dprfam Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 Any critique on this story? I've not posted a story before Tricked by My Sister The family: Sally(Salty) - I’m 9. Katie - My sister, she’s 16. Cassie - My Aunt. She works as a nurse, and helps babysit. Allyson - My Mom. Introduction: I guess things haven’t been normal for a long time. Bedwetting and bladder issues runs in our family. Mom tried to avoid the topic, but aunt Cassie didn’t deny it either. My older sister Katie, who is now sixteen became older and more mature, she helped babysit me. Mom was irritated that I didn’t want to wear diapers, and often fussed about it. My sister Katie made it seemed like she didn’t like changing my diaper, but mom wanted her to help babysit me anyway. Sometimes mom wanted me back in diapers “Because” for reasons I didn’t quite understand. Mom kept telling me it wasn’t a punishment. For the first time, mom went on a business trip, with my sister “in charge”, now she is 16 and trustworthy. My aunt was around to check on us and help out, but she worked as a nurse, for a medical clinic. Little did I know how things would change for me. Getting ready: Aunt Cassie brought over some food for while we were gone. My sister drinks a lot of Gatorade, and seems to always read the label on food and drink. She likes to stay active, and is glad she doesn’t wear pullups to school much. Mom asked if we had plans for the almost two weeks she will be away. My sister says she’ll be studying, but didn’t say which subject. Mom didn’t seem surprised. Cassie mentioned that I had a doctors appointment this week, for a “checkup”, which made me worry about what the doctor needed to check. I’ve been to doctors and hospitals enough, and things happen unexpectedly, and sometimes hurts and I cry like a baby. I wet my pullup a lot just thinking about it. Mom handed Katie a wallet of gift cards, for CVS, Grubhub, and a few other places. We had plenty of frozen food, but could also order food delivered. Cassie handed a folder with some papers, that mom put together for while she was away. “Mom, did you schedule our daily activities in advance?”, she asked. “I don’t want you two sitting around watching Netflix all day”, mom replied. Cassie also brought over a box of diapers and other supplies, supposedly for her neighbors, but I knew it was meant for me. I had started to cry, and Cassie picked me up, and tried to comfort me, as my sister walked with mom, bags in hand. “You sure are a little girl, aren’t you?” Cassie said quietly. She checked that my pullup was now soaked. A few minutes later, Cassie had me back in my room, removed my pullup, cleaned me and put a diaper on me. My sister came in, a little surprised I hadn’t thrown a tantrum. I really don’t like getting put in diapers during the day, or getting changed. Link to comment
Personalias Posted September 7, 2020 Share Posted September 7, 2020 Okay. Because you specifically asked: Outside of a play what was the last non-internet story you read that started with a full list of the cast of characters? It doesn't read as organic at all and doesn't flow, nor does it present information in a particularly interesting way. Link to comment
dprfam Posted September 7, 2020 Author Share Posted September 7, 2020 Good point. Thanks for the feedback. Link to comment
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