rahmi

Hello everyone.

My name is Alex I have been on Felife for awhile, but I never fully set up my profile. So here it is. I'll talk about how I got into being a crossdresser (and being trans), being into diapers and my bondage fantasy.

When I was little (3-4 years) I would dress up in my mom's clothes and that was the first time I knew something made me different than most boys. I never felt comfortable being a boy. Ever since than I would secretly wear my mom's clothes and several times I was caught and punished for not being my proper gender by mom. As an adult I now have more feminine clothes than my regular clothes. Mostly I have one piece swimsuits as I like wearing those a lot better. Little by little I started researching about why I'm so interested in crossdressing, and that's when I started researching into Gender Identity disorder. For now I need to seek a therapist into transitioning since now I am mentally ready to accept it. Update As off September 7th 2020, I have found a therapist and am taking the first steps into transitioning.

When I was little (4-5 years) I found some of my old training diapers. Out of curiosity, I tried them on and instantly I was hooked. I would take some of my mom's swimsuits packed some of her sanitary pads, tissue paper, or anything absorbent and get the felling of wearing a diaper. When I was old enough to drive, I went to my local walmart and bought one of those flimsy diapers mostly because I really didn't know much about diapers until now and one of those fleet enemas. This was also how I got interested in enemas. Once when I was alone in my house, I took a fleet enema and saw how long I could hold it. I held it for only less than 5 minutes. than I put on one of the diapers as a safety just in case. And thank god I did because I thought I needed to fart but nope. That was the first time I ever messed in a diaper. Now I have a whole diaper stash with pads and plastic pants. When I was a teenager I found a website dedicated to diaper lovers, but it was also for adult babies and what got me even more interested was finding out about sissy abdl. And that was how I can combine my interest of crossdressing and diaper interests.

When I was a kid (9-10 years) I saw the movie green mile, and that one scene where they put the inmate in a straitjacket and tossed them into a padded cell got me interested. After that I would make shift a straitjacket out of coats and rope. It wasn't until I was an adult I finally bought a real straitjacket. I started getting really into medical bondage.

I'm tall slender, and a closet transgender. Due to my job, I can't relocate and I have to keep quiet about what I do and what I like.

I'm going to make this clear here, I am not here for quick sex or an instant sexual gratification. The next person who states, "I'm horny", "let's get naughty", "suck each other off" or anything that implies a sexual encounter of any kind, will be ignored. I may sound like a prude, but I would at least like to get to know someone a while before we start developing a sexual relationship. No, I will not meet you in person just because we have the same interests because one: I have social anxiety and am not comfortable being around people, two: I have to know who you are as a person, before any encounter can be made, and three: I don't trust people just like that as I have trust issues. So please do not contact me for any sexualized activity as that is only reserved for close friends or lovers. And no, I don't believe in love at first sight.

Also please don't ask me to create an account for a paid subscription website. If you do I will block you.

I may like to act like a Sissy Baby Girl and be submissive, but if I were a real woman, which I hope someday I will, I'd probably be one of those angsty goths with multi colored hair and covered in tattoos who secretly likes to have girly girl things but is too afraid to admit it because I already built an image and don't want it tarnished.

Just to be sure you read my profile, when you message me, say what type of color you like. I'm tired of receiving messages, from spammers, and people who just say, "Hi" and just leave an uninteresting question like, "Sub?", "Are you wearing diapers RN?", or the question that I think is really dumb to ask, "Am I dressed up right now?". Believe it or not, I would like to get to know someone and build a connection. If it's not prevalent, it is now, I'm not here for quick sex. And I'm not here to just fulfill your fetish. It's supposed to be a mutual relationship not a one sided one. Also if you are married, and your spouse does not know about your fetish, does not approve your fetish, or even is not aware of you seeking a relationship outside your own, DO NOT EVER CONTACT ME!!! I will only accept communication between couples who are both into this. I will not be an accessory to someones marital drama. If you contact me and are married, I will ask if your spouse is aware of this, and if you say no, I will block you. No if's, and's or but's. DO NOT GHOST ME!!!! If you message me and don't at least give me a courtesy message back saying you won't be responding for a bit, than I will just block you. I have had this happen to many times. I would wait days or months for a response back and only to be left with no response. I'm sorry but I'm not playing games anymore. Either message me back in a reasonable amount of time or don't message me at all. Also if you are not into what I am into, at least tell me it won't work out. This is why I have trust issues and can't trust people. (rant over)

Also please don't ask to video chat or call. I don't feel comfortable having face to face to communication or verbal communication until I get to know you better. I have really bad social anxiety and it makes me have a panic attack if I talk to someone. And no I don't like to RP so don't ask.