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Disturbing Personal Messages


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It is a shame that a tiny percentage of our members cannot understand that while many of us want to be friendly and helpful, we do not have unlimited time for communication.

In mid December I received a long PM from a member who introduced himself as a fan of my stories. He included several photos, none of which were offensive, yet they were not of interest to me.

Never the less I replied as soon as I had a spare moment and did my best to answer his questions.

Over the next few days he sent me several other messages, asking very similar questions as if he had not read my previous replies. Then just before New Years he asked another similar question. Unfortunately my loving husband and I were staying with friends, so I did not check my computer. He had asked a similar question on Saturday, 4 January. On Sunday 5 January he wrote again complaining that I was ignoring him.

Although I had several other messages from long-standing pals, I replied to the DD member, briefly answering his question and explaining that I had been away. Soon he replied fairly politely.

I answered a few other messages before getting ready to return to my law office early on Monday 6 January.

That evening after a long day with law clients I got home. There was another message from that guy, this time calling me a boring old hag.

Is there any reason why women who are DD members are reluctant to communicate privately?

What a shame that one inconsiderate member can spoil the DD experience for others.

 

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That is why God invented the Ignore List

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I have very limited trust of people so I rarely answer anyone new because I do not want to be harassed by others. I will answer people but it makes me angry when all one is looking for is a mate or someone to take care of them. I have a husband/daddy and not looking for anything other than friends. I am sorry that you had to deal with that situation.

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3 hours ago, WetDad said:

Hi Angela,

...flip the "twit" bit.

Pack the blighter off to the troll boot

Just now, Little Christine said:

Pack the blighter off to the troll booth

 

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I think I am being stalked. The same person, whose Activities appear confined to the stories and art section has visited me 4 times in the last two days and I have put them on my Ignored List but that has not helped. The only thing we have in common is LG (Littel Girl) but they do not contribute to the non-stories parts of the site

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This isnt just here. Instagram, Fetlife(Horrible Site) and others have the same issue with guys not understanding that simply because you respond doesn't mean you now have to dedicate more time to continue conversation with them.

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You seem to have a bit of bad luck with fellas. I remember when the ADISC staff found out your ex had stolen your identity. Ah well, the lord made idiots and the admins made the block button. Not much else you can do I suppose.

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Sadly, that's how it goes.

I've lost count of how many messages I have gotten like that.

And as Awaken said, it's not just on here - I've even gotten disturbing messages on Instagram and regular dating apps before (when I was single).

The best advice is to ignore - and if they keep persisting is to block.

Though what other people who don't get those kind of messages can't understand - it gets REALLY frustrating. So I can't say I haven't snapped a time or two at people who've done it (or more) lol

But, best to try not to let it get to you and just ignore it. 

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It always makes me feel bad, when I hear someone having trouble like this. Especially, when it happens to a female member. I really enjoy seeing, and having ladies input on the site, as well as other sites too. Unfortunately, you are a bit more of a target for some, “pain in the ass” self serving someone, who doesn’t get it. They will always be with us. 
Please keep in mind though, there are lots of other people, who can control themselves, and respect everyone, for who and what they are. That should go for anyone, sex, sexuality orientation, religion, and so on. 
I guess it comes down to, the best you can do is, ignore that element best you can, and look for the good. 
I can understand the frustration, and the need to say something from time to time. So, don’t feel bad for doing just that. I think it’s clear, there are plenty of people willing to listen, and who care. 
Just my 2 cents. 

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Sorry to hear this. Sadly some people don't treat others with respect. That probably isn't ever going to change but I like to think that there are more kind and respectful people out there than, oh let's just call them, "other people."

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....it's sad when people have to go this route. Seems as though some people just don't get the message when someone says "no" or doesn't want to friend them. We're all different here, but also have in common that we are all ABDL in one way shape or form. I myself have a few people I trust & have friended, but I don't want every Tom, Dick or Jane messaging me either. If I send someone a message and they do not message back, I understand and just think they do not want to friend me for whatever reason and that's OK, we all have our own lives & situations. Sorry you're going through this Angela. To me you're one of the most informative people here and I read all your posts. You sound like a very intelligent person(my dad was also an atty)and you sound like a great person to know in real life. Hang in there!!!

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HI Angela, I'm so sorry you had to put up with this crap. Stories like  yours and those of other women in our community bother me to no end. Dudes, be better!   

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He sounds very creepy and clingy, everyone should understand no one is entitled to a conversation. It's fine to send someone a PM but if they don't answer, move on. It is nothing personal. Maybe they are too busy with their lives or they don't do online chats. Some people are not good having a conversation. 

 

I would just put him on ignore and move on. 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have unfortunately had the unpleasant experience of being contacted and badgered by a creep on a few occasions. (Not on DD but elsewhere) I respond to every message but responses may be delayed sometimes when I get real busy. I give everyone new that messages me at least once chance. If your the type that messages me asking how wet and/or messy my diaper is every day and claim you are in love with me even though you have only known me for less than a day you will find yourself blocked rather quickly. Just because I actually responded to your initial message and carried on a short conversation with you does not mean we are in love. To "those" people, you know who you are and you should be ashamed of yourself. I am willing to make friends,  ( I don't bite ) and I am even looking for a partner, but at least i realize that a relationship takes several months if not longer to build, not a day or two. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I've had a few creepy, out of the blue PMs over the years. Mostly I just delete, ignore, and block. If it's excessively rude or offensive then I'll report it and carry on with life. It sucks that people feel it's okay/ find amusement being a jerk but it's the internet. They're not worth my emotional energy to get upset over. 

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 1/7/2020 at 11:53 AM, Angela Bauer said:

It is a shame that a tiny percentage of our members cannot understand that while many of us want to be friendly and helpful, we do not have unlimited time for communication.

In mid December I received a long PM from a member who introduced himself as a fan of my stories. He included several photos, none of which were offensive, yet they were not of interest to me.

Never the less I replied as soon as I had a spare moment and did my best to answer his questions.

Over the next few days he sent me several other messages, asking very similar questions as if he had not read my previous replies. Then just before New Years he asked another similar question. Unfortunately my loving husband and I were staying with friends, so I did not check my computer. He had asked a similar question on Saturday, 4 January. On Sunday 5 January he wrote again complaining that I was ignoring him.

Although I had several other messages from long-standing pals, I replied to the DD member, briefly answering his question and explaining that I had been away. Soon he replied fairly politely.

I answered a few other messages before getting ready to return to my law office early on Monday 6 January.

That evening after a long day with law clients I got home. There was another message from that guy, this time calling me a boring old hag.

Is there any reason why women who are DD members are reluctant to communicate privately?

What a shame that one inconsiderate member can spoil the DD experience for others.

 

@Angela Bauer

 

It **IS** unfortunate that there are some people that like to troll and raise cain in Personal messages.  I always believe that if someone wants to communicate with me that way, as long as they are RESPECTFUL and they do not cross the line, I will communicate with anyone, and I encourage it, if they would rather ask me a question in a PM, that is Fine.

HOWEVER - There is NO REASON why someone should be nasty or disrespectful to someone, and ESPECIALLY a lady - The PM system is a form of communication, but as has been stated, can be a way to cause trouble - In a few forums I am on, they want to see a POST in open forum, and all requests for assistance are IGNORED, unless they are initiated by a staff member, a tech helper, or an ADMIN - This is because if they didn't do that, they would be FLOODED with PM's and solutions found would NOT help someone else.

I used to be an IRC OPerator - This means that I had the /oper command set available to me - We were told that we could /ignore someone if we feel that they were getting out of hand, but for the most part, we did NOT do that, unless the user was NOT keen on following an admin/oper request - Then we used /kill [user:REASON].

I don't like to see members harassed for any reason - It takes away from the community as a whole - It makes people uncomfortable, and there is NO NEED to do that, or I would think @DailyDi, @Elfy or another admin would be BANHAMMERING someone who doesn't "get it."   I feel as if this community is a VERY STRONG one, and that trolling and acting inappropriate are things that are NOT tolerated.  The PM system is NOT supposed to be used to cause trouble - Is a TOOL that, if properly used, is a way to communicate privately with users - somteimes, people want to speak to you off the public forum, in a private way, but that doesn't mean you can be an ASS or a TROLL!!

Perhaps some of these fools should be subjected to a situation where The Defendant is arrested, charged with a CRIME, then as a sentence, 100 WACKS with a VERY ROUND and LARGE Hairbrush or Paddle :D

Angela:  NAAAH, NOT "Boring old hag"  This individual is OBVIOUSLY not aware of your other qualities - People that make generalizations like that show that they don't know what type of person you really are - Keep being who YOU are, and who WE all know you are ?  

To EVERYONE: Remember: Use of the PM system is something that CAN be limited or disabled if abused - If you don't want to get flack from people, TREAT them with RESPECT, and if you ACT like a FOOL, they'll respond accordingly - So THINK before you rattle off something, because as my friend David used to say "Once you Post it, its VERY hard to retract"

Brian

Edited by baker7
Sentence Correection
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