incontmargs

An update: Still going strong. Ever since I committed, I've been wearing diapers 24/7. At first, I was still voiding in the toilet, but now I've started just voiding in my diapers. Today was a two-mess kind of day. Woke up, messed, changed and then went to class in a clean fresh diaper. Also started anal training with my butt plugs, and boy do they help with bowel movements. Ended up needing to shit after wearing the butt plug all day in class (I kept shifting in my seat cause it was so uncomfortable at times), so came home and messed in my diaper again. Yesterday, I was trying so hard to make messies that I ended up peeing myself in public. Had to ask my partner to bring a spare change of pants to a bathroom for me. I literally love him so much. He saved me in that moment, it was really terrifying. I felt so much shame and embarrassment. I started to question everything. Did I really want to be diaper dependent? Today I talked to my therapist about it. She gave me the advice that I should view it as something innate in me, an identity that can't be helped, rather than viewing it as something to shame or get rid of or something where I need to figure out the "cause." Anyways, after wearing a butt plug for about two days in a row plus messing two days in a row, I've actually noticed a tiny bump hanging out of my butt hole? That can't be prolapse already, can it? That would be crazy if I already caused permanent damage after two days of just consistent wearing of a medium sized butt plug. Kind of in shock, also feeling weird about it? but at the same time, feeling nervous and excited, and also settling into life in diapers 24/7. My butthole feels so much looser and more relaxed. I also saw some anal mucus today while shitting? Not sure if that's okay tbh. I also have always been a dribbler, and with urinary incontinence I'm now a consistent dribbler into my diaper. this is all so crazy. I honestly have never felt more safe? or like, comforted. Weird emotions for me. I feel like I don't have a care in the world, except if I'm wet or dirty and need a change. and that's kind of freeing I guess. Anyways, still going strong. Just wanted to update I guess. and feeling more and more like I am truly going to be incontinent, or maybe already am to some degree?

awww thanks so much for posting an update! I've actually been following your posts, so it's nice to see you post on mine hehe. Ahhhh yes this is exactly how I feel too!!! Glad we were able to find a way to put it into words!

Yes, it is definitely still settling in, the reality of the situation! Honestly, thank you so much for validating all of my feelings. You're right. It is wrapped up in other feelings and desires, but also you're right that my body seems to be naturally becoming incontinent already? I've worn diapers on and off for about 2/3 years, but definitely not enough for it to physically damage me. More likely it's psychologically pushing me to be incontinent somehow? Also, I've been listening to hypnosis for years lol so maybe that sort of reprogramming is starting to kick in as well. Thank you for the good luck wishes. Will definitely keep people updated, if people are interested haha.

Hey yall! incontmargs here. I dunno why I made my username incontmargs when I guess I'm not officially incontinent, but I suppose part of the journey is believing I'm incontinent right now, here and now. I wanted to talk about a few things that started my 24/7 journey, which I suppose this blog makes it official: I'm on a 24/7 journey of being urinary incontinent, with bowel incontinence maybe coming down the line? If it happens naturally? The first thing that got me thinking about incontinence was, well, I literally had an urge incontinence accident. At least, that's what my doctors called it. I was in the elevator rushing home to pee when all of a sudden I was peeing...right there...in the elevator. Around that time, I remembered a few times last spring when I was drunk or coming back from parties and ended up peeing in my dress. It was raining at the time, so it was fine and nobody noticed. But I noticed. I also had to pee on the street several times. I would squat and pull down my pants (at night and in the dark, so nobody saw) because I just knew I wasn't going to make it home. So, there it was. A urologist telling me I was urge incontinent. Crazy. I've been an ab/dl enthusiast for a number of years. I've gone through the classic binge and purge cycles of wearing and not wearing diapers, being into ab/dl and not being into ab/dl. And yet, for some reason, the fact that someone was telling me I was urge incontinent came as a shock. I was embarrassed. What if I had caused this myself? And then, I realized. So what if I had caused it myself? Slowly I've started to realize, through the support of this website, that if I want to be incontinent, if I want to be dependent on diapers, so be it? The fact that I'm already urge incontinent is probably due to some medications I've taken for years, which nobody told me would make me have an overactive bladder or need to pee more. Or, it's due to the fact that I've mentally trained myself to not control when I've peed. Either way, I can want to be in diapers. I can want to be incontinent. And all that is totally fine and justified. Right? At least I hope so. Or maybe I'm deranged and crazy. Idrk. On an impulse, after recently getting paid, I spent $30 on etsy asking a witch/priestess/someone to fulfill two wishes. One of the wishes was, you guessed it, to shamelessly have the urge to urinate and use my diapers at all times. She was great. She sent me pictures of the wish ritual and it all felt legit. She said I have to believe it's going to come true, and that there's a guarantee of 7 months. Well. The ritual was this morning. And you know what. I believe this shit. I'm ready. I've been in diapers for the past four days: 24/7, except for showering and also using the bathroom for #2. To be honest, I'm not sure I buy the sentiment that if I'm going to be urinary incontinent, I have to be bowel incontinent or dual incontinent as well. I've read that sphincter relaxation for bladder incontinent people over time will cause slight bowel incontinence and skid marks in the diapers. I think I'd be fine with that. Like if it comes naturally, it comes naturally. That's sick. But, I don't know if I'm going to void #2 in my diapers much at all, like the 12 month program suggests. However, I am thinking about constantly keeping my sphincter relaxed and not tensing up after I use #2. And maybe will try to be on a routine bowel movement after meals or when I change after meals. Lastly, I listen to hypnosis. Yesterday, I accidentally listened to https://archive.org/details/ABDL-Hypnosis for like over 12 hours. Basically for 4 hours before bed, and then 8 hours while sleeping. I just played it and kept listening. I was also sick so it made it easier to just sit in bed and nap and pee. Hypnosis is interesting. I kind of feel like it works for me? It helps me feel like...convinced? Or like I'm getting over the mental block and shame? It helps me accept that like...I want to be incontinent..I like diapers...I need to be in diapers...that is who I am. And those beliefs help me to feel validated in what I'm doing? Maybe I do have that BiiD (body integrity identity disorder) because it genuinely feels like I'm meant to not have control over my bladder (and I guess maybe my bowels eventually) and my body was born the wrong way -- with bladder control. Also, it's Thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I've started to get used to wearing diapers around campus; but, it is during Thanksgiving break. I'm scared if I'll have the guts to keep up 24/7 during the school year when campus is bustling. I've already bought over 4 packs of diapers. I've started to use actual incontinence diapers instead of ab/dl diapers, because they're just cheaper. After I run out of these, though, I hope to transition to cloth diapers with inserts as that seems the most economical. I've already spent way too much money on diapers and onesies. I'll literally have to go pick them up from my P.O. Box and have like 7 packages, one of which is baby wipes that came without a covering. So everyone will see I bought baby wipes! Oh dear. I have never once bed wet or wet in my sleep. That would be the dream though. I have leaked on my bed just chilling a number of times though, not while asleep, so I purchased a waterproof mattress cover as well for protection. Currently, when I wake up, I just try to drink more water, pee, then fall asleep, as per the twelve month program. This is the second time I've started a 24/7 journey. The first time, after about 2 months, in a rather extreme purge part of the cycle, I deleted all of my accounts and posts. This time, I hope to not delete anything and stick to it! Even if I decide that I want to take a break from it, I should remember the ultimate goal of being completely incontmargs! Anyways. Maybe someone will read this? And make me feel a little less alone in this journey?