Jump to content
LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store

Done Adulting, Vol. 2 (Final chapter posted 12/21/20)


Recommended Posts

Chapter 81

 

Becky and Jane opted to try a restaurant they hadn’t been to before. Her treat, Jane insisted, and the place was neither family casual nor fine. It was quieter than where they normally dined, and though it wasn’t new anymore, it seemed to still have a veneer of the new in the polish on the chairs, the texture of the carpet, and the quiet pleasantries of the staff. Becky looked around after they’d been seated; there were no littles or kids. The music playing was instrumental. The only television hung in the bar, and the sound was muted. It was quiet. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been to a restaurant where she hadn’t needed to raise her voice to be heard.

“I feel like a cliche,” Becky said as she looked into her glass. “Like a sitcom woman.”

“Because you’re having a glass of wine,” Jane asked.

“It’s what all the female characters on TV do when they don’t have anything else to do. Buncha winos.” She wasn’t depressed, not even sad. Just not happy.

Jane understood the tired cliche Becky was referring to; she thought Becky was trying to make a joke, since neither of them were teetol. 

“It’s a celebration,” Jane reminded her. “Look what you did! You launched an adult out into the world. All on your own, too.”

“Not entirely on my own,” Becky demurred. “It’s just, now what?”

“Now nothing. You’re still in the prime of your life. You’re still working. It’s not like you’re retired and have nothing to do.”

“I’m just not sure what I’m going to do with myself on the days when Jamie is gone. Go home from work and then what?”

“Find some new hobbies. Volunteer somewhere. Plop down on the couch and do nothing. You’ll figure it out; everyone does.” Jane certainly had, though she knew better to compare. Jane never had gotten married; she had no kids of her own, only Rosie. She hadn’t dealt with an empty house for a long time, and she’d been much younger then. She didn’t know beyond the generic advice she’d just given Becky what she’d do if she suddenly found herself without Rosie a couple days a week.

“Most people have a partner, though,” Becky said. “When they’re empty nesters, they get to know each other as people again ... Seems like most of them find it exciting. Sad still, but they start doing a lot of stuff they’ve put off. I don’t really have anything like that.” She hadn’t put anything off. She’d been financially comfortable and had plenty of time during the summers to do the things she wanted. There were no travel dreams postponed, no hobbies she hadn’t pursued.

“True enough, but some of them find out they can’t stand each other with the kids out of the house. Lot of divorces with new empty nesters,” Jame reminded her.

Becky sighed. “I told Jamie about Amanda’s father last night. Didn’t really mean to. He just asked some questions about before he got here, and suddenly two hours had gone by.”

“I don’t think you’ve talked about that with me in years.”

“I’m sorry I did ... He really hasn’t gotten what he wanted this summer. Just all the stuff that upended it.”

“Ella is still here, and he’s sleeping in Manda’s bed right now. Seems like he’s got most of what he wants in life.”

“All the anxiety he’s been through though. Not what he signed up for. And I didn’t need to tell him about my divorce or raising Manda as a single mom.”

“Did you tell him anything bad?”

“No. Just told him in general.”

“And he didn’t get upset?”

“No. I think he liked it, actually. He said he liked that I shared. I just don’t want ... I know this sounds selfish, but I don’t want him to ... I’m not sure how to say it. I don’t want to start having grownup conversations with him. I didn’t get a little as a substitute for a partner. I don’t think he can stay my baby bear if what I did last night becomes a regular thing.”

“Sounds like maybe you needed to share with someone. And he just wanted to know a little more. Besides, I don’t think there’s anything in your past that could unsettle Jamie, not after all the stuff that led him here.”

Becky thought back on what he had talked about last night and what he’d mentioned over the years. No, there was nothing in Becky’s past to compare to the trauma he’d witnessed and endured. “I just ... he wanted to stop having adult worries. I can’t talk to him about divorce and raising a kid on my own and money and bills and have him not have those worries. He’s not ... it’s an extra challenge of having an unregressed little. It was work getting him to where he is now. I don’t want to undo it by bringing my adult worries to him.”

“Honey, you’re not going into to. It took a while, but Jamie is always gonna be your baby bear. That’s permanent.”

“Nothing is permanent ... it’s just reality. He can’t be both my little and the person I talk to about all the hard stuff.”

Jane was empathetic but felt Becky wasn’t being honest with herself about what was really bothering her. One conversation like the one she’d had last night in over four years didn’t undo anything or signal a new, unstoppable habit. “Do you talk to Manda about the things you talked about with Jamie?”

“No. And I guess I don’t need to talk to anyone about it. I don’t know why I brought it up with Jamie.”

“Well, you didn’t force Jamie to talk about those things with you, and one conversation doesn’t mean there’s going to be another every day. If you don’t want to do it again, just don’t. I think you’re just upset about the move and we’re feeling a little nostalgic and started talking about old times,” Jane said.

Jane wondered if Jamie taught her this, this finding reasons to feel guilty when something else was really bothering her. And, Jane thought, taking a small incident, that wasn’t even an incident, and blowing it up to outsized proportions.

Becky felt like Jane was right, and though she still felt unsettled by suddenly pouring forth to Jamie, she did realize she was more worried than she needed to be. She hadn’t talked to Jamie about how hard it was; she hadn’t complained. They’d mostly talked about typical life stuff, and in a good way, too.

“I don’t like having an empty house,” Becky said. “Seeing them at the end of the day ...” She sighed. “It’s the best part of the day.”

Jane moved her chair around the table and put her arm around Becky. She felt the same way about Rosie. Jane knew a lot of people with littles, and she didn’t know anyone who had divided custody of their little with their adult children. It wouldn’t have happened if Jamie were regressed. He’d have been treated like any other little with big siblings, which is to say like any big whose older sister had moved out: he’d have stayed behind and adjusted, as would they all have.

“You did the right thing,” Jane assured her. “You did it for both of them.”

“Bad family habit,” Becky muttered. “Doing the right thing all the fucking time.”

Jane sighed. “So now you get to do something selfish then,” she said. “Anything. What would you do for yourself if no one else was a consideration?”

“I don’t know.” She was a single mom, and a good one. She hadn’t not considered someone else’s needs in a meaningful decision in twenty-four years.

“I’ll help you find something then ... It will get easier,” Jane said. Becky knew that. Of course it would.

“Jamie got me a teddy bear,” Becky said with a half-smile.

“I thought he got Manda one.”

“Got me one, too. Exact same one. For the same reason ... So I guess I’m not totally alone when I get home tonight.”

“He’s a sweetie.”

“One of the best.” Becky took another drink and looked from her glass to the bottle before pouring another.

 

————————

 

After breakfast, Amanda got Jamie ready for the day like always. It made him think of all the subtle differences between homes, like the texture of the bottom of a bathtub, the fluffiness of a towel, the feel of carpet. A lot was the same, too, like the pad on the changing table and the perpetual smile on his bear’s face.

When they were both dressed, Manda hefted him onto her hip and carried him outside, setting him down at the foot of the front steps. They were on their way to meet the apartment manager, who Jamie hadn’t met before, and he felt pressure to make a good first impression. He smoothed his hair down again. 

“Why are you so nervous,” she asked as they walked along the path toward the office.

“Just want to get off on the right foot.” The manager could make their life easier or harder. Maybe Manda didn’t know that, but she’d learn the first time she had to ask for a repair. Jamie had other things he wanted to ask for that morning.

The office was just a unit in one of the buildings. They didn’t knock, naturally, and with a few differences the place was just all one-bedroom apartments in the complex. “Be right there,” a woman called out from the back. She emerged a moment later. She was around Manda’s age and wearing a cheap pair of slacks and a blouse. It seemed so familiar to Jamie, like all the apartment managers he’d ever known, young women who weren’t paid well and got bounced from one complex to the next. “Amanda,” the woman said.

“Hi. I just wanted to introduce my little to you.” She’d explained Jamie to the woman, trying to lay the groundwork for him.

“I’m Nancy,” the woman said. She didn’t hold out her hand until Jamie did.

“Jamie. It’s nice to meet you.”

“How’s everything,” Nancy asked. Amanda had two more days to find any faults in the apartment, after which they would be held against her when tried to get her deposit back whenever she moved out.

“So far good. I haven’t noticed anything else. Just wanted you to meet Jamie so if you saw him around you knew who he belonged to.”

“Appreciate that,” she said, though even knowing Jamie was unregressed it seemed odd that a little might be playing around the grounds by himself. “Any more questions for me?” Jamie couldn’t tell if she meant to rush them, but he felt rushed.

“I have some questions,” Jamie said. Nancy gestured toward the sofa. Brochures and a dish of candy were spread across the table in front of it. Manda sat down and let Jamie climb off her lap. She knew he liked to appear more independent when talking to bigs like Nancy.

“Are there other littles here,” he asked.

“Two. A boy and a girl. I can introduce you guys if you’d like,” she said as she looked at Amanda.

“We’d like that,” Amanda said.

“Yes, that would be nice. I also want to ask about the pool,” he said. He recalled from their tour two months ago the rules posted: littles had to wear a flotation device.

“Jamie is unregressed,” Amanda reminded Nancy. “He swims like a fish. We were hoping you could make an exception to the water wing rule in his case.”

“Hmm,” Nancy murmured. “I think that decision might be above my pay grade. It’s a liability issue, so I think I need to ask the main office. Honestly, I wouldn’t get my hopes up. They can be pretty inflexible about stuff like that.” Jamie expected that answer. They could argue it later, but with summer almost over, they’d wait.

Nancy would make the request, but she didn’t like the idea. She could see it backfiring on her. Besides, a little swimming seemed dubious. She knew people who claimed their kids could play like concert pianists when they really couldn’t find the right note if it were in their pants. Parents sometimes can’t see past how much they love their kids and littles.

“Anything else,” Nancy asked.

“Just one. The front stairs are little tall for me, and the concrete is kinda rough.”

“Dirty, too,” Amanda added. It was one thing climbing the stairs with his hands inside on the carpet. 

“I was wondering whether the maintenance people could build me a ramp.”

“Interesting idea.” Nancy didn’t see why Manda couldn’t just carry him in and out. The other little parents did. “I’ll talk to the head of maintenance. He’ll decide.”

“Great,” Manda said even though they hadn’t gotten a definite anything. “That’s all we wanted to ask. I’ll bring that paperwork back tomorrow or the next day.”

“That’ll be fine.”

“It was nice meeting you,” Jamie said. He half-meant it. He always looked on apartment manager jobs in big complexes like this as crummy, a job for people who didn’t go to college but also didn’t have any hard skills. Apartment complexes made for great jobs for the maintenance people, skilled tradesman who had steady work keeping a place with dozens of apartments running. The folks who leased and managed the complex, by contrast, were administrators, and he knew the best ones usually ended up in the corporate office. The last apartment he had lived in had a new manager every three months for the four years he’d lived there. Everyone was pleasant enough; he just found that most gave off the sense that they knew this wasn’t a career with a future for them, and so they did their jobs without putting in the effort to do them exceptionally. The younger of them were more pleasant, while the older they got, the less patient they seemed to be, as though bitter at where life had left them at that age.

“Let’s go check out the pool again,” Manda suggested when they were back outside. The way the complex was built into the topography made some of the buildings seem huge to Jamie even for a place where everything was huge. Whereas there building was on flat ground, some buildings were set into a hillside with the buildings forming a bowl open at one side. At the open side at the bottom was the pool.

Amanda opened the gate for him. It was on a spring and slammed behind them, making them jump. “We can put our feet in at least,” Manda said. They walked to the edge and removed their sandals. Sitting on the edge, Manda’s legs were submerged almost to her knees. Jamie’s short legs only got wet to his ankles.

“Hi,” Manda waved to a couple who were laying in chaise lounges face down across the pool. She wanted to be friendly, which she almost always was, and to make friends. When she thought about what she wanted it to be like in her new apartment, she pictured a circle of friends who lived there, having regular dinners together, hanging out at each other’s places. That’s the way it was for her friends who lived in the dorms for at least part of their college years, and Amanda hoped something like it would happen here for her.

The two others had seen them come in, and they waved back. “Should we walk over,” Amanda asked Jamie.

“Yeah.” He wanted her to make friends here. He had never done that at his apartments. It was partly his personality and quirks, but it also seemed like most people didn’t either. Old coworkers sometimes talked about being friends with their neighbors, not just acquaintances, but people Jamie’s age just didn’t seem to do that.

As they walked over, they overheard something they obviously weren’t meant to, a sentence ending in, “... peeing in the pool.”

Before they were noticed, the man said, “C’mon. They’re cute.”

Too late to turn back, Manda and Jamie pretended as thought they didn’t hear. “Hi,” Manda said when they were within a few feet. “Hope we’re not interrupting.”

“No,” the man said as he turned over and stood up. The woman turned over but didn’t stand. She didn’t look friendly at all. Jamie tried not to take offense. He remembered that sometimes when he was at the pool or the beach, even in Itali, he would sometimes roll his eyes at the arrival of littles or kids, expecting his quiet time to come to an involuntary end.

“I’m Amanda. This is Jamie. We just moved in.”

“Nice to meet you. Ethan and Latja,” the man said.

“How long have you guys been here?”

“I’ve been here three years, and Latja I think has been here a little over one, right?”

“Just about,” the woman said from her chair.

“He’s yours,” Ethan asked. That would be unusual for a woman so young.

“I’m his sister but also his guardian. He’s gonna be with me two days a week and every other weekend.” Amanda assumed by his silence that Jamie was once again trying to size these people up without giving anything about himself away.

“That’s pretty cool.” He looked at Jamie and back to Amanda. “May I?”

“Sure. He’s friendly.”

Ethan squatted in front of Jamie and looked him up and down. “Hi, Jamie. My name is Ethan. Can you try saying that?”

Jamie was feeling mischievous. He looked at Ethan and said, “Eetun.”

“So close,” Ethan laughed. “And just look at at your handsome blonde hair. I bet you drive the ladies wild.” Jamie knee he mostly did, though not so with Latja. Becoming a little had, ironically, turned him into a ladies’ man. But Latja was no longer paying attention. Ethan straightened up. “How long have you had him?”

“Four years,” she said as she put hand on Jamie’s shoulder and pulled him closer. “This is our first apartment.”

“How does he like it so far?”

“Last night was our first night, and so far, so good. We’re figuring out what we need still.”

“Ethan,” Latja said, “Will you do my back?” She was holding a bottle of sunblock. The way she said it made Jamie sense she was jealous of the attention Ethan was paying to them and wanted him to stop.

“Yeah, honey,” he said.

“We’ll see you around,” Manda said.

“Definitely,” Ethan said. “I love littles.”

“Me, too,” Manda replied as she picked Jamie back up. “Playground,” she asked Jamie as she walked away.

“Okay.” The playground was a few meters past the fence of the pool. The surface was rubberized, and thought it wasn’t as big as a park’s it had swings and a climbing structure with a slide. “Wanna swing for a bit?”

“Not really,” he said. “I just wanted to see it. Looks nice enough.” The last complex he’d lived in with a playground, the thing looked like a tetanus risk.

“That’s all there is to see,” Manda told him. They started heading back toward their apartment.

Inside, they sat on the couch to make a list of the things they’d figured out they needed after their first day.

“A chair,” she said. “Ideally the right height for you to eat at the coffee table.” She typed it into her phone. “And a bottle warmer.” That seemed obvious in retrospect. “Notice anything,” she asked before adding, “and don’t say you don’t need anything just because you don’t like asking for stuff.”

Jamie blushed because that was exactly what he would’ve done. “Bath toys.”

“Bath toys! Of course. And bubble bath, too.”

“That’s the only thing I could think of.”

“We’ll probably figure out other stuff as we go.” For sure there would be an item or two she wanted for herself. There were a couple already, but they weren’t urgent, and she’d wait to spend the money. “How’d you sleep last night, anyway. I meant to ask,” she said.

“Good. I like the bed we picked out. Didn’t hear our neighbors.”

“We should knock on their doors at some point, but not today.”

“Ethan was enthusiastic.”

“Yeah. So was Lucas,” she said flatly.

“You don’t like that?”

“Me just being insecure. Pretty girl shows up, and the men are so enthusiastic about saying hi. Seems a little insincere.”

“Ethan was sincere.”

“How could you tell?”

“Because he asked questions about me. Most of the guys who flirt with you with me around just say I’m cute and turn their attention back to you. That’s what Lucas did.”

“Or maybe Ethan thinks the way to get to me is through you,” Amanda suggested. “I guess those two are dating. She seemed kinda bitchy.”

“You’re just saying that because she thinks you’re gonna pee in the pool,” Jamie said. Manda felt like she’d walked into that one.

She picked him up onto her lap. “Is that so?”

“I’m not saying she’s right,” Jamie defended his joke. 

Amanda sighed. “Can we talk about something serious for a moment?”

“Yeah.” She leaned back against the pillows on the sofa and pulled Jamie back with her. “Is it bad,” he asked.

“Not at all. I just did something, and I want to know how you feel about it.”

He immediately thought of the boy she’d been dating. Perhaps she’d broken up with him, or perhaps finally decided not to.

“I got you something. Whether you use it is up to you. I really mean that. You don’t have to unless you want to.”

“Okay.” That was fine with him. He understood.

She angled her eyes downward for a moment to look at him. “I’m serious. No pressure. Whatever you want is what we’ll do, and I really need you to be honest with me about what you want.”

“I will be, promise.”

“I’ve been thinking this summer, that now that we’re in our own space, how would you feel about being out of diapers part time?”

That wasn’t at all what Jamie had expected. The topic of potty training had come up several times over the summer because Sammy was doing it, and from what Jamie knew he was coming along nicely. He didn’t know Manda had given it any thought, and now he wasn’t sure why she would. He did, though, think he couldn’t be out of protection without having an accident. Manda knew that; she doubted his potty skills sooner than he had.

“You don’t need to answer right away,” Amanda added when Jamie didn’t immediately respond.

“Manda ... I’d wet my pants if I didn’t wear diapers,” he said, gently stating the obvious. “I mean, I can hold it, but not for long. I’ve gotten so use to it, I don’t even notice every time.” At first, it has become so normal he would wet his pants and then forget he’d done it. He wasn’t sure now if that was the case, or if he didn’t always notice.

“Honey, I’m not talking about straight into undies. I’m talking about potty training. I got some pull-ups and a training potty.”

“How would that work? Does Mom know about this?” He was sure a Becky would object to trying, thinking it was futile. She’d been so worried he would be jealous of  Sammy or that seeing Sammy in pull-ups would hurt Jamie’s self-esteem, assuming he couldn’t do what Sammy was doing.

“Mom doesn’t know. We’d have to work on potty training you when you’re here, and then later we could figure whether to tell her and how, or we might not tell her at all, and the undies would only be something you can wear here.”

“What about when we’re out?”

“If there’s no chance of running into Mom, you could wear pull-ups. Otherwise, we’d need you in diapers. Still not place for you pee when we’re out.”

“So what does that leave? Just around the house mostly. What about bedtime?”

“We can see down the road on that after we get daytime figured out.”

“Can I ask why you thought of this?”

“Honestly, hearing Mom talk about Sammy and you just reminded me you were forced into this. I mean, I know I gave you a choice, but I also pressured you. I thought maybe you’d like to rethink it, maybe try to get your control back. And now that we have our space, it’s something we could work on without worrying about Mom freaking out about it, at least for now.”

It seemed foreign to Jamie now, the thought of using a potty. It had been so long, he couldn’t remember if he liked the  feeling of underwear more. It had become so normal, he couldn’t recall what he’d found about using his diaper so distasteful, behind the obvious which didn’t bother him anymore. Just like his bigs had gotten used to the unpleasant parts of it, so had he.

And yet, there was something tempting about trying. “I wanna to do it,” he said.

“Okay,” Manda nodded encouragingly. “Okay. When you’re here this weekend. Four whole days. We’ll get started.”

“How are we gonna do it?”

“We’ll talk about it all then. Can I ask why you want to?”

“I think I just want to ... be able to choose when I go again. Just to prove to myself I can.” Jamie didn’t think he wanted to so he could be more like an adult again. He didn’t think so, anyway.

“Okay. Then we’ll do it,” Amanda said.

“What do we do in the meantime?”

“Mmmm, nothing. Let’s take it a step at a time. Sound good?”

“Yeah. Thanks for thinking of me. Feels a little exciting.”

“Ready to go see Mom?” He nodded, and Manda by habit patted his butt as she sat up. “You’re almost ready, soggy britches.”

  • Like 8
  • Thanks 2
Link to comment

I am curious what Becky is going to do to fill her days (besides work) when Jamie is absent. I like how you addressed the difficulty faced by the newly empty nested people. Maybe time to get back into the dating pool, or perhaps engage in some form of group activity?

This story is really one of the highlights on this site, and although I am speaking for myself, I am sure there are a great multitude of people who will be sad when you eventually wind it down, and pack it up. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment

Interesting...

Curious to see where this goes...

I would have of course made my opinions on diapers clear from the start (like them but don't want to be full time) but then again I'm the kind of person who gives zero fucks so.... ??‍♀️

I would also be approaching adoption more from the perspective of someone wanting help with a disability and companionship while otherwise wanting my life to stay relatively normal so....

  • Like 1
Link to comment

Chapter 82

 

Becky felt ridiculous for feeling so excited as she waited for Jamie and Manda to get home. It wasn’t the first night she’d spent without one of them in the house since he’d arrived, but she couldn’t think of a time they’d both been gone overnight. In any case, she was looking forward to seeing them and asking how their first night had been. Her own night had ended with her in bed looking at the bear Jamie had given her and thinking about letting the dog out of the laundry room, where he had his own bed. When she heard the garage door opening, Becky went to the kitchen and started cleaning up her breakfast dishes, something she’d uncharacteristically put off all morning.

“Hi,” Becky said as the door opened. Manda had Jamie on her hip and his bag over her shoulder, plus her own backpack on.

“Little help,” Amanda said, and drying her hands haphazardly, Becky took Jamie from her.

“You can always let him walk inside,” Becky reminded her. Not that she put him down. “How are you,” she asked him, tapping the end of his nose.

“We’re good,” he said. “Did you have fun with Jane?”

“We always do,” Becky fibbed. It had been pleasant and better than being alone all evening, but she wouldn’t call it fun, not in the mood she’d been in. “Tell me about your first night?” Amanda set his bag and her backpack down.

“We invited the whole complex over, and I learned what Klako tastes like from this guy who smelled like a music shop,” Jamie told her.

“Then I assume you’ve been standing in the corner all morning,” Becky replied. “Does he need some more timeout time,” Becky asked Manda.

“Nah. I made him sleep in the corner. He learned his lesson.”

“So what did you guys really do,” Becky asked as she put Jamie on his own chair and went back to the sink.

“We had leftover pizza and made a salad and talked. We had fun,” Manda said.

“And we met a few people. The apartment manager and a couple guys and this girl at the pool.”

“Making friends already?”

“Making male acquaintances who flirt,” Amanda said. “Well, one more than the other. They seem nice enough.”

“The girl didn’t like us, but that could be because she’s afraid Amanda’s gonna pee in the pool,” Jamie added.

“Slight chance she was talking about you,” Manda replied, pinching her thumb and forefinger close together.

“What did the manager have to say?”

“She’s gonna introduce us to the people who have littles there; there are two of them. She’s gonna look into the pool thing, but we’re not holding our breath.”

“I asked for a ramp so I can walk in and out easier. The maintenance guy will decide.”

“Seems kinda basic anyway,” Becky said. “They don’t rent to people who use wheelchairs? And what about strollers?”

“We can come and go through the sliding door,” Jamie suggested.

“There’s not a lock on the outside,” Manda told him.

“And you can’t leave it unlocked when you leave,” Becky told Manda, not that Manda would anyway. “Learn anything else?”

“We need to get a couple things for Jamie before the weekend.”

“Like what?”

“A chair. He’s got no where to sit in the kitchen, and it’s hard for both of us to eat at the coffee table from the couch ... what else,” Manda asked as she looked at Jamie.

“A bottle warmer and some bath toys,” he answered.

“Those aren’t expensive,” Becky said. She’d give them the bottle warmer they had, though it still got occasional use.

“That reminds me,” Amanda said, “We can’t keep your milk in the fridge more than two days, so I guess we need to switch to formula or come back for more on the weekends.”

“We’ll see each other over those weekends anyway, I’m sure ... I did the dishes and now it’s lunchtime,” she said as she wiped her hands. “Guess I should’ve waited.”

“Or we could go out,” Jamie suggested.

“And make a run to the little store,” Manda suggested. “We can be back by nap time if we leave now.”

“Diet starts tomorrow, I guess,” Becky said.

“We”re still moving,” Jamie suggested, “so it’s okay. If you still have to get furniture, the move’s not over.” Sound reasoning, he figured. 

“Let me go clean up,” Becky said.

With that, Jamie hopped off his chair and walked through the living room to the breezeway. He opened the door and called out, “Kazoo!” Heard before seen, Kazoo appeared around the corner through the breezeway’s back door at a gallop, the tag on his collar jingling, his lumbering gait not stopping him from skidding when his toes reached the tile and he tried to stop himself. Jamie walked backwards with Kazoo jumping on his knees and sat back against the carpet, letting the dog sniff him all over and jump up to lick his face. Jamie laughed and sputtered while Amanda watched from the kitchen and then joined them on the floor. 

Becky found them in a pile, the dog still jumping from one to the next. She watched as she put a band in her hair to make a quick ponytail. Surely she was presentable enough for anyone they might run into at lunch; it still was summer, after all. Jamie rolled over into a sitting position with the dog on his lap. Grinning, he said, “I was kinda hoping you would greet me like that, Mama.” Amanda bit her lip at that word again.

Taking the bait, Becky got down on the carpet on all fours, more like a cat than a dog, as Jamie pushed Kazoo of his lap. “You were, were you,” Becky said. She circled to his left, getting a little closer, and playfully shouted, “Like this,” as she pounced on him. 

She rarely played so roughly with him, prompting an, “Ack!” as he fell backward.

“Like this,” Becky asked as she knelt over him and set her fingers to attacking his underarms.

“Hehehehehe! Mama!” Jamie couldn’t roll away. Amanda watched propped up on one elbow while Kazoo danced in a circle around them trying to find an opening to get in.

“Or like this!” Becky took his shirt and yanked it above his head, exposing Jamie’s belly and blinding him as she poked, tickled, and prodded his tummy and sides. He squealed, trapped, unable to beg through his laughter.

“Or like this!” She planted kisses on his belly, working her way and pull his shirt back down, planting more all over his face. She worked her hands under him and lifted him as she rolled to her back, leaving them chest to chest as she landed a few more kisses before laying her head back, both of them out of breath.

Gently chuckling, Jamie said, “You play rougher than Kazoozie.”

“Mama Bears gotta play rough. We just save it up.” Jamie sighed, and Becky kissed the top of his head as he rested his face against her breast. “Manda,” she asked, “could you bring us a diaper, please?”

“Sure,” Manda said as she stood up and started toward Jamie’s nursery.

“And do you know why,” Becky asked Jamie.

“Why,” he asked.

“Because you’re a wet little boy!” She rolled back over and pulled his shirt back up, attacking his tummy with raspberries. “A very wet little boy!”

“Hehehehe! Mama! Stop! Hehehe!” He tried to pushed his shirt back down, but she wouldn’t be denied.

“A wet little boy with a wet diapee!” She blew more raspberries. “And I’m gonna clean you all up - pbbbbt! - after - pbbbbbt! - I’m done - Nomnomnomnom! Pbbbbbt! - with this tummy!”

Spent, she rolled back over with Jamie on top of her. He wiped the tears from his eyes. “My Baby Bear,” she cooed as he took a deep breath and sighed. Not that he’d thought much of it, but he hoped she would play with him more often like this, like she had implied she would, with Manda out of the house. It was fun, and it made the snuggling right after so much better. 

Amanda came back wearing a queer smile as she watched Becky run her fingers through Jamie’s hair before reaching up to accept the diaper. She wondered if their new arrangement would bring this side of her mom out more. She knew Jamie would certainly like it, even if it meant Manda would have to up her game when Jamie stayed with her.

“Okay,” Becky said as she rolled over again, leaving Jamie on his back as she sat up, opened her legs, and pulled Jamie between them to change his underpants. “For real this time.” Jamie rubbed his eyes again as Becky folded his skirt up and out of the way. She patted his diaper again. It was warmer than when she’d started roughhousing with him. She clucked her tongue.

  • Like 5
  • Haha 3
Link to comment

Chapter 83

 

Jamie didn’t feel quite right about not being honest with Becky about his upcoming potty training. It wasn’t a lie, but it certainly was an omission. Maybe even a deception, and as Jamie knew, pondering the right word for it was only a further sign that it was wrong and he knew it.

He balanced that against the plain fact that Becky had made an important choice for him without his input, and when he’d tried to offer it, she’d dismissed it. She simply didn’t believe him when he said he could control his functions, and he knew it wasn’t because she thought he was lying. She just couldn’t fathom he didn’t need diapers, and when he said so, she’d filed it away in her mind as one of the silly things littles say. Becky’s blindness to it was just an aspect of her species and culture. Even Amanda, albeit in a different way, must’ve somehow felt similarly since she went along with her mother. Amanda didn’t believe he needed diapers, but she did believe at least for a while that it was okay to keep him in them anyway. That was worse than believing he needed them, yet Jamie had somehow given Amanda a pass on it back then, as though he needed someone to love so badly that he accepted the same flaw in her that he resented so strongly in Becky just because she was in charge and Amanda wasn’t. He no longer resented Becky for it, but he badly did then.

Thinking back on those early days when he and Becky had such a difficult time connecting with one another, when he had frankly not liked her and wished it was just him and Amanda, the diapering had played a major role. Whether or not she thought he was lying when he told her he didn’t need diapers, she hadn’t accepted his word. That hurt. It gave her license to take away a basic aspect of his personhood, the decision of where to relieve himself. He lost some dignity at the start of their relationship because of that, and that hurt, too. The lost of choice alone, devoid of context, he realized, hurt as well; it made him feel like a little, and at the time, he conceived of being a little as being lesser. He wasn’t a little as far as he was concerned; he was just a human living somewhere new and in a different way. He didn’t want to be a little. Not then anyway.

Now he wondered how his relationship with Becky may have been different if she hadn’t put him in diapers and made him keep wearing them. The diaper itself and her casual dismissal of his words, those are what set them on the wrong path. The other trappings of what to Becky were just parts of littlehood but to Jamie were parts of toddlerhood were small in comparison, but perhaps if it it hadn’t been diapers, another of those objects would’ve soured their early days together instead. The bottles or the pacifiers or the crib, their significance magnified in the absence of the much bigger deal the loss of his right to use a toilet had been. 

Or perhaps not. They all seemed small in comparison to Becky’s insistence to go along with whatever she decided for him. That had more directly challenged his personal sovereignty and stripped away the most crucial layer of his human adulthood. Doing as bigs told him, not lashing out when they demeaned him; those were much harder to accept. But Amanda had insisted on those, too. He came to accept they were mostly correct and that giving up the right to make all his own decisions, to let them defend him on his behalf, that those freed him to leave his past behind. Not so at the time. That struggle, as much inside him as between him and his bigs, took months to resolve.

But in those first few days after his arrival, none of that had happened yet. The diapers had; within less than an hour of waking up, he’d had his first clash with Becky, and it was over diapers. It set him to resenting her almost immediately.

He’d gotten over that resentment, and he’d grown first accustomed to diapers and then to enjoy parts of wearing them, like those intimate moments on the changing table when he had some of his most open conversations with Amanda and Becky. He loved Becky so much now, he hated that there had been a time when he hadn’t. But there had been, and it started because she wouldn’t even entertain the idea of not making him wear diapers.

So Jamie knew what he and Amanda were doing was dishonest, and that dishonesty alone made it partly wrong, but he couldn’t be bothered by the wrongness of it. He was taking something back, and he had every right to. He thought he must be one of the best behaved littles in Itali; he tried not to ask for much; he said his pleases and thank yous. He couldn’t bring himself to feel bad about making this choice for himself, and he didn’t want to. He’d long ago learned that continence had nothing to do with dignity. Still, he wanted his choices back.

Over time, not having the choice of where to relieve himself changed his habits which changed his muscles and muscle memory. Combined with the milk Becky fed him several times daily, he had begun to lose the choice of when to relieve himself, a greater loss than the choice of where.

Jamie didn’t think he’d lost the choice of when to relieve himself entirely, though. So far as he knew, he didn’t lose control now so much as he didn’t resist the need to go. It took conscious effort to keep his sphincter closed and none to let it open, the precise oppositely what continence is. He rarely took notice of need to go as a result, but sometimes he did, like when he spent time naked to air out, and then the need to go seemed to be urgent almost as soon as he felt it. He knew if he held it more for a few seconds, that urgency would probably become an emergency very quickly. That was the main thing he needed to achieve as he saw it, stopping the emergencies so he could remaster control of when he relieved himself. If he could do that, he could decide where. Otherwise, he couldn’t.

He told himself it would be easy to learn to hold it for longer again. He just needed to to pay conscious attention to his body and then get to the toilet when he felt he needed to. Merely holding it until he got to the training potty would help him be able to hold it longer, and the conscious attention would eventually become second nature until it could be unconscious attention again. Of course he could do it. He’d already done it for thirty years. He figured it wouldn’t be exactly like just before his return to diapers. He’d probably have to go to the bathroom more often, at least at first, but he knew he could do it. He wondered what it would feel like to wear something as thin as pullups, maybe even underwear again. What it would feel like to sit on a toilet. What it would feel like to not feel the contents of a diaper.

Manda spent the intervening days encouraging him when they were alone, telling him how great he’d be at potty training. He felt sure if he took her phone he’d find its browsing history full of sites and forums on potty training. Her enthusiasm didn’t feel contrived, but it did feel deliberate, as though some parenting expert instructed those approaching potty training to be relentlessly upbeat about it, to get their toddler excited for it, to build up their confidence, to tell them how great the experience would be and how great they’d be at it. She even thought they could do it in a single weekend. Jamie vaguely recalled that from his world, that some parents set out to master potty training in just a few days. Some seemed to succeed at it.

Jamie wondered what he’d tell Ella and what she would say. He knew she’d encourage him, of course. She wouldn’t resent it. She’d be spending a day with him and Manda over the weekend. It just made him nervous, sort of having an audience. The chance of getting caught by Becky made him nervous. He didn’t think he’d fail, but the prospect of it made him nervous. He wasn’t sure what he’d think of himself if he did.

What really preoccupied his mind, though, as Jamie tried to fall asleep, was thinking ahead, to perhaps as soon as next week, and wondering what Becky would think when he and Manda showed her he could use the toilet. Perhaps she’d be elated, proud and so lucky to have such a remarkable little. Perhaps she’d be upset; diapers never seemed a chore to her but instead something almost integral to the experience of having a little, something to be enjoyed because their little diaper waddles made them all the more adorable and helpless. Perhaps she’d be angry. 

Perhaps he’d never tell Becky. Perhaps underwear would just be a secret pleasure he enjoyed part time, only at Amanda’s. He didn’t know. He didn’t want to change his relationship with Becky. It just wasn’t worth that.

So he went to bed excited and contemplative, confident and not. He’d spend the next four days at Manda’s. That seemed long enough to at least get back enough control to call himself potty trained again, even if expert status was still a while away.

  • Like 6
  • Thanks 3
Link to comment

Another wonderful chapter, thank-you. Well , I didn't think it could be done, but I think that you have managed to address all of the issues and angstthat have plagued Jamie in some form or another in a single chapter. Well done. I am not sure how you manage it, but I swear that I like Jamie, Amanda, Becky, and Ella more as time goes on. You have made them read like actual people, with peccadillos and quirks, and I love it. Once again I thank-you.

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment

I’m surprised that Jamie said yes to potty training. I mean I get his reasoning, but I remember when Ella told Jamie about the little she knew who tried to potty train, but it ended up with lots of tears and then happily going back to diapers. Maybe that was foreshadowing Jamie’s story?

  • Like 2
Link to comment

I don't see this going well. While believe he can be potty trained, though it'll take a while, but I can see Becky not being very pleased with Amanda.

 

First, she will be upset that Amanda went behind her back, even if she doesn't believe Jamie is potty trained. 

 

Secondly, if she does believe it she'll be upset with Amsnda for not at least trying to get her to realize that Jamie didn't need diapers from the start and be upset with herself when she realizes what she did to Jamie. Being the fact that she's a good mother, this will be very hard on her. Might even bring back any kind if bad memories from her mother. Especially knowing her mother and if Becky was a bedwetter like her daughter. Sometimes that's actually genetic so chances are Becky or Amanda's father was a bedwetter.  So if it's this route, which I can totally see it going because I can see Becky realizing she did exactly what other Amazons do to littles then it will definitely add another emotional rollercoaster that we've come to see and enjoy from this adventure. Even if Becky wasn't a bedwetter I'm sure she'd think she was a bad mother and see herself being like her mother.

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment

That was a hard chapter to write. I spent a lot more time rewriting and restructuring it to get his feelings out in a way that made sense. They were quite jumbled, which strikes me as how feelings usually are in the real world.

Link to comment
11 hours ago, littleTomás said:

I’m surprised that Jamie said yes to potty training. I mean I get his reasoning, but I remember when Ella told Jamie about the little she knew who tried to potty train, but it ended up with lots of tears and then happily going back to diapers. Maybe that was foreshadowing Jamie’s story?

I think what we’ve seen with Jamie and all these characters is that they’re like us: we’re not always right about what will make us happy, so we’re always trying to find it, disappointed at least as often as not. That’s the very basis of the human condition.

What we’ll see is whether Jamie is right in this instance. I’m not sure yet. I let my characters tell me how they feel rather than decide for them.

Link to comment

I won't lie: I'm disappointed at this direction in the story. I can't really recall the details of the start of the piece, but Jamie chose to come here to escape his life and he must have understood what the culture of Itali was regarding littles. (In fact, though I understood at the time why it was difficult for him, I really think he should have accepted it as part of what he'd signed up for.) In any case, though, feels as if it will result in great difficulties (physical or emotional or both) whether he is successful or not, and it poses a threat to the stability of, well, everything. And for what? If successful, Jamie will still have to do his business in a potty seat, which is hardly any less childish than diapers (and actually more of a pain in the butt to deal with). And what if he is unsuccessful? Will he then stop breastfeeding as well because of the milk's effects? It seems that the loss of his most intimate times with his guardians is being threatened here.

I'm aware that part of my response stems from the fact that the big/little dynamic is central to the DD and to my enjoyment of it as a reader, and that this plotline might totally alter that dynamic. At the very least it seems likely to cause hard feelings for someone. I think I understand why Amanda would offer it more than why Jamie, who is aware of Becky's emotional connection to him and of his own (previously) total reluctance to to anything that would make her feel bad, would agree to it. It poses a very real threat to the future of his relationship with the woman he now calls his mommy and could well portend a future in which this idyllic little family unravels as Jamie becomes more independent (again, why? he didn't want independence) and even less like a traditional little. 

Ah well. I'll keep reading either way as it is easily my favorite current story, but I feel certain that something will be lost as a result of this that will be hard to replace.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
1 hour ago, kerry said:

well. I'll keep reading either way as it is easily my favorite current story, but I feel certain that something will be lost as a result of this that will be hard to replace.

I see what you're saying, but the possibilities are many. While I do see an emotional part in Jamie's story coming up in any way this unfolds, but if a family doesn't have times like this then they do not grow, these are called growing pains 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
3 hours ago, Guilend said:

I see what you're saying, but the possibilities are many. While I do see an emotional part in Jamie's story coming up in any way this unfolds, but if a family doesn't have times like this then they do not grow, these are called growing pains 

But...but...I like these stories because the characters don't have to grow up! ?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
42 minutes ago, kerry said:

But...but...I like these stories because the characters don't have to grow up! ?

I know, just remember, the story isn't over yet silly, maybe he'll realize his mistake and become even littler, or become the prince of the daycare, voted in by popular demand ?

  • Like 1
Link to comment

I just finished a book on how the physical environment affects people's behavior, and this chapter talks about how Jamie is mentally affecting the environment, an extremely incredible chapter.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
7 hours ago, kerry said:

I won't lie: I'm disappointed at this direction in the story. I can't really recall the details of the start of the piece, but Jamie chose to come here to escape his life and he must have understood what the culture of Itali was regarding littles. (In fact, though I understood at the time why it was difficult for him, I really think he should have accepted it as part of what he'd signed up for.) In any case, though, feels as if it will result in great difficulties (physical or emotional or both) whether he is successful or not, and it poses a threat to the stability of, well, everything. And for what? If successful, Jamie will still have to do his business in a potty seat, which is hardly any less childish than diapers (and actually more of a pain in the butt to deal with). And what if he is unsuccessful? Will he then stop breastfeeding as well because of the milk's effects? It seems that the loss of his most intimate times with his guardians is being threatened here.

I'm aware that part of my response stems from the fact that the big/little dynamic is central to the DD and to my enjoyment of it as a reader, and that this plotline might totally alter that dynamic. At the very least it seems likely to cause hard feelings for someone. I think I understand why Amanda would offer it more than why Jamie, who is aware of Becky's emotional connection to him and of his own (previously) total reluctance to to anything that would make her feel bad, would agree to it. It poses a very real threat to the future of his relationship with the woman he now calls his mommy and could well portend a future in which this idyllic little family unravels as Jamie becomes more independent (again, why? he didn't want independence) and even less like a traditional little. 

Ah well. I'll keep reading either way as it is easily my favorite current story, but I feel certain that something will be lost as a result of this that will be hard to replace.

All very valid points. Remember, conflict is what makes stories interesting. Right now, it’s all about Jamie’s internal conflicts. The next four days in Jamie-World will be interesting, and I think a lot more fun than you’re anticipating.

Link to comment
  • Alex Bridges changed the title to Done Adulting, Vol. 2 (Final chapter posted 12/21/20)

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...