Chels in Ribbons

I was bragging to my therapist about how well received this story has been and used this comment as an example XD I've been thinking lately about trying to get some art done of some of the major characters--Rei, Ms. Akiyama, and Riley for certain--and I'd love to commission a fan of the story if I can! So, if you are an artist who takes commissions and are interested in potentially taking on this job, send me some art samples! That said! Here ya go: Chapter Thirty-Eight Hillridge High School for Young Adult Girls was a small, one-story brick building tucked in the middle of a little suburban neighborhood in Greenham. Just a few streets from Rei Akiyama’s house, it was close enough for the girl to walk there from her home. And, indeed, she would be doing so every day starting next week. Today, however, she arrived at the school in the passenger seat of Ms. Akiyama’s black sedan. In front of the building was a large parking bay for the buses that ushered students who lived farther away between their homes and school. It was, however, the middle of the school day as the pair pulled into the lot; there was but one lonely bus parked as far away from the building as possible. As her mother parked in the space closet to the front of the building, Rei noticed a second parking lot off to the side of the building. This one was filled almost to the brim. Rei quickly realized these must be faculty cars—it wasn’t like many of the students were old enough to have their driver’s license. “Come on,” Ms. Akiyama prompted as the shut the car’s engine off and began climbing out of the car. Rei silently followed her lead. As they approached the front doors of the school, the one-story building may as well have been a massive, foreboding castle looming up into the clouds. Rei imagined dark clouds gathering behind it with forked bolts of lightning shooting towards the ground. Her mother held the door open for her and gestured for her to go first. At first glance, at least, the school looked relatively normal. That is, like any other high school meant for actual teenagers. The walls were all white-washed brick, and a banner hung in the foyer welcoming people entering the building to Hillridge High. Immediately to Rei’s right, she could see a cafeteria through multiple sets of double doors. It was empty at the moment save for a janitor diligently mopping the floor and the cafeteria workers she could glimpse through the open doors to the kitchen. On one stretch of white-washed brick between two sets of doors was a colorful mural of a humanoid white rabbit wearing a cupcake print apron with pastel pink trim. The rabbit was standing in front of an open oven holding a holding a tray of cupcakes she had, presumably, just taken out of the oven. It seemed to have escape the artist that cupcakes do not come out of the oven already frosted. Some text below the painting identified the rabbit as “Hazel Hare.” To her left was a door with a clear glass window set in the upper half. Black block letters were printed across the glass: “Office.” A large window to the right of the door showed a room with various desks with more doors leading deeper into the office. Directly in front of Rei, beyond the opening foyer, was a bay of lockers, but there wasn’t a single student in sight. Ms. Akiyama followed Rei through the door and, taking her daughter’s hand, headed directly towards the office door. “Hi!” A middle-aged woman with half-moon glasses greeted them brightly as they entered. Her desk was cluttered with little tchotchkes, and she wore a loose-knit cardigan over her white blouse. A name plate at the front of her desk read “Mrs. White.” “Can I help you?” She asked. “I hope so!” Ms. Akiyama replied, just as bright and cheery. “I’m here to register my daughter to attend school here.” “Wonderful!” Mrs. White replied, her face genuinely lighting up. She pulled one of the side drawers of her desk out and began rummaging through it. “Was she attending a different school previously?” “Yes, Greenham Community College.” “Oh, I see,” Mrs. White said seriously and nodded a little too knowingly for Rei’s ease of mind. “Well, I’m sure you’ll be much happier with the education you daughter receives here at Hillridge,” she smiled, again a little too knowingly, as she pulled out a bundle of papers all stapled together. “Here you go,” she handed them to Ms. Akiyama, “you’ll need to fill these out first and foremost. Once you do that,” she reached into another drawer and pulled out a clipboard with a pen attached by a small chain and handed it off to Ms. Akiyama as well, “we can get the whole process started. You may take a seat just over there while you complete the forms.” “Thank you so much,” Ms. Akiyama said, slipping the paperwork under the clip and leading Rei towards the row of chair against one wall. As her mother settled into start working on the paperwork, Rei did her best to look around the office from the vantage point of her chair. From this angle, however, she couldn’t really make anything out through the various doors and hallways off the big main room. “You can get up and look around, sweetheart,” Mrs. White said, noticing Rei trying to look around, “as long as it’s okay with your mom, anyway.” Ms. Akiyama looked up from the paperwork, smiled, and nodded at Rei, giving silent permission. “You might as well start to get to know your new school,” Mrs. White said as Rei stood up, “just don’t go too far, okay?” And then she turned her attention back to her computer screen. Hesitantly, Rei began walking deeper into the office. There were a total of four desks in the room, each occupied by a different middle-aged woman. Rei did not approach any of them, and they only looked up and silently smiled at her as she passed by. To the left, just pass the row of chairs, a hallway led off the main room before turning to the right further down. By the looks of it, it seemed to be filled with the offices of various administrators in the school. To the right, directly across from the hallway, was a door that led into what looked like a mailroom. A man with salt and pepper hair was standing in front of the copier machine, which whirred and buzzed with its work. Further down, the next door to the right led to what was clearly a nurse’s office. Towards the back of the office was a small alcove with a tall table with a padded top. There was a curtain in the entrance way, but the alcove was currently unoccupied and the curtain stood open. A small cart on wheels stood just outside the alcove, brimming with spare diapers, packages of wipes, and bottles of powder. If there was any doubt what the cart or the alcove were for, a laminated sign hung on the cart that read “Changing Supplies.” Rei felt her whole body blush. “Well, you’re a new face,” a soft voice said as a figure appeared in the doorway of the nurse’s office. The owner of the voice was a young woman—maybe too young. Rei found herself wondering if she was an emancipated minor, but that seemed unlikely if not impossible. She had wavy, dull red, almost rusty hair and wore a white coat over a pair of black slacks and a purple blouse. “You must be new here.” “Yes, or no, not quite anyway,” Rei stumbled over her reply, “I’m, uh, starting next week.” “Ah, I see!” The woman replied excitedly. “Well, welcome to Hillridge, I suppose! I’m Ms. Blythe—I’m the head nurse here at Hillridge, and this is the main nurse’s office!” “Main?” Rei asked, cocking her head quizzically, “is there more than one nurse’s office?” She was quite certain she only ever remembered there being one nurse’s office at any school she had attended before. Ms. Blythe smiled, and Rei could have sworn she saw a hit of condescension in the smile. “Of course, sweetheart!” Ms. Blythe explained, “Hillridge has too many students for me to accommodate all of their needs on my own!” Rei processed this for a second, then provided her own dreadful translation. There were too many diaper changes for her to handle on her own. “What’s your name, sweetheart?” “Rei.” “Well, Rei, will we be seeing a lot of you at the nurse’s stations?” Rei might have imagined it, but she was quite sure Ms. Blythe made a quick, appraising glance downward towards Rei’s waist. “Oh, uhm, no,” Rei could feel herself blushing. She had never been so directly asked if she wore diapers, and the fact that she could technically no longer say no honestly was more than her ego could handle at the moment. “Good for you,” Ms. Blythe responded, which just made Rei blush even harder. “Well, it was lovely meeting you, Rei! I hope you enjoy your time here at Hillridge!” Rei mumbled a thank you and turned to return back to her seat next to her mother—her desire for further exploration had been sufficiently snuffed out.

I grew up listening to Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, etc. But I'm going to make a controversial statement: While some songs have stood the test of time, music has gotten better since then! And, of course, as we all know, My Chemical Romance perfected music.

I'm actually just now realizing I haven't updated my age since I like first filled out my profile! I like 80's rock too, it's just not the vibe I feel for this story!

I feel like y'all are being so judgy about my music tastes 😅

By the by, I don't know if anyone will be interested in this, but here's the playlist to the soundtrack of this book (note: this is in no particular order and is a living document): "You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison" -- My Chemical Romance (of course, right?) "All We Ever Wanted" -- Hey Violet "All-American Bitch" -- Olivia Rodrigo "Rebel Girl" -- Bikini Kill "Teenagers" -- My Chemical Romance "The Only Hope for Me is You" -- My Chemical Romance "Americana" -- Offspring "Just a Girl" -- No Doubt "Style" -- Taylor Swift "Bad Reputation" -- Joan Jett & the Blackhearts "if we lived on the moon" -- vivi rincon "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" -- My Chemical Romance "The Sharpest Lives" -- My Chemical Romance "More Than a Friend" -- girli "Kids in America" -- The Muffs "The Kids Aren't Alright" -- The Offspring "brutal" -- Olivia Rodrigo "Heathens" -- Twenty One Pilots "The Kids from Yesterday" -- My Chemical Romance "My Way Home is Through You" -- My Chemical Romance "teenage dream" -- Olivia Rodrigo "Vigilante Shit" -- Taylor Swift "I Did Something Bad" -- Taylor Swift "Mama" -- My Chemical Romance "Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)" -- My Chemical Romance "Famous Last Words" -- My Chemical Romance "American Idiot" -- Green Day "Life During Wartime" -- Moon Walker "Regular People" -- Moon Walker "Bulletproof Heart" -- My Chemical Romance "Demolition Lovers" -- My Chemical Romance "AMBULANCE" -- My Chemical Romance "The Light Behind Your Eyes" -- My Chemical Romance It's pretty MCR heavy but like...what did you expect?

Oh, faithful and patient readers. We're back. Without further ado: Chapter Thirty-Five The Greenham Post Wednesday, October 18th Special Session of Congress Closes as HaRPR Act Passes Nearly Unanimously. Congress called their special session to a close late Tuesday after passing the Hayes Reassessment, Protection, and Rehabilitation (HaRPR) Act. The bill passed with an 81-19 majority in the Senate and a 398-37 majority in the House. In the opening remarks of the special session, Senator Kyles, one of the authors of the HaRPR Act, impressed upon his colleagues the idea that “no sweeping social reform can be complete with the passage of one bill,” stressing that it was congress’ “duty to continue to revisit the laws we have passed to ensure that they are functioning as we intended and creating the greatest amount of good for our citizens.” In the spirit of this sentiment, the authors of the HaRPR Act set out to correct what they saw as oversights of the original Hayes Act while also strengthening the power of the law and providing improved guidelines for the rehabilitation and re-assimilation of criminal offenders. While the HaRPR Act successfully provides many improvements to the popular Hayes Act, it has not been without controversy. Under the Protection clauses of the bill, The HaRPR Act criminalizes many forms of protest specifically aimed at criticizing the Hayes Act and expands the definition of domestic terrorism as it applies to acts committed in protest of the Hayes Act. It also provides updated, and in most cases harsher, legal penalties for such crimes. Under the HaRPR Act, male defendants found guilty of such acts of criminal protest or domestic terrorism face penalties of up to and including life in prison while female defendants found guilty of similar crimes may face permanent revocation of majority status and mandatory rehabilitation at state-sponsored rehabilitation centers. “Today, we have enacted the will of the people of the United States,” Senator Williams, a longtime supporter of the Hayes Act, said in a press conference late last night, “this new bill will work to preserve the societal values we codified in the original Hayes Act by ensuring that those determined to undermine our morals and principles will be harshly punished.” In a separate press conference, long-time Hayes Act opponent Senator Saunders criticized the new amendment, claiming that it seeks to “disenfranchise and silence the voice of American citizens who dissent to the increasingly fascist practices of the party currently in power while enshrining a controversial act as an untouchable law of the land.” Experts on both sides have pointed out that under the new amendment, Senator Saunders scathing criticism of the new amendment may be considered a criminal act of protest. President Charles Sherman Richardson is expected to sign the HaRPR Act into law in a press event Wednesday afternoon. …Con’t on Pg23 Chapter Thirty-Six Dr. Emma Welles found it took a surprisingly large amount of effort not to clutch the few sheets of paper in her hand with the kind of white-knuckled grip that would tear the paper and give away her nervousness. She stood in the wings of the small stage, a young man with a headset and a clipboard next to her. On the stage, drowned in bright white stage lights, stood President Richardson; he was carelessly and causally waving around the ornate quill in his hand as he talked to the people assembled in the press room through his charming smile. Dr. Welles couldn’t focus on a word he was saying. How did she end up here? As part of a presidential press conference? There was, of course, a simple and obvious reason: it was her research, her work in the field of regressive behavioral therapy, that had elevated Brighter Days to the top of the industry and won them the government contract to run the state-sponsored rehabilitation centers created by this new bill. But she was a therapist and psychologist, not a public speaker; why hadn’t they tapped one of the upper executives or board members to do this? She rubbed the hand not holding her prepared remarks on her black pencil skirt, switched the papers to that hand, then rubbed the other. “Get ready,” the young man with the headset said, “he’s almost done.” Dr. Welles nodded and took a deep breath. On the stage, President Richardson, in his deep blue suit with an American flag pinned to the lapel, made one final flourish with the quill before setting it to the paper in front of him. The small room was filled with cheers as he held up the papers to show off his signature. “And now,” he said as he handed the papers off to an aide, “I’d like to introduce a very special woman who will be integral to the implementation and ultimate success of the HaRPR Act. Dr. Emma Welles comes to us today from Brighter Days Academy. The work of Dr. Welles and others like her in behavioral therapy and psychological research has ensured that Brighter Days Academy lives up to its name as the premier Institute of Behavioral Therapy for Young Adult Girls. Today, as we put into law the historic HaRPR Act, it is my pleasure to announce that the United States government has chosen Brighter Days Academy to run the state-sponsored minimum-security rehabilitation centers that will be key to the continued success of the social reforms we committed ourselves to as a nation when we passed the Hayes Act. I would love to tell you more about the role Brighter Days Academy will play in these efforts, but I believe Dr. Emma Welles is infinitely more qualified to speak to the work her institution does. So, without further ado, please welcome Dr. Emma Welles.” “Now,” cued the young man with the headset, as if Emma couldn’t have figured that out herself. The click of her high heels on the stage floor was nearly drowned out by the rustling in the crowd as the press members all went for their cameras. Emma had to force herself not to shield her eyes from the searing stage lights as she forced her face to maintain its beaming smile. “Thank you for coming today,” President Richardson said away from the mic as Emma approached. He reached his hand out, and she took it. His hand was shockingly soft but his grip firm. “Thank you,” Emma repeated, a little overwhelmed. Here she was meeting the president in front of a room full of press about to give a speech following up on the President’s own. She knew she was overwhelmed, but she couldn’t decide what part of this was the most overwhelming. President Richardson flashed one last smile to the crowd, gestured for Emma to take the podium, then waved as he made his way off stage. “Thank you,” Emma said nervously as she approached the mic and the crowd settled down, “and thank you, President Richardson, for your wonderful welcome and introduction.” Her eyes flicked up from her paper. The room looked much bigger from here than it had from the wings. She wondered if they could tell she was sweating slightly. “As one of the head therapists and researchers at Brighter Days Academy, I’ve helped many families and their daughters adjust to the rapidly changing social conditions we find ourselves living in. I take pride in my work, and I can’t express how happy it makes me to see my patients happy and thriving. I have made it my life’s work to help misguided and wayward young girls find their place in society, and it is for this reason that I can’t express how proud I was to be tapped to spearhead the development and implementation of the first Brighter Days Academy Minimal-Security Rehabilitation Center, or, as we at Brighter Days have taken to calling it, our Reformatory for Wayward Young Girls. There was a short round of polite applause at that. Emma smiled awkwardly until it died down enough for her to continue. “Brighter Days Academy has already begun working with another government contractor to transform a wing of our central facility, located in the nearby town of Greenham, into our first Reformatory facility that will be ready for us to begin our work of guiding these lost youths and molding them into exemplary members of society in just a matter of weeks.” More polite applause. Emma smiled; this seemed to be going pretty well. “We at Brighter Days Academy have always prided ourselves on implementing therapy techniques guided by the most recent science and rigorous research, and we plan to bring these same qualities to our Reformatory work. It is with this in mind that I am proud to announce that our researchers have recently made great strides in improving our existing subaudible suggestion induction technology. This technology, developed specifically with the most wayward of young girl in mind, is much more potent that the proven technology that has made Brighter Days Academy the number one provider of behavioral therapy in the United States. It is capable of producing not only much more drastic results, but also of delivering them much more quickly and with greater longevity. In other words, we feel confident that our newest technology combined with our tried and tested therapy techniques will be more than well-suited to transform even the most wayward of young girl into the kind of respectable, well-mannered girl that any family would be proud to have as a daughter.” More applause. This time, Emma didn’t even have to try to smile. “We at Brighter Days Academy believe, as I personally believe, both as a professional behavioral therapist and as mother to two daughters myself, that we, as a society, have done a great disservice to the young girls of this country over the past few decades. Be we also believe that the sweeping social reform we began with the passage of the Hayes Act is a huge step in correcting that damage, and we are proud to be a part of this positive social change. I am proud to be a part of it. Today, as we come together to celebrate the passage of the HaRPR Act, Brighter Days Academy is excited to reaffirm its commitment to being a part of that positive social change, and we are greatly looking forward to the amazing things we will achieve as a company and as a nation. Thank you.” Chapter Thirty-Seven Meanwhile, life was going on pretty much as usual on the campus of Greenham Community College. After a few days of cold rain, the weather had taken a turn for unseasonably warm, and the patio tables outside of the cafeteria were full of students enjoying what they knew might very well be the last warm day before the chill of late Fall turned to the biting cold of Winter. Inside of the relatively sparsely populated cafeteria, in one of the booths tucked into the corner of the room, Riley sat with her fishnet-clad legs folded up to her chest and her Doc Martens on the vinyl seat of the booth bench. She held her phone resting on her knees, watching the press conference being held only a dozen or so miles away play out on the screen. She had known the HaRPR Act would pass, but she still couldn’t help but feel a little horrified. And more than a little helpless. Was the work of Rebel doing any good? Was she risking her neck for nothing to fight against an unrelenting tide? As Dr. Emma Welles began to take questions from the crowd, a notification popped up on her phone. An email with the subject like “May We Speak?” from none other than Professor Natalie Lewis. Riley groaned silently. “Hi, Riley,” the email read, “I’d like to talk to you about your latest assignment. Can you make time to meet with me today in my office? I’ll be here until 4pm.” It was shortly before 1pm as Riley read the email, so there was no way she could say she didn’t have time. At least, no reasonable way. Riley hit the reply button, “Sure,” she wrote, “I’ll be there soon.” Short and to the point. With a significantly less silent groan than her last, Riley leaned her head back against the wall. She was pretty sure she knew what Professor Lewis wanted to talk about, and it definitely wasn’t an assignment. Not one for class anyway. Picking her head up from the wall, Riley woke her sleeping phone up and navigated to her text messages, then tapped on Rei’s name. “Hey everything okay?” Read the last text message, sent by Riley, “Haven’t heard from you since monday getting kinda worried” There were three very similar messages above that one. Riley’s thumbs hovered over the keyboard. She was really starting to get worried about Rei, but also didn’t want to seem…clingy? Overbearing? Something. Sighing, and praying Rei was okay, Riley hit the home button on her phone without typing anything and began to gather up her stuff. Before she knew it, the sound of her boots was echoing down an empty hallway, carrying her inexorably towards room 278. The sign on the wall next to the door read “Professor Natalie Lewis” with a little “she/her” sticker stuck below the official text. The door was standing open, but Riley still knocked as she lingered in the doorway. Professor Lewis swiveled in her chair to face the door, smiled, and beckoned Riley in. “Riley,” she said, “close the door behind you, please, and have a seat.” She gestured to a plush but worn seat that sat on the other side of the large L-shaped desk that dominated the small room. The door clicked behind Riley. With the heavy curtains drawn and the door cutting off the glare of the fluorescent lights in the hallway, the office was dimly light; the only light came from a weak desk lamp situated in the corner of the L-shaped desk. The lamp shade was heavy and a scarf draped over it gave the light a cool, blue shade. To any other student entering the room, it probably seemed calming, but, for Riley, it felt ominous and conspiratorial. The silence hung heavy as Riley situated herself in the chair. “So,” Professor Lewis said at last, “I’m sure you saw that…spectacle?” Riley nodded, she knew exactly what her professor was talking about. The press conference. “I’ve heard from Vantez,” Natalie continued. Riley’s heart beat a hard, sustained note. “They want to do a raid on Brighter Days,” at least, that was what Riley thought she said, but it was hard to hear her over the high-pitch whining in her ears. “They want to get their hands on this new technology. They think there’s a way to reverse engineer it, maybe help decondition people.” How in the fuck was she going to raid Brighter Days? She remembered that woman saying it was a minimum-security prison, but that was still more security that Riley was willing or prepared to deal with. Panic was beginning to well up in her chest. It must have been written all over Riley’s face as Professor Lewis’ face suddenly softened. She reached across the desk, gesturing for Riley to take her hand. She did, less because she wanted to and more because she felt she had to. “Hey, relax,” Professor Lewis said soothingly, “I told them we couldn’t handle something like that. They still want it done, but they are sending in their own specialist team to take care of it. They want you and your girls to take care of something else.” And there it was. Just as the whining was beginning to fade, just as the panic was beginning ebb, it all started trickling back. She felt like every molecule of her body was holding its breath. Professor Lewis let Riley’s hand go as she leaned back in her chair and swiveled towards her computer. Her mouse clicked a few times, then she grasped the corner of the monitor and turned it towards Riley. The Greenham Post home page showed on the screen, the current top story was titled “In Wake of HaRPR, New Trial Date Set for Wright and Stone.” “Vantez wants you to disrupt the trial,” Professor Lewis said plainly, matter-of-factly. “How do you mean?” Riley managed to croak. “They didn’t specify,” Professor Lewis responded, “so I guess it’s up to us.” “We could…” Riley tried to make her panicking mind work well enough to come up with an idea that wasn’t as extreme as she knew Professor Lewis would want. “We could vandalize the court house, or-or organize a protest, I could make flyers to raise awareness.” Professor Lewis shook her head. It was clear she knew Riley was low-balling her. She sat behind her desk, looking at Riley expectantly. Riley knew what Professor Lewis wanted—and she wanted Riley to say it. That was the important part for her. It had to be Riley’s idea. Riley wasn’t sure why she was playing this game, and she could only guess at the stakes, but she understood the rules. Riley licked her lips. “We could…um…” Riley remembered promising her mom she would cool it on the domestic terrorism and stick to vandalism and propaganda. Sorry mom. “Plant another bomb.” Professor Lewis nodded solemnly. “The night of December 3rd. You should have plenty of time. Will being down Melanie and Josie be a problem?” “No,” Riley shook her head. “We can make do.” “Good.” She nodded pointedly. “Well, I suppose I should let you get to planning, shouldn’t I?” Her tone of voice was too bright, too cheery for the situation. Riley nodded, picked up her bag off the floor, and stood up. She hesitated, and Professor Lewis cocked and eyebrow asking an unsaid question. Memories of their last conversation came back to Riley, and she decided against voicing her concerns and protests over this plan. She knew there wasn’t nothing to be gained from it. Without a word, she stepped over to the door and slipped out, Professor Lewis’ voice calling out a ‘have a nice day’ behind her. Back in the harsh fluorescent, the gravity of her situation really made itself known. Riley felt it like a physical force pressing down on her body. There had to be a way out of all this, said a sliver of hope somewhere deep in her brain. There had to be, even if she couldn’t see it now. Riley began walking away from Professor Lewis’ office at a quick pace. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, pressed the button to wake the screen, and stopped dead in her swift tracks. She had two texts from Rei. With a trembling hand, she tapped out her pin code and pressed the notification to bring up the text. “Hey, sorry, its been a bad week and i havent felt like talking, mom pulled me out of college so i wont see you there anymore, sorry” the first one read. The second, “i hope we can still be friends” Riley’s heart cracked for her friend. She know how much Rei loved college, and she could tell how heartbroken Rei was from the tone of the texts. “Of course we can you butt” Riley typed back. She felt a pang in her chest as she the fact that she would no longer see Rei around campus really settled in. Her fingers moved across the screen of her phone, typing “hey wanna hang out? i can pick you up at your house, miss you girl” The three dancing dots appeared as Rei began typing on her end. Riley resumed walking down the hallway, at a much slower pace this time, as she watched the screen eagerly for a reply. She was outside and walking through the campus commons when it came. “Can’t, I don’t think mom would let me out of the house” the text was accompanied by a crying face. Riley frowned. She typed, “oh? what’s going on?” At least she knew Rei was okay, and it made sense that she hadn’t wanted to talk for a few days. Riley could only imagine how upset Rei was over being pulled out of college and shoved into housewife classes. But as Riley passed two girls kneeling in the grass and playing patty-cake, one with a pacifier in her mouth and a diaper sticking out from her too-short skirt and the other with pigtails and a pull-up sticking out of her low-rise jeans, she realized things could be much worse for Rei.

So, I come bearing new chapters, bad news, and good news. Let's start with the bad news. The truth is, the world is starting to feel so terribly dystopian that it is really hurting my motivation to work on this story. The story is not, nor will it ever be, dead, but I am afraid I do have to put it on hiatus. I'll update it when I am ready and able, but, for now, I need to step away from it. I'm very dedicated to this story and absolutely want to see it through, but right now, I want to write something that's a little more....well, light hearted. Which brings me to the good news. I am working on something new! It will likely still be a few weeks before I am ready to start sharing it, but it is in the works. I don't want to say too much about it, but it will be, as I said, much more light-hearted as well as more utopian and, perhaps most importantly, smuttier. So, keep your eyes open! And now, I give you the last chapters I will post in likely a long while. Enjoy, and thank you for your understanding and continued patience! Chapter Thirty-Two Lie back and think of England. That was a saying, right? Rei was pretty sure she had heard it somewhere. It meant like…grin and bear it, she thought. Whatever it meant, the phrase occurred to her as she laid back on her bed, fixed her eyes to the ceiling, and tried her best to think of absolutely anything other than what was about to happen. “Now,” her mom said, no trace in her voice of the disciplinarian tone she had been using just a moment ago, “where did you put your diapers?” Your diapers. Rei cringed at the phrase. Her diapers. Ugh. But what else was her mom going to call them? Protective undergarments? They were diapers, plain and simple. Her mom was about to diaper her. Her mom was about to diaper her. Stop, she thought, think of anything else, please. “In my closet,” Rei mumbled. She wondered what classes she would take in her high school program. She wondered if she would have many classes with Megan. She wondered about what Megan said about kids making fun of her. About there being a social hierarchy over who wore the most absorbent underwear. Diapers, the intrusive thoughts said. “Well, I don’t want to have to go digging around your closet every night,” Rei’s mother said as she pulled the plastic bag out of the closet. She walked over to Rei’s desk, right by her bed, and plopped the pack down in the back corner, where they would stare at Rei right in the face while she was on her laptop. “Here,” she said, “that way they are right by the bed.” The package crinkled softly, then ripped open. Rei saw none of this, but she heard it. She heard the sounds of her mother opening the bag of diapers and the kind of swishy sound of the…the diaper sliding out of its packaging. For a long moment, nothing happened. Time seemed to have stopped. Rei flicked her eyes towards her mother, briefly glancing away from the ceiling. In that momentary glance, Rei saw her mother holding the diaper up; she seemed to be examining it. But what Rei fixated on was the rectangular shape in her hand. The glance was too quick to get a good look at it, and Rei thought that was for the best. She closed her eyes. Rei wondered what Riley was doing. She liked Riley. She was a little afraid of how much she liked Riley. She hoped Riley liked her too. She hoped they would still be friends once she’s in a high school program. She promised herself to text Riley tomorrow. Are you going to tell her you got changed into a diaper? asked the intrusive thoughts. Ugh. What was taking her mom so long? Her mother sighed, “okay, I guess I have to take your pants off for you too.” Oh. Rei’s heart sunk. She opened her eyes to see her mother standing over her expectantly. “Sorry,” Rei muttered awkwardly as she reached down and grabbed the buckle of her belt. Her mother shooed her hands away. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. She set the diaper down on the bed next to Rei and grabbed the end of the belt in one hand and the buckle in the other. The leather slid through the buckle soundlessly. Rei looked away as her mother clasped the button on her jeans. It was bad enough to feel the tugging and hear the zipper slide down, she didn’t need to see it. Rei felt her mother’s fingers slide into the waistband of her pants and panties on either side. Almost instinctively, Rei lifted her hips off the bed just a little bit so her mother could slide the clothing down. The instinct surprised Rei. And then she was naked from the waist down in front of her mother for the first time in…god, how long could it have been? Long enough that Rei couldn’t clearly remember it. She felt her whole-body blushing, and she pulled her feet up on to the bed and closed her legs tight. Rei heard the rustling and crinkling of the diaper. She was finding it impossible to think of anything else. It was impossible to escape from this moment, to dampen her awareness of anything that was going on. She was imminently aware of the soft susurration of the diaper being unfolded. It was an oddly familiar sound in that if she hadn’t known exactly what it was, she wasn’t sure she would have recognized it, but, since she did know what it was, she wasn’t sure how it could be mistaken for anything else. “Come on, now,” her mother said, tapping her left knee, “no need to be bashful, I used to do this all the time, remember?” It was something Rei neither needed nor wanted to be reminded of in that moment. Still, as embarrassing as it was, there was something to be said for getting it over as quickly as possible. Rei spread her legs. “Wider, sweetie,” her mother said even as she pushed her legs outward with her hands. “Now, lift up.” Lift up? What did she mean? “Rei, lift up,” she repeated, tapping Rei’s hip this time. It clicked, and Rei obliged, pushing down on the bed with her feet to thrust her hips towards the ceiling. She felt as much as she heard the diaper being slid underneath her. The plastic whispered against her skin. “Okay,” her mother said, tapping her hip again, “down.” Rei hesitated. Laying down on the diaper felt momentous. It felt like giving in. But…who was she kidding? She had already given in. She let herself down, landing on the diaper. The center felt like stiff cotton. It felt the same as she remembered the inside of her Goodnites feeling so long ago. It was the edges that felt so much different than the Goodnites; the plastic much harder than the cloth exterior of the pull-ups. It poked at her skin. Another crinkling sound, this one harder, sharper, broke her attention away from how the diaper felt underneath her. She heard the plastic snap and rip. She wondered what it was until she suddenly caught wind of a familiar scent that now filled the air. Baby powder. She could barely feel it as her mother started sprinkling the stuff on her; she was sure she would have entirely missed the sensation if she hadn’t been so keyed into the moment. So incredibly present in her body. Rei braced herself; she knew what came next. More crinkling as her mother lifted the front of the diaper and wrapped it around Rei’s body. She felt it slowly encase her, from back to front. The soft but stiff cotton framed by ruffled plastic that left her skin feeling uncertain if it should tickle or itch. Her mother pressed the front of it against Rei’s lower stomach with one hand, and pulled the left side of the diaper up with the other. The side rustled and jerked against her hip; it went slack first before tightening again. She felt the firmness with which her mother pressed the first tape down into place. The first nail of a coffin lid sliding through the wood grain. Then the right side was being pulled up. The process seemed quicker this time. As the second and final nail went through the coffin lid, Rei felt the bottom of her stomach fall out. That was it. She was wearing a diaper. She was nineteen, and her mother had just put her back in a diaper. Except, just as Rei was trying to tell herself that at least this meant the diaper change was over, she felt the left side being tugged at again. She heard the barely audible sound of the tape opening, then felt that firm pressure again. There was a third tape? Rei was less surprised when her mother began to repeat the process on the right side. Okay, now she was diapered. “There we go,” her mother said, “let’s just check the…” her voice drifted off as she slid her fingers along the inside edge of the diaper on either said. Rei wasn’t sure what her mother was checking, but needing to have it checked felt inexplicably humiliating. “Alright,” she said, “you look good.” She patted the front of the diaper twice. Rei jumped both times; humiliation and shame jolting through her body. “Good night, Rei,” her mother said, then turned and walked out of the room, leaving her laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Chapter Thirty-Three Ms. Akiyama softly closed the door to her daughter’s bedroom behind her and began making her way down the hall towards her own bedroom. She regretted having to be so stern with Rei. She thought about those tears falling down her daughter’s cheeks and felt a deep pang of guilt. But what else was she supposed to do? This, after all, was what was best for Rei. She was sure of that. She had to be sure of that. Rei would adjust; Rei would get used to this. And once she did, everything would be better. Easier. And Rei would be happier, not to mention safer. Ms. Akiyama had to believe that, otherwise what was any of this for? All of these self-assurances ran through Ms. Akiyama’s head as she made her way through the master bedroom to its en-suite bathroom. She turned the handles to the bathroom faucet, finding just exactly the right temperature, and set about washing her face: the first step in her nighttime routine. No, that wasn’t right. Her nighttime routine now included putting her nineteen-year-old daughter in a diaper, and that was the first step now. Not for the first time, Ms. Akiyama found herself wondering what her late husband would have thought of all of this. Being a parent to a young girl was hard these days, and sometimes she sorely wished she had some help in the endeavor. Someone to reassure her that she was making the right choices, or someone to tell her she was losing sense and reason to her own fears. Heather Eckridge seemed so sure she was doing the right thing for Megan, and certainly Megan seemed happy, but every parent knew that what’s good for one child isn’t necessarily good for every child. But could what seemed good for so many children not be good for one? For the past couple of weeks, Ms. Akiyama had been devouring parenting magazines. Even as she dried her face and began moisturizing, there was a stack of them in the magazine rack by her toilet. And that was to say nothing of the dozens of parenting blogs she had on open tabs in phone browser right that moment. And they all seemed to say the same thing: Rei would be happier for this. Rei would be safer for this. Yes, sometimes it was a rough start, and even rougher if you’ve waited too long, but the science showed that girls simply matured at a much slower rate than everyone used to think they did and giving them that extra time to grow up on their own terms was important to their development. For girls like Rei, girls who were forced to grow up too quickly due to outdated perspectives, it was important to give them space to reset in order to readjust to a changing world. It was silly to think Rei could be the exception amongst so many other girls her age. All of these thoughts and doubts and concerns swirled through Ms. Akiyama’s head as she finished her bedtime routine, changed into pajamas, and settled herself in bed for the night. Her only defense against them were her self-assurances that she was doing the right thing. Sleep came slowly to Ms. Akiyama that night. Chapter Thirty-Four How long had it been since her mother had shut the door behind her? Rei was staring at the ceiling so hard it was beginning to distort and swirl, but she didn’t dare move. To move was to confront the bulk between her legs. Somewhere in the back of her head, Rei was aware that this solution was untenable, that eventually she would be forced to confront her circumstances, but eventually was not now. A sound from her laptop caught her attention, pulling her out of her spiral of self-pity, and she raised her head just in time to see her little farmer avatar collapse from exhaustion amongst the crops she had been watering when she had been interrupted. Rei grimaced; a whole day wasted. It felt weird to be concerned about a game when she clearly had much more important matters to be concerned with, but it was a feeling she couldn’t deny or turn away. And that was, in a weird way, reassuring. It meant the world wasn’t ending; it meant that life would go on. Sighing, she sat up. Rei had been mentally prepared for the cacophony of crinkling that accompanied the movement, but she had not been fully prepared for how thick the…the garment felt underneath her and between her legs. She pressed her legs together, testing its thickness, and was dismayed to find herself unable to make her knees touch. The slight waddle she had noticed in girls who wore diapers suddenly made a lot of sense. Pushing herself off the bed, Rei gently made her way to her laptop, turned the game off, and shut the lid. She wasn’t much in the mood for playing video games anymore. The diaper rubbed against her as she moved; the plastic was crinkly, but softer than she expected. It was… Ugh. Rei felt her soul retch. She had almost thought of the diaper as not as bad as she expected, which was far too close to saying it wasn’t bad for her taste. It was strange though. In some ways, the diaper was oddly familiar; the sensation was not so wildly different from the pull-ups she used to wear to bed—similar, just dialed up. In other ways, it was a brand-new sensation—bizarre and foreign. Rei looked at the time and sighed. Normally, it would be bedtime, but, normally, she had school the next morning. Rei found herself wondering what time extended high school programs started, which led to wondering how soon she could start. She resolved to let her mother know her decision the next day; any school was better than none. And, quite frankly, Rei knew she needed some kind of routine and the at least modicum of normalcy that school of any kind would provide to thrive. It was with keeping that routine and sense of normalcy in mind that Rei trudged back to her bed. It was difficult to trudge with a waddle, but she managed it. As she crawled into bed, turning on her white noise machine as she did, the weariness of the day quickly overtook her. She was certain it would take a while to fall asleep with this added bulk between her legs; she was sure it would take a while to find a comfortable position to lay in that didn’t constantly remind her of her diapered state. And, indeed, for the first few minutes of laying in bed, she did find herself shifting, tossing, and turning. But with one leg stretched out and the other propped up on a spare pillow, Rei quickly settled and sleep came swiftly.

It's a pretty mixed bag, ngl XD some of the essays are really good and interesting and I frequently learn new things! Others are...not that... Yeah, but have you ever been so happy to be wrong? 😉 Settle in, this story is nothing if not slow burn Anyway, speaking of coming to grips with diapers, it's almost time! Chapter Thirty-One Rei practically threw herself down on her bed. The events of the past few hours had left her feeling drained and weary. She adjusted herself on the bed so she could bury her face in her pillow. Dinner with Megan and her mother hadn’t been bad. It had, admittedly, even been a little fun. It wasn’t the first time she had sat around that very table eating with Megan and her family—far from the first time, truthfully. It had been pleasant—not just because of the company, although that had played its part, but because it had felt like a time before all of this bullshit. At some point during dinner, Rei had started to feel that guilt over how she had ghosted Megan settle back into her chest. It was shortly after she got over feeling awkward about the fact that Mrs. Eckridge had put a bib on Megan. And, yes, it was awkward, but was the awkwardness of it really worth their years of friendship? The fact that in some ways the ghosting was mutual only did so much to alleviate the guilt. An intrusive thought appeared to ask Rei if she would feel the same if she weren’t so scared of Riley doing the same to her should the secret of Rei’s bedwetting become known. Riley. There was a touchy subject. She had texted Rei that afternoon to ask where she was. Rei hadn’t responded. Despite the fact that Riley had specifically told Rei they would still be friends if she got pulled from school, Rei hadn’t yet had the heart to share the news with her new friend. Rei wondered what Riley would think of Megan. Rei wondered what Megan would think of Riley. Rei decided it would be best to not let those two parts of her life collide and reassured herself that it was not because she was ashamed of being friends with either girl. She sat up in bed, and the mattress protector her mother had recently put back on her bed after its multi-year sojourn in the back of her closet crinkled softly under her. The crinkle was not loud, Rei doubted it could be heard if you weren’t literally on top of it, but tonight it was a sharp reminder of the whole impetus of the evening’s events. Across the room from her, sitting atop her dresser, the bright blue bag of Huggies Overnites stared at her mockingly. After a short staring match, which Rei lost, the girl got off her bed, stomped across the room, and grabbed the package before crossing to her closet and slamming the door shut with the package behind them. She could still feel their presence, but at least she couldn’t feel their eyes on her. That was good enough to enable her to ignore them—for, at least, the next few hours. That accomplished, Rei stood in the middle of her room and…wondered what to do. It was a school night; she should be doing homework, but there was none of that anymore. Not until she started at a high school program. If she started. Rei sighed. When she started. She hadn’t told her mother of her decision yet—she could not yet bring herself to speak the words—but, as unhappy as she was about it, she had to admit it was better than nothing. And Megan seemed to like it. Maybe it wouldn’t be awful. But that was all in the future. In the present, Rei’s routine, her schedule, her whole way of life had been disrupted, and she wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself. The night before, Rei had not needed to face this problem because she was too depressed to do anything with herself regardless. Tonight, however, the problem reared its ugly head—perhaps all the more so because of how badly she wanted to take her attention away from the blue package in her closet. Eventually, Rei found herself sitting at her desk with her laptop open in front of her. There was no reading to be done, no papers to write, no class discussion boards to post on, but she still found herself opening her browser and navigating to her school’s website. She tried to log into her account but found it had already been deactivated. That was fast. Minimizing the browser window, she scanned the icons on her desktop. There weren’t many of them—Rei liked to keep her desktop uncluttered—so it didn’t take long for one to catch her eye: Moondrop Hollow. It was a cute little pixel game about building a farm in a small town that many of her friends in high school (real high school, that is) were obsessed with. It had seemed cute, but Rei had never been one to have a lot of spare time to play games. To her, video games had always seemed like a waste of time that could be better spent studying or otherwise pursuing more productive things. Well, she thought, if there was ever a time to engage in things that were just a waste of time… She double clicked the icon, and a moment later a soft but bright melody was floating out of her computer speakers and an animated wood sign that read “Moondrop Hollow” in bright red letters was floating on her screen. She clicked the button that prompted her to start a new game and was brought to a new screen that asked her to create her little avatar and provide some details about the character and the farm she was about to build. It took her a bit to get through it all (what does one name a farm anyway?), but, before long, Rei’s little blue-haired avatar was fumbling her way through her first day on SunRei Farm in the little town of Moondrop Hollow. A week passed by in what seemed like a blink of an eye. In the game, that is. Suddenly, as Rei was watering her crops on a sunny Monday morning, someone was knocking at her door. “Come in,” Rei called over her shoulder, switching to her hoe to plough room for the seeds she had bought the day before. “Oh,” Ms. Akiyama said as she came into the room and looked at the computer screen over Rei’s shoulder, “that looks cute, what is it?” “Moondrop Hollow,” Rei responded, planting her seeds. “I’m glad to see you are taking some time to have some fun,” Ms. Akiyama smiled and rubbed Rei’s shoulder. She really was glad; Rei worked far too hard for a girl her age and always had. Something about the game tugged at something in the back of Ms. Akiyama’s head; something about the game was familiar to her, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She stood there as she tried to get it to come to her—at least, that’s how she justified standing there. In reality, she was stalling for what came next. “Well,” she said finally, knowing there was nothing for it but to bite the bullet and get it over with, “you don’t have school tomorrow, so you don’t have to go to bed just yet, but I’m going to bed now.” “Okay,” Rei said, her eyes glued to the screen. “Have a good night.” Ms. Akiyama clicked her tongue: apparently Rei wasn’t going to take the hint. “It may not be your bedtime yet, but we have to get you ready for bed before I can go to bed,” she said. That gave Rei pause. What did she mean? “Why?” “Rei,” Ms. Akiyama said, her tone of voice implying Rei should know exactly why, “I have to…get you ready for bed now, understand? So, pause the game, and go lay down on the bed.” “What? I—” Rei was about to protest, to say she didn’t understand what her mom was getting at, but then the realization came crashing down upon her. “Mom, no,” she said quietly, softly, faintly, weakly. “Excuse me?” “Mom,” Rei tried and failed to keep the whine out of her voice, “I can…do that myself.” “These aren’t pull ups, Rei; you’re going to need my help.” Rei suddenly wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream, to protest, to run away and hide and never be seen again. Her cheeks were hot and her eyes stung. “Please,” Rei pleaded, “it’s bad enough I have to wear them, just let me put them on myself.” Ms. Akiyama shook her head, “I’m sorry, Rei, you’re not going to be able to do it yourself.” “I’ll figure it out!” She protested. “No, you’ll end up putting it on poorly, then you’ll leak all over your sheets anyway! I’m sorry, Rei,” she repeated, “I need to do this for you.” Rei looked up at her mother from her seat and chewed on her lip. There was a quiet war bubbling away within her. One faction wanted to start yelling, to kick and scream and refuse to go quietly into this diaper change. One faction wanted to beg and plead and cry until her mom relented. A third faction, the smallest of them, wanted to give in, to just get this over with. “Rei,” her mother said sternly, “I’m waiting.” Rei looked over her shoulder at the bed. Her mother’s tone was like reinforcements for the underdog faction; the generals of the opposing armies were reconsidering their odds. “Why couldn’t we just get me pull ups?” Rei asked for the second time that night as the first faction tentatively advanced its lines. “If you got me pull ups, I could do this by myself.” “Yes, Rei, you made your preference clear in the car, but I told you then, the pull ups they make for girls your age just aren’t absorbent enough for overnight! Now stop acting up and get on the bed; it’s not like I’ve never changed your diaper before.” “The pull ups worked just fine a few years ago! I haven’t grown since then!” “Rei,” Ms. Akiyama warned as she crossed her arms, “I won’t tolerate this kind of behavior.” Rei suddenly remembered the humiliation and pain of being pulled over her mother’s lap—the memory was still fresh and sharp—and the front lines of her advancing army quavered. It seemed like they would crumble, but anger flashed in the sky above and the general called that anger down and with a great cry rallied his troops forward. “I’m nineteen, mom, I’m not a baby, okay? You can’t treat me like this!” “Young lady,” Ms. Akiyama began, but Rei didn’t let her continue. “I’m nineteen,” she repeated, “I’m an adult! I agreed to wear the diapers, but I won’t let you change me like I’m a baby!” Ms. Akiyama considered herself to be a rational person. A reasonable person. A calm person, even. She had often been called level-headed in her lifetime. But Rei’s anger was contagious. No, it was more than anger. It was the culmination of all of her worry over her daughter’s well-being and fear for her safety. It was the growing conviction that this was truly what was best for Rei. It was the confidence given to her by the reassurances of Heather and Emma. It was the utter disbelief that her daughter, her usually well-behaved, well-mannered daughter, would speak to her mother this way. It was the realization that maybe Rei had gotten some bad ideas in her head and the knowledge that Ms. Akiyama had to banish them before they could take root. Rei’s armies were divided, but Ms. Akiyama’s were a united front. “Young lady,” Ms. Akiyama repeated, more firmly this time. Rei opened her mouth to speak over her again, but Ms. Akiyama spoke before she could and drowned the girl out. “You,” she punctuated the word with a finger to Rei’s chest, “are a child. You are my child. I am your mother, and you will show me respect, do you understand?” The fires in Rei’s eyes wavered. A terrified murmur passed through the rank and file. “I said,” Ms. Akiyama pressed, “do you understand?” Rei clenched her jaw, more in an effort to keep the tears that were stinging her eyes from rolling down her cheeks than the steel her resolve. She nodded jerkily. She couldn’t tell if the tears were ones of anger or fear or defeat. Likely some combination of the three. “You need to get it through your head that you are no longer an adult. I’m sorry, Rei, that’s not the way the world works anymore, and you must stop living in the past. You will make yourself miserable and get yourself in trouble trying to cling to that. Now, I am sorry it has come to this, but you are the one who started wetting the bed again,” later, Ms. Akiyama would be surprised by how naturally this lie rolled off her tongue in the moment, “so until you can keep your bed dry again, you will lay down on that bed every night before bed and let me change your diaper without complaint because I raised you to behave so much better than you are right now. Do you understand?” Rei pressed her lips together tightly. She nodded. The generals were calling for a full retreat as the fires of anger were smothered by her mother’s words. “Tell me you understand, Rei. Tell me.” “I understand,” Rei stammered out. The tears were beginning to fall. Ms. Akiyama took a deep breath, but it did little to calm her down. She looked at the girl in front of her, utterly defeated, tears streaking her cheeks. She hated yelling at her daughter like this, hated seeing her upset and crying, but she couldn’t let Rei get away with acting like this. She had to learn. Rei had to understand that Ms. Akiyama was in charge, not her. Rei had to understand…no, accept her new position in this world. Ms. Akiyama hated that her daughter had to learn this lesson the hard way, but she knew there were much harder ways to learn it, and Ms. Akiyama was keeping Rei from a far worse fate. She had to believe she was. “Good,” Ms. Akiyama said, more level. “Now, go lay down on the bed.”

As well as can be expected! I still haven't beaten it (kinda got really into Metaphor Refantazio and then renewed my addiction to BG3), but I'm enjoying it! I really didn't like the art style at first, but it's growing on me! True! I am! And it is! All that said, I do apologize. The world was feeling a little too dystopian there for a minute for me to be able to muster the will to work on this story, but I've got a small update today! I'm still sitting on a pile of essays to grade, but once I get them done, I'm excited to really put my nose to the grindstone on this story. Chapter Thirty “Pizza will be here soon,” Heather Eckridge said as she joined Ms. Akiyama at the dining room table where not long ago the two had begun to plot against Rei. “So? How did Rei take the news that she was going back to diapers?” Ms. Akiyama nearly choked on the water she was sipping; she was taken off guard by Heather’s bluntness and, quite frankly, concerned the girls would overhear. “Don’t worry,” Heather waved her hand, reading the expression on Ms. Akiyama’s face, “the girls are way up in Megan’s room, there’s no way they can overhear us.” Ms. Akiyama was reasonably assured, but still spoke in soft, quiet tones once she had regained her composure. “Surprisingly well,” she said, “I told her this morning over breakfast. She obviously wasn’t happy about it, but she accepted it without fighting me. Well,” she added as an afterthought, “fought me a little. She asked if we could wait a little longer before that step, but she accepted it when I said no.” “That’s a good sign,” Heather nodded. “I suppose?” Ms. Akiyama said, “we had a little fight in the car ride over here from the store too. I guess she had expected to get pull-ups and wasn’t happy we went with diapers.” Heather laughed lightheartedly, as if she had heard something amusingly adorable, “oh, I still remember how flustered Megan got when I brought home her first pack of diapers once she started waking up wet. ‘I only agreed to wear pull-ups,’” Heather laughed at her own imitation of her daughter. Ms. Akiyama laughed along, a little awkwardly. “Yes, well, I explained that the saleswoman told me pull-ups just weren’t absorbent enough for girls her age to wear overnight. And I’m glad she did,” she added, “I’m still uncertain about this whole thing, I just don’t know how I feel about changing Rei into a diaper. If she hadn’t told me, I certainly would have given in to Rei and gotten her pull-ups.” “It sounds like you’re nervous, hun,” Heather suggested. Ms. Akiyama sat with that for a moment before responding, “yes, I suppose that’s definitely part of it. What if this isn’t the right thing?” “You’re still questioning that, sugar?” Ms. Akiyama sighed, “I suppose a little, yes. I’ve always tried to be such a good mother to Rei, but that’s gotten so complicated lately. It’s just that…I want Rei to be happy and healthy, and this is the first time I’ve truly believed that what Rei wanted wouldn’t lead to that.” “Hun,” Heather reached across the table and put a comforting hand on Ms. Akiyama’s, “you’re doing the right thing for Rei. She’s going to be healthier and happier for this, even if she doesn’t know it yet. And who knows what kind of trouble you could be keeping her out of.” “Oh, you’re right,” Ms. Akiyama turned over her hand to squeeze Heather’s, doubt and concern still streaking her face, “it just still all seems so…drastic.” “It’s not,” Heather assured the other woman, “studies have shown that girls just don’t mature as fast as we used to think and that they way we’ve been raising them doesn’t prepare them for their place in life. Regressive behavioral therapy helps undo the damage and has been proven to be safe and effective at acclimating girls to their proper role in society.” Ms. Akiyama chewed on that for a second. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about the…anti-feminist sentiment behind the movement. Truth be told, though she would never say it aloud, Ms. Akiyama did consider herself to be a bit of a feminist. Not Marxist radical collectivist feminist; not Vantez Collective, Rebel feminist; not even truly believed in the equality of men and women kind of way, but certainly in a women should have more rights than they did kind of way. But she was also a realist and knew that Rei’s best chance of happiness was accepting the reality of the world they lived in. Eventually, she just nodded, choosing not to butt heads with Heather on that particular point. “Don’t worry, hun,” Heather said after a long silence, “Rei will thank you one day.” Ms. Akiyama nearly laughed at the idea of her daughter thanking her for making her a bedwetter again. “I don’t know about that, but I’ll settle for her just being happy.” “So,” Heather said, “you think she’s gonna decide to go to a high school program?” “I’m really hoping Megan will convince her,” Ms. Akiyama responded. “She’s been…despondent since I told her I was taking her out of college. I think a high school program would be really good for her. I even think she’d be happy there, but only if she lets herself be. I think that’s why she didn’t put up any fight about nighttime protection and put up so little fight when she realized she was going back to diapers: I think losing college really took the fight out of her. If I’m being honest, I’m a little worried that’s all I had to do and that this whole bedwetting business is going too far.” “Mhm,” Heather nodded along as Ms. Akiyama had spoken, “I hear what you’re saying, but you gotta remember, she was in college for a while, who knows what kind of ideas she picked up there. I mean, you know what I heard the other day? Tina Crawford? She was in band boosters with us? She was that woman that always thought she was special because her daughter was first chair flute? Well, she told me that some professor in Texas got fired because she was recruiting students to her lesbian cult.” Ms. Akiyama held her tongue. But there was some sense behind the fearmongering. Ms. Akiyama wasn’t concerned that some professor would turn Rei into a lesbian, but she was concerned that they might turn her into a terrorist. She hadn’t been able to shake that fear since she had first heard on the news that that Rebel group had found to be based out of Greenham Community College—Rei’s school. And if there was a place to be exposed to that kind of crowd, it was definitely the gender studies classes Rei had lied to take. She thought back to the emancipated girl who had driven Rei home after skipping classes with her and hoped she wasn’t too late. Whoever that girl was, she was bad news, and Ms. Akiyama instinctively knew she had to keep her daughter away from her. Taking her out of college was certainly the right thing to do and the first step in that. Maybe bedwetting was a step too far, but Ms. Akiyama was realizing that the stakes were too high to aim low. She’d rather make Rei a bedwetter and make sure her daughter stayed out of that kind of trouble than err on the side of not making Rei a bedwetter only to find her mistake later. “You’re right,” Ms. Akiyama said at last, not because she thought what Heather had said was right, but because she thought the sentiment behind it was. She sighed, “I never thought I’d be doing this, but…it really seems like the best way to make sure Rei is happy. And safe. Happy and safe and out of trouble.” Heather nodded sympathetically, “you’re doing the right thing, sugar. Rei is a good girl, she’s just a little misguided right now, but with a little of the right kind of guidance, she’s going to be much happier in the long run.” “Thank you,” Ms. Akiyama replied, “really, thank you. I’d be lost without your advice on all this; I feel like I’m in way over my head sometimes.” “Happy to help in any way I can,” Heather assured her, “and don’t worry so much, it’s a little awkward at first, but, once you get used to it, it’s kind of fun in a nostalgic sort of way.” Ms. Akiyama couldn’t help but chuckle at that, “that’s a little hard to imagine.” “But it is, trust me!” Heather insisted, “and once you both get used to it, it will do wonders for your relationship. Megan and I are closer than we’ve been since she was a real toddler.” “Yes, I’ve heard that…uh, diaper changes,” Ms. Akiyama felt weird saying the phrase aloud knowing she was talking about her 19-year-old daughter, “are especially good for mother/daughter bonding and essential to successful behavioral therapy.” “Oh, for sure,” Heather nodded sagely, “that’s absolutely true.” “It’s not…awkward?” “Well,” Heather placed her finger on her chin thoughtfully, “at first, it definitely was, but, like I said, once you get used to it, it’s kind of fun!” Ms. Akiyama had trouble believing she’d ever think of changing her daughter’s diapers as fun; it wasn’t fun when Rei was a baby, so how could it be fun when she was 19? “If I’m being honest,” Ms. Akiyama said, “I’m quite nervous about it. It’s been so long since I’ve changed Rei’s diapers; I don’t even know if I remember how to do it!” “Hun, it’s like riding a bicycle,” Heather waved her hand with a laugh, “a bicycle that’s a lot larger than you remember, but still a bicycle.” “I suppose you’re probably right,” Ms. Akiyama conceded. “I definitely am,” Heather corrected with a warm smile. “I promise,” she continued, “it’s going to be okay. Rei is lucky to have a mom who cares about her happiness as much as you do.” Ms. Akiyama smiled appreciatively, “maybe I should have been more open-minded to this kind of stuff sooner. If I had known what kinds of people Rei was going to be around at that college of hers, I never would have let her go.” “Don’t blame yourself,” Heather replied, “you had no way of knowing, and you were just trying to do what you thought was best for Rei. Once you realized it wasn’t the best, you changed your course. Don’t feel bad you didn’t do this sooner, but glad you’re doing it before it’s too late.” Ms. Akiyama nodded slowly, taking that in. It sounded like a banal platitude, but there was sense to it. She just hoped it truly wasn’t too late. For the second time in this conversation, she found herself thinking about the girl who had driven Rei home after skipping class. As little as Ms. Akiyama knew about the mystery girl, in her mind the girl represented everything she wanted to keep Rei away from. She was trouble in a purple four-door sedan—the mundaneness of the car really undercut the insidiousness of its driver, but still. As Ms. Akiyama thought about that girl, she found herself thinking the question she hadn’t dared let herself consider before: what if she was too late? What if the path she had chosen was not only not too drastic but even not drastic enough? How far was she willing to go to make sure Rei stayed safe and out of trouble? Could she picture Rei living a life akin to the one Megan was living? Did Ms. Akiyama have the heart to force Rei into it? Would Rei hate her for it if she did? Ms. Akiyama suddenly realized she had zoned out and Heather was talking. Some story about when they had first started using behavioral therapy on Megan. Ms. Akiyama tried to tune in to the story, but kept finding her thoughts drifting back to her fears and concerns. She smiled and nodded along to Heather’s story as appropriate, but she only half heard it. She was honestly thankful when the doorbell interrupted the narrative. “Oh! That must be dinner,” Heather said, getting up from the table, “I’ll call the girls down.” A few short moments later, she was eating dinner with Heather and the girls. There was something familiar about it; back when Megan and Rei had been best friends in high school, the two families had eaten together often. It was nice. It was especially nice to see Rei and Megan getting along again, as it certainly seemed they were. Ms. Akiyama found herself, not for the first time, incredibly glad she had reached out to Heather. Maybe a friend like Megan was exactly what Rei needed to keep her away from the likes of the girl in the car. Maybe, just maybe, this would all be enough to set Rei on the right path. And if it wasn’t, well, Ms. Akiyama had to admit that Megan seemed genuinely happy with her life. Maybe Rei could be happy with it too. But, for now, Ms. Akiyama hoped she was doing enough.

Just as an update, I did some writing today, but not enough to post an actual update. Next weekend, I hope to be fully addicted to the new Dragon Age, so next update will probably be in about two weeks!

I genuinely cannot express how uninterested I am in continuing what is very clearly an unproductive conversation.

I want to be clear here: this is all completely untrue. I work in academia; there is no brainwashing and there are no cuddle rooms. Please practice skepticism.

Of course, the last thing I want to do is see a fight break out in my comments. That said, and I'd like this to be the last thing I need to say on the matter, I think it does need to be pointed out that conservative/right wing and liberal/left wing mean different things in Italy/Spain/pretty much all of Europe than they do in the US. So, I think we should all recognize that there are some things happening here that are being...culturally mistranslated, let's say. In other words, let's not pick fights if we aren't 100% sure we know what we are fighting against. Secondly, I personally hope that it is understood that this story would not exist without real world politics. In many ways this story is a metaphor for what it feels like to be a woman specifically but a minority in general in the US during a time where there is an active threat of fascism. There is a very good reason people have compared it to the handmaid's tale, and there is a very good reason my initial elevator pitch to myself was "what if handmaid's tale but with diapers?" So, sorry, there's no keeping real world politics out of this; a story like this is bound to bring out hard conversations like this. But, ya know, as I tell my students: don't be a dick; be excellent to each other. Anyway, here's wonderwall: Chapter Twenty-Nine The first thing Rei noticed as she walked into the Eckridge’s living room was the giant, brightly colored playpen that dominated a portion of the living room. It was made from interlocking hard-plastic squares, giving the perimeter of the playpen some flexibility. Rei had seen playpens exactly like this made for actual toddlers, and this was just a sized-up version. Despite its increase is size, however, there was one thing Rei immediately understood about the playpen: the only adults it could keep in were ones that didn’t want to get out. “I’m so glad y’all could come over on such short notice,” Heather was saying as Rei was completely occupied with the implications of the playpen’s size. “Well, it was just so nice of you to invite us,” Ms. Akiyama responded. It occurred to Rei that, given what Megan had admitted to, this spur of the moment dinner at the Eckridge’s might not actually be that spur of the moment. Megan stood off to the side of all of this, looking and feeling awkward. “Megan,” Heather said, snapping the girl to attention, “why don’t you take Rei up to your bedroom to catch up until dinner gets here?” “Okay, Mom!” The last M was elongated then swiftly muffled, as if the girl had been about to add a second syllable before quickly thinking better of it. She grabbed Rei’s wrist and tugged her towards the stairs. Rei followed without resistance. Of course, she knew the way to Megan’s bedroom. It had been a while since she had been to Megan’s house, but not so long as to forget the way to her former best friend’s bedroom. A strong sense of nostalgia came over her as they crested the stairs and headed down the hallway towards Megan’s bedroom. How many sleepovers had Rei been to here when they were growing up? They were the only sleepovers Rei had ever been to; Megan had been the only friend she ever dared share the secret of her bedwetting with. And now, Megan was the first to know she had started again. At least, Rei assumed she had been able to put two and two together. Of course, it also seemed possible that Ms. Akiyama had told Heather who in turn told Megan. Rei had a moment to ponder how deep this conspiracy went before they arrived at Megan’s room. As Megan pushed opened her bedroom door and pulled Rei through, Rei followed through in a bit of a stunned haze. She hadn’t really considered that Megan’s room would be too much different than the last time she had seen it, but maybe she should have. The first thing Rei noticed was Megan’s desk, which was, as it always had been, against the wall directly across from the door. The desk was just as Rei remembered it; stacked with textbooks and covered in notebooks left open to pages filled with notes in Megan’s small, precise handwriting. Rei could remember huddling next to Megan at that desk as the two girls worked on homework together. Then Rei’s eyes fixated on an object quite out of place amongst the accoutrements of a serious student: a bright pink pacifier sat neatly on top of the closed laptop that was centered in the desk. Rei had a flash of a memory: Megan closing her laptop and setting the pen she had just been chewing on the lid. It was something she had seen her friend do countless times. The desk was flanked on either side by tall bookcases. They were even more full of books than the last time Rei had seen them, and there were even a few small stacks of books on the floor in front of each bookshelf. The space in front of the books was filled with various knick-knacks. Some of them Rei recognized. There was a cheap plastic trophy Rei remembered from the time Megan won the 8th grade spelling bee. Rei was slightly shocked to see a framed photo of her and Megan at a local amusement park they had gone to together in 10th grade for a school band trip. Others were new. Like the two Barbie dolls sitting side by side in matching babydoll dresses and cloth diapers, their legs dangling off the shelf and crossed at the ankles. Rei let her gaze drift off the to left, to the corner that held the queen-sized bed she had occasionally shared with Megan during those long-ago sleepovers. It, too, was much as she remembered it. If, that was, you ignored the accumulation of stuffed animals and the detachable, mesh-panel railings that ran along the two sides of the bed not pressed against the wall. Like the playpen downstairs, they were tall enough to make getting out of bed awkward but nowhere close to impossible for an adult-sized person. A pacifier sat in the middle of the pillow, and a little pouch on the railing held a battered and dog-eared copy of Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women and a sippy cup. In the corner above the bed was a net that held more stuffed animals. On the opposite side of the room, where Megan’s dresser used to be, was a piece of furniture that was at once similar and entirely different. It was slightly longer, significantly deeper, and considerably taller. Much like the dresser that had stood there the last time Rei had been inside this room, the face of it was still a patchwork of different sized drawers, but these were painted in mismatched pastels and had heart shaped handles. A drawer seemed to be missing from a cubby on the top right, but it was filled with various bottles and a light pink plastic tub. The top of the oversized dresser was, Rei observed with some confusion, covered with a cushion, a couple inches thick and upholstered in a fabric that matched the pastel heart theme of the rest of the piece. On the wall above this strange piece of furniture were two posters: one feature three Japanese girls in sparkly black and pink outfits that the poster identified as the MAGICkGIRLS, the other was an old poster from a sitcom about a 14 year-old girl that Rei and Megan had been obsessed with when they were in middle school. That was what made it finally click: this was a changing table. Which meant the tall white cylinder that resembled a trash can was likely Megan’s diaper pail. Feeling warmth creep into her cheeks, Rei quickly averted her gaze and found herself staring in the corner of the room directly to her left. Years ago, there was a TV stand in this corner with a couple of bean bag chairs. There was still a TV and bean bag chairs, but the former was mounted on the wall and the latter were now seated in front of a low plastic table. Along the foot of the bed, where they would be behind someone sitting at the table on one of the beanbag chairs, were two large clear plastic bins: one was filled with Legos and one with toys ranging from more Barbie dolls to rattles and puzzles based on increasingly small plastic rings. Coloring books and crayons were neatly stacked in one corner of the table, but most of it was covered in Legos. In the center of the table was an elaborate castle made of mismatched colors. The little Lego people were posed throughout: a frozen tableau of daily castle life, surely. Another sippy cup sat on the table right next to another discarded pacifier. Rei took a few more steps into the room so she could see past the door to the corner on her right. Here, clothes were strewn on the floor around a wicker laundry basket. A full length mirror stood against the wall, and Megan’s closet’s bifold doors stood open. A shelf at the top of the closet held rows of diapers. Below that, a wooden rod supported various dresses, most of which were adorned with ribbons and lace, several pleated plaid skirts, white blouses, sweater vests in a number of different colors and patterns, and a couple heavy winter coats. On the left side of the bottom was a shoe rack; on the right side was black case Rei recognized as Megan’s old clarinet case, a stack of sheet music books, and a disassembled music stand. And in the center of it all, Megan stood with her hands behind her back and a blush on her face as she watched her former best friend take everything in. “It’s been a while since you’ve been here,” Megan said at last when the stretching silence got to be too uncomfortable for her. “Yeah,” Rei agreed, unaware of how much time had passed since they had entered the room. She walked past Megan and picked up one of the books sitting on the girl’s desk: Advanced French Grammar. Below it was Modern American History and Civics. “Those are my textbooks for this year,” Megan explained. “History is kind of fun, but I hate my math teacher.” Rei nodded. “You know, if you start at my school, maybe we’ll have some classes together again. We could study together again!” She almost sounded excited at the prospect. Rei set the book down and looked around the room again. She was having trouble reconciling the two halves of Megan she was seeing here: it was hard to believe the girl who studied linear algebra was the same one who had her diaper changed, slept in a pseudo-crib, and played with dolls. For that matter, it had been easy to mentally categorize Megan when she was just another victim of the Hayes Act, but the fact that she was in some ways the same intelligent and ambitious girl that had once been Rei’s best friend complicated that categorization. Of course, Rei knew these things weren’t always black and white. She was reminded of Jennifer Duffy, who openly wore diapers and used a pacifier at college. But it was different with Megan. Maybe it was just because it hit so close to home; maybe it was because Rei had always written off Jennifer Duffy as someone who was so thoroughly drunk on the Kool-Aid that it was no wonder she couldn’t keep her pants dry. Or maybe Rei was feeling a newfound kinship with the girls she saw as the victims of the Hayes Act. Of course, Rei was a victim of her own body’s betrayal, but that wasn’t how most people would see her. That wasn’t, Rei was certain, how Riley would see her. And Rei wasn’t sure that she wasn’t something worse anyway. Megan was looking at her expectantly. “So,” Rei said at last, “you…like school?” Megan smiled, “yeah! Like I said, it’s just like high school used to be. The material is tougher, of course; it’s not like we’re just learning the same stuff, you know?” “You’re not…sad you didn’t go to college?” Rei could remember countless conversations she had had with Megan, some of them in this very room, where the two had shared dreams and hopes of their upcoming years in college. “Well,” Megan shrugged awkwardly, “like I was saying at the store, it’s not like I don’t still want to go to college, it’s just…a few more years away now, you know?” “I guess,” Rei responded, “but…it doesn’t make you mad that you have to wait?” Megan seemed to really consider this; her face scrunched up in thought as she walked to one of the bean bag chairs and flopped down. “I guess I wasn’t happy about it at first,” Megan finally responded, “but…you can’t live your whole life mad, you know?” Rei snorted, “I don’t know about that, there’s a lot to be mad about in this world.” “I guess,” Megan conceded with a shrug, “but…you know, when Mom first suggested I start wearing pull-ups, I was kind of upset. Mad even. I felt betrayed. I had always felt kind of lucky to have a mom that didn’t buy into all this stuff, but then here she was, suggesting I start wearing pull-ups. I don’t even know what gave her the idea. I was seventeen, it was the beginning of our senior year of high school, I wasn’t supposed to be wearing pull-ups, you know?” Rei nodded; she definitely knew. What she hadn’t known, however, was that all of this started for Megan back in high school. “Thankfully,” Megan continued, “she didn’t push the issue. She’d bring it up occasionally, but that was it. But you know how it was that year; it seemed like every day we would come to school and a new girl was in pull-ups.” “Or diapers,” Rei scoffed. “Or diapers,” Megan repeated in agreement. “And at first, I just kept getting angrier and angrier about it. And angrier still that Mom was suddenly trying to make me like those girl. We got in a few really big fights about it until I finally realized Mom was just trying to do what was best for me. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to agree. But…there was one day when you weren’t at school, you were sick or something, I don’t remember, but I ended up sitting with Ashley Crawford—you remember her? She was in band with us? Played first chair flute?” Rei nodded; she remembered Ashley—she was the perpetual first chair flute to Rei’s second chair. “Well, we were all sitting there at the lunch table, having a normal conversation, when suddenly, uh…what was her name…that girl Ashley always hung out with that had curly hair? She was on the dance team?” “Oh, Lucia?” “I think that was her name. Anyway, just out of the blue she started complaining that her mom started buying her a new brand of diapers and how she didn’t like them as much as her usual brand. Next thing I knew, I’m awkwardly sitting there while these girls talked about their favorite brands of pull-ups and diapers and which were more comfortable and which leaked more.” “Ew, awkward,” Rei interjected. Megan laughed softly, “yeah, it was. But it got me thinking, these girls were happy, you know? Here I was, angry all the time, but these girls had accepted the way the world was and were happy about it. So, I thought, where was being mad getting me? It was just making me unhappy. I guess after that, I really started to rethink things. I thought…maybe if these girls were so happy, maybe there was something to all of this. You don’t have to look at me like that, I know how it sounds.” “Sorry,” Rei responded, trying to make her face more neutral, “it’s just…you can’t really think it’s best for us that our parents treat us this way, do you?” Megan shrugged, “I really don’t know,” she admitted, “but…I’m happier, I can say that. And I’m not giving up my dreams, you know? I still want to go to college and have a career; I just want to have that stuff when I’m ready.” “I’m…glad you’re happy,” Rei responded. What else could she say? None of what Megan was saying really made sense to Rei; how could anyone been happier living this way instead of living like the adults they were? But who was she to tell someone they weren’t actually happy? And Rei couldn’t say it wasn’t sometimes exhausting being angry at the world all the time, but how could you not be angry at a world that made adult girls into oversized toddlers for the sake of misogyny? Of course, the answer was right in front of her—you could just accept it. Rei couldn’t do that, but…she supposed she could support her friend in choosing to be happy. Rei had been standing this whole time, but she finally sat at Megan’s desk. “So,” she said, eyeing Megan’s textbooks, “high school really isn’t that bad?” Megan smiled, “it’s certainly better than just not being in school, don’t you think?” Rei had to give her that one. “Are most of the girls…?” Rei didn’t want to finish the question lest she embarrass Megan, but the other girl seemed to take her meaning. Megan shook her head, “I mean, most of them wear pull-ups, some of them wear diapers like me, but even most of the ones who wear diapers are a little more…mature than me.” The last part brought a deep blush to Megan’s cheeks. “To be honest, a lot of the other girls make fun of me.” “That’s fucked up,” Rei said, “I’m sorry.” Megan just shrugged, “you know how high school is, it’s all about popularity and who’s cool and who’s not,” she explained. “The girls who wear pull-ups all think they are cooler than those of us who wear diapers, and, of course, the girls who still wear panties pretend they are above it all, but they definitely aren’t.” Rei shook her head. On one hand, it felt surreal that there was a popularity hierarchy based on what kind of underwear you wore—that was, on top of the surrealness of the normalcy of girls that age being in absorbent underwear. On the other hand, she had seen the beginning of those kinds of dynamics forming in the latter years of her high school experience, so it didn’t surprise her one bit. “I guess,” Rei said, “there are some things about high school I’m really not forward to re-experiencing.” “Does that mean you’re going to do it?” “I don’t know,” Rei replied with a sigh, “I already miss college and it’s only been a day. I want to be in school, and you’re right, it’s better than no school.” “And,” Megan added, “it will help you get in a good college in a few years when you’re old enough.” “I guess there’s that too,” Rei nodded. “What else are you going to do?” Megan asked, “Sit around at home and miss college?” “I guess…I don’t know. I haven’t really had much time to think about what comes next.” “Not to be a downer, but you don’t have a lot of choices.” That, Rei realized, was painfully true. “I don’t know; I gotta think about it, I guess. But…I don’t know, maybe it wouldn’t be awful.” “It’s definitely not awful,” Megan said with a laugh, “I think you would like it. And we could hang out more! You could eat lunch with me and my friends.” Rei wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at the mental image of her sitting around a lunch table with a bunch of adult high school students dressed like Megan. She settled for saying, “thanks, that would be nice, I think.” “Sooo…? Does that mean…?” Rei gave Megan a weak smile. “I’ll think about it,” she said, but somewhere inside her she already knew the answer, she just didn’t want to admit it. “Girls! Dinner!” The call came from downstairs. “I’m really glad we ran into each other,” Megan said as she stood up from the bean bag chair, “and I’m really excited that we get to be friends again.” Rei, who still suspected their meeting was less than coincidental, found herself smiling. She had missed Megan more than she had realized. “Oh, hey,” Rei said as she stood up from the desk, her eyes catching on a white, plastic machine sitting on the edge of the desk closest to Megan’s bed, “we have the same white noise machine.”

I mean, have whatever political beliefs you want, but I want to be very clear about the fact that in this story, Rei and Riley are the woke feminists and this is an explicitly feminist story written by a woke feminist with a graduate level education in feminist theory, sooooo.....

Today, I hit a truly monumental milestone in this story

You're not causing issues, but that definitely is not something you'll see happen in this story!

That definitely happened!

That's an interesting question! And it brings up the fact that there's a lot about this world that I have in my head but haven't found a way to work in to the narrative. When the Hayes Act was passed, women who were married, owned a home, or had more than 60k in assets were covered by a grandfather clause and immediately emancipated.

Two updates in a weekend! And this one is a bit of a longer one too! And if you like this chapter, maybe considering buying me a ko-fi! Chapter Twenty-Eight Babies ‘R Us. Rei looked up at the looming bubble letters suspended above the building’s entrance with a touch of dread in her stomach. She wasn’t sure where she had expected her mother to take her to get ‘nighttime supplies,’ but this wasn’t it. The last time Rei had been a bedwetter, Babies ‘R Us strictly catered to real babies. But now as the automatic doors swished open in front of her and she entered the brightly lit, sprawling store, she could see that the store was roughly bifurcated: Newborn, Infant, and Toddler Needs to the left, Young Adult Girl Needs to the right. Ms. Akiyama headed right without hesitation. Rei found herself slouching as though she could retract her head into her hoodie like a turtle as she walked behind her mother. All around her were other parents, many of whom were accompanied by their young adult daughter in various states of regress. She blushed and quickly averted her gaze as she accidentally made eye contact with a girl her age whose crouched stance made it very clear what she doing, but found herself instead staring at a girl who was idly twirling her pacifier in her mouth as she texted, the waistband of her pull-up peaking a full inch above the waist of her low-rise jeans. The girl looked up after a second and gave Rei a weird look when she caught Rei’s gaze lingering on her. Rei looked at her feet; that seemed safe. More than anything, Rei wanted to be invisible in that moment. There was no way of fooling herself into thinking that everyone who saw her didn’t know why she was here—they may not know the specifics, but they knew more than enough for Rei’s comfort. Rei couldn’t even hide behind the defense that her mom was making her go through the charade; that she was here was her fault alone. Sighing, she kept her head down and followed closely behind her mom. Ms. Akiyama walked through the store purposefully but slowly, taking time to take in all the merchandise displays. She kept trying to imagine Rei using all of this stuff, but it still felt a little…surreal? It wasn’t even like it was that long ago that Ms. Akiyama was last buying nighttime protection for her daughter, but it had felt so fundamentally different back then. Not to mention, back then she wasn’t causing them. It didn’t take long for Ms. Akiyama to find the diaper section, which was located in the far back corner and took up almost a quarter of the floor space allotted to the Young Adult Girls section. She quickly scanned the aisle for any sign of Heather and her daughter, but didn’t spot them. Heather had promised to give her the scoop on which brands were the best, but without her immediate guidance, Ms. Akiyama suddenly felt a little overwhelmed looking at the multiple aisles. Meanwhile, Rei felt increasingly awkward, vulnerable, and anxious as her mother seemed to hesitate at the opening to one of the aisles. She sighed impatiently. Quietly, but impatiently. The faster this was over, the better, and Rei still remembered what she wore back when she had been wetting the bed a few years ago. She quickly scanned the directory signs at the aisle ends, located the one that said “Nighttime Protection,” and broke away from her mom to head down that aisle. Thankfully, her mom followed. Pampers Overnights…Huggies Overnites…Luvs Overnights… Rei furrowed her brow as she scanned the colorful packages. Where were the Goodnites? Where, for that matter, were the pull-ups? These were all actual diapers! “May I help you find what you’re looking for?” The sudden cheery voice from her left made Rei jump, but her mother, who must have seen the sales associate coming, replied before Rei could even think to formulate a response. “Yes, please,” Ms. Akiyama replied warmly, “my daughter needs some nighttime protection.” Rei’s cheeks burned hot; at least she hadn’t said diapers. “Sure! I’m happy to help you with that,” the girl looked to be about in her early thirties, had feathered brown hair, and wore a dark navy polo shirt with khaki pants. Pinned to her shirt was a nametag that read ‘Anne.’ “Did you have a brand preference?” “Well, we—” Rei interjected before her mother could say something embarrassing, “um, Goodnites?” Anne gave her a look that was a mix of condescension and patronization, “oh, sweetie, I’m afraid they don’t make those for girls your age!” She turned her attention back to Ms. Akiyama, “isn’t she just the cutest?” “She is, isn’t she?” Ms. Akiyama replied instinctually; bantering with strangers about her daughter like this was both a foreign and familiar feeling. “We used Goodnites for her last time she was having trouble staying dry at night; she hasn’t grown much since then, surely they would still work for her?” Anne smiled and gave an understanding nod of her head, “it’s true that many girls your daughter’s age can still fit into Goodnites, and that was a popular choice before we had the choices we do today! But, trust me, if you want to avoid washing sheets, you’ll want to go with something a little more secure!” “I see,” Ms. Akiyama replied; it did make sense. “Plus,” Anne leaned in as if she was about to whisper conspiratorially with Ms. Akiyama, but she made no effort to lower her voice, “diaper changing time can be really great mother-daughter bonding time. That’s why experts recommend using diapers over pull-ups for bedwetting issues in girls your daughter’s age.” Rei was certain her face was going to spontaneously combust. Ms. Akiyama made a thoughtful sound; that sounded good, actually. Some bonding time, time to get Rei to accept that Ms. Akiyama cared about her and just wanted to protect her, sounded like exactly what they needed. “Well,” she said after a moment of contemplation, “what do you recommend?” Anne beamed brightly, “There are a lot of really great options! Is your daughter a heavy wetter at night?” “You know, I guess I’m not really sure!” “Mhm, I understand. Well, for most girls, overnight type diapers are perfect for making sure they wake up in dry sheets, but if she’s a heavy wetter…” Rei never got to hear what they should do in the event that she was a heavy wetter. Having realized neither of the two was paying much attention to her, and unable to withstand the further humiliation of allowing this conversation to go on over her head, Rei slowly wandered away. Was Mom really going to…change her diaper? Rei shuddered at the thought. As she reached the end of the aisle, she looked back up to the directory signs and found the one the one that said “pull-ups.” Anne could tell her mom whatever she wanted, there was no way Rei was going to let her mom put her back in actual diapers. “My goodness, Rei!” A familiar voice called her name as she turned down the pull-up aisle, causing Rei to freeze in her tracks. Had someone from school spotted her? Not that it mattered much anymore. She turned to face the source of the voice and was surprised to find herself looking at none other than her former best friend, Megan Eckridge. Her former friend was wearing a tshirt with a popular children’s TV show character whose name Rei couldn’t quite recall, if she ever knew, and a pair of floral print leggings that did nothing to hide the thick diaper between her legs. It was immediately obvious from the pacifier between her lips that she was not the one who had spoken; it was, instead, her mother, from behind whom Megan offered a shy wave. “It’s just been forever since we’ve seen you,” Ms. Eckridge exclaimed. “Are you here with your mother? Where is she?” Rei’s eyes flicked back and forth between the mother-daughter pair. Something felt off—suspicious even. It seemed an awful big coincidence to run into these two just days after Mom had brought them up while trying to convince her to go back to an extended high school program. “She’s, uh, like two aisles up that way,” Rei pointed. “Well, I simply must go say hello,” Ms. Eckridge said and turned to Megan, “why don’t you stay here and catch up with your friend, Megan?” Rei had intended to say something else, give Ms. Eckridge some kind of goodbye, but she disappeared so quickly, all Rei managed was a belated wave. She looked back to Megan, who was blushing and looking down at the floor. God. This was awkward. Megan started to talk, but it came out garbled and muffled around her pacifier. A few words in, she seemed to realize her mistake and took the pacifier out before starting over. “Um, hey, how are you? It’s been a while.” “Uh, yeah,” Rei scratched the back of her neck. It was so strange to see Megan like this. Megan had been such an intelligent and ambitious girl, but there was no trace of that girl in this figure before her. It left Rei uncertain of what to say or how to even interact with this stranger, nee best friend. Then, of course, there was the oppressive awkwardness of knowing that Megan had to know what Rei and her mother were doing in the diaper aisle of Babies ‘R Us. “Sorry,” Megan said, “this is awkward.” Rei snorted a short laugh, “yeah.” At least she wasn’t the only one feeling it. “I’ve, uh, I’ve missed you, you know,” Megan admitted. Rei found herself taken aback by this proclamation. For whatever reason, Rei had assumed her former friend had…well, out-grown her certainly wasn’t the right word, but whatever meant the same in reverse. Their worlds had seemed so infinitely different that she had assumed Megan had no room in hers for Rei. And, of course, if Rei was completely honest, she simply wasn’t sure how to continue being friends with Megan when she was…like this. “I’ve…missed you too,” Rei said, and it was true, but Rei wasn’t sure that the girl before who was the same person she missed. The pair stood there in awkward silence for a long moment after that. “So, uh—” Megan began just as Rei was saying “Uh, what—” They both laughed awkwardly. “Sorry, go ahead,” Megan said. “I was just…uh, what have you been up to?” Rei asked, because that was a thing you asked when you were talking to someone you hadn’t seen in a while, right? “Oh, uh, just school, and stuff,” Megan replied. Rei nodded, “yeah, Mom mentioned she talked to your mom recently and said you were in one of those, you know, high school programs.” “Oh, she did?” Megan seemed genuinely surprised. “Yeah,” she continued after a beat, “it’s pretty good.” “My mom wants to me to start going to one,” Rei confided. She wasn’t sure why she was being so open considering she still suspected this meeting was not coincidental. But, then again, if her hunch was right, Megan probably already knew. And maybe there was still an echo of their friendship that made Rei put her guard down around Megan. Megan nodded, “Yeah…yeah, I’m kinda…supposed to convince you to go.” To say Rei was taken aback by the admission would be an understatement. For all her suspicions, she never would have expected Megan to admit it, especially not so bluntly. “Wait, really?” “Yeah,” Megan confirmed, “doesn’t really feel right lying to you though,” she continued, “so, if your mom asks, I really tried to sell you on it, okay?” Rei snorted a laugh, “yeah, thanks,” maybe Megan hadn’t changed that much. “I mean, how is it though?” Megan arched an eyebrow, “are you really considering going?” Rei shrugged, she had spent a lot of time thinking about it since her mother had laid out her decree that Rei be removed from college. It wasn’t a very appealing prospect, but…Rei liked school, and maybe any school was better than no school. Yeah, she would probably have to take some dumb home economics classes, but she could at least take other classes too. And, hell, maybe learning to cook would be fun. Part of her was, of course, worried what Riley would think; Riley had once specifically said they would still be friends if Rei went to an Extended High School program, but Rei wasn’t sure if that was just talk or if Riley would be good to her word. Of course, Rei was also aware that if Riley was going to stop being her friend just because she went to an Extended High School program, Riley would probably stop being her friend just for no longer being in college. And that didn’t begin to account for how Riley would react if she knew Rei was wetting the bed again. “Well,” Megan said, taking Rei’s shrug as confirmation, “it’s, you know, not bad actually. It’s a lot like high school used to be, you know? I don’t know how it compares to college, but I like it.” “Yeah?” Rei was still trying to wrap her head around the idea of the girl before her, the girl who had moments ago forgotten to take her pacifier out of her mouth before she spoke, the girl whose diaper was sagging between her legs straining the fabric of her leggings, went to anything resembling high school. There were, of course, the Jennifer Duffy’s of the world, girls who attended college wearing diapers and using pacifiers or sippy cups, but none of them seems so thoroughly regressed as Megan seemed to be. Of course, Megan certainly didn’t talk like she was regressed, though Rei had to admit she hadn’t really interacted with too many girls who were, so maybe this wasn’t all that strange. “What, uh, what kind of classes are you taking?” “Mostly the stuff you’d expect,” she replied, “English and History and my other core classes, of course, and then for my electives, I’m taking a drawing class and band.” That did certainly sound like the kind of schedule Megan would have had back when the two of them were in high school, and Rei couldn’t help but note that there wasn’t a single class she could call a “housewife” class. “That doesn’t sound bad,” Rei said, and it didn’t. It was Megan’s turn to shrug, “to be honest, Mom told me about your mom taking you out of college.” Rei rolled her eyes, “what’s with our mothers being besties all of the sudden?” Megan laughed, “I don’t know, but it seems like that, doesn’t it?” Rei nodded and made an agreeing sound. “What I was gonna say though, was that I know it sucks, but you should really consider a high school problem, I think you’d probably like it almost as much as college,” Megan said, then added, “and I’m not just saying that cause I’m supposed to.” Rei gave a hesitant laugh but felt oddly confident she could trust her old friend. Maybe it was that lingering echo of their friendship, or maybe there was more substance behind that echo and their friendship still had a few tenuous strands holding on. “It would be fun,” Megan offered after a small silence, “I, uh, we could hang out again,” she said, quickly adding a “if you’d like.” Rei wasn’t entirely certain why they had truly stopped hanging out before, they had just slowly drifted apart as Megan had started to regress. One day Rei had noticed Megan was wearing a pull-up, but when she pointed it out, concerned over what she perceived to be Mrs. Eckridge forcing her daughter to wear them, Megan had just shrugged it off, told Rei it was no big deal, she’d been wearing them for months. Rei had been taken aback; she’d had no idea. She was still certain Ms. Eckridge had forced it onto her daughter, but it had been going on so long that Megan was too far gone; she seemed more annoyed than grateful by Rei’s concern and seemed to think it was perfectly normal for an 18-year-old girl to be in pull-ups. From there, Megan had begun exhibiting more and more childlike behavior and attire, seemingly oblivious to her decline. It was too awkward for Rei, and she couldn’t just stand by and watch it happen to her friend anymore than she could stop it from happening. So, she had slowly put distance between the two, stopped talking as often, stopped hanging out as often, stopped being friends as often, until they weren’t friends at all anymore. Had it all been Rei’s fault? Rei suddenly felt a pang of guilt in her chest; had she abandoned her best friend? Had she done exactly what she was afraid Riley would do to her? “Yeah,” Rei nodded, feeling the weight of her guilt, “I’d like that, I’m…sorry we stopped hanging out in the first place.” “Me too,” Megan replied quickly, “I just…I was embarrassed for you to see me like this,” she admitted, “I thought you’d judge me, so I kind of…pulled away.” So, it was mutual, kind of. That did help alleviate some of Rei’s guilt. “I…I wouldn’t judge you,” Rei said, “I just…” Rei sighed, being open and honest was hard, “I felt bad for you, that your mom was doing…all that to you.” Megan gave an understanding smile, “Don’t feel bad,” she said, “Mom was doing what she thought was best. It took me a bit to understand that, but...” she hesitated, blushing, then finally continued, “you’ll think it’s dumb, that I’m dumb, but after a while, I kind of got why she did it.” She shrugged, “I don’t know, and it’s not so bad.” Rei couldn’t quite wrap her head around that last part. She was having trouble wrapping her head around any of it, but especially the notion that it wasn’t ‘so bad.’ “It’s just that,” Megan continued, seeing the skepticism on Rei’s face, “accepting it is easier than fighting it, you know? And this is the way the world is now, and hopefully if I just accept it and behave, I can still go to a good college when I’m adult.” Rei had to admit there was some sense to that, but it was still too bitter of a pill for her to swallow whole. Still, the fact was, she had done wrong by her friend by not standing by her. And, besides, maybe there was still a chance to get Megan to see that none of this was right. “There you girls are!” Rei turned to see her mom and Heather Eckridge rounding the corner, both pushing carts in front of them. Rei swallowed hard as her eyes focused on the contents of the car her mother was pushing: a big blue bag that read ‘Huggies Overnites.’ She had the somewhat hysterical thought that, apparently, Anne and her mother had decided she wasn’t a heavy enough wetter for whatever came after overnight diapers. “Megan, look,” Heather said as she pulled out a bag of Pampers that featured a trio of glammed up Japanese girl on the front with ‘MAGICkGIRLS’ written below their picture, “I know how much you love this band!” Megan glanced at Rei and blushed, “thanks,” she replied bashfully. Ms. Akiyama started to speak, and for a moment Rei was certain she was about to show off what she had picked out for Rei, but instead she just said, “well, it’s so good to see you to talking again after so long!” “Did you girls have fun catching up?” Heather followed. Megan nodded enthusiastically, “yeah! Right, Rei?” Rei gave them all an awkward smile and agreed. She had wanted to keep talking to Megan, but now all she could think of was how to break up this little reunion without Megan realizing what Ms. Akiyama had in her cart. That would raise questions Rei did not want to answer. “Well, I have an idea,” Heather announced, “why don’t you two come over to our house for dinner tonight?” Rei felt panic rise in her chest. “Oh, no,” Ms. Akiyama responded, causing all of Rei’s tension to release, “I wouldn’t want to impose on you last minute like that!” “Nonsense,” Heather replied, “Richard is away on business, so I’m sure we’d love to have the company, and we can just order in some takeout, so it won’t be any trouble at all!” “Well…” Ms. Akiyama said thoughtfully. Rei’s chest tightened; she wasn’t really considering it, was she? “Oh, come on,” Heather urged, “it will be just like old times, and the girls will have a chance to catch up more.” “Well, Rei?” Ms. Akiyama asked, “what do you think?” Rei wanted to say no. She desperately wanted to say no and figure out some way to get everyone separated before Megan noticed the package of Huggies Overnites. But she had no idea how to do that without being incredibly rude, so she just timidly nodded. “Alright, then!” Ms. Akiyama exclaimed, “I guess we’ll come over, as long as your sure it’s really no trouble.” “No trouble at all, right, Megan?” “Right!” Megan was actually beaming. “Well, shall we head to the registers and then we’ll meet up back at my house?” Heather asked, “Or did you still need to do some shopping?” “I think we have everything we need, don’t you, Rei?” Before Rei could answer, Heather chimed in with, “sweetie, make sure you have some baby powder, you don’t want Rei to get diaper rash!” Rei’s stomach curled and for a moment she was certain she was going to throw up from sheer embarrassment. Well, the cat was out of the bag. She glanced over at Megan, who seemed unsurprised. “Oh, dear, you’re right! Come along, Rei, let’s grab that and then we’ll check out,” she turned towards Heather, “and then we’ll see you at back at your house!” Rei looked at her mother’s hand, held outstretched as if she was expecting Rei to take it. Rei looked at her mother, then at the package of Huggies Overnites, then to the wall of pull-ups standing by them. Was her mom really going to make her wear diapers? She wanted to protest, wanted to try to convince her mother to let her wear pull-ups if she had to suffer this, but there was no way to voice this without utterly and thoroughly mortifying herself in front of her former best friend. “Um,” Rei turned to Megan, but couldn’t quite make eye contact, “see you soon, I guess?” Then she followed her mother out of the aisle, pointedly not taking her hand.

Babies R Us is just super nostalgic to me (and I think a lot of other abdls in my age range), so I've made the decision that in this alternate reality, Babies R Us is alive and well

Riley is swoon worthy, isn't she?

I already know exactly how this story ends and I think neither god nor man could change it at this point but I think most writers will agree characters sometimes do defy their fates, so who knows

why, whatever makes you think that? 😇

I think I mentioned it once very early in the story, but yes, technically adult men can't date women under 28 because they are minors. I do think a male perspective in this world would be really interesting, but, as the title of the story implies, this will definitely focus on the perspective of girls in this world. To be honest, I don't really enjoy writing from a male perspective, so that probably won't be something I ever do.

I think you're absolutely right! But I think her inability to step far enough outside of the role of mother to have that "what if this was me?" revelation is a character flaw, not a narrative flaw 😉 I know I'm biased, but I'm a Ms. Akiyama apologist XD like obviously what she's doing is ultimately wrong, but she's trying to do her best to keep Rei safe