What Does This Mean?

[DAQ]

So a couple months ago I thought I had it all figured out, that the time was right for me to start wearing 24/7 and start my incontinence journey. I wore for over 10 days straight in June and all but maybe 2 or 3 days in June. I came back from vacation on July 8th and was wearing 24/7 and untraining for 4 weeks straight with 1 daytime break on day 14. It started on Saturday/Sunday where I felt meh about the next diaper. By Monday morning I said "I can't stands no more" and took off my diaper. I didn't wear at work yesterday and today.

Tonight I had thoughts of wearing again at work today. I guess my question is, is this a sign? Do I need to abandon 24/7 and untraining? Have those that have untrained experienced things similar, going full bore, the backing off? A little bit of background. These have been my first experiences wearing/wetting 24/7 for any meaningful amount of time.

[dlnoir]

No I doubt it is a sign. It is just that feelings and desires change every so now and then. The best thing you can do if you were to ask me I to follow your heart’s desire. If you feel like wearing just wear and if you feel you’ll have to discontinue just quit. You do not owe anybody an explanation as it comes to wearing a diaper only to yourself. If it feels right it must be right if it doesn’t it doesn’t. It all comes down to go with the flow.

[Stroller]

I think if I were you I'd just relax about it, and just wear when I wanted to.  Nobody's making you do this, one way or the other.  Maybe it will gradually turn into wearing 24/7 and may be it won't - the trick is not to worry about it.  I ended up wearing full-time (apart from at night), but only after gradually increasing the amount of time I was wearing, doing what felt right for me at the time.  I've worn all day every day for 10 months now, and haven't wanted to stop at all.  But if I did, I'd stop.  I'm not expecting that to happen, but it might.  It would confuse my wife of course...

[rusty pins]

Sounds like you are not ready to commit to 24/7/365 for the rest of your life.  As many have said, it all sounds cool when you are in the excited diaper mood, but for some it becomes more routine after a while and the fun and enjoyment has gone out.  It becomes an everyday chore rather than an excitement to anticipate and look forwards to for some people.  Always keep in mind that you can wear as often as you want, whenever you want, 24/7/365 but you don't actually have to be incontinent to do so.  Many like the idea that once you make the decision to become incontinent, you can never go back no matter what and you have to be in diapers even if there are times when you really would rather not.  It's the idea that, "Nothing I can do about it now, and if people know I'm wearing diapers, I just have to deal with the questions and embarrassment".  On the other hand, some people can go 24/7 for months but if something comes up that would make it really inconvenient to be wearing diapers, if they lose the mood to be diapered or if they just want to give it a break for a few weeks to allow the anticipation to build up again, they have the option to do that as long as they still have control left.

[ppdude]

3 hours ago, rusty pins said:

Sounds like you are not ready to commit to 24/7/365 for the rest of your life.  As many have said, it all sounds cool when you are in the excited diaper mood, but for some it becomes more routine after a while and the fun and enjoyment has gone out.  It becomes an everyday chore rather than an excitement to anticipate and look forwards to for some people.  Always keep in mind that you can wear as often as you want, whenever you want, 24/7/365 but you don't actually have to be incontinent to do so.  Many like the idea that once you make the decision to become incontinent, you can never go back no matter what and you have to be in diapers even if there are times when you really would rather not.  It's the idea that, "Nothing I can do about it now, and if people know I'm wearing diapers, I just have to deal with the questions and embarrassment".  On the other hand, some people can go 24/7 for months but if something comes up that would make it really inconvenient to be wearing diapers, if they lose the mood to be diapered or if they just want to give it a break for a few weeks to allow the anticipation to build up again, they have the option to do that as long as they still have control left.

Yup. It can get old pretty fast. It can turn into a inconvenient chore. It's just something you have to do -- add one more thing to your list. Most of time, being diapered is great, but there are many times I wish I could take a break as it's really tough on the skin (balls and butt). Better than the alternative of "full cathed" where you never pee through natural means again. I'll take all the inconvenience any day. Be thankful you can do it. Take a break if you need to. It's OK.

[DAQ]

21 hours ago, dlnoir said:

No I doubt it is a sign. It is just that feelings and desires change every so now and then. The best thing you can do if you were to ask me I to follow your heart’s desire. If you feel like wearing just wear and if you feel you’ll have to discontinue just quit. You do not owe anybody an explanation as it comes to wearing a diaper only to yourself. If it feels right it must be right if it doesn’t it doesn’t. It all comes down to go with the flow.

I think this more than anything describes why I am so pissed. I was so certain for most of June and July that this is what I wanted. "My heart's desire" has flip flopped and done a complete 180..... but not quite. One's heart should not be able to change as quickly or often as a weather vein. I haven't worn to work for the last three days but feel compelled to wear for virtually every waking moment (and all unwaking) that I am not there.

Interestingly enough I am OK with wearing from a social standpoint. I don't feel guilty wearing in front of other people or feel the need to justify it. But at this point I want to know why I cannot answer that question to myself. I have thought for awhile now that I need to seek counseling of some sort and wondering if this is the final catalyst to finally just go. I think if I can at least understand the why I can get off the fence and jump one way or the other full tilt. 

Thank you

[dlnoir]

If I may give you some advice do not focus on the reason why, your desire to wear and most likely use diapers is simply there. Back in the days I did the same thing I tried to find out why I loved diapers so much, in the end it took me on the edge of a mental breakdown, years ago. I’ve talked to numerous therapists about my desire to wear diapers and in the end they all gave the same answer: “ If it doesn’t Harm you, if it makes you happy or in my case makes you feel complete, there is nothing wrong with it. It is simply a part of your being, as long as it is you that is in control and not the other way around”. I trust over time things will balance out and sure you will have to overcome numerous hurdles, but remember like Eido said: don't beat yourself up about it.

[Bettypooh]

@DAQ 

Humans are odd creatures- we see things which we think we want and try them, sometimes discovering there were other things attached which we hadn't noticed (or didn't give enough weight to) which changes our minds. And sometimes things which were once happy and/or exciting become dreary and boring. But we must try, because we're human.

I experienced the downsides of wearing as we all do when we go 24/7, and there was a point where I had to stop and consider whether it was the right course for me. I did need some protection but not to the level of wearing premium diapers which is what I wanted- pull-ups would do to handle the needs. What decided it for me was knowing that my appearance changed enough for it to be noticed when wearing a thicker diaper or not, and I didn't want to be exacerbating that personal issue by switching back and forth. Rather than risk unwanted discovery through variance I settled on a single appearance- diapered- and accepted whatever else came with it. For me it was the right decision; YMMV.

After that I went through a period of great happiness knowing that I was finally going where I really wanted to, but in time that happiness changed to simply being satisfied with myself in having done the right thing. There's still a small joy in me when I think about my diapers, but I rarely think about them anymore. I know for certain that it's what I want to do on a continuous basis. Not everyone will be that way. Since you can manage with or without diapers you get a choice, so choose as you will knowing that whatever you may decide it's you who will have to deal with the consequences of your decisions whatever they may be. And that if you want to start back with wearing you already know well what some of those consequences will be which will make dealing with the change easier. It's up to you to make yourself happy, so do what that takes.

Bettypooh

[oznl]

As Stroller and Bettypooh said, don't worry about it!  ABDL tendencies are complicated enough to deal with as it is without imposing metrics on yourself and constructing "failure" scenarios.  It's the journey, not the destination.  Wear as much or as little as you want.  At your age you've got buckets of time to revisit 24/7 if you want to, or not: no doors are closing.  It simply does not matter.