Jump to content
LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store

Recommended Posts

 

*RING* The bell to start the next period rang out across the school. Tom immediately shot his glance up from his drawings, slightly shaking his head out it’s daze. “Damn I really lost track of time…” he mumbled, as he started throwing things into his bag. He picked up his random sketch, and neatly placed it into his drawings folder. At 18 years old, Tom still had his sandy blonde hair, with that classic emoish messy bowl cut, and glasses. He was rather thin for someone who was 5’8 and 150 lb, but his real characteristic lied in between his pants. You see Tom had a small penis for someone his age. Very small in fact, it was extremely embarrassing for him, but there wasn’t a single thing he could do about it. While he dreamed of finally getting some kind of action with a girl, he knew it’d be quite the hurdle to jump over when they would finally see how small he was. Navigating through the hallway jungle, Tom made his way into the art center. He always loved being in there, it was where he felt truly free. Just the chalky smell cleared his mind and got rid of all the daily distractions. Finding his normal seat, he sat down, and pulled out the sketch he was working on from earlier. “Alright class, go ahead and free sketch for the period. It’s a Friday, and I know I won’t get you guys to work! Haha, have fun everyone.” The teacher said, as she made her way back to her own desk. Tom just smiled at those instructions. He had a hunch something like that was going to happen, as he dug his head into this work. Muting the world around him as he diligently worked on his sketch. “Hey, not bad.” A girl’s voice said behind Tom. For the second time that day, he was shaking his head out of a drawing haze. He didn’t really recognize the voice, so he spun his head around. Instantly, his pupils dilated, and skin lightly flushed as he took in the beautiful girl. The 18-year-old girl was about 5’7 and 140 lb. She had slightly tan skin, and beautiful flowing brown hair that accompanied her brown eyes. She had a small mole on her neck, but it truly added character to her. She smiled lightly at Tom and said, “You mind if I… sit with you?” Tom was slightly taken aback by the request, as he tried to find the words. After just staring at her for a few moments, he just awkwardly shook his head. The girl chuckled at this, as she pulled out the chair and sat next to Tom. “I’m Terra by the way.” She said, as she pulled out a Sonic the Hedgehog drawing. It was intricate, and immediately caught Tom’s eye. He stared for a moment, and then responded with “I’m Tom… I really like that sketch you got there. How long you been working on it?” He said. Terra responded with a smile, “Why thank you, and not too long. I don’t know it’s just something I work on a few times a day…” She trailed off, as she started adding to the Sonic’s face. She picked up with, “I really want to be a game designer when I grow up you know? I’ve been doing everything I can in school to do that. You need good grades to get into a great college, and sketches like this just really motivate me to do well this senior year.” Terra said, adding more texture to Sonic’s cheeks. Terra’s obvious motivation made Tom feel a little small compared to the girl. He didn’t really know what he wanted to do in life, so seeing Terra talk about her passions like that made him feel slightly inferior to her. “That’s ah… neat yeah. I’m not totally sure what I want to do yet, but I hope it’s something with drawing like that.” Tom said weakly, trying to impress this girl. Terra smiled again, “I’m sure you will. I do worry about my future from time to time though. My now ex-boyfriend would fill me with all this doubt about not being able to make it. I don’t know, I try my best, but I do worry sometimes.” She said, as she continued to work on her drawing. Tom could tell she was despondent after saying that but decided to leave it at that. The rest of the class went on, the two of them chatted about their lives and random things. They didn’t even notice how quickly the class flew by, as the bell rung again. “Oh jeez haha, didn’t even notice it was already 12!” Terra said with a chuckle. “Haha, yeah. Hey do you want to uh, eat lunch together?” Tom said, as he started packing up his things. Terra shot a smile at him, as she did the same with her belongings. “I’d love that.” She said, as she slung her backpack around her shoulder. *** *Knock Knock* Tom knocked on the door to Terra’s place as he nervously shifted his weight. Him and Terra had gotten close since that day in art class. Terra asked him to hang out one Friday afternoon. It was a complete shock to Tom, but he immediately accepted. Driving to her house had made him a complete nervous wreck. He really liked Terra, but his small dick was all he could think about. What would she do when she finally found out? Would she be okay with it? Would she…. Laugh it off? He really wasn’t sure, he’d never shown anyone how small his cock was. His palms were drenched in sweat from how nervous he was as he wiped them off on his pants. The door finally swung open, with Terra standing in the doorway. “Took ya long enough to get here.” She said, as she spun around, and began walking back into her house. “Haha sorry, tons of red lights on the way here… and stuff…” Tom just kinda trailed off as he walked in and made his way up the stairs with Terra. “You any good at COD?” She said, as the two sat down in front of Terra’s TV. “Oh, you have no chance.” Tom said with a smile, as he grabbed the controller next to him. The two of them started going at it in a split screen match. “Boom! Head shot! Eat it Tom!” She yelled, as she started wiping the floor with him. Tom was going hard at first, but something else inside of him was doing the same…. His small cock was suddenly fully erect. Tom had always dreamed about playing video games with a girl, and now that it was finally happening? Well, let’s just say this wasn’t something he could control. His baby dick was making a small tent in his pants, and there was nothing he could do about it. His focus was waning from the game, as he tried his best to conceal the embarrassing erection. Looking at the game, and his groin wasn’t doing wonders for his score. Terra ran away with the match, as she came out victorious. “Oh, what you gotta say about that Tom? I thought you were great at this game?” She said, mocking him. Tom just stared at the girl. Her beauty oddly got him for a second, as he stared into her eyes. Something inside of him started to bubble up, something he wasn’t used to. Courage. “Fuck it” he thought, as he leaned in. Tom’s lips pressed up against Terra’s warm cheek. Her face immediately lit up in shock. She never would have thought Tom would make the first move. They sat in silence for a moment, as they just stared at one another. “Hey look, if you didn’t like that I’m-“Tom was instantly cut off, as Terra shoved her face into his. They started making out, throwing the controllers to the ground. Their hands started working all over one another, as they passionately kissed one another. Tarra’s hands started slowly making their way down Tom’s crotch. Tom noticed but didn’t seem to care. He was just in heaven as he experienced his first kiss. Terra opened one eye to look at his crotch, and her face lit up once again. “One the hell?” She thought, as she saw the smallest protrusion from a boy’s crotch she’s ever seen. “Holy shit he’s small as fuck.” She thought, as she continued to kiss him. “How the fuck does a grown man’s dick get this small? Did it ever hit fucking puberty?” She thought, suddenly breaking off the kiss. “What’s wrong?” Tom said, slightly taken aback. His tiny erection was obvious, as he did nothing to conceal it. Terra composed herself, “Oh nothing! I just uh… kinda realized there was some um… homework I had to take care of.” She said, jumping up from the floor. She made her way over to her desk and flipped open her laptop. Tom just sat there on the floor, still in his daze. He honestly looked kinda dumb, just lightly staring off into space. He didn’t seem to care the girl just abruptly stopped the passionate kiss. Terra just chuckled to herself, as the boy drifted in his dumb horny haze. “Oh I know what this boy needs.” Terra said to herself, typing in “Goodnights” into the google search bar. A slight giggle escaping her lips as she did so. Tom seemed to slowly come out of his haze, as Terra searched on the web for various diapers. “If he’s gonna have a baby cock, he needs to be in the right underwear then.” She thought to herself, as Tom started getting up from the floor. “Hey if you’re uh busy then I’ll… I’ll be heading out then I guess?” Tom said with an accepting tone. “Hmm?” Terra said, looking up from her laptop. “Oh yeah, that’s fine.” She looked back down at her diaper filled computer screen. “Hey I had fun, we should do this again sometime.” She said with a slightly wicked grin. Tom lit up, “I’d love that!” he said, gathering his things. He made his way to the doorway and stopped. “For what it’s worth, you’re a great kisser.” Tom said, his little baby erection still obvious. Terra let out a slight laugh at the sight, “Yeah you too.” She said. “See you real soon, Tom Tom.” Terra said, Tom cocked his head quizzically at that, but just shrugged it off. Making his way down the hall and out the house, as Terra started loading up her online cart….

thoughts?

 

Link to comment

Thank you for the input. Its just a rough draft. I intend on cleaning it up a bit and formatting everything correctly, but, formatting and grammar

aside what do you think of the story ?

Link to comment
On 6/24/2019 at 3:37 PM, littlediapy said:

Thank you for the input. Its just a rough draft. I intend on cleaning it up a bit and formatting everything correctly, but, formatting and grammar

aside what do you think of the story ?

Right now it's just a big ol' block of text.  Break it into paragraphs so it's easier to read.

Link to comment
18 hours ago, littlediapy said:

thank you. i actually re-posted it in completed stories with better formatting. 

Alright.  I've read it. How much feedback do you want, and do you want it here or in private message?  Is there something you want me in particular to focus on?

To make a simile, if this piece was like a dance routine, would you want me to comment on the whole thing or would you rather I focus on your rhythm, or your foot placement, or your posture?  Because, I'll be blunt, if you want blind praise, I'm not your guy. If you want me to tell you in more detail what you succeeded at and what you should definitely look to improve upon in future edits, then yeah, I can give you feedback.

Link to comment

Well, this is the critique section, and you did ask for feedback, so I'm just going to roll up my sleeves here.

1) You made an attempt to build some background for the main character (likes art, likes video games, has a really small penis that he's really self-conscious about), which is a good thing to try to do.  Well, the art/video game thing.  Not so much the penis thing.  If anything, that would have been better saved as a "surprise" during the later sexual encounter.

2) You made no attempt to build any background on the secondary character.  Terra nearly appears out of nowhere, comes on to him, and five sentences later, boom, we're into a scene.  This doesn't really make sense, considering he's 18, has therefore been in this school for at least 3 years prior (we don't know how far along in the current school year he is), and probably knows everyone in his art class.  If it was someone he didn't know, he probably would have expressed some surprise at "some girl" coming up behind him.  Also, how does he know she's already 18?  Maybe it actually is a new girl, one he might have heard moved here from (location).  Or maybe it's some mysterious person that he'd seen a few times but never interacted with her.  It's high school, so the rumor mill is constantly churning.  Unless, of course, the main character is one of those loner types, in which case this would have been a useful detail to convey about the main character. 

3) Because of #2, among other things, the scene in question makes zero sense. He has a small dick, so she immediately thinks putting him in diapers is a good thing to do?  Also, she literally starts searching up "Goodnites" while he's still in the room, but he doesn't notice? As if she can't just make a mental note to hit the grocery store later?  It's all jumbled up, and because we have nothing on this girl Terra, it looks like she's just a vehicle to further your plot.  

Patient narration is a key to good writing.  Also, physical descriptions that read like vital statistics are not fun to read.  

You tell me, which one is more fun to read:

"The 18-year-old girl was about 5’7 and 140 lb."

or

"Tom had seen her in the halls; she was fairly slender, but curvy, and nearly his height, which was both unnerving and titillating."

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...