Problems Telling My Wife

[rhh126]

long story short, my wife and I are expecting a baby.

Earlier this week, I decided to tell my wife about my interest in the ABDL thing.

that was a bad idea.

Needless to say, she completely freaked out.

For a while, she thought I was pedophile. It tool a LOT of convincing to tell her that this isnt the case at all, its completely unrelated. I have NO sexual interest in children. Period. Not even close. She wanted to get a divorce and said that this is a serious pyschological issue and is grounds for an anullment and that I'm putting our baby in danger. Afer even more convincing, she changed her mind, but she still wants me to go to a shrink, because she's convinced that I'm mentally ill and that I must have had some childhood trauma.

I knew that this is an unusual and uncommon fetish. What I never counted on, however, is that someone would be this scared and freaked out by it. She can't even hear the word "diaper" without cringing now. I think that if she understood it a little more, she wouldnt be so upset and wouldnt think I was some kind of psycho. She's the only person I've ever trusted enough to tell about this.

thoughts? what should I do?

[Guest Takkun]

Talk to the shrink. If you are lucky, you'll get a good one who understands and has seen it all. Chances are, they will end up talking with your wife to get her to understand. This happened between me and my brother. He raised me, and when I told him, he made me see a psychiatrist. he understood that its a very relaxing thing and isnt wrong in the least and ended up talking with him about it and trying to get him to be okay with it, which he did.

[robert_dl]

If you havent already done so tell your wife that you only told her because you love her so much and trust her like you have never trusted anyone before and felt she had the right to know because you dont want to keep any secrets from her, you could also try telling her that you told her because you feel so alone and weird because you dont know anyone else who is like you and just needed to talk to someone.

Do see the shrink and just do whatever she wants, I think if you give her time she'll realise how much you love and trust her and things will work out.

[rhh126]

thanks everyone for the advice. she;s better with ith now than she was at first, we have an appt to see a shrink.

i never realized before how weird and unacceptable this is to other people.

I think what concerns her the most is that she assumes this must be because of some childhood trauma or sexual abuse or something. I can see why she;d say that, but i have absolutely no memory of anything like that ever occuring, so it seems farfetched to me. At least she doesnt think im a pedoophile anymore.

[RJack]

It's h2o - under the bridge; since you have already told your wife; but for others about to reveal their AB/DL needs; it is best to 1st say that you have actual incontinence (start wetting the bed 1st) & have already seen a doctor, who says you need to wear diapers; & that it can't be cured (by drugs/surgery), due to nerve damage. In my case, I had surgery, which actually did result in incontinence. A non-specific "back injury" could also be a cause for incontinence (if you are looking for a "reason" for being incontinent). Thus, you have a legitimate need to wear diapers. Once your wife/girlfriend has accepted this, then start (very gradually) explaining how the "use of humor" helps keep you from feeling sad or depressed about being incontinent (since you have a good sense of humor, in general) & it is already known that you enjoy being "teased" (she can enjoy teasing you, about non-AB/DL things - to get her used to teasing you, in general,if you encourage her). Thus, you can then introduce a pair of baby print plastic pants, into your "needed items" (while showing her the websites, i.e.Plastic Pants.com & others). Even if you wear disposables, instead of cloth diapers, wearing plastic pants over it, keeps the diaper from twisting off to one side when you roll over in your sleep - thus you "need" to wear plastic pants(1st wear plain white or transparent ones, before the prints - to get her used to seeing you in plastic pants). When she is used to this, go the next step, & add in a pacifier (just for your "sense of humor"); then gradually go from there. The key is to go very gradually, from step to step. Once she has accepted each step in the process (as described - 1st "just incontinence"; later on add in a very small amount of AB/DL - one item @ a time; as she accepts each prevoius step/item. I am currently seeing a therapist - most are very understanding & ok with AB/DL's - this isn't new to them (your wife "freaked out" due to her ignorance - making false/wrong assumptions, which a therapist could straighten her out, on). I talk w/my therapist (I picked a female), since it is covered by my health ins, & thus is an inexpensive way to have "a mommy" to talk with, about my AB/DL fantasies (only pay a $ 20 co-pay,per visit). I also wear a diaper & plastic pants when I see my regular family doctor (I purposely picked a female doctor - to be another "mommy"); who knows that my incontinence is legitimate. She has seen me, wearing nothing but my diaper & plastic pants - when I had her look @ a "suspicious spot" on my skin - on my thigh - thus I needed to have my trousers off, for her to look @ it. If you read a lot of info on the legitimate incontinence sites (i.e. Simon Foundation, NAFC, Tranquility, Kimberly-Clark - Depends...), you can learn enough to "fake" legitimate incontinence, as a real need to wear diapers & plastic pants.