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To push or not to push


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Hi Everyone.. Just wondering everyone's opinion. When first training to become incontinent is it okay to bear down and perform a vasalva maneuver when first trying to get comfortable with the new position to release or is it best to just focus on relaxation/reverse Kegel techniques and not encourage pushing?

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Never ever help it by pushing. Do your best to let it happen in its own. Over time you will train the mind to just automatically release. What you’ll do is train the mind to not signal it anymore.

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41 minutes ago, incondl said:

Never ever help it by pushing. Do your best to let it happen in its own. Over time you will train the mind to just automatically release. What you’ll do is train the mind to not signal it anymore.

What he said.  As you finish wetting stay relaxed, as if you were still wetting.  Then try to stay that way all the time.   Relax mentally and physically, and be patient.  It takes time.  Good luck!

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I also found that it helped to try and relax and release whenever I felt there was anything in my bladder or bowels. That way I believe it increased the rate at which the bladder gradually shrinks in size.

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On 8/18/2020 at 3:27 AM, DaveeBEd said:

I also found that it helped to try and relax and release whenever I felt there was anything in my bladder or bowels. That way I believe it increased the rate at which the bladder gradually shrinks in size.

I quite agree with trying to stay relaxed at all times when it comes to your bladder/bowels. The very first moment you feel that need, go into relax mode so that things can happen naturally on their own without any pushing/forcing help whatsoever. For me personally this seems to be working as I find myself wetting more often but in lesser amounts which tells me that my bladder is shrinking and cannot hold as much. Which is just perfectly fine for me as I really wish to become completely diaper dependent for my wetting needs/desires/pleasures.:18_EmoticonsHDcom:

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I have heard it's not good to push to pee, but sometimes you just have to push just to get it started, I have a shy bladder or what ever you want to call the shy part, but when I start it,, it kind of floods my diaper, diapers just don't handle a fast rush . At least mine don't. I use disposable and can't afford the really nice ones .I really am waiting for my bladder to shrink, I have had some dribble issues for a lot of yrs. Waiting ......

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50 minutes ago, foreverdl said:

I have heard it's not good to push to pee, but sometimes you just have to push just to get it started, I have a shy bladder or what ever you want to call the shy part, but when I start it,, it kind of floods my diaper, diapers just don't handle a fast rush . At least mine don't. I use disposable and can't afford the really nice ones .I really am waiting for my bladder to shrink, I have had some dribble issues for a lot of yrs. Waiting ......

As they say, patience is a virtue.........and the wait is worth it:thumbsup:

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4 hours ago, SrDiapCaged said:

As they say, patience is a virtue.........and the wait is worth it:thumbsup:

Yes try true,  I have found that if I take a deep breath hold it for a few seconds, then release I will pee, sometimes. Then I don't have to push. But I am a little impatient ?

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I'm very adapt at just dribbling and gushing without pushing and keeping my sphincter open without clenching. I get a near content feeling of an urge to pee. When I pee it's a little dribble and urge doesn't go away. Its taken many years of binges/purge to get to this point.

What happens if I keep this up for until 1st Jan 2021? Thats the goal I've set.

 

 

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Good luck with your goal. Its 2 years for me now. It is important not to push as that means you still have control. Relax as much as possible especially at the first sign of an urge then you never flood the diaper and the wettings get smaller and more regular.

9 hours ago, foreverdl said:

I have heard it's not good to push to pee, but sometimes you just have to push just to get it started, I have a shy bladder or what ever you want to call the shy part, but when I start it,, it kind of floods my diaper, diapers just don't handle a fast rush . At least mine don't. I use disposable and can't afford the really nice ones .I really am waiting for my bladder to shrink, I have had some dribble issues for a lot of yrs. Waiting ......

Do try not to push and you have to try to get over your shyness. I used to look at my face in a mirror as I was peeing to check if I could see any change in my facial expression. This took a while until I was totally relaxed and it was imperceptible. A real hurdle was crossed after about three months when I could stand next to someone I knew well and carry on a normal conversation whilst wetting my diaper and them being unaware of it. Once you can do that then your shy bladder will no longer be something you have to fight against. 

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40 minutes ago, DaveeBEd said:

A real hurdle was crossed after about three months when I could stand next to someone I knew well and carry on a normal conversation whilst wetting my diaper and them being unaware of it.

I forget what progress I've made over the years. I am able to wet anywhere.. Walking, chatting to people., etc I think I already have a weakened pubococcygeus muscle as I have post void dribbling, find it hard to get erections, small penis, weak urine steam. I'm also getting overactive bladder as have a content urge to pee.

I just wish I could brake the binge/purge cycle.

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1 hour ago, DaveeBEd said:

 

Do try not to push and you have to try to get over your shyness. I used to look at my face in a mirror as I was peeing to check if I could see any change in my facial expression. This took a while until I was totally relaxed and it was imperceptible. A real hurdle was crossed after about three months when I could stand next to someone I knew well and carry on a normal conversation whilst wetting my diaper and them being unaware of it. Once you can do that then your shy bladder will no longer be something you have to fight against. 

Thanks, that's a good idea, using the mirror, I need to try it. I do have a shy bladder, and I think people could probably tell I'm peeing if they see my face. I just need to find out how to just relax. I'm guessing I'm afraid I will leak out of my diaper if in public. I used to be able to pee sitting, and lately I pee like flooding when I stand up, Any ideas? 

Three months I am impressed with your progress. I want what you've got?

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We've all leaked out of our diapers at some stage, its just a hazard of doing what we feel drawn to do. It just will happen, always remember to never go anywhere without a bag containing all you need to change. The only time I leak out of my diaper now is if I'm just been too lazy to change and the diaper has got saturated, however I can usually tell by the increased weight long before that happens. Once you become used to letting it flow whenever you feel the slightest urge you won't flood anymore as it will be regular small amounts. Now I have an almost constant drip or at most a dribble as practically all control has been lost and I imagine my bladder has shrunk to at most a quarter of its former size.

Good Luck and stick with it.

5 hours ago, username said:

I forget what progress I've made over the years. I am able to wet anywhere.. Walking, chatting to people., etc I think I already have a weakened pubococcygeus muscle as I have post void dribbling, find it hard to get erections, small penis, weak urine steam. I'm also getting overactive bladder as have a content urge to pee.

I just wish I could brake the binge/purge cycle.

I made at least three half hearted attempts at becoming IC resulting in my purging all my stuff and having that feeling of self loathing. This is my fourth serious attempt and after two years I think it would finally be impossible to regain control even if I wanted to. I have almost constant dribbling and my penis has shrunk considerably. I have hastened that by using a cock cage for the last 6 months or so, gradually increasing the time I wear it. Its now extremely hard for me to get and certainly maintain an erection. But I crave humiliation, I believe that's why I started this. I initially felt that having to wear a diaper was the most humiliating thing I could think of and hen I decided to take that a stage further by becoming impotent as well. I'm not quite there but should be soon!

Keep with it and over time you will be able to take this however far you'd like to.

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If I had of been consistent right from the beginning a couple of years ago, I probably would be at the stage of frequent wettings in small amounts without fear of flooding my diaper out in public. However, like a lot of us, there was the on/off binging which naturally throws off your diaper dependency training. I finally gave myself a stern lecture early spring this year and I am happy with the slowly emerging results of more wetting in slightly lesser amounts and have even managed a number of totally relaxed wettings while out at a food court. I am hoping for more improvement in the frequency of wettings of lesser amounts and my goal by summer of next year is constant dribbling or dripping with no more fear of flooding my diaper/pullup:18_EmoticonsHDcom:

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Wearing 24/7 for about 18 months has resulted in the strange requirement to pay attention to not paying attention, if that makes any sense. Most of the time now, I'm just relaxed down there, and I dribble a bit about every 10 - 20 minutes. I can do this anywhere, doing anything - walking, driving, at the dentist, lying in bed, while playing golf, etc. I find it doesn't happen during heavy exertion, however - running or a hard bike ride. When I'm sweating, my fluid output seems to be mostly sweat. 

However when I get distracted, usually by an in-depth work project, I'll forget to stay relaxed, and then find myself with a strong urge after half an hour or 45 minutes, which also makes leaks more likely, because diapers like a constant dribble far more than they like infrequent deluges. I know that I still have control over everything, but I do find myself going without feeling anything once in a while - some other tactile feedback alerts me to it, maybe noticing a trickle or the swelling of the diaper. I could still stop myself if I had to, but that's pretty rare, and I have noticed that when I issue the "stop" command, sometimes the response is not immediate. I don't expressly desire becoming IC, I just wouldn't mind if I could hang up control and pull it back out when I need it, which, to be honest, is infrequently these days, since I've found a diaper I can wear on long runs, and to the gym. Although, again, when I run or work out hard at the gym, I barely wet anyway. But it feels good not to need underwear for anything. My diminishing collection of boxer shorts has been in a bag on the ceiling of my garage, behind my winter tires, for a few weeks now. Prior to that, I had them stored in my basement gym, with my running shoes, since I only used them when I ran. I have a vague plan that when I pull those tires down in the fall, if I haven't needed to extract any underwear up to that point, then I'll just toss them. 

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12 hours ago, foreverdl said:

Yes try true,  I have found that if I take a deep breath hold it for a few seconds, then release I will pee, sometimes. Then I don't have to push. But I am a little impatient ?

It can be difficult to break the "impatient" mode because I can still get that way during my non-pee-potty training. There are still many times that I have to give myself that all important "mental slap" to the head to remind me?:19_EmoticonsHDcom:?

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13 minutes ago, SrDiapCaged said:

It can be difficult to break the "impatient" mode because I can still get that way during my non-pee-potty training. There are still many times that I have to give myself that all important "mental slap" to the head to remind me?:19_EmoticonsHDcom:?

Yeah that's what I need to do and maybe more than a mental slap if I'm alone :bash:

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