blaincorrous

The most important thing to show is your humanity. Show that you have a weakness but you can muster strength and rise to the occasion. Show that you can moderate yourself. Show control and self reflection. If it's causing you pain, don't hide the pain. In fact, in my case, the pain was the most important part. My wife didn't want me to be in pain over something she believed she would understand. She had no idea, but she had a suspicion that something was being held back. Ultimately, this is a litmus test for both of you in trust and acceptance... But most importantly, humanity. And it is never to late to confide in your partner, but the sooner the better. It helps to have a discussion about the boundaries of your relationship. What is deal breaking behavior? Looking at porn? Casual flirting? Outright cheating? If your partner gives you the "you should just know" act, you have to counter with "not a mind reader". If fetishes fall within that safe zone, I say dive in.

My (alt) name is Blain and I'm a DL and I have been since I was three. For no particular reason. My mother was conservative but intelligent and remarkably open-minded. I may have been toilet trained before I was ready, but I mostly just like the feel of peeing in a diaper. When I told my mother I wanted diapers back, she give the polite, Christian version of "FUCK NO" and laid down the "baby or big boy" ultimatum. That's pretty standard experience and that's not worth writing about... What I'm here to tell you that I have incredibly great news. If you are trapped in a marriage where your partner doesn't know you're an AB/DL and you think there is no way out but the inevitable destruction of your relationship, there is still hope. I had gotten really worked up about the near-future-ness of having children and was worried that my fetish would complicate my feelings, specifically about my suitability to be a father. The weight of the pressure started to crack that carefully manicured façade those of us in the closet maintain... that careful tracking of all the possible vulnerabilities. And my wife, more attentive that I would normally give her credit for, caught on and wouldn't let me go until she was satisfied I told her what was bothering me. I couldn't hide all that inside me, and after talking around the word "diapers" for about 30 minutes... like I was breaking into several nested safes... I was able to explain. She asked several of the basic questions we all have rehearsed answers for. Number one or number two? Did your parents do something wrong? Do you do this currently? It was all over within the hour and my defenses were left demolished. I was completely vulnerable. "That's all? You had me worried. I thought you were into scat or kiddie porn. This is nothing." (Later, she told me she would have even accepted scat, as long as it was kept far away from her and cleaned up. And to give her the credit she deserves, she didn't assume diaper = pedo.) To be fair, I had dropped bread crumbs along the way, tried to carefully position myself on certain issues, and cultivate that certain understanding for other quirks of mine, but even that sometimes discouraged me more than anything and reinforced that I should take my secret to the grave. Still, I got worked up and actually hoped she would see some sort of pain I was experiencing. But ultimately, I had to rely on trusting her completely. That drop of acid in my stomach flowed like a river for days as I waited to wake up and find it was all a dream. But it's not, and the acceptance makes me feel better than weeks of my wife out of town and my secret indulgence. It's even sparked a sexual renascence in our relationship. We even went back and forth, uncovering our other fetishes... that's between us, but trust me, we went from "fat-free non-dairy vanilla" to "quadruple mint chocolate mocha caramel cake batter" in a matter of minutes. She wasn't carrying her fetishes as heavily as I was, so I'm glad she's been comfortable in her skin, but I wasn't and ultimately, having everything on the table has made this into the perfect relationship. That said, I do have a few lessons leaned. Most importantly, trust your partner above all else. Sometimes you don't understand the depth of that commitment until it's been measured to it's darkest fathoms. And second, don't do what I almost did and confide in a friend as a way to test the waters. It might seem like a good idea, but it is in fact a terrible idea. If you do come out to your partner, they will probably be offended that you didn't tell them first, no matter how you try to justify that. In my case, that would have been worse than being married and keeping a secret. That's married and keeping a secret with someone else. So, I'm now out to my wife. I have the right to free and open practice of my DL fetish in the house and she's even agreed to some of my major fantasies I couldn't reveal before. She even started to comment on how female hygiene products tried so hard to avoid being diapers that they compromised their functionality. She's going to wear Goodnights on her heavy nights because it just makes more sense than washing sheets and throwing out stained panties. One day, if I raise my children right, I might let them in on my secret life. I expect to raise caring, intelligent, accepting human beings to match my wonderful wife's attributes. And now I can do so imprinting them with love rather than shame, allowing them to extend acceptance even to themselves.