Small Rant

[DiapergirlWB]

So it really bothers me when people come in this forum to berate us.  "you will ruin your life" blah blah blah...

It take a lot of Work and time to train to become diaper dependent.  LOOOOOOOONG before it actually happens a person trying will know exactly what their life will be like.  How much it will cost. whether or not they will be happy.  It isn't a switch you press and bam yer a wetter of pooper and stuck for life.  So please if that is why you are here please take your unwanted judgemental opinion and stick them where the sun don't shine.

[justforfun]

31 minutes ago, DiapergirlWB said:

So it really bothers me when people come in this forum to berate us.  "you will ruin your life" blah blah blah...

It take a lot of Work and time to train to become diaper dependent.  LOOOOOOOONG before it actually happens a person trying will know exactly what their life will be like.  How much it will cost. whether or not they will be happy.  It isn't a switch you press and bam yer a wetter of pooper and stuck for life.  So please if that is why you are here please take your unwanted judgemental opinion and stick them where the sun don't shine.

I understand where you're coming from... but I'm not sure that I'd agree that everyone that thinks about going down this path knows what they're getting in to.  I sure didn't.

I made myself restart bedwetting ~20 years ago.  I was in my mid 20's.  At the time, becoming a bedwetter justified my love for wearing diapers, and for a number of years, things were fine and great.

Life changes, though... I got married, had a kid, and priorities changed.  And bedwetting became sleep wetting... not just a thing in the bedroom at night.  I had thought, in the back of my mind, that I could just decide to not wet the bed any more, and I'd stop.  I put a huge amount of effort into it while my daughter was toilet training.  Guess who still wears diapers at night?  And on planes? And in cars? And on the couch if I'm watching TV?  It's not what I had imagined 20 years ago.

While I certainly do see some people come in and just berate people, I (and others) do try to occasionally speak up just to make sure that people who are thinking about it realize that they're not just making a decision that will affect them in their current life, job, and family situation, but that the repercussions are often life-long, even when the situation might not be as ideal as it is at the moment of decision.

Anyway, my point is that while some people may make their arguments poorly, I do think that it's important to get people to think about the much longer implications about what they're doing.  Hopefully it can be done in a thoughtful and constructive way, rather than berating people, though...

[AbabeBill]

I can understand your ranting on this subject. It sucks to have someone bash you, for an idea you believe is right for yourself. You are entitled to do as you see fit for yourself. I don’t have a problem with that, for you or anyone else. I do have to admit it though, I have on occasion, gave people advice on this subject, with a slant toward not doing so. Not for any other reason, but because not everyone thinks, or weighs all the pros and cons to this. It’s only ever been, to try and be helpful, not to belittle anyone. I have always tried to, politely point out things, they may have not considered. I think I have learned a bit more myself, and these days, only give advice to more specific questions put forth. I will not tell anyone, and never really have, what they want is wrong. But, now I will just try and answer things like, “if I try and make myself incontent, what’s the best diaper to go with?” I will just, concentrate on the underlined question. 
I know it can be frustrating, when other people throw out their unsolicited advice. But try and remember too, not everyone is trying to bash people, in giving advice. Sometimes it’s a case of wanting to help, and be giving of ones own life experiences. Just something to think about. Have fun, and enjoy it. I always like to, leave it with that idea. 

[adhb]

I have urge urinary incontinence and have worn a diaper 24/7/365 for over 30 years. As a result of needing to wear a diaper and of belonging to groups such as this, I’ve learned to enjoy wearing a diaper and have become a DL. Being incontinent and needing to wear protection most certainly has not ruined my life. I’ve had a successful professional career and am happily married. Nevertheless, having to wear a diaper 24/7/365 is a an expensive nuisance. I spend over $300 a month on diapers, I must never allow myself to run out of diapers, and I have to have spare diapers with me wherever I go and whatever I’m doing. I do enjoy wearing and using a diaper, but it would certainly be nice not to have to do so all the time.

[rusty pins]

Yes, this particular forum is for those who wish to make themselves incontinent.  There are rules against bashing people in this forum for wanting to make themselves incontinent.  Bashing is not allowed.  It is not anyone's job to try and bash those here who make that decision weather you agree with it or not.  There are other forums on this site to debate that point.  On the other hand, especially for those in their early 20's who are considering it, I don't see any problem with anyone saying, "Think clearly about what your future may lie ahead and just make sure it's what you really want for the next 60 or more years".  After all, once you make that decision there is no going back and no "Buyer's Remorse".

[oznl]

1 hour ago, rusty pins said:

Yes, this particular forum is for those who wish to make themselves incontinent.  There are rules against bashing people in this forum for wanting to make themselves incontinent.  Bashing is not allowed.  It is not anyone's job to try and bash those here who make that decision weather you agree with it or not.  There are other forums on this site to debate that point.  On the other hand, especially for those in their early 20's who are considering it, I don't see any problem with anyone saying, "Think clearly about what your future may lie ahead and just make sure it's what you really want for the next 60 or more years".  After all, once you make that decision there is no going back and no "Buyer's Remorse".

I agree with @rusty pins here:

There is sometimes a bit of argumentum ad hominem going on, posters attacking the individual rather than the idea, and I’m not too impressed with that.

Overall however, I think it’s good that ideas can be challenged and maybe the odd hormone-inflated balloon gets popped with the cold steel pin of reality.  Otherwise, we have a cheerleading instead of peer enlightenment.

Although after a year of 24/7, some bedwetting has appeared suggesting that although it wasn’t originally specifically an objective, some progress down “Dependency Drive” has taken place, I still have reservations for some who are actually looking for this.  I’m nearly on the wrong side of mid 50s and I’ve done a lot and seen a lot that would have been difficult or impossible to do diapered.

When I see somebody in the 20s going for this, I think it’s no bad thing if somebody prods them to think about this from a long-haul perspective.  That doesn’t mean they need to be berated though.  Who are we to judge and if they can't float these boats here then where?  

[spark]

1 hour ago, rusty pins said:

Yes, this particular forum is for those who wish to make themselves incontinent.  There are rules against bashing people in this forum for wanting to make themselves incontinent.  Bashing is not allowed.  It is not anyone's job to try and bash those here who make that decision weather you agree with it or not.  There are other forums on this site to debate that point.  On the other hand, especially for those in their early 20's who are considering it, I don't see any problem with anyone saying, "Think clearly about what your future may lie ahead and just make sure it's what you really want for the next 60 or more years".  After all, once you make that decision there is no going back and no "Buyer's Remorse".

I've participated on these threads for a long-time, and incontinent desires is always one of the most peculiar desires around.   If you think about- it's a very strange desire to have.   I have bad knees and can't run, jump, or play many sports.   I would question anybody who wanted to have arthritic knees, unless you really like the taste of ibuprofen?  From the perspective of of IC suffering, this desire would seem absurd.  And yet- from the perspective the abdl desire- it's the connection to our infantile state.  I'm not potty trained, therefore part of me is still a baby- and that is a desirable state.  Some figure out how manage the incontinence, and make the best out it.

I'm wondering if it is a non-reversible process.  Not a lot of study has been made on unpotty training, because there are a limited number of subjects that are available.   We know that is potty training a conditioned response, and (based on what I've read)- it's easier to potty train a younger child than an older one.   We also know that unpotty training is a conditioned response, and each person is very different, and to do it naturally takes a long time and a lot of commitment.   If somebody did naturally lose the control of their bladder- it would like take just as much commitment to retrain you bladder use the toilet.   That would take a lot of effort to achieve, and given the effort it took to lose it- chances are the desire to regain continence isn't there.    The percentage of people who want to unpotty train is very low, and the number have successfully unpotty trained is even low.  What % of subjects who successfully unpotty trained have had the desire to potty train again?   And is that desire strong to to allow them to recondition their body?

It's because of that commitment that I don't think it's necessary to warn somebody of the side-effects of incontinence.    Something like the 12-month program takes long enough to achieve success that you're going to fully aware of the issues that full-time diaper use has by the time you truly have a physical need for diapers 24/7.   I've worn diapers 24/7 for way more than a year, still wouldn't consider myself unpotty trained.   The likely reason is fairly simple.  Even though I have fantasies of being unpotty trained, the reality is that not what I really want.   it's not letting me go to a subconscious level, because I don't want to .  My mind is already policing itself, so I don't need somebody to do it for me.

Where I think we do have a duty to caution is the self-mutilation methods that are occasionally contemplated.  In those cases- there are deeper underlying issues going on, and in reality the desire for incontinence is not the real issue.  

[incondl]

People come to this board and particular thread because they are curious and or want to become incontinent. We shouldn't warn them at all. We should answer any questions they may have. On down the road they can decide if it's something for them. I signed on this board sometime in 2008 I think. It helped me decide if I wanted full bowel incontinence with the already urinary incontinence I have. I decided I did and I looked to this board for reinforcement to gain it until people came on making every effort to get me to rethink it. So I left the board for several years so I could "go it alone." Now fully dual incontinent I came back knowing the naysayers couldn't have any affect on me. Today I will help anyone that truly wants it with only positive reinforcement. They have decided or are strongly considering going through with it. What they need is help in managing it in different situations in life. I will always pass on whatever it is I've learned to help that person. That's what all of us should do. Let the fence sitters decide what's best for them. That's just my opinion.