GTKG

jessm5-I understand better what you are saying now, and in many ways I agree with you. I think that for most of us the desire to wear diapers is pretty deep rooted, and that, in one way or another, we'll all always be attracted to diapers. I also don't think I plan/expect to quit for good, but I certainly need a good break from them to figure out where I want to go next. The one place I think we differ is that I think the brain is highly malleable; though it may not change fundamentally, it might take a lot of effort, or some radical change in one's life, but I think it can adapt to new situations (in good or bad ways). I don't think I'll ever be rid of diapers, but I think there might be a better way. CDlover-Its interesting that you don't have any desire to wear when you are stressed. I think I also have a decrease in desire when things are going badly, but I do know that when things are at their best-happy with a girlfriend, music, and friends or whatever-I also don't crave diapers. So I guess that's another thing for me to think about...when things are extreme I don't feel like wearing... Diaperpt and bethany-Thanks for the posts. I definitely think that our brains/development/bodies are way to complicated to ever be understood fully. I came to this latest epiphany (at least it feels that way now, we'll see if it lasts) only through thinking about various other aspects of my life, and it doesn't explain everything. All the time I spent directly exploring why I have this fetish only ever came up with a big question mark. Anyway, I just figured I'd ride this and see where it goes, and bring others who might benefit from thinking about it with me.

You're right, non-contact was not the right word (you did bring a smile to my face when I thought of someone taking the phrase "blow-job" literally). What I meant was that it doesn't involve full body contact, contrary to missionary position. I also don't mean to suggest that anyone in diapers automatically has a problem. What I meant is that in my case I think I was/am using diapers as a misplaced coping mechanism, which doesn't help in the long run. I don't think my need for physical stimulation is a problem, but I think the reliance I had on diapers, both emotionally and sexually, is. I think it would be healthier if I were to go to the root of the problem and figure out how to satisfy my needs more fully, as I never quite felt satisfied with diapers, and was always trying to bring it to the next level; often using stories I read as inspiration. So yes, diapers may be perfectly healthy, and not a cover-up of any problem for many people, but for me I think they are not the best way of dealing with my needs.

jessm5- I find it hard to believe that loving diapers is "in our blood"--diapers are not something natural, but a way of containing mess, and so there can't be a genetic component. Where I do agree is that we might have some way in which we are predisposed to desire/take pleasure in something that work/feel/are like diapers. In terms of us being hard-wired for the rest of our lives, I'm skeptical. That does not mean that I think anyone, once they figure out what it is diapers provide, can simply walk away and never use them again. I do think, though, that once someone overcomes the fundamental hole that diapers fill, they can wean themselves from diapers and maybe find something which fufills the need better than diapers can. Like I said before, I think that-at least for me-diapers are a coping mechanism so that I could still function without having to deal with the underlying need. Now that I am in a place to understand this underlying need, I think I might be able to find a way to spend most of my life diaper free; coming back every once in a while when I become overwhelmed. Cid- It took me a lot of thinking and working things out -in a way that had nothing to do with diapers- for me to figure this all out (I'm still working on it). I really stumbled on this by accident while working out other issues. Diaperwearingtigger-First off I totally agree with the notion that no two people here like diapers for the same reasons, but I wanted to open a discussion so that those who are in a similar situation might think about things in a different way. For instance, you talked about how stress increases your desire for diapers; I've never found this to be true for me. I do think, though, that isolation has something to do with it for me. When I'm not seeing friends enough, and especially when I'm in between girlfriends (as I am now), I've gotten the desire more strongly than before. In terms of the hugs and kisses thing, I think that was just something personal on my front-I needed more. I don't mean to say that anyone in a non-huggs and kisses family is going to have a tendency towards infantalism.

One thing I think I should clarify, is that the lack of hugs and kisses is equally, but not more, important than my need for intense physical interaction. I also didn't play in very physical ways for a while (mom was always talking about not going to the emergency room). I remember I always used to love it when my uncle came because he would pick me up and fly me around, or would throw me (not very far of course but it felt intense at the time) when we went to the pool. So it wasn't just the hugs and physical intimacy so much as that I didn't grow up with enough sensory input. (I've been doing research into Sensory Integration Disorder, and though not all of it fits-I think of all these things as being on a spectrum anyway-I've found it very interesting, and would suggest it to anyone who still feels hypersensitive or understimulated).

For a long time I could not understand why it was that I was attracted to diapers, both sexually and as an emotional coping mechanism, but I accepted it as part of who I was, and didn't ever expect that to change. A recent realization though, has made me question whether or not I really need this, and whether or not this was actually healthy. I wanted to post here in order to open up a discussion, in a way that I have not seen done here or elsewhere. Before I go further I want to say that I'm talking only from my point of view, and I don't claim to speak for anyone else, nor do I believe that wearing diapers is inherently unhealthy (and its definitely not immoral). I've also never felt ashamed of this fetish, (though, I admit, I have never told anyone else, for fear that it would change the way they interpreted my actions). I am a very physical person; along with being a tactile learner I crave things which involve physical contact, especially with other people. I love sports which involve sustained contact and require a great deal of physical activity (soccer being my favorite). In relationships I crave cuddling as much as sex, and have little interest in non-contact sex such as blow-jobs or whatever. I am a musician, but do not enjoy instruments that are light and easy to play, preferring the bass instruments, which require a great deal of force to play. What does this have to do with diapers? There are two answers. First, one of the things that attracts many of us to diapers is the comforting feeling of the bulk pressing against our groins and pressing against us. We like to feel the diaper; the thickness, the tightness, the wetness, etc. I am beginning to believe that my need for physical stimulation (I mean this in a non-sexual way), is one of the key factors in my desire to wear and use diapers. Second, while my family always supported and loved me both through words and actions, I don't think my parents gave me as many hugs, kisses, or whatever that I needed (I don't think this is through any fault of their own, because I believe I need a great deal more than most). While my family hugs when we first see each other, and my mother always landed a peck on my forehead before bedtime, we don't tend to come into contact with one another, and when we do its often by mistake. I doubt that most families are very different, but I think I needed more physical attention than I got. While I think this is overly simplistic, I think that no small part of my fetish has to do with a need for intense physical stimulation (again, non-sexual), plus the fact that I didn't get enough of it at a key point in my childhood. Those who are still reading may have noticed my insistence on non-sexual factors, yet I do have a sexual attraction to diapers. The reason I have done this is because I don't think that diapers are inherently sexual to me, but became sexual when I hit puberty; I had my first sexual experience, completely by accident, in diapers. After this I began experimenting and as such diapers became sexual. I then found the internet and began reading stories about people wearing diapers, these fueled my fantasies, and while at first I was either uninterested or disgusted by elements of the stories (sissy being an example of the later, pooping of the former) they were associated with the exciting bits (people wearing diapers) and then became part of my own fantasies and actions. This is getting way too long, so I'll try and come to my point. Though this is of course not true for all, or even most AB/DLs, it might not be a bad idea for some of us to look into what it is that attracts us to diapers and whether there may be other, more healthy ways of dealing with whatever problems we might have. I feel like diapers can become like a theraputic drug; some of us need them to cope with life, and some of us need them only for a short time so we can figure out how to fix things. Like drugs, though, they can be abused and be used as a crutch so we don't have to deal with issues we don't want to deal with. The issue arrises when diapers become more than an emotional stabiliser and start taking over your sex life and skewing your relationships with others. If not all of this does not seem fully thought out, it is partly because I had to condense a lot of stuff (surprising I know considering...)