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Repressed AB side


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I have now decided to come out of my shell as an AB.  Looking back, I have always had AB tendencies but buried them deep down until very recently.  Has anyone else experienced this?  And could it be a sign of a repressed memory?

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I know I had elements of AB in me from a very early age.  I remember pinning a towel on myself for a nappy, and a can't have been more that 7 years old.  And then all sorts of other things as I got older, and then puberty came along.  Making plastic pants out of plastic bags.  Getting my first wife to wear plastic pants in bed.  But I didn't put the bits of the jigsaw together & realise how close a fit I was to an AB until I was in my early 30s.  From then on it all made sense, and after a bit of purge and binge for a few years I came to terms with it all and never looked back.  I can't say there were any repressed memories though - my childhood was a happy one, as far as home life was concerned.  And I don't even know whether I was always going to be an AB, or whether when I found out there were other ABs, then the fit was so good I naturally became one then.  Was there a picture on the jigsaw pieces before I put them together or not?  I'll never know.

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It’s possible there is some event, or something from your past, you haven’t put your finger on, or can recall. For myself, I never could. I have always been attracted to diapers and plastic pants, all the way back to when I still wore them as a pre-toilet trained child. I don’t think there was a time for me when I repressed the feelings. Other than, when I was really young and didn’t understand what it was. But, even that was more to keep it secret to myself, and not let anyone else know I wanted diapers. I went a long time, not knowing others had these feelings, and similar attractions. It took me many years, to see it was a part of what, or who I am, and to just embrace it, learn to enjoy it. But, that’s pretty much what I did for years, indulging in my wanting to wear. I grew up without, the instant knowledge of the internet. That made it all the more harder to accept, what I was doing was ok. 

You may not ever know, or remember, if there is something that triggered your liking diapers, I can’t point to anything for myself. But if you can’t, that’s not so bad, there’s lots of things you probably have forgotten about, you can’t retain everything. The main thing now, just embrace who you are, and that this is something that’s a part of you, and what makes you. Enjoy it, the best ways you can! Don’t let it bum you out to much either, it’s just one part of you, it shouldn’t define who you are. Only here, do we identify we are AB/DL, and that’s only because that’s the subject at hand. Now, go put your diaper on! Lol. ? 

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Stroller hit most of the spots that I had as well, can't add much to what he said to fit my story other than not getting my wife involved.  Interesting that now in late 60's,  a prostrate issue is creating a real medical need for diapers, so it looks like I get to live my childhood years over again, but in this case our of necessity.

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  • 2 months later...

I can remember when I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade, the teacher had a hand-raise code for restroom breaks (one finger for pee pee and two fingers for poop).  If it was urgent, we were to move our finger gesture in a circle to indicate the urgency.

I didn't want to advertise to my class that I had to go pee pee badly so I remembered that when I needed to go, I could walk around and it would suppress the urge for a while.  I started walking around in class, like I was looking at each classmate's coloring job until I couldn't hold it anymore and I ended up wetting myself.  The teacher then noticed I had been walking around instead of sitting at my desk, coloring my paper so she stopped me and discovered that I had wet myself and lead me to the class restroom to clean up.  That was, I believe, the only time I recall ever having wet myself in public as a child, where people could see.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 6/4/2019 at 5:01 AM, AbabeBill said:

It’s possible there is some event, or something from your past, you haven’t put your finger on, or can recall. For myself, I never could. I have always been attracted to diapers and plastic pants, all the way back to when I still wore them as a pre-toilet trained child. I don’t think there was a time for me when I repressed the feelings. Other than, when I was really young and didn’t understand what it was. But, even that was more to keep it secret to myself, and not let anyone else know I wanted diapers. I went a long time, not knowing others had these feelings, and similar attractions. It took me many years, to see it was a part of what, or who I am, and to just embrace it, learn to enjoy it. But, that’s pretty much what I did for years, indulging in my wanting to wear. I grew up without, the instant knowledge of the internet. That made it all the more harder to accept, what I was doing was ok. 

You may not ever know, or remember, if there is something that triggered your liking diapers, I can’t point to anything for myself. But if you can’t, that’s not so bad, there’s lots of things you probably have forgotten about, you can’t retain everything. The main thing now, just embrace who you are, and that this is something that’s a part of you, and what makes you. Enjoy it, the best ways you can! Don’t let it bum you out to much either, it’s just one part of you, it shouldn’t define who you are. Only here, do we identify we are AB/DL, and that’s only because that’s the subject at hand. Now, go put your diaper on! Lol. ? 

Oh my gosh, I think you hit the nail on the head with me! I have wondered where my newfound love of diapers came from, to suddenly show up out of the blue and become an obsession. My childhood memories are coming back to me now.. being diapered until probably 6-7 because of bedwetting.. cloth only with plastic pants..  having to learn to stay dry at night.. only to regress when my dad passed away when I was 9. I loved the free-peeing feel, always have I guess, but like everyone else it got supressed as we got older. Sorry, mom (R.I.P).. back to square one.. ☺️

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  • 1 month later...

It's something many of us experienced. I discovered my AB side at age 17, but before then, I had the tendencies in me, long after it was no longer acceptable to act that way. I used to wet the bed at night, which was entirely unintentional. But before falling asleep, sometimes, I'd pee in my pull-ups. I was also very reluctant to even try to stop. My mom had to basically threaten me out of it. Also, no, I don't think it has anything to do with repressed memories. I think you simply repressed that side of yourself because it becomes socially unacceptable to act like a baby early on.

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14 hours ago, cookiemonster23 said:

It's something many of us experienced. I discovered my AB side at age 17, but before then, I had the tendencies in me, long after it was no longer acceptable to act that way. I used to wet the bed at night, which was entirely unintentional. But before falling asleep, sometimes, I'd pee in my pull-ups. I was also very reluctant to even try to stop. My mom had to basically threaten me out of it. Also, no, I don't think it has anything to do with repressed memories. I think you simply repressed that side of yourself because it becomes socially unacceptable to act like a baby early on.

What I mean is I didn't know I had AB tendencies until somewhat recently but when looking back it made sense, given my personality.  A lot of people on here have said they have always wanted to go back to childhood but for whatever reason that wasn't the case with me.  I'm wondering why that is.

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19 hours ago, Firefly 35 said:

What I mean is I didn't know I had AB tendencies until somewhat recently but when looking back it made sense, given my personality.  A lot of people on here have said they have always wanted to go back to childhood but for whatever reason that wasn't the case with me.  I'm wondering why that is.

I see what you're saying. I think a lot of go through that.

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On 10/16/2019 at 8:47 PM, cookiemonster23 said:

I see what you're saying. I think a lot of go through that.

 

On 10/16/2019 at 4:27 PM, Kiddo said:

I've been an adult boy for a long long time. My chronological boyhood was cut short by parental expectations that I grow up, and by my own sense that if I couldn't be the kind of boy my parents wanted (conventionally masculine, straight) I would be precocious and more like a grown-up. In other words, I would impress them with my adult manners and intelligence and behavior -- and then maybe they wouldn't be disappointed in me for not meeting their standards. So I was "adulting" from an early age, and the boy in me got shoved into a mental and emotional closet in my psyche. We all know what happens to the repressed! It sure did return. And I think it began returning as I moved farther and farther from my parents. I've noticed that now that my parents are gone, I have the space in which to return to that boyhood I never had. So, yeah, I've wanted to "go back to childhood," as Firefly puts it, but it's more like I'm going there for the first time. This isn't a second childhood for me; it's my first childhood, the one I wasn't allowed to have.

So some have always known they're ABDL and others "rediscover" that side of them?  That might explain my predicament.

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