Anxiety in story writing

[Electrically]

Hello all

Do any other story writers feel anxious about there writing?
Let me explain… So I write stories mostly because, I have read thousands of stories over the years, and years, and figure.

A. I should try to contribute in some way, to my favorite site. And if there are more stories it’s better for the site. 

B. I often fantasize about my “kink?”… or “fetish”…or maybe “lifestyle” and writing a story seems to qualify or quench or understand my unorthodox nature.

C. It gives me something to do, like a hobby… doing the same things year after year gets boring… causing me to feel numb. I do have lots of other things going on but things seem to get repetitive, and writing a story definitely interrupts the repetition.

But unlike many of you, I do not “Love” writing stories.

 A story idea develops in my head… I add different details, and plot twists, by reading other stories and identify certain sequences or scenarios that “tickle my toes” then I put a “ruff draft” together that is very, very ruff. Then I write a slightly less ruff draft, trying to incorporate more details etc. so far I’ve written most of my new story before posting any of it. 
 

I don’t seem to be anxious about the story, at this point, I kinda figure people will like it or don’t, and I’m not here to decide whether something should be liked, and obviously some of us have very different fantasies surrounding the ABDL world.

so I post the first few chapters, pretty quick. I read over each chapter before posting it, hoping to catch punctuation or spelling errors, (which if you read any of my stories, I don’t do that good of job with) but it is what it is, and I don’t figure on getting any kind of award for it, (basically I am writing “diaper smut”) 

but then something seems to happen… I can’t figure out why… somewhere along the way I seem to become more and more critical about my story… reading over and over… to the point that it’s like becoming obsessive… like hoping to find a way to explain something better…or express how I want the reader to feel… but I just can’t find the words or put them in the right order or create a feeling I’m looking for. Some of you (other writers) are sooo good at making me feel or directing a scene etc. and I feel worse and worse the more times I read my silly story. To the point where my confidence is completely gone.. I don’t know if my story makes any sense, let alone any good. 

I try not to think about it, or just try to push through the process, and usually I do, but I can’t help but feel totally insane.

maybe I should quit writing stories

Any thoughts?🤔

Thanks E

[Cute_Kitten]

There's a saying: Comparison is the thief of joy. If you enjoy writing them I say write. We all started somewhere. Some of us have been writing for years, so we've had plenty of time to hone our craft. 

Writing is like any other skill: the more you practice the better you get. So if you want to write like a writer you admire, just keep writing! 

Don't let other stories make you feel bad like you're not good enough. Use them as a learning experience! There's a technique some writers use to improve their own writing. It's called "read like a writer". Take any story or book you love. Read it once for enjoyment. Then go back and deconstruct it. Take a few moments to analyze a scene to figure out how the writer made that scene work- pay attention to things like how the author reveals character through the characters actions and words, how the plot flows, etc. For example, was it a sweet romance that melted your heart? Try to figure out how the author made you feel that way. Was it a horror story that had you soaking your pampers? Try to figure out how the author scared you. It's just all words on a screen that comes together to pull the reader into a fictional world. 

Editing your stories is always good. Even professional published big name authors like Stephen King edit. Hell they have professional editors lol! But you also don't want to fall into the trap of over-editing. 

I'm reiterating but writing is a skill like anything else. The more you practice the better you get. Like any hobby, you should only do it if you enjoy it. 

[Gummybear]

I'm going to agree with Cute_Kitten about comparing your work to other people's.  Comparing it to your own, older works on the other hand can be useful.  If you look at texts you wrote when you started out years ago and you don't cringe and feel an urge to rewrite them, you're not human.  I still have things I wrote more than thirty years ago and it almost hurts to read them.  My point is that looking at your previous work lets you see where you've improved and can encourage you to strive to become even better.  Other than that, just remember that nobody starts out great at anything.  Sure, you can have certain advantages that gives you an edge or lets you improve more rapidly (e.g. like being really tall if you play basketball), but writing is like any other skill.  It takes practice.  And repetition.  And more practice.

[Electrically]

Thanks so much for your replies,

 I agree with both of your comments. I probably do compare too much, but honestly I don’t think I am anywhere close to as good at writing as a lot of others. And I probably won’t ever be. And that’s ok. 
I imagine most of the better story writers enjoy reading, and probably read a significant amount of novels Etc. I am not. Honestly I don’t think I ever read an entire novel in my entire life. I definitely don’t have a favorite. 

But writing stories is unlike anything else I do or really ever did. 

. I work construction, (electrician) and typically things are difficult in the beginning, bigger jobs have a mountain of information to look through and there are so many questions. It’s can cause some anxiety.

 But as the project moves along, things get clearer, and even though it may seem like chaos. I gain more confident in being able to make everything work. 

so story writing for me is completely opposite. As I get closer to the end I tend to just lose my mind.(not that it’s necessary the worst thing, losing your mind can be amusing) I don’t know why but I read the last chapter of the current story at least 50 times, I felt like I didn’t even comprehend words by the time I posted it. It  could’ve been the best or worst story in the whole wide world. I have no idea. (Well that’s not completely true, its definitely not the best story)

it’s probably something to do with my ADHD or whatever psychological problem. But no one is perfect but so what ever. 

so I am going to try to just ask more direct questions. (for anyone that feels like answering)

does anyone feel like this 

How many times do you reread your chapter, or part, weather you are editing or adding details, or whatever?

How do you feel about your chapter or part after you decide you’re done with it? Are you’re feelings pretty consistent?

Does this change later in the story? Are you consistent, with your approach, or system from the first chapter to the last?

Best E
 

[Cute_Kitten]

If you're feeling overwhelmed, you can try to break it down. Edit once for clarity and continuity- Do character actions and words make sense? How does this scene or part advance the plot and affect the overall story? Then proofread once for the mechanical aspects like spelling and grammar. Are you trying to do everything all at once and getting overwhelmed? 

If you feel too overwhelmed, you can recruit the readers to help you out. Give readers a note at the beginning of the chapter like "hey guys I'm having problems deciding what to edit. I don't know what works or what doesn't work. Feedback would be appreciated!" That way reader feedback can offer you some guidance and perspective on how your story is doing and what works for you and areas you can improve on. 

Everyone's editing process is different. Some people heavily edit. Some people barely edit at all.   Even the act of writing varies writer by writer. Some people plan things out and have pre-writing notes on who the characters are, their personalities, their backgrounds, and have the plot figured out as well- what will happen, how the characters feel about it and how the story events will affect and shape the characters, etc. Some people fly by the seat of their pants and just make everything up as they go along. Some do a bit of both.  Experiment and see what works for you. If you want to try planning ahead, just google "writing plot maps". There's simple and detailed versions out there and there's youtube tutorials for filling them in/ general writing tips and exercises so you can experiment and learn what works for you and what doesn't. Heck, there's books on how to write books. 😆 There's books that focus on just one or two aspects of writing- everything from plotting to character arcs to editing.  And tons of free youtube videos all on the same subjects. 

When you write (or do any other hobby or skill) long enough, you'll be familiar with it and you will know through experimenting what works best for you and what doesn't and how to fit writing time (or knitting time or surfing time or whatever) into your daily life. 

[spark]

2 hours ago, Electrically said:

How many times do you reread your chapter, or part, weather you are editing or adding details, or whatever?

How do you feel about your chapter or part after you decide you’re done with it? Are you’re feelings pretty consistent?

Does this change later in the story? Are you consistent, with your approach, or system from the first chapter to the last?

Best E
 

For me, this was very much a learning process.  My rough drafts frequently have grammar errors, and a lot of passive sentences.  

My process is to plan out the chapter in my head and then write as fully as possible in one setting.   If I released that version of it, the writing would be distracting, and I don't like it.  The plot is set, but it needs work.   In the 2nd version, I look to expand the plot, and start editing the words.  I rewrite one paragraph at a time.   I use a read aloud the third time and try to get rid of the clunky sentences.   That one ends up taking a majority of the time.   I keep using the read aloud until I can go the whole chapter without stopping it to rework a sentence.  The way I know it's good is when my screensaver comes one.  At this point I become a bit obsessed, and frequently lose track of time.

My process is not quick, and I need to be fresh to do it.  I can respond to social media after work, but i couldn't write a story because by this point I can't focus long enough to write anything.

[Electrically]

Thanks 

I decided to take a little break from story writing, for a bit. kinda let my head reset hopefully regain some focus.

but I do really appreciate your advice and support, and I actually think it’s pretty interesting to hear about different people’s processes for story writing.

it’s quite a interesting talent. 
 

thanks again E