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Alex Bridges

Done Adulting, Vol. 2 (Ch. 90 posted 2/15/20)

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Chapter 89

 

Jamie and Ella wandered off soon after getting to the pool and dragged a lounge chair to a more private spot. They were still in the open for anyone to see, but they could talk without being overheard. It felt like ages since they’d been together, Ella going to daycare during and after the move to keep things easier on Becky. Laying on their backs with a tee shirt over their eyes to block the sun, even with sunglasses, they held hands. Becky kept an eye on them from a distance.

“How have you been getting on,” Jamie asked her first.

“Things feel normal again. They wrote me, and I wrote them back, but you know how it takes time for mail to go back and forth.”

“I kind of like that in some ways. Takes the immediacy out of it. Makes writing more special. It’s a lost art ... No one saves texts for posterity.”

“Stacy offered to get an inter-dimensional email account. I turned her down. Not worth the money. I don’t wanna talk to them that often.” Jamie could certainly understand that.

“You gotta come over to the apartment soon. Offer is still open for you to paint the wall in my area.”

“I’m still thinking about what I would paint. How do you like it there?”

“I like it. It feels a little different over there, just the two of us. Sorta like having a sleepover, but I guess that’ll change as time goes on. Been a little intense, too.”

That didn’t surprise Ella. She assumed from the beginning Jamie would have a difficult time not seeing both his bigs everyday. Ella could relate to a point; she didn’t want to go entire days without seeing Stacy. But her relationship with Stacy was different than Jamie’s was with his bigs. Ella chose Stacy originally as the best of a bad set of options. She never chose to be a little, and she never thought of their relationship as being like a traditional big’s and little’s. 

Watching Jamie over four years, his relationships with Becky and Amanda closely resembled a traditional big and little relationship. It wasn’t exactly the same, but Ella recognized the same emotional dependence, to a degree, in Jamie that she saw in regressed littles and the same need for physical affection. Jamie hung on his bigs, and he seemed to do it more that summer than he had before.

Ella understood why, or thought she did: the emotional upheaval of the summer. Jamie’s clingyness seemed especially pronounced since Ella’s family left, as though he’d held it together for Ella until they were gone and now he needed to be taken care of, and he let Becky and Amanda know that by being at their side or being held by them almost constantly. Ella didn’t mind. She wanted Jamie to have whatever he needed to be happy, and she liked that he had come to embrace his littlehood, gotten past trying to maintain a facade, even to himself, that he wasn’t a little. To big, he was and always had been a little. To himself, Jamie was just and adult in a little’s situation at first; it took time for him to accept that if hadn’t always been a little the way big think, he was now. That was the way Ella thought of him.

“Has it been hard for you,” she asked.

“Some. I haven’t told them ... I told Mel. It’s just different ... We have our rituals every day, time we always spent alone like bedtime reading or Mom feeding me.” He shrugged. “Miss having that every day.” Jamie caught his own words and reminded himself he had gone just two nights without Becky. “It’s only been a day and a half without seeing both of them. I’m sure it’ll get easier, but I just wish it hadn’t changed ... Maybe Mom can sell the house and move in next door to Manda.”

She reached over and put her other hand on top of his. “I think it will get easier. Why haven’t you told them you’re struggling with it?”

“Because there’s nothing they can do to make it better, and because they’re both dealing with the change, too ... I think Manda has it easiest out of all of us. For her it’s an exciting new step. She was a little freaked out by it, but I think she’s getting past that. Mom is ... I don’t know. She never lets on when she’s feeling sad. Doesn’t want us to take that on ... I asked her to, and she asked me to do the same, but ... I guess we’re not as good at communicating as we like to think.”

“I think you should just tell them. That’s what they’re here for, to help you ... maybe you sharing will encourage them to share.”

“Maybe ... Sometimes I feel like sharing just keeps the wound fresh. I’ll have to think about it.”

“I’m always happy to talk to them with you.”

“I know,” he said, turning to give her a kiss. “I do have some other news, but we’re not telling Becky, at least not yet.”

“I won’t tell.”

“Yesterday and the day before, Manda and I were working on potty training.”

“Really? Whose idea was that?”

“Hers. She said she’d been thinking about it for a while and felt bad that I never really got a choice, so she asked if I want to.”

“And you said yes, obviously.”

“Yeah. I guess I just want the choice again, but maybe even more just to prove to myself I still can. Won’t make much difference in my daily life except when I’m at the apartment, but I just wanted to do it so I could, I don’t know, be a little more independent.”

“Why do you want to be more independent?” He didn’t seem to her like he had put any effort into that in years.

“I don’t know exactly. Maybe just because I ... I don’t know. An ego thing, I guess.”

“Well, how’s it going?”

“Did you try at all to regain continence when you got here,” he asked.

“No. Scans showed the nerve tissue was just completely missing. All I did was pelvic therapy to help with muscle tone and flow.”

“Even though you can’t feel it?”

“The muscles still contract when I go. I can feel that. I can move them voluntarily. I just can’t make them work for emptying myself.”

“So how did the therapy help?”

“Stronger muscles means better flow means fewer bladder infections.”

“Oh. I’ve had a couple of those since I got here.”

“Easy for it to happen when you’re in diapers for everything ... You didn’t answer my question. How’s the training going?”

“So-so. I think. I’m really not sure. If I go sit on the potty...” Ella interrupted with giggling. “What?”

“Sitting on ‘the potty?’ Just cute to hear you put it like that. Like Jamie’s ready to be a big boy.”

“I am a big boy,” he playfully defended himself. “I even have pull-ups.”

“Did you sing, ‘I’m a big kid now’ when you first got them on?”

“In my head,” Jamie admitted with a blush.

“I would’ve, too ... Sorry, you were saying?”

“If I go sit on the potty after I wake up, I can go. Other times, I’ve only managed a couple times to make it. Either I think I need to go and don’t, or I can’t hold it long enough to make it from wherever I am to the bathroom. So it’s harder than I thought it would be ... Harder than Manda thought, too. She thought we could do most of it by the end of the weekend.”

“You doing kegels and reverse kegels?”

“Is that what they had you doing in the therapy?”

“That and other stuff. You have used those muscles much in years. They’re weak ... Your bladder is probably smaller, too.”

“Well, I know I can. Just harder than I thought ... It’ll be harder when I’m only spending two days there next week. I tried earlier today holding it before using my diaper, but that’s even harder. Like my brain doesn’t known I’m supposed to try to wait when I’m wearing these. I just don’t notice ... Feel kinda stupid about it, actually.”

“Don’t get discouraged yet. It has only been a couple days ... Is the plan to tell Becky when you’re totally trained?”

“Maybe. I think Manda thinks we’ll tell her then, but I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think she’ll let you out of diapers?” Ella liked Becky, but Becky’s blind spots about littles kept her from liking her as much as she liked Amanda or as much as Jamie liked Stacy.

“I really don’t care if she does or not. I’m more worried about her reaction to Manda deciding to do this. I think Mom’ll be pretty pissed. I know would be.”

“Why?”

“Because the moment Manda has me to herself, she makes this big decision about me that, honestly, I can see being something they should decide together. It feels dishonest.”

“Well, you should decide for yourself, not either of them for you together or separately.”

“I know, but you know what I mean. Feels ... underhanded ... And I really don’t care. Being in diapers when I’m with Mom or out in public is fine with me. Especially with daycare being around the corner again. Can’t show up there in pull-ups without Mom finding out anyway ... The whole thing just seems symbolic.”

“Well, if you don’t tell your mom then it is. Not saying that’s a bad thing. You did kinda say it was more of an ego thing or just proving to yourself you could.”

“Yeah ... One thing I do like is the pull-ups. They’re very comfy with the really stretchy waistband. Wish diapers had that.”

“Some do, I think. I think I’ve seen diapers with stretchy waists advertised on TV.”

“Hmmm. Might ask Mom to look into that ... Tell you what I don’t like, and sorry if this too much information, but pooping in a training potty is gross.” 

“Yeah, that is definitely too much information.” 

“Sorry.”

“Ya Wanna keep talking or go cool off,” she asked. “I’m getting hot.”

“Me too.”

They each stood up and took each other’s hand again to walk to the little pool. The pool was busy, but they found a section of wall to lean against. Jamie cast a glance over his shoulder at Becky and Manda.

“Mom has been really affectionate since the move. More playful. I think she’s trying to make up for Manda not being there.”

“Do you like that?”

“Yeah ... I never ... Little kids wrestle with their parents, right? I didn’t get to. Even with Mrs. Vilalba; she was too old. Anyway, it’s a little different with her than with Amanda. I like it ... And I would miss not getting to roughhouse except when I’m with Manda. I like to get the energy out.”

“I’ll wrestle with you more,” Ella said. “Sucks not seeing you for more than a week.”

“We’ll be together most of next week. Two days at Manda’s, too. We can christen that bed.”

“Hehehe. I gotta confess I’m glad summer is almost over. More time for us to be together.”

“I’m looking forward to it, too. And I think everything will feel normal again for me, then, too. Back in a regular routine, not making it up as we go each day.”

“There’s a new teacher who replaced Jean,” Ella said. Ella was glad to see Jean leave. Jamie would’ve been to if he’d been there for her last day.  No one tried harder than Jean, but she never could understand Ella or Jamie and how they were different from the regressed littles.

“What’s she like?”

“Different than the others. She’s on a probationary period. We’ll see if she lasts.”

“How is she different?”

“A lot more hands on. I keep waiting for her to just run out of steam.”

“She bug you?”

“She got the same lecture about me as they all do, but Carrie did have to finally tell her to stop trying to get me to join in with everything she tries to do. I tried to be polite about it, and I did stuff sometimes, but I finally asked Carrie to say something. I wasn’t getting through, what a surprise.” It frustrated her when bigs couldn’t grasp a concept when she said it but got it when another big said it. It frustrated Jamie, too, and it had taken him months to learn not to lash out when it happened. He still sometimes wanted to and had to remind himself to breathe through it. Becky and Manda could get angry on his behalf.

“What did Carrie say?”

“That I’m not regressed - which she knew - and that her always trying to get me to participate like I’m a sad little duckling who needs a friend to encourage her to join the flock was inappropriate.”

“Yeah. If anyone is a sad little duckling ...” Jamie began to say.

“It’s you. Definitely. She may drive you nuts, but Diane has a meeting about you scheduled.”

“How do you know?”

“She has that meeting every year. It’s on the board in the office ... I wandered in there to get away from a singalong.”

“Guess it’s lunch time,” Jamie said as he saw Amanda walking toward them.

Talking with Ella always helped. He hoped she felt the same about talking with him. It always seemed to him that he relied more on her for emotional support than she did on him, and he hoped she didn’t think he didn’t reciprocate enough. He could never tell if that was just his insecurity talking to him. 

But talking to her did make him rethink how the past few days had gone. He was sure now that he had erred in not being more open with Amanda and Becky. He needed to say so, not because it would make everything better but because that’s what they were there for. That’s what they wanted him to do. They’d understand, and it wouldn’t fix the new facts of his life, but just their understanding would make him feel better. As for them, they did always say him trusting them with his inner thoughts and feelings made them feel like the best people in the world, just because he trusted them. 

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Excellent, I am glad to get to see Ella again. In a way Ella acts as a foil to Becky. She brings out the more articulate, more mature -and to my mind more fun to read- version of Jamie. The more "adult" version I suppose. I also appreciate how you can write such a deep undercurrent of emotion in a scene without straying into the realm of heavy handedness. I suppose the chapters that more prominently feature the Ella and Jamie scenes are my preferred. Thank-you for the chapter, as always it was a pleasure to read.

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9 out of 10 teddy bear babysitters treat unregressed little differently *nodsnods* They should hire teddy bears. :)

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Love that relationship development with Jamie and Ella! Very appropriate with Valentine’s Day coming up.

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I agree Jamie and Ella are lucky to have each other to chat with and explore with, I think it definitely adds a different dimension to your story not always seen in the other dimension stories

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On 2/12/2020 at 9:30 PM, Shotgun Diplomat said:

Excellent, I am glad to get to see Ella again. In a way Ella acts as a foil to Becky. She brings out the more articulate, more mature -and to my mind more fun to read- version of Jamie. The more "adult" version I suppose. I also appreciate how you can write such a deep undercurrent of emotion in a scene without straying into the realm of heavy handedness. I suppose the chapters that more prominently feature the Ella and Jamie scenes are my preferred. Thank-you for the chapter, as always it was a pleasure to read.

I agree!! I truly think Ella is my favorite character for those reasons! 

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Chapter 90

 

 

         Amanda put Jamie to bed an two hours after dinner, a little earlier than she usually did, but her seemed tired and hadn’t objected. They did story time while she fed him his night time bottle, and she laid with him until he seemed to be asleep before she eased herself off the bed and went back to the living room.

She went to bed about two and a half hours later. It was tricky putting him down without waking him, and it trickier getting back in bed without waking him. He slept pretty soundly, and she took the precaution of changing into her pajamas in the bathroom, but it was getting into the bed that she worried would wake him. She wasn’t sure if sharing a bed would become problematic because of that.

“Manda,” Jamie asked as she lifted the covers and tried to slide in.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “Go back to sleep.” She was halfway into the motion of rolling to her right side so she could be the big spoon.

“I was awake.”

“Still? Can’t you sleep?”

“I was thinking.” She frowned. Not often but sometimes Jamie would need to have a middle-of-the-night conversation, the most recent being when he’d asked her if she wanted a second little. She wished he could have these conversations during the day, or at least not when it was almost tomorrow, but she would never put him off. It was part of their unofficial deal. When either needed to talk about something serious, the other put aside whatever they were doing. She also understood that some conversations are easier to have in the dark.

“What about, buddy?” She ran her hand down his side to his thigh. He always liked that, and she hoped she could put his mind at ease and get him sleeping quickly. She pulled him closer and laid an arm around him, her hand brushing his diaper cover. “Long as we’re up,” she said and brought her hand back around to his butt. “Have you been sitting in a dirty diaper this whole time?”

“For a bit.”

“You should’ve called for me.” She rolled over and turned the lamp on. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He sat up and held his arms out, and she picked him up off the bed to lay him on the changing table. She wondered if there was a way to squeeze the table into the bathroom. She didn’t like changing diapers in her bedroom, especially the dirty ones. He’d grown used to it in his nursery, but she’d rather keep those smells in the bathroom.

He looked awfully sleepy when she laid him back. She leaned forward to kiss his forehead and traced her fingers from his cheeks to his toes. “Goodness, you got some cold toesies.” He always has cold feet at night but didn’t like to sleep with socks on. In the cold months he’d wear his sleepers, though.

She put the tub of wipes next to his leg and untaped his diaper. “Is your tummy feeling okay,” she asked, “You don’t usually go at night.”

“It’s fine,” he said. His eyelids were half down.

“You should come tell me if you have an accident even if it’s after bedtime, Jamie,” she said as she started to clean him off. “Especially this kind. Did you know you had dirty pants?”

“Yeah,” he said. She hoped he wasn’t upset about it and that it wasn’t why he was still awake.

“Is that why you’re still awake?”

“No.”

“We cream your butt pretty good, but you shouldn’t be in it all night long.” He almost never had a messy bottom at night. Neither she nor Becky ever checked him for it at night because it was so rare. A shart in his sleep was one thing; they might not discover that until undressing him for his bath. This was more than that. “I wouldn’t have been upset if you came and told me.” She quickly added, “And I’m not upset now.” She didn’t want him to think she was ever upset by accidents, and she wasn’t upset he hadn’t come and told her after bed. They hadn’t discussed that. If he had an accident and knew it and didn’t come tell her for two hours during the day, she would be cross.

“I know,” he said.

Amanda balled up the older diaper and unfolded a new one. She spread cream again on his bottom thoroughly and sprinkled a dash of powder into the diaper. She concluded years ago that powder didn’t do anything to protect his skin, at least not inside his diaper. It helped with chafing inside his thighs in summer, but really, so far as she could tell, it’s only purpose was to make him smell better. She sealed the diaper tight and tossed the diaper cover in the direction of his overnight bag. “Hold on, buddy. Stay awake for me,” she said as she took the used diaper to the bathroom to throw it in the pail and wash her hands.

He was sitting up when she returned. She picked him up onto her shoulder and put her arms under his butt for support. With her other hand, she slowly ran her nails over his shoulders. Like he always did, he shuddered when she reached the small of his back. She sat down on the bed and laid herself down with him on top of her, his legs straddling her so his feet were by her hips and his face rested against her chest “So tell me what you were thinking about.”

“I was thinking ...” He didn’t want to disappoint her, but he’d promised to tell the truth at the very outset. He’d been thinking about this much of the day, and his conversation with Ella had laid bare that he didn’t know why he said yes to potty training. “I don’t wanna do this anymore.”

“Of course. That’s why we’re trying so hard to potty train.”

“No, I mean I don’t wanna potty train anymore. I’m ... I don’t wanna.” Amanda was silent for a moment, and Jamie was worried he’d disappointed her. Maybe there was more to why she’d offered to potty train him than just the reasons she’d said. Maybe she was tired of changing diapers.

 Amanda was surprised. Everything considered, it had been a good three days of trying, slower than she had envisioned, but he’d made progress. He hadn’t seemed nearly as excited about his successes than she had been, but Jamie wasn’t never what anyone would call excitable.

“We can do whatever you want, Jamie. Anything. But would you tell me why? Because if it’s because it’s been hard, I don’t want you to quit just because you’re discouraged. You can, but I want you to sleep on it.” He managed to make it to the potty after they got home from the pool, the first such time when he peed in the potty without having just gotten out of bed or sat on the thing for minutes and minutes. Perhaps he felt differently, but it had been better than yesterday.

“No,” he replied. “I just ...” He sighed and stopped.

“You can say it,” she encouraged him. She kept moving her fingernails on his back, just the very tips.

“I know I can do it ... I did good today.”

“Very good.”

“I guess that’s all I wanted. Just to prove to myself I can if I want.”

“But you really don’t want to?”

“I thought I did. I don’t. I want things to stay like they were.”

“You don’t want out of diapers after all?”

“No.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“I just … I want … ” He shifted himself as though trying to snuggle in deeper. Jamie didn’t know exactly how to say it. Partly, he was growing more uncomfortable with the dishonesty, but there was something more elemental to it than that. “I wear diapers,” he said.

She thought she felt heat rise in his face, his cheek pressed against her. She didn’t understand. That was a statement of fact, not an explanation of the fact. “Could you try to tell me what that means?”

There was a way of putting it that flashed through his mind, but he was embarrassed to say it. It sounded like what Becky would have said if he’d ever asked her why he wore diapers. He’d wouldn’t have liked that answer, but having thought it over since the afternoon, it made sense; a different kind of sense than maybe Becky would’ve meant, but it made sense to him now. “I can learn to go to the potty again,” Jamie said, “but …” He paused and felt ridiculous saying this, but he continued, “Jamie wears diapers.”

Amanda hadn’t expected that answer at all. It sounded liked something her mom would say and that she’d roll her eyes at. Jamie’s reference to himself in the third person brought some clarity to it, though, as she could see the contrast he was drawing. “He doesn’t have to if he don’t want to,” she reminded him.

He didn’t respond to her, but instead said, “It’s how you and Mom show you love me.” He cringed, glad he couldn’t see Manda’s face right then. He hoped that wasn’t selfish. Keeping him in diapers was expensive and required a lot of unpleasant work. He liked that love, but he didn’t want to ask for it if they didn’t want to give it. Becky clearly did. He thought Manda did as well, maybe not as much as their mother but still willing if he were willing to accept it. But there was still the suspicion that she was just tired of changing diapers and wiping butts.  “And,” he said, “going along with it, kinda, is because I love you, too.”

There; he’d said it. She’d been right four years ago; being placed back in diapers helped him to see how much they loved him and how much he could depend on and trust them. That he went along with it back then was a sign of trust; that he still went along with it was a sign not of the weakness he’d wanted to prove he didn’t have but of the love he did have, for them and for himself.

Sometime in the past, the role he’d been playing had become the person he was. He didn’t know when that happened or why it hadn’t become apparent to him since then. Now, that particular trapping of littlehood he’d detested so much his first days in Itali was a part of his identity, a part of what made Jamie Jamie and what made him different than Eric. Jamie wore diapers; come to think of it, Jamie had always worn diapers, from the very first moment he’d been called by that name to the first time he said he liked that name to whenever it was that he began to think of it not as a name but as who he was.

 “Please don’t be angry,” Jamie said.

Amanda blinked against those words and rolled to her side so she could see into his eyes and he could see into hers.

“I’m not angry, Jamie. I want whatever you want. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy. I like having the choice and I like knowing I could do it if I want to. I just like this, too.”

“You like it more.”

“Mhmm.”

“Did I pressure you?”

“No. Sometimes I just don’t know what I want. I thought I did, but I don’t care if diapers are for babies.”

“They’re a not for babies, silly. They’re for Jamie Bears like you.” He would always be her Jamie Bear. She wouldn’t love him any more or less for what he wore or the care he needed. If diapers were part of who Jamie was, then she loved them. If he felt loved when she took care of him that way, then she wanted to take care of him that way all the more. If letting her do that was one of his ways of telling her he loved her, then taking care of him that way was something dear to her.

She wondered if maybe her mother understood that, perhaps deep down where even she didn’t realize, and that was why she could never bring herself to entertain the idea that Jamie didn’t need diapers. In turn, Amanda wondered if she needed to rethink her own idea of what it meant for Jamie to need diapers. Perhaps he didn’t, ultimately, need them physically, but now she understood he did need them to be himself, his happy self.

“Can we go to sleep now,” Jamie asked through a yawn.

She reached her hand over to turn the light off, pulled the covers over them, and crossed her arm back over Jamie.

“I like you any way you wanna be. I might call you diaper butt from now on, though.”

“Manda,” he whined with a giggle.

“I’m only teasing. Close your eyes. It’ll be morning before you know it.”

“Night.”

“Goodnight.”

“Love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Satisfied that he’d solve his puzzle and that Amanda wasn’t upset with him, Jamie was asleep within minutes. Amanda tilted her head to look at her little boy. “Mom’s right,” she whispered, “You’re perfect the way you are.”

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For university and work I don't have time to read, but I'm glad to give myself a little time to read these last two chapters, Chapter 90 is I think, the best chapter you have done so far, by the way there is something that I  I've been asking, what is the correct pronunciation of Ella's full name?

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47 minutes ago, Renly said:

For university and work I don't have time to read, but I'm glad to give myself a little time to read these last two chapters, Chapter 90 is I think, the best chapter you have done so far, by the way there is something that I  I've been asking, what is the correct pronunciation of Ella's full name?

Ellafaire as in a fair, or fairy tale.

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Yay!

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I am always happy to see an update from you. This was a particularly interesting update. Jamie giving up the attempt at potty training because he feels torn is excellent. I really appreciate how write him and his language.This story entire makes me smile, so I thank-you for giving me a Sunday morning smile. Cheers 

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I knew Jamie wouldn’t potty train. But besides feeling clever for predicting the outcome of those events, that was an amazing chapter. I love it when we get a glimpse into Jamie’s mind.

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I knew giving up on potty training was the eventual outcome, but I didn’t know why Jamie would do that until I started writing the chapter.

 

21 hours ago, Alex Bridges said:

Perhaps he didn’t, ultimately, need them physically, but now she understood he did need them to be himself, his happy self.


I suspect this is how many of us feel. It’s certainly how I’ve come to understand it. It is a need for me, not just a want or fetish. I’m happier in diapers. I’ve been 24/7 outside of work and a couple other settings for almost two years now (I didn't start it deliberately; it just happened), and I get a little anxious when I have to choose to wear something else.

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If you're looking for something different to read today, I wrote a new chapter to "You're Never Too Old" for the time in months. A good, long read.

 

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how much longer will you be working on this? i love it and don't want it to ever end ❤️

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46 minutes ago, elfenlied said:

how much longer will you be working on this? i love it and don't want it to ever end ❤️

Thank you.

I don’t have an ending for this I mind, so it will keep going, sometimes slower and sometimes faster until I decide to bring it to a conclusion, temporary or otherwise.

There will be a volume 3 if I do decide to end this volume, and I may write a short prequel.

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47 minutes ago, Alex Bridges said:

There will be a volume 3

Do Amazons age faster or slower than littles in your world? I can only imagine how depressing it would be to have an ancient and rickety old Manda shuffling about. Or, a wizened and aged Jamie bear for that matter. 

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1 hour ago, Shotgun Diplomat said:

Do Amazons age faster or slower than littles in your world? I can only imagine how depressing it would be to have an ancient and rickety old Manda shuffling about. Or, a wizened and aged Jamie bear for that matter. 

I think of them as aging at the same pace but having different life spans. I think I explained in Volume 1 why a human in the dimension would live longer (and age slower) than a human in earth, but within the dimension, bigs live longer than littles. 
 

I’ve also thought about the ramifications of that, but it’s not something I’m ever going to write about relating to Jamie or his people.

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1 hour ago, Alex Bridges said:

I’ve also thought about the ramifications of that, but it’s not something I’m ever going to write about relating to Jamie or his people

That makes me very happy to hear you say that. 

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