Hadessah

My husband is an ab and he's only recently accepted it. I love taking care of him but lately I find myself getting angry all the time. Sometimes a baby just needs to whine, but I take it personally as a sign that I'm a bad mommy. We're still learning what being a baby means to our relationship and talking about it totally ruins the mood. I also struggle with very low self esteem and it seems like no matter how much he thanks me or tells me how well I'm doing I'm still convinced I'm no good. When he needs punished I'm pretty good at it but afterwards I worry that I'm abusive since sometimes I'm angry and spank really hard. He is also incontinent and sometime poops himself. I don't mind changing him but he feels so guilty I have to punish him to relieve the guilt. I think punishments should be for bad behavior not incontinence. Anyway if anyone has the same concerns or advice or just wants to talk it would be greatly appreciated.