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babynicole

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    Holding Back

    in Story and Art Forum

    Posted

    the only thing i see that you need to work on is making sure you use the right words you want to use....

    for example, you talk about the morher leading josh ( i assume by tge hand) but you didnt say by what

    Also, when you wanted to say him you put his instead.

    other than that I love your story

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