onzen

Unfortunately the best solution is to just point your penis down and keep it that way while you sleep. As long as you're putting the diaper on properly so you don't have gaps in the leg gathers, you shouldn't leak in that position unless you're legitimately out of absorbancy. It might be uncomfortable when you wake up, but the more you deal with it, the more used to it you will get. Keep in mind that even if you point straight up when you're erect, if you put a diaper on when you're soft it can only go up so much before the diaper stops it, and it'll stay there.

Until the ABDL community can purge all of the people who expose their diapers in public, or who decorate themselves in public with AB attire in over the top ways, there can be no acceptance by society, and there really shouldn't be. Every fringe group is judged by their public representation, and the more exposure you have, the more polarized the reaction will be, usually on the negative side. That's your TL;DR for the rest of what I wrote below. Wall of text follows - you were warned! For an example of what I mean, consider the gay male community. Many (many!) years ago, being gay was very socially taboo, and gay men often had wives and children just to keep up appearances. Conforming to social norms at the time was very important - heteronormativity in particular - and a lot of that was for political reasons following WWII and during the Cold War. Keep in mind that this was during the times when people like McCarthy spoke of red scares and people were always on the lookout for abnormal activity. Ironically, McCarthy wasn't really wrong either as society has been re-discovering, so that behavior was probably for the best even if those people couldn't be honest about how they felt. Anyway, throughout the 70s, 80s, and 90s, homosexuality grew more normalized as society was exposed to it. It was still taboo to an extent - for example, homosexuality was the brunt of many jokes during that time because it was inappropriate to discuss it openly - but with every joke comes more exposure, for better or for worse. That said, repeated display of this in the media, whether the historical portrayal of gays or some of the modern examples of ABDLs, set up the individual for chastisement should they reveal themselves to anybody else. Back in the day, many men outed themselves anyway and generally found acceptance and understanding among those with which they were close. Many others had negative experiences, of course, and there's lots of reasons behind that too. In general, though, I think there is one crucial point: I think the gay men that found the most acceptance were those that were viewed as leading a virtuous lifestyle and not a degenerate one. For example, if you already have the respect of friends and family for being kind and just, and are seen as having agreeable moral principles, there is a certain image of you and what you do. If you change that image by adding the "but I'm also gay" part, it may be a bit of a shock, but those who know you are aware you've probably been gay for as long as they've known you and it changes nothing about the rest of your character. As a counterpoint, if you are conducting yourself in a way that is morally reprehensible (keep in mind you are being judged by your close relationships and/or society here, so this morality is relative to an extent) people will use what they think is your deviancy to explain all of your behavior that they dislike or disapprove of. It's scapegoating through and through, but that's how it works. I think the gay community went wrong by allowing pride parades and forcing themselves into the public eye in such an inappropriate way. It seems like the most degenerate of them became the public representation of what it was to be a gay man. Imagine how the public would perceive gay men if pride events were simply scores of well dressed, well groomed men walking down a street, and affirming that yes, they are gay, and no, you can't tell just by looking. There would be not one flaw or negative side with which any observer could find fault. Instead, we see again and again the over the top displays of debauchery and the total absence of any morality or consideration of others. Most gay pride events have streets full of naked or nearly naked men, blatant sexual activity, and behavior that certainly would not generate respect from society at large, and all of that is exposed to the public for anyone to see. I think that's why it took so long for gay rights to become a thing, in fact, because the gay community was lead by a visible and vocal minority and were constantly presenting themselves in the most inappropriate way possible. It's as if they thought any attention is good attention, but unfortunately in the real world that's not always true. Consider also those pride events provoke a great many people to assume all gay people are like those seen in the media. That causes a lot of very polarized judgment and bias to form. But can you really blame them for feeling that way? Their most memorable exposure to homosexuality is literally naked men parading down public streets, and they have seen how homosexuality slowly went from total obscurity into the limelight. Is it any surprise they are resistant to laws and social behavior moving towards one of more acceptance of homosexuality? Is it so surprising when they see a gay character acting responsibly and respectably on TV they lump that character in with the rest of them? It might not be fair, but that's how society works, and the easiest way to gain acceptance is not to fundamentally change the values of society, but to simply become more acceptable to society yourself. It may take longer because you're not forcing acceptance down people's throats, yes, but there will never be the negative stigma attached to a person considered "different" if their character cannot be perjured by others. Those same stigmas, judgments, and rules of the game apply to all of us ABDLs too. Everyone who dresses inappropriately in public - whether appearing excessively babyish or exposing their diapers with reckless abandon - is effectively damaging our public image more than any invented media portrayal could. We are in control of our own image, and if we want to seek acceptance, we have to be okay with who we allow to represent us, and express strong disapproval of those who reflect on us poorly. We know this is true - we all see the news stories and cringe when someone in diapers does something stupid, and we see the interviews that ABDLs volunteer to give and would come across as quite extreme to the average person. As much as we all may want to remove the stigma of adults wearing diapers in general - certainly something that ABDLs and those who wear for medical reasons would benefit from - every time ABDLs are portrayed in media and they do not look 100% dyed-in-the-wool NORMAL we are increasing that stigma, not relieving it. We're potentially making life worse for people with incontinence - every ABDL thrust into the public eye increases the chances of an incontinent person being judged because they too wear diapers. Long story short - and it's been a long post - the best thing we could do for our public image, outside of not having one at all, is to let regular men and women be our representatives. People that look average, dress normally, and participate in society like everyone else. They have to be so normal that you'd never guess they were ABDLs. And if those people are willing to speak simply and frankly that they wear diapers, whether because of want or need, that will be the image recalled in people's heads when they hear about ABDLs or adults wearing diapers. And that approach might actually get us somewhere. That said, like many people in this thread have already said, for now I'd personally prefer to have no public image at all and not seek any kind of acceptance from society. I have a hunch that the people that most often want the public to accept the ABDL lifestyle are the people who themselves struggle the most to accept their own kinks. They want to remove the social stigma so they won't feel the stigma about themselves.