Change in Outlook on ABDL

[cookiemonster23]

As some of you may remember, I asked my last bf to baby me, and he said no. We're broken up now(for unrelated reasons), and I got a new bf. We'll call him Jeff. Jeff told me that he was into littles, but wouldn't want one that played as a baby rather than a child. Because of this, I didn't tell him I was into that until about a month into the relationship. When I came out, Jeff surprised me. He said that he was, in fact, into ABDL. He said he told me he wasn't because he's very picky about who he does it with(he prefers to only do it with people he has a real bond with), and it was easier at the time to just say he wasn't into it. I was shocked, but regardless, I was really happy. Jeff and I are long distance, so he hasn't gotten a chance to baby me in person yet. We'll be meeting early next year, so we'll see how that goes. However, he's done it plenty of times online, and so far, I've loved it. Since this all happened, my outlook on it has changed a lot. In the past, I only went into littlespace to temporarily eliminate the urge to do so. Now, I do it simply because it's fun! I also do it way more often. I didn't think I'd find a daddy so soon. I'm so happy to have not only found one, but to have found a daddy AND a boyfriend in one person!  

[Joey_AB_DL]

Good luck on this latest journey and new segment in your lives.

[babypb]

Congrats, hope it works out for the both of you. It can make life that much better!!!

[BabyLock]

I'll change yours if you change mine !

[rosalie.bent]

I hope it all goes well for you. It is always a tough deal living as a baby in a relationship.

[cookiemonster23]

On 2/17/2020 at 6:42 PM, rosalie.bent said:

I hope it all goes well for you. It is always a tough deal living as a baby in a relationship.

Thank you! I'm so happy to have found him! 

[rosalie.bent]

3 hours ago, cookiemonster23 said:

Thank you! I'm so happy to have found him! 

Finding your own 'better half' is always a challenge. Doing it with someone ABDL tolerant is just that bit harder!

[cookiemonster23]

On 2/28/2020 at 2:48 PM, rosalie.bent said:

Finding your own 'better half' is always a challenge. Doing it with someone ABDL tolerant is just that bit harder!

He's more than tolerant. He's into it! 

[cookiemonster23]

I have some updates on this situation.

1. Jeff and I did not end up meeting in early 2020, like we planned. He had some financial troubles, and found that he could no longer afford it. We couldn't make later plans due to COVID. We often talked of meeting up after the quarantine ended, but it never happened.

2. Jeff and I broke up. To make a long story short, he just became increasingly cold and distant towards me. I tried to talk to him about this on numerous occasions. Each time, he'd say that he was going to do nothing about it. Then, he'd make an empty promise that it'd get better in some unknown point in the future. Of course, it never did. So, I broke it off with him and then cut all contact. There's more to the story, SO much more. There was lying, manipulation, gaslighting, and more. It was a highly abusive relationship. But, that's a story for another time.

TLDR: This post is rather bittersweet for me now, as Jeff is long gone.

[Forced2wet]

On 1/8/2021 at 7:17 AM, cookiemonster23 said:

I have some updates on this situation.

1. Jeff and I did not end up meeting in early 2020, like we planned. He had some financial troubles, and found that he could no longer afford it. We couldn't make later plans due to COVID. We often talked of meeting up after the quarantine ended, but it never happened.

2. Jeff and I broke up. To make a long story short, he just became increasingly cold and distant towards me. I tried to talk to him about this on numerous occasions. Each time, he'd say that he was going to do nothing about it. Then, he'd make an empty promise that it'd get better in some unknown point in the future. Of course, it never did. So, I broke it off with him and then cut all contact. There's more to the story, SO much more. There was lying, manipulation, gaslighting, and more. It was a highly abusive relationship. But, that's a story for another time.

TLDR: This post is rather bittersweet for me now, as Jeff is long gone.

Sorry to hear that, you seemed happy and hopeful initially. 
Good luck finding someone new......if that’s what you want

[LiL Marc]

I'am sorry for you
You should be proud of yourself cause you were strong enough not to fall into a toxic relationship
I send you love!

[cookiemonster23]

On 2/22/2021 at 10:14 AM, LiL Marc said:

I'am sorry for you
You should be proud of yourself cause you were strong enough not to fall into a toxic relationship
I send you love!

 I DID fall into a toxic relationship, though. However, I appreciate the kind words.

[Babyqtboy]

12 hours ago, cookiemonster23 said:

 I DID fall into a toxic relationship, though. However, I appreciate the kind words.

On a positive note, you were able to recognize it a lot sooner than most people would have. I am sorry you went through that but everything happens for a reason. You have at least gained wisdom and insight and so are less likely to fall for this again. You are young, strong and resilient. Best wishes for brighter days to come 

[LiL Marc]

22 minutes ago, Babyqtboy said:

On a positive note, you were able to recognize it a lot sooner than most people would have. I am sorry you went through that but everything happens for a reason. You have at least gained wisdom and insight and so are less likely to fall for this again. You are young, strong and resilient. Best wishes for brighter days to come 

Well said!

[Babyqtboy]

1 hour ago, LiL Marc said:

Well said!

I was in a toxic marriage for 20 years, it nearly broke me and when she finally walked away from me for another person it nearly killed me, literally. I know all too well about “can’t live with them, can’t live without them”, it’s a classic indicator of a toxic relationship, but not even my degree in psychology or trauma counseling helped me recognize the signs. 

[LiL Marc]

2 hours ago, Babyqtboy said:

I was in a toxic marriage for 20 years, it nearly broke me and when she finally walked away from me for another person it nearly killed me, literally. I know all too well about “can’t live with them, can’t live without them”, it’s a classic indicator of a toxic relationship, but not even my degree in psychology or trauma counseling helped me recognize the signs. 

I dont have any degree in psychology but I know that the human brain is considered by the scientific community to be the most complex object in the universe

I may be insulting someone without wanting to, but if all of us here on this forum or any fetish whatsoever, it is probably due to a childhood trauma that we had

What the brain do to protect itself is very twisted

[Babyqtboy]

3 hours ago, LiL Marc said:

I dont have any degree in psychology but I know that the human brain is considered by the scientific community to be the most complex object in the universe

I may be insulting someone without wanting to, but if all of us here on this forum or any fetish whatsoever, it is probably due to a childhood trauma that we had

What the brain do to protect itself is very twisted

It’s actually interesting you mention that, I always assumed I was ABDL because of childhood trauma, ie; erroneous love mapping and attachment theory issues and for me that probably is true, but a study done in the mid 2000’s suggests that only about 10% of fetishists and ABDL’s suffered childhood trauma or even irregular childhoods that would attribute to it. For most it’s actually just an erroneous attachment formed during puberty. An incident of arousal that occurred during the beginning of sexual identification. I can see it both ways personally. My first ejaculation was actually in a diaper and I have a vague idea of why I wanted to put that diaper on in the first place but it wasn’t until I was much older that I understand that I had an AB side and a DL side. The psychology in that is much more confusing. When I want to be babied, it’s definitely a childhood trauma thing and when it’s sexual it’s definitely related to a singular point in my adolescent development. I keep toying with the idea of writing a story based on that lol

[LiL Marc]

16 minutes ago, Babyqtboy said:

It’s actually interesting you mention that, I always assumed I was ABDL because of childhood trauma, ie; erroneous love mapping and attachment theory issues and for me that probably is true, but a study done in the mid 2000’s suggests that only about 10% of fetishists and ABDL’s suffered childhood trauma or even irregular childhoods that would attribute to it. For most it’s actually just an erroneous attachment formed during puberty. An incident of arousal that occurred during the beginning of sexual identification. I can see it both ways personally. My first ejaculation was actually in a diaper and I have a vague idea of why I wanted to put that diaper on in the first place but it wasn’t until I was much older that I understand that I had an AB side and a DL side. The psychology in that is much more confusing. When I want to be babied, it’s definitely a childhood trauma thing and when it’s sexual it’s definitely related to a singular point in my adolescent development. I keep toying with the idea of writing a story based on that lol

I agree with you, I can see it both ways my self

 

 

[Babyqtboy]

20 minutes ago, LiL Marc said:

I agree with you, I can see it both ways my self

 

 

If there is one thing I learned about statistics and population samples is that the finer you tune it, the more skewed it becomes. I don’t doubt or question those that say they are AB because of childhood trauma but at the same time, I don’t question those that are AB and don’t have childhood trauma. The DL side of it is a different psychological aspect, for most it is a fetish that manifested during puberty, assuming it is purely sexual. That’s just basic sexual objectification of an inanimate object, which at the time of onset puberty is as about predictable as chaos theory lol. No one can accurately predict what outside force is going to influence sexual desires.