So again my urge to wear them is up. I personally don't know what to do, but to me I just try to avoid going back (I know this is a DL forum, but this post fits the target audience). I live with my parents with little privacy and that a few times I wear them I often masturbate in them.
Though for me what gets my urge up is some problem I have which I don't know how to properly explain, but I'll try. I've read that normally when the bladder reaches a certain level, the bladder walls (or the detrusor muscle) usually lets the body know to go. For me I don't feel any 'walls', all I have is just a pressure on the bottom of the bladder which really isn't accurate to me. For example it could tell me I need to go, but I don't produce much urine. Another is that I could have back pains with no bladder signs (and/or kidney pains) that are resolved by urinating. Third, I've been known to drink some water when I did wear a diaper, but I exceeded the normal limit but I didn't burst or feel any sort of "Armageddon" urge to go. I mean it was strong, but I could still hold it and hold it. Fourth I've used the bathroom before showering, but often I can still procure a few ounces of urine 'hidden' in my tract. One of my siblings is autistic and I was also trained when I was 4, but I don't exactly how that could affect it. I've became a little distrustful in my bladder these days.
The above paragraph could mention a UTI (every once in two months it burns to pee in the morning only), but it's been like this for 12 years with no serious complications.
Any thoughts? I was thinking about a diaper, but for me it seems to be a pull between sexual sensations and physical relief. I could wear a chastity belt if I wanted to (even though people tell me to exercise control, a bump on my crotch with a wet diaper sets me off) but I still don't know.