diaper dimension Done Adulting, Vol. 2 (Final chapter posted 12/21/20)

[the diaper mike]

 Oh my God this is getting really good I really want to make sure Ella's okay

[Sarah Penguin]

19 hours ago, Author_Alex said:

Waahhh?

 

*offers you a hug*

[Alex Bridges]

On 8/5/2019 at 5:40 PM, Sarah Penguin said:

*offers you a hug*

This is why we can't nice have things!

*accepts your hugs; gives up on ever having nice things*

[Sarah Penguin]

8 minutes ago, Author_Alex said:

This is why we can't have things!

*accepts your hugs; gives up on ever having nice things*

But you have a nice thing in waiting - just telll your mom about your book to accept her my son's an author with a great big book on amazon good thing!

[Alex Bridges]

7 minutes ago, Sarah Penguin said:

But you have a nice thing in waiting - just telll your mom about your book to accept her my son's an author with a great big book on amazon good thing!

If I die first, she'll figure it out when the royalties start going to her

[Jayme]

I do hope Ella's family is smart and lets Stacy work with the both of them!

[Alex Bridges]

On 8/7/2019 at 5:20 AM, Jayme said:

I do hope Ella's family is smart and lets Stacy work with the both of them!

Me too!

I’m thinking, if I were a parent, how would I respond. I’d fight giants to get my daughter back, but I don’t know what I’d do if my daughter wants to be with them.

I’m not sure yet what Ella wants.

[Alex Bridges]

Chapter 14

 

 

Becky chose not to go. Manda had offered, and Becky turned her down. She wanted to give Jamie and her this time alone. She’d already sat under the stars with Manda, and she wanted it to be just as special for Jamie as it had been for her. So the Manda and Becky walked away from the bungalow at twilight and made a left at the water away from the lights.

The sand was cool, almost cold, underfoot without the sun. The moon was new, leaving them to find their way in the dark, the white foam of the surf edging out a path they couldn’t get lost on.

“How far do you think we need to walk,” Jamie asked.

“It’s another mile to where the park starts. It’s pretty dark there. We’ll be able to see so many stars.”

“I miss night time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not out much or even awake much at night. Especially in the summer. I get too tired to stay up. I used to be more of a night person. I liked that other face of the world.”

“Hmm.” Amanda didn’t know what to do about that. Jamie got sleepy early and got cranky if he missed his bedtime by too much. He stayed up sometimes, but they were careful with it. Jamie had taken a longer than normal nap that day so he could stay awake for this.

They kept walking in silence. Amanda wore a backpack with a blanket in it, water, a jacket for each of them, and a change for Jamie if he needed it. At first, Amanda hadn’t liked having to take more stuff with her everywhere she went. Now she didn’t feel ready to go anywhere without it, and deep down it made her feel warm inside, like she took care of Jamie by being prepared to take care of Jamie, remembering his things, even the little ones like a baggie of snacks or bottle of water, things he didn’t really need but that showed she thought of his every need and made him feel special, safe, and looked after.

“I think this is far enough,” Amanda announced. Jamie stopped. The sun was clinging to the horizon. Amanda laid out the blanket. Jamie straightened the corners. They sat down and watched the sun sink into the ocean, setting the waves on fire.

“I’m glad we got to come,” Jamie said.

“Me too. Sorry for the rough start.”

“Meh.”

“It was nice of you to build a sandcastle with Davis and Chelsea.”

“I didn’t mind playing with her, at least not for an hour. I just didn’t want to be a teaching tool for the week. Davis was helpful, too. Sweet kid when he’s not trying to impress girls.”

“He was pretty good with his sister.”

“How come Mom didn’t wanna come?”

“She ran to the pharmacy to get you something for tomorrow.”

“What?”

“Something to help you sleep through the flight.”

“Good.” He was nervous about flying again.

“You been worried about that?”

“A little.”

“Hopefully it’ll be a smooth flight.”

“Are you ready to be home,” he asked.

“Yes and no. I do miss Kazoo.”

“He’s gonna piddle all over the floor when we get home.”

“Without doubt. You’d think he’d have outgrown that by now.”

“I can’t judge him,” Jamie joked as he laid back on the blanket. “The stars are coming out.” Amanda laid down next to him and put her arm under his head.

“Do you know anything about the constellations,” he asked her.

“Sure. See that one right there?”

“Um, maybe?”

“Follow my finger. See? That’s Serafina, goddess of flowers.”

“What are some others?”

“Uh, hoo. Been a while. Oh! See those four? That’s the Square of Francesco.”

“Did you just make that up?”

“Yes,” Amanda giggled. She just knew the one. “We learned them in school when I was real little. I never could pick them out.”

“Me neither. Ours, I mean, in our sky. Never saw many anyway, living in the city.” Jamie got quiet for a minute. “There should be one for us,” Jamie said.

“What do you mean?”

“A constellation. A Jamie Bear and a Manda Bear and a Mama Bear. The three of us. Up there forever.”

Amanda turned to look at him in the starlight. The weak light shone off a teardrop. “Jamie? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He turned onto his side, put his head on her breast and one leg and arm over her. He sniffled. Amanda knew what was wrong. It had hung over the entire trip, even though they tried not to let it. “I like this,” Jamie said. “Touching you.” Amanda stroked his hair.

“You sweet boy.” She lifted him so he all the way on top of her and pulled the blanket over them.

“I’m ready to help,” Jamie said.

“With what?”

“With the move. You finding a place. Getting you ready. I’m ready to, ya know, participate.”

“Baby Bear,” she said as she picked her head up to kiss him.

“You’re calling me that more often.”

“Am I?”

“Am I your Jamie Bear still, too?”

“Yes.” A tear ran down her cheek as her breath caught and her voice grew weak. “And you always will be.”

“I know this is hard for you, too. And it will be for Mom. She doesn’t say it, but it is. It has to be. We have to take care of her, too.”

“We will. You been thinking about this a lot?”

“I tried not to, but ... That never works or helps. What do you think it will be like?”

“What?”

“Your apartment.”

“Oh, well, first we’ll make sure you get your room set up just the way you want it. You can pick out all your own stuff. New crib. New chair. New changing table. You can decorate everything how you want. And in the other rooms, too, you can help decorate. It’s both our home.”

“Can Kazoo spend the night sometimes?”

“Yeah. I’ve been looking at places that allow dogs.”

“You’ve been looking already?”

“Some. But we’ll make the final choice together.”

“Where are you looking? Close ... or far?”

“Near school. Close enough to walk.”

“Hmm.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Just a different part of town. But change is ... well, that’s life, isn’t it? Guess I didn’t think there’d be much change here. Kinda figured my life would be pretty much constant from then on. But that was naïve.”

“Not so much will change.”

“We’ve never been apart a whole day before.”

“I know ...”

“If it wasn’t for you ...” Jamie sighed. “I don’t know how everything would have turned out.”

“Fine. It would’ve turned out fine, because you’re such a strong person, and because Mom loves you.” They lay in each other’s arms in silence for a few minutes.

“And another thing,” Jamie said. “I’m sorry I’ve been so jealous of the men in your life. I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone.”

“I like that you’re jealous sometimes, Jamie Bear. It lets me know I’m important.”

“Sometimes, heh,” he chuckled, “sometimes it’s feels like you’re my little sister. You are younger than me, after all. And ...” he sighed. “You’re growing up. You have grown up. Guess I never fully understood how hard it is for parents, older siblings.”

“You are so sweet,” she admired. Who wouldn’t adore a little who thought of himself as the big brother?

“Maybe I don’t need a crib,” Jamie said. “At your house, I mean.”

“You want a bed instead?” She wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but she knew Becky wouldn’t like it. That was a talk they hadn’t had yet, keeping his routine and the rules consistent between their households

“No. I meant I’d just sleep like this. With you.” He snuggled in tighter.

“Mmm. Most nights you can … Why are you ready now?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you ready to participate now?”

“Because it’s just time. I did the pouty little thing for a while, then the denial thing. It’s happening ... you’ll still be home sometimes, too, though, right? I mean, at our house?”

“I’ll be over all the time.”

“I mean sleeping over. Like Harvest Day, Christmas.” Jamie didn’t like the idea of Manda’s room not being her room anymore.

“Definitely. I wouldn’t miss seeing Santa with you for anything.”

“And maybe we can have a weekly thing we always do together, all three of us.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Breakfast one weekend morning a week.”

“I like that idea.” They laid quietly for a while more. It was getting chilly.

“How will it work?”

“What?”

“What days I’ll be at your house and what days I’ll at home?”

“They’re both your home. And we don’t know yet. We wanted to figure that out together, the three of us.”

“I have an idea. Might be too much work, though.”

“What?”

“Every other night. Mom picks me up from daycare for the night and drops me off in the morning, you pick me up the next day.”

“Why do you like that?”

“Because then we still see each other every day. I don’t want to go a whole week without seeing you.”

“Hmm. We’ll talk to Mom about it.”

“We need to take care of her. She’s gonna be real sad. She’d be sad anyway, her daughter moving out. I don’t like the idea of her waking up in an empty house.”

“Me neither,” Manda said. But she knew it was just a part of life for both of them. “We’ll take good care of her. The both of us.”

“Good.”

“Let’s look at more stars and just enjoy the last night of our trip, Hmm?” She put her arms around him under the blanket.

“Good idea,” Jamie said. He left his head on Manda’s chest and closed his eyes.

“Ya can’t see ‘em like that, silly Bear.”

“I know. I just like this more than all the stars.”

[Mee]

Huh, started writing this after finishing chapter 14, which you finished 14 minutes ago... Spooky. Great stuff, though! It's always fun to read something with a different take on the DD, whether that be through a unique setting/approach, or you just make the situation more human, I suppose. It's fun to see the development, then look back on how far the character has actually come. Diaper content is fun, sure, but I tend to like the approach where the story is really supported by its themes and characters. The whole mix of it gives substance, really. Regardless, some of the stuff I read in here makes me jealous! Think I could steal some of your universe rules? (i.e. 36hr days)

Look forward to reading more!

[Alex Bridges]

54 minutes ago, Mee said:

some of the stuff I read in here makes me jealous!

Me too!

[SGTbaby]

Love the love between them. So sweet and refreshing. The move will be interesting and definitely a good thing for development but also just exploring. I look forward to more!!

[Alex Bridges]

14 minutes ago, SGTbaby said:

Love the love between them. So sweet and refreshing. The move will be interesting and definitely a good thing for development but also just exploring. I look forward to more!!

The move is killing me! It’s like a divorce with the whole shared custody/two homes stuff.

I just want Manda to stay, but she can’t. She has to grow up, and it sucks, and I should know: I did it!

[SGTbaby]

On 8/8/2019 at 10:05 PM, Author_Alex said:

The move is killing me! It’s like a divorce with the whole shared custody/two homes stuff.

I just want Manda to stay, but she can’t. She has to grow up, and it sucks, and I should know: I did it!

Growing up does suck...all the adults things are not really fun, but I like Jamie’s suggestion of every other night. But that could get confusing sometimes. I look forward to more though!

[Alex Bridges]

Chapter 15

 

Ella was suspicious when Stacy picked her up off the floor out of the blue. It wasn’t dinner time. It wasn’t movie time, when they often snuggled on the couch together. It wasn’t nap time, either. Stacy sat down on the couch, sat Ella on her lap, and Stacy tried not to be nervous.

Stacy had been mentally preparing for this all week, since the letter had come back through her attorney. Ella’s parents wanted to see her, in person, and they would work with Stacy to make that happen and go from there. All morning Stacy had given herself a pep talk, remembering what the psychologist said, re-reading her notes. What to say, what not to say. What Ella might say. What Ella might do. Might.

“What’s up,” Ella asked. “Got a business trip coming up?” Stacy traveled for work just once or twice a year.

“No, there’s something else I need to talk to you about.” Stacy paused.

“Okay...”

“First, you know I love you. More than anything. And that I’ll never let anything happen to you.” This had come out a lot smoother when she was rehearsing it with the psychologist.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Yes, there is. Just tell me. You’re scaring me.”

Stacy looked away, her mind blank, getting ready to finally say it. She turned back to Ella. “The Department of Little Services made a mistake in a records request. They sent your information to the embassy of your home country by mistake.”

“Alright ...” So some diplomat had her information. Why was that a big deal?

“And the embassy forwarded that information on to your family. They know you’re in Itali.” Stacy watched for a reaction.

Ella’s lips turn down at the corners. Her face became cloudy. Her brow slowly furrowed. Her shoulders seemed to droop. She seemed to get smaller. Not fear. Not anger. Something else. Something more elemental.

“Ella? Do you understand what I ...”

“Hhhh!” Ella sobbed hard, just once, and sucked in air. Her chest felt tight. Her head felt light. Stacy patted her back and moved Ella to her shoulder. She could feel her little heart beating so fast.

“Take a breath, Ella. C’mon. We’re gonna get through this.”

“Hhhh!”

“Another.”

Ella began to breathe regularly, then fast, then too fast. Stacy moved her hand toward her pocket where she had a diazepam pen just in case. Ella found her breath first and wailed.

“A heart wrenching sound. A lamentation. Ella wailed, and Stacy didn’t shush her. She sobbed, and Stacy let her. She didn’t understand. She had never understood.

Ella cried until she’d exhausted herself and slumped against Stacy, her diaphragm cramped and her sinuses draining. So many thoughts sprinted through her mind she couldn’t single them out. A blur of emotions and wants and what-ifs.

It had been an hour and felt like an age.

“Ella,” Stacy tried. She didn’t answer. Stacy stood and carried the limp little to the kitchen, where made Ella a glass of water and let her drink. Ella stared into the middle distance. She just couldn’t do more than that yet. She drank fast. Stacy wetted a paper towel and wiped off Ella’s face.

“Ella, please say something.”

“I need a tissue,” Ella said first. Stacy handed her another paper towel, and Ella blew her nose. “Thank you.”

“Can you tell me what you’re thinking?”

“I ... this ... they must be ... I don’t know what they must be. This ruins ... all over again.”

“What’s ‘all over again?’”

“Losing me.”

“I don’t ...”

“Like they found me. And I’m still here. It must be like losing me all over again ... I wish you hadn’t told me,” Ella added quietly. “Why did you tell me that,” she said louder. “Why?” It was like an accusation.

“They,” Stacy sighed. “They want to come here.”

Ella’s eyes went blank.

“What do you want, Ella? That’s what’s important.”

“I wanna go to bed.” It was only mid-afternoon.

“Okay. Okay. We can do that.”

Stacy tucked Ella in and promised to come check on her. She slowly slumped to the floor with her back against the wall right outside the door. She heard Ella crying again, and it hurt that Ella would want to cry alone and not with her. She wanted to go back in but didn’t.

She knew she’d need to tell Becky and Amanda since they’d be watching her. She took out her phone and texted Becky. I decided to take a couple days off and won’t need you to watch Ella until the middle of the week. Let’s talk before then. Hope your trip was good.

[Little Andrea]

Poor Ella, this is going to be hard for her.

[SGTbaby]

I look forward to this conversation and how things go! Glad for the update!

[Alex Bridges]

 

 

______________________________

 

Chapter 16

 

“Home again, home again,” Becky sang as she pulled into the garage. She got out and opened the passenger door to help Jamie down. “How are you feeling, Baby Bear?”

Jamie sighed. “Pretty good. Those pills were, uh, strong.” She’d given him something to help him sleep through the entire flight, and he didn’t remember much from when they got to their gate until he woke up in baggage claim. It was a dreamless, still sleep. “What are you doing,” Becky had asked when Amanda poked Jamie in the side on the plane.

“Making sure he’s still alive.”

“Still sleepy,” Becky asked as she picked Jamie up.

“No, just still waking up.”

“I know what’ll wake you up,” Amanda said as she opened the door. Becky followed her in and put Jamie on his feet. They heard the sound of doggy feet trying to gain traction on the hardwood floor, and Kazoo burst out of the hallway and went straight for Jamie, who sat down on the floor to receive his puppy, all lolling tongue and wagging butt.

“Did you miss me,” Jamie asked as he scratched Kazoo behind his ears. “Was you a good boy? Hmm? Was you a good boy for Amy?”

Becky shook her head gently, thinking how funny it was that Jamie talked to Kazoo exactly how so many people had talked to him, to his dismay. She stepped around Jamie, who had upended his dog and was rubbing its belly.

“Manda, where’d you go,” Becky called out.

Amanda appeared in the hallway with a handful of paper towels. “What is it you always say about cleaning, Mom? ‘Just clean as you go?’” Amanda knelt down to wipe up more drops of puppy piddle.

“Yeah, but I think I was talking about the dishes,” Becky replied. Amanda smiled back and turned her attention to Jamie.

“Hey!” Jamie looked up, surprised. “What’re you doing to my puppy?”

“He’s my puppy,” Jamie said back with a smile. “Aren’t you? Yes, you are!”

Still on all fours, Amanda scurried toward them. Kazoo eagerly twisted himself around and got on his feet. Amanda made a show of planting her palms loudly on the floor in front of her. Kazoo did the same. Amanda did it again, and Kazoo jumped up and rushed toward her. She rushed toward him, sweeping him in front of her and gently knocking Jamie over in the process so all three were on the floor in a pile.

Becky took a picture with her phone.

“Who’s a good boy,” Amanda asked.

“Me,” Jamie replied with a laugh.

“You? Then I should be giving you this belly rub!” She put her hand under Jamie’s shirt and started lightly tickling his belly, making him giggle.

“So we’re unloading the car later then,” Becky surmised. No one heard her. She sighed and walked across the room to seat herself on the floor next to the pile.

“Home again home again,” she said quietly as she reached over and picked up Kazoo to scratch his head.

“Anyone hungry,” Becky asked. She was. She had meant to go to the store before they left but hadn’t gotten to it.

“Do we have anything,” Amanda asked.

“Nope.”

“I’ll go,” Amanda volunteered as she sat up. Jamie did the same.

“Thanks.” Amanda went to get her keys.

“Now what,” Jamie asked as he scooted over to Becky and leaned against her, reaching over to pet his dog.

“How about a real quick bath for both of us. I have airplane on me,” Becky said.

“Good idea.”

“C’mon,” Becky said as she set Kazoo down and stood up.

Amanda found them in the bathroom but stayed in the hall. “I’ll be back in like an hour.”

“Okay,” Becky replied as she poured water over Jamie’s head. “Thanks again”

“I can’t wait to see Ella,” Jamie said absentmindedly.

“She’ll be over midweek.”

“Not tomorrow?”

“Stacy decided to take a few days off work.”

“Oh,” Jamie said, disappointed. “Well, maybe we could have a play date before then.” It was hard for Jamie to not get to see Ella every day.

“I’ll ask,” Becky said. He wished Ella lived closer. “How about we go to the park tomorrow? Get some lunch after? Maybe go shopping or something?”

“Sure.”

 

 

______________________________

 

 

Across town, Stacy decided to let the lawyer explain it all to Ella. She tried to rehearse what she would say, but she had a hard enough time grasping it herself. She decided to go to the attorney’s office and let him do it. Ella listened.

“So you’re saying,” Ella asked, “that what I want may not matter? That I can be taken away again whether I want to be or not?”

“That could happen, yes,” the attorney answered.

Ella shook her head and sighed. “You fucking people,” she muttered.

“I’m sorry,” the lawyer asked, not hearing her clearly.

“You. Fucking. People,” Ella spit back clearly. She hopped off her chair. “Your whole goddamn dimension and your whole goddamn species and your constant fucking bullshit!” She was pacing back and forth. “You know nothing about us! You treat us like fucking animals or children. You have no clue how our minds work or how our bodies work. You just assume we’re not as smart or good or capable as you. And why? Because we’re not as big! Land of the giant fucking tyrants. How can you treat us this way!”

“Honey,” Stacy tried to gently interrupt her.

“You stole my life! I had a family! I had friends! I was happy! I had a life planned! I was gonna get married one day! I was gonna have kids! I was gonna be an artist! And look!!! Look what they did to me!” Ella stretched out her arms and turned them over to show her scars. “Look! They mutilated me! And now you’re telling me that your fucking courts can just declare that in eight years - eight fucking years - that I’ve never exercised my own judgment? That I’m incapable of it and take away everything I have? Well, who questions your judgment? You and your whole goddamn planet of monsters and thieves who can’t get it through your fucking heads that we’re people, too! Well, fuck you!”

She ran out of steam. She dropped her hands to the side and cried slowly, out of breath. The lawyer looked away, embarrassed. Stacy got down on her knees and approached Ella.

“Honey,” Stacy said as she tried to put her arms around her.

“No,” Ella said weakly.

“Honey, c’mere,” Stacy tried again. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that,” Ella said weakly again as she let Stacy pick her up and hug her close.

“I’ll give you two a minute,” the lawyer said and excused himself.

“How can they do this,” Ella asked. “How can they keep treating me like this?”

“I don’t know.”

“I just want them to leave me alone. Everything was fine the way it was ... I thought it was over.”

Home had been life. Aidu had been a nightmare. Itali was not the life she’d wanted but the life she’d been able to carve out for herself to find something like happiness. Where was she now?

“I want Jamie,” Ella said. “Now.”

“Okay. Let’s go.” Stacy started to stand up.

“I can walk,” Ella said.

 

 

Becky opened the door and was surprised to see Stacy and Ella. “Sta ...”

“I’m sorry,” Stacy cut her off.

“Is Jamie in his room,” Ella asked and didn’t wait for an answer.

“Yes, he’s asleep,” Becky answered as she watched Ella walk under her arm.

“I’m sorry,” Stacy said again.

“What’s wrong,” Becky asked.

“Everything,” Stacy said.

“Come in,” Becky said.

“Jamie,” Ella said after she’d closed the door to his room. “Stupid fucking crib,” she muttered as she approached it. “Bars between me and the other humans. How’s that for a fucking metaphor?”

She reached up to put her hand through the bars but couldn’t reach high enough. “Jamie!” That jolted him awake.

“What!” He looked and didn’t see anybody.

“Hi,” Ella said. He peered over the edge.

“Ella! What are you doing here?”

“I needed to see you.”

“Let me call ...”

“No. No bigs.”

“Oh. Okay. Uh, I haven’t done this in a while.” Jamie went to the corner of the corner crib, pulled himself to the top, and carefully pivoted his hips over so he was sitting on the rail. Slowly, he turned, and grasping the top rail he lowered himself down so his feet were almost touching the platform his mattress rested on. Hand under hand, he lowered himself so he was standing on the platform and kept lowered himself until he was a few inches from the floor. He dropped the rest of the way.

They studied each other before either one spoke. “Why’ve you been crying,” Jamie asked.

Instead of answering, she took Jamie by the wrist and pulled him toward his recliner. They sat in it together. Ella put her head on Jamie’s chest. “Everything is a mess,” Ella said. She told him everything.

Jamie sat silently and listened. He wasn’t sure what to say. He had questions, but he didn’t want to ask them. He didn’t want to offer advice. He knew Ella wasn’t looking for advice, and probably didn’t have answers to his questions yet.

“I’m so tired of this place,” Ella said after they’d sat quietly. “All these bigs … I was fine; I was happy until six days ago.”

“And now,” Jamie asked.

“Now,” she sighed, “Now I feel like a rescue all over again. All these decisions that could be made for me. All these … it’s been years since I thought about whether I was right to stay. Now I’m wondering if I should’ve … I liked my life until six days ago. I was happy, and they took that away from me again. It’s like I’ll never be safe here, never have a life they can’t strip away.”

In the living room, Stacy explained it all to Becky. “How can we help,” Becky asked.

“I don’t know. I just want to make this all go away.”

“Does Ella …,” Becky stopped herself from finishing her question.

“Does Ella want to see her family, is what you were going to say,” Stacy said. “I don’t know. She hasn’t said. I don’t know if she knows how she feels. She’s angry, I know that. Her first thought was how this must’ve affected her parents.”

“What do you think she wants,” Becky asked.

“To stay, I think. To stay. I hope. She’s … she’s all I have. They can’t take her away.” Becky reached over to put her arm around Stacy.

“It sounds like her parents are being cooperative so far,” Becky said, trying to bring it around to the dimly bright side. “That’s something.”

“What if she wants to go home with them? What if she chooses them over me? When she sees them, what if it changes everything?”

 

 

 

[SGTbaby]

So many question, scenarios and fun to be had in upcoming chapters...ooh so excited!

[Shygoodgirl]

Poor Ella, she been thru so much and now they want to ruin her happiness.

Sent from my Z983 using Tapatalk

[the diaper mike]

 Awesome chapters I feel bad for Ella

[Alex Bridges]

Chapter 17

 

         “Are they just gonna sit there all day,” Amanda asked as she looked out through the breezeway at Jamie and Ella. They were in the sandbox, treating it like a beach. “It’s sad.”

“Well, they are sad,” Mel said in response.

“So how do we snap them out of it? I mean, this whole thing could go on for months. They can’t just mope the entire time.”

Mel shrugged. “Get back in a normal routine? What would you be doing if all this wasn’t going on?”

“Probably be at the park.”

“So let’s take them to the park.”

Neither Ella nor Jamie were in a park kind of mood, but they weren’t doing anything else and getting out of the house seemed like it would maybe help.

“You doing okay, El” Amanda asked part way. It was a long walk for her. “You sure you don’t wanna ride?” They brought both strollers just in case.

“I’m sure,” Ella said. Part of her was determined to be more independent than she had been of late, though she knew that was only her wanting to be. It had no bearing on any of the stuff going on in her life. She was just wanting to prove, only to herself, that she could do things on her own, so she took a bath on her own, she dressed herself, she changed herself, not every day but on a few since the visit to the attorney’s office, and Stacy wasn’t sure what to think. She knew Ella could do all those things. But what did it mean that she suddenly was after so much time letting Stacy take care of her? Was she trying to assert independence, and if so, to what end? Stacy felt so uneasy she didn’t ask.

Ella knew Stacy was having a hard time. She wanted to help Stacy through it, but she was so confused as to her own feelings she didn’t think she could yet. Ella wanted to stay, or thought she did, but she wanted something else, and she wasn’t sure what. The prospect of seeing her family had her not excited exactly, but impatient. She tried to recall all the reasons she’d stayed in the first place, and now they seemed insufficient. If she wound back the clock, she believed now she’d have gone home when she was physically ready, but that was before, back when Stacy was just a person who helped take care of her as she recovered. And way before Jamie.

They walked past the tennis courts near the entrance and along the paved path to the playground. The city had finally put in a dedicated bike path, so they no longer had dodge out of cyclists yelling, “On your left” as they took their time meandering up the path.

“How come you guys don’t have bikes,” Mel asked.

Jamie shrugged. “Becky never got me one, and it never occurred to me to ask.”

“Same,” Ella said.

Mel furrowed her brow, thinking. “You don’t even have a bike,” she said to Manda. “I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you ride a bike.”

“Sure you have,” Amanda replied.

“When?”

“At the … thing, that one time. You know … the one I’m talking about?” Amanda was blushing. Jamie looked at her doubtfully.

“Do you know how to ride a bike, Manda,” Jamie asked.

“Well, not exactly. I mean, I probably could if I tried.”

“How did you never learn to ride a bike,” Mel asked. “And how did I not know that about you?”

“I just didn’t.” Becky took her training wheels off, and there the bike sat until it was too small, and then it was given to charity.

“Maybe you could learn this summer,” Ella suggested.

“I’ll teach you,” Jamie volunteered.

“And I’ll help,” Mel offered.

“But … okay,” Amanda said. She had a feeling there was no wiggling out of it. Did they know if you fall off you hit the ground? “You guys wanna go play,” Amanda asked by way of changing the subject.

“I need to sit for a bit,” Ella said.

“I’ll sit with you,” Jamie said.

“No,” Ella countered him, “go play tag. I’ll watch you.” The four of them headed over to the big field where a veritable herd of littles were playing tag. A few recognized Jamie and waved.

“Can I take my shirt off,” Jamie asked.

“Yes,” Ella said testily. “You’re an adult. Just take if off.” Jamie sheepishly did. She raised a good point. Why had it occurred to him to ask, and why didn’t it bother him that he did?

“Want help onto the bench,” Mel asked.

“Yes, thank you,” Ella said and let Mel help her up. It was high, and she was tired. She watched Jamie run and play. She didn’t want to play so much as she wanted to be able to. She figured she could, just only for a few minutes. What kept her out of the game more was fear that she’d get hurt if someone ran into her. But she liked watching him work up a sweat.

“Think he’ll ever get tired of playing tag,” Amanda asked.

“No, and it keeps him in shape for other things.” Amanda blushed. She thought of Ella as like a girlfriend sometimes, but she also thought of her as a little and Jamie as her brother, so while she was fine with the two of them as lovers, she didn’t need to hear about it.

“Like what,” Mel asked.

“Swimming,” Amanda said at the same time that Ella said, “Sex.” She was feeling unfiltered, driven by the same impulse she had to be more independent lately. Enough not saying or doing what she wanted to say and do because she was a little. She was in a truth-telling mood, even if it was too much information.

“Excuse me,” Mel said, looking shocked. She looked at Amanda, who blushed again and turned back to the game, figuring if Ella was gonna open that door she could be the one to shut it, too.

         “What,” Ella said, “where do you think littles come from?”

         “Yeah,” Mel said, “but …”

         Ella waved her handed up and down in front of herself. “Grown woman, remember?” She wasn’t upset with Mel. She just said it plain.

         “Does …”

         “Becky know,” Ella finished the question. “No, but Stacy does, and so does Amanda, not that we need anyone’s permission.”

         “I … I know,” Mel said. “I just never thought of Jamie that way.”

         “As an adult?”

         “No. I know that. I just, well, I guess I never thought of him as sexual.” Ella knew, though, that while Mel saw Jamie and her as adults, she saw them as adult littles.

         “And we appreciate your discretion,” Ella said with a smile. “Becky would probably cry for a week, poor, naive thing.”

Mel laughed. “I won’t say a word.” Amanda wanted any excuse to walk away. She thought about going to talk with some of the moms under the tree, but the Brunhildas – that’s what she and Becky had taken to calling the small subset of snobby little moms who came to the park – were there, too, including the original who had been the first to teach Becky that some people were prejudiced against unregressed littles.

Amanda looked at Ella and then back at the Brunhildas. She hated them. She hated them for disliking Jamie. She hated them for having taught her mom that people hold that prejudice. She hated them for generally being stuck up snobs. She hated that they wouldn’t let Jamie play with their littles except at tag when there were a lot of other littles there, like he was going to infect their minds if he was alone with them. She looked at Ella, and she hated the Brunhildas for thinking the same way about her as they did about Jamie. She hated them for thinking unregressed littles like Ella belonged in countries where they were mistreated.

“Ella, do you wanna go pick a fight,” Amanda asked impulsively. It would certainly make me feel better. Maybe it would make Ella feel better, too.

“Huh,” Ella said. Mel was confused, too.

“See those four moms over there in the middle, the ones in such good shape it’s obvious they don’t have jobs to go to?”

Ella and Mel leaned over to see. “Yeah?”

“They don’t like Jamie,” Amanda said.

“They don’t?”

“No. They don’t like Jamie, and they don’t like unregressed littles.”

“Okay,” Ella said. “But why would I want to pick a fight with them?”

“Because fuck them and their bullshit.”

“Um, okay,” Ella said again. Mel was shaking her head and trying to get Amanda to respond. What the hell was she thinking?

“They think that unregressed littles belong in countries where they get treated liked things, and I think we should go ruin their day, just because,” Amanda said. “Wanna come?” Ella’s face clouded over.

“Manda,” Mel said, trying to snap her out of it.

“It’s cool,” Amanda said. It was?

“Yes, let’s do it,” Ella said.

“Can I carry you?”

“Yeah,” Ella said as she held up her arms without taking her eyes off the group. Amanda picked her up and walked over casually with Mel following, certain the stress of the situation had gone to Manda’s head. Amanda walked right into their personal space and pretended to watch the game.

“Jamie sure is on fire today,” Amanda said loudly.

Ella looked from Amanda to the field and the field to the foursome. “He always is.”

“Do you think he’ll ever lose,” Amanda asked.

“Maybe if he ever stops cheating,” the original Brunhilda said. Jane had only scared her away for a few weeks, but she did put a stop to her snide remarks, at least until now when Amanda deliberately provoked one.

Amanda shrugged. “He’s a little. They’re all littles. Seems like he’s following the rules to me. ‘Littles only,’ right? That’s the rule to be in the game?”

“He’s unregressed,” another one said. “Why does he even play? Why is he even here?”

“Well, you know your little has a standing invitation to come play with Jamie whenever. As for why he’s here, because he wants to be, just like your little.”

“Why did you even come over here,” Original Brunhilda asked rhetorically. Fair question, Amanda thought.

“Why not? I have a right to. Jamie has a right to play. He gets to be in Itali just like your littles.”

“But he’s not like our littles,” one of them said. “There are other countries for littles like him.”

Ella went from curiously watching the exchange and wondering where it was going to being incensed. “What countries would those be,” she angrily asked.

“She’s not regressed either,” Amanda informed them.

“Then she doesn’t belong either.” Mel felt like she should do or say something, but she didn’t know what. It wasn’t like Mel to be speechless.

“And what country do I belong in?” She turned over her arms. Everyone in Itali knew where scars like those came from. “Huh?” The foursome shut up. “Nothing to say now? Afraid of me?” They went to collect their littles. “Fuck you, you goddamn cowards!” Ella lapsed into silence, and though Mel noticed the eyes of fifteen other bigs on them, neither Amanda nor Ella seemed to.

“Fucking bigs,” Ella muttered.

“Maybe you made them think,” Amanda said.

“I’d settle for having ruined their afternoon.” Petty, she knew, but better than nothing.

“Um, do you feel any better,” Mel ventured.

“A little.”

“Better than sitting at home, though,” Amanda asked.

“Yeah. Can you put me down now?” Amanda put her on her feet. “I wanna walk around a little.”

“Okay.”

“Can I come with you,” Mel asked. Maybe Amanda was good with her wandering on her own, but Mel at least wanted to make sure she was alright.

“Sure.” They walked toward the playground.

“Are, uh, you okay,” Mel asked.

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure? I … I have no idea what Amanda was thinking.”

“Probably that yelling at a bunch of asshole bigs would cheer me up. Certainly didn’t hurt. Not like I didn’t know those people existed.”

“And you’re okay with … I’ve never seen you show people before, on purpose. I thought you … kinda didn’t want to.” Hence Ella so frequently wearing long dresses, to hide the scars on her legs.

Ella shrugged. “I’m not,” she thought on the word, “ashamed of them. Or at least not of how I got them. Just not something I advertise, that’s all.”

Mel fought the urge to pick Ella up. Who wouldn’t want to pick up a sad little? And while she may have without permission from Ella not very long ago, Amanda had told her Ella, and to a lesser extent Jamie, didn’t want that right now. They wanted their bodily autonomy to be more explicitly respected. Amanda – and Stacy and Becky – figured that as things calmed down, even if they weren’t resolved, that, too, would go back to normal, but until then they were all asking permission for pretty much everything, and not asking at all if it didn’t seem like whatever it was wasn’t necessary. Ella didn’t need to be picked up, so Mel didn’t ask.

Ella decided to sit down against a tree in the shade, and Mel decided to give her some distance – she hadn’t asked her to come along, after all – and sat on a bench nearby where she could see Ella.

Ella turned her wrists over again, sighed, and turned them back. She wasn’t ashamed of how she got them. She’d never used them as props in an argument before, and she didn’t plan on it again, but telling those bigs to go fuck themselves had been a nice outlet for some frustration, though a brief one. She only hid her scars because she thought they were unattractive.

She put her head against the tree. The sound of gentle sobbing made her pick it back up. Walking toward her and not looking where she was going was a little with tears flowing, and behind her, not far, was a young woman with an empty stroller.

“Hey,” Ella said before the little could bump into her. The little stopped, and the woman stopped. The little looked up and changed course. “No,” Ella said, “C’mere. It’s okay. I won’t bite. Come sit with me.” The little sniffled and shuffled toward Ella.

“Sit,” Ella said, “Keep me company.” She sat. “I’m Ella.”

“I’m Sarina,” the girl said. The woman sat down next to Mel, who turned and saw Ella with the girl. They watched.

“That’s a very pretty name. Very pretty. Is that your big there,” Ella asked, indicating the woman.

“Yes.”

“Why is she all the way back there?”

“Because I asked her to.”

“Sarina, will you tell me what’s wrong? Maybe I can help.”

“I just got here.”

“To Itali?”

“I’m scared.”

“Oh, I bet you are. You know what helps when I’m scared?”

“What?”

“I think of the things that I like and the things I’m thankful for. Is there anything you like so far?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Can I tell you some things that make me happy?”

[ozziebee]

Beautiful.

Daily dose of Jamie? Tick!

[Alex Bridges]

25 minutes ago, ozziebee said:

Beautiful.

Daily dose of Jamie? Tick!

For you or for Ella? ?

[SGTbaby]

Great way to turn her circumstances to a positive one with the new little. I think that is great and helping someone will help Ella. I think maybe that will help her with her situation as well. I look forward more as always

[DiaperBoyy]

? amazing as always! ?