Confused Feelings " Experience"

[diaperedcoach]

So am not sure where this topic should be posted, so after thinking and just can get the thoughts out of my head I have decided to post it here. 

Am a long Time DL that just like to wear diapers and I Offen try different types to get that feeling of being padded and to feel safe with a nice Diaper on but enjoy the idea of people not knowing you are wearing but still get to wear...  

So recently I tried out a Seni Active Plus pull on which i got a sample pack from one of the Local Stores in my area gave me.  the feeling of the pull on was nice and gave me what i was looking for.. 

This is where the issue turns up, so after a long day out and about I swung by the local Pizza Joint to get dinner for me and the wife..  while Standing in Line I decided to Use the Pull up and knowing it was a pull up and that it could not hold much i was just going to let out a little in to the Underwear just to get that wet feeling prior to going to the Restroom and removing it so when i sit back down it would not leak...  But when I let go the Pull up did not hold any of it and i immediately felt my pants get wet on the inside of my leg. I stop the flow and paid for the meal and went to the rest room to see the damage. 

I immediately felt shame for the accident and was feeling embarrassment of have and Accident that i had to hide.  I did not want in any to get caught or expose myself in this manner.

after leaving the store and get in my car to go home i started to feel a rush of excitement of the whole idea by also feeling more desire to wear diapers but not wanting to have to deal with actually having real Accidents that I could not control ....  

I cannot get the whole Experience out of my head and what feelings that it brings Am not sure how to feel about it all but figure if i wrote it down it my help to bring some clarity to the whole thing