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Question for folks that are incon and had kids... at what point did your kids ask you about diapers and stuff? Were you incon when they were born or did it happen later? 

I'm eventually going to have to sort this out. I've got a little one (not quite a year old), but I'm in diapers 24/7 at this point due to OAB, bedwetting and occasional urge incontinence. Not sure if I should do my best to hide it until he hits a certain age? Or when should I expect him to figure it out on his own? Or something else.

Anyways, I'd love to hear from folks who have navigated this issue...

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Hi Mr sea otter,

I have always had trouble controlling my bladder but I have only been in diapers for a year. I have 3 children the youngest 10 and none of them know that I wear diapers and to be honest it’s not something strange I’m willing to tell them.

My suggestion would be enjoy your little one as they grow up so fast, you have a long time before you have to worry about telling your baby.

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My two young boys informed me that I needed a diaper after I showered them one at a time with me on a Saturday morning. The three older girls were informed by the boys and affirmed by me and the wife. I don't remember if it was 24/7 then, but it had to be pretty close. My youngest, I think, about 3 or 4, hadn't been out of diapers very long.

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17 hours ago, ppdude said:

My two young boys informed me that I needed a diaper after I showered them one at a time with me on a Saturday morning. The three older girls were informed by the boys and affirmed by me and the wife. I don't remember if it was 24/7 then, but it had to be pretty close. My youngest, I think, about 3 or 4, hadn't been out of diapers very long.

Not quite sure I understand your post.  When you showered your young boys, had you wet your pants, had your pants got wet from the shower and what made them make a comment like that?  Did they actually know at that time you wore diapers?  I think it would be something I would do my best to keep from my children, but I don't know if you could ever keep it totally from your kids.  Just like parents, they snoop when no one is around, and I can't see how they couldn't notice, especially when they sit on your lap.  Kids are smart, especially young ones who are not far out of diapers themselves.  They pick up on things we wouldn't expect them to.

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4 hours ago, rusty pins said:

Not quite sure I understand your post.  When you showered your young boys, had you wet your pants, had your pants got wet from the shower and what made them make a comment like that?  Did they actually know at that time you wore diapers?  I think it would be something I would do my best to keep from my children, but I don't know if you could ever keep it totally from your kids.  Just like parents, they snoop when no one is around, and I can't see how they couldn't notice, especially when they sit on your lap.  Kids are smart, especially young ones who are not far out of diapers themselves.  They pick up on things we wouldn't expect them to.

Sorry about that. Made bad assumption.

We were all naked  waiting for the water in the shower to warm up. As we waited, I started leaking and dropping a fair amount of pee on the floor. I did not realize that I was dropping pee, but they sure did. And they proclaimed it surprisingly and loudly, "Daddy's peeing all over the floor! He needs a diaper!"

I was teaching them on how to take a shower; e.g.. washing hair and soaping down, etc.

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I was also confused there, so thanks for clarifying.

I guess there just aren't a lot of people on here with kids though... I've tried asking similar questions in the past and never get much response. Or if they have kids, they never wore around the kids until they were much older. For now my plan will be to try to keep it on the down low as long as I can. I just dont know when i need to start being careful. I mean, he cant walk or talk yet, so my wife and I are not worried if he sees something at the moment. 

 

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I can’t speak from experience, however, I’d like to offer some thoughts for consideration. 

I really wonder if you can keep your need for diapers a secret indefinitely. Will you ever be traveling, camping, or doing some other activity with your child where privacy is at a minimum?  Do you ever have accidental diaper leaks that are noticeable to those around you?   Do you plan to keep your diapers and related paraphernalia securely stored in a room inaccessible to your child.  Will you ever play with your child in bed or expect your child to spontaneously jump in bed with you and his mother?  There are innumerable circumstances that could arise where you could be caught dressed in nothing but you absorbent underwear.  Even if you aren’t caught undressed, kids aren’t dumb.  They know the telltale signs of someone wearing diapers  

If such a situation does arise, how will you react?  How will you explain a long kept secret?  Will you be embarrassed, ashamed, or at a loss for words as to how to explain your need for diapers?

My feeling is that you should have a well thought out explanation as to why you need to wear diapers.  So that when you are asked you can provide a simple explanation geared to the age of your child when he/she asks.  In that way, you have some control of the situation rather than letting him wonder why you’re wearing diapers and coming up with his own explanation. You could also explain that this is something not to be discussed outside the family. 

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There is another topic about adult babies and diaper lovers with children indeed, I tried to find it but couldn’t. I have two children and they grew up with the knowledge their dad wears diapers. I never tried to hide it for all the same reasons CLR224 mentioned and then some. Nowadays they think little of it. They used to ask questions about the given fact and I simply answered them, no lies no nothing. I simply explained what it is, what is means to me in a manner they could understand, related to their age. The only question I couldn’t answer is “why”. Wearing diapers simply produces waste or laundry, it takes up space and it can be seen given the right circumstances. These for starters are things I do not have to be secretive about. For sure you can try to hide it indefinitely and one could succeed for all I know. No small task I think if you wear frequently or 24/7 like I do. Continuously hiding it will most likely requires a lot of effort and strain something I could do without.

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Thanks guys. I agree that keeping it perpetually hidden is neither realistic nor necessary. I camp, I have leaks at times, I get huge packages in the mail, I know the kid will come into bed with us etc. I don't intend to do anything really above and beyond what I do now to be discreet. I know this means I will eventually get asked or whatever. What I don't know is when that will be, or when they will be old enough to start putting things together. Is that like, age 2? Or can I expect to be easily able to keep it hidden until they are like 5 or 6?

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Mr sea otter,

thats a hard question to answer as all kids are different, if I remember rightly my children were around 4 when they became inquisitive. Even now if my youngest who is the more inquisitive asks what is in the package I just tell him something for mummy and he doesn’t ask anything more than that.

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My IC issues began when our kids were 2 & 4, they are now in college and I have yet to have "that talk" with them. Not that I have kept it truly private, but there are some things I just never show my kids- like my choice in underwear. If they were to find out, I doubt it would surprise them.I certainly would not deny it. It is what it is, and that is how I would explain it.

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21 hours ago, Mr. Sea Otter said:

Or can I expect to be easily able to keep it hidden until they are like 5 or 6?

Both my kids started to ask more detailed questions about me wearing diapers by the age of five maybe six years old.Prior to that not so much. 

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I have worn diapers in our household and around my three children for over ten years now.  The last two years I have worn them permanently and officially as far as I know, none of my children are aware that their father wears diapers.  Their ages are eight, seventeen, and nineteen.

My daughter did sign for a package of my diapers one time which typically would not be such a big deal.  However, in this case the corner of the box was busted out during shipping.  The damage allowed for a clear look inside the box and the Rearz diaper packages I had bought were completely visible.  My wife was not home at the time and I found the box sitting on the kitchen floor when I got home from work.  Other than the fact that the hole in the box made it almost impossible for me not to notice I suspect she saw what was in the box because she had taken my younger son and had him in her room.  That is something that never happens and my guess would be she saw what was in the box and provided diaper interference from her brother.  I waited for hours for my wife to pull me aside and be upset because our daughter had found out.  That never happened so apparently if my teenage daughter did find out she kept it to herself.

It certainly helps when you have a partner as they can play diaper interference to help keep your diapers hidden from your children.  There have been times especially when tired in the wee hours of the morning one of my used diapers have been left in the cupboard in our bathroom or a bag at the front door.  My wife generally scolds me when I unintentionally have these oops.

I do believe that having a parent in diapers could be confusing for a child even if you are simply incontinent.  Having a father that enjoys wearing pink diapers with princesses on them really makes things awkward should the children find out.  My wife honestly worries that are children would think differently of me of they ever found out. 

If the day comes I am prepared for the talk.  Since a child I always had bowel control issues and an overactive bladder.  This led to extreme humiliation from my stepmother and diapers became normal to me.  Basically, the honest truth now is that I am incontinent and need to wear diapers.  The details of how, or why, or that I am an ABDL sissy are irrelevant.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

Hey all,

I don't have any kids myself, but I am a very proud uncle of two of the cutest children you could imagine. Anyway, I have worried a few times when they visited, and I was wearing under my jeans. The youngest likes to sit on my lap, and I 've worried what I should do if they ever asked about it. I mean, I sure as heck don't want my brother to know. Far too many awkward questions if that were to happen.

Also, telling them that it's something private and that it's 'our secret' can lead to misunderstandings if they ever mentioned it. That's why I tried to put a pillow on my lap, on which the youngest sits. Or the oldest, depending on their mood. Anyway, should I be worried? Neither of them are in diapers anymore and haven't been for some time. The oldest (six) and the youngest (four) always surprise me with surprise visits. (I'm their neighbour.)

Kingdark

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  • 3 weeks later...

I am the proud father of four amazing children. 10, 8, 5 & 3 years old. To my knowledge and my wife's,  none of them know about my use of diapers 24/7. I routinely have diapers delivered to our home and each of them have helped carry the boxes from the front door step to our basement. They have asked what is in them which is usually followed by my response of 'Computer Parts or Car Parts' and it gets left at that. 

 

I wear appropriate fitting clothing, onesies and keep my supplies in a very nice footlocker at the foot of our bed. Using due diligence has helped us not have to go through that conversation. 

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19 hours ago, gmcchamp99 said:

I am the proud father of four amazing children. 10, 8, 5 & 3 years old. To my knowledge and my wife's,  none of them know about my use of diapers 24/7. I routinely have diapers delivered to our home and each of them have helped carry the boxes from the front door step to our basement. They have asked what is in them which is usually followed by my response of 'Computer Parts or Car Parts' and it gets left at that.I wear appropriate fitting clothing, onesies and keep my supplies in a very nice footlocker at the foot of our bed. Using due diligence has helped us not have to go through that conversation. 

If they do not know they will know sooner or later. All of my children figured it out and now some of my grandchildren have figured it out. None care and never has a big deal been made over my diapers. When I was asked I told the truth and that was good enough for them. Sooner or later one of the kids will figure it out, just know what you say will last a lifetime. The truth is normally the best. 

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13 hours ago, SoakedinTexas said:

If they do not know they will know sooner or later. All of my children figured it out and now some of my grandchildren have figured it out. None care and never has a big deal been made over my diapers. When I was asked I told the truth and that was good enough for them. Sooner or later one of the kids will figure it out, just know what you say will last a lifetime. The truth is normally the best. 

As far as I know my kids don't know - they're away at college now.  I kept things pretty much in the closet while they were growing up.  They're much more likely to find out now, and I think they'd both be accepting, after the initial surprise.  On the other hand my wife would be mortified if they found out, so I'm going to keep things hidden while they're around for her sake, as far as I'm able.  There'll still be nappies in the washing machine every couple of days though, and I'll still be well-padded, so there's every chance they'll notice at some point.

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My oldest knows, one of the I know but not suppose to know deals. We don't talk about it, she found the supplies behind the door of my bathroom. I have a pullover jacket hung behind my bathroom door the bottom closed with a zip tie the top hung on a hook. Put a house coat over it . Came home one day she was wearing the house coat, another jacket was put back on the hook to cover up the"diaper holding coat". Your gonna have slip ups like that no way around it. Just best prevent as many as you can. It's a problem not spoken of not because of embrassment but out of none of their business kind of deal. In 20 years only had to call my once to get her to run offense and throw something away no big deal. Locking drawer on the dresser helps with supplies .

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My advice is to be discreet and when the issue comes to light and in my situation it did answer their questions honestly luckily it was my wife that got asked and she handled it. she didn't need to go into elaborate detail she just told my son that yes daddy still wets his bed and she told him that just like him daddy has to wear a diaper to bed too. 

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My 17 y/o stepdaughter knows.  My incontinence was due to a back injury a few years ago, and we told her because she's usually with us on the big shopping trips and we didn't want to make separate trips just for my diapers and pullups.  My stepson (13) doesn't know because he's on the spectrum and tends to tell inappropriate details to everyone he knows, as well as complete strangers. 

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Unless your goal is to walk about the house in front of your kids in nothing but a diaper, I don't know that you really HAVE to tell them anything about your diapers or need for them.  I certainly don't talk to my kids about a need for tampons or maxi pads or my desire to be diapered because It's NONE of their business.  If there comes a time that you get discovered or NEED to share, then do so then but don't worry about it until you have to, Kind of like the sex talk you'll eventually have to have.  Don't make a big deal of it, answer only the questions they ask and be open to talk if they come back with more questions later.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I have the pleasure to have a 4 y/o little boy. He knows that I wear diapers and never has been too curious about it.

I don't hide anything from him, my fresh diapers are stored under the TV and onesies can be drying off with other clothes on the drier and I often change never so far from him. However I keep discret the fact that I wear them. The fact that he can see me changing myself or see my diaper stuffs don't bother me neither him.

For the little tale, once I came home with diaper packages that I just bought , and asked me what is it, wondering as well if those things was a gift for him. I just told him that were dady's diapers and that's all.

An other time I was going to dress up  after taken a shower and he saws me in diaper and then asked why... I told him that dady wears diaper because he has issue to pee so I have to wear diapers. First sure reassured him that it can happen to anyone and we should keep quiet from other. 

Even if he talks about it at school so what? Who really cares?

As he's still very young he does not ask me so much about. I'm not affraid to sincerely talk when time will come and I know it will.

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This brings up a thought.  If you have children, especially young children 3 and 4 years old that know you wear diapers, do you feel that it's more difficult to get them to potty train?  My thought is them saying, "If you wear diapers why can't I?" Or maybe they get stubborn on having to learn to use the potty because you don't and you still wear diapers.  I can see their point to an extent.  You are trying to get them to use the toilet and be out of diapers when you yourself still wears diapers.  At that young age around 2 or 3 years old, they can't comprehend why you may be incontinent and wear diapers.  So many kids at that age want to be like their parents.  Is it harder to get them to potty train because they know you still wear diapers yourself? 

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4 hours ago, rusty pins said:

This brings up a thought.  If you have children, especially young children 3 and 4 years old that know you wear diapers, do you feel that it's more difficult to get them to potty train?  My thought is them saying, "If you wear diapers why can't I?" Or maybe they get stubborn on having to learn to use the potty because you don't and you still wear diapers.  I can see their point to an extent.  You are trying to get them to use the toilet and be out of diapers when you yourself still wears diapers.  At that young age around 2 or 3 years old, they can't comprehend why you may be incontinent and wear diapers.  So many kids at that age want to be like their parents.  Is it harder to get them to potty train because they know you still wear diapers yourself? 

From my experience he has been potty trained not before 3 and half at night. Maybe he had been wondering why he should do effort not to wear diapers if his father still wear them. But I don't think so because he never expressed this thought. Few times he got questions but that's all. Even during that time his language was quite limited but he could make me understand his feelings. That did not happen. Lot for children are not potty trained at age 3 and it better comes at first entry at nursery school. So to me it does not really matter whether one of his parents wear diapers for genuine purpose.

Still I dot not hide but keep discret anyway.

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