Crazy Rant

[Hades]

So I'm going through a weird time. Not sure what I'm feeling. My wife and I have tried for years to have a second child. After our first, we suffered through two miscarriages, and those were so painful I don't know how we recovered. Four years have passed from our second miscarriage and we haven't gotten pregnant again, until yesterday.

On this momentous occasion, I should be rejoicing, and part of me is. But the other feelings are there too. Fear that we might lose another and shame that I can't help but think that losing it might be for the best (we aren't in a greatest place financially)

 

I had that same feeling the first time we got pregnant again and for as horrible as the miscarriage was, there was a very small part of me that felt a little relief. That's a horrible feeling to have.

 

If the worst happens and we lose this baby....I want to be clear too, I don't want to lose it. It's weird I guess to feel responsible for something that's not my fault, but I constantly feel like that.

 

Can't win really. I'm going to have internal conflicts no matter what. I'm bitchy that way. lol. Cross your fingers folks.

[WetDad]

My wife and I went through several miscarriages and many years of fertility guess-work before we finally had our two kids. I know your pain and apprehension. It gets better- they are both nearing the end of college and we have great relationships with them both.