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So here it goes again! The absolute love of my life has had this fetish since he himself was in diapers. I'm completely new to the scene and I need help with tips, advice, anything helps! We as a couple have just opened discussion into exploring this together. He's bought his preferred type and we've been through 3 nights of him being super comfy! I'm happy for him, now that he's comfortable with himself he's so much happier. But my dumb ass normie brain keeps getting her feeling hurt! How can I try learning about the desire for this when the community is so obscure!? 

I need a guru. I need links. I need friends who are going through this or wish to help me understand how my love feels and how to better make him comfortable. 

Also ya girl is a XXL and needs a site for cute sizable diapers to try this thing out!! 

Wish me luck, even if I get no responses airing this has kinda been therapeutic in a sense. 

Anyways, peace and love. Thank you for the time.

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@Littlealienprincess

On 6/13/2020 at 2:04 PM, Littlealienprincess said:

So here it goes again! The absolute love of my life has had this fetish since he himself was in diapers. I'm completely new to the scene and I need help with tips, advice, anything helps! We as a couple have just opened discussion into exploring this together. He's bought his preferred type and we've been through 3 nights of him being super comfy! I'm happy for him, now that he's comfortable with himself he's so much happier. But my dumb ass normie brain keeps getting her feeling hurt! How can I try learning about the desire for this when the community is so obscure!? 

I know that finding out the love of your life has a fetish can be kind of different for you, but I assure you, there are lots of us who have this fetish .  I am glad that your partner has been able to have an open discussion about his fetish, and what he likes and is able to explain it to you.  I think sometimes that is the hardest thing to do.  One, being the fact that he has a fetish, and two, that he likes diapers.  Some people may think that it is "weird" "strange" "crazy" or that they just have questions that they need to have answered.  Sometimes, the hardest thing that you will do will be to TRY to explain to your partner (you in this case) WHY they feel like they do, and what makes them feel good. 

That he is much happier, and he is more comfortable wearing is important:  You should not worry that you do NOT know too much about this: There are lots of us here, and we will try to help you the best we can - There are people who have been here a lot longer than I, and they probably can give you more advice than I can, but My advice is to continue to talk to your partner, and let HIM guide you:  He will most likely let you know more as time goes on, letting you in on things that make him feel better, things that excite him, things that he likes to do in diapers, etc.,  This is something you will take time, and you should take it slow - This is not something you learn overnight, as there are many factors that influence a fetish - so do not sweat that, it will come in time.

I think its a GOOD IDEA that you are willing to try things out.  You may find that you like diapers, or you might find that you don't.  You may find that he likes certain aspects, and dislikes others.  The important thing is that you are open, honest and upfront with each other, and that you keep the lines of communication  open.  If you can work together, you will be able to figure out what makes him "tick" and then you will be able to make the experience better for him, and you also will be able to find out how you feel about the fetish, and whether you like certain aspects, while disliking others.  The important thing is that wearing diapers and having this fetish is more common than you might think, so you  are NOT the first person to find that a partner has a fetish, and you will not be the last, so don't be scared: just take it slow, and if you have any doubts, ask him questions as well!

On 6/13/2020 at 2:04 PM, Littlealienprincess said:

But my dumb ass normie brain keeps getting her feeling hurt! How can I try learning about the desire for this when the community is so obscure!? 

Your "dumb ass normie brain" is trying to process information that your partner has told you, and you may be scared, unsure, worried, or thinking "how do I learn about what I don't understand?"  One of the things that I learned is that if you have a fetish, you most likely have had the tendencies for a LONG while. They might be suppressed, but they are still there.  The one piece of additional advice I can give you is to check out https://abdiscovery.com.au/  This site is owned by member @rosalie.bent and her husband Michael.  They have written BOOKS that can help you to understand the fetish better.  They even have a book called "A Woman's Guide to Babying her Partner" which is found at:  https://abdiscovery.com.au/a-womans-guide-to-babying-her-partner/  I can tell you from my own experience that I was thinking I was "strange" "weird" "different" and other words that describe the feelings as I tried to figure out WHY I like diapers:  I use them for incontinence, but I think I also have tendencies towards being a DL (Diaper Lover) - I found that it is NOT a bad thing to have the feelings/emotions/ URGES that I was  experiencing - and that yes, it is OK to wear, Use, Enjoy and play in diapers.  Sometimes I will "play" myself, or explore my feelings, and let them happen - Try to relax and have FUN - I have friends that wear for convenience, Fun, Comfort, and for incontinence.  Each of these types of situations is unique - but rest assured, this is NOT something that is "bad" or "yucky" "crazy" or anything like that.  @rosalie.bent and Michael's site has a LOT of information, and I have found their books very informative, and I guarantee that you will be able to find loads of information about this fetish, and who knows, you may have rosalie respond here herself ;)

So, that's what I have:  There are other sites too, but the one I referenced above should give you a LOT of information, and a Good Start! :)

On 6/13/2020 at 2:04 PM, Littlealienprincess said:

 I need a guru. I need links. I need friends who are going through this or wish to help me understand how my love feels and how to better make him comfortable. 

Also ya girl is a XXL and needs a site for cute sizable diapers to try this thing out!! 

Wish me luck, even if I get no responses airing this has kinda been therapeutic in a sense

As far as the Guru's, there are many here:  Hopefully, they will also be able to give you more advice, and will share their experiences with you.  I am not really sure where you can get XXL Diapers, but I am sure that they are available somewhere.  I am sure that someone will respond, but it may take a little time.  I always thought that my love of diapers was a "fluke" or "odd" but I found out that I must have been "hard wired" to like them.  guys like @DailyDi @Elfy @rusty pins are people who have unique experiences, so I consider them "gurus" and can give you some insight as well!

I wish you the best of luck, and if you need anything else, feel free to post back here.  You can also shoot me a Personal Message!

Good Luck!

Brian

Edited by ~Brian~
added additional information
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On 6/14/2020 at 3:34 AM, Littlealienprincess said:

So here it goes again! The absolute love of my life has had this fetish since he himself was in diapers. I'm completely new to the scene and I need help with tips, advice, anything helps! We as a couple have just opened discussion into exploring this together. He's bought his preferred type and we've been through 3 nights of him being super comfy! I'm happy for him, now that he's comfortable with himself he's so much happier. But my dumb ass normie brain keeps getting her feeling hurt! How can I try learning about the desire for this when the community is so obscure!? 

I need a guru. I need links. I need friends who are going through this or wish to help me understand how my love feels and how to better make him comfortable. 

Also ya girl is a XXL and needs a site for cute sizable diapers to try this thing out!! 

Wish me luck, even if I get no responses airing this has kinda been therapeutic in a sense. 

Anyways, peace and love. Thank you for the time.

4a4aa83c-06d4-4763-bb0b-72b987ddf4d9.gif

You sound like you are not stressing about it but simply seeking info on how to enjoy it more r simple to understand it more. I get that and it is refreshing not to hear a woman threatening divorce or worse because their husband/partner wear diapers. As pointed out, there are a lot of books on our site www.abdiscovery.com.au that may help from guides on how to enjoy it more as well as quite a number of books exploring the psychology of regression and adult babies. Don't be afraid of being a normie as I am the same. Just always remember that normal is what you are and others or not. In the end, it is just a diaper and not the massive grief that some attach to it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Bravo to you for at least attempting to understand it and even willing to try them. Caution to you would be find something comfortable. You could be turned off by wearing diapers if they don’t fit properly so it could very well require many different samples. Once you find something that is comfortable then wear that type for a week or two. You’ll be able to gauge if it’s something for you or not but at least you’ll have a better understanding. 

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@Littlealienprincess If you're looking to try diapers for yourself, you might want to consider Northshore.com, as they have a wide selection and also offer free samples.  Also ABDL specific companies such as ABUniverse.com, Bambinodiapers.com, and Rearz.ca, have more cute themed diapers if that's what you're looking for. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 6/13/2020 at 11:04 AM, Littlealienprincess said:

So here it goes again! The absolute love of my life has had this fetish since he himself was in diapers. I'm completely new to the scene and I need help with tips, advice, anything helps! We as a couple have just opened discussion into exploring this together. He's bought his preferred type and we've been through 3 nights of him being super comfy! I'm happy for him, now that he's comfortable with himself he's so much happier. But my dumb ass normie brain keeps getting her feeling hurt! How can I try learning about the desire for this when the community is so obscure!? 

I need a guru. I need links. I need friends who are going through this or wish to help me understand how my love feels and how to better make him comfortable. 

Also ya girl is a XXL and needs a site for cute sizable diapers to try this thing out!! 

Wish me luck, even if I get no responses airing this has kinda been therapeutic in a sense. 

Anyways, peace and love. Thank you for the time.

4a4aa83c-06d4-4763-bb0b-72b987ddf4d9.gif

am going to have to agree with the posts here, I was one of the ones that thought ? I could get over it, LOL. DL is not something that we just get over. We have been married 25 yrs. I figured out after about 15 yrs into our marriage IT won't go away. I was hiding my diapers from her. I did everything wrong I was an emotional mess when my wife was going through cancer, ( after loosing my first wife to heart issues) I was going through another major life threatening issue with now my second wife . I ended up telling my wife that I had been hiding my diaper fetish from her, after I had learned I wasn't able to handle  stress among other things without my major stress relief. Its been around 10 yrs since I told her, and we both have gone through cancer, she doesn't understand a lot that I have on tried to explain to her, its really hard to explain something like this, to someone who you Love. I  never really understood it myself . 

We have made it with Understanding the best we can from both of us.  I waited way too long to tell her. I like most of us thought she wouldn't have anything to do with me because I'm a weird O. It was kind of like I was cheating on my wife, and the longer we were married the harder it got to tell her I was hiding this part of me I was a sicko to the real world if they new I was addicted to diapers etc. 

She is more able to handle it now , I do need diapers for dribbles now, but it still goes slowly, I don't force any information on her, I answer questions she has,,, the best I can. I try my best to keep that stuff in a spare bedroom . I know I could have handled the whole diaper thing better by discussing it years ago. At least giving her a heads up that it could be an issue that I was dealing with? Hind site is 2020 as they say. She knows I have this site I am on almost every day. I did let her know there's a place that spouse's ask questions, but she is not there yet, and may never get to a place that she can discuss it with others. 

All this to really say Glad you are both working it out in the beginning of your relationship,,,,, Patience is needed on both sides. 

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  • 7 months later...

@Littlealienprincess Being a female and a Diaper Lover over 43 years, I still empathize all that is going through your mind. I started fighting my demons at 13 years old it was 1978 and I was all alone and no one to really tell or explain to. I couldnt tell my parents, because I knew what that meant. If I was lucky maybe the next 10 years in therapy or being locked away in an institution until the age of 18 and not knowing what kind of psychoactive substances or mind altering drugs I would have been subject to. I accepted myself and kept my secret to myself. I enjoyed pooping diapers and it was for very personal and sexual feelings. Many people here will understand and know what kind of pain this is. You cant tell your parents, you cant tell relatives, you cant tell friends, you cant tell your teachers or counselors, hell most here cant or wont even tell their spouses or loved ones, these are people that are closest to him. 

You say it yourself in your opening sentence "The absolute love of my life has had this fetish since he himself was in diapers" You love this man with your heart and I am sure he loves you enough to tell you how diapers make him feel. He opened up to you, he told you a secret about himself that truly says it all in one word TRUST .. The 3 major factors of any relationship are trust, communications, and love. Without any of these a relationship is doomed. You say you are happy for him "But my dumb ass normie brain keeps getting her feelings hurt! How can I try learning about the desire for this when the community is so obscure!? Yes the shroud, the cloak, the screen with which we hide behind is what keeps us safe in our own world. Hence the ABDL World. Dont let him go through this alone. Alone and in the shadows is a horrible place to be. I know because I lived it for 25 years. I was married to a man that despised diapers but had a love for me so profound and extreme that we made it work. Even though I wasnt able to share my love of diapers with him, I enjoyed my diaper time alone and when he shipped out on tour. Believe me its not easy for me to spill my guts like this, but if it will help just one person open their eyes then I have done my good deed. 

Sites for diapers for XXL women are a dime a dozen and I am sure you will find hundreds. You say "help me understand how my love feels and how to better make him comfortable". He feels alone, abandoned, rejected, foresaken, deserted, shunned, forgotten, outcast, do you get my meaning, and all this, only for loving diapers ? For many the "normie brain" as you say has to expand amd broaden its horizons. Believe me once you put those demons to rest, and clear your mind of how the internet portrays the ABDL Community you will see how a harmless piece of plastic with padding brings so much relief, comfort, solace, relaxation and sustenance to his well being. I am so happy at least you are open and asking for help, and people to chat with and yes it is very therapeutic to let it out and not feel stifled or suffocated. There are so many here that are still in the closet about diapers. 

So many  "normie brain"  people ask the question "why diapers" ? Ask a mountain climber why he wants to climb a mountain.. He will tell you "because it is there" . One of my biggest idols in history and I thank my father for taking me to a few of his stunts was" Evel Knievel"  Ask him what drove him to risk his life and batter his body, and he gave one simple answer "Without the death defying thrill of jumping, life was boring" A very simple man with a very simple answer. I wear diapers very simply because I enjoy them, and they make me feel comfortable, and I never have to go in search of a bathroom. Others wear them because it regresses them to when times were good, life was simple, No worries or cares in the world. We are simple people, and all we want is dignity and to be loved and treated as human beings, nothing more, mothing less. I really hope and pray that this puts your mind a little at ease. Drop me a message anytime sweetie and I will be more than happy to chat with you. 

In your own words Peace and Love,,, and thats what its all about.

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