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what does a AB have to do to find a dominant female


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Teach one to be, I’ve been with my mommy for 7 years and she wasn’t the assertive type. I was her first baby so that didn’t help either, granted that allows someone to learn via your standards. She wanted to be a mommy and that’s what matters, so over time she’s picked up what to do and now I’m in diapers 24/6 (I wear goodnites at work/college) due to her. 
 

you’re better off finding someone your compatible with and accepts you for you. Overtime her love will grow and she will want to indulge this more because of their love for you. Got to remember they are a woman first and mommy second.

 

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Go out into the wide world with a fresh haircut and clean clothes. Brush your teeth and shave your face.  Use your manners and learn how to tell some jokes.  Get your own residence and secure your finances.  Then look for a nice girl to take on a date.  Stay off of the internet and look for love in the real world. 

Looking for a dominating "Mommy" first and a girlfriend second is your downfall. 

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I know things are different in America, but I don't really know anybody that has such a tough time in Canada. :(
All of my ABDL friends eventually found their mommies and daddies.

I found my babyslave at one of my shows. He was so drunk that he didn't remember that I had been onstage, or that he had given me his number...

Go out to the kink and BDSM events, and represent yourself, exactly as you are, so that those who are interested, can see you. If you don't show the product, no one will buy it.

 

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In my town (Ottawa), there used to be occasional (monthly) ABDL munches organised by a man/baby in Gatineau, but I think he is too busy to work on it anymore.

In Ottawa, both Wicked Wanda's and The Alternative are good places to go, to begin exploring the local kink, fetish, BDSM, and ABDL worlds.

I am sure that there are events and meetups being organized for most places in Europe, Asia, and North America, on Fetlife, Collarspace, and maybe Alt.com. Get yourself out on as many social media sites (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Tumblr, LinkedIn) as you can, (with a decent photo-shoot, that makes your particular kink look good to anyone looking at it), and complete bio's and write ups that show off who you are, your accomplishments, and anything that might get a Domme's interest. 

Us women are almost the same as you. We are all just as sexual and perverted (or lying). Most woman that I know have some tendency to be (none ABDL) "Littles" , and respond well to "daddy's" (and get wet by being spanked). This means that they actually get you, on some level, and just pretend that they don't.

Oh-ya.
As an actual, living DommyMommy:
Ignore shit about haircuts. What got me interested enough to pursue and win my BabySlave (other than his Master's in Anthropology - nothing is better than a real university education) was his 5+ feet of dreadlocks.

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There is a Dommy Mommy out there for you I promise you that.  For years I have shared my stories and experiences on this message board concerning my wife and our relationship.  There have been ups and downs and all arounds.  When I married my wife if you would have told me in ten years you will not only wear diapers permanently but also be your wife's cuckold I would tell you that you are full of shit.  I am now happily diapered fulltime and I am a cuckold.

Our relationship evolved into a Dommy Mommy dynamic through years of determination and understanding.  Love can find ways to make things a reality.  Never give up that one day that dominant mistress will have you on your knees wearing diapers kissing her ass.  

I always tell people start with finding a non vanilla type woman in the bedroom.  She does not have to be a Dommy Mommy, just a sexual being that is open to a variety of fun in the bedroom.  My wife told me as she was diapering me the day she cuckolded me that it is easy for her to be married to a sexual freak because she is one too.  Be open and honest about your desires.  Some woman are built for the Dommy Mommy role but just do not know it.

Lastly, if you find the right woman put her on a pedestal.  Make her the center of your universe and you may find yourself being diapered sooner than you think.

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47 minutes ago, CuckoldedBabyGirl said:

...and I am a cuckold.

But isn't that a term of humiliation? 

Wikipedia defines a "cuckold" by stating in the first sentence: "A cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife."

Dictionary.com has the following definition: "The husband of an unfaithful wife."

Merriam-Webster defines "cuckold" as: "A man whose wife is unfaithful."

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57 minutes ago, DL-Boy said:

But isn't that a term of humiliation? 

Wikipedia defines a "cuckold" by stating in the first sentence: "A cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife."

Dictionary.com has the following definition: "The husband of an unfaithful wife."

Merriam-Webster defines "cuckold" as: "A man whose wife is unfaithful."

I guess that depends on your perspective.  For me I am happy to be a cuckold.  Is it humiliating?  Of course it is.  Do I deserve to be a cuckold?  Most definitely.  I am a diaper wearing sissy who prematurely ejaculates, has a wee wee, and cannot control his bladder.  Should my wife be forced to live life sexually frustrated and deprived?  Absolutely not.  We can both be happy this way.

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3 hours ago, CuckoldedBabyGirl said:

I guess that depends on your perspective.  For me I am happy to be a cuckold.  Is it humiliating?  Of course it is.  Do I deserve to be a cuckold?  Most definitely.  I am a diaper wearing sissy who prematurely ejaculates, has a wee wee, and cannot control his bladder.  Should my wife be forced to live life sexually frustrated and deprived?  Absolutely not.  We can both be happy this way.

If it was my wife telling me that I wasn't worth having sex with and keeping me out of the bedroom while she screwed someone else, I would be looking for another in short order.  Nobody is worthless and bladder control issues can be an organic issue which can be treated but should not be cause for denigration of the individual as a result.  If you are ****TRUELY**** happy without any reservations at all, then that's great for you but if I had thoughts like that I would be seeking professional counselling to find out why my self-esteem was in the tank and what to do about it.  I would even hope that someone would give me a shove in the right direction towards finding professional help. 

I "PLAY" the baby around my wife and she was always saying that she married a man, not a baby.  That was until I had my penis fixed and now I can and *DO* have sex again, and I satisfy her very well as a matter of fact.  Just today she told me that she used to worry that I was going "ALL BABY" on her but now she understands that I can *PLAY* at AB but still be a MAN in the bedroom when the time comes.

Pardon my being forward but my advice would be to grow a pair and set the situation straight.  Fix your emotional issues and then fix your personal relationship and be the man that you are, or find someone who will treat you and appreciate you for the man that you really are.  Once again, sorry for being so forward but I get very passionate when I see someone emotionally abused - which is what I see here.

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Im pretty sure Cuckoldedbabygirl, just gets off on the humiliation of his wife cheating on him.  A lot of the stimulation this diaper psychology provides is through humiliation.  Some people are driven to different lengths to satisfy these humiliation urges. Including being "sissified" or dominated or beaten or being a cuckhold.  If both he and his wife are comfortable with their defined boundaries, it doesnt neccessarily mean he is being abused.  It cant really be abuse if both people are enjoying it and comfortable within their alternate lifestyle.

It does increase the chance that his wife may form an emotional attachment to one of her new partners, and then desire a permanent relationship with the new person. That can create a messy situation of either polygamy or divorce or both.  But that is not abuse if both parties are willing to go down that road.

 

 

Edited by Brudda Voodu
improper word usage
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7 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

If it was my wife telling me that I wasn't worth having sex with and keeping me out of the bedroom while she screwed someone else, I would be looking for another in short order.  Nobody is worthless and bladder control issues can be an organic issue which can be treated but should not be cause for denigration of the individual as a result.  If you are ****TRUELY**** happy without any reservations at all, then that's great for you but if I had thoughts like that I would be seeking professional counselling to find out why my self-esteem was in the tank and what to do about it.  I would even hope that someone would give me a shove in the right direction towards finding professional help. 

I "PLAY" the baby around my wife and she was always saying that she married a man, not a baby.  That was until I had my penis fixed and now I can and *DO* have sex again, and I satisfy her very well as a matter of fact.  Just today she told me that she used to worry that I was going "ALL BABY" on her but now she understands that I can *PLAY* at AB but still be a MAN in the bedroom when the time comes.

Pardon my being forward but my advice would be to grow a pair and set the situation straight.  Fix your emotional issues and then fix your personal relationship and be the man that you are, or find someone who will treat you and appreciate you for the man that you really are.  Once again, sorry for being so forward but I get very passionate when I see someone emotionally abused - which is what I see here.

There has been a big misunderstanding here.  A cuckolding lifestyle is something I encouraged my wife to seek AFTER I made the decision that I simply could not stop wearing diapers.  Having a sissy husband wearing pink diapers was not a sexual turn on for my wife and left her very sexually frustrated and unhappy.  Despite this, she remained faithful but miserable and her sex life consisted of large silicon toys. 

As @Brudda Voodu  has articulated in the previous post, I need humiliation to be sexually satisfied.  This need is what turned me into a sissy.  That is what made me decide to wear diapers permanently.  That is why I begged my wife to find a real man to satisfy her sexual needs.

Did this make me TRULY happy?  It absolutely did.  My wife's normal sexual needs that I were incapable of fulfilling were taken care of and for the first time a dirty diaper did not remind my wife of her suffering.  Our marriage skyrocketed.  She was put on a pedestal by me and became more dominant and even playful.  This is when she became a Dommy Mommy and we delved in orgasm denial, chastity play, and domestic servitude.  It was a very fun time in our marriage and honestly brought us much closer.

As far as reservations @Brudda Voodu alluded to the risk of an emotional bond forming between my wife and her lover which could lead to a divorce and he is completely right.  I have had to learn to accept this possibility as I personally believe it is very hard for a woman to simply have a sexual relationship without emotions.  There are always the "what ifs".  What if my wife decides she is tired of her husband's dirty diapers?  What if she falls in love with her lover?  All this depends on your relationship and being open and honest with one another.  My wife chose a lover she had been with previously.  He was large and in charge but someone she could never be with in a serious sense.  Just because he can make her cum so hard her lips go numb does not mean she wants to spend the rest of her life with him.  Did she have an emotional bond with him?  Absolutely.  As she told me when she first cuckolded me with him that she is never going to fuck some random guy and has stayed true to that word.  If she decided to fuck a random guy, I would be happy for her.

@DL-Boy It would seem that you may have never heard of cuckolding.  It is a much more common lifestyle than you think.  Just as this forum is here for those that like to wear diapers there are forums for those that live in a happy cuckold lifestyle.  Many marriages thrive with such an arrangement and I know my certainly has.  Marriages can also end with this play.  Marriages can also end wearing diapers.  

One more clarification.  Although I have always had some form of anal leakage and OAB I did not lose control of my bladder until I decided to wear diapers permanently.  I unpotty trained myself so do not feel sorry for me.  This is the life I wanted and the life I felt my wife should not be tied down to unless she wanted to be.  Despite these choices my wife remains by my side, is understanding and accepting, and plans to spend the rest of her life doing nothing different.  If my wife woke up one day and said I cannot be with a sissy baby husband anymore I am I leaving I would understand.  Do I think that will ever happen, I really do not.

I wrote the following article that explains diaper wearing and my marriage at nauseam.  It is a good read and will help you understand the dynamic I share with my wife.

I do not want to grow a pair.  I would much rather be castrated.  I could not be happier, uncontrollably wetting my pink diaper while doing household chores as my wife fucks another man, with my encouragement.  There is nothing to fix.  I live in a dream like fantasy with an accepting and understanding wife.  My wife and I are soulmates.  Compatablie in every way accept in the bedroom.  For some this leads in divorce.  For us we found a way around it that makes both of us happy.  I can live life diapered and she can live life sexually satsified.  Enough said.

 

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8 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

If it was my wife telling me that I wasn't worth having sex with and keeping me out of the bedroom while she screwed someone else, I would be looking for another in short order.  Nobody is worthless and bladder control issues can be an organic issue which can be treated but should not be cause for denigration of the individual as a result.  If you are ****TRUELY**** happy without any reservations at all, then that's great for you but if I had thoughts like that I would be seeking professional counselling to find out why my self-esteem was in the tank and what to do about it.  I would even hope that someone would give me a shove in the right direction towards finding professional help. 

I "PLAY" the baby around my wife and she was always saying that she married a man, not a baby.  That was until I had my penis fixed and now I can and *DO* have sex again, and I satisfy her very well as a matter of fact.  Just today she told me that she used to worry that I was going "ALL BABY" on her but now she understands that I can *PLAY* at AB but still be a MAN in the bedroom when the time comes.

Pardon my being forward but my advice would be to grow a pair and set the situation straight.  Fix your emotional issues and then fix your personal relationship and be the man that you are, or find someone who will treat you and appreciate you for the man that you really are.  Once again, sorry for being so forward but I get very passionate when I see someone emotionally abused - which is what I see here.

That is a rather bold statement to say about someone/something that you don't understand.

That's like saying that because I'm a domme mommy and like treating my boyfriend like the little diapered boy that he is  - that I am "emotionally abusing him' because I'm not treating him as a "man" (in and out of the bedroom) although, that is the farthest from the truth, as I believe him to be one of the manliest men that I've ever met. I'm also a sadist and love to humiliate/degrade him as well. So what does that say about me? Hmmm? 

Just because you don't agree/understand another relationship type - doesn't make it emotionally abusive. This bothers me because I was actually in an emotionally abusive relationship for many years. It's not something to take lightly and not just something you should be accusing someone else with that easily.

 

 

But, back to the OP - finding a domme mommy is like finding a needle in the haystack. You have to make yourself appeal different then the millions of others. Most of the time those that treat domme mommy's with respect and dignity and don't act desperate, usually can find one. I met my boyfriend on here and he never treated me in a way like most people do here. Over time we became friends, the best friends, then we started dating, and even then it took a bit before we formed a domme / mommy relationship. Make friends, make connections, go to groups or whatever. Treat them as if they're human beings and not just someone who is going to change your diaper. Have something to offer them. It is a two way street. There is so much you can give to a mommy type, as a AB/little. It's not all about what can they do for you - but think what can you do for them. 

And as what was said before, sometimes you'll have to look outside the ABDL/BDSM world and look at vanilla relationships. Just be open and honest with them before things get too serious. 

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@CuckoldedBabyGirl, my post was well intended as I thought I saw some sort of tacit cry for help in your wording.  If you look at everything I said carefully, you'll see that I thought I was giving advice to someone who was forced against their will to participate in your situation, not someone who is a willing participant, and someone who proposed the idea in the first place.  I was apparently wrong.  While I can't begin to understand the thought process that took you on the journey to this path, if you are a willing party to your situation and it wasn't forced upon you, then more power to you.

I apologise for offering you advice where none was solicited. I wish you the best in your lifestyle that you have chosen.

 

To @mamabug, apparently I misread his situation and I appreciate you adding your insights.  A thorough re-read of my post though should allay any of your concerns about my motives though, as it should be fairly clear that I though he was subjugated into his lifestyle against his will, which is apparently the furthest from the truth seeing as how he apparently was the one who suggested the situation in the first place.  While I am ABDL and I play baby part-time and I'm a man in the bedroom when I'm not playing, it's difficult to get my head wrapped around the fact that some might voluntarily choose to never experience the kind of sexual intimacy that I've been missing for over half of my marriage due to ED and other issues with my genitalia, of which I got resolved surgically just over 3 months ago.  Since I can now be the man that I couldn't for over 20 years, and I live for that intimacy and stimulation, it's just not easy to understand when someone voluntarily gives up ever having again what I just got back recently... The ability to please my partner sexually.

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@DL-Boy I honestly was not offended.  It was simply a misunderstanding.  Everyone here is so vastly different in their beliefs and experiences with the only common bond generally being diapers.  What is one person's dream can be another one's nightmare.  In the ABDL lifestyle I think it is simply best to not judge others.  To me there are not a lot of wrong or right answers with being ABDL.  The right answer is what makes you happy.  The choices you make to be happy can also lead to consequences that may have an opposite effect and sound advice from someone is not a bad thing.  You were simply being a concerned poster.

Some find the relationship I share with my wife unfathomable.  Some wish they were me.  The whole point of posting on this topic is that I believe there is someone out there for you no matter what your desires are.  Finding that person may be hard but never ever give up hope that person is out there.

3 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

@CuckoldedBabyGirl, my post was well intended as I thought I saw some sort of tacit cry for help in your wording.  If you look at everything I said carefully, you'll see that I thought I was giving advice to someone who was forced against their will to participate in your situation, not someone who is a willing participant, and someone who proposed the idea in the first place.  I was apparently wrong.  While I can't begin to understand the thought process that took you on the journey to this path, if you are a willing party to your situation and it wasn't forced upon you, then more power to you.

I apologise for offering you advice where none was solicited. I wish you the best in your lifestyle that you have chosen.

 

To @mamabug, apparently I misread his situation and I appreciate you adding your insights.  A thorough re-read of my post though should allay any of your concerns about my motives though, as it should be fairly clear that I though he was subjugated into his lifestyle against his will, which is apparently the furthest from the truth seeing as how he apparently was the one who suggested the situation in the first place.  While I am ABDL and I play baby part-time and I'm a man in the bedroom when I'm not playing, it's difficult to get my head wrapped around the fact that some might voluntarily choose to never experience the kind of sexual intimacy that I've been missing for over half of my marriage due to ED and other issues with my genitalia, of which I got resolved surgically just over 3 months ago.  Since I can now be the man that I couldn't for over 20 years, and I live for that intimacy and stimulation, it's just not easy to understand when someone voluntarily gives up ever having again what I just got back recently... The ability to please my partner sexually.

For my wife and I despite being soulmates outside of the bedroom there has never been a true since of sexual compatibility between us.  In our youth and when we first met we were of course like rabbits and made love all the time.  I introduced her to the fetishes I enjoyed which she accepted but not necessarily made her wet.  The lone exception of course being breastfeeding.  God may have forgotten to make me wife's clitoris functional but he made up for it by basically making her two nipples act as clitorieses.  In my mind I have always believed that meant we were destined to be despite our incompatibility in the bedroom.

Just like me, my wife is submissive.  However, I am submissive all the time where as she only wants to be forced to submit in the bedroom.  I could never fulfill those desires for her wearing pink diapers.  Also, she is 10% sexual and 90% everything else and I am the exact opposite.  The humiliation of wearing diapers and losing control has actually helped to control my desires when she is in 90% everything else mode.  

I am forever thankful for the sacrifices my wife made in our marriage so I could happily live the lifestyle that makes me happy.  Make no mistake I was the selfish one here and she chose to accept that.  Most woman would have left me crying in my dirty diapers.

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  • 3 weeks later...

In my experience, usually when people complain that there aren't enough dominant mommy types, what they really mean is there aren't enough dominant mommy types that they find attractive. Not suggesting this applies to you, but it might be worth looking inward to see if it does. There are so many dominant mommies out there looking, but are overlooked for so many reasons.

A friend of mine had such a hard time finding a dominant partner, despite the fact that many were interested. He just wanted the impossible - attractive, wealthy, strictly dominant and willing to deal with all of his shortcomings. Focus on what you want out of a relationship and not finding the perfect mommy of your dreams.

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  • 4 weeks later...

For one thing, it depends on what you’re looking to get out of the other individual. If you’re looking for someone to have a relationship with that includes them being your mommy or other parental figure, basing it solely off of the kink is a horrible idea. You’re much better off going about normal dating and whatnot, getting to know and bond with that individual, and see about incorporating your carnal needs when it is appropriate. 

As much as you desire to have your needs fulfilled, people still are people and other people have needs that need to be met as well. Value the person first before all else, and then go from there.

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