Snow

I don't think saying you're an AB or DL is carved in stone. Its just a fast way to say to other people what you're mostly into. like you can say "I'm a DL but Im playing with being an AB" etc etc its just a quick way of explaining what you like. Don't treat it like a contract.

I should say that I did this for a few reasons. Sometimes its mostly out of self disgust. This time however, and I should have said this, was because I have limited privacy. I have to be very creative when hiding. I would say that I have no privacy. I'm not sure if I've been found out or not even. With the coming holidays I can't even try to hide them. My room is always where people hide stuff. Its not like anything is hard to find, but people will put bags from stores with stuff in them for Christmas. Besides the holidays, I also feel a huge amount of worry just knowing that they're there. It actually haunts me. After a few uses this time I couldn't bare it and had to free myself of the risk. And on top of that I often feel very bad after using a diaper. Its a guilty shameful feeling, and no, I don't get off on that.

Where you buy a pack of diapers and only use 3 and then throw the rest away out of shame, etc. :-\

I would like to say I value the thoughtful input you have all provided. My life is in no way shape or form controlled by diapers. I rarely use them. I think I have had less than 10 packs of adult diapers. Thats it. I don't think I've purchased more than 10 bags of depends or whatever else is around here. Mentally though it feels like a barrier. I don't want to need diapers to get pleasure, like I dont want become dependant on them. But its part of my mindset. Its something I think about when it comes to pleasure. Its odd. I want it but I also don't want to need it.

Being into this. I don't want to be. If I could chose to I wouldn't. I have purchased diapers for myself and used them a few times (probably no more than 5 times) and often throw most of them away. I just feel so horrible. The story goes on, but its just my version of what other people go through. Who here honestly deep down wishes they could somehow reverse it? I really wish that the things about adult diapers that do it for me, didn't. I know, love myself and just be who I am... but thats a bunch of garbage. I suck for my own reasons but I wish I didn't have this need. I don't want to think about this stuff when I think about women. It's funny. When I was younger, the diaper websites were just starting out. DPF wasn't very old and had pretty mature people there. I must have been a little more than 12 or 13 years old. I know thats way to young, ya ya. But then it wasn't sexual. It was just this thing that seemed to feel good in my head. As I got older I got real world results instead of just using towels. As it got better it got worse. As good as it feels, I feel equally ashamed. Its not even for others, its ashamed of myself. ugh... This post sucks. Im such a wimp for writing this. But anyways. Who here honestly deep down wishes they could somehow reverse it? I do.