Jump to content
LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store

A Girl of My Choosing - UPDATED/FINISHED


Recommended Posts

Hey, folks. Sorry for those following my other stories. I've been snowed in with work lately, and I'll get back to them soon, but I had to churn this out. A sort of a therapy session, I guess. Hope you get something out of it.

* * * *

Michael flew up the stairs of the apartment complex like a prey animal scurrying for shelter. The building was cold and concrete - a far cry from the colorful playrooms prescribed to ‘adopted’ littles - and that was exactly how they liked it. Well, most littles at any rate. For Michael it was only a place to sleep, and at that moment a refuge.

He fumbled for his keys, hoping that he hadn’t lost them during the encounter. That was when the neighboring door opened to reveal Donny, a bearded recluse who reeked of booze and smoke. The aesthetic served him well, and deflected the attention of all Amazons so far; yet he still carried the weight of seeing littles who didn’t share his luck.

“My dude,” he said, resting a hand on Michael’s trembling arm. “You look like you could use a drink.”

Donny was right. Nothing short of high proof spirits could soothe his nerves. He entered the apartment, ignored the dank smell that saturated it, and collapsed on the sofa - the half without the spring sticking out of it.

On any other day Michael appeared the consummate professional, insofar as a little could pass for one. He wore crisp, gray suits with padded shoulders to give him larger stature. Since he was a teenager he did everything he could to cultivate the healthy beard he’d achieved, and at twenty five dyed his hair silver to appear older still. A touch of makeup helped as well; a dab here and there to make his features sharper, less soft, less cute.

Yet at present he was disheveled, covered in soil with his shirt hanging out, stains on his trousers, and tie lost to the ether. He leaned back to catch his breath, and happily accepted the glass of a liquid that could strip paint.

Donny sat and leaned in, eager for a story. “What happened, man? Was it Amazons?”

Michael nodded.

“Shit, man. They didn’t follow you, did they?”

He shook his head.

“So how’d you get away?” Donny asked. It was little more than a whisper. Such was sacred knowledge among littles.

The story Michael offered was sparse with details. To speak the whole truth was to shame himself, and all other littles. Nobody knew just where he went on his lunch breaks; to a carefully selected bench in the park with a view of the water, and something else. Past the trees on the other side of the square was a single story building painted in pastel pink. The sign above read in thin cursive letters ‘The Gender Clinic’.

Horror stories passed between littles about the goings on in that place, of men made children with their masculinity stripped away. Yet Michael, though he’d never admit it, was fascinated. For half an hour a day he would quietly observe, and turn away when an Amazon dragged a crying ‘sissy’ out in a satin dress and frilly socks. It wasn’t for them that Michael watched.

But every so often an event occured that made his heart leap. He’d look to the clinic, and emerging from the entrance would be a little girl clinging to her Mommy or Daddy wearing the biggest smile. Sometimes they cried - not because they were sad, but because the joy was too much for their little bodies.

Michael smiled, but it didn’t last. What little would want that? It was shameful. Besides, women, no matter what they were born as, were four times as likely to be ‘adopted’ than men. If only he could stop the nagging in his chest.

The story he told Donny started on that park bench where he was minding his own business, eating a tuna melt sandwich, when he caught the eye of a blond haired Amazon with glossy pink lips and breasts spilling out of her tank top. Not Michael’s thing, but they were impossible to avoid. She leaned down to him emphasise them all the more.

“You know that make-up is very convincing,” she cooed, “and your hair almost had me fooled. Is that a padded suit? I bet you’re a tiny little thing under all those layers.”

Michael did his best to ignore her, and chewed his sandwich with as much aggression as one could muster. Maybe she didn’t get the picture, but he didn’t want to be ‘adopted’. Few littles did. But underneath the veneer of maturity he was sweating bullets. He’d never been noticed before!

“You’ve sparked my curiosity,” the Amazon said. “I just have to see what’s underneath!” 

Before he had the sense to flee the great Amazon arm was around him, and scooped Michael to her side with no effort whatsoever. He struggled, but her grip was like iron. No amount of resistance would free him, at least at this stage.

“Please, I don’t want this,” he said, but there was no heart to it. Amazons by nature did not listen to the pleas of littles. Their need to impose ‘care’ was not one based in reason.

“You’re a good boy for not swearing,” she cooed. “I know this is hard, but trust me, you’ll be happy and safe in no time at all.”

Happy, she said, as though diapers and feedings and wettings and being made helpless wasn’t the most humiliating thing in the world. Other littles told stories to scare one another. Most had nightmares about it, Michael included.

It was no use fighting. Even if he could free himself he was claimed. She could go to the authorities and better equipped Amazons would bring him in. She had power over him now, simply because she willed it.

She carried him to the park amenities, which like all bathrooms were fitted with a changing station and a diaper dispensary. The Amazon set Michael down on the table, and pulled a strap across his arms and his chest. It didn’t constrict his breathing, but it was secure enough that he couldn’t break free.

“Now, let’s get you in a nice, clean diaper,” she sang. The Amazon flicked off his shoes and pulled down his trousers. She stopped to drink in the sight of him, and tickled his nose. “You’re going to be my sweet baby boy. My cute little man!”

The world turned ill in his stomach, for more reasons than one.

“Wait,” Michael pleaded.

“Uh uh uh. Babies don’t speak,” she said, and reached into her carry bag for an inflatable pacifier. It seemed the Amazon had left the house that morning determined to adopt someone.

“Just one thing,” Michael said, “and then you can do whatever you want. I promise.”

The Amazon huffed, but gave him the chance to speak. “Alright. Then it’s binky in. Okay?”

He nodded, and fought against the knot in his stomach. He was about to be sick, but pushed through anyway. “If I’m going to be a baby,” he said, “can I at least… be a baby... girl?”

Of all the things she expected a little to say, this the Amazon expected least. She blinked, revisiting the words in her mind to make sure that she heard them correctly. The assuredness in her voice faded.

“Why would you want to be a little girl?”

Michael winced in shame. “Because… I’m not a man. Not in my heart of hearts. I avoided being a woman so I wouldn’t get adopted but now… now there’s no reason to hold back.”

Both Amazon and little shared a pained gaze, both disappointed in the outcome. The large woman frowned more deeply than Michael would have liked, as though she were ready to dole out a spanking.

“But I wanted a little boy,” she whined.

Michael faced away. “I’m sorry.”

She considered the situation for a long moment, not at all liking her options. Michael tensed. His fate was in her hands. Worst case scenario, she would confine him to a life of little boyhood, which for him was the ultimate misery.

Finally, and after painstaking thought, the Amazon released the strap and turned her back on him. She made no effort to stop him as Michael pulled up his trousers and reclaimed his shoes.

“Go,” she said, daring not face the little, lest he saw her tears.

He opened his mouth to say something comforting but thought better of it. This was a rare opportunity - to be victim of an adoption, and then be released. Michael sprinted as fast as his legs could carry, away from the park, and away from a life of babyhood. What feelings of disappointment welled in his chest he never spoke aloud.

“So you just… ran!” Donny laughed. “Just like that! While her back was turned!”

“Guess I have to trim the beard and recolor my hair,” Michael said, taking a deep swig. He smiled as though victorious, and hoped the alcohol would still what lingered inside.

  • Like 7
Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

Oooofff Direct hit to the feels.Also a really fascinating look at gender dynamics in the diadem.   Honestly not sure if I wouldn't have turned myself over deliberately in this universe just so I could transition, or just gone with one of my plans for punching my ticket.

Link to comment

Please tell me you plan to continue this story! As a trans little, I’m fascinated by this concept, in the diaper dimension no less, and I’d really love to see where this goes! It’s well written so far so please don’t stop now! :3

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
On 8/2/2019 at 9:54 PM, Sky Hooves said:

A really great story with an unexpected twist for a diaper dimension story. I really like that!

Thank you!

On 8/3/2019 at 1:30 PM, SGTbaby said:

Very cool twist! Looking forward to more!

Thank you! Sorry for the delay!

On 8/3/2019 at 7:42 PM, kirababy said:

very interesting and creative. 

Thank you!

On 8/26/2019 at 2:56 PM, YourFNF said:

Oooofff Direct hit to the feels.Also a really fascinating look at gender dynamics in the diadem.   Honestly not sure if I wouldn't have turned myself over deliberately in this universe just so I could transition, or just gone with one of my plans for punching my ticket.

Big mood. I would have been very careful in selecting a Mommy, though. At least give me one that gives me laptop access?

On 8/26/2019 at 10:41 PM, abdlstinker said:

Please tell me you plan to continue this story! As a trans little, I’m fascinated by this concept, in the diaper dimension no less, and I’d really love to see where this goes! It’s well written so far so please don’t stop now! :3

I got a little distracted, but there is a second (and final) part coming. Thank you for enjoying so far!

On 9/8/2019 at 6:08 PM, Sarah Penguin said:

Yeah this is good hoping it's not a one-shot! :)

It was originally going to be, but popularity changed my mind.

On 9/8/2019 at 7:59 PM, Jayme said:

Please let there be more to this story. I love the concept of trans Littles and Amazonian Caretakers.

It's something I want to see more of, too. I love trans stories, I love ABDL stories, but putting them together is hard for me sometimes, and I'm not into 'sissy' stuff.

Link to comment

Michael should have been on top of the world. After all, he’d done what so few littles had ever accomplished; escaped the clutches of an Amazon, and lived to tell the tale. Yet the more he thought about it the more he spiraled into depression, until he was dragging himself through the working week, and sleeping through the weekends.

During his lunch hour he sat in the park, as per usual, but couldn’t bring himself to look at the building across the lake. To do so was like torture; watching little boys go in, and little girls come out. It was the ones who smiled that broke his heart. Why couldn’t it be him? Maybe, he thought, if he lingered outside, tried to peek in the window…

Then he heard his Mom - the little woman who’d given birth to him - screaming from the back of his memory. “Are you insane? Do you know what Amazons do to women?” The tone of her voice made him small, afraid, like nothing else could. “You’re lucky to be a boy,” she said. “Male littles have a chance to survive in this world. I won’t let you throw that away.”

Michael was twelve with his Mom was ‘adopted’. Two years later his Dad was put in diapers as well, landing him in a group home for underage littles too young for Amazon ‘care’. Being an adult, ‘surviving’ this world, was all he had left of his parents. How could he just give that up?

He leaned forward on the bench, head in hands, when a voice roused him. “Excuse me. May I sit here?”

To his surprise the voice belonged to an Amazon, easily three times his height. She smiled at Michael with ruby red lips, almost as bright as her hair. Her dress was powder blue and patterned with summer flowers. Everything about her seemed friendly and inviting, but when it came to Amazons looks were often deceiving.

“It’s a free country,” he said; whether it was true was another thing entirely.

She smoothed out her dress and lowered herself demurely onto the seat. Michael couldn’t help but notice her in profile. The woman was larger than the other Amazons, but that extra mass made room for extra warmth. Getting lost in skin so soft would have been a dream for some. She noticed him, and he looked away. Even looking at an Amazon was a dangerous game.

“Nice day,” she chirped.

Micheal shrugged.

“My name is Beth,” she said.

He forced a smile at her. “Hi.” That was all he would give her. Starve the Amazon of attention, and she would lose interest - or so went the idea.

Beth craned her neck to peer over the lake, and pursed her lips. “Interesting view you have here..."

Micheal tensed. “I like to feed the ducks,” he lied.

“They have one of those ‘feminization centres’ across the road,” Beth remarked. “Strange how there are no ‘masculinization centres’, don’t you think? That Amazons would rather make little boys into little girls rather than the other way around.”

Michael shrugged. “Can’t say I’ve ever really thought about it.”

She was teasing him, he was sure of it; searching for the cracks in his exterior. Perhaps he should run, but what would stop the great, towering woman from giving chase? He’d never escape on tiny little legs. Luck served him once, but it might not again.

Beth shrugged. “Maybe there’s something special about being a little girl,” she said. “A different kind of love, a unique kind of attention..."

“Lady, you’re not putting me in diapers, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he snapped.

She blinked with a start. “No? Then what if I put your hair in ribbons and let you play with a dolly instead?” There was no harshness to her tone, no judgement, but the words still cut to the core.

“Forget it,” he said, and slid down from the bench. He had to get as far from her as possible.

What she said next stopped him in his tracks. “Are you really going to be happy if you go home now?”

Ice ran through his veins. Leaving meant another lonely night in bed, hiding his tears.

With long but slow strides Beth came up beside him and knelt down in the grass. She took the man’s tiny hand in hers, and stroked it gently. “I’ve been watching you,” she said. “You must be in so much pain. Imagine, having a little girl locked inside of you; never seen, never touched."

His muscles wound tight. Fists curled into balls of despair. It was everything he could do to hold the tears back.

“You... you can’t..."

“I only want to give that little girl the love she deserves,” she said. “That’s all any Amazon wants, though we sometimes have a strange way of showing it. We don’t just see your tiny bodies, but little hearts aching the be nurtured, like yours.”

Images and sensations spilled through his mind; the dresses, the ribbons, the dolls. Sure, he still liked his robots and trucks, but it was the absence of the things he wasn’t allowed that hurt the most. To have that, and to be acknowledged, was more than he could bear.

He shook his head. “No..."

Beth tilted her head. “No?”

“No,” he said again with conviction. Even if it was hard, he had to be a man.

“I’m afraid you don’t have much of a choice,” Beth said. “I’ve been watching you for some time, and it just won’t do for you to beat yourself up another day. We’re taking you to the Gender Center across the street, but it would be much better if you chose this yourself.”

He winced, and looked away. Then the realization dawned on him. “You... you’ve been watching me?”

Beth smiled. “Even since my friend Marie told me about you,” she explained. “She was so heartbroken not to have a little boy of her own. But the more we talked about it, the more we realized we couldn’t leave a desperate little alone, and I certainly wouldn’t mind a darling daughter, no matter how she was born.”

The word struck like a hammer. ‘Daughter’. It was all he’d ever wanted. Ugly tears came spilling from his cheeks, and wouldn’t stop.

Beth stood, and held his hand tight. “Come on. Let’s get you straightened out, sweet girl.”

Michael followed, despite his better judgement. Then again, this was a long time coming.

* * * *

The starting process was faster than Michael could have imagined. No sooner than he and Beth were in the door than it seemed he was being escorted into another room. As the nurse scooped him up Beth grew further and further away. He whined through tears.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” she called. “Mommy will be watching from the next room, okay?”

‘Mommy,’ she said; that’s what she was now. It wasn’t a word he’d used since being an actual child. To give it to someone at this stage in his life felt heavy.

Michael fought to sit still while the nurse stripped the layers of his clothing. He seemed nice enough, but being naked in front of another man, especially an Amazon, was more than he could handle. First went the jacket and tie, then his shoes and socks. The nurse wrenched his trousers down, and popped up the buttons of his shirt, leaving Michael in his jockey shorts. They two were removed from him, leaving the hairy little man naked in the examining room.

The nurse smiled at him, and patted him on the bottom in a way that was supposed to be assuring. “It’s alright, little one,” he cooed. “Nobody’s going to hurt you. I just need you to spread your arms and stand still for a few moments.”

He did as he was told, and tensed as he revealed himself. The room was cozy, but Michael was unaccustomed to air blowing over his body. Then he stopped to realize that he would not be Michael for very much longer. It was a small relief, even if the alternative scared the life out of him.

A wide, red beam projected from the eye of a machine ran down the length of his body while another did the same from behind. Michael giggled and fidgeted as it roamed, and only after a moment did he realize that it singed away every hair on his body from the face down.

When it was done he clasped his body, ran his hands down his chest, arms and legs, as well as his crotch, and then at last his face. All were completely smooth; smoother than he ever remembered them being. Smooth like...

The nurse attended him with a blanket and lifted the naked little into his arms. “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Micheal shook his head. His skin felt amazing, and he couldn’t keep his hands off himself.

“For this next part I need you to be a brave little girl. Can you do that for me?”

He looked at the nearby window, and true to her word Beth was on the other side, with Michael’s wallet sitting open. She scanned the contents of a clipboard and copied details from Michael’s now-former identification. It was official, he thought; there was no escaping adoption this time.

The nurse sat him down and ran an alcohol pad across the base of Michael’s penis. The little squirmed. He was as hard as a rock, and couldn’t hide the fact.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” the Nurse said, and produced a small needle. “I know this looks scary, but this is going to help you get rid of those yucky boy feelings. Can you be strong for me, princess?”

Anxiety twisted in his gut, but Michael nodded. To resist would have meant restraints, or worse. If he was going to have this life, he wanted it to be as simple as possible.

He didn’t so much as feel the needle as he did its effects. Almost right away he became soft, perhaps even softer than he’d ever been. What had the nurse given him?

“Some little girls get new princess parts on their third or fourth visit,” the nurse explained, “but most are happy to keep their outties, so long as they don’t get in the way. Doesn’t that feel better already?”

Michael shivered. Though he hated to admit it, he loved feeling so vulnerable. Being called ‘princess’ was even better, and made his heart leap.

The nurse reached for a small jar, and removed the cap. “This part is a bit itchy,” he explained, “but it’ll make you feel so nice. Boy skin is so rough and flaky. This will make you soft, like littles are supposed to be.”

He was right; the jelly itched like nothing else. Michael tried to scratch, but his hands were guided back by the overly patient nurse. Fortunately it didn’t last for very long. When the jelly had done its job the nurse took some wipes and ran it down every corner of Michael’s body. With it he removed dark layers caked with dirt, revealing clean fatty flesh beneath.

“It’s... it just like-”

“A baby’s?” the nurse laughed. “Yes, little one. That’s the idea.”

Michael’s hands combed over his body, every inch from head to toe. He couldn’t believe it, or the way his skin was so thirsty for touch and sensation. Was this what it was to be a little girl?

“Now it’s time for your first diaper,” the nurse said, “but I guess we should let your Mommy have that honor.”

“Mommy,” he echoed. That’s what Beth was now, he supposed. The word tasted funny in his mouth, but he may as well use it.

The door opened, and through it entered the Amazon to whom he now belonged. She beamed with pride, and leaned down to where the soon-to-be-former-boy was sat. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, enough that Michael himself melted. How was it possible that someone he’d just met loved him so much?

“It’s official,” she said. “You’re my baby girl. All we need is to give you a name.”

“Would you care to diaper your little one, ma’am?” the nurse asked.

She practically jumped for joy, and reached for a fresh garment from a nearby pile. Grabbing the little by both feet she lifted Michael’s tush, and set it down on the paddling. She pried his legs apart, then liberally applied the powder. After that set to work on the tapes.

“Mommy?” Michael asked, making her heart skip a beat.

“Yes, little one?”

The little’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment and excitement. “Can... can my name be Alicia?”

Beth started with a blink, and smiled even brighter. “Yes, of course, little one! That’s who you’ll be from now on. My beautiful daughter, Alicia.”

She lifted the baby into her arms, supporting her padded behind with one hand and stroking the girl’s back with the other. Beth’s skin was just like the little had imagined; warm and soft, like home.

Thus, on that day, little Alicia was born.

* * * *

After three months in Mommy Beth’s care, Alicia’s old life seemed like a bad dream. No more suits, no more ties, no more sitting in cubicles and reciting the company motto; in their place were bright colors - green, orange and purple - soft toys, catchy songs, and most important of all, the love of a Mommy who only cared about her happiness. Sure, the diapers were a bit much, but after a while Alicia stopped thinking about it. They were just a part of life.

Mommy’s friend Maria was visiting that day. She was the same Amazon who once tried to claim ‘Michael’ as her own. She considered the little, sitting in her high chair while pulling apart a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Once the little girl wore the veneer of adult, but was now getting muck everywhere without a care in the world.

“She really does seem happier as a girl,” Maria sighed.

Beth sat beside the high chair, snatched the little girl’s attention, and wiped her cheeks with a cheery smile. “That’s because it’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it, little one?”

Alicia nodded with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, and chewed loudly on her bread. She beamed and kicked happily when her Mummy stood again, and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Those kisses spread over the little girl’s body with a warmth and affection she was fast getting used to.

Later that day, after Alicia was changed into a clean diaper and pinafore dress, Beth took her for a walk around the suburbs. She loaded the baby into the stroller, fed her a pacifier, and placed her favorite doll, Cindy, into her ams. The little one kicked idly to show that all was right with the world.

It was around nap time when the pair passed by an old grey building with levels short enough for a little to scale. Alicia roused and lifted her head, noticing a bearded little on the top level breathing smoke into the atmosphere. Though it took her a moment to register, the girl recognized the place for what it was.

She pulled the pacifier from her lips. “Mommy..."

Beth frowned. “You’re not supposed to take that out, sweetheart.”

“No, Mommy. It’s important,” the little one said, and pointed to the building. “That used to be my house.”

The Amazon paused to consider the building. How cold and uncaring it was; one bedroom ‘apartments’ closer resembling prison cells. To think that littles chose to live like this when they could have a home filled with a mother’s love.

Alicia leaned forward in the stroller, pressing against the restraints and waving toward the man peering over the ledge. “Donny! Donny, it’s me!”

The scruffy little, still dressed in his bathrobe and an old t-shirt, lowered his cigarette and turned at the sound of his voice. There was no recognition at first, but then it clicked. Could it have been...

“It’s me!” Alicia cried. “I found my Mommy!” she explained. “I’m happy now!”

In the world of littles, ‘finding a Mommy’ was not an ending ever dreamed about, nor was it considered a happy one. Yet to look on the little girl’s face Donny couldn’t help but smirk with satisfaction.

“Good for you, my dude!” he called back. Good that one little could find happiness in this damned world.

Beth squatted in front of the stroller and stroked her daughter’s cheek. Every so often she would look upon her with questioning in her eyes. “Are you really happy like this, my darling?”

Alicia beamed with tears in her eyes. The emotions were too big for her body to contain.

“More than anything, Mommy!”

And so it was that an Amazon and little came together and live happily ever after.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
1 hour ago, zatchie said:

Sooo frickin great! I loved the ending! I'm glad she could find her happiness.

I am too. I've been wanting to do the sequel for a while. The first part was me letting some sads out, but I'm also a sucker for a happy ending.

11 minutes ago, Josiesol1 said:

Short sweet and lovely thank you for making me feel warm and full of hope. It's rare when trans people are represented and just all around you made me feel represented. thank you

I'm glad I could help. I write trans characters into nearly everything I do, so don't worry.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...