The Consequences of being found out

[MellowYellow]

So its pretty obvious most people here don't want most people in there lives to know about there ABDL fetish (and any other fetish), but what are some of the real consequences of being found out besides simple social rejection?

Topic may come off as out of touch, but I have been wrapping my head around this for a few days trying to find some tangible consequences in society (I live in the US so people are more socially tolerant here).

Any Ideas?

[Ames]

I see what you are saying. I do agree but I think social rejection can have pretty rubbish effects on people. 

My personal biggest worry is that there seems to be a link some people make between people who like to be a baby/child with the perception of them being interested in children in an unhealthy way. I work with children and my worry is that even though I know it's utter rubbish, it would somehow cost me my job. 

[MellowYellow]

2 hours ago, Ames said:

I see what you are saying. I do agree but I think social rejection can have pretty rubbish effects on people. 

My personal biggest worry is that there seems to be a link some people make between people who like to be a baby/child with the perception of them being interested in children in an unhealthy way. I work with children and my worry is that even though I know it's utter rubbish, it would somehow cost me my job. 

That's actually quite a substantial consequence if you are working with children. I can see why you would want to keep it a secret.

[Ames]

14 minutes ago, MellowYellow said:

That's actually quite a substantial consequence if you are working with children. I can see why you would want to keep it a secret

It's just something I have seen mentioned quite a lot 

[littleTomás]

Dream A Little had an episode focused on this issue, link here.

For me, I think the biggest challenge would be having my family find out about my kink. I'd probably have to have a series of awkward conversations about the topic. When I created this profile (and my Fetlife account), I saw it as taking a calculated risk. I reveal a lot of information about myself in my bio, so anyone at my university with half a brain could figure out who I am. I just made the personal choice that I see the benefits of saying quite a bit about myself to make it easier for me to connect with others in the community outweigh the potential drawbacks of having a bunch of awkward conversations with my family.

[DL-Boy]

I simply don't care what people think...

I was driving home from the monthly Littles Night last night and decided to stop at McDonald's for some food.  I was wearing a bomber jacket over my "Construction Trucks" onesie and had a dark brown Australian outback western hat on but I still had my blue pacifier in my mouth when I went through the drive thru.  The girl at the window didn't even give me a second look or act like anything was out of the ordinary when she saw this baby blue pacifier attached by a ribbon tethered to my onesie and stuck in my mouth.

I just smiled thru the paci as I took my order...

[KyleABDL]

the absolute worst case scenario.

family disowns you, never wants to see you again.

employer finds out you could be tarnishing the name of the company, lose your job.

"friends" stop being your friends. maybe make fun of you.

neighbors dont want their kids anywhere near you and give you disgusting looks.

realisticly, friends see you less, and family think you're weird and look at you a little differently, neighbors think you're creepy and cut off ties with you.

[DL-Boy]

Naah.  Highly doubt any of that.  Of course maybe my situation is different than most.  I've come out to some of my friends and co-workers and I'm seriously considering getting a t-shirt with the Abena L4 print and will probably wear it to work sometime.

[DL-Boy]

Update, I did by the L4 t-shirt with the "L4" lettering yesterday.  Will have fun wearing it to silently broadcast to other ABDLs, who I am (or more to the point, "what I am").

[Brudda Voodu]

18 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

Update, I did by the L4 t-shirt with the "L4" lettering yesterday.  Will have fun wearing it to silently broadcast to other ABDLs, who I am (or more to the point, "what I am").

Why do you feel the need to broadcast this part of yourself so much? In my mind the one person you should be sharing this with is your wife. In my opinion you are excitedly broadcasting your diaper self to attract a like minded romantic partner. If you are married, that is not fair to your wife.

 

[DL-Boy]

3 hours ago, Brudda Voodu said:

Why do you feel the need to broadcast this part of yourself so much? In my mind the one person you should be sharing this with is your wife. In my opinion you are excitedly broadcasting your diaper self to attract a like minded romantic partner. If you are married, that is not fair to your wife.

 

ABDL friends don't have to be sexually intimate with one another.  I have many ABDL friends and this would be a means of "NETWORKING" to gain other friends with whom I could introduce to the local ABDL community as a whole.  

[Alex Bridges]

People have lost jobs, lost custody of their kids, and lost their family after being outed. It is a very big deal.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Confusedcus say "A closed mouth gathers no foot"

[DL-Boy]

2 hours ago, Alex Bridges said:

People have lost jobs, lost custody of their kids, and lost their family after being outed. It is a very big deal.

@Alex Bridges, I don't know if that was directed toward my comment about the L4 shirt or the subject of this thread in general.  If it was directed to me regarding my previous post:

• I have no kids to take away
• Part of my family already knows about my diapers, onesies and other stuff
• I'm not concerned about being outed to anyone
• Losing a job over wearing diapers is discrimination or ADA lawsuit waiting to happen

So it ISN'T a big deal for me to wear diapers and to wear subtle hints of my diaper wearing like the L4 shirt at work or in public.

[Brudda Voodu]

5 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

@Alex Bridges, I don't know if that was directed toward my comment about the L4 shirt or the subject of this thread in general.  If it was directed to me regarding my previous post:

• I have no kids to take away
• Part of my family already knows about my diapers, onesies and other stuff
• I'm not concerned about being outed to anyone
• Losing a job over wearing diapers is discrimination or ADA lawsuit waiting to happen

So it ISN'T a big deal for me to wear diapers and to wear subtle hints of my diaper wearing like the L4 shirt at work or in public.

If your behavior makes people in society uncomfortable, you will become a pariah.  Loneliness is terrible. If your behavior losses you a job and you want to sue for discrimination, you will have a difficult time setting a legal precedent. Assuming you can afford a lawyer, let alone find one to champion your case.  Losing your job for being incontinent is one thing, losing it for engaging in fetishism on the job is quite another.

 

[SoakedinTexas]

On 1/29/2020 at 10:57 AM, DL-Boy said:

Update, I did by the L4 t-shirt with the "L4" lettering yesterday.  Will have fun wearing it to silently broadcast to other ABDLs, who I am (or more to the point, "what I am").

If I see you out and about wearing the shirt, I will surely say hello. 

[DL-Boy]

5 hours ago, Brudda Voodu said:

If your behavior makes people in society uncomfortable, you will become a pariah.  Loneliness is terrible. If your behavior losses you a job and you want to sue for discrimination, you will have a difficult time setting a legal precedent. Assuming you can afford a lawyer, let alone find one to champion your case.  Losing your job for being incontinent is one thing, losing it for engaging in fetishism on the job is quite another.

 

I don't flaunt anything. There are only two people in this world who can say for sure if one is incontinent or not, the individual and their doctor. Additionally, diaper wearing in my case is an emotional comfort thing, a way to destress. I have never gone out in public while not decent, always wearing pants over any diaper I may (or may not) be wearing. The pacifier is incidental. It's maybe a bit odd but definitely not dangerous. Wearing a shirt that has juvenile prints is perfectly fine. Nobody can tell how far down my body the shirt goes.

 

I believe you, @Brudda Voodu are only a self-righteous evangelist who thinks everything should fit your cookie cutter ideals.  You have already twice accused me of trying to coerce my wife into letting me have sex with other people, accused me of siding with an accused pedophile of whom you had been the judge and jury, and now you seem to be saying that I am forcing others to participate without consent.  That's your opinion but it's false.  Maybe a little less crusading and a little more constructive participation would be helpful...

[Brudda Voodu]

Fair enough. I don't mean to offend you, but I stand by everything I have written.  I wish you and yours well in life.

[Alex Bridges]

9 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

@Alex Bridges, I don't know if that was directed toward my comment about the L4 shirt or the subject of this thread in general.  If it was directed to me regarding my previous post:

• I have no kids to take away
• Part of my family already knows about my diapers, onesies and other stuff
• I'm not concerned about being outed to anyone
• Losing a job over wearing diapers is discrimination or ADA lawsuit waiting to happen

So it ISN'T a big deal for me to wear diapers and to wear subtle hints of my diaper wearing like the L4 shirt at work or in public.

Yeah, not directed at you. CCL

[DL-Boy]

11 minutes ago, Alex Bridges said:

Yeah, not directed at you. CCL

@Alex Bridges, I didn't think so, but I figured I'd state my case just in case others who would be unfairly judgemental decided to jump on the dog pile with me on the bottom. 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

12 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

@Alex Bridges, I don't know if that was directed toward my comment about the L4 shirt or the subject of this thread in general.  If it was directed to me regard

• Losing a job over wearing diapers is discrimination or ADA lawsuit waiting to happen

So it ISN'T a big deal for me to wear diapers and to wear subtle hints of my diaper wearing like the L4 shirt at work or in public.

As for "discrimination". Listen to Handel on the Law". The only discrinination charges you can make are race, sex or a very limited list of others. Since this is a fetis sub sub-forum, it is presumed that the diaper wearing on the job is fetishistic, for which one could be fired on the basis of distraction or forcing your fetish on co-workers. For the same reason, ADA lawsuit is off-topic (it would belong in incontinence - medical) and you would probably be told to bring a doctor's diagnosis to back it up by the employer. Also doing things that call attention to your fetish is borderline exhibitionism: You know the standing headline "Man arrested wearing only a diaper [which is a VERY big deal]". And as the thrill monster finds wearing the shirt and "subtle hints [which may be forcing your fetish on others by calling attention to it]" less and less satisfying, you up the ante and get more "daring" until you go over the edge Have you any idea of how a 70 year olo guy doing the perp walk in a pamper looks?

[DL-Boy]

@Little Christine, As I said before, wearing vanilla clothing (blue jeans) over a diaper does not expose individuals to the actual undergarment or visibility of such garment.  At that point a diaper is simply one's underwear of choice and is nobody's else's business or concern and cannot be grounds for any adverse actions.  One's choice of juvenile prints on shirts worn in public is at worst, "unusual" or "odd" but nothing that can get one in trouble.  Wearing a print that is derived directly or indirectly from a diaper's design but doesn't specifically scream DIAPER in words or images, is just that: a design of cryptic origins, and nothing more, once again - that cannot legally draw adverse actions. 

As to what is legally considered discrimination, that depends on the state in which the alleged infraction and the alleged discrimination occurred.

Also, it might be argued that it is more risqué to go commando under your pants than to wear a diaper under them.  With the latter, at least one is wearing underwear while the former isn't.  Either one, however is equally okay as the individual is still wearing clothing that covers their nether bits.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Just now, DL-Boy said:

@Little Christine, As I said before, wearing vanilla clothing (blue jeans) over a diaper does not expose individuals to the actual undergarment or visibility of such garment.  At that point a diaper is simply a garment of choice and is nobody's else's business or concern and cannot be grounds for any adverse actions.  One's choice of juvenile prints on shirts worn in public is at worst, "unusual" or "odd" but nothing that can get one in trouble.  Wearing a print that is derived directly or indirectly from a diaper's design but doesn't specifically scream DIAPER in words or images, is just that: a design of cryptic origins, and nothing more, once again - that cannot legally draw adverse actions. 

As to what is legally defended as discrimination, that depends on the state in which the alleged infraction and the alleged discrimination occurred.

As long as you stay "vanilla" that is true but you were the once claiming to drop "subtle hints", which is calling attention to it, which is no longer vanilla and is making it everybody's business by, however subtly", "putting it in the street [as the old anti-drunk driving ad went; 'your lifestyle is your business; but when you take it on the road, it's everyone's business']", and "subtle" is in the eye of the beholder and just guess what will happen if this is in the presence of children, even if you did not expect them to be there. What happens to you when the "pedo" rumors, no matter how false, start going around? Tolerence was won by promising to respect privacy and public sensibilities (not acting like self-absorbed dweebs as if we are the only persons in the world). And just how "private" is a case of 'diaper  blowout" in public?

As to the lawsuit. what happens when your boss brings in one or two coworkers who were offended by the "subtle hints" and claims that you are having a deleterious effect on the work environment just to get some jollies?

In short; save yourself a ton of unintended consequences and JUST DON"T

[DL-Boy]

24 minutes ago, Little Christine said:

As long as you stay "vanilla" that is true but you were the once claiming to drop "subtle hints", which is calling attention to it, which is no longer vanilla and is making it everybody's business by, however subtly", "putting it in the street [as the old anti-drunk driving ad went; 'your lifestyle is your business; but when you take it on the road, it's everyone's business']", and "subtle" is in the eye of the beholder and just guess what will happen if this is in the presence of children, even if you did not expect them to be there. What happens to you when the "pedo" rumors, no matter how false, start going around? Tolerence was won by promising to respect privacy and public sensibilities (not acting like self-absorbed dweebs as if we are the only persons in the world). And just how "private" is a case of 'diaper  blowout" in public?

As to the lawsuit. what happens when your boss brings in one or two coworkers who were offended by the "subtle hints" and claims that you are having a deleterious effect on the work environment just to get some jollies?

In short; save yourself a ton of unintended consequences and JUST DON"T

Only those who have had past association with a specific design found on a specific diaper would know what that design is from.  There could be a number of reasons why one might wear the design, among the reasons: that they think the design looks cool (racing stripe, you know).

[DL-Boy]

For a little perspective on the "subtle hint" referred to above, here's a mock-up of such a shirt (not the original watermarked image from RedBubble, one of my own creation).  Does anyone see anything that would scream "DIAPER" to a vanilla?