What to do?

[Covertlil]

So to start this is my first time posting...anywhere. I am a DL that doesn't know what to do. I have a fiance that knows I wear but has no interest in participation. I have a therapist that says as long as it doesn't hurt my life and I don't feel like stopping unfortunately he is not sure what to do. (Please don't down talk him, hes a good guy just not his area of study). I also have 2 roommates that as far as I know are unaware that I am a DL. I also have a couple  friends that know but I feel as though is just an odd bit of personal information I handed to them that they are not sure what to do with.

So the problem is,  I have no one to relate to in person about this and am scared to reach out bc of being more scared that if me wearing came out into the open it would ruin everything I have worked towards. ie. relationships, career, family, friendships, and appearance. Also I don't know if finding a person to relate to will help this empty feeling. (Context. I like to wear but I feel like I'm missing something)

So ultimately what I'm asking is, would it be worth it to find a fellow DL in person to talk to and how to go about doing so? ( safely and quietly) To add I'm a 30ish Male in the norcal area. And if I do find someone what to expect?

Thank you in advance for all the help and I hope this post helps more than just me who may be going though the same predic

[incondl]

Wearing is a personal choice. It sounds like you have that need that so many others have. Let me assure you that there is nothing wrong with it even though the masses don’t. But you also need to know that there are many that feel the same way as you. And it’s perfectly fine. Finding someone else outside of a board like this may be a little tough because of how personal it is. You cannot live life in constant fear of others finding out. That’s not healthy. Read & contribute up & down this board & you’ll get the help you seek in accepting your need to wear. We all have our personal stories just like you have yours. Feel free to PM me should you like.

[Brudda Voodu]

I understand the conflict you feel within yourself.  I understand the lonely feelings associated with this.  I understand how difficult it can be to have sane and rational discussions with people who share these compulsions.  Most of us appear to suffer with emotional burdens.

My advice is to continue discussing this with your Dr.  Dont expect your Dr to tell you how to "fix" yourself step by step.  As you talk outloud to your Dr and he provides you feedback, you will begin to discover what you need to do to make forward movement in your life.  It is far from easy and far from fast.  Have patience and keep at it.

The only advice I can give about your girl friend is have open and honest discussions regularly. Do your best to think how it feels to be in her shoes. Try to have empathy and understanding for her perspective and try to commincate to her in a way that she can have empathy and understanding for you.  

Go slow. Patience and understanding go a long way.

[Kaliborio]

(Please don't down talk him, he's a good guy just not his area of study)

Tell me about it. I'm autistic, have ADHD, and am currently being assessed for general anxiety disorder and complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Finding a therapist who even agrees with all my other therapists, let alone can actually competently handle more than one of those in combination, is a pain in the bum. (And they're not even that uncommon!)

For the record, I've been in diapers continuously since 2013 and have been near-completely incontinent since 2016. I've had as many relationships as I've wanted to have; my career is going fine; my family doesn't hate me any more than they already did; my friends don't give a shit; and I look the same.

I would recommend seeing if there's a local AB/DL group on FetLife. Given that you're in Nor Cal, I'd imagine there is; I'm in Queensland (Australia's Texas) and there's still more than one AB/DL group in my city. In California - which has nearly the same population as Australia - it shouldn't be a problem. I found a partner and several genuine friends that way.