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Making Friends Here


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I'm taking this off the Turtlepins posts because I'm talking about me, not him.

Since defending the aforementioned poster, I've taken what I'm not going to call flaming, because it was polite. I'm new to this board, but not new the the web, and believe me I *know* flaming when I see it. I have no problem with simply being disagreed with.

I do have a concern, though, as it reflects on me. Someone (can't recall specifically who, or the exact wording) had responded to a "Turtlepins Mommy" post with an issue of too many posts in a short period of time. It apparently lowered credibility and looked like board spamming. I've put in over 70 in two weeks, because I'm enthusiastic about having found the site. Are the same concerns being felt about me?

I've been the new kid on the block so many times. A victim of a highly unstable childhood, we moved around so many times I went to 20 different schools before I finally graduated--sometimes as many as 7 schools in a single year. I was always the "new kid." Always being tested. I got so sick and tired of being new all the time, and learned to just jump right in. I had to, if I was going to interact at all. If I waited to be accepted or invited, the chance would be lost and I'd move again to another school, another town, another set of kids.

Nor was I ever very popular. Kids pounce on anything that makes you stand out. I had a funny last name, horribly bucked teeth before I finally got them straightened, and shabby Goodwill clothes. I developed physically much faster than my age-mates, so that was "different" about me too. I was intellectual but far from athletic, and my klutziness on the playground opened up the door to still more teasing. Always being new, always being from somewhere else, I had trouble fitting in, and I see the same pattern playing out here as the "new kid" on this site. I am being tested, watched to see if I will be part of the "cool crowd" or an outcast nerd.

Combine my tendency to just jump in, with not being able to stand to see an outcast, and you get the situation that developed here. Come to think of it, even as that perpetual "new kid," I often made myself even more unpopular by jumping in to defend kids that were being picked on. The friends I made were usually the other pariahs.

I try not to define myself any more as that fat, over developed, bucktoothed kid with the funny name, standing on the edge of the playground in the same clothes your great aunt Mathilda might wear, but those patterns still turn up. I have no wish to offend anyone and do not intend to "pick up my ball and bat and go home." What I want is to earn trust and make friends. I understand that this lifestyle has been infiltrated before by mockers. That's unfortunate, and I hate it as much as anyone else does, although being gullible I may be taken in by fakes.

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Your story is so much like mine to start with. Being in the forces we often moved until 11. Always the new kid... and I wasn't very popular either being the tall gangly kid who couldn't hit a bull's backside with a shovel never mind hit a ball - or catch one. Always friends with the other victims... and bullied.

Boarding school at age 11 should have seen some stability, but wearing nappies there didn't help - nor did sexual abuse at the hands of gays at age 12/13. Made things much worse and I hated school life to 18.

So to keep on topic, welcome. Give everyone time here and you will be accepted freely. There are some really, really lovely people here (and the jerks, but that's life) and I can't recommend the site more warmly. You will make good friends. I have.

Simba. B)

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It takes time to earn people's trust around here and unfortunately you got off to a less than perfect start. But as far as I am concerned, you are welcome here and I have no reason to believe you to be anything other than what you say you are. I know it can be hard to be new, but give it time. People need a while to get an idea of who you are. They will in time.

:)

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It takes time to earn people's trust around here and unfortunately you got off to a less than perfect start. But as far as I am concerned, you are welcome here and I have no reason to believe you to be anything other than what you say you are. I know it can be hard to be new, but give it time. People need a while to get an idea of who you are. They will in time.

:)

Echo Mr Sea Otter, thanks for saying what I was trying to figure out how to.

I'm glad you started this thread Baby Mommy :) let's just say our previous encounter on another thread was 'unfortunate' and leave it at that.

D :) lly

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Echo Mr Sea Otter, thanks for saying what I was trying to figure out how to.

I'm glad you started this thread Baby Mommy :) let's just say our previous encounter on another thread was 'unfortunate' and leave it at that.

D :) lly

Why does everybody have to fight, why can't we all just get along like Peanut Butter and Jelly. LOL

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Echo Mr Sea Otter, thanks for saying what I was trying to figure out how to.

I'm glad you started this thread Baby Mommy :) let's just say our previous encounter on another thread was 'unfortunate' and leave it at that.

D :) lly

I'm all for that!

Thanks, all of you, for the support. I think what got me into this mess in the first place was being so vocal about everyone deserving a clean slate. Thanks for mine.

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Why does everybody have to fight, why can't we all just get along like Peanut Butter and Jelly. LOL

The funny thing is my wife won't eat the two together, I called her un American. :roflmao:

As for the Topic, I Ditto Mr. Otter and Dolly. I for another Truely Welcome you to the site. :D

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i was picked on alot too, but now, all those ppl tremble in fear of me now, what doesn't kill u will only make u tuffer, but i like to be nice here, it's a great escape from all that stress,

u will have lots of fun here fun here, i know i do :)

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:o Sorry to hear that you had such a rocky start, I know how that goes, believe me.

This really is about the best site I've ever found for this community, and most of the people hare are really nice and supportive.

I hope that everyone here will accept you into the fold.

Vic

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OK, I feel better now. Thanks, Smokey, for the referral to the Pranks thread--it made me laugh.

Vic, it *is* the best AB site out there. That's why I'm shaping up to be such a prolific poster. I do belong to others, but I spend more time here.

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  • 10 years later...

You can go to the forum Meeting Place, click on United States and scroll down to your state.  Then you can browse people who have posted there to see not only if they are in your area of the state but how old their posts are by the date on them.  You can also post your own reply or start a new thread there in hopes others will see it and contact or reply to you.

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  • 2 months later...

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