Overactive bladder confusion and frustration

[PrincessPaci]

Hey all!

 

First off, sorry I don’t post too much. I thought I would be more active on this site, but after work is over, I like to get away from screens.

 

Second off, I’m not entirely sure if this post belongs here, or if it should be moved.  

 

Okay, now that all that is out of the way…

 

I am confused on what I want with my diapered life. For some background, I have always loved diapers. It wasn’t until I was a little older that I liked dressing up in cute girly clothes, but the diapers have been a consistent desire in my life for as long as I can remember.

 

When I was a teenager, I started having bladder spasms and I would also have to go to the bathroom between every class in high school, but since it didn’t cause an issue, I never paid much attention to it. Once I got a job, I went to the doctor because I realized it isn’t normal to have to pee every hour or two. I got diagnosed with overactive bladder. I also had a few tests done to rule out anything else, but I was good. Just overactive bladder (OAB).

 

My symptoms for OAB are either:

•          I get a feeling that I have to pee instantly and I am at a breaking point almost every 15-30 minutes. I will then have a full-on normal pee and it’ll be crystal clear. This is a little less often, but still annoying when it happens.

•          I feel like I have to pee very badly, rush to the bathroom, just have a few dribbles and I’m good.

•          I feel a spasm that makes me feel like I should pee. It isn’t painful, but it is…weird.

•          I have horrible anxiety about my health, so please do not give me any ideas on what to worry about regarding my symptoms. I have recently been to my doctor, my bloodwork came back fine (include my kidney function) and everything else appears to be in good working order. Thank you!

 

That being said, my OAB gives me a lot of anxiety because I can never tell if I had to pee a lot, or if it is a “ghost pee.” My anxiety also makes all my OAB symptoms worse haha.

 

At the time I got diagnosed with OAB, diapers 24/7 was not an option for me because I was young and full of pride, even though I was in to diapers. I tried some different medicines, but they made it so it was almost impossible to pee, which was a very scary feeling. I ended up just having to change my habits (watch what I drink, when I drink it, Kegel workouts, and always go to the bathroom at any chance I had). Also, I would like to point out that my OAB symptoms are not constant. They come and go. Some days I will have a normal working bladder, others I will be in the bathroom peeing way too often.

 

A few years later, I got diagnosed with IBS. Once I got that diagnosis, I decided to swallow my pride and try Depends just to give me some piece of mind. This gave me much more security and I ended up just wearing Depends any time I left the house, even when my IBS wasn’t acting up. I kept wearing because it eased my anxiety when it came to my OAB. I have worn Depends any time I leave the house for about three years now. While I still always try and hold my bladder when I wear Depends (because they are Depends after all), I see them as a “you got a few more seconds” buffer, which eases my mind a bit and is better than having no protection. That is great, but I feel like I want more security in general.

 

I also want more security at home. Just yesterday I had an accident in a Zoom meeting. I wasn’t wearing a diaper or any padding, but ended up having to change into a diaper after that to be safe. I am sick of rushing to the bathroom when trying to play games, or in the middle of eating, before I do a task that should take just a few minutes, or doing the potty dance while trying to finish a work project. Sometimes I just want to be able to relax my bladder and let it empty whenever.

 

So sounds pretty cut and dry, right? Just give up control and start wearing all the time. Well, it isn’t. I’ll admit, I have thought about the idea of being incontinent as a sexual fantasy before, but any time I thought about the practicality of it I go, “No thank you. That seems hard.” I am typically a pretty active person and I can’t see wearing anything beyond a Depend on 20-30 mile bike rides, at the beach, on a rough hike, jogging, and so on. Also just wearing Depends only when I go out for the last 3 years has kind of put me off of HAVING to wear something even more time consuming/noticeable when I do anything. I know people can do it, but it sounds miserable to me. Kudos to those that are able to do it, whether willingly or out of necessity! I want the ability to wear and let go when I want.

 

“Well just do that then, ya dingus!”

 

I tried to wear and relax for about a week once when my OAB started getting really bad, and it took a few days for me to really get my bladder under control again. I got used to dribbling pee out, and when I tried to go out of diapers, I was going pee maybe every 45 minutes for a few days after (at least that is what it seemed like). It was a hassle. I didn’t mind it while I was diapered because I wasn’t stressed about running to the bathroom. I actually had a lot of peace of mind during that week. But I feel like if I got into a habit of doing that when I had the time to, I wouldn’t be incontinent, but I wouldn’t be able to stay away from a bathroom for long during the times where diapers aren’t an option in my book. I’d need to wear diapers in a sense, but would probably be able to make do with something smaller when I am doing something a diaper wouldn’t be good for.  

 

Another factor is my relationship. I live with my girlfriend, who is very supportive and understanding, but this isn’t her thing. She is nice enough to let me wear on “bad bladder days” and occasionally lets me dress up and do little stuff, long as she isn’t always involved. I am very grateful for this. She had also been super supportive and understanding on why I wear Depends when I leave the house. She’s great overall, and I am very fortunate to have her.

 

We have talked a few times about the idea of me going into diapers 24/7 (because the key to a healthy relationship is communication!) but she isn’t keen on the idea. She understands the Depends when I leave, or wearing thick diapers at home when my bladder is acting up, but since she knows I can usually get to the bathroom at home she doesn’t want diapers to be an all day, every day thing. I totally get it, and I don’t thin I want it to be 24/7, either for the reasons I listed above.  But I feel selfish for sometimes wanting more so I’m not uncomfortable in regards to my OAB.

 

All I know is that I want to not have to worry or stress about my OAB anymore. Does this mean wearing more? Maybe 24/7? Or does it mean getting to a point where I feel like I don’t NEED diapers and I only wear when I’m feeling little?

 

So yeah. I’m not entirely sure what kind of route I want to go down with my diapered life. I am interest to hear what your experiences have shown. Is 24/7 something that would be better in the long run for dealing with OAB? Is there some other middle ground that isn’t 24/7 any of you have found that has helped ease your hassles with your OAB? Should I focus on doing more Kegels to try and just make it better overall (I feel like Kegels make it harder to hold pee after doing them, though, which is why I avoid it most of the time)? What has helped you most?

 

Sorry for the wall of text! I hope you all have a great day and I appreciate you reading this far and for any insights you may have!

 

[WetDad]

Dude,

I'm totally with you. I am truly IC, but I once had DL leanings/desires. Now I'm an old f**k and I have IC issues that are between OAB and urge IC. For me, the IC monster takes charge in winter weather and disappears in the summer. I spend my summers worrying about if I will pee myself, even though I'm not wearing any protection and I've stayed dry for weeks. After years of this, and my wife knows/understands, I have settled into the following routine:

1. I start up my regular diaper orders every October. (northern hemisphere)

2. I stop them every May. If I'm running low, I get an extra 2-3 cases to use throughout the summer when things go awry.

3. I have a number of cloth diapers I can fall back on if needed, though that doesn't work well, since I'm not retired yet.

[PrincessPaci]

Thanks for the reply, WetDad! 

 

It sounds like your bladder acts up more than mine. I'm glad you have supporting wife on your side!

 

Is there anything you do to ease your worries when you've been dry and are not wearing protection? The fear of accidents is what keeps me in Depends when I go out. Would you say the winter is harder or easier for you mentally since you are wearing diapers consistently? 

 

Thanks again for your reply

[WetDad]

About the same, actually. I have been this way for a number of years now, so I am used to the rhythm of it all. In the summer, I do wear if I'm going out somewhere that is longer than 30 minutes. Most of the time, I'm just puttering around the house so I don't have to bother. The exception is when I mow the lower fields. Then, I spend hours on a noisy old diesel tractor that shakes my bladder loose. Always wear a diaper then.

[mick_dl]

Hi Paci,

maybe it helps to sort the things out. As I understand you have OAB issues and you like diapers and age play. How ever these are two different things and even if it seem to fit together it might be not the best idea to mix them up.  You may have just a small bladder what can cause your OAB problem and - if this is the case - you probably have to live with it. How ever - it is important to keep the capacity of the bladder and don't let it shrink even more. Exactly this will happen if you "de-train" your bladder or just wear diapers and let it go. So my suggestion would be: Take the time you need to play with your diapers and do what you like with it, but separate this from your daily business and try to find think that help with your OAB. Some food as well as some drinks (like coffee) can influence this heavily.  

I think you are lucky that you can control the urge and believe me - this is the better version of OAB. I also need to visit the washroom nearly every hour if I don't wont to risk to wet myself. I can deal lighter urges but if a heavier one hits me or my bladder cramps I lose most if it's content immediately. I need to wear protection 24/7 and this "need" part is unfortunately no fun at all anymore. If you had ask me that a couple of years ago my answer had been maybe a bit different - but anyway - so all I wont to say is think twice ...   

[PrincessPaci]

Hey mick_dl! Thanks for your reply.

 

Sorry if I caused any confusion. I think the main reason I've considered going a more 24/7 route is because of my frustrations with my OAB. As I mentioned, I don't think I could ever realistically do that just because my experience with Depends has been enough of a pain.

 

I was mainly wondering if people who went to 24/7 found their life easier considering their OAB. I just wanted to learn of people's experiences because right now, it doesn't sound easier, but it's just so frustrating right that am trying to be open to other options. That being said, I have started doing Kegals again to see if that might help.

 

Thanks!

Also, WetDad, I can imagine that tractor making it worse ? I used to work around similar equipment years ago. The tingling sensation was horrible for the OAB!

[mark686]

On 9/16/2020 at 9:18 AM, PrincessPaci said:

Hey all!

 

 

 

First off, sorry I don’t post too much. I thought I would be more active on this site, but after work is over, I like to get away from screens.

 

 

 

Second off, I’m not entirely sure if this post belongs here, or if it should be moved.  

 

 

 

Okay, now that all that is out of the way…

 

 

 

I am confused on what I want with my diapered life. For some background, I have always loved diapers. It wasn’t until I was a little older that I liked dressing up in cute girly clothes, but the diapers have been a consistent desire in my life for as long as I can remember.

 

 

 

When I was a teenager, I started having bladder spasms and I would also have to go to the bathroom between every class in high school, but since it didn’t cause an issue, I never paid much attention to it. Once I got a job, I went to the doctor because I realized it isn’t normal to have to pee every hour or two. I got diagnosed with overactive bladder. I also had a few tests done to rule out anything else, but I was good. Just overactive bladder (OAB).

 

 

 

My symptoms for OAB are either:

 

•          I get a feeling that I have to pee instantly and I am at a breaking point almost every 15-30 minutes. I will then have a full-on normal pee and it’ll be crystal clear. This is a little less often, but still annoying when it happens.

   

•          I feel like I have to pee very badly, rush to the bathroom, just have a few dribbles and I’m good.

   

•          I feel a spasm that makes me feel like I should pee. It isn’t painful, but it is…weird.

   

•          I have horrible anxiety about my health, so please do not give me any ideas on what to worry about regarding my symptoms. I have recently been to my doctor, my bloodwork came back fine (include my kidney function) and everything else appears to be in good working order. Thank you!

   

 

 

That being said, my OAB gives me a lot of anxiety because I can never tell if I had to pee a lot, or if it is a “ghost pee.” My anxiety also makes all my OAB symptoms worse haha.

 

 

 

At the time I got diagnosed with OAB, diapers 24/7 was not an option for me because I was young and full of pride, even though I was in to diapers. I tried some different medicines, but they made it so it was almost impossible to pee, which was a very scary feeling. I ended up just having to change my habits (watch what I drink, when I drink it, Kegel workouts, and always go to the bathroom at any chance I had). Also, I would like to point out that my OAB symptoms are not constant. They come and go. Some days I will have a normal working bladder, others I will be in the bathroom peeing way too often.

 

 

 

A few years later, I got diagnosed with IBS. Once I got that diagnosis, I decided to swallow my pride and try Depends just to give me some piece of mind. This gave me much more security and I ended up just wearing Depends any time I left the house, even when my IBS wasn’t acting up. I kept wearing because it eased my anxiety when it came to my OAB. I have worn Depends any time I leave the house for about three years now. While I still always try and hold my bladder when I wear Depends (because they are Depends after all), I see them as a “you got a few more seconds” buffer, which eases my mind a bit and is better than having no protection. That is great, but I feel like I want more security in general.

 

 

 

I also want more security at home. Just yesterday I had an accident in a Zoom meeting. I wasn’t wearing a diaper or any padding, but ended up having to change into a diaper after that to be safe. I am sick of rushing to the bathroom when trying to play games, or in the middle of eating, before I do a task that should take just a few minutes, or doing the potty dance while trying to finish a work project. Sometimes I just want to be able to relax my bladder and let it empty whenever.

 

 

 

So sounds pretty cut and dry, right? Just give up control and start wearing all the time. Well, it isn’t. I’ll admit, I have thought about the idea of being incontinent as a sexual fantasy before, but any time I thought about the practicality of it I go, “No thank you. That seems hard.” I am typically a pretty active person and I can’t see wearing anything beyond a Depend on 20-30 mile bike rides, at the beach, on a rough hike, jogging, and so on. Also just wearing Depends only when I go out for the last 3 years has kind of put me off of HAVING to wear something even more time consuming/noticeable when I do anything. I know people can do it, but it sounds miserable to me. Kudos to those that are able to do it, whether willingly or out of necessity! I want the ability to wear and let go when I want.

 

 

 

“Well just do that then, ya dingus!”

 

 

 

I tried to wear and relax for about a week once when my OAB started getting really bad, and it took a few days for me to really get my bladder under control again. I got used to dribbling pee out, and when I tried to go out of diapers, I was going pee maybe every 45 minutes for a few days after (at least that is what it seemed like). It was a hassle. I didn’t mind it while I was diapered because I wasn’t stressed about running to the bathroom. I actually had a lot of peace of mind during that week. But I feel like if I got into a habit of doing that when I had the time to, I wouldn’t be incontinent, but I wouldn’t be able to stay away from a bathroom for long during the times where diapers aren’t an option in my book. I’d need to wear diapers in a sense, but would probably be able to make do with something smaller when I am doing something a diaper wouldn’t be good for.  

 

 

 

Another factor is my relationship. I live with my girlfriend, who is very supportive and understanding, but this isn’t her thing. She is nice enough to let me wear on “bad bladder days” and occasionally lets me dress up and do little stuff, long as she isn’t always involved. I am very grateful for this. She had also been super supportive and understanding on why I wear Depends when I leave the house. She’s great overall, and I am very fortunate to have her.

 

 

 

We have talked a few times about the idea of me going into diapers 24/7 (because the key to a healthy relationship is communication!) but she isn’t keen on the idea. She understands the Depends when I leave, or wearing thick diapers at home when my bladder is acting up, but since she knows I can usually get to the bathroom at home she doesn’t want diapers to be an all day, every day thing. I totally get it, and I don’t thin I want it to be 24/7, either for the reasons I listed above.  But I feel selfish for sometimes wanting more so I’m not uncomfortable in regards to my OAB.

 

 

 

All I know is that I want to not have to worry or stress about my OAB anymore. Does this mean wearing more? Maybe 24/7? Or does it mean getting to a point where I feel like I don’t NEED diapers and I only wear when I’m feeling little?

 

 

 

So yeah. I’m not entirely sure what kind of route I want to go down with my diapered life. I am interest to hear what your experiences have shown. Is 24/7 something that would be better in the long run for dealing with OAB? Is there some other middle ground that isn’t 24/7 any of you have found that has helped ease your hassles with your OAB? Should I focus on doing more Kegels to try and just make it better overall (I feel like Kegels make it harder to hold pee after doing them, though, which is why I avoid it most of the time)? What has helped you most?

 

 

 

Sorry for the wall of text! I hope you all have a great day and I appreciate you reading this far and for any insights you may have!

 

 

 

I had similar issues after a slip and fall, the doctors couldn't find anything wrong that was directly leading to the OAB/urge. I strugled with it for quite some time before I decided to go 24/7. this made everything in life much easier, no more worrying where the nearest bathroom was or weather I was going to make it in time. I started with pullups then proceeded into diapers, at first I was conserned others would notice but no-one has ever mentioned a word.

 

if you choose to go down this road keep in mind that you should also get some washable diaper covers. they help prevent those pesky litle leaks

[Rob110]

 Unfortunately Incontinence issues can happen at any age, when out and about I would recommend you try a premium taped diaper like Betterdry  or other premium diapers that you can trust.  Thicker diapers are less noticeable then wet pants and you will be way less stressed when you don't have to worry your diaper will leak due to being low capacity diaper like depends.

Phantom pee feelings subside over time, I went through them years ago when my OaB first started to act up i think it took a year for it to settle down but even now I get the occasional phantom pee feelings. 

 Knowing you are protected and you dont have to race to the bathroom and not make it when out and about is worth wearing a premium diaper, I gave up trying to make it to the bathroom years ago as it was more not making it then making it in time. I simply use my diaper to pee on the occasion I actually feel the need most times my bladder simply releases.  

 

 Depending on your situation Ie number of times you need to pee and your hold time between felling the need to actually peeing you may decide to simply use your diaper as its less stressful and less embarrassing when you dont make it. 

 

 

 

 

[TGalactic2012]

On 9/16/2020 at 8:18 AM, PrincessPaci said:

Hey all!

 

 

 

First off, sorry I don’t post too much. I thought I would be more active on this site, but after work is over, I like to get away from screens.

 

 

 

Second off, I’m not entirely sure if this post belongs here, or if it should be moved.  

 

 

 

Okay, now that all that is out of the way…

 

 

 

I am confused on what I want with my diapered life. For some background, I have always loved diapers. It wasn’t until I was a little older that I liked dressing up in cute girly clothes, but the diapers have been a consistent desire in my life for as long as I can remember.

 

 

 

When I was a teenager, I started having bladder spasms and I would also have to go to the bathroom between every class in high school, but since it didn’t cause an issue, I never paid much attention to it. Once I got a job, I went to the doctor because I realized it isn’t normal to have to pee every hour or two. I got diagnosed with overactive bladder. I also had a few tests done to rule out anything else, but I was good. Just overactive bladder (OAB).

 

 

 

My symptoms for OAB are either:

 

•          I get a feeling that I have to pee instantly and I am at a breaking point almost every 15-30 minutes. I will then have a full-on normal pee and it’ll be crystal clear. This is a little less often, but still annoying when it happens.

   

•          I feel like I have to pee very badly, rush to the bathroom, just have a few dribbles and I’m good.

   

•          I feel a spasm that makes me feel like I should pee. It isn’t painful, but it is…weird.

   

•          I have horrible anxiety about my health, so please do not give me any ideas on what to worry about regarding my symptoms. I have recently been to my doctor, my bloodwork came back fine (include my kidney function) and everything else appears to be in good working order. Thank you!

   

 

 

That being said, my OAB gives me a lot of anxiety because I can never tell if I had to pee a lot, or if it is a “ghost pee.” My anxiety also makes all my OAB symptoms worse haha.

 

 

 

At the time I got diagnosed with OAB, diapers 24/7 was not an option for me because I was young and full of pride, even though I was in to diapers. I tried some different medicines, but they made it so it was almost impossible to pee, which was a very scary feeling. I ended up just having to change my habits (watch what I drink, when I drink it, Kegel workouts, and always go to the bathroom at any chance I had). Also, I would like to point out that my OAB symptoms are not constant. They come and go. Some days I will have a normal working bladder, others I will be in the bathroom peeing way too often.

 

 

 

A few years later, I got diagnosed with IBS. Once I got that diagnosis, I decided to swallow my pride and try Depends just to give me some piece of mind. This gave me much more security and I ended up just wearing Depends any time I left the house, even when my IBS wasn’t acting up. I kept wearing because it eased my anxiety when it came to my OAB. I have worn Depends any time I leave the house for about three years now. While I still always try and hold my bladder when I wear Depends (because they are Depends after all), I see them as a “you got a few more seconds” buffer, which eases my mind a bit and is better than having no protection. That is great, but I feel like I want more security in general.

 

 

 

I also want more security at home. Just yesterday I had an accident in a Zoom meeting. I wasn’t wearing a diaper or any padding, but ended up having to change into a diaper after that to be safe. I am sick of rushing to the bathroom when trying to play games, or in the middle of eating, before I do a task that should take just a few minutes, or doing the potty dance while trying to finish a work project. Sometimes I just want to be able to relax my bladder and let it empty whenever.

 

 

 

So sounds pretty cut and dry, right? Just give up control and start wearing all the time. Well, it isn’t. I’ll admit, I have thought about the idea of being incontinent as a sexual fantasy before, but any time I thought about the practicality of it I go, “No thank you. That seems hard.” I am typically a pretty active person and I can’t see wearing anything beyond a Depend on 20-30 mile bike rides, at the beach, on a rough hike, jogging, and so on. Also just wearing Depends only when I go out for the last 3 years has kind of put me off of HAVING to wear something even more time consuming/noticeable when I do anything. I know people can do it, but it sounds miserable to me. Kudos to those that are able to do it, whether willingly or out of necessity! I want the ability to wear and let go when I want.

 

 

 

“Well just do that then, ya dingus!”

 

 

 

I tried to wear and relax for about a week once when my OAB started getting really bad, and it took a few days for me to really get my bladder under control again. I got used to dribbling pee out, and when I tried to go out of diapers, I was going pee maybe every 45 minutes for a few days after (at least that is what it seemed like). It was a hassle. I didn’t mind it while I was diapered because I wasn’t stressed about running to the bathroom. I actually had a lot of peace of mind during that week. But I feel like if I got into a habit of doing that when I had the time to, I wouldn’t be incontinent, but I wouldn’t be able to stay away from a bathroom for long during the times where diapers aren’t an option in my book. I’d need to wear diapers in a sense, but would probably be able to make do with something smaller when I am doing something a diaper wouldn’t be good for.  

 

 

 

Another factor is my relationship. I live with my girlfriend, who is very supportive and understanding, but this isn’t her thing. She is nice enough to let me wear on “bad bladder days” and occasionally lets me dress up and do little stuff, long as she isn’t always involved. I am very grateful for this. She had also been super supportive and understanding on why I wear Depends when I leave the house. She’s great overall, and I am very fortunate to have her.

 

 

 

We have talked a few times about the idea of me going into diapers 24/7 (because the key to a healthy relationship is communication!) but she isn’t keen on the idea. She understands the Depends when I leave, or wearing thick diapers at home when my bladder is acting up, but since she knows I can usually get to the bathroom at home she doesn’t want diapers to be an all day, every day thing. I totally get it, and I don’t thin I want it to be 24/7, either for the reasons I listed above.  But I feel selfish for sometimes wanting more so I’m not uncomfortable in regards to my OAB.

 

 

 

All I know is that I want to not have to worry or stress about my OAB anymore. Does this mean wearing more? Maybe 24/7? Or does it mean getting to a point where I feel like I don’t NEED diapers and I only wear when I’m feeling little?

 

 

 

So yeah. I’m not entirely sure what kind of route I want to go down with my diapered life. I am interest to hear what your experiences have shown. Is 24/7 something that would be better in the long run for dealing with OAB? Is there some other middle ground that isn’t 24/7 any of you have found that has helped ease your hassles with your OAB? Should I focus on doing more Kegels to try and just make it better overall (I feel like Kegels make it harder to hold pee after doing them, though, which is why I avoid it most of the time)? What has helped you most?

 

 

 

Sorry for the wall of text! I hope you all have a great day and I appreciate you reading this far and for any insights you may have!

 

 

 

I deal with everything you do your post mirrors my situation 

[Wet Tony]

I developed OAB due to a prostate condition I ignored for too long. (Not cancer, thank goodness!) I went through the typical grieving phases of denial and bargaining. (if I go before I leave and again as soon as I get there I’ll be ok; it will be a short meeting; I haven’t had that much to drink so I’ll be fine; the urologist says this *should* be temporary) I had a few too many pants-wetting experiences to pretend the problem wasn’t real. I relied for too long on pull-ups that were simply inadquate for more than one medium bladder release. Deciding to wear a good diaper whenever I leave the house has meant I can just get on with my life without worry or needing to constantly pay attention to my bladder.