I'm trying to understand what is happening, am i slipping into permanent bedwetting?

[the_petite_une]

Hello, I'm a lifelong DL. I never had experience wearing padding that really truly fit til about 4 years ago. Over the years i would buy small packs of padding usually online. I have been through a rather stressful period of time in my life as of late that started almost 2 years ago. Anyway at the beginning of last year i started wearing padding more frequently and i noticed whenever I ran out of padding, my sleep would suffer, I would have to wake up to pee where as before in the early morning i could just let go. Anyway, I had to leave my place a few months ago and i wasn't able to get padding delivered to me. I decided to go to a store and buy some padding when i was really stressed out. There were no small packs available like i was used to, only bulk. I had a flash of knowing in the moment, that I may start wetting in my sleep if i used that whole pack, but i kind of brushed it off, I thought maybe i was one of those people where waking up wet is practically impossible. I wasn't sure about it since it never was a common thing for me to experience.  I can only remember one time bedwetting and that was almost 20 years ago. Anyway, when i got my pack of padding I put on the first pair and when to sleep, i would let go instead of waking up, I basically dribbled every night, and if i really needed to go badly i would go to the bathroom. Well anyway, after dribbling every night and having it not feel like a big deal, on night 11 i had a fair amount of alcohol and woke up in the middle of the night to a poofy diaper i had no recollection of wetting. I woke up wet quite a few times after that but many times i wasn't sure if i really was wet or it was just sweat. anyway but the 3rd week i got freaked out by the consistency of wetting and got rid of the rest of my stash, wasteful i know. I would wake up in the middle of the night to pee with an alarm on my phone. I would put a really thick towel folded over under my bum while i slept just in case. I managed to stay dry and never saw any liquid but when i woke up the first few days i smelled like pee a bit. i satyed dry for about nine days and at the end of that period i bought another small pack when i was super stressed (i know, binge and purge cycle) Well, I did drink some alcohol that night and wet my diaper while asleep that night. I felt kind of relaxed waking up wet again but also scared at how fast it was this time. I decided it was only one night, I'll stay dry again, i got rid of the remaining small pack, and was able to stay dry, I did smell slightly of pee the few mornings after so i wonder if i had micro leaks after those two times quitting. Anyway I stayed dry for another 9 days and out of stress and desire i bought more padding, again in a small pack. It's hard for me to not pee or dribble when i'm padded because i dont even feel myself peeing. I was wet slightly every night. Basically I am on day 4. so last night was my 4th pad of the pack and I had suspected i woke up wet on morning 3, quite sure i did. However this morning I know i peed while asleep, my diaper was sooooo poofy. I'm really not sure what my future holds and what I'm going to do or what i should do, I think i need to buy more padding asap because i know i'll run out in a few days, and i really dont want wet sheets. It's really weird even though i technically wet the bed last night which would normally be a big deal for me (especially unpadded) it almost feels like nothing because all i felt was waking up in a poofy diaper. Curious as to what other people think, thanks for reading!

[stevewet]

I love being a bedwetter 

[foreverdl]

I love to be wet when I wake up just read some of my and others here, I had to sit up in bed for the first ,, maybe 🤔 yr to wet then lay back down and back to sleep in a nice warm diaper. I have had my beds plastic covered for at least 40 yrs due to allergies, so if I did leak it was no big deal. Plus I have slept directly on the plastic, since I have loved that feeling all my life..So had no sheets to wash..

[Rabbitnappies76]

I have no issues being a bedwetter. The only pain is having to pack a suitcase full of nappies when on vacation. The suitcase always comes back lighter on the return flight LOL.

[the_petite_une]

It's weird now because my whole life i have liked diapers and it used to be full choice if i wanted to wear them, but now I'm wearing them every night out of practicality. I dont want to ruin any sheets. but yeah i guess this is forcing me to embrace my like of the diapers, i've never been padded for so long continuously. It was so weird being an abdl one week thinking I can just live in a house without my padding, but now it's diapers or else lol

[DiaperDev2]

I’m exactly where you’re at right now. Frankly too afraid to go without diapers. I haven’t had an accident yet sleeping without. But I don’t trust myself too much either. I’m “trying” to retrain myself. Which means carefully maintaining a balance between letting go when in diapers during the night, but not letting the habit form too much that wearing underwear is no longer an option.

Would you like to stay this way? Or retrain? Does it comfort you that you might have to wear more now?

[the_petite_une]

well for me i'd say wearing underwear to sleep is no longer an option. It freaks me out when i am tired during the day because I know i shouldn't fall asleep cos i'm not padded. also i need to be careful about not letting go in my diaper when i am drifting off into sleep, I am scared of leaks. I have to be padded. I definitely don't trust myself to stay dry. I do think if you can wake up halfway in the middle of the night to pee in a bathroom then you can definitely increase your chances of being dry. I still think i would probably pee myself though. Before electric lights were invented our ancestors apparently would sleep in two different sets or phases, first and second sleep. bedwetting may not have been as common back then since they were not expected to hold their bladder for 8 hours in a row. If you can hold your bladder for 8 hours it's quite impressive, it's crazy so many people do it, and on the other hand it's not surprising that so many people like us are bedwetters