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Mean Mommy, that is really interesting analysis and I have a funny feeling you are right on. Damn it I'm probably going to delete this in the morning when I'm sober and awake but I have to say this now... I technically should be submissive and emotionally I often feel that way. While I am sexually attracted to the submissive woman who is dependent and psychologically unstable, I wouldn't want this anywhere outside the bedroom. The biggest thing I look for is someone I'm compatible with, someone who is fun to be around and someone who is independent. My parents, something I usually don't discuss even with my sister and close friends, can be very frustrating due to their lack of support (even though I generally get along with them very well). You are probably also right about hiding behind that veil of 'I'm brilliant', but I don't care to look at it that way. I hardly ever talk about what's bothering me and this suits me fine because I can just forget about it. All the insecurities dissolve into thin air when I act like I'm the coolest, happiest and most outgoing person... and that actually becomes true after awhile of acting the part. But I have to say... can the fact that people "train themselves to be brilliant in order to compensate for how worthless they felt in their mother's (or father's) care" be any other way? How do you even survive when you dwell on the crap you have (and most people have) in their past? It seems that every person must forget about it and find some way to get over it no matter what the issue is. I also wonder why I'm sexually attracted to one type of person and emotionally attracted to a completely opposite type. Any ideas???

Just out of curiosity... has anyone here met someone or got hit on/hit on someone due to some embarrassing incident involving diapers or having an accident???

Here's my plan. Find submissive girl walking down street, tie her up, put her in trunk, take her home. She can live in the closet just like all my other girlfriends. I'll make her my slave. When she's being naughty, I'll do that really kinky thing where I take away all her meals. Very hot. Maybe make her pay all my bills and do all my homework too. And of course she'll wear diapers 24/7/365 and won't need the toilet ever again. I also won't change her diapers. Ever!!! I find that sexy. hahahahaha Seriously, though, I think I'm being a little misunderstood. I don't know exactly what you meant and I may have made a mistake in my wording but I do indeed know its not easy. I'm aware of the work and time commitment that goes into ANY relationship and I expect this to be the exact same. I'm just learning new things about DL that make it less odd, so I was mulling over the possibility of bringing it up or seeking this out. I also realize sex isn't the only part of a relationship and 24/7 diaper play would probably get very boring after awhile. For the time being, its not even in my mind when I meet people (and btw, I meet people in person, never over the internet).

Thanks a lot for the responses!!! From what you're saying, it sounds like much of this trouble comes just from looking for a dominant rather than a submissive. Since I really don't have this to worry about, I just have to find some submissive enough... and from there on I trust myself So I guess this may take a little work but it doesn't seem to be the concrete wall 100 ft high that I originally envisioned. That's good to hear.

I apologize, I didn't mean to offend you. The question asked about the terms' definition and I tried to define them based on what I've read in research articles. In reality, many people don't fit clearly into either definition. I never said they did. But to say that I have no idea what I'm talking about is really unfair. I've been into this fetish for almost ten years and have spent a lot of time trying to find out what these fetishes are and where I fit in into them. This is what I've found out on those sites... and it is the most clear definition I've found. It may be difficult for us here because many of us (including me) don't fit perfectly into either one but they're technically two different things. It is a fact that there are people who this is completely non-sexual for, and they do indeed tend toward the dressing up like babies, the baby-talk/actions and the crib. Their relationship is often more caring and nurturing. It is also a fact that other people find this sexual. They tend to not like the baby stuff and the person in diapers is usually under some form of psychological distress. You can call these two things whatever you like but they do exist. As I said it wasn't me who came up with this and I've done a lot of reading about the topic. I have a lot of respect for those researchers who study this, as the articles have helped me understand a lot of things about my past and what causes these fetishes. It also helped me become more accepting of what I am and what I like. So my apologies to anyone I offended, I tried to give a technical answer to a technical question. btw, you talked in a previous post about AB vs. DL. I'm not trying to divide the community and I'm not trying to imply that one is better than the other. I'm sorry if it appeared that way. I am an open-minded and welcoming person and would hate to give that impression. I just think it is important to understand who we are and why we are the way we are. Lumping everyone together makes it really hard to do this.

Okay, I wrote a whole bunch of stuff in my other posts but I think I discovered what my real question is: Why are people having so much trouble getting a SO into the diaper fetish??? For people having trouble, please tell me how you've gone about getting a partner into your diaper fetish. Are you straightforward about it; do you leave little hints; do you test the waters to see how 'curious' they are about fetishes; do you try to mix it in with other fetishes; do you keep your mouth shut entirely? I'm very curious. Please let me know exactly what your experiences are and exactly what you said or did that worked or didn't work.

Yea I've done some reading and have indeed found that researchers make pretty convincing links between different types of fetishes (Kinsey Institute Encyclopedia). So it would indeed take a lot to convince me otherwise. I guess what bothers me is how many many people say that this fetish is so abnormal and freaks people out and they can't find anybody willing to participate in this. I just don't see how this is possible, especially if what I said before is correct. Dominance and submission are natural sexual desires. Granted you are either going to more dominant or more submissive and this will affect how 'compatible' you are with your partner, but I think the form this dominance or submission takes can be nearly anything. It just seems very odd that I can get into nearly every fetish where a woman is in a submissive role and other people don't have the same tendency to jump across fetishes. I just don't believe that. I think people may have limits into how kinky they are, but it mostly depends on how you bring it up. Maybe its just me but I DO NOT like the idea of just coming out and telling your girlfriend/boyfriend "wearing and using diapers turns me on". I have a feeling that's what's been causing many people bad reactions and don't think this reaction is inevitable. I'm not an expert on this... but my two cents is to send out feelers or push them toward the fetish without explicitly doing so and they may have more success. When the conversation comes up, I will say I'm into submissive women. If appropriate, I will list every single kink that comes to mind involving submissive women... including DL's. If the opportunity arises, I will make make a joke about how a girl doing the potty dance waiting for a toilet resembles a girl masturbating and having an orgasm... and see where this goes. If she starts getting a thing for this, maybe she'll push herself farther. If she can be turned on by humiliation (verbal perhaps or exhibitionism), she can most likely be turned on by other humiliation as well... I'd go through bondage in embarrassing positions and vibrators in public and skimpy clothing and eventually diapers. If she's into bondage, I'll see how long she'd be willing to be tied up for. If you can get it up to several hours you will have eventually have a discussion about her need for the bathroom... A perfect opportunity for taunting and joking and seeing what you can get away with without making her uncomfortable. Maybe this is just me rambling on but I guess I'm not understanding what's tripping them up with getting their partner into the fetish.

Incontinents Regressionists = Adult Babies Fetishists = Diaper Lovers A person who is purely an Adult Baby doesn't make it sexual at all. They are into diapers, regression and baby play for a sense of security and escape. They feel comfortable regressing to a period in their life where they had no responsibilities or worries. It is technically not a fetish at all. A Diaper Lover does make it sexual. They are into the humiliation and lack of control wearing diapers brings to a person. It seems like dominance/submissiveness to me. The person wearing the diaper is dependant, out of control and embarrassed. The other side of it (dominant?) enjoys seeing people in this 'helpless' state and perhaps contributes to this. Incontinents are neither AB nor DL. These do overlap all the time... people can be a mix of all of these things. And I do agree that there is often a problem classifying people exactly.

I may be a little off on this, but so far I'm getting every indication that the Diaper Lover fetish is just another deviation of the dominance/submissiveness thing. A lot of people seem to be attracted to diapers because wearing them takes away their feeling of independence and control... and it seems to me that this is more psychological than anything else. For instance, when I see a girl wearing diapers I envision an emotionally fragile dependent person who can't make any of her own decisions and needs to be controlled. When she has accidents or is being changed, I imagine the psychological discomfort from dealing with something gross or extremely embarrassing; or I imagine the resignation that she's going to have to live with this and deal with it for a long time. It's not just the diapers. It seems to fit into the dom and sub category and be mostly psychological. If so, A LOT of fetishes can share this characteristic. For the bondage fetish, a person tied up has a complete lack of control over the situation and is hopeless as the other person can do anything they want to them. This is the same for wrestling and rape fetishes where a weaker person is completely out of control and can be mangled or penetrated at will. The drowning and quicksand fetishes have a person is severe emotional distress struggling and calling for someone to save them. The asphyxiation fetish has someone who is fearful and struggling to breathe. The crossdressing fetish has someone bearing the humiliation of dressing up as a woman. The bug squishing fetish has someone who imagines they are a tiny helpless bug being crushed under the weight of a person. The face sitting fetish has someone who is helpless and uncomfortable underneath another person's butt. The list goes on and on for these fetishes. Maybe this is just my view of things but it just seems too coincidental that they can (mostly) all share the dominance/submissiveness characteristic and psychological elements. What do you think?

I've always been curious about how people make the decision whether or not to use the public restrooms when they're in diapers. It sounds like it would sometimes be kind of a hassle to use the restroom when you're wearing them. You often have those tapes that don't re-stick, the disposal of your dirty diaper and the restroom doors that don't hide everything. What do you do after messing yourself? Isn't your butt a bit too dirty to just sit down on the seat and relieve yourself? What about the smell when taking off the diaper? Have any of you worn the diapers with the tapes and forgotten to bring a spare? How about cloth diapers out of the house? Maybe I'm totally wrong on this, but I just wonder if some of you occasionally find it easier to just skip the toilets when you would normally use them, especially after you've pooped yourself and/or there is no private changing area.