ash5150

*I have no clue why I dropped this rp, other than just falling off the website for a stretch, but would you be interested in us starting it back up?*

I don't think so. I mean, I've never been diagnosed, but then again, never been to see a specialist.

So, one of my friends/daddies wanted me to post in here. Even writing this now really freaks me out and is pretty scary. I mean, I know I have issues. I could go from being out, happy and having fun, and then litterally out of no where, I'm miserable. For no reason, like a switch gets flicked inside of me. Or I'll just get really mad. Like, I know it sounds crazy, but I litterally hate being me so much, that I spend like, what feels like 90% of my consciousness pretending I'm someone else. Mostly people that I just make up. People that are more attractive, smarter, better off, happier... I know this isn't normal to the extent that I do it. I went and made an appointment with a therapist, but I got so scared and nervous and anxiety that I cancelled it that same day, and now of course I feel like a coward. I known I need help. That, I have such awful thoughts that it scares me. But I have this huge fear that if I go into this session, I won't know how, or will be to nervous to verbalize everything. I just, have no clue what to do and life just seems to be slowly burying me and there's no way out :/

Dakota's face scrunched in confusion as Tony brought up another bottle. His tummy was still full and sloshing with the first one, why would he need another? But his eyes widened with realization as the other dropped his pants, gigantic cock jutting out from his built body. The boy could just nod his head, mouth hanging open slightly as he crawled forward. He had to sit up on his knees and really stretch, but he was finally able to wrap both his soft hands around Tony's meat. He popped the slitted head into his mouth, lapping at the warm precum that was already starting to form. "Mmm, yummy baba daddy." He said, words slurred as his mouth was full as he simply devoured his boyfriend's cock.

Dakota gasped, not prepared for the invasive kiss. A tiny hand came up and fisted into the tight material of Tony's shirt, whimpering as the kiss intensified, fully hardening into his diaper, a bead of precum forming at the tip of his dick, sliding down the smooth shaft and wetting the baby powder. "Daddy." He panted, pulling away from the kiss. He bit his lip, realizing that the fact he had just consumed a whole bottle and sitting naked in a diaper did little to deter him from being turned on. Well, if he didn't have a choice in wether he was being babied or not, he might as well use it to his advantage. "Daddy, can we pway?" He asked, laying on the baby talk a little thick as he batted his lashes and sucked his fingers into his mouth.

Dakota clenched his eyes shut as a nice little bulg grew up in his diaper, mouth furiously working into the nipple to try and destract himself. He groaned though as he began sucking just air from just the empty bottle, and with a gasp let go. His stomach was so full, he could practically feel the warm liquid sloshing around in his belly. He clung to Tony as he was placed chest to chest, that large hand patting his back. Dakota didn't catch on to what he was doing until a gigantic belch erupted from him. The boy was so embarrassed, he just wanted to die. The whole night was just weird rollercoaster of ups and downs. And now, he was squirming against Tony's barreled chest, just to get stimulation to his hardening groin. But he couldn't be turned on by this...right? No! It was just the other manhandeling him, that's all.

Dakota tried jerking away, the towel rough against his face, but no amount of squirming broke him free from the torture. It was nice when he was scooped up again, and he even snuggle into Tony as much as he could. He had his eyes fluttered shut and the rocking was soothing, but his eyes snapped open as he felt a bopping against his lips. A rounded, rubber nipple pressed to his lips. His brow furrowed in confusion, until realization set in. He opened his mouth to protest, unfortunately, that was the opportune time to slip the tip of the bottle into his mouth. With his tounge trapped under the thick rubber, Dakota panicked, and is mouth gave an involuntary suck. The formula was extremely thick, and warm with a faint vanilla taste. As soon as the boy had taken his first suckle, he couldn't stop. Not because he was in love with the flavor of the heated drink, but every time he tried to swallow the formula on his tongue, more would come flowing out. It was like a never ending process. He wanted to cry, but between the diaper, the bottle sucking, and the few daddy's he had let slip, he couldn't imagine what a site he would make. He whimpered as Tony's hand returned to his diaper, his small prick twitching against the warm confines of the thickly padded diaper.

Dakota pouted and crossed his arms as he was pulled into a strong grasp, squirming around in Tony's lap, his diaper so thick and padded that he had no idea that he was rubbing back into the older man's groin. He didn't want mashed up baby food, he wanted real food Tony was an amazing cook and he was certain that whatever he had made for dinner was twenty times better than the soupy mix in the small glass jars. He instantly turned his face away as the small, rubber tip spoon descended towards his mouth. But a warning tap to his exposed thigh and the deep grumbling of his name had his jaw opening up to except the sweet, fruity mix. The blue eyed boy pulled a face as a strong tangieness shot through his buds. He didn't make a peep though, and silently ate the soft mixture till it was all gone, not even bothering to try and wipe away any stray dollops near his mouth.

Dakota had rolled onto his front, every intention to unsteadily climb to his feet but halted as Tony told him to crawl. He openly scowled at the man, on the verge of refusing, but then there was that face again. Tony had one scary daddy face. Keeping silent, the long haired male crawled over to the chair, the task made more difficult by the padded diaper wrapped around his form. He huffed as he waddled across the soft carpet, plopping on his but as he got to the rocking chair, gazing up at the other. "Not real food?" The boy said, unhappily eyeing the various jars of food with a pronounced pout on his face.

Dakota squirmed as the powder was smothered into his flesh, the light powder puffing up from his tummy as Tony's racked across his flesh. He cursed at himself as he let out a loud giggle, the beefy fingers tickling him. He settled as the hands traveled south, his dick trying to give an interested twitch. When his legs were lifted he wasn't prepared for it, but the feeling of having a thick, warm diaper wrapped around his bottom was almost euphoric. His thighs couldn't come together and he now crinckled when he moved. It was oddly comforting and freeing having it on, not that he would tell Tony and prove him right. Just as he reached out to touch one of the colored bears, his stomach gave a loud rumble.

Dakota gasped as he heard Tony enter the room, blushing brightly as was caught playing with the toys, and quickly scrambled to his feet. He still made a face at the word daddy being uttered in conjecture with his boyfriend, he just didn't know if it was good or bad. He couldn't help the smil that spread across his face as he was wrapped in Tony's towel though. It was so big and soft and smelled like his spicy body wash. He snuggled deep into the grasp, actually enjoying how small he felt within the large arms.

Dakota couldn't hold back the moan that broke from his throat as he felt Tony's short, blunt fingers drag against his scalp, lathering up the shampoo and sudsing through the dark locks. He had always loved having someone else wash his hair for him, but he never had any time to take baths much, let alone ask TOny to do something so juvinial. He sat like a rag doll, letting the other male move his limbs as he saw fit, eyes half lidded as the warm water and sweet smelling soap soothed him. He climbed to his feet with a gumble, but other wise stayed silent as the sponge moved over his chest, the rough texter causing his pink little nipples to harden.

Dakota could just nod his head and give a sniffle as he laid afore mention head onto the taller man's warm shoulder. He whined a little as he was put down, but his desire to be held was over come by anger as Tony told him to stay put. The boy was perfectly capable to run a bath by himself! But as he squirmed, contemplating of getting up, his raw bottom stung even worse against their cloth bath matt. Clamping into his bottom lip, Dakota stayed silent.

Dakota whimpered pathetically as the gentle pats soothed his burning behind. He was still a sniffling mess, trying to take even breaths to calm himself down. He gasped as he felt a large finger push into his anus. He pulled tight fists against his chest, feeling his channel tighten and clench around the digit. As quick as it was there, the finger was pulled out. Dakota wrapped his fingers into the older man's shirt, holding on tight as he was lifted and moved. "What about dinner?" He asked, peaking up at Tony. Surly he couldn't be so cruel as to spank him AND put him to bed without dinner. He wrapped his legs tighter around the other's hips, practically clinging to him.

Daota sea blue eyes grew wide as Tony verbally berret him, actually feeling like he was just a few inches big with how the other was talking to him. He even tried to sink further back into the man's arms just to get away from him. The boy wanted to yell back, to storm out of the house and never come back. But as he opened his mouth to yell, his world was flipped and he was suddenly looking down at lush carpet, his hair dangeling down around his face. He owlishly blinked as he tried to make sence what had just happened, when it LITERALLY just hit him.

Dakota's confusion increased ten fold as Tony finally revealed his plan. The boy was going to turn to the other, say how crazy this all was, tell him he didn't want any of this. But before he could even move, big,bear like arms reached out and wrapped around his slim form. The brunette hated to admit it, but the hug felt safe and comforting. But then he remembered that the other had expected him to act and be dressed like and treated like a baby, and he just going to have that. He WAS an adult after all. Well...sorta. He started to squirm and struggle against the arms, a tiny part convinced that he could break free. A gasp exploded from his lips as Tony's large hand shoved into his pants, groping his tight ass. He bit his lip because he was mad at Tony and utterly confused about this whole situation and the other must have gone mad or something, and then Dakota got mad at himself as his dick gave an interested twitch and the giant hand. "Tony! What the fuck? No, I'm not gonna let you baby me or sit around sucking from bottles and pissing into some diaper and onise." He said, not knowing what the imagery was doing for Tony. But he continued to struggle, not sure what he would do once he got loose, if he got loose.

It barely fazed Dakota when the older man lifted him up into his lap, Tony would jokingly carry him around on his back or lift him up on his shoulders in big crowds when the tiny boy couldn't see. Resting his head back against an intensely warm, strong chest as the rocking motion soothed him. He even preened a little at being called baby, but taking it as a term of endearment instead of literally being Tony's baby.

Dakota couldn't get his mouth to work, no words or even sounds leaving his lips. He just stood there, head continuously moving to gaze at everything. He felt so confused and he was exhausted and sweaty and gross feeling from work and awful for forgetting about his date night. It just all felt to much and he didn't want to put up with Tony's odder than usual behavior. "Tony, what the he'll are you talking about?" Although he he said the words, his tiny form moved into the room, doing as he was told by closing the door and slowly stepping to the older man's side. With the high rocking chair, the dark haired boy was barely at the blonde's broad shoulders. A shiver wracked down his spine as the other called himself daddy. It made something deep in his belly twist, but at the same time, he like he was in for much more trouble than he originally expected when he rushed through the door looking for Tony. He silently bit his lip, looking at the other through thick, dark lashes. "I don't understand." He whimpered quietly, shaking his head slightly.

Dakota froze as he heard the deep voice call out to him, it didn't sound angry or threatening, but there defiantly seemed to be something off abput Tony's deep register. He hesitated before grasping the doorknob and turning it as he he stepped into the room. His eyes grew wide as he took in all the brand new sights, the slightly large baby furniture, toys, and stuffed animals. It had the faint scent of baby powder wafting through the air. Finally his eyes fell to his boyfriend, calmly sitting in a rocking chair. "Wha...what the he'll is going on Tony?" He nearly screeched. His mind was going over every possible scenario as to why his boyfriend would have a nursery in his house that he didn't want him to see. They hadn't ever talked about having a family, oh my god, he thought to himself. What if Tony already HAD a child? His boyfriend was the epitome of a man like Adonis. Covered in the perfect amount of muscles, fantastic smattering of hair across his chest. There was no telling how many harpie women would want to get their grubby hands on him and make babies together, he thought solemnly to himself, having no clue how wrong he was.

Dakota huffed as he stripped his slim body of his dirtied writer's uniform, grumpily throwing it to a pile on the ground. He had searched the entire house his burly blonde lover, but came up completely empty. He knew Tony HAD to be here somewhere, his truck was still parked in the garage. Kicking the pile of sweat soaked clothes, he stomped into the closet and pulled on a pair of tight jeans and a tshirt before throwing himself back onto their bed, crossing his arms over his chest. As he was silently pouting about how sucky of a boyfriend he was, he head a slight rustling from the door across the hall from their bedroom. Dakota bit his plump bottom lip. He had never go in that room, Tony explicitly telling him he wasn't allowed in there. Had it been anyone else, the dark haired boy probably would have told them to fuck off, but Tony just had this power about him, something that had the younger male doing what he was told...except getting home on time. Sliding off the bed, he hesitantly made his way to the closed door. Pressing his ear to the wood, all he could hear was more shuffling from the other side. "Tony?" The pale boy asked after softly knocking, almost afraid the other would actually answer.

Dakota sighed as he finally got to sit down, thin body sinking into the beaten up seat of the booth, cringing as he tucked his sore feet underneath him. After running around the restaurant he was employed at for nearly twelve hours straight, he was ready to relax to the fullest extent possible. The boy pulled his dark hair away from his face, thinking how he so did not want to write his lit paper...or do his math work...of study for that test monday. He groaned and pulled out his phone, teal blue eyes growing wide as he saw all the missed texts and calls from his beloved boyfriend. He felt like slapping himself as he suddenly remembered that he had promised the older man that he would be joining him for dinner. Dakota cursed himself as he rushed to his car, the twenty year old chucking his apron into the backseat as he tore out of the nearly empty parking lot. The dark haired boy bit into his lip, probably breaking every speed limit and traffic violation as he rushed to get home. "Babe!" The short boy shouted as he finally jabbed his key into the lock and threw the door open. "I am SO sorry. I got asked to cover a double when Clara went home sick." He shouted, rushing from room to room, trying to find the other.

Kohl rested his head on Josh's broad shoulder, playing with the pocket on his shirt as he watched Lucy move about the kitchen. He figured that because he'd snuggled with mommy all through their play time, it was daddy's turn for attention. "Mommy make samich. Can I have a sippy of juice please?"

Kohl squirmed and giggled at the kisses, Josh's lite facial hair tickling him. He wrapped one arm around the back of the man's neck and the other holding onto his opposing shoulder as he was easily carried down to the kitchen. "Hmm," he thought as he tried to peak out the window to see if it were even night time yet. Since his nap, he had no idea what time it was, but then he realized that he had no concerns about the time. His tummy was really really hungry. "Grill cheese?" He asked as he took his paci out, the sucking making his mouth dry.