by mum who was so caring and knew exactly what I needed and what needed to be done. She tightly pinned me in and then grabbed a pair of pale blue rubber pants that had a lovely glossy sheen to them, which she inched up and made sure all the material was safely inside the slippery fabric.

“Right love, I’m going to let you sleep for as long as you want,” she slipped my dum-dum between my lips, “and you just come down when you feel up to it.”

I knew that meant we were going to talk but she wasn’t putting any pressure on me and for that I was grateful. I’d only filled her in on the bottom line but I’m not sure she’s going to be happy about the rest of the tale... or indeed, what Tridwell had been planning to do. However, as far as I was concerned, I’d signed my options away and that was an end to it. To me, my venture into the world of being grown up, having a job and being responsible had fallen at the first hurdle. I was still a little kid in an adult world and had a great deal to learn.

Even though all this turmoil was going on in my head I felt absolutely knackered and just wanted to drift off. As I huddled under the covers I felt safe, comfy and loved because mum lay out next to me and gently stroked my hair. Had I been a cat I think I would have purred in contentment but as it was I slipped effortlessly into a deep and untroubled sleep.

#

Two hours later I woke up quite refreshed. I slipped a hand under my glossy pants and found I was dry. I lay there for a few minutes wondering if I was up to facing mum and telling her everything that happened.

Oh hell, my head was filling with all the stuff I was happy to leave behind but knew the sooner mum and I had that chat, the sooner it will be to get over it. Well, that’s what I hoped.

The firm rubber pants were holding up my fleecy nappy quite well as I toddled down to the living room where mum was sat at her laptop.

“Hi love, sleep well?” I saw her smile and nod even though I was just standing there wearing just a thick nappy and rubber pants.

“Yes thanks,” I hoped to lift the mood a little, “ordering more nappies?” I cheekily asked.

“Already done that sweetheart,” she beckoned me over. “Just looking up company law and the rights of employees...”

“Yes, about that mum... look... I don’t want to go into too much detail...” In fact, I was planning to leave everything out since she’d left for Granny’s including Tom going off to work elsewhere, my dalliance with Terry and my embarrassing meeting with Barnsy, although I suspect those were the only points that Tom would remember.

“But sweetie if you feel you’ve been unfairly dismissed...”

“I have but, I was still officially under my six months probationary period so, if they wanted, they could just have said it wasn’t working and that was that.”

“Well that’s not right...” Mum was in her investigative mode and obviously had an abundance of facts to support her case, she was like that.

“Mum please, what’s done is done and... me and Tom have split up so...”

“Oh sweetheart how awful and you seemed so excited about having a boyfriend... do you want to talk about that? Oh sorry love, is that why you’re leaving?”

“It’s a few things that have happened recently mum but the main one was that Tridwell was planning on taking legal action against the company for Vexatious Dismissal, whatever that is.”

Mum looked a little surprised at that but I continued.

“He’d come up with a story that put both Tom and me in a bad light, accusing us of conspiring together to get him fired. It’s not true of course but unfortunately it would bring a lot of other stuff to the surface that, all though completely deniable, would leave a nasty stain on both our characters.”

“Oh!”

“Sorry mum, but, they’ve offered to pay me off and give good references - I suppose to keep any bad publicity from affecting the company. Once all the points were laid out I signed the form so... I’m gone.”

“But didn’t you have any representatives with you?”

“Mum, please just drop it. I’ve made my decision and I think it would be too painful to work there and see Tom every day... or Tridwell if it comes to that.”

I didn’t like to admit that my being gone was one of his demands before his reinstatement.

“OK love, I understand.” She closed her laptop and pulled me in for a cuddle. “Oh Jason what a terrible time you’ve had and all this whilst I’ve been away?”

“Mum you’ve had other things on your plate and to be honest, this had nothing to do with you being at Grans.”

“Maybe so but I’ve neglected my little baby and so...”

“Mum please, don’t make it any worse by me feeling guilty about you feeling guilty... I’m guilty enough for us both.”

She giggled and hugged even tighter plus of course she patted my well-padded bottom.

“OK,” she conceded, “I’m sure there’s more to the story... and no doubt you’ll tell me when you’re ready BUT, I don’t like the fact that I neglected my little boy so I need to put that right.”

“But mum.”

“Ssshhhh now... mummy’s going to make us something to eat and then we’ll have a lovely relaxing night in front of the TV, OK?”

“OK, thanks mum.” She raised her eyebrows as if she was about to tell me off. So, playing along with her ‘mummy’ reference, “Sowwy, fank oo mummy.” I said with a jokey childish lisp.

“My pleasure baby boy.”

At that moment, that’s all I wanted to be.

#

Mum must have known from the way I was dressed to the way I was reacting that losing my job and boyfriend had set me back quite some way. I hadn’t thought twice about coming down from my afternoon nap wearing anything other than what I had on. I hadn’t searched for pants or even a t-shirt I’d just arrived in the front room exactly the way I’d been put to bed - like a toddler. As I’d wandered down stairs, the gentle rustle of plastic and the soft bulk hugging each step had been all I needed to know I was home - safe, treasured and protected.

Whilst mum was in the kitchen whipping up something incredible I curled up in front of the TV though wasn’t really watching anything of any substance just a set of cartoons that filled the screen. They kept me entertained and didn’t feel the need to search the channels for anything else.

“Are you OK sitting there without any pants sweetie?” Mum just checking I was aware in case anyone called but in truth I couldn’t have cared less if we had visitors or not. I was surrounded by my mother’s love and a soft snug nappy so that was all I needed.

Mum cooked up a very tasty ham tagliatelle in a rich creamy sauce which we sat at the table to enjoy. She’d even got out one of my sippy cups which had apple juice in it and wrapped a bib around my neck.

“Don’t want any hot sauce dripping on your chest now do we,” she’d said as she fastened it with a flourish.

As it was I didn’t spill any but was thankful for the sippy cup as I did somehow manage to knock it over. Mum must have got bibs when she ordered all the other stuff, but I was still surprised by suddenly having one secured around my neck.

After we’d washed up we curled up in each other’s arms and sat and watched some television. I couldn’t tell you what we saw because I spent most of the time with my eyes closed and the sound just seemed like a pleasant droning noise that had me slipping in and out of consciousness.

#

Mum was patting my bum when she woke me up and said its ‘nappy change and bed time for one sleepy little guy’. I hadn’t realised I’d soaked my lovely padding but now I was awake I became aware of the dampness.

“Up those stairs baby and I’ll be in to supervise your nappy in a moment.”

I wandered up feeling the sag and although quite sleepy thought it felt nice and squishy. I giggled to myself with each squelchy step.

Once in my bedroom I wasn’t sure if I should start without mum but of course felt I’d need to lose the nappy and clean up a little before she arrived, it wasn’t fair to leave everything to mummy...erm... mum.

Although I usually slept in fabric nappies I wondered if I could wear one of my plush, thick disposables with the unicorns all over them. When Billy and Mark had been around we’d all admired them and thought they should take pride of place when we visited the Queen... if we ever got invited to a sleepover at the palace that is.

I fished it out of the box and found a pair of lovely slinky glass-like plastic pants as cover but it would be down to mum on whether she’d allow it. She always thought fabric padding was better for a good night’s sleep.

Anyway mum arrived at my bedroom door just as I was wiping my privates down with a damp cloth.

“Oh sweetheart, you should have left all this to me. I’m not going to neglect my little boy ever again... so here... you drink this whilst I finish off getting you ready for beddy-byes.

She presented me with a baby’s bottle full of warm milk. I wasn’t expecting her to take this babying that far but as I was about to ask for my dummy, this was a nice replacement. Mum took the washcloth from me and cleaned me up and did all the other things a boy in need of a nappy needs. I pointed to the unicorn disposable and she beamed.

“Is this what my little soldier wants to sleep in tonight?” She teased fluffing it in front of my face.

“Yes please.” I said eyeing the full bottle of my nicely warm drink.

“And with these plastic pants?” She held up and gave them a tug to make sure they were tough enough.

I nodded as I lay out and let the teat slip between my lips for the first reassuring taste of my milky treat.

“Why not.” She conceded re-fluffing the disposable, “I think my baby has had a tough day so he should have a lovely night’s sleep with his little friends leaping around his little willie.” She tickled my tummy and I giggled in delight.

Before long I was oiled, powdered and taped in with the plastic pants pulled up high.

“Now sweetheart, finish your bottle and don’t worry about a thing. Mummy’s here to make sure everything is going to be all right and my baby has nothing to be anxious about.”

She was pushing this ‘baby’ thing but I was really enjoying it and loved being her little baby boy.

She kissed my forehead and wished me night-night before turning off the light and leaving me to the gentle sucking rhythm as I slowly emptied the bottle.

I lay there for a while enjoying the full padded feel of my nappy. I was thinking about what mum had said and began to imagine those little unicorns gambling around all over the soft fabric. I wriggled in contentment; I may have lost my job and a boyfriend but like Saturday morning with Billy and Mark, being wrapped in a thick nappy and thinking about such silly possibilities, I wished they were here now. However, a yawn overtook my thinking and I dropped into a dream world of no dreams... or if I had one I certainly didn’t remember it.

#

Come the morning and things were back to normal except it wasn’t because I didn’t have to get up for work. I was surrounded by various stuffed animals, including my old teddy bear which was in bed with me. I assumed at some point mum must have come in and removed the empty bottle and substituted the bear. I know it had been there a while because its well-worn ear was sopping with drool as I used to nurse on it when I was teething... and more as I got older. However, as normal, my nappy was soaked and I lay wondering how I was going to spend the day. Teddy looked a bit fed up but I was really pleased knowing he’d shared my bed. I rested him in the corner with a couple of other stuffies and began to remember the fun I used to have with these inanimate friends. I looked over at the clock and it was just after nine so mum had let me sleep in but I could hear movement downstairs.

I lay there for a few more moments before deciding I should get up and at least start the day even if I had no idea what to do. I couldn’t call on Billy and Mark as they’d be at school and then the idea of seeing friends and having to explain why I wasn’t at work made me think twice about going out at all.

However, mum popped her head round the door.

“Ah sweetie you’re awake. Look I’ve cooked some bacon and scrambled eggs so why not come down and we can plan our day.”

“I think I need to change...”

“Nonsense love, come down now while it’s hot and I’ll change you after.”

I think mum was beginning to like seeing me about the house wearing nothing but a nappy and I wasn’t averse to it either. So, I sat at the table and she’d cooked the streaky bacon very crispy just as I liked it. The eggs were scrambled to a ‘delightful consistency’, which is how I jokingly described them as we both tucked in. Again there was a sippy cup with orange juice in and the pile of bacon disappeared pretty quickly because I was very hungry and this was one of my favourite meals. Mum knew how to get my day off to a flying start.

#

A little later back in the bathroom mum released me from my damp unicorn heaven and made me shower. When finished I ambled back to my room to see all the clothes laid out for the day. It looked like we must be going somewhere because there was more than just a nappy waiting.

Mum came in, “Right sweetie, let’s get you into a nappy and then... well... I think we need to go on a little journey.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant but was a little reluctant to ask in case she said To Collins UK so I tentatively let her organise everything.

She’d decided on one of my thick blue disposables and a pair of robust blue rubber pants, a matching blue onesie which fastened between my legs and pulled the padding up high against my crotch. Then she slipped a beige polo shirt with a blue stripe around the middle over my head before adding a pair of blue linen shorts. As I looked in the mirror I wasn’t sure if mum had dressed me like this accidentally or on purpose because I looked like Billy and Mark.

“Mum,” I queried, “I look like I could be Billy and Mark’s brother.”

“Really dear, I hadn’t noticed,” but I could tell from the way she’d said that she certainly knew what she was doing. “Well I think you look very smart and so do the boys when I see them out and about so... perhaps...?”

She left it like that but there was a knowing look which I took to mean “I thought you’d be pleased with the outfit”, which of course, after the initial shock, I suppose I was.

However, things were getting weird if mum was dressing me like them and their parents made them wear nappies because of me.

The other thing I noticed was that this particular look was ‘flattering’ in another way... it made me look a good deal younger. Mum had liked the new short haircut from the beginning and had made a fuss about how cute I looked with a side parting and then a nice little quiff.  So when I got out of the shower, whilst it was still wet, she combed it into that style and kept touching it up with a quick flick of the comb. She always looked satisfied when she’d got it just the way she liked it. Although my birthday was less than three weeks away at that moment I think I could have passed quite easily for a fourteen year old, Mark’s age.

Anyway, one thing I did gather from the way I was dressed was that I doubted very much that mum would take me back to work looking like a school kid but still had no idea where we were going.

As we went out to the car mum looked pretty in a pair of black slacks and a rather fleecy half-zipped blue top and I was feeling happily snug the way I’d been dressed.

“Where are we going?” I felt able to ask as she turned on the ignition.

“We’re off to see Granny and your aunt... we’ve a few things to sort out and I think you need to be there to add your voice.”

I looked a bit anxious at this news and felt a little of the orange juice I’d had for breakfast dribble into my fresh nappy.

“Oh, erm, do we have to make a decision today?”

“Not today love, but Granny is insistent that she wants us with her and, as far as she’s concerned, the sooner the better.”

“But what about wor...” Oh yes, I don’t have work any more so the verdict might already have been agreed. “Do I really have a say mum or are you just pretending I have?”

“Oh sweetheart, um, Granny wants you to want to be there... and preferably by your nineteenth birthday...”

“But that’s just a few days away...”

“Well, nineteen days to be exact.” Mum smiled at the symmetry of numbers. “However, I gave all the arguments to her before I left at the weekend. The thing is... yesterday I brought her more up to date on your circumstances.  She thinks that now would be a great time to start again but wants to speak to you directly so you know why she’s so keen.”

I shook my head and sighed. “She’s going to say she’s old and dying or some such crap and that she needs me around for some ridiculously bogus reason.”

“Now you don’t know that and I think you’re being a little unfair on mum. She has your best interests at heart and I’d be grateful if you listened to her without pre-judging...”

“It sounds to me that I don’t have a choice.” I grumbled, now completely unhappy with everything. However, I got the feeling that decisions had already been agreed so it was just really to convince me. At least I’d get to voice my worries... and that led to another spurt of pee. Thank heaven I was wearing one very thick and thirsty disposable.

# tbc #

[Dummy? 1-30]

Granny's house - is this just what a lad like Jason needs??

[An Old Problem 1-24]

Hi Mj500

Sorry but I hadn't planned on a side story of Anthony and his best mate Peter. I can see that them being so accepting of each other would be appealing but I'm afraid I haven't been able to think up a suitable situation for anything to happen.

Sorry again but I'm glad the story and the possibilities interested you.?

All the best

Les

[Dummy? 1-30]

Part 21

 

Granny was in her late seventies but had not been in the best of health for a couple of years. Both her daughters were now in their forties but Aunty Jane had never married and been looking after her since the illness started. Like mum aunty was tough but the last few weeks, before mum went to help out, had put a strain on her and her mother’s relationship that thankfully mum was able to de-stress. I think it helped that they both had someone else to connect with so for the past couple of weeks mum was there, they were able to come up with new plans for the future.

 

Apparently, Granny wanted us all to live together in her big house because there was room for everyone. She also added that she wasn’t seeing me half as much as she would have liked, and at her age (she laboured the point to mum) she wasn’t getting any younger and opportunities to spoil her only grandson were diminishing. Apparently, it was at this point that she revealed the fact that she was sitting on a fortune. Not only was the old house worth several hundred thousand, her assets (which we were unaware of) reached into the millions. Not that she was miser-like in any way but we just didn’t know how rich she was. Money had never been a problem so was never talked about. And now, she wanted us to share in her wealth but to do so we needed to all be together. That was her wish.

Of course Granny was not above a bit of emotional blackmail and mum said she laid it on thick but, as she was already feeling a bit guilty about the lack of visits and daughterly care she could have offered, succumbed to those familial pleas.

Despite that, mum had put up all the arguments for me; I work, I’m independent, I had friends here and, although I loved Granny and aunty, I wasn’t sure I felt the need to be with them all the time. However, I could see that mum was feeling guilt-ridden about leaving her sister to cope with their mother all the time, and also, thinking ahead, made the point I would be in line for a huge pay out when Granny eventually passed over.

“The amount love,” mum was speaking softly and trying to convince me of the plus to all this, “is that you’d be set for life and could do what you wanted.”

“But mum, I do what I want now, and...” despite the lure of money I’m not fixated on it like some. However, even I could hear the whine in my voice like a little kid who wasn’t getting his own way and stopped my argument.

“Mum, has the decision already been made?” I was worried that was the case, which would be par for the course. Mum didn’t say anything but whispered that it was all going to be OK though didn’t say “yes” or “no”. She still held me tightly in her arms but as there was a lull in her argument wanted to deflect that line of debate for a while.

Food.

#

Mum ordered a delivery as neither of us could be bothered cooking and we happily chomped through a huge 14” tuna and vegetable pizza, with a side order of a litre of Coke and ice cream brownies. That kept us quiet for a while but we were both starving so the entire thing disappeared as we sat watching a bit of a murder mystery on TV about a town in Oxfordshire that must have had the worst crime rate in the UK.

Eventually I settled back and hugged mum again but didn’t want to discuss that particular topic further so came up with another subject.

Although we’d talked about it before I asked her how she and dad got together. Incredibly she seemed pleased with the change of direction and went into more detail than I remembered her ever doing before.

#

Apparently, dad’s parents had died in an accident so at the age of fourteen was sent to live with his nearest relation, his father’s sister who lived across the road from Granny. Mum was just a year younger but watched this new boy settle into his new family life which, due to the circumstances, must have been quite difficult. Although his aunt and uncle welcomed him he ended up being the eldest because his cousins (brothers and sister as they became) where three boys and a girl, the eldest of which was a boy aged only ten.

Mum said there was a little resentment to begin with but dad, even then, was unlike most other boys on the estate; thoughtful and protective. He was always looking out for his new siblings and making sure they were kept safe and entertained. He’d start up games for them and was always there if one scuffed a knee or looked distressed. Mum said one day she saw him slip a dummy between one of the crying boy’s lips and was surprised to see the little lad take to it.

Later, she asked him if he was punishing his ‘brother’ for crying but he replied that he’d never do that. ‘You have to put yourself in the other person’s position and see what’s wrong from their point of view’. He knew his brother was distraught but also knew that a dummy, with a slight coating of honey, slipped between the lips, automatically got the sucking going. He told mum that ‘Once that starts all problems fade away as the soothing element of that nursing rhythm takes over and eases the mind’.

She asked where this wisdom had come from and he simply replied his dad was a very caring man and understood people better than they often understood themselves. ‘Simple solutions are often the best.’ He told a very impressed thirteen year old girl who eventually, at the age of twenty-four, married that boy.

Once married they lived with Granny for a year but a new job on the cards meant a move away. Granny apparently helped with the mortgage deposit, and just a year or so later I was on the way. Everyone was happy though Granny would have preferred us all to be together. However, he son-in-law’s new location for work meant that wasn’t an option and so we were where we were now.

“Where’s dad’s family now?” I asked suddenly aware that there was much about this tale I hadn’t heard before and was quite surprised of the detail I was now getting.

His aunt and uncle retired to a place in the north of Scotland, in fact they moved to Shetland in the end. “We still exchange Christmas cards” mum clarified. The two sons had married and moved away, whilst the daughter tragically died in childbirth. His youngest sibling, Adam was in the Royal Navy and a Captain but no one local had seen him for years. It was assumed when on leave he sees his mum and dad in Scotland but has not returned to the neighbourhood.

I had no idea I had relations so far north as I couldn’t ever remember visiting them. Mum said there was no reason why we couldn’t visit them it was just that we never did.

Of course I’d seen the cards at Christmas but didn’t realised who they were from and I’d never asked. Or maybe I had been told early on and just didn’t remember. However, I was learning a lot but mum was still thinking seriously about us going back to live with Gran.

“Your father and I loved our time living at the house with mum and Jane. She did everything she could to make us welcome but, when it wasn’t an option for your father’s work, she helped us get this place.” Mum was smiling as she remembered. “In fact, after your father died she wanted us to return and live with her then but, well, you were at school and I thought you’d had enough anxiety in your life without still more upheaval.”

“Mum,” I was still being held in a cuddle and she was still patting my soggy padding, “I can’t go back... what about my job, they don’t have offices where Granny is. Also what about my friends...”

“Well a couple are going to university elsewhere... but I get your point, there are your work colleagues and of course the boys to consider” Thoughts of my wonderful morning flashed in to my head and just how fantastic both Billy and Mark had been. “However, sweetheart, your Granny isn’t well and it would mean so much if we all lived together. She really misses not being part of your life.”

I could feel her rubbing my padding and I suddenly thought about that.

“Erm mum, what about, you know, my liking of...” and indicated my bulging shorts showing the engorged disposable.

“Ohh love, do you think they don’t know about that?”

 “Er, erm, um...” I was shocked at this revelation.

“Of course they know. They’re very much in tune to how your father thought. If it’s,” she emphasised what she was saying by stroking my shiny padding, “something you want, or feel you need, then who has any say in that apart from you? Your family would... and do... support you.”

I was still considering the fact that Granny and aunty knew about my love of nappies.

“Mum, did you have to tell them?”

“Sweetheart, it’s no secret and did you think I’d keep a very special part of what makes you you from them? You are very special to us all and we all appreciate that over the years, and thanks to your father’s philosophy, a dummy and nappies are something you feel you need. We’re all happy with that whether you’re nine months, nine or nineteen years old... it’s what makes you so adorably special.”

“But mum,” I whined but she just kept patting the soggy bulk of my soaked disposable. It was difficult getting uptight when you've just been called adorable.

It was getting late.

“Look love, I’m sure all this is a bit confusing so why don’t you sleep on it and tomorrow we can discuss your thoughts, mmm?”

It was Saturday night but it wasn’t that late, maybe I needed time to think about what mum has said but, I really didn’t think moving in with family was the way I wanted to go. As I kept telling myself, I had work, a life and friends here so why would I want to move?

#

Sunday morning, and after one of the worst nights I’ve ever had, and with not only a soaked nappy but one that contained a huge mess, I was sure that was the result of anxiety getting the better of me. I couldn’t remember having a dream that might have been the cause of such a disaster but I couldn’t deny there was a messy nappy to contend with... and me at nearly nineteen.

Mum came in to ask what I wanted for breakfast but immediately smelled the problem. I’d missed mum being around but hated the situation as this was a nasty reintroduction to my problem. Thankfully, the nappy I was wearing had been one of the very thick ones and the rubber pants had been tight and secure – I was a mess yes but nothing had escaped from its sturdy fabric prison.

“Oh sweetheart, I should have thought about how anxious you get, I’m sorry.” She set about the usual opening windows and searching in the drawers for suitable replacements. “OK, why don’t you go and clean yourself up whilst I get things ready here?”

I didn’t want to move. Not only that but felt I’d let her down in some way – she thinking I was adult enough to consider about what had been suggested. Instead, all I’d come up with was a childishly messy nappy and I was on the verge of tears. It wasn’t just disgust with myself but generally feeling I’d failed to be a ‘proper’ grown up. I needed my nappies more than I thought and I saw mum deciding that once out of the shower, she’d make sure I was suitably protected.

“Mum, I’m sorry.” I whined.

“Don’t worry love, that’s what the nappies are for and whilst you still need them...”

She didn’t say any more, just got me up and led me waddling to the bathroom.

“Now sweetheart, take your time but be thorough and I’ll have things ready when you come back.” She smiled encouragement but still couldn’t help a slight tap on my billowing bottom as I passed.

I locked the door but still heard an audible sigh as she returned to my room to sort out what I’d be wearing for the rest of the day.

#

I removed the messy fabric and tried my best to scrape as much of the crap off and into the toilet; it was going to take a phenomenal soak to ever get that clean. I sat there on the toilet seat and contemplated what had happened over night because I’d been tossing and turning. One minute I was thinking about having to move to Granny’s place, the next about Tom and his need to ‘chat’. Then it would switch to the fun Terry and I had, which would morph into Billy, Mark and me behaving like toddlers and playing about in our huge fluffy disposables. It was then I remembered that at one point, I’d asked Billy in my dream if he liked messing his nappy. He looked horror-struck at the idea but, at the same time, I’d forced one out to show I had no trouble with it. The thing is, I hate to mess my nappy so why I was trying to coax Billy into doing it in front of me . However, that was when I must have filled mine but I had no idea of the time scale. I may have been lying around in it for most of the night. Uuurrrggg!

As I showered I was thorough and remembered, like I was still a kid, how mum used to tell me where to be especially methodical. Of course, when I’d finished and returned to my room mum was there with an array of lotions, powders and ample protection. I wasn’t going to argue even though I thought about it. I’d missed mum and she was just doing what mums do.

“OK sweetheart, I think you need a bit of mum’s attention so just relax and let me get on with it.”

Immediately Billy’s words came back to me as I let him and Mark sort out my nappy but mum was putting me in one of the double thick fabric ones. “I think we need to keep you well and truly covered for today... don’t you?

It was obvious I wasn’t going to get a say in it so I just nodded and let her get on with it. She’d even got me a shirt and shorts ready to go over the thick plastic bulk that I ended up wearing as my Sunday best.

#

All day mum was very attentive. She made all the meals and occasionally checked down the back of my shorts that I hadn’t had an accident and although I was a bit annoyed about it, I still let her continue.

“Look love,” she said at one point, “I’ve neglected you recently and I’m not sure, despite you saying all was OK, that you’ve coped particularly well.”

It was true I hadn’t eaten much but I had been busy in other areas and of course my mind had been elsewhere working on the new project for the company. There wasn’t a great deal I could tell her about that so we settled into a day of reading and watching TV. At one point we had a rare game of Scrabble but decided that with just two playing it was boring so that soon came to an end. I assumed she didn’t want to bring up our move again in case it stressed me more so it was a fairly quiet Sunday.

Again, by 9pm I was dozing in front of the TV so mum suggested an early night. I hoped I didn’t have one as bad as the previous night but mum checked I was dry and everything was tucked in behind the thick rubber pants before I toddled off to bed. Thankfully, a warm cup of Horlicks before we went had relaxed me enough to slip under the covers and fall asleep fairly quickly.

I woke up to nothing more than a moderately soaked nappy... so relief all round as I had a quick breakfast and then got ready for work. When I went back upstairs to my room mum had already got my workwear ready but also made sure I didn’t forget some robust padding.

“We don’t want any accidents at work now do we?”

I don’t know why she suddenly thinks I’m incapable of sorting myself out but, in truth, I liked being made a fuss of.

#

 

 

As I walked down the corridor to the lab I noticed a very ashen looking Tom coming out of the HR office. So he came back yesterday but didn’t tell me so gather I was still in his bad books. I was even more sure of that fact when he gave me a withering look as he walked past but didn’t smile of say “Hi”.

Oh hell I thought, I bet Terry’s told him what happened and... well... I didn’t want to think of that conversation.

Just as I was about to follow him into the lab Mrs Garfield caught my attention looking perturbed as she beckoned me over.

“Ah Jason, can you come into my office please?” There was no encouraging smile so I was immediately on my guard. I wondered if Tom and I had broken some company rule or something but any how I had a bad feeling about this.

Once I was sat down the head of HR looked decidedly uncomfortable but after clearing her throat a couple of times jumped straight in.

“Sorry Jason but I’m going to have to ask you a few questions, which will appear a bit insensitive but if you refuse to answer might prove problematic.”

OK I felt that first spurt of pee being absorbed by my padding and that was just the opening line.

“First off, do you wear nappies?”

That second spurt of pee was warming my cock and ball pretty thoroughly but I saw no reason to lie.

“Erm, actually, because I get anxious I do wear protection to the office.”

“Do you wear ones with cartoon characters over them... erm...?”

She looked away for a second obviously wondering how she was going to deal with my answer but again I saw no reason to lie.

“Sometimes,” I thought that was a good enough answer. “Why do you need to know?”

“Well Jason, I’m afraid that Mister Tridwell has launched a Vexatious Dismissal counter claim to his sacking... and claims that both you and Tom Tynan had conspired to have him fired because he rebuffed your advances.”

“What the...?” I stopped myself from swearing but couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “But he was the problem not me and I have proof about what he said and did to me from... Tom.”

Then I remembered the sullen and angry looking face I’d seen leave this very office earlier. What the hell had happened?

#

“So,” I tried to get my head around what was Mrs Garfield was telling me, “just what the hell is vexatious dismissal?”

“Well, in a written statement that has been sent to us by the legal department, he claims that you pursued him and wanted him to be your ‘friend’ and despite many refusals, you continued your campaign hoping for him to capitulate.”

“But that’s just nonsense; I just tried to ignore him as much as possible...”

“Yes he mentioned that you tried in public to show your contempt for him but in fact you were completely infatuated by him. Even on one occasion in the men’s toilet, tossing a soaked nappy under his cubicle and asking if, and I quote “Daddy would like to change his little boy?”

“But that’s not what happened.”

“He’s given a description of the nappy and it sounds very much like the one you’ve just told me you wear... how would he know if he hadn’t seen it?”

“Yes he saw it and tried to blackmail me into doing his spying because he knew I wore one.”

“So his story is correct, a nappy appeared under the toilet partition and he was in that other toilet.”

“Yes but, erm, I didn’t know anyone was in there and it just accidentally got kicked as I was manoeuvring myself into another position to change.”

“OK, if that’s your story.”

“It’s not my story it’s what happened,” I tried to sound matter-of-fact and confident. Alas, my bladder was uncontrollably filling the rest of my comforting and thick disposable so mightily glad to be wearing thick rubber pants.

“Look Tom has just admitted to me that you and he are, erm, in a relationship and it is Mr Tridwell’s assertion that because Mr Tynan had a strange fixation with the youngest member of staff, that both you and him colluded to come up with a tissue of lies to get him fired. Not only that but claims that although your work was good he found you a little too childish to be working in an adult setting, nonetheless, was hopeful being in this environment you might mature.”

There was an awful lot going on here but I just sat dumbfounded, I couldn’t believe the lies this man had been spinning.

“When he mentioned his concerns to you he says you claimed to want an older person to take you under their wing. When you wanted more than advice from Mr Tridwell, again he asserts, you didn’t take rejection well and came up with this total fabrication.”

“Well that’s a lie.”

“So you and Tom Tynan are not in a relationship?”

“Erm, well, ummmm, we might be...” I could see from the way the head of HR was now looking at me that there was some doubt about the initial complaint against Tridwell and now I was being suspected of getting an innocent man fired.

She looked at me in silence for a few moments. I could tell her opinion had changed and I could barely look at her. It was all a pack of lies.

“But he attacked me.” I tried one last time for her to take my side.

“He mentioned that and said he let a moments anger burst through him because you simply wouldn’t take no for an answer, and deeply regretted that moment when he simply lost control of the situation. He said he tried to apologise but had himself been threatened by your boyfriend...”

“But he wasn’t my boyfriend then.”

“Oh really, so how long after this did you two get together?”

I could feel my explanation was simply slipping away because I didn’t know what Tom had said and Tridwell’s account, although all lies, did make a good case.

“So,” I filled in the silence, “what now?”

“Well, the company definitely doesn’t want to see a court case... the publicity would be horrendous. However, Mr Tridwell has insisted that if he doesn’t hear something to his satisfaction, and his complete reinstatement and a clean record, he’s quite prepared to take it further.”

“Well what does that mean?”

“Look, all we can gather is he’s seriously accusing you and Tom of conspiring together to get him sacked.”

“But none of that’s true... he can’t just make stuff up and expect to be believed... can he?”

“I guess he plans to drag you, Tom and the company through the courts where his barrister can cross-examine you both about your relationship and your predilection for wearing nappies.”

“Oh fu...”

“Yes, oh fuck indeed,” Mrs Garfield concluded.

#

As I waddled from HR my padding was completely soaked. I still had my backpack and wondered if I should attend to that first or try and find Tom and see what his thoughts on all this were.

Certainly, the expanded nappy needed urgent attention so I found myself in exactly the same cubicle where I had been accused of soliciting Tridwell. However, my need for a fresh nappy was paramount and so I checked first there was no one else in any of the other stalls and having satisfied this was the case stripped out of my sopping wet cartoon disposable. It wasn’t exactly like the one Tridwell had described but not far off. The pleasure I took when mum put me in it this morning was now fading and if I had one I’d have used a plane Durable Slip. Alas, all I had in my bag were cheerful characters so they’d have to do. It was a shame because normally they cheer me up if I’m feeling stressed. On this occasion, they didn’t lift my spirits even if they were doing a good job of keeping me nicely dry.

Mrs Garfield had suggested I might want to take some time off and think about the situation but first I needed to talk to Tom. I found him in a meeting with the professor but hung around until he was free. The prof asked if I needed anything but I told him the HR needed to speak with Tom. I lied because I couldn’t think of another way of getting to him before I left for the day.

I could see the look of resentment on his face as Tom was excused by Professor Rashaan.

“What do you want?” He asked abruptly.

“Well first do you know what the hell is going on?” I tried to reason.

“Yes, Tridwell is finding a way of making our ‘relationship’,” he said the word with a touch of vindictiveness I couldn’t understand, “seem that I’m a predator on young kids and you’re a conniving little slag... because he accuses you of throwing yourself at him.”

“But that didn’t happen... you know it didn’t happen.” I pleaded.

“Really, so Terry was just a faze was he... and exposing yourself to Barnsy just an accident...?

“But, but...” I was lost for words.

“Terry told me about his session with you and I have to say I didn’t believe it... until I was dragged into HR and told what that madman Tridwell is accusing you of.” I felt tears forming but he was taking no notice. “You’ve taken me for a fool Jase and I don’t like it.”

The tears fell. How could I make him realise that none of this was my fault... and yet, despite Tridwell’s lies I somehow knew I had this coming.

“If he doesn’t get his own way he sounds like he’s planning on ruining both our careers and I’m not sure where we’d stand with regards to receiving company backing. They’re running scared and Mrs Garfield has already given a nod that they are prepared to take him back as if nothing happened.”

“Really?”

“Yes but that would depend on us, whether we feel we can defend ourselves and to be honest I need this job, no, I love this job and I don’t want to jeopardise working here.”

He was sort of pleading his case as if the decision was mine. I apparently held the power of what happens next in my hands.

“You really need to think about your, no, our situation because either way we’re through. I can’t let you shag my friends as if I mean nothing to you. I thought we had something special but apparently not. But if Tridwell decides he has more information about us and is more than happy to expose it to everyone then I guess we’ll be pariahs for ever.”

“But we can’t let him win because it’s not true.”

“Well if you’re prepared to take him on, good luck. I don’t think I dare.” He turned to go back to his meeting. “Seriously Jason,” he sounded very serious, “I’d think carefully about just what will come out if you try and defend yourself. I can guarantee he’ll make sure it sticks.”

“Well what should I do?”

“That’s up to you but I know he won’t come back unless we’re both gone. I know I can get a transfer but not sure about you.

“What about us?”

“There is no us now... you’ve made sure of that.”

“Please,” I pleaded but he just walked away.

#

Shortly after that conversation I was back in HR and crying as Mrs Garfield did her best to comfort me. She wasn’t quite as understanding as last time and I noticed the tissues weren’t offered like before. I wept as I tried to speak.

“What should I do?”

“Well Jason it’s up to you. If you think you’re being unfairly treated then of course there’s nothing to stop you fighting his version of events.”

“Will the firm back me?” I appealed.

“Mmm, that’s difficult Jason. The company would rather this just went away. Mr Tridwell has set out what he wants but it’s up to you to decide if you want to take him to task over his allegations. Personally, I’m not sure you’d survive the upset and I doubt the company would be best pleased... although they wouldn’t blame you if you did... but, look I can offer a solution.”

“Ohhh, what’s that?”

“You can resign.”

“But wouldn’t that say I was guilty of what that awful man is accusing me of?”

“Not necessarily. We can come up with an excuse for you deciding that the work here at Collins isn’t quite what you expected and wish to pursue other avenues and opportunities. We can offer you compensation of two months extra pay and really good references...”

She saw the tears running down my face.

“So, even though he’s telling a pack of lies... it’s me that has to go?” I sobbed at the injustice of it all.

Mrs Garfield didn’t say anything because I think the answer was obvious.

“Look, I’ve typed up this letter, all you have to do is sign it and the entire thing disappears.”

“Yes but that means I have to disappear as well.”

Again Mrs Garfield said nothing just pushed a pen towards the letter lying on the desk.

“Look Jason, there is a case that you are still on probation as you haven’t been here six months but, to keep it all quiet, and to show we understand your position...”

I wasn’t coping very well as a huge roar of anguish escaped into the room, which took Mrs  Garfield by surprise. She patted my hand but it wasn’t like before, it was timid and lacked any empathy other than she wished this meeting would come to an end.

“It would be for the best and of course nothing would follow you anywhere we’d see to that, but, there is a NDA notice and an agreement of no come back on the company.” She mentioned all this as if that was a splendid solution to this terrible situation.

Although I could tell it was all aimed at what was best for Collins UK I didn’t feel I had much choice. Especially if they decided that I was incompetent and just sacked me as I was still in my probationary period. They were offering me a way out and wanted to appear fair with their offer so I knew the decision had already been made. If I wanted to contest this I’d get very little support from anyone at the firm. Not only that but could feel my bum just about to add to the piss already warming my nappy and just wanted out of there.

I grabbed the pen and signed my name.

I heard a deep relieved sigh from the head of HR who countersigned it.

“I think you’re doing the right thing Jason. Very grown up and we’ll send things along once we’ve sorted out everything else out.”

I assumed that was getting Tridwell to agree that it had gone as he wanted and his reinstatement would be instant. I was sure there’d be quite a lot of people dreading his return but of course that was no longer a concern of mine.

“Is that it?” I queried through teary eyes. “Is that my career over?”

“Let’s just say you’re finding new opportunities shall we?”

“Well, I’ll just empty my locker and...”

“Yes, erm, security will accompany you and see you exit the building but, if you don’t mind Jason, I need your pass.”

She held out her hand as I gave it to her and out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry from security standing at the door.

“Please make sure Jason clears the building without any contact with other members of staff please Harry.”

“Righto Missus,” Harry agreed in his broad Yorkshire accent. “No stopping for a chat, eh?”

Within two minutes I’d collected my things, hadn’t been able to say good-bye to anyone and on the pavement heading for the bus stop. This was not how I expected the day to go... and my nappy was thick and heavy.

# tbc #

[Dummy? 1-30]

Yes, things are going to be changing quite significantly for our boy... but will he be ready for them? ?

[Dummy? 1-30]

Part 20

“Sorry guys,” I said to my guests, “but it’s Tom and I need to take this... in private.” I engaged the call to say “Hi” but the boys got in first.

“Hello Tom,” they both shouted gleefully as I left the bedroom.

Once on the landing I closed the bedroom door and said “Hi Tom, how’re things?”

There was a moment’s hesitation. “Erm fine but... who was that?”

“Oh just a couple of friends from school I haven’t seen for a while,” I thought it was best not to tell him exactly what we were up to. “So just catching up, erm, have you any news about when you might be home?”

“Well, I’m in the office now and things look like they’ve calmed down a bit but still nothing definite.”

“Oh dear, Saturday and still working... I‘m really missing you...”

“Well you’ve got your mates there so...”

I detected a bit of resentment in his voice but pretended I didn’t. He might be just annoyed that he’s had to work away and is quite simply missing me. Still.

“Yes, but they’re no substitute for you... they’re still at school and I miss my hot, demanding rugby player.”

I was hoping it sounded coy and sexy but his tone didn’t change.

“And what about Barnsy thinking you’re weird?”

A cold chill ran through my body because I wondered if this might lead to him knowing about Terry. However, as I thought the incident with Barnsy was funny I relayed what had happened as jokily as possible. I told him I was convinced that after he’d told me he wasn’t coming home that, with the knock on the door, and the timing,  it was him playing a joke on me and so I quickly stripped and launched myself at what I thought was his return.

“So Barnsy’s seen you naked?”

I sheepishly admitted that was the case. “Yes,’fraid so... in all my excited glory.”

“Bloody hell...” He didn’t say any more on the subject but there was a long silence before he spoke again. I wasn’t sure why this was such a big deal but the time he was taking to speak meant his was working things out.

“Weird or what? Don’t s’pose he’ll forget that encounter any time soon, ha-ha?” I joked but could tell he was mulling things over.

I wasn’t getting the feeling he thought it as amusing as I hoped I’d made it sound and that he had some serious reservations about my behaviour.

“Look, when I get back we need to have a chat about certain things...” He sounded serious but by now I was wondering just what was he concerned about? I’d told him what happened, it was silly but innocent enough so why the... oh... what if he didn’t think it was innocent and that I’d actually thrown myself at his friend. What if he already knew about Terry and this was just another...? Oh hell... what does he know? I need to know what he knows.

“Oh yer... a chat about what exactly?” I cheekily enquired.

“Just us.” He sounded slightly dismissive.

“Mmmm, I don’t like the sound of that particularly, so why not let’s have that chat now.”

This was completely unlike my usual way with Tom. In fact, I never call people out or get confrontational but there was something about his tone. Not only that but so far I’d been having the most incredible start to the day full of disposables, nappies, plastic pants and above all, laughter. He was putting a dampener on what was a wonderful surprise and something I didn’t want to stop because of him or his attitude.

This conversation was rapidly deteriorating to silences and I wasn’t sure if it was because of him or me?

“I don’t want to chat now,” he said that as if he was mimicking a childish response, was he mimicking me?

It took me a couple of moments to decide that’s exactly what he was doing and I didn’t like it. I could feel my anxiety levels rising and also felt the first splash of pee into the front of my lovely purple undies.

I felt I had to do something and not let him take the lead.

Throughout our short but very nice relationship I’d always let him take command. Partly because I had no idea what I was doing and needed to be lead, the other reason was it isn’t in my nature to be in control. I left that to anyone and everyone else. But there had been something about the way he was speaking and hesitating now that annoyed me so...

“Well Tom, lovely speaking to you but I have friends here and if you don’t want to chat now,” I used the same intonation back at him, “I’ll return to them and we can continue our early morning orgy of chatting.”

There was a moment of silence that followed and I thought perhaps, to stop me from making it worse or sounding petty, I’d better end this call pretty promptly.

I stood on the landing still holding my phone and wondering what I’d just done. However, I was really quite angry with him and, although he might have had an excuse to have that attitude, he was acting like an arsehole. My own arsehole tweaked at the thought, which in retrospect was perhaps a strange response.

Then I began to think that perhaps Terry had got back to him. Maybe rather than him having known his mate would make a move, he’d been told how receptive I was to the big man’s cock. This was the problem with only knowing half the situation. I began to feel guilty and that it was entirely my fault and then of course my bladder decided to give up holding back the flood. I was just inches away from the bathroom door but couldn’t stop the quick flush that filled the front of my lovely padding.

I looked at the blank screen on my phone and wished he’d call back, he didn’t but the warm sogginess was some sort of compensation.

#

I returned to the bedroom and it was like I’d been transported back to my first day at nursery. The boy’s had shook off their own protection and were parading around in their choice of disposable. The joy on their faces was undeniable and they both looked like four year olds having the best time ever. I looked on in admiration, the lads had come so far in their appreciation for nappies but this looked like they’d never had a problem in the first place. They were patting each other’s wadding and laughing and holding up different plastic pants trying to decide which would go better with which.

Mark had slipped one of my dummies between his lips and the bliss that seemed to be emanating from him was incredible. This was really quite amazing; for as long as I’d known both lads Mark had always been the more reticent to ‘let go’. He was always scared of what his parents might do or say and was very much led by his older brother. Who in turn made sure he looked out for him as much as any brother could? To see the youngest of our group independently having fun was quite the revelation and I was so pleased, as I’ve mentioned before, to witness this ‘new’ version of him.

It was great to just stand there and look on but then I had a thought; is this how mum sees me when I wear all this childish padding... a little kid? That’s what I thought of my guests, and I wondered if they thought the same of me? The question was did I mind being a little kid? It was strange how such thoughts flitted into my head but then seeing the boys having such fun, flitted straight out again. I don’t know what my brief conversation with Tom had thrown up but I was suddenly questioning certain aspects of my life. With him I was grown up (although never particularly felt that way) but what we did was grown up but, what I was doing now was just plain fun. Childish? Maybe? But definitely the most enjoyable time (and that included sex with either Tom or Terry) that I’d ever had.

Mum has always supported me in whatever I’ve done or the decisions I’ve made but it was her who introduced me to this more colourful and juvenile brand of nappies. In fact, she had also introduced me to Durable Slips, which were more robust disposables and once I’d got used to them moved to these others. She’d often told me that dad had approved of me using a dummy and recommended its use when anxiety took over. There had never been a point when I was told to leave such things behind and so I haven’t. Of course, I wondered at the start if I should embrace the childishness, but then having felt the softness and general fluffiness of all the new boxes of stuff mum had bought online, there was an overwhelming urge just to slip into them all.

There was no denying that since I’d started wearing these juvenile items I’d embraced that side of my personality and found I loved it. Had that same feeling now reached Billy and Mark?

Meanwhile, I went to the kitchen to get some drinks. I was tempted to fill bottles but instead grabbed a few cans from the fridge and took them back upstairs.

My friends were having a great time and I stopped watching, and, after the unpleasantness with Tom, launched myself into having as much fun as they were. They noticed I was wet and volunteered to choose a fresh nappy and change me... seeing as they change each other all the time. This was something new and exciting and I didn’t want to miss out on where it might lead. However, I was more interested in us getting back to being silly kids for a bit, I suppose to take my mind off Tom, and it wasn’t long before we were back immersed up to our ears in nappies, childish banter and a noisy discussion on our favourite toys and stuffies.

The cans were appreciated and swiftly consumed and I’m sure anyone looking on would have been horrified that a group of teenagers were sitting wrapped only in disposables, whilst making up silly stories around the various designs.

We did a sort of critique of all the patterns; cuteness, thickness, sturdiness, fluffiness... wearability. Then we played at where exactly we’d dress in such items; opera, cinema, football, high-tea, visiting the Queen, mopping out the basement, delivering the post, on the moon. Yes, it got sillier and sillier until we all ended back at our first nursery.

It was good to hear the lad’s happy memories of those times and, as we sat around looking like we did, appeared to be recreating those early childhood days pretty well.

#

A little while later Mark remembered I’d agreed to let them do the change and was keen to gather all the lotions and powder needed, whilst Billy decided to choose the perfect nappy. I’d like to say I was reluctantly laid out on my changing mat but that would have been a lie.

“OK Jase, don’t do or say a thing leave it to us to sort you out,” Billy was still rummaging through a selection of nappies to find his final choice. Meanwhile, Mark had removed his dummy and offered it to me. He gently pressed it against my lips and I let it slip in with no resistance.

It felt really sensual accepting the pre-lubed latex nipple between my lips but he’d offered it with such sincerity it would have been impossible for me to refuse.

“Now, no tantrums,” Mark joked, “no kicking, no tears and no screaming... your daddies are going to make you all nice and dry.”

“Daddies?” I thought to myself.

Well, this was a turn up for the book. I can’t say that I hadn’t had this dream on a couple of occasions but I had to pinch myself to make sure that was still not the case... but ‘daddies’?

I pinched.

No, definitely alive and awake... I hadn’t gone to heaven and this was my reward for being a nice guy.

Actually, had I been a nice guy?

#

Mum had obviously changed my soaked nappies, even Tom had changed me but this was the first time my school mates had done the deed and I was both excited and nervous at the prospect. Billy was in charge and Mark his assistant but I couldn’t get over how they’d so easily slipped into ‘daddy’ mode. Where the hell had that come from? I knew they changed each other’s messy and wet nappies but had they come to some agreement that made it more acceptable than just brothers doing it. Was ‘daddy’ a way of coping? Personally, I’d loved the idea of brothers taking care of each other but, well, who knew what had gone on in that household?

There was a few moments of silence, which was strange after all the animated noise there had been in my room, but it was as if they wanted an atmosphere of calm. In the silence I began to wonder what would happen between the boys because I was approaching nineteen and Billy was just a year younger than me so would soon reach the age of majority. Would things change when officially hit eighteen and was able to be an independent person?

In fact, I wondered if age had any meaning in their household. Maybe being eighteen just meant a number and one that wasn’t relevant to Mr and Mrs Edwards. They’d now decided their boys should wear nappies so being seventeen and wearing them probably meant that being eighteen would make no difference what so ever.

His birthday was just a few of days before mine, which was in three weeks’ time. I wondered if I’d feel any more grown up and would Billy’s parents let him grow up at all.

However, although an important notion to think about, Billy’s voice was soothing and I guess was practised at making sure his younger brother was able to relax when in a stressful situation.

I tried to relax but my anticipation was mounting and no sooner had Billy touched my plastic pants and started to remove them, I felt that usual surge of ‘excitement’ fill the front of my already soaked nappy. Thank God the squeal of delight was partly shielded by the dummy.

“You OK?” he whispered as both boys looked on. Then he turned to Mark. “I think you need to get a warm cloth from the bathroom... I think our little boy is going to need a thorough clean up.”

Mark immediately went off to the bathroom and minutes later returned with a small bowl of warm water and a washcloth and set it down beside his brother.

By this time my plastic pants had gradually been removed and I could feel his fingers gripping onto the purple tabs.

“Relax Jase, we’ve got this,” his soothing tones were getting to me and I wondered if this was how he and his brother were able to change each other without any embarrassment.

“Now, I’m going to peel this away,” he pressed on the front of my soggy disposable, “and I don’t want you to feel uneasy.”

I could feel the damp stickiness against my skin but tried to relax.

I closed my eyes as he slowly (and I have to say – erotically) released me from my warm and cosy padding. There was a slight change of temperature when completely revealed and I didn’t dare open my eyes to see their reaction to the cummy mess I’d so recently deposited in it.

“Oh good, you’re hairless like us. Mum and dad insisted we keep that area ‘clean and clear’ so as not to encourage disease and such like.” I could feel gentle fingers just scrape past my cock, which I was desperate to keep as little as possible.

“Washcloth please,” Billy demanded from his brother and immediately my privates were engulfed in a warm damp piece of fabric, which he slowly smoothed around and wiped away any remains of my ‘excitement’.

Although in my head this was nearing a wonderful sex-act Billy didn’t linger, he was all about getting the job done... but done right.

He asked me to lift and removed the purple nappy and then rubbed in Vaseline into all vulnerable parts before dousing in a cloud of lavender scented talc.

“Oh, that smells nice,” Mark commented.

Meanwhile I opened my eyes just a little; I was still sucking on the dummy but saw Mark flapping out the disposable Billy had decided on. It was the most childish (and thickest) of my collection. The layers of material fluffed out to create a very soft ride when wrapped around your groin and the thickness between the legs was a wonderful reminder of what it feels like to be cuddled. The all-over print was of baby rabbits, dressed in shorts and nappies, and to be honest I was excited that Billy had thought to put me in this particular design. It was one that I loved but because I only had a couple of them, I tried not to use them except on a special occasion. He was right; this was a very special occasion.

Yes I know, this sounds like I’m living a fantasy and I can’t pretend it wasn’t feeling that way as well but, and this is crucial, Billy and Mark just didn’t seem invested in anything other than getting me changed and into their preferred choice of undies. Whether this was as far as their sexuality went I can’t say. Maybe, being direct and perfunctory was how they were with each other to take any sexual context away from the deed. Nonetheless, at no point did what they were doing seem more than making sure I got a thorough, though gentle, clean-up and change of disposable.

“Lift please Jase,” was whispered as the recently plumped-up new disposable was pushed under my bum. More powder was sprinkled onto the seat of the nappy and then he pulled at the tapes and made sure I was tightly but comfortably fastened in. The soft fabric tickled my waist and thighs and, as he patted the soft bulk of the seat, finished by asking if a pair of clear plastic pants would be OK. I think he’d already decided on them so that I (and possibly they) could enjoy just looking at the juvenile, but cute, design as I wandered about.

I raised myself up on my elbows and looked at the fantastic job they’d done. I told them so and thanked them for what had been an incredible experience - far better than when Tom had changed me but perhaps that was for other reasons. Both lads appeared happy with their work and helped me to my feet.

“Well thanks guys... for everything.” I said as the fresh disposable did what it did best, and gave me a soft, feathery hug in all the right places.

I was about to say more but Mark interrupted me.

“Jase, it’s us that should thank you. If it wasn’t for you, and whatever conversation you had with our parents, we’d still be full of resentment and life would be a lot worse.” He checked with his brother, who nodded, before he continued. “As it is, we may prefer to be wearing briefs but we’ve grown to accept that our parents want us in nappies and that’s not going to change.” He grimaced slightly but he was now in full flow. “Because you can live with them, and find a positive in wearing them, you’ve shown we should be able to do so as well. So, that’s what we’ve tried to do. I can’t tell you just how grateful we are and this past few hours have only made us realise that we can have fun... no matter what we’re made to wear... so, thanks.”

This was perhaps the longest speech I’d ever heard Mark make and, as both nodded, assumed it was a shared opinion. I felt honoured.

#

Of course, once again I was lost for words because I didn’t really want to take credit for the situation the boys were in, even if I was responsible in some way. The fact that they’d come to this conclusion I thought was quite adult but in fact was probably the opposite. They’ve had to accept nappies as a main part of their lives and even I’m aware, despite my own proclivities, it wasn’t right. However, I’m just so pleased with the way the day had gone... I’d all but forgotten about Tom until the phone rang again. I was convinced it was Tom ringing to apologise but it was mum, she was on her way home and said she had tons tell me.

I let the boys know that she’d be with us soon and that unfortunately we’d have to bring this wonderful entertainment to a close. However, I wanted them to wear what they had on and take another item for future ‘pleasure’ and I’d see them later. Maybe, if their parents saw the new disposables it might, just on the rare chance, get them to offer the boys an alternative to wearing just their usual terry cloth nappies.

They thought it unlikely but were willing to give it a go.

We took our time redressing and I gave them a plastic carrier bag for their own nappies as they decided to wear their choice home, which pleased me no end. They slipped back into their shorts, as did I, and there was no doubt the new padding was very evident but they didn’t seem to care. Now they were back wearing the smart matching Edward’s ‘uniform’ and with their short hair they looked like Year 8s, so I suppose I did as well.

We refolded all the disposables but now some had been fluffed out it was impossible to get them all back in the drawers where they’d come from. In the end I found the box they came in and stuffed some back in there. Once that was done the boys looked a bit deflated but were still full of thanks and appeared grateful for what we’d just done together. The hug each gave me as they left was wonderful and heartfelt and I was quite overcome by what appeared to be the affection they had for me. I was quite made up.

I sat around waiting for mum but it had to be said that I’d never had a morning like the one I’d just experienced. Tom and Terry had both taken me on a sexual adventure but Billy and Mark, perhaps quite innocent of the situation, had just made me glad to have the heart of a little kid still in me. I’d loved every minute of it and so did they. Maybe next time we meet we can arrange something for Billy’s eighteenth... if his parents let him.

#

I was sitting on the sofa with a hot cup of tea when three hours after they’d left mum arrived home and looked fantastic. I’d half expected her to return sooner but looking haggard after spending all her time lifting and moving granny around but, she looked brilliant. She also said that I was blooming but then clocked the nice kiddie nappy and see-thru plastic pants down the leg of my shorts.

“I love to see my boy happy.” She could tell from the contented grin I greeted her with and of course she was correct, since she’d gotten me these colourful nappies I’d never been happier with my protection.

“Welcome home mum, I’ve really, really missed you,” and went in for a welcoming hug.

She squeezed me back and softly patted my padded bottom.

“I’ve missed you as well.” She continued to softly rub my bum, “and I’ve missed this more than I ever thought possible.”

Whether she meant our hugs or my padding I wasn’t too sure but it was all very nice.

There was just a bunch of contented sighs as we both appreciated the reassuring physical contact. It was wonderful to be in mum’s loving embrace so held on for as long as I could just glad she was home. Mum tightly hugged back and kissed me gently on the cheek.

“Today you sounded happy on the phone but on previous calls you’ve sounded a bit down in the dumps...”

“Mmmm, well, it’s been a good morning, Billy and Mark came round and it was great to see them again.”

“Haven’t they been in touch then?” She queried.

“Actually, it was more me avoiding them after the last time, and their mum and all...” I let my reasoning peter out.

Mum just rocked me in her embrace and it was like being a little kid again. I loved it.

“Well sweetheart, I think those boys look up to you and rely on you bringing a bit of sanity into their lives.”

I wasn’t sure if mum was just being thoughtful but, if she only knew what had been taking place in her house just a couple of hours ago, she would have seen for herself how much they thought of me - the soft thick padding I had on was down to them.

“Mmmm,” I nuzzled in closer. Although I’d enjoyed the hug from the boys, really there was nothing quite like snuggling up to mum. Safe, whilst being lovingly caressed, it doesn’t get better than that.

She stroked my hair and smoothed her palm over my padded bum. I felt a couple of fingers ease their way up past the plastic pants and check I was dry, then she stroked my naked thigh and said that we had some very important things to discuss about granny, aunty... and us.

Oh hell, I thought, had granny talked mum into us going to live with her after all?

Without even thinking my anxiety level just jumped up so whatever my bladder had left decided it was time to christen my lovely soft nappy. So as mum petted me, I was filling the many-layered absorbent front, whilst still hugging her close.

“There, there,” she said no doubt noticing, “my sweet baby boy needs his mummy... maybe even his aunty and granny.”

Had she actually said that or, being so cosy and relaxed in her warm embrace, had I imagined it?

# tbc #

[The Diaper Club]

Sorry, thought this had been transferred to the complete section. ?

[Dummy? 1-30]

Glad it's hitting the right note with you and thanks for the comment. ?

[Dummy? 1-30]

Hi Maly,

Glad it's still appealing to you... hope others feel the same way.

Hugs

[Dummy? 1-30]

Part 19

Saturday morning I woke up to a knock on the front door. I looked at the clock and it was just past 9am so wondered if it was the postie trying to deliver something. However, the knock, although gentle, continued so I knew it wasn’t him. If there’s no answer they just clear off or leave a message to go and collect your package yourself. Anyway, still half asleep, I toddled down to the front door and opened it. Both Billy and Mark were standing there in what seemed to be the ‘Edwards’ uniform of smart polo shirt and matching shorts, complete with a nice subtle bulge for those aware of their situation.

Their smiles lit up when I answered but drooped just a little as they clocked my droopy nappy not particularly well hidden by my shiny but billowing plastic pants.

“Morning Jase, we’ve not been able to speak to you much recently so thought we’d come and check you’re OK?” I could tell Billy was eager to chat and Mark looked healthier than I’d seen him look for ages. His normal dour appearance and general fed-up aura had been replaced by an eagerness I didn’t normally associate with him. However, even though I could see he was still wearing padding under his shorts it didn’t seem to be worrying him that much.

“Wow, you two look like you’ve just completed some health kick... being ill looks like it does you good Mark.” He smiled at my attempt at morning humour.

I beckoned them in.

“Mum and dad are out for the day and we’ve been left to our own devices... the first time in absolutely ages...” Billy began.

“Is it some kind of test?” I asked suspiciously.

“Probably... but we told them we were coming to see you and they told us to do just that and they’d see us... eventually. Eventually? No restrictions... so here we are.” Billy seemed to think this was an incredible breakthrough and he’d obviously convinced Mark the same.

“Well guys it’s lovely to see you but... I need a few minutes to get organised as I can’t sit around like this all day...”

“Oh, don’t change for us,” Mark quipped. “We’ve often speculated what you’d look like in padding and I have to say... I wasn’t quite expecting such a soggy introduction.”

They’ve speculated about me, well, that made me feel less guilty about speculating (and often visualising) them.

“Well thanks Mark... yes... this is me after a night of wetness and poor judgement in the correct attire when answering the door.”

“Well, I love the cute little characters on your disposable,” he looked closely. “Although they don’t look particularly happy... more like drowned... what are they?”

“Erm, good question... I think they started off as unicorns.”

“I wish we could wear something fun like that instead of these,” he gripped the excess bulk through his shorts, “terry cotton things.”

I could hear the slight crinkle of his plastic pants.

His words sort of hit some chord – “wish we could wear something fun like that...”

“Well you have covers to keep any spillage in... are they not coloured?”

Unasked, and unexpectedly unashamed, Mark pulled down the front of his shorts. “Mum wants us to see when we fill our nappies so we have these clear, glassy covers or white, slightly thicker rubbery feeling ones... they’re pretty tight.”

This revelation had taken me be surprise so I just stared at his see-thru plastic pants and to the well-pinned cloth underneath. The two pins at either side were clearly discernible and had blue safety covers. I know because I have some similar ones.

I looked over to Billy. “Do you still have to do each other’s nappies?”

Billy nodded. All the while I was wondering how this morning came to be. Not in a hundred years would I have thought something like this would happen. Not only that, but I hadn’t instigated it. Mark had taken it all upon himself and to be honest I appreciated this new, forthright version of him.

“Well it looks like you do a great job... that looks both comfortable and tight; you can hardly tell there’s that much bulk.” Billy smiled at my compliment and I suppose was pleased that I’d given him a positive review for changing his brother’s padding.

“Do you wear fabric nappies like ours?” It was Mark asking the question.

“Yes, mainly to sleep in but last night I was just too tired when I got in and just crawled into bed.

“It must be great having the option.” Again it was Mark leading this part of the conversation.

“Well, I like both styles. Certainly at night I like the bulk but during the day I prefer the disposables.”

“Yer, they are pretty cool aren’t they?”

I was not so much shocked, more pleased at Mark’s attitude. I thought he’d be dead against anything even resembling a nappy but seemed to be admiring even my sopping one. The thing is both lads have always looked cute, even when the fates (and parents) seemed to have turned against them.

“So, you like my disposables do you?” I could see Mark nodding. The thing is he is the youngest member of our group but dressed as his parents now seemed to demand both him and Billy looked a lot younger. I don’t know if the short haircuts helped but I guess we could each have passed as Year 8s at school.

“Billy told me about you letting him have one of yours before but it didn’t turn out right...” He shrugged but still seemed enthusiastic. “I wish I’d seen it.”

“I wish I’d got chance to wear it,” Billy added with regret.

“Well your mum returned it to me but, as she’s not here... maybe?”

I thought that now was no time to be embarrassed, especially as they could still see me wearing a sopping wet disposable and besides... this might be fun. “Why don’t you follow me up to my room and I can show you the full array of what I have to wear, eh?”

Billy and Mark nodded eagerly but then for a moment held back. “Erm, will your mum be home soon?”

I knew from the question that they didn’t want anyone else to witness what might be about to happen.

“No, so you don’t have to worry. She’s visiting granny and my aunt for a few days, which is why I haven’t been available recently.” This was a poor excuse so I quickly added, “So we’re on our own and can do what we like.”

“Cool,” I heard Billy say as he looked over to his brother and smiled.

I have to say this was really good to see, both my friends didn’t give the impression of having a problem with either mine or their own nappy situation. In fact, if I read the circumstances correctly, they were on a mission to gather more information about just what I had in my collection.

They followed me upstairs Mark gently tapping my bulky padded bottom and chuckling as he walked behind me. My bed was unmade and I suspect the place smelled of urine but I drew back the curtain, opened a window and then suggested, as I went off to the bathroom to change, they might like to inspect the set of drawers that held my current supply of disposables and plastic pants.

I grabbed a plain deep purple disposable and matching plastic pants and, as they were wearing shorts, a pair of black cotton stretch shorts and black t-shirt.

“I’ll be taking a short shower guys but, have a rifle through and, if you want, choose a pair that you’d like to wear for yourself.”

I saw both the lad’s eyes widen as they opened the first drawer.

#

As I stood under the shower I had time to think. I was sure when I came out from under the warm spray I’d find my room empty and that it had all been a dream. Thankfully, as I soaped myself clean I could hear a lot of giggling going on so knew my guests were having fun.

When I got back I was dressed but Billy and Mark had taken off their shorts marvelling at everything on offer.

“God Jase, these are all pretty juvenile.” I was waiting for a put down but it appeared to be just an observation. Which I suppose is just as well seeing as they were wandering around in just the shirts and nappies. They were examining each cheeky bear in nappies or cartoon animals parading around, or brightly coloured dinosaurs. “Bloody hell, you have so many... they’re pretty fantastic...”

Their enthusiasm was heartening and the more they scrutinised the more excited they got with the feel and thickness of them all. I could see their faces light up with certain styles and suggested again that they chose a pair they wanted to wear and we could make it happen right then and there... if they wanted.

I saw them slightly wavering although both boys were dressed (or more correctly, undressed) in a polo shirt and tightly applied nappies with see-thru covers. As I’d noted before, Mark’s pins had blue safety covers, whereas Billy’s were orange. I’d not seen that colour before so was glad that they were able to introduce me to something new.

Even though I’d just put my shorts on I quickly removed them and joined in the fun but not before both smoothed their hands over the soft thick shiny purple material and expressed their desire to have some just like it.

“Have you asked your mum for something different?” I ventured.

“Not really, but we know what they’re like, not ones to spend unnecessarily on ‘luxuries’. I think we’re lucky to have plenty of soft fabric nappies rather than just one or two that need constant washing... even though we still have to do that.” Billy shrugged.

I shrugged in sympathy, knowing the boys hated having to do it themselves but despite that, they appeared to be less worried by such a task than in the past.

Meanwhile, the noisy fun continued as they were holding up various colourful disposables and assorted bright plastic pants, admiring the themes and designs and getting quite giggly and excited by them all. Soon we were discussing and comparing everything with everything else and it was like a group of toddlers had just discovered the best plaything ever.

Despite the fact that I’m almost nineteen, there were no ages at that moment. We were just three silly little kids having a whale of a time and not caring about the fact we were doing all this whilst simply wearing nappies.

There were several childish remarks of ‘cor’ and ‘wow’ and disbelief that I had so much and so many different styles. I even found myself admitting that mum had sourced them and had them delivered, which both boys found incredible.

I delved into an old box of hardly used ‘Durable Slips’ that I’d worn for ages, until mum came up with this selection of colourful, specialist underwear.

“These are what I used to wear, these and terry cotton ones like you, but then mum found something she thought would be more fun and...” I pointed the array of stuff the boys were examining with such devotion and interest.

“So, she obviously doesn’t mind you being...” Mark asked as he couldn’t quite believe the childish print on a colourful pair of plastic pants, “a big kid.”

I laughed. “When I’m wearing them I just have to think about the happy little design and it lifts my spirits.”

“How have you been able to wear them for so long and keeping it a secret.”

“Well, according to your mum I haven’t been able to keep it a secret but...” I chuckled. “I’ve been anxious for ages and I wake up most mornings with a wet nappy. I also have some anxieties at work and find I feel better knowing I’m well-padded there as well. My nappies have become like a security blanket. You know something you need to feel safe with? Well mum has always thought that if it was something I needed I should have and, as she was at pains to say many years ago... it has nothing to do with anybody else how I want to dress or the underwear I prefer.”

The boys were spellbound by my little speech but think they were more in awe of mum and her straightforward, nonsense attitude.

Mark spied my selection of dummies and bottles. “Erm, do you use, ummm, these as well?”

I picked up one of my dummies. “This is my dum-dum, I’ve had the pleasure of using a dummy when I get stressed for as long as I can remember. It’s one of those things that you know you should get rid of but, in truth, I’m not sure I could.”

I saw both pairs of eyes trying to size me up and wondering... why?

“I can’t explain entirely but, I’ve had anxiety issues since I was a little kid. Mum always found, as did dad when he was with us, that if I sucked on a dummy I would settle down and relax.”

“Really?” It was Mark who seemed to be fascinated.

“Really... and to be honest, the need to find comfort from one has never left. Even now, when stressed I can suck on my dum-dum and although the problem doesn’t go away, I feel better able to cope. Mum has said on many occasions that slipping in a dummy has both prevented anxiety attacks and quickly soothed away stress at most levels. She’s a great proponent of the use and success of a dummy.”

“But you work and...” The boys seemed incredulous at my admission.

“It’s true but even at my age I have found, and received, a great deal of comfort when sucking on my dummy.”

“WOW!” Obviously this type of support was amazing as far as the boys were concerned.  They checked out my selection of dummies with as much interest as the rest of the stuff. “Wow.” They reiterated.

#

Eventually, I did get around to asking them about their mum and dad.

“How’s it been at home?” I asked in a lull in the excitement. We were all sat on the floor and surrounded by quite a number of my more colourful disposables and admiring their softness, thickness and lovely plasticky feel.

They hadn’t yet seen in my wardrobe the pile of fabric nappies or the onesies and PJs that hung there. Perhaps I’d save them for another day.

Meanwhile, I was hoping that I wasn’t about to bring the mood down but it appeared to me that something, and I wasn’t sure what, had changed in their home life.

“Actually, they don’t seem as ‘angry?’...” this was said as if Mark was asking Billy a question about their parent’s temperament.

“Yes, we’re still subject to wearing nappies but now we do, they both seem settled on the idea and we’re all a bit closer... I think?”

“What do you mean?” I asked for clarification.

“Now we wear nappies all the time they’re less strict and have time to listen to us. AND I think that stems from the fact that we’ve stopped complaining about that fact.” Billy took a moment to gain his thoughts. “We’ve accepted that this is something they think is what we need and no amount of angry exchange is going to alter that. Mum and dad have been definite on that issue – nappies are here to stay – so no point in continuing the one-sided argument because we just aren’t going to win.”

I saw Mark nodding in agreement so assumed that they thought things had changed for the better.

Billy looked across at me. “Since your visit and us being made to wear nappies... erm... I don’t know why... but... ummm... mum and dad, although still quite stern about who we see and what we do... have certainly relaxed their...”

Mark completed Billy’s sentence “frustration with us.” 

“Oddly things are looser, less regimented and mum and dad smile a lot more. They seem happier and it’s not something we’ve been used to. The atmosphere in the house feels lighter, as if all barriers have been lifted.”

“And have they?” I queried.

“I don’t suppose so but...we’ve even been out to a restaurant... as a family, which was new. Of course they make sure we are dressed correctly, and check our nappies regularly, but that doesn’t seem important now... which is weird but fantastic at the same time.”

“I still feel like I’m being treated as a little kid.” Mark checked with his brother, “In fact, we both feel they’re treating us as little kids, what with the shorts and all, but to see them happy, well, it’s just something we’ve not experienced before.”

“It’s difficult to explain but, knowing you wear nappies and you seem OK has been a strong influence and we don’t feel we’re being punished.” He shrugged as if he didn’t quite understand how they’d got to where they are. “Just look at us now...”

It was a comment that didn’t need an answer because all of us were in the same boat, wearing nappies and quite enjoying ourselves when, by anyone else’s standards, it shouldn’t be happening.

Mark added, “We’re double padded at night and when we went to the restaurant but, while it felt strange to be aware of what we were wearing, that awkwardness passed remarkably quickly and we had... fun.” He checked with Billy to see if he agreed. He nodded.

I could see both boys were trying to make sense of what was a huge change in circumstances for them and what it all meant, if anything. Nevertheless, the main thing was, for the moment at least, things appeared to be better.

#

“So you wear a nappy to work?” Mark was back on the subject of me.

“Yes, since I started I was worried that my anxiety issues might just make me have an unpleasant accident and thought it better to try prevention as a first line of defence. Wearing one, although strange in such new company, made me feel much more confident.”

“What about your workmates, do they know?”

“Well my boyfriend...” oops I’d unwittingly started telling them about Tom.

I stammered a little but Mark just said. “Does your boyfriend know... and what’s he like?”

There was no question as to whether I was gay or not it seemed to be a fact. I was surprised and wondered what the hell was going on, had I slipped into a parallel universe?

Eventually, I got my brain in gear. “You don’t seem surprised that I have a boyfriend.”

Billy shrugged, “Why shouldn’t you?”

“Well does it not surprise you to learn I’m gay?” I queried.

“Not really, we’ve always assumed you were.” I saw Mark nodding in agreement.

“What do you mean ‘you’ve always assumed’?

“I don’t know but we always thought of you as gay but it wasn’t important to us or your mates it seemed.”

“You mean everyone thinks I’m gay?” I asked incredulously.

“Don’t know but we did. Why are you so shocked?”

I didn’t have an immediate answer but my head was reeling a bit from this information.

All this was mentioned as we were all still sitting around in our nappies and wondering whether to try on a different pair.

“So, is he a guy at work? Tell us about him.” It was Mark who as usual wanted more information.

I thought the story of how Tom came to my rescue was quite romantic; all sort of Knight in Shining Armour-ish, but also perhaps a bit too much so simply told them he was indeed a work colleague.

“What’s he like?”

“Well, he’s mid-twenties, is one of the leaders in the research lab, plays rugby and looks like a hunky Greek statue.”

Billy smiled a wry smile, “Greek statue... you mean his arms have fallen off?”

“Or has a small willy,” Mark added gleefully.

Both boys fell about laughing at their own jokes and we were instantly back to being kids in nappies being silly.

I could have added something about Tom’s willy, his large and thrusting willy, but left the boys to their giggles.

Despite them making fun of my boyfriend (and a guy they’ve never met) it was great to see my two friends completely ‘normal’ after what their parents had, over the years, put them through. However, I was beginning to understand that perhaps things had changed in that family in more ways than I could imagine.

Surely, I can’t have been responsible for that as well, could I?

#

However, the was no denying the fact that since they put their boys back into nappies and insisted they use them things had altered. Maybe Mark’s hospitalisation might have had something to do with it but, for some reason I doubted it.

“Well good for you Jase... I’m sure he’s a really nice guy.” It was Billy with a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

Oddly my bum-hole squeezed tight when I thought about Tom and my nappy felt warm. Hell, just thinking of him, and all the other stimuli of the boys and nappies had made me spurt in front of my guests. However, they didn’t seem to have noticed and were back to exuberantly examining yet more of the collection. I felt guilty and bizarrely relieved that just thinking about Tom had that effect. God I hope our relationship gets back to as it was soon.

I wanted to move on. “OK guys are there any here you’d like to try on?”

Billy waved a thick blue disposable at me whilst Mark showed he preferred one of the more juvenile cartoon ones, but looked pretty guilty about choosing such a design. I smiled to myself. I liked the idea that Mark might have a kiddie side to his personality and I couldn’t wait to see him nicely taped in it.

“Great choice,” I said to Mark. “Very subtle,” I said to Billy, “but don’t be afraid to experiment, there are plenty to choose from.” I was feeling magnanimous and of course, this was all new for me as well. I’d never been able to share my liking of nappies like I was doing with these friends and it was quite a rush I can tell you.

I saw Billy in two minds over his choice but having said that, the disposable he’d chosen was very soft, thick, and, as I remembered, lovely and comfy to wear... with or without the benefit of plastic pants. I’d wandered happily around the house on many occasions just wearing one of those and it was always with a feeling of a lovely hug. Yes, it was a good choice.

#

We were three teenagers sat wearing padding in the middle of my bedroom surrounded by loads of different disposable nappies. Weird wasn’t the word but we were all enjoying the situation despite it being completely and utterly unbelievable.  However, it isn’t like we hadn’t discussed nappies before, or that the boys hadn’t had to wear them for some time. It did seem that any animosity about them as far as Billy and Mark were concerned, was a thing of the past.

It was incredible being able to sit on my padded behind with others equally clad and not have to worry, stress or even give it a second thought. It was an incredible situation – a surprise? - most definitely. Enjoyable? - without a doubt. There was a lot of innocent touchy feely that didn’t feel misplaced and I’m not sure I’d laughed so much for a long, long time. Billy and Mark had woken me up and presented a whole new experience and one I didn’t want to end.

How had the boys been able to come to terms with having to wear nappies? Had their parents somehow put a spell on them or induced a hypnotic trance? It didn’t appear so but I’m not sure what one would look like if they had. The thing was they were now completely adjusted to their nappied state and at seemed peace with it... and miraculously their parents. However, I didn’t know if that extended to everyone they knew or only me but there was no doubt about it they felt at ease around me... and me them.

However, I couldn’t help thinking the world had gone mad and it’s only since nine this morning. I looked over at the bedside clock, it was just after noon. What the hell had gone on in the last three hours... and then my mobile rang... it was Tom.

# tbc #

[Dummy? 1-30]

Glad you're enjoying it the next chapter will be with you soon.?

[Dummy? 1-30]

Part 18

The washroom at work was empty apart from me and I’d just finished changing a rather overly wet disposable. Thankfully, I kept quite a supply with me and had changed into a super-thick one with happy, nappy-clad bears printed all over. Normally they would cheer me up no end but as I sat there on the toilet resting and gazing at them my mind drifted.

How, since starting work, had I become so embroiled in a life that I’d never even thought about before? I mean, I’d thought about sex before but not to the extent I do now. Mum, nappies and my dum-dum were all that ever concerned me and I was able to put all that down to my anxieties. Since I started at Collins Scientific Development UK I’ve managed to get a man sacked, somehow made a couple of my best friends subject to nappy discipline and forgotten about mates I’ve had all my life. Of course the bonus is, I’m earning a living oh, AND, I have a boyfriend but then, at the first opportunity, I’m shagging his best friend.

S. L. U. T.: SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUT, SLUUUUT!

Yep, that word keeps bouncing around my head and has never seemed more apt.

#

For the next couple of days I tried to keep a cap on my feelings. The prof had given me more responsibility and was happy to be distracted by that. I tried not to think ‘Granddaddy’ whenever I spoke with him but I’d feel my nappy warming and knew there was something else going on in my head and I wasn’t concentrating on the job in hand. Focus!

In the calls from mum I kept up this pretence that she should stay as long as needed and that I was doing fine without her - I was a mess. With calls to Tom, despite his encouraging and endearing words - I lied. I avoided calling Billy or Mark completely and knew that they were missing me because of all the calls I ignored – coward. I was desperately waiting on a call from Terry – SLUT.

By Thursday I’d washed, dried and ironed all of the messed in bedding I’d brought from Tom’s place so after work decided to return it and then never go back without him being there.

I let myself in and the place felt chillier than I remembered. I picked up the mail and left it on the counter top then remade the bed. All the time I was thinking, not of what Tom and I had done, but what Terry did to me. There I was again, trying to divert, it was what WE did as it definitely wasn’t all one way. As a result I produced another wet and sticky nappy.

I’d planned on coming and leaving once I’d made the bed and put stuff away yet I lingered, almost hoping above hope that there would be a visitor. I even put two cups out and boiled the kettle but I was left alone. This preoccupation with Terry had to stop. He’d done what he wanted and had no doubt moved on to another. AND YET, here I was lingering. My phone rang and realised before I saw the name TOM displayed on screen, that I was hoping it would be Terry.

“Oh, hi Tom,” isn’t the most enthusiastic response I could have mustered.

Tom didn’t seem to notice as he had news.

“I’ll be home by the weekend,” he gushed.

“Really, REALLY,” I added excitedly once it clicked to what he was saying. “That’s great news... when exactly?”

“Well, the project has gone to the test stage and, with what you guys have been doing back there, it seems all has gone to plan and ahead of schedule.”

“Well that’s fantastic...” I was hoping that with his return things might get back to normal, “Will that be tomorrow, Saturday or Sunday?” I wanted a timetable. I wanted my life back.

“I’m hoping to be on the 8pm train tomorrow night so should be back in the house by eleven...”

“I’ll be waiting.”

“I was hoping you’d say that because I can’t wait to see you again.”

“Oh, by the way, the last time I was here I ate on of your frozen lasagne’s so...”

“Don’t worry, I’m not planning on eating anything but you.” he chuckled. “So prepare for a feast.”

I took that to mean my finest cartoon disposables but what the hell... I might just be naked with a splodge of whipped cream strategically placed and surprise him that way.

We chatted for a bit longer and then he said he had to go but was looking forward to Friday night.

So was I.

I was looking to get a bit of normality back or at least to drive Terry from my thoughts. And a heavy session with Tom I was sure would do that.

#

On Friday night I left work and went straight to Tom’s place. I wanted to make it all warm and welcoming. It didn’t need much work as I’d done most of it the day before but still I’d bought some beers and wine for him and stored them in the fridge. I knew he liked a cold Bud and I added a couple of cans of Coke for me. Because I didn’t know exactly what time he’d be coming through the door I dispensed with the idea that I should prepare him something to eat but there again he said he wouldn’t be hungry and he might have had a sandwich on the train.

I also decided that the whipped cream idea was stupid I could have been sat around for hours like that and even I’m not that sad... maybe some other time. However, I did put a can in the fridge just in case.

The room was nice and warm so I shucked off most of my clothes and just sat around in my plastic pants and a t-shirt. It’s like my uniform when I’m at Tom’s place and I like to think he prefers to see me this way when we’re together.

At 8 o’clock I was imagining him getting on the train when I got a call and it was Tom saying that he’d just been called back into work as a problem had blown up and he was urgently needed. I was instantly deflated but tried to have sympathy with his situation but despite that I felt quite petty because I wasn’t going to see him straight away. I tried to keep the whining little baby boy sound out of my voice but I’m not sure how successful I was being.

The thing was he had no idea how long this setback was going to take but the boss had inferred that it might take all weekend. He was sorry but said it couldn’t be helped but was hot and hard just thinking about what we could be doing.

I jokingly said that I’d start without him and he replied that he was picturing me in my most colourful nappy and wishing he was face deep in it. All very sexy. We talked for a few minutes, which saw me pawing at myself through the slippery fabric, describing those happy little figures in my nappy whilst trying to turn him on.

“Oh Jase... you better stop... I’ll be coming all down this street otherwise and I’m not sure the public’s ready for that just yet.” He teased.

“Well my nappy’s just about to be...”

“Sorry Jase, back at the office... you’ll just have to keep it until I can be there to experience the full works.”

I heard a buzzer go, not unlike the one that allows us into our building.

“OK, I’ll call you as soon as I have more news but, here’s the boss now,” I could here a few words being exchanged, “More urgent than I thought sweetheart so... speak later. BYE.”

So, I was more than a little dejected after we hung up. However, as I moped around the house thinking of whether to go home or stay the night there was a knock at the door.

I just knew that it was Tom and he’d been having fun pretending he was busy and elsewhere and was going to surprise me.

I was excited and threw caution to the wind, pulled of my nappy and plastic pants, flung my t-shirt onto the floor and decided on a proper welcome for my busy but treacherous boyfriend... running to the door I threw it open...

However, going “ta-da” as if revealing a wonderful surprise gift didn’t help the complete look of horror on the visitor’s face.

It wasn’t the expected Tom but another of his rugby club mates carrying a plastic bag.

“Erm, have I got the right number?” he didn’t know where to look.

I slammed the door and raced back to the bedroom to get into some pants and a shirt.

There was still a tentative knock at the door so I couldn’t pretend no one was in but I was now a little suspicious.

I wondered why he was here and who sent him.

#

The knocking continued but I had time to put on a basic level of respectable clothing.

“Who is it?” I nervously asked through the closed door.

“Jason isn’t it? I heard from Terry that Tom was expected home today so I thought I’d pop round and see...”

“No, sorry,” I interrupted his reason for being there, “he’s just called and said he’s going to be delayed and not expected back tonight after all.”

“What, since I knocked at the door?” He quizzed.

“No, before you came.” I replied reasonably.

“Then why were you naked?”

That was a good question and I had a rational answer but didn’t want to discuss that at that precise moment.

“Look,” the dismembered voice said, “I’m Barnsy and we met briefly at the club a little while back.”

“Yes, I remember.” I didn’t want him to think I was an ignoramus.

There was a short silence.

“Are we going to have a conversation through a closed door?” Barnsy asked a little indignantly.

“Erm, I’m just about to leave,” I wasn’t because I was only partially dressed.

“OK then, but before you do... you wouldn’t mind taking this bag for him and popping the stuff in the freezer?”

This was ridiculous. What was I expecting to be ravaged by the rugby team? STOP being a stupid little kid and let the man in and act like a damn grown up. This all went through my mind as I unlatched the door and took in the good-looking confident stud that was leaning against the door frame.

Barnsy was more like Tom than Terry, slim, fit and easy going... his dark skin and features gleamed under the street lights and his smile easily lit up the room. Good grief I’m sounding racist but I don’t mean to, I mean, he was just a superb hunk and passed me the plastic bag.

“I work at Iceland, the frozen food place, and he text me to get some meals in for the weekend.”

“Oh, yes, I’ve eaten one of his lasagnes....” I added unnecessarily.

“Did you like it?” He smiled the question as if he was doing a report for the company.

“Mmmm, it was OK.”

“Not the response the company expects.” He said it with such seriousness I didn’t know if I’d offended him or not. It was only after a couple of beats his face broke into a shit-eating grin that I realised he was joking.

I took a deep breath and hoped I wasn’t making a huge mistake when I opened the door wider and asked if he wanted to come in.

“No it’s fine. If Tom’s not here and you’re not expecting him any time soon, there’s little point in hanging about.” He turned to leave.

“Erm, I was about to have a cup of tea or some...” I ventured... a bit let down at being spurned in such a way.

“Do you normally strip naked for a cup of tea then?” I could hear the laughter in his voice as he walked off down the road.

Bloody hell, I’d made such a fool of myself and now both he and Terry will have some stupid tales to tell Tom. But what really upset me was being rejected like that. I mean, aren’t I worth a shag? I mean he’d seen me naked and perhaps that put him off. Oh hell, this is a disaster.

My ego just took a hit and I didn’t like it.

#

I stocked up the freezer compartment with what Barnsy had brought, a couple of curries, chow meins and caramel ice cream. Not a lot but filled it up nicely. I hoped he wouldn’t do a curry for me as I’m not keen on spicy food but there again, after all that’s happened I wondered if we had any future. Terry had insinuated that Tom would know he’d try and come on to me but would he tell him just how successful he’d been? I might be grateful for an invite to a curry.

I finished dressing properly, well, I put my underwear back on because in my haste to answer the door I’d just been wearing pants and a shirt. Anyway, as I wasn’t going to be entertaining anyone I slipped back into my festive disposable with all the cute characters and as it wasn’t wet, enjoyed the comfort of a nice thick bit of padding and a pair of clear plastic pants.

The bus ride home was annoying. I kept going over everything that had happened since Tom had gone and stupidly was trying to blame him for all that taken place. Oddly, a lad got on the bus that looked (well was dressed similarly) to the one who felt me up that time.  As he walked down the bus to his seat I was convinced he’d sit next to me as there were few spare places. I wriggled over to make room and could feel my nappy slipping around my groin but it was a comforting feeling. He then by-passed me and went to sit in the only other seat available next to a little old woman who had a small dog in her lap. Hell, I wasn’t even winning any contest against an annoying little yappy thing.

Well, I took comfort in the lovely folds of fabric that I wriggled about in; thinking that I at least had something the dog didn’t - but was lost as to just what that was.

#

Once home I was surprised at just how high my anxiety level was. I forgot about eating and made my way straight to my bedroom where I stripped down to my now soaked nappy and slippery pants, reached for my dum-dum and eased under the duvet. It had been more stressful than it had needed to be and it was annoying that all the stress was down to me and my expectations.

With mum not here to bounce ideas off, or just to have someone else care, meant I was a bit adrift in my own emotions. I needed to get a grip and not be so reliant on the actions of other people but, having said that, sucked on my dummy and wished mum would come home soon.

Just as I was about to drop off I got a text from Tom:

Barnsy thinks UR weird... why?

My body flushed in embarrassment and as it did so I filled my nappy even more but was just too distressed to do anything about it.

Oddly the disposable filling up gripped me a little tighter and the warmth was the only bright spot to a terrible evening. Never had I sucked so hard on my dummy as I rubbed the bloated plastic.

After ten, maybe fifteen minutes I was making very little headway in my endeavours. My cock, although hard, just wasn’t responding to the stimuli offered and I could feel tiredness take over. The rhythmic sucking eventually set the correct tone and I dropped off... glad to see the back of a truly dreadful day.

# tbc #

[Dummy? 1-30]

I'm sure that readers will know that the title DUMMY? doesn't just refer to his soother but whether he's an 'innocent' in all these things.

Does his love of juvenile things excuse what he says he's not aware of?

Does he know exactly what he's doing?

Are his nappies just a cover?

Is Jason all he seems?

[Dummy? 1-30]

Terry simply enjoyed Jason's body.

Jason loved what happened but felt guilty.

But never had the sweet eighteen year old needed a nappy more than when Terry had finished with him.

[Dummy? 1-30]

Part 17

Whereas Tom is just over six feet tall Terry has a good three or four inch in height over him. He’s also less athletic looking but more muscular and brawny... so quite a big guy, who I imagine, on the pitch, would be quite intimidating. The thing was I didn’t know what Tom had told him about me or even if he’d spoken at all about our relationship so I was a bit stuck. Now of course, he’d no doubt seen the disposables, can obviously see me in one and wearing Tom’s shorts so suspect he’s not stupid and can put two and two together. I was nervous but as asked I made him a cup of tea.

“Oh thanks Jason, that’s very nice of you,” he seemed polite enough and guided me, cup in hand, to the sofa. “Well, this is all very nice.” He said as he took a first sip from the hot brew.

“Yes, well, I was just about to pack up and leave myself,” I said edging to the end of the sofa.

“Don’t let me keep you, Tom and I go way back so you can leave when you want.” I was being dismissed but I also suspected that there wasn’t a document he needed... he’d just come snooping.

He wasn’t threatening or anything just incredibly confident and cock sure of himself.

“Didn’t Tom tell you he was going away?” I challenged.

“Of course, now I think about it he must have done. I just forgot and, as I was in the neighbourhood...” He looked at me in a way that made me uneasy and I felt myself filling my nappy.

“We used to be at University together,” Terry started small talk and took another sip, “did loads together, shared everything and had a terrific time. He has a natural talent for rugby and that’s how we met... in a scrum and with my head between his legs.” He stated chuckling at the memory. “Great way to meet someone who would become a lifelong friend don’t you think?”

I was thinking ‘how can I get rid of this man without it getting of hand?’ but he seemed to think I’d find this small talk interesting.

“Yes we had some fantastic times; late nights in the bar, the initiation ceremonies for the team. He was very accommodating at those... and very, very popular.” He seemed to be happily reminiscing and hinting at who knew what. But, if it was true what he was saying, that was part of Tom’s life I didn’t know about, so, suppose it was interesting on one level - although I’d prefer to hear about it from him rather than his mate.  

“Tom is my best friend and a really good friend...” he continued as he shuffled a bit nearer. “He tells me everything and we do... well... everything. He likes...” He teased and then looked at me as if to say ‘should I continue?’ “Perhaps it would be better not to say any more... but... he’s right about you. You are very good-looking and exceptionally shaggable.”

“What?” I stood up and tried to make some space between us. “Are you coming on to me?”

It would appear that Tom had spoken about me to his mates... and maybe even told them about my need for nappies. If he hadn’t then Terry was quick to sum-up a situation after seeing the disposables earlier.

 “Well I assume you’d like that. A big strong man like me taking a sweet little boy like you in his arms...” he patted my drooping soggy nappy. “Oh, it seems like our little baby needs a change.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bedroom.

“Get off me Terry.” I was furious but my fury is very unthreatening. “I won’t tell Tom if you go now.” I was adamant that this should go no further but he just smiled.

I grabbed my mobile as if threatening to call him but noticed that the battery was dead. Bloody hell, what if he’d been trying to call me?

He snatched it out of my hand and took a quick look to see if I’d dialled anyone. There were no bars and just the outline of a dead battery on the screen. However, he had more to say.

“How do you know that he doesn’t already know about this and that he’s fine with me tasting...?”

This was getting weird and uncomfortable but how could I get rid of him? Bloody hell, my bladder was leaking even more in fear and I bet he knew. I needed to keep up some resistance, I needed to say something.

“Well I’m not available... so you can fuck off now.” It was like a David and Goliath situation except I was unarmed and he was bearing down on me. I’m not one for swearing, it never crops up in my household so was shocked at my own language when I said it out loud.

He had that smile, a cross between sympathy and ‘we both know what’s going to happen so why fight it’.

“Look, I’m not going to hurt you but you do need that little nappy changing and I see you’ve left them out on the bed no less...” he pretended to be hit by an obvious notion, “almost as if you wanted a daddy to come along and sort out your little damp situation.”

“No I don’t...” but he was in my face and still smiling.

“I bet Tommy couldn’t believe his luck when he found you liked to wear nappies... a boy in need of protection and Tom just loves to protect.” He patted the front of my padding, “So, what kind of mate would I be if I didn’t change my best friend’s little friend... preventing him getting nappy rash,” He changed his tone as if he was speaking to a child, a baby even.

“Well I don’t need you anywhere near me... wet, erm, or not.” I sounded like a little kid refusing to go to bed at bedtime. I wasn’t in the least bit convincing.

“Oooo,” he was now mocking me, “who’s going to stamp his little footsies then, mmm?”

Close up, like Tom he was handsome and confident. He knew what he wanted and exactly how to get it. Although I pushed him away as hard as I could it was without any success.

“Oh I think you protest too much. We can’t have Tom’s favourite little toy; I mean boy all wet now can we. So, let’s get that soaked nappy off and you on to... I mean... into something a bit more appropriate shall we?”

#

I fell backward onto the bed and he immediately reached for the shorts and yanked them off.

“Bloody hell Jason,” he turned me over, “a wet nappy doesn’t hide the cutest little bum...” He pulled down his jeans and let loose a huge cock, so much thicker than Tom’s, “we’re gonna have lotsa fun.”

“NO,” I screamed but he just turned my head and gave me a kiss, which silenced any further protest. I tried to crawl away but there was nowhere to go and I felt him pulling at the tabs on my disposable. That easily came away and threw it into the corner where his jeans had landed.

“No, no, no...” I begged but knew I was completely out manoeuvred.

“Oh I think we both know your protests aren’t very convincing... and daddy wants to make his little friend happy.” He whispered that in my ear and turned me over but not before shoving the dummy in my mouth.

I tried to spit it out.

“No, no, no you naughty little boy, if daddy puts something in your mouth it’s there to be sucked... understand?”

I didn’t reply immediately.

“Does my little boy need his botty spanking first so he knows daddy’s in charge?”

Although he said all this with a smirk I couldn’t make out if he was kidding, if this was a test or if I had no option. I felt too afraid to offer any further dissent and nervously started sucking.

“That’s a good boy... now let’s see what’s in store here.” I could feel his breath on my naked bum cheeks and felt his hot wet tongue invading my bum hole. “I just love basting a little chicken before we add the stuffing.” He licked deeper.

Oh fuck.

#

For a big guy Terry was very agile and had me doing all manner of things, in all manner of positions. He filled me up several times and his thick cock made quite the impression. He was at it for a couple of hours but eventually rested and we both dozed. I woke up an hour or so later desperate for a pee. What did surprise me was that I was laid like a lover on his chest, with my fingers idly twiddling his chest hair and was relaxed listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat.

The thing is, once we got going and although at times it was bloody painful, I was as committed as he was. He knew it and in a moment of screaming passion said I was a “baby whore... a tease for daddy”. In fact, that’s what he called me but in an appreciative way... I think?

Naked I waddled to the loo, the big man had made sure I’d remember him for some time. My bum hole was sore and wide and I couldn’t get to the toilet quick enough, which was something I’d not managed to do for some time, and emptied everything that needed emptying, and there was a lot of it. Terry had woken, heard me and came to see if I was OK. Sitting on the toilet was not the most glamorous position to start a conversation.

He stood at the door in all his hairy magnificence dominating the space and looking incredibly happy. His cock, even at rest, was superb and it glistened with, whatever it was, in the half light.

“I knew you’d like a big dick... most boys do.” He teased and I blushed as I let out a bashful fart.

“Well,” I sighed, “What do we do now?”

“It’s up to you baby. I just wanted a try out... like we do to any new team member to see what they can do... and to see why Tom’s so potty about you. Not bad.” He teased again... you could really get fed up with his self-confidence.

“What if I told Tom you attacked me?” I offered as a different perspective.

“Well you could, although we both know that isn’t quite true. However, please feel free to tell him everything.” He stepped forward and gently ran his hand through my hair and made a petting noise. “God you are so damn cute. Well, for one thing he’d expect it from me, though I’m not sure he’d expect that you enjoyed it with another guy. So it’s up to you how you want to play it. However,” he was being annoying again, “do you want him to know just what a slag you are?”

“But that’s not fair... I mean...” The term slag had hit a spot. I hated the term and I definitely didn’t think it applied to me but then... what had I just done?

He interrupted my protest because he wasn’t going to let me play the victim here.

“If you’ll take my cock so easily why not others? Maybe we should have you down at the club for initiation night... the lads would love to take a shot at that cute little butt of yours.”

He said it as if it was something of a privilege to be asked but a cold shiver ran through my body. I knew he was right and I couldn’t pretend otherwise.

“I knew from the moment I first saw you with Tom that you were looking for a daddy. That shy, coquettish, demure little peek at all those hunky rugby players at the club. I bet you were wetting your nappy at the very prospect... even if you didn’t know it.”

I had wet my nappy at the club but how did he know?

“I’ve thought about you since then and last weekend, with Tom talking almost non-stop about you... well... I had to experience it myself. Like I say, Tom and me share quite a lot, a lad here, a bed there.”

‘A lad here... a bed there...’ did he mean what I think he meant?

“...and now, with your cute boyish haircut, those sweet little shorts and that thick, thick nappy... I just knew you’d want a big man to take care of you, to... fuck you. Make you feel special,” he added condescendingly.

“No I don’t.” I lamely argued but we’d just spent the best part of two hours proving that was a lie. Oh Christ he was correct, getting screwed did make me feel special, that’s why I loved it... oh hell.

“Oh sweetheart, do you ever have a daddy complex... no man’s safe with you around. Don’t worry,” he patted my naked leg and smiled encouragingly, “we daddies will do our bit but that means your little butt has to do the same.”

He disappeared and returned with a fresh Abena.

“OK then, let’s get you all nicely wrapped up cos I have to get back to the wife and kids but you, well you need to rest that wonderful welcoming arse for a while. You might be a bit sore for a few days but I think it’s going to be busy over the coming months.”

He patted my naked bottom.

I wasn’t sure if that was a threat or a promise but maintained silence as he rubbed in cream, doused me in talc and taped the fluffy nappy in place. All the while my hole felt like he was still pounding away... so he’d replaced Tom in that respect.

“There you go little one, all nice and tidy.” He seemed pleased with the result. “See you again soon... sleep tight. I’m sure daddy Tom will be glad that his little baby boy has been well looked after.” He popped the dummy back between my lips. “There you go... think of daddy Terry.”

With that he was off, I heard the front door close and he was gone.

I was left sucking furiously and later fell asleep but only after I’d taken stock of what had just happened.

#

I got back home around noon after I’d spent the morning tidying up Tom’s place and replacing the bedding. I’d brought some of the soiled sheets home to give them a good wash in our machine. I’d get them back before he had any idea. The next main thing I had to do was plug in the phone to recharge the damn thing. How I could have let it run down I have no idea but perhaps that’s why I hadn’t received any calls.

On the bus ride home I kept thinking of what Terry said about having a daddy complex. I mean, could he be right, did I have such a complex? When I thought about it I did always feel strange when older men were near. I always put it down to my own dad not being around and feeling guilty if I so much as acknowledged another man.

I loved my daddy, I mean dad, and really missed him for so much of my life but surely that didn’t mean I was searching for a replacement like Terry had intimated. The problem was that man had put so many thoughts into my head and made me even question his relationship with Tom, was it more than best friends? Not only that but I felt so guilty and that’s when my phone rang.

#

The charge had got to 49% and I saw I had a number of missed calls. However, this was mum so immediately took it.

“Hi mum, what’s new?” I answered as brightly as I could.

“Where have you been I’ve been trying to call you since last night?”

“Yes sorry, I went over to Tom’s place and forgot to charge my phone... it died on me but I’m charging it now and I see I missed quite a few calls.”

“You had me worried love...”

“No need to worry mum, I’m a big boy (oh the irony as I padded around the house in just my protection) just forgot... anyway, how’s gran and aunty?”

We then spent a good fifteen minutes chatting about that and how grateful aunty was that mum had decided to stay. In fact, the news was that gran wanted mum and me to come back and live with them.

“Just one house to keep... the bills would be down?” She offered as a possible reason for returning to the family home.

I mean, gran’s house was bigger than ours, and there would be room for both me and mum to have a room apiece but...

“It’s nowhere near work and we have a life and friends here so...” It was my argument and possibly one mum had used to granny but I suspect she was under pressure to at least sound me out.

“Yes love, that’s what I said but granny wanted you to know the offer was there. I think she wants her family around her, the fall has sort of shocked her a little.”

“Be nice mum,” which I knew she would be, “but no.”

#

After that conversation finished I checked the list of other calls I’d missed. Normally, I don’t get many. In fact, compared to some people who can’t stop looking at their phones, I use mine for very little except calls. However, the calls had come in but I’d been too stupid to charge my phone.

The earliest was on Saturday afternoon and I recognised the number as that of the Edwards so was hoping it was either Billy or Mark and not one of their parents. The other calls were from James, Kili and Ralph, in fact several missed calls from each of them and then I remembered, I was supposed to meet up with them for a sort of farewell drink and I’d completely forgotten. Hell, I was so wrapped up in my own life I totally forgot about my friends. I wondered if they’d understand that I’d been abandoned by my boyfriend and so naturally got stuffed by his mate... I didn’t want to have that conversation with anyone.

I called them all and apologised but they were still surprisingly angry because they’d waited for over an hour for me to turn up. They then went on without me and trashed me to each other. I think there was just a hint of fun in Ralph’s voice when he told me that.

I’d also missed a call around eleven last night from Tom, just about the time I was coming down after being well and truly stuffed by his best friend.

I called him and he was out with mates in the city centre having a bit of a pub crawl but we still managed to chat for over twenty minutes. I told him I’d been round at his house and forgot my phone but he’d be pleased that I’d done as suggested - cleaned up and did his laundry. He said such lovely things about how thoughtful and loving I was. He told me how much he was missing me and how he couldn’t wait to get back home.

I didn’t mention anything about Terry’s visit. The guilt simply ran into the padding. I needed my nappy and was pleased it was one of his; the Abena was a slight but happy connection.

God, what a day and what a stupid night, I just hoped Tom would never know the truth but could I trust his best mate not to spill the beans, AND, what was that last remark about - getting back to the wife and kids?

#

As I lay in bed wrapped in one of my ultra-thick fabric nappies and hefty rubber pants a few things came to mind. Briefly I thought of how I’d actually been avoiding going round to see Billy and Mark because I was scared the reason for their nappy imprisonment would have been revealed and they’d both hate me.

I was angry with myself for standing my mates up for a drink, when it may well be the last time we’d all be together. I was hopeful though that at least Ralph would still be near. However, I could see that with Tom and work now the main focus of my attention even that link to my school friends may be slipping away.

Tom, Tom, Tom... the love of my life... why did he have to go off and work elsewhere? Why had it happened now and why couldn’t I see a way to fix it. But of course the worst of it all was what I’d done with Terry. I hated my betrayal, I hated the ease with which he got me to drop my pants (well nappy actually) and I hated, absolutely hated the fact that I’d enjoyed the experience so much.

It was difficult to play the victim when you’re squealing in delight and begging him to pound harder.

Although, as I lay back in bed wearing almost impenetrable protection, my hand slipped inside the soft thick fabric and erupted at the very idea of this bear of a man making me his little boy.

What risks had I laid myself open to and how would I react when those moments came?

#

Sunday night was not a night for any kind of satisfying sleep. All those thoughts kept invading my head and I tried to find solutions to them but failed. Tom made a brief appearance but it was Terry who dominated my dreams when I eventually did drop off.

I was kept in a playpen wearing nothing but a huge fluffy white nappy. Strangers would come and ‘coo’ at me over the fence and tell him what a lovely baby he had. Whenever I found a way to leave he would just simply click his fingers and I’d come running back. Daddy (yes in my dream I called him daddy), used me like I was there purely for his benefit and my body was his plaything. He’d tickle and poke and prod and tell me what a good boy I was when I wet. He lifted me out of the playpen and told me we were going on a lovely adventure.

I woke up to the alarm going off just as I was about to be introduced to the rest of the rugby team... how I hated that alarm.

#

Monday at work I could hardly concentrate, Terry’s cock had left me very sore, which in turn made me remember what we’d done, which in turn led to me making a gooey mess in my nappy.

I looked around at the rest of the staff... did I think any of them was daddy material (you see Terry had really gotten into my head). The professor definitely was - perhaps more granddaddy than daddy - but I didn’t get the any vibe from any of my other co-workers. Tom had saved my skin with Tridwell so I suppose, without being aware, he was definitely daddy material. Then of course there was Tridwell himself, was he a ‘daddy’. Did he think of me as a little boy who would do as he was told? God, thinking this way had certainly opened up a can of worms.

The other thing that happened was that I kept looking at my phone in case I’d missed a call or text. Normally I wasn’t fixated on it but now I was obsessed but of course I was looking (hoping?) for a call from Terry - he’d become that obsession.

# tbc #

[Dummy? 1-30]

I should have the next chapter ready on the 25th - ho ho ho?

[Dummy? 1-30]

  and to you... thanks   

[Dummy? 1-30]

Part 16

 

What had started off as a real buzz to the day had trailed off and I began to feel quite depressed. Not only had mum gone to see granny and her sister but now, the one person I hoped to see me through this loss, was leaving as well. By lunch time I was reacting like a lost kid wondering how I was going to cope. Hell, I’m almost nineteen I shouldn’t need others to make me feel valued but Tom came up and put his hand on my shoulder.

 

“Sorry Jase, not my plan but I can’t not go.” He seemed genuinely upset.

“Yer I know it’s just... well...” I decided not to tell him about mum not being around as it sounded so pathetic on my part. “I just hope you’re not going to be based there for very long. Did the prof say how long it would be?”

“Afraid not... just it’s an urgent project that needs to tie-in with this one here so, as long as it takes I suppose.”

“Do you know where you’re staying?” I wanted him to be near for as long as possible.

“Yes, we’re booked into a hotel just around the corner from the labs, it’s about a twenty minute tube ride into the centre and all the theatres and such...”

I let out a huge sigh.

“I don’t suppose we’ll get much chance of taking in a show though... the schedule’s pretty tight.” He put his arm around my shoulder and gave me an encouraging hug. “Look, if you’ve nothing planned why not come to my place tonight, I still have a lasagne with your name on it.” He grinned as if this was going to be a regular invite and we’d never get round to eating that particular frozen delight.

I wanted to joke that after all this time it probably had everyone’s name in mould on it but just nodded. “Yes, I’d like that.”

The rest of the day Tom and his little team were in a meeting with the professor planning what needed to be done. Meanwhile, the rest got on with our area of responsibility.  By home time Tom was still in the meeting, which looked pretty intense and like it was going to be a while before he was free.

I paced up and down outside the office and eventually the prof asked if there was anything he could help me with.

“No sir, just I’d made arrangements with Tom to go for a drink... I just wondered if it was still likely.”

“Afraid not young man,” the prof sympathised, “we have some fairly urgent things to sort out. Tell you what; I’ll take everyone out for a drink tomorrow after work, how’s that?” He beamed at his spontaneous suggestion.

“OK,” I felt cheated and that little kid in me was on the verge of a little tantrum but I held it in. “Tomorrow then?” I nodded through the window to Tom but he was deep in conversation with Raj whilst examining some printouts.

On the bus ride home I don’t think I’d ever felt so pathetically alone. I hated the professor (which I didn’t but that spoiled little kid wanted his way and wasn’t going to get it) and when I got in flopped onto the sofa and tried to hold back my frustrated sobs. I didn’t succeed, as I was used to coming home to a warm welcome and a nice meal the place seemed empty and cold. The red light on the washing machine was blinking so all I had to look forward to was drying laundry, mainly my nappies, and a meal from the freezer. So slipped the damp washing in the drier and my Shepherd’s pie in the microwave, thank god that in my self-pity I got that the right way round.

#

Mum called and reported that granny was reasonably OK but had sprained her arm and heavily bruised her hip so was, as aunty suggested, all but infirm. She also said that she hadn’t realised just how much work aunty had to do to keep the house and granny in any kind of condition so planned on staying a while to give her sister a break. She also joked that she was catching up on years of local gossip and that would keep her enthralled whilst she was there.

Of course she asked how I was coping but didn’t want to burden her with my problems so just said I was doing fine and she should go away more often. At the end of the conversation I said that I missed her and could hear the despondency in my own voice – so much for those coping skills.

Later I also got a call from Kili about his trip to Oxford looking around the Uni and seeing about accommodation. Apparently, his family had relations down there so he was able to snag a room with one of them. He suggested, if possible, that we all meet up at the weekend for what was likely to be the last drink together before our little gang (James and Ralph) all went our separate ways. As he was talking I was thinking that since I’d started work we were already drifting apart. I hadn’t seen them much and even our calls to each other were few and far between. Perhaps this would be the last time we’d all be together.    Although not really in the mood I agreed, I needed something to take my mind off of wondering about Tom and what he’d be doing.

The problem then was that once I started thinking of Tom I remembered what we’d done that morning and that got me all excited. I went to bed and stripped down to my disposable. I’d had to change during the lunch break from the unicorns to a nice thick bright blue pair. So now I simply decided to see how durable this particular colour was when given a rather heavy pasting. I’m not proud of the fact that my Monday night was given over to making a mess in my nappy.

I eventually fell asleep but there wasn’t much absorption left if I had a particularly heavy flood in the night. Thankfully, there was a pair of pink vinyl pants in my bedside drawer so pulled them over it all after I’d finished. I looked at the clock and it was getting late but I was still trebling with nervous energy. Once again, my ever trusty dum-dum calmed me down and fell asleep relatively quickly.

#

Tuesday morning I got into work early in the hope of catching him arriving fresh from his run and eager to repeat yesterday’s start. Unfortunately, he was already there and in deep conversation with his team and the professor, it looked like they’d hardly moved since last evening. Anyway, I got a cheery wave from Tom when he eventually noticed my arrival and I popped my head around the door to see if I could get drinks or anything for anyone.

That part of my helpfulness completed I set about my own tasks of bringing up to date the manifest of stuff coming and going and the list of items that Tom and his team needed to take with them. I was glad that in this small way at least I was helping him but I also knew that with each piece of equipment packed meant he would be away from me for longer. I rubbed the front of my padding for some solace and was pleased to feel the bulk and hear the crinkle... at least that hadn’t abandoned me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me because I let flow and got a great deal of comfort from the resulting warmth around my crotch.

At lunchtime I went to the toilet to change my disposable and was followed in by Tom.

“Do you need a hand?” He offered cheekily.

“I can always use your hand.” I offered back and he stepped up and kissed me heavily on the lips. It was a long and passionate kiss. Eventually broke off but holding me close he whispered, “I was so upset about not seeing you last night that when I eventually got in I wore one of those lovely disposables you’ve introduced me to... and thought of you all night.”

“Mmmm, I did the same.” I confessed.

“God, mine was a mess this morning.” He grinned guiltily. After a few moments he realised he was at work and had more to say. “Look, we’ve all but finished with our meeting, although the boss wants to take the team out for drinks tonight. How about us making our excuses early and you come back to mine and we can... examine our nappies together?” He raised his eyebrows in a comical manner.

“Sounds like a plan... but... in the meantime I need to new one.”

“Then allow me young man to help change your protection... although I must warn you, it will offer no protection for you this evening.”

However, we were interrupted by someone coming in and telling Tom the professor was looking for him so, I had to do the deed on my own. I felt cheated but made sure I’d make up for it later.

#

The professor was as good as his word and early evening drinks were enthusiastically appreciated. The prof had assembled quite a good, young but knowledgeable team and I felt proud to be part of it... even if I hardly drank.

Anyway, after about an hour Tom and I made our excuses and left. I don’t think anyone batted an eyelid that we left together as they were getting another round in thanks to the professor’s generosity. Tom had downed a couple of pints (or four) whilst I’d stuck with my pint of Coca Cola. Once back at his place needless to say, the lasagne didn’t get a look in as we toddled straight to his bedroom and stripped.

He began to take off his clothes as he hummed the stripper music and I watched in delight when he threw his trousers into the corner and was wearing a lovely thick disposable.

“Now you,” he looked dangerously sexy at me and then said on second thoughts to wait as he wanted to strip me.

I wasn’t complaining as he got me down to my plastic pants with incredible ease, all the while telling me how sexy I was and what he was going to do as he licked and kissed and caressed my sensitive skin. I had to stop myself from exploding in my nappy from the build-up. Jeez, Tom is one very horny guy and I think it’s catching because these days I’m the same.

We lay on his bed skin pressed up against skin, thick disposable crinkling against thick disposable and our lips locked in a deep and satisfying embrace. His fingers found my left leg hole and he inched up.

“Ohh, my little bear’s not wet yet?” He cooed in my ear.

“I’m sure it won’t be long that Coke has gone right through me... are you pissing in your...?”

He smiled. “Certainly am, I don’t see why you should always be first... and my god, it’s such a relief.”

I’m not sure if he’d ever rubbed wet nappies together before but it was an experience he seemed to enjoy. We were both on the edge the entire time.

#

I woke up the following morning to my usual soaked nappy. Thankfully after we’d spent most of the night having sex, and after my disposable had been ripped off for easier access, I still had enough about me not to want to wet Tom’s bed. He was delighted to treat me as “the sweet little boy I was” as he fitted me in one of his thick, white disposables. He even slept in one himself but mine was covered by the plastic pants I’d been wearing at the beginning of the night. I was glad I’d thought that far ahead because I was very wet indeed.

Wet and sore – that was a combination I was rapidly getting used to. It wasn’t that Tom was thoughtless or demanding but he said that once we started he found it almost impossible not to continue until he could do no more. I think the term is ‘being fucked senseless’ but don’t let mum hear me swear, however, I was of the same opinion. As I think I’ve mentioned, once Tom opened up that Pandora’s Box of sexual delights I was hooked and enjoyed the ride literally and figuratively.

Anyway, when I woke up I was in his bed alone but I could hear him showering. In our sexual excess I’d forgotten that he and his small team had an early train to catch and that I was going to have to spend some time on my own. I looked around the room and Tom had cleared away most of the mess we’d made so I just lay there waiting for him to finish in the bathroom and my turn. I could see that he’s all but packed his suitcase as it was still open but obviously waiting for some last minute items to be included. I wondered if I could fit in there snugly covered by his shirts and underpants. Oh well, a boy can dream.

He returned from the shower looking all manly and athletic. Jeez, he did look good with a towel wrapped around his waist and drying his lovely locks with another one.

“Next.” He announced and I made my way to the bathroom but not before he patted my soggy bottom and planted a long kiss on my lips. “Just so you don’t forget me whilst you’re in there.” He teased.

Bloody hell, I just came in my nappy. It’s going to be very difficult not seeing him every day but I suppose that’s what growing up is all about. I just hoped he’d be back soon and as I loosened the tabs on my sopping wet nappy I filled up with emotion and had to rush into the shower to hide my tears.

#

When I came out Tom was all dressed and ready for off. I knew he had a taxi coming to take him to the station. He looked wonderful, even his casual clothes looked superb on him; he was one of those guys who didn’t have to try too hard to look good and confident no matter what he was wearing. I bet even in his rugby outfit out on the pitch he’d get a lot of attention from the crowd. He couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have him as my boyfriend.

He’d laid and fluffed out one of his disposable and gently set about powdering and fitting me into it. He took his time gently touching and teasing my hard cock. I desperately wanted us to get back under those covers and to continue what we’d been doing all night but I could hear the taxi arrived ‘ping’ on his phone.

He finished dressing me and I accompanied him to the station where he gave me a set of keys.

“Look,” he said as we hugged, “I don’t know if you want to but, these are the flat’s keys so, if you want to, you can stay at my place, OK?”

This was a big moment, he was giving me the keys to his place so I could come and go as I pleased... and he was happy for me to do so.

I got all misty-eyed.

“Actually, if you could clean the place up, change the bedding and do the laundry that would be fantastic.” He joked. “No, but seriously... from now on my place is your place and I’d really love it if you could keep an eye on it for me and use it as you feel fit.”

We hugged again and sneaked a little peck before he walked off and I had to head to work.

We’d said our ‘goodbyes’ earlier but I was still in tears as I set off walking to the office. A few people looked but no one said anything but by the time I got to work, although my tears had stopped, my Abena was soaked. I hadn’t seen him put one on but wondered if Tom was wearing his on the train... that was a thought too far and I made my nappy even messier.

#

Perhaps not surprising, work wasn’t as absorbing as it usually was but the professor congratulated me on what I’d been doing and I ended up being more involved in work being done in his office. It was quite a bit more intense but I have to say it took my mind off Tom. Although, the prof did say that what we were doing was to complement what he was doing in the capital. That made me feel better but I also found myself offering to work over so I was kept occupied but I was shattered by the end of the day.

The rest of the week simply flew by but mum was staying on at gran’s. I decided I’d spend Saturday over at Tom’s place, clean it up for him and do the laundry; after all, I had helped make some of the mess.

I got there about noon and let myself in, it seemed a bit strange being there without Tom but I was determined to make a good impression by being the perfect boyfriend and having the place all tidy and spic and span when he did eventually get home. His place wasn’t massive, so it didn’t take me that long to clean but I changed the bedding and the washing took quite some time and then had to be dried... so by the end of the day I decided I’d stay the night and finish stuff off in the morning. I knew there was at least one lasagne in the freezer compartment and that’s what I slipped into the microwave. As I ate, all around me I could feel and smell Tom’s presence. Of course I had rummaged in his drawers to find his rugby shorts and at that moment I was sitting eating, wearing his shorts over my fluffy white Abena. If I couldn’t have Tom with me, I’d have the next best thing.

At about 9pm there was a knock on the door. I immediately thought it was Tom coming back to surprise me and couldn’t get to the door quick enough. I opened it and there was Terry from the rugby club. It was him and his team who Tom had gone to the tournament with the week before, so I was a bit surprised to see him.

“Oh hello, Jason isn’t it... is Tom in?” He smiled and looked over my shoulder.

“Oh, erm, ‘fraid not he’s working away at the moment... I’m just, errmmm, looking after the place for him. Don’t know when he’ll be back... sorry.”

“No problem, no problem.” He stood at the door but didn’t look like he was going anywhere. He's such an imposing guy it was difficult to just slam the door in his face.

“Is there something I can help you with?” I offered and wondered if he’d clocked me wearing Tom’s shorts or my padding.

“Well, yes, he said he’d left a document I need for work... is it nearby... please?”

“Er, I haven’t seen it and I’ve just given the place a quick once over...”

“Not to worry, I know where it will be I’ve been here many times so know his routine. Can I just...?” and he gently manoeuvred himself past me and into the room.

I couldn’t stop him and, as he was Tom’s best mate I didn’t think I had any authority to stop him... so that was that, he was in and I watched him head towards the bedroom.

“He usually keeps all the paperwork in this little drawer by his bed.” He disappeared into the bedroom.

Off course the pack of disposables was still left on the bed after I’d changed into them... I’d also left my dummy by the side. Oh god what was he going to think?

I heard the drawer open and close. “No not there, I wonder where he could have put it?” He came back in and looked me up and down. “I tell you what, why don’t you make us both a lovely cup of tea and I’ll have a think where else it might be AND it will be nice to have a little catch up with his new buddy.”

“Again I wasn’t sure I could tell him to leave but I did remember him back at the rugby club. He was the one who said “Hope to see you again soon Jason” and had given me a knowing look.

# tbc#

[Dummy? 1-30]

I'm more than happy to be on both your favourites lists and you are quite correct Tenant to Baby is a fantastic story.

Although this space is for commenting on the story I hope it's also a place to voice your hopes and concerns and I for one hope that BabySerenity gets her adoption through soon.

Hugs to all and have a fun (possibly wet) festive period

Les

 

[Dummy? 1-30]

Fantastic, many thanks for your comment. ?

[Dummy? 1-30]

Many thanks to both of you, glad you are enjoying the way the story is progressing. I hope one or two others are as well.

I have to admit that this story has not progressed exactly as I first intended and Jason's 'protected' lifestyle was going to be the main focus. However, I felt I was doing an eighteen year old an injustice not to give him some kind of grown up life until I remembered my own. That first sexual experience was like someone had turned me on, literally and figuratively, and I wanted more. I couldn't deny Jason that now could I?❤️

Hugs to you all, and as we say over here Yuletide Felicitations to each and all.

Les