Robin Crusoe (4th Kasarberang Story Contest, Part Eight, 9/8/2024)

[Moon3ye]

At first I was confused as to whether the Amazon had come to our world or was stranded on one of the legendary Little Isles.

Now we know that she is in our world and has found a little Sissy Little who needs help.

The only thing I can't figure out is the boy's uncle.

Threatening the father and now eliminating him but letting his nephew, his sister's son, live on is okay?

But well, otherwise we wouldn't have the plot

[CCApril]

4 hours ago, Kat5 said:

(On the upside, he may soon get some feeling of love and affection that has been painfully absent in his life for so long. Just not in any way he would expect.)

Sammie is about to see just how much love an extremely lonely 12 foot Amazonian woman can deliver!

2 hours ago, kerry said:

but now we have a stranded Amazon on Earth who has found what appears to be a sissy Little, one who would likely reciprocate any positive emotions she gave him. Twisty, fun stuff!

Thank you! Twisty fun stuff is enjoyable to write.

1 hour ago, Kat5 said:

Not only that, but a lost little that appears to be a sissy, wet and messy. AND that just so happens to have a mortal wound and a shattered hip bone.

I tried to trigger as many Amazon instincts as I could.  

1 hour ago, mushy bottom said:

Terrific story. Kudos for taking the time to detail the setting and build a character that we can feel for.

Thank you! Despite all the things Sammie has to go through with Robin none of it will be because he is unloved.

[Kat5]

4 minutes ago, CCApril said:

I tried to trigger as many Amazon instincts as I could.

Let's see ... small, dressed cutely, soiled, injured, helpless, unable to walk, fend for self, lost, very literally trapped in a box, first word of "Mommy?" ...

I can't think of any you missed. Maybe starving, but that'll come along sooner rather than later anyway.

 

[CCApril]

33 minutes ago, Moon3ye said:

The only thing I can't figure out is the boy's uncle.

Threatening the father and now eliminating him but letting his nephew, his sister's son, live on is okay?

The uncle was an ass. He could have taken Sammie away from his father but was more concerned about his own interests. The only reason for being involved at all was some guilt over his sisters death. He told himself that what he was doing was for the boys own good, Just another authority figure who failed Sammie. 

[CCApril]

Chapter 3

There was not much for Robin to do now. In the first weeks she had plenty to do. Exploring the island. Recovering goods from her sunken ship. A view from the top of one of the cliffs showed her ship sunk in about twenty meters of water. Barely deeper than the deep end of a good dive pool back home. She was able to recover lots of supplies, well, all the supplies that remained anyway. She had nothing else to do with her time. Unfortunately, over half the supplies were for Littles. Put out a call for relief supplies and predictably you get a lot of support for the suffering Littles.

There was food for her to eat and some clothes to wear. Eventually the thought of wearing clothes seemed silly. One day she just stopped wearing any. It was embarrassing at first, then exhilarating and finally just natural. While there was canned and packaged food, she used it to supplement what she could catch in the sea or scrounge from the jungle. There was even medicine and medical supplies for Amazons as well as for Littles. There were even some nanite packages for Littles but as far as she knew they would not activate in this dimension.

Finding the ship had been a big deal but finding the cave was life changing. At least island life changing.

Robin had been on her third circuit of the island. Not really looking for anything but mentally cataloging vegetation and beach features. She took notice of a large boulder at the tree line. This was not unusual. There were lots of boulders scattered amongst the trees. What was unusual was the height of the boulder. It was around two and half meters tall. Taller than any of the humans that lived in this dimension. Something on the top of boulder sparkled and caught her attention.

Curious, Robin walked over and took a close look at the top of the boulder. The sparkle had come from a little spot that had been polished smooth. Next to the glossy spot was a tiny arrow. She had run her finger along it, needing the physical sensation to help her believe it was real. The arrow pointed into the jungle. The jungle looked thicker here. More inhospitable. Unless you were over three meters tall.

From her naturally heightened view she could see that there was a rough path. Even overgrown and neglected the path was still visible. She had followed the path and ten minutes later she was standing in front of a sheer cliff face. Cut into the cliff face was a groove. The groove was set about the same height as the top of the boulder. She grabbed it and pulled it toward her. Nothing happened. Then she pushed. Nothing happened. Then she used both hands and shoved. Hard.

She had half expected movement but had not expected how much cliff face moved. A huge piece over three meters wide and five meters tall slid into the space behind it. It slid inward about three meters before stopping. The stone slab was thin, maybe ten centimeters. It took a lot of strength to get it moving but the rails imbedded in the floor carried the weight easily and the slab slid with only a slight grinding noise as dust was ground between the wheels and the rail. The cave behind the slab was dark. Her eyes, having adjusted to the bright sunlight and white sandy beaches took a long time to adjust to the darkness.

She was sure that everything she had seen had been made by Amazon hands. She was obviously not the first Amazon to be stuck here. Judging by the dust it had been many years since any Amazon occupied the cave. She guessed the cave was part of an old lava tube. It was almost perfectly round maybe thirty meters wide and the back of it lost into the darkness. The floor had been worked on. It had been flattened and smoothed.

She left the cave and returned later with a flashlight that she had rescued from her sunken ship. Besides a giant cave she could stay in, she found three surprises. The first was the skeleton of a large Amazon. Judging by the bones she guessed he or she must have been at least five meters tall. That made him even taller than her father, who she always thought was a big man. The next surprise was a cistern that was near the back of the lava tube. Fresh water trickled down a rock face and filled a large built-up pool. There was all the fresh water she would ever need. As the cistern overflowed the water disappeared through a small opening in the wall. Well planned and appreciated. Almost as much as the other surprise. There was a large niche cut into the wall and set into the floor was a hole. Circular and about a meter across. She peeked down and below she saw swirling water. Looked like seawater. Hah. Indoor plumbing! She knew where a crate full of toilet paper and baby wipes was.

The first thing she did was bury the body. She was curious at how the body was so clean. Then it hit her. The handy sea toilet probably let in some kind of carrion beetle or crab. They had had all the time in world to clean the bones. Best she could figure was that the unknown Amazon was probably just a user of the cave like she was. The wonderful cave was definitely the work of more than one person.

It took her two weeks to move all the crates into the cave. She arranged the crates to give her the illusion of a bedroom. She used even more to build a table with crates for seats. All in all, it was way better than sleeping on the beach.

In all that time there was no sign of a ship on the water or a plane overhead. There were plenty of satellites zipping across the sky at night though. The only sign of civilization she saw.

Time dragged by. She learned to fish with a line, a spear and even trapped some crabs and lobsters. Took a few critters to make a good meal but she made sure to move around the island so that she didn’t ruin the ecosystem by over harvesting.

Time kept dragging on. She used parts of the ship to build herself a bed, complete with her old foam mattress from her quarters. She pulled a toilet from the ship and mounted it over the floor hole. No more squatting for her. She even managed to get some solar power. Now she could have a few hours of lights and music. She found some media to play in the crates, but she was never quite desperate enough to watch the Little programs.

Time kept dragging on and on. She loved the sea, running her boat was her life. She was solitary by nature but the months of being alone were hard. She thought about leaving the island. She had recovered a lift raft. However, there was no place to go and nobody to care if she got there. Not to mention the high probability of her being killed by the locals. There was the rift, but she didn’t know where it was or when it opened. A pointless and dangerous quest.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Robin stood on the edge of the tide pool and stared down at her reflection. The last nine months of island living had erased most of her body fat. She wore no clothes. What was the point? Maybe if her breasts were bigger she would need a bra, but right now they were perfect perky globes. She flexed her muscles and thought ‘who is that bronze goddess in the water?’ Her hair was bleached blonder then normal under the relentless sun. She giggled a little, even her pubic hair was bleached by the sun.

She gave herself a cheeky wink and continued her morning walk. Half for exercise and half for security, she took a trek around the island every day. Plus, interesting things washed up on the beach occasionally. She put the netting she found to good use. Was perplexed by the small inflatable shark until she realized it was actually a toy for little children to play with. She put that in the cave because she thought it was funny. Also, she got strangely depressed by a tiny sad looking volleyball. She threw that up into the bushes so she wouldn’t have to see it again.

Robin was halfway through her trip around the island when she saw a square green object. It was at the surf line being slowly rocked back and forth. It was low tide a little bit ago and now the water was rising and trying to take the object back out to sea. As she got closer, she thought it looked like a piece of luggage. Nice luggage someone would use for airline carryon. She sighed and shifted her perspective. It was actually too big for a human to use for any kind of luggage.

She was just about to bend down and exam the fancy expensive looking luggage when she heard it. It was whimpering. A childish noise that spoke of pain and suffering. Robin paused and listened. The noise came again, softer, somehow sadder. It came from the luggage at her feet. She dropped to her knees and slowly reached out for the latches. Cautiously popping open each one. Not sure what could be making that noise. Something alive for sure. A cat or a dog she thought. It looked like someone put air holes in the top. Maybe a child sneaking a beloved pet on board before the wind and sea washed it overboard.

She flipped open the lid. Totally expecting an animal to jump out. It was not an animal. It was not anything she would have guessed in a million years. There was a baby in the box. A baby girl. Maybe three or four years old. It was hard to tell with her all curled up.

Then the smells slapped her in the face. Blood, vomit, pee, poop and worst of all the sickening smell of infection. Something truly horrific had happened to her. Her mind kind of stuttered. So many actions came together, things she must do, but they crowded together causing her to freeze in panic. All she could think was Baby, a Baby, a Baby. Her indecision was cut short as she saw the prettiest blue eyes she had ever seen. She was looking up at Robin. She spoke softly, almost too quietly to hear. The little girl said “Mommy.” Then her eyes closed. Passed out once more.

There was no paralysis now. There was motion. She reached down and tore the lid off the box. She just chucked it to the side. There was no way she was going to lock the baby back into the box. She gently picked up the remaining half and ran back to her cave. She ran just above the surf line where the sand was hard packed. Every jostle made her cringe as the girl whimpered and cried with pain. She dreaded seeing what was under, what was once the cutest dress she ever saw. It was crusted with everything and lost its beauty. But she could imagine how pretty the girl looked and how special she must have felt.

She ran. As she ran her mental litany changed from the poor baby, got to save the baby. It morphed to my baby, got to save my baby. She gave no thought to the change. It was hardwired into her Amazon DNA.

Though she had never given any serious thought to becoming a mother or adopting a Little. All of the maternal instincts were activated. She wanted to hold and protect the little one. She wanted to hunt down a kill all who were involved in hurting her child. She was awash in feelings and emotions that would take time for her to sort out and understand. Three steps into her frantic run her brain released the chemicals which would have breasts filling with milk for the first time in her life.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Robin burst into the cave holding the baby as gently as she could. She set her down on the table and dove into the crates stacked at the rear of the cave. All the Little stuff was stacked in the back. She had very little use for any of it. It was in the fourth crate she opened. She almost destroyed the crates as she tore them open. Faster! Her baby could die because she was too slow. She unpacked the Portable Little Diagnostic Computer or PLDC for short. It was a slightly older model, otherwise nobody would have donated it. Even for a relief effort the things were very expensive. They were designed for doctors to take into disaster areas

Robin had been required to register herself with the device. If there was no doctor available there were emergency protocols that could be enacted. She needed to able enact them to turn the machine over to a nondoctor. She had not wanted her identity associated with any of the equipment, just in case she could be traced. Now she was so happy that she had.

She turned the machine on and waited impatiently for it to start up.

WARNING – THIS DEVICE IS IN AN UNAUTHORIZED DIMENSION! A shrill voice rang out from the machine.

WARNING – THIS DEVICE IS IN AN UNAUTHORIZED DIMENSION! The same shrill voice repeated.

Robin yelled initiate emergency override Alpha 1A Crusoe!

The machine paused.

Voice Authentication Accepted. Secondary Authorization Required.

A small screen lit up and a small box appeared. Below the box it read Thumbprint Required. Robin knelt and held her eye up to the square. The thumbprint was a red herring. If a print appeared the PLDC would have shut itself down and would require a factory reset.

Emergency Override Accepted. Flashed across the screen.

Robin turned the PLDC toward the little girl and said, “Initiate full body scan.”

Full Body Scan Initiated. The machine’s voice was loud in the quiet cave.

A scanning device lifted from the computer and scanned the girl. Head to toe, toe to head and then back to her pelvic reason. It stayed over her pelvis and the tone changed several times as different scans were completed.

Text rolled across the screen.

WARNING BULLET WOUND DETECTED – CONTACTING LPS AND LOCAL POLICE AUTHORITY

WARNING INITIAL CONTACT HAS FAILED – EVIDENCE STORAGE INITIATED

Scanning……………. Even while the scanning continued data was filling up the screen.

Subject: Human aka Portal Little – No Record of Adoption

Age: Approximately 18 years of age.

Sex: Male – Note: Presents as Female

The text abruptly stopped then continued. A small device dropped from the side of the PLDC.

Blood Sample Required

Blood Sample Required

The request kept flashing. Robin picked it up and examined the device. It was a simple finger prick device that would capture a drop or two of blood. Apparently, the machine did not require much. She gently used it to take blood from the child’s thumb. She had read the words Human, Male, 18 years but they didn’t really register. Not yet anyway.

She took the blood sample and fed it to the machine.

Scanning……………………………Scanning

The machine beeped and medical jargon began to fill the screen. It probably would have made a lot of sense to a doctor, but it was mostly meaningless to Robin. She understood a word here and there. Infection, Blood loss, Dehydration, Nerve Damage, Muscle Damage, and Broken Hip Bone.

EMERGENCY MEDICAL TREATMENT REQUIRED

EMERGENCY MEDICAL TREATMENT REQUIRED

The unneeded alert blared loudly.

Robing yelled “Initiate medical treatment!”

WARNING ……… MEDICAL TREATMENT CAN NOT BE ADMINISTERED

Per Order 66 Humans In This Dimension Cannot Be Treated By This Device Without The Consent Of Patient, Guardian, Parent or Doctor.

Robin desperately called out “Initiate override!”. Trying not to break down as the girls breathing started to become irregular.

Order 66 Cannot Be Overridden. (Robin will never know why but this is a result of secret agreements between Dimensional Governments trying to control technological advances and human abuses by Amazons within the human dimension. April)

“Shit!” Robin swore desperately. This was stupid! She held her panic and tried to think. She considered what the machine had said. It had said parent.

Robin tried another option. She said, “Initiate adoption procedure.”

The machine paused a moment and responded. She crossed her fingers. It was an Amazon machine. Its purpose was to save Little’s lives after all.

Human Adoption From This Dimension Requires Consent Of Adoptee

She clenched her teeth and said, “Initiate emergency adoption procedure.”

The machine paused for two seconds. An eternity to poor Robin.

Human Adoption From This Dimension Requires Consent Of Adoptee

The same message flashed across the screen.

Robin screamed “No, No! There must be a way.” How could she lose her now. She just found her. She fell to her knees and quietly sobbed out “She called me Mommy.”

Suddenly and unexpectedly the machine called out.

Analyzing Eyewitness Testimony Of Consent……………………………….

Eyewitness Testimony Of Consent Accepted. Voice Analysis – 96% Probability Of Truth.

Eyewitness Testimony Included With Patient File

Emergency Adoption Approved Pending Adoptee Consent Within Six Weeks.

Adoptee Name?

Trying desperately to control her wildly swinging emotions Robin didn’t understand at first what she was reading. She read it twice before it clicked that her adoption was approved.

She grabbed family names. Amber for her grandmother. Lynn for her mother. She called out “Amber Lynn Crusoe.”

Patient File Updated

Initiating Nanite Treatment.

There was a slight clunking noise within the machine.

More statements whirled across the screen.

WARNING ………NANTIES DEACTIVATED DUE TO DIMENSIONAL SECURITY

INIATING EMERGENCY ACTIVATION………APPROVED PER CONDITIONS OUTLINED UNDER ORDER 66

Limited Nanite Activation Achieved

Flesh, Muscle and Bone Repair – Active (Reduced Efficiency)

Blood Detoxification - Active (Reduced Efficiency)

Nerve Repair - Active (Reduced Efficiency)

Standard Inoculation Package -Active

Rooting Reflex - Activated (Due To Lack Of Intravenous Nutritional Supply)

Mental Regression Package – Inactive

Physical Regression Package – Inactive

Gender Reassignment Package – Inactive

ATTENTION NANITE PROGRAMMING COMPLETE

Please Take Syringe And Inject Into Amber Lynn Crusoe’s Thigh

Robin grabbed a small syringe from a small tray that opened and slid out from the PLDC. She quickly moved over to Amber and gently injected the slightly cloudy liquid into the exposed thigh. She put the syringe down and gently rubbed the spot.

Barely looking away from her new daughter she said, “Will she be, ok?”

The PLDC spoke.

Prognosis For Amber Lynn Crusoe

Flesh Wound – 100% Recovery

Infection – 100% Recovery

Dehydration – 100% Recovery

Anemia - 100% Recovery

Malnutrition - 100% Recovery

Broken Hip Bone – 85% Recovery

Muscle And Ligaments – 71% Recovery

Nerve Damage – 52% Recovery

Nerve Damage Effects

Permanent Incontinence Probability 85%

Mobility – 30% Recovery

Walking  - Unlikely, Short distance May Be Possible With Intense Physical Therapy

Standing – Short Periods, Longer Periods May Be Achieved With Physical Therapy

Crawling - Ok

Medically Induced Coma Required – Duration Approximately 11 days

As the machine spoke Robin found her heart going up and down. At first it was all good news. Then the news got worse and worse. She found her voice “Coma?”

The machine paused its litany of medical terms and conditions.

An Induced Coma Is Required Due To Limited Nanite Activation

Repairs Will Be Slow, Painful And Have Reduced Effectiveness

Coma Is Required

The PLDC paused and continued.

Slow Recovery Speed Will Reduce Body Mass Loss

Currently Estimated At 12%

Feeding Every Four Hours Will Reduce Loss Of Bodily Mass

Activation Of Rooting Reflex Will Allow Feeding Of Formula Or Breast milk

Robin reflexively stepped back from Amber. Breast milk? Her. Wow. It was something she never thought would happen. Can she do it? She was the only one of her group of friends who never accidentally started lactating in high school. It had worried her mother but not Robin. She didn’t want a baby, Amazon or Little. She wanted to a ship, like her dad.

She looked down at her chest, the PLDC, the baby. No, her baby. She began to laugh. She had started her day bored and lonely, wishing for a change. She got change. Lots and lots of change.

She would approach this like her stay on the island. Address the issue in front of her. Each issue in its own time. She said, “Can I remove her clothes and get her cleaned up?”

The machine beeped and responded.

Yes. No Diaper Until The Bullet Has Been Expelled.

Please Keep PLDC Close To Child For Periodic Scans.

Then the lights went out and the machine went quiet.

[LGGrace]

I love where this story is going.  When Robin threw the volleyball away, I was like, 'No, not Wilson'.

[Kat5]

50 minutes ago, CCApril said:

Also, she got strangely depressed by a tiny sad looking volleyball.

Wilson!!!

29 minutes ago, LGGrace said:

I love where this story is going.  When Robin threw the volleyball away, I was like, 'No, not Wilson'.

I immediately thought the same thing.

 

And it's amusing, here we have this great chapter, and I halfway expect the comments to be filled with Wilson references!

[BabySofia]

31 minutes ago, LGGrace said:

I was like, 'No, not Wilson'.

I laughed at that too!

 

Interesting tale so far, really looking forward to more - especially when 'she' wakes up! (At least she will wake up!)

[Babypants]

This is a terrific story, and I emphasize the word "story."  You've done a first class job describing the cave and how she found it, creating a setting that is often missing in what appears in this forum.  With only two characters on the horizon, and being trapped on an island that's primitive, detailed descriptions like this are vital to make good the loss of variety that is available in more conventional settings.

Since I don't read stuff set in other dimensions, I guess I should ask: will she go on thinking of her Little as a baby, even though she knows that he's 18?  I have no sense of how long Amazons live, or how their life cycle breaks down.  When does one cease being an infant in her culture?

I'm curious.  She is about the same size as the Cyclops in Homer's Odyssey.  Did they also come through the rift in the distant past?

Again, well done.  

[mushy bottom]

Light years the best entry so far.  Right now, it looks like a slam dunk to take the prize.

[CCApril]

36 minutes ago, Babypants said:

Since I don't read stuff set in other dimensions, I guess I should ask: will she go on thinking of her Little as a baby, even though she knows that he's 18?  I have no sense of how long Amazons live, or how their life cycle breaks down.  When does one cease being an infant in her culture?

I'm curious.  She is about the same size as the Cyclops in Homer's Odyssey.  Did they also come through the rift in the distant past?

I will stick with Robin the Amazon instead of the whole culture. Every Author here has a bit of a twist. Amazon life spans are similar to humans, There culture has strong maternal instincts and very low birth rates. Once adopted they don't see Littles as their true age, in the sense that they grow up and leave home someday. They will always be a child. Some with more intellectual freedom then others. Some Amazons chemically or physically force the Little to assume whatever age pleases their Mommy. That does not really come to play in this story.

Sammie (now Amber) has already had his body regressed due to her injuries. He will have no choice but to be seen as a child physically through no fault of Robin. They will have to find a balance without any other cultural influences except what they brought to the island. Some Amazon's are afraid of or disinterested in the Little's mind from before adoption. Robin is in the minority. As lonely as she is, conversation is a luxury she can't pass up even if she wanted too. 

This is new to Robin. Unlike her peers who dreamed about babies all through puberty, she dreamed of her dads boat. Mostly.

As for the Cyclops. It could very well be. Random giants showing up could not help but effect the primitive cultures that came across them. As you will see in a upcoming chapter.

As for not reading the ones set in other dimension. I will only say that there are some really good stories told here. Babysofia stories are wonderful. Another full length finished story is "Done Adulting".  Good stuff, very emotional writing.

That said I'm glad I could pull you into this one. Although we are firmly staying in this dimension.   

 

 

2 hours ago, Kat5 said:

And it's amusing, here we have this great chapter, and I halfway expect the comments to be filled with Wilson references!

Poor Wilson. Now we know where he ended up. I always imagined a beach is much like the "Land of the Lost". You never no what might wash up there.

20 minutes ago, mushy bottom said:

Light years the best entry so far.

Thanks! Big praise. 

[Guilend]

Okay, poor Wilson. HE MUST RETURN WITH VENGEANCE!!!!!!

I definitely enjoy this over the other entries 

But I'm also a huge diaper Dimension fan, so I'm probably also bias 😂 

[Babypants]

1 hour ago, CCApril said:

Although we are firmly staying in this dimension.   

 

Which is why I shall continue reading it.  

 

1 hour ago, CCApril said:

Amazon life spans are similar to humans, There culture has strong maternal instincts and very low birth rates. Once adopted they don't see Littles as their true age, in the sense that they grow up and leave home someday. They will always be a child

Which is why I stay away from these stories.  Fiction allows us to explore the human condition in a way that fact rarely permits, but only when we stay inside the boundaries of human experience, which is ultimately about change and the often grudging acknowledgement of our mortality.  Science fiction sometimes does this in remarkable ways.  Want to address the bedrock question of what it means to be human?  Tackle Frank Robinson's Dark Beyond the Stars, Ken Grimwood's Replay, or Richard Morgan's Altered Carbon.  

[CCApril]

14 minutes ago, Babypants said:

  Science fiction sometimes does this in remarkable ways.  Want to address the bedrock question of what it means to be human?  Tackle Frank Robinson's Dark Beyond the Stars, Ken Grimwood's Replay, or Richard Morgan's Altered Carbon.  

You could add Philip K. Dicks "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" (Yes. I only read it because of Blade Runner) to the list as well. I will have to look for the first two. The only one I have read is Altered Carbon. Science fiction is more hit and miss for me. Love a good space opera but only once in a while.

[Moon3ye]

Execute Order 66.

I laughed a lot at the reference

By the way, clothing would still be important, at least to a certain extent, because it protects you from sunburn and gives you less surface area to dry out.

[CCApril]

1 hour ago, Moon3ye said:

Execute Order 66.

I laughed a lot at the reference

I was curious which reference would be most noticed. Wilson won by a landslide. 

Good point on the clothes. I needed my naked bronze goddess for an upcoming chapter. I will say her skin is tougher then human skin and call it good. Her unclothed state will be noticed soon in the story too. Thanks for commenting!

[Guilend]

11 minutes ago, CCApril said:

I was curious which reference would be most noticed. Wilson won by a landslide. 

Good point on the clothes. I needed my naked bronze goddess for an upcoming chapter. I will say her skin is tougher then human skin and call it good. Her unclothed state will be noticed soon in the story too. Thanks for commenting!

I noticed 66, but Wilson was a lot funnier. 😂 

[Kat5]

31 minutes ago, Guilend said:

I noticed 66, but Wilson was a lot funnier. 😂 

Same!

5 hours ago, CCApril said:

Another full length finished story is "Done Adulting".  Good stuff, very emotional writing.

I second this! Done Adulting is a super SUPER well written story!

3 hours ago, Babypants said:

Fiction allows us to explore the human condition in a way that fact rarely permits, but only when we stay inside the boundaries of human experience

All fiction requires at least a little "Suspension of Disbelief" for the sake of story telling.

Although I will admit that I've got a little project that is set a little outside of the city to provide some distance for the sake of story telling. It's sort of a simpler setting (and one that I'll admit is familiar, being a country kitty)

[Guilend]

8 minutes ago, Kat5 said:

Same!

I second this! Done Adulting is a super SUPER well written story!

When I got out of my first mental hospital stay, I tried to get my boss to let me get a volleyball to put at my framing table so I could having someone intelligent to talk to. He wouldn't let me 😂 

[Babypants]

9 hours ago, CCApril said:

Love a good space opera but only once in a while.

Have you read Asimov's Foundation series?

[Babypants]

6 hours ago, Kat5 said:

All fiction requires at least a little "Suspension of Disbelief" for the sake of story telling

I'll have to disagree with this.  Fiction runs the gamut from shallow entertainment to serious social commentary, and some writers are capable of both.  Some genres are geared to entertainment by their very nature (mysteries), but require no suspension of disbelief whatsoever (Raymond Chandler, Ed McBain).  Serious commentary, in contrast, may require enormous suspension of belief (Orwell's 1984).  The nice thing about fiction is that it does offer something for everybody.  On this site alone, you'll find everything from fantasy driven fetish porn to full length novels that address the human condition seriously.  Our readership would be much diminished were we writing for only a sliver of the spectrum.

[Kat5]

1 hour ago, Babypants said:

I'll have to disagree with this.  Fiction runs the gamut from shallow entertainment to serious social commentary, and some writers are capable of both.  Some genres are geared to entertainment by their very nature (mysteries), but require no suspension of disbelief whatsoever (Raymond Chandler, Ed McBain).  Serious commentary, in contrast, may require enormous suspension of belief (Orwell's 1984).  The nice thing about fiction is that it does offer something for everybody.  On this site alone, you'll find everything from fantasy driven fetish porn to full length novels that address the human condition seriously.  Our readership would be much diminished were we writing for only a sliver of the spectrum.

You know, I appreciate you taking the time to explain it to me this way!

I've always just considered the sci-fi sort of angle of "Well yeah, this is all a hypothetical flight of fancy" which I admit is on the extreme end of the spectrum presented. And I've always been a big fan of many (but not all) fantasy settings with magic and dragons and huge fluffy animals to pet. (There's a theme here)

I do like the stories that address the human condition, and focus on interactions between characters. It's rewarding to me when the characters all seem to have their own distinct personality and feel like their own person. Then even if you aren't particularly fond of that character, you at least *understand* them. Just like in Life, we don't have to like everyone we meet, but an ounce of understanding often helps*

(*Exceptions exist, sometimes understanding someone makes you want to bonk them.)

[CCApril]

2 hours ago, Babypants said:

Have you read Asimov's Foundation series?

In good old Forest Lake High School I took a science fiction class.  The teacher talked to each student and determined how many books you needed to read to get an A. You read the book, turned in a synopsis and that was about all that was required. It was there that I read the Foundation series, Dune and others. 

The teacher was quite the character. When he read roll the first time he said "If I mispronounce your last name it is because your family got it wrong." 

The last scifi series I read was by David Weber both his Honor Harrington Books and his Safehold Books. The Safehold books go on to show no matter how much proof you have that God exists, you have some people who are still going to do evil things. 

[Babypants]

43 minutes ago, Kat5 said:

I do like the stories that address the human condition, and focus on interactions between characters. It's rewarding to me when the characters all seem to have their own distinct personality and feel like their own person. Then even if you aren't particularly fond of that character, you at least *understand* them.

Here's an interesting test to take, and google can help you: how many people do you cross paths with on an average day?  If you live in an urban environment and are not housebound, the number will probably shock you.  This is one of the most common flaws in story telling around here.  Writers don't pay near enough attention to the physical setting (CCApril gets it really right in this chapter), nor do they populate the setting with the human bodies required to situate the tale in the real world.  The problem is ubiquitous in fetish oriented literature-- too much attention to the totem, and not near enough to the characters and setting.  It's vital in story telling that you give your readers someone to cheer for, and someone to boo, which means that the hero has to stand up to the villain.  This is where the dynamic tension that is key to effective story telling comes from-- and its absence is why in my professional judgment stories that orbit around the diaper humiliation of children, and especially pre-pubescent children, flop.  The power relationship between a parent/stepparent/guardian and a child is so ridiculously one sided that logically there are only two possible endings to such stories, and one of them is deus ex machina.  There is a way out of the box (humiliated child murders parent), but I don't expect anyone to sculpt this ending (which does happen in real life, roughly 200-300 times/year according to the FBI).

James Clavell is an author whose streets are vividly described and well populated (Noble House), but it doesn't take an epic format to do this.  Janet Evanovich brings Trenton, NJ of all places vividly to life in her long running Stephanie Plum series, and Paul Theroux's Hotel Honolulu and Arthur Hailey's Hotel (set in New Orleans, so hard to miss the mark) are classic example of how the setting can be turned into a stage on which the characters richly interact.

I'll close with an assignment that I used to give students at UCLA: write me a short story that is set in your living room.  Describe the setting, so that I would know the room instantly if I ever walked into it.  The cave in this chapter is fabulous!

[CCApril]

On 7/13/2024 at 9:46 AM, Babypants said:

I'll close with an assignment that I used to give students at UCLA: write me a short story that is set in your living room.  Describe the setting, so that I would know the room instantly if I ever walked into it.

Homework! That sucks.  

I put some thought into this. I bet you got pages of tedious description. The couch color, texture, orientation. The flooring. The wall color. Things that described the room but you would need time to actually recognize.

While I'm not actually going to write it I would approach this assignment by writing a simple layout description and then focus on one or two things that were unique enough you would notice them immediately. Like the star wars pinball machine or the chest high hand painted chess board. 

I have not taken any writing course beyond ENG 101 and 102.  Plus a technical writing class that covered report writing. But I did take to heart what my English 102 teacher said. "Make me cry, laugh or puke if you want an A."  I hope to skip the puking part.

Thank you everyone for reading this story and posting comments!