Next in line for Surgical incontinence!

[Jojorabbit]

I’ve spoken to the Surgeon in Mexico and I’m 100% ready and going to be getting the surgery, I have heard of other people getting it done in the USA. Is this true? Who and where are they if anyone could PM me? I’ll keep everyone updated with my progress but basically it’s the same as the other guys. 

[Padros]

Its really good to hear you're going through with the surgery! Do you have a date set for the operation? I hope you get the results you desire.

[Rachael-Little]

Honestly I don’t understand anyone who would choose to do this. Yes I love wearing but to have to wear no not for me.

Hope it’s what hope for, just not for me 

[jeremy12312]

Congrats on your decision!  Don't let the negative folks who provide their unasked-for opinions get you down.

[keyman419]

Congrats on your decision. I apologize for the negative energy all of a sudden. Do what's right for you and enjoy your results. Please do keep us informed. 

[CountryRandy]

On 5/10/2025 at 10:11 PM, Jojorabbit said:

I’ve spoken to the Surgeon in Mexico and I’m 100% ready and going to be getting the surgery, I have heard of other people getting it done in the USA. Is this true? Who and where are they if anyone could PM me? I’ll keep everyone updated with my progress but basically it’s the same as the other guys. 

If this is what you truly want, I'm so excited for you!  If you have not already read the thread "Getting Surgery in Mexico" you totally should. I would encourage you to read it all, especially the responses from those in the thread who had the procedure done. It will give you a good idea of what to expect if/when you follow though with the procedure.    Do you have a timeline yet?

[superabsorbantpolymer]

Congrats on the decision, its certainly a radical step. As others have said, Reddy's thread has a lot of good discussion and documentation of what to expect. Its a long road and definitely not for the faint of heart. I especially like the questionnaire @BobbyBrown put together here. 

If you haven't already, I'd suggest trying therapy to at least explore these thoughts and ensure you're not just jumping into something on impulse. Kind of like how you shouldn't marry a person you've had a crush on for a few weeks because you may find the reality of living with them through good and bad isn't what you idealized in your head. You should at the very least go 24/7 for months at a time before doing it. Once you get surgery, you're going to have to deal with this forever (constant leaking, never ejaculating again, potential impotence, strictures, financial burden of surgery and supplies, social/relationship challenges etc). I'm happy for Bobby, I think he explored this deeply and made the right choice for him. Reddy has adjusted to his new reality but there are a lot of things he didn't consider before surgery and he has had a lot of challenges coming to terms with his everyday reality. He seems happy enough now but is wanting to have bowel surgery as well, which is even more disruptive to your life.

I'm glad I've abstained from surgery for now, as through therapy and personal growth I've come to see diapers and "incontinence" as less of a black and white/all or nothing experience. I can wear diapers 99% of the time and tactically choose not to when I don't want to. I don't need to excuse my diaper wearing to anyone, its my choice and I own it. I don't need to be incontinent to enjoy them, although some day I may get the surgery. I just know "for now" I'm better with a choice to wear diapers or not, to be self-conscious of my bulge and waistband or not, to spend money every day on absorbent underwear just to live my life or not. Once you take the plunge there is no going back.

Not at all trying to say this is the wrong choice for you, I don't know you or what you've done to come to this decision. I hope if you do go through with it, that it is everything you wanted and more. Selfishly, I'd love for you to get it because I love reading the updates from those who have gotten it and now have leaky diapers in their workplace, embarrassment in their social circles etc. That's an incredible fantasy for me. But at the same time, this is a massive life change and the people blindly cheerleading won't have to deal with the consequences. They, like me, enjoy hearing about these things -- we don't always have your best interest in heart. I've engaged in reddy's thread since the start and its been great hearing about his journey, so if you do go through with it please continue to update us!

[hendrik]

Gratz with ur choice m8. Go for it.

 

I truly dont understand the people who are saying, u have to wear 24/7 for a few months and see if this is what u want. Tbh if u want to experience true incontinence just do it and see what happens. Experience what it is like to be incontinent all of a sudden. The things u have to learn, to cope with and so on. nothing can prepare u for that. This is what people experience when they get in an eccident, or something else went wrong and became incontinent all of a sudden. 

 

So if u want the thrill and the full newbe incontinent experience just do it and deal with it. 

 

I truly wish u the best of luck on ur journey. Happy wettings.

[pigletno]

@hendrick (and everybody else) I believe there is a rational basis for a “trial period” of living daily life while simulating incontinence as closely as possible. In my opinion, the desire to become permanently incontinent is a form of Body Integrity Disorder/ BIID. There is a growing amount of professional/ medical research on that topic and parallels to people who desire to physically change their gender attributes.  In support of these, the medical guidance generally encourages counseling and adopting the behavior and daily life associated with the changes desired. When and if the person accepts living with these, then a permanent (surgical) change is performed.

for incontinence desire, the obvious starting point is to diaper up or use other incontinence aids such as a catheter and a bag. Later stages could employ a stent or Botox as a reversible way to achieve incontinence.  Finally, if one can accept the life changes due to living with incontinence then a permanent (surgical) solution is in order.

I recognize, of course, that there is an inherent emotional thrill from enjoying the “negative” side of being/ using/ having to use diapers. I consider it a form of Masochism or Submission (in the realm of BDSM) and that’s ok by me. Just so long as one has reconciled their feeling and desires in a responsible and healthy way, not out of short-term excitement and/or self harm. Just my $0.02, YMMV. piglet 

[Spargano]

It’s a question of whether it is a life choice or an impulse buy with the ramifications of what it means not fully explored. Stent wear or catheter wear can give a glimpse of what that lifestyle is like.
 

for example, in my own case. I have been seeking incontinence for the better part of the last twenty years. Over the last year or so I have delved heavily into stent and simulated incontinence. I have been 24/7 for almost 25 years. Therefore, if I had the disposable income and time to dedicate to this surgery, I would.  
 

but not everyone has the same experience. I would say the naysayers, which is odd here as this is the “incontinent desires” sub forum, are not downplaying the surgery, but rather asking if this is a fetishist scratch that will lose interest once scratched and lead to isolation, regret and potential long term health complications or a decision come to after weighing out everything and saying, “this is what is necessary” 

[cathdiap]

If someone decides to share their decision to have incontinence surgery on this forum, should we all cheer them on? Should we only comment if we support their decision?

I think it is human nature to protect our fellow man or prevent him from doing things he might regret later. In fact, it is your moral duty as a human being to protect your fellow man from harm, injury or worse.

So if you don't want disapproval or negative advice, keep it to yourself and don't let anyone know. In fact, the mere fact that someone shares such decisions on this forum makes me suspect that person is using it to draw attention to it. And that is fine, but negative attention is also part of it.

So..... If TS doesn't know what it is like to ALWAYS leak urine, I highly recommend that he deal with it for at least 6 months using a reversible technique.

As a long-term stent user, I can't tell you how happy I have been at times that I could still reverse my incontinence, even though I wear it almost all the time. Weddings, funerals, days at the beach, mountain hikes, etc. Incontinence can suddenly be very annoying, embarrassing and burdensome.

It is not hard to say that this will be fun and exciting to experience, but after a few weeks, months or years, even incontinence can become boring and annoying. We all know from another topic how TS was completely surprised by the impact of incontinence. I still regret that I so easily went along with his naive belief that he would absolutely love it.

[jeremy12312]

On 5/15/2025 at 10:35 AM, cathdiap said:

f someone decides to share their decision to have incontinence surgery on this forum, should we all cheer them on?

I live my life by the belief that if someone doesn't ask for advice, don't give it.  Saying nothing is always an option, the world doesn't hang on every person's every thought.

[cathdiap]

2 hours ago, jeremy12312 said:

I live my life by the belief that if someone doesn't ask for advice, don't give it.

So if you see someone about to jump off a building and he doesn't ask for your advice, you just let him jump?

[jeremy12312]

This thread started with the wording "I’ve spoken to the Surgeon in Mexico and I’m 100% ready..."  This isn't a person in the middle of a difficult decision for themself.  Either engage with conversation supportively, or keep your mouth shut.  This is Incontinent-Desires, not Incontinent-Desires (maybe?).  

And it certainly isn't Incontinent-Desires (suicide slippery slope logical fallacies).

[cathdiap]

45 minutes ago, jeremy12312 said:

This isn't a person in the middle of a difficult decision for themself

A little over a year ago Reddy gave the same Impression....

45 minutes ago, jeremy12312 said:

Either engage with conversation supportively, or keep your mouth shut. 

How is warning for possible unforseen consequences not supportive?

45 minutes ago, jeremy12312 said:

This is Incontinent-Desires

And I am here to tell TS that there is a big difference between a desire to become incontinent (fantasy) and actually being incontinent. Like Reddy said  "it is so different being on the other side".

And don't tell me to shut up. I think it's weak when you can't handle an opposing opinion. 

[dlnoir]

Personally I am happy with topics and discussions like these they help me channel my own thoughts and feelings. And in all fairness, I see good valid points both in the pro and con side of it all. Still, today, incontinence sounds and seems very appealing to me as I share the same feelings as Jojorabbit, Reddy, Bobby brown and maybe others I do not know about. Over time and reading all the stories I came to the decision not to pursue my feelings and for multiple reasons to be honest. That doesn’t mean the feelings and thoughts vanished all of a sudden, no way. I found ways to find a proper balance between the two worlds and that works for me, no need to pursue any further actions.

To me posting topics on a public forum is an open invitation to share your own thoughts as long as they do not go against rules and policies of the forum. Advice is something that comes free. I think and belief it is a part of sharing your insights otherwise the whole topic becomes very superficial. More than once unrequested advice triggered me to investigate different perspectives only to find they had a valid point or were spot on. Nobody tells you to follow the input from other members and if you don’t like it just ignore it and move on, that is also a free option. Telling other to refrain from sharing their thoughts well think about it, it is also free.

[jeremy12312]

15 hours ago, dlnoir said:

an open invitation to share your own thoughts as long as they do not go against rules and policies of the forum.

From the rules of this forum:

- If you don't have the desire to experience incontinence yourself that's fine but do not be critical of those who do in any way. This includes anything advising that there are problems with this that hasn't already been covered.

[cathdiap]

5 hours ago, jeremy12312 said:

From the rules of this forum:

- If you don't have the desire to experience incontinence yourself that's fine but do not be critical of those who do in any way. This includes anything advising that there are problems with this that hasn't already been covered.

Let @DailyDi be the judge. Should I delete my previous posts where I tried to investigate whether TS is fully aware of the impact of total incontinence? This in view of Reddy's experiences in another topic.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

19 hours ago, jeremy12312 said:

From the rules of this forum:

- If you don't have the desire to experience incontinence yourself that's fine but do not be critical of those who do in any way. This includes anything advising that there are problems with this that hasn't already been covered.

I'm fairly certain everyone replying, myself included, have incontinence desires. Advocating for doing it in a responsible way (e.g. the guidelines Bobby laid out for "testing" if surgery is right for you) is not being critical of those who do. 

Since you want to quote the rules, how about the first one:

Quote

Don't be an ass.

I'd say statements like this one in response to supportive but cautious and respectful members violate that rule: 

On 5/16/2025 at 1:32 PM, jeremy12312 said:

keep your mouth shut

 

[JunkyardDog1]

Just sitting here watching you a holes argue while the original poster will end up with a leaky pp regardless of what any of you say.  Any one of us could have body altering permanent surgery at the drop of a hat if we have the money (or finance it) and theres no one to stop us. Notice how op hasn't weighed in on any of your bs? Keep beating each other up from the comfort of your diaper and keyboard. That'll help.