Getting out of the binge/purge cycle

[Primcess Mauve]

One thing I continually struggle with is the binge and purge cycle where I’ll buy diapers only to a few days later throw them all out due to anxiety. I guess what I’m asking for help on is overcoming that. I kind of feel like my desires to wear diapers comes and goes with sometimes desiring to throw out my big girl underwear and wear diapers all the time to swearing it off. I feel like the biggest point of anxiety comes from the feeling like I’m sneaking around with diapers. My partner knows I’m into this but isn’t comfortable with abdl stuff. I do love him more than diapers, but even still I can’t seem to make myself quit diapers entirely and still go through times I wish I could be 24/7. I’m kind of feeling back in the mood of wanting to go full time, but don’t know that it is what’s best. I think somewhere in between is probably what’s best for me since I don’t think I’ll ever get over wanting to wear diapers but it isn’t something I constantly feel like doing.

[Ragnarlothbrok]

I know the feeling all too well! I haven't found the magic trick to fix the binge/purge cycle yet but I hope to someday just like you. Currently on a binge however recent events has made me very close to a purge... 😕 I hope i can manage though! Not purged yet!

[ValentinesStuff]

Not having the spare money to waste helps. I never did want to purge, but knowing I couldn't waste that much money helps.

 

Next time you get a purge feeling, think about the money, and push the diapers under your bed til it passes.

[Dubious]

Purge by throwing the diapers into the closet, not the dumpster. 

I can't remember ever throwing out unused diapers. 

[Goerge]

What really helped me with the binge/purge cycles is to commit wearing 24/7 and with no masturbation. The first month I was horney AF and couldn't stop thinking about nappies and playing with myself. Then the arousal kinda mellowed out where wearing become normalised and routine and it become less sexual. I found in the nearly 5 months of committing going 24/7 wearing nappies brings me more than just the sexual side, they bring me a lot of comfort and happiness. More so than the sexual side where I had some guilt after having a wank and didn't want to wear for a few days. Also I lost a lot of my anxieties with wearing around people, I now define myself as incontinent and my friends know I'm incontinent and wear nappies so this has resolved a lot of my issues...

[Badbunny]

Like others have stated putting it all away in a place that feels safe is the best option because the desire will come back sooner or later. Diapers will play a prominent role in your dreams like it does for some of us. It takes time to replace the anxieties with self acceptance and understanding that this part of you isn't bad or wrong. We tend to be our own worst critics about ourselves and just need to hear that's it ok to wear diapers no matter what your personal need is. 

Giving yourself permission to wear on your terms helps and if you need to hear it from someone else, then I give you permission to wear as many diapers as you want. 

My husband also isn't abdl and doesn't really participate but he loves me and knows this part of me isn't going away and that supressing it leads to poor mental health for me. 

Hope this helps out in some way. Hugs 🫂 

[Primcess Mauve]

1 hour ago, Goerge said:

What really helped me with the binge/purge cycles is to commit wearing 24/7 and with no masturbation. The first month I was horney AF and couldn't stop thinking about nappies and playing with myself. Then the arousal kinda mellowed out where wearing become normalised and routine and it become less sexual. I found in the nearly 5 months of committing going 24/7 wearing nappies brings me more than just the sexual side, they bring me a lot of comfort and happiness. More so than the sexual side where I had some guilt after having a wank and didn't want to wear for a few days. Also I lost a lot of my anxieties with wearing around people, I now define myself as incontinent and my friends know I'm incontinent and wear nappies so this has resolved a lot of my issues...

That is an idea I could try. Last time I got to throwing out underwear and trying to be diapers only masturbation after the act really made me guilty to where the next day I threw the diapers out and went to buy new underwear . I have thought about working up to 24/7 by doing something like tossing 1 pair of underwear a day. I think I need to get to the mindset where diapers are just my clothing of choice and a normal thing if I want to do 24/7.

[widdlemikey]

2 hours ago, Dubious said:

Purge by throwing the diapers into the closet, not the dumpster. 

I can't remember ever throwing out unused diapers. 

This was how I often dealt with it. BUt a step further, I put all my 'stuff' into a suitcase and put that in the back of the closet. Out of sight, out of mind. At least for a bit.

The last time I really tossed things out, was when my ex asked for a divorce. I thought if I really... REALLY 'kicked the habit', she might not leave. But no, it just wasn't meant to be I guess.

Now I've gone back to the 'suitcase' method.ALthough, feeling more freedom around the house, the urge to purge has lessened. YMMV

[Alyeskabird]

I for one never really had the situation where I needed to purge. Part of that is mindset, a diaper is a possession, throwing out a perfectly good thing I own is bad. Even if I am worried about someone seeing, or knowing that I might have them, the loss of value is a serious thing to me. Heck, I would hang onto them forever, and not use them, cause if I used a disposable, it was gone, and that was money I could not afford to loose. Partly this is what got me into cloth diapers. Trust me, your a lot less willing to toss a diaper that cost you 50 bucks, verse one that cost you 2 or 3 bucks. So I have had more issue with convincing myself I am worth spending the money on good diapers, rather than tossing stuff. Also, to be honest, I had to come to face myself and my desire for diapers a very long time ago. Before I had my own space, it was not a binge purge, it was desire, and once in a while getting lucky and finding a diaper or two somewhere. Heck, one of the medical supply stores in chicago would give out free samples, just had to be careful not to go too often. Once I had my own car, things changed, I allways had a spot I could store/hide my diapers. No need to worry about someone finding them or anything like that.

Perhaps its that I excepted early on that I liked diapers and wanted to wear them that kept me from the purge cycle, by the time I could get them on my own, I had allready excepted diapers, and was ok with them. I was very carefull about hiding them, keeping others from knowing, but, I never really desired to purge. I never had a desire to not want to wear diapers. Huh, I guess, in a way its also that I never really sexualized them, it was more a comfort thing for me.

[ozziebee]

Don’t throw out your undewear when you’re in a binge cycle.  

Do this instead:  Grab a garbage bag, and put all your underwear in it, then seal it up, and place it somewhere in your home where the bag is hidden and out of the way.  Try going 24/7, and see if you end up comfortable in that lifestyle change.  If you find you’re going back into a purge cycle, you replace your underwear in that bag with your nappies.

An alternative is to downgrade from nappies to pullups when you’re feeling a purge happening.  This may satiate the emotions enough to give you a half-way reprieve, but still allow you the decision to wear underwear from time to time, and pullups mostly, and then nappies when the binge hits.

I used to binge/purge too, throwing away unused nappies.  The break from that for me was realising one day that I could just put my nappies away in a hiding spot.  When I inevitably decided (after some medical issues arose) to go 24/7, I did the trick of bagging up all my underwear and hiding the bag.  

[Primcess Mauve]

13 minutes ago, ozziebee said:

Don’t throw out your undewear when you’re in a binge cycle.  

Do this instead:  Grab a garbage bag, and put all your underwear in it, then seal it up, and place it somewhere in your home where the bag is hidden and out of the way.  Try going 24/7, and see if you end up comfortable in that lifestyle change.  If you find you’re going back into a purge cycle, you replace your underwear in that bag with your nappies.

An alternative is to downgrade from nappies to pullups when you’re feeling a purge happening.  This may satiate the emotions enough to give you a half-way reprieve, but still allow you the decision to wear underwear from time to time, and pullups mostly, and then nappies when the binge hits.

I used to binge/purge too, throwing away unused nappies.  The break from that for me was realising one day that I could just put my nappies away in a hiding spot.  When I inevitably decided (after some medical issues arose) to go 24/7, I did the trick of bagging up all my underwear and hiding the bag.  

Okay, I think I’ll try that. I’m in a cycle of wanting to go 24/7. I think at the end of the weekend I’ll try putting the underwear up in my closet. If I get to where I feel I’m comfortable just doing diapers maybe the underwear will go but I think making a drastic move of throwing it away would just continue the cycle. I’m still kind of uncertain about doing 24/7 in diapers where I think I need to try it out first before deciding. I think just having the underwear out of the dresser and only diapers in there will kind of give me the feeling of having to choose diapers but still having an easy out. If I do get too anxious and take that out I’ll just swap the underwear back to the dresser and put the diapers in the closet until a time comes I’m wanting to wear again.

[rusty pins]

17 hours ago, Primcess Mauve said:

Okay, I think I’ll try that. I’m in a cycle of wanting to go 24/7. I think at the end of the weekend I’ll try putting the underwear up in my closet. If I get to where I feel I’m comfortable just doing diapers maybe the underwear will go but I think making a drastic move of throwing it away would just continue the cycle. I’m still kind of uncertain about doing 24/7 in diapers where I think I need to try it out first before deciding. I think just having the underwear out of the dresser and only diapers in there will kind of give me the feeling of having to choose diapers but still having an easy out. If I do get too anxious and take that out I’ll just swap the underwear back to the dresser and put the diapers in the closet until a time comes I’m wanting to wear again.

You want to try 24/7 but not chicken out?  Lock all your underwear in a steel trunk, then put the key in an envelope and mail it to yourself!  That way you won't have any choice getting to your underwear until the key arrives in the mail in a day or two.

[zzyzx]

10 hours ago, rusty pins said:

You want to try 24/7 but not chicken out?  Lock all your underwear in a steel trunk, then put the key in an envelope and mail it to yourself!  That way you won't have any choice getting to your underwear until the key arrives in the mail in a day or two.

Or in this day or age, arrives in a week or two.....

[Primcess Mauve]

I didn’t lock them up somewhere but I did just put my big girl underwear in a garbage bag and stash them at the back of my closet. I’m going to try to at least get to a week wearing full time then go from there. I’m still figuring out stuff like what type of diaper works best for this and where I’ll buy. I’ve also thought of trying some reward system for each day I make it this time. Thinking maybe a potty chart but fill it in for each day diapered. I’ll see how it goes. I don’t want to throw my underwear out since I feel like I’m in the binge part of the cycle, but I could once I reach a certain milestone that is at this point to be determined.

[FretaBWet]

Failure is generally part of trying to go 24/7. The suggestions above are all good, but you should keep in mind that these suggestions were born out of failures rather than first time successes. My first time ever doing 24/7 was at Capcon 2016. We drove there diapered and I stayed that way until I got home, then abandoned ship to go back to work. I flirted with it off and on but I never threw my diapers or my panties away. This time I started a month or so ahead of Thanksgiving last year but again stopped for different activities. I started again before our Thanksgiving 5 hour drive, which I can't do without being padded and I am still 24/7 today. My wife asked me months in if I wanted her to throw away my big girl underwear and I said no. I finally told her to throw them out this past summer when I became comfortable that I wasn't going back. A key point is do not beat yourself up if you pull the underwear back out, it's only going to make things more difficult for yourself.

Hugs,

Freta

[cuteandfun99]

A big one for me was throwing out all my underwear and having a variety of pull-ups and diapers available so suit my mood.  Ultimately I had no choice but pull-ups really made it easier to just think of them as underwear.

[Primcess Mauve]

I made it through a work day diapered. Listening to a podcast I think really the source of my anxiety is relationship issues and not wanting that to fall apart. My husband knows but is uncomfortable with the kink. I am trying to figure out how to approach the topic. I feel like things are fine as long as he’s not coming into contact with it. Last time though seeing diapers in my purchase history and recommendations made him uncomfortable. I’m certain I can just wear and it only switch out if we’re going to be intimate. I have been listening to a podcast that their most recent episode touched on age play and relationships. I don’t need my husband to be okay with it as I just need to be able to wear diapers.