Where do you draw the line for going AB in public?

[Nat]

I saw a post at Reddit by someone where he or she saw a man was visibly dressed as an AB and had a pacifier around his neck and was drinking from a bottle and everyone in the thread was okay with that. They did not see it as him forcing his kinks onto others in public and didn't see it as exposure. So where do you draw the line for what you can wear out in public without exposing anyone to it?

I just thought using bottles and sippy cups and pacifiers and wearing AB clothing was exposing it to the public but apparently not?

[Elfy]

Wearing nappies discreetly in public? Fine. I do it all the time.

Wearing SLIGHTLY childish clothes? Not a problem.

Any kind of nappy exposing, pacifiers, bottles or actions that make it obvious you are ABDL? Problem.

[happyindprs]

It depends on the setting. I have sucked on a pacifier while driving to my lake home for the weekend. I believe I am adding a little humor to the drive. It also probably starts a dialog with who ever sees me with it. Besides some people I hear use a pacifier to stop smoking. Wearing diapers under childlike clothing isn’t too bad either as long as it isn’t in a setting with children. Kids need not be exposed to such things. Get your kink on during Halloween. Sippy cups, well we all use the, these days, don’t we? So no crime, no foul..

[rusty pins]

It does depends a little on just what you wear and the situation.  In many summer casual situations even a guy can get away with no shirt and bib overalls, or a tank top and bib overalls.  Women can even get away with bib shortalls in some situations without drawing much attention.  That would be about as far as I would go and it would have to be in the right setting among others.  Wearing diapers discreetly under jeans or even shorts that hide them if they are not super bulky is also OK.  Dressing in cloths in public that are obviously adult baby clothes, using a pacifier or baby bottle or diapers so thick it's unmistakable that you are wearing them is not a good idea at all.  No offence to happyindiapers but while it may be adding some humor to the drive or a conversation starter with some people, there are still many people who will get the wrong idea and tend to give us all a bad name.  ABDL has gotten a lot more awareness in recent years but people still do not accept and understand it like they now do with the LGBT lifestyle.  Remember, it's one thing to see an actual 2 or 3 year old dressed that way but even though you may feel like a toddler, you are still an adult in an adult sized body.  My thought is even if a little diaper may show out the back of your jeans if you have to bend down, that's not as bad as a person wearing adult baby clothes and a super bulky diaper with a pacifier.  The difference?  In the former you are still dressed normally like everyone else even if you have a diaper on under your clothes.  If a little diaper shows, many people will just figure you are a person with a medical need and that will be as far as it goes.  The latter means you are purposely wearing such clothing out in public to get a reaction or else being open about your lifestyle.  Either way, it can be controversial and even though it may not be breaking any law, it's still not prudent to do so just to make a point or exhibit yourself.  Some decorum and restraint should be shown when out in public.

[le Hollandais]

It's funny to think of the adult parallels here.

• AB sippy cup;  Adult version, hot beverage travel cup
• AB pacifier; a pipe or cigar

For my own purposes, I'll stick to wearing diapers at home in private.

[Alex Bridges]

I think anything baby-related should stay invisible in public. Diapers under normal, adult clothes are fine.

The acceptable middle ground are clothes that adults can but rarely do wear. For instance, I went on a munch field trip to whats basically a huge playground for kids and adults, and some the female littles worse white tights under their skirts and tied up a pony tail with a ribbon. I think one wore a shortall with a skirt. Things that stick out a little if you think about them but are so subtle most people won’t think of them.

[littleTomás]

2 hours ago, Author_Alex said:

I think anything baby-related should stay invisible in public. Diapers under normal, adult clothes are fine.

The acceptable middle ground are clothes that adults can but rarely do wear. For instance, I went on a munch field trip to whats basically a huge playground for kids and adults, and some the female littles worse white tights under their skirts and tied up a pony tail with a ribbon. I think one wore a shortall with a skirt. Things that stick out a little if you think about them but are so subtle most people won’t think of them.

I'm with you. The rule of thumb I like to follow as far as clothing is if it was purchased from the adult section of a vanilla store, then it's probably ok to wear in public.

[Dubious]

as long as the diaper is hidden and one act like adults..

Childish play is somewhat ok, but not baby language or acting like a baby

[AbabeBill]

I don’t like the idea, of not being allowed to express yourself, or live how you like. But, you also need to have some respect for others in what you do. I just think of, trying to explain to children, what the adult person is doing out in public dressed as a baby. I’m sure you could, somehow, but I wouldn’t want to, have to. 

Anyone who wants to dress, and act that way, can find other, non general public places to strut their thing. 

But, I guess we will always some people, who don’t possess the capacity to judge what’s a proper behavior. 

 

[bottlestop]

Some years back there was Heidi Lynn aka Baby Man in Phoenix.   https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/baby-man-6445638

and

 

[Ketcher]

I'm in agreeance with all those advocating to keep it private. Whether ABDL is sexual to you or not, it is still considered a kink and should not be exposed to the non-consenting public. Your life is yours to do in the privacy of your own home, and I find it incredibly disrespectful to put your kink on display for your own pleasure. It makes a lot of people scared and uncomfortable and it gives a bad reputation on the ABDL community as a whole. It only takes a handful of selfish people to ruin it for everyone else.

A diaper discretely hidden under your clothes is fine, as are overalls or somewhat juvenile appearing clothing, but everything else should stay at home. Whether or not you care about what other people think, please be considerate of them for the sake of all of us. 

[oznl]

I believe that people’s choice of underwear is absolutely theirs and within the constraints of public hygiene and inoffensive odour, go in peace, go nuts…

Similarly, I believe that people’s choice of outerwear is LARGELY theirs within the constraints of public decency as would be defined by the general demographic of people they are exposing themselves to (a hopelessly vague, fluctuating and relative term I know but I can think of no other). 

There are some narrow circumstances (such as a fetish club venue or conceivably, some kind of queer rally) where wearing a nappy and plastic pants with little else would be reasonably acceptable. 

Other circumstances (Walmart), absolutely not.

I see two key problems with “inappropriate exposure” of ABDL attributes.

Firstly, the exposer is likely to be considered to be (and may WELL be) conscripting without consent, members of the general public into his or her fetish scene.  That could be considered sexual harassment.  If “general public” includes minors, well, you can see the implications.

Secondly, as others have said, it’s just going to bring social sanction and by association, collective disrepute to all of us who are already struggling with compulsive behaviours that fly in the face of social convention.  Life with this is hard enough for the rest of us already.  Shocking people’s kids and embarrassing their parents isn’t going to build trust.

And by the way, “inappropriate exposure” would include those who would deliberately fill their diapers (even if they are hidden) lustily at the supermarket checkout in order to obtain a reaction out of bystanders.  Not good.

5 hours ago, bottlestop said:

Some years back there was Heidi Lynn aka Baby Man in Phoenix.   https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/baby-man-6445638

and

 

Heidi Lynn was an interesting outlier.  I'm impressed at his sheer chutzpah and from what I've read and seen of him, I don't believe he WAS exploiting the general public but rather doggedly pursuing his dream at any price.  I still think it would have been better if he'd stuck with 24/7 diapers and kept the onesies for inside wear but he didn't, he's not here to speak to himself so the point is moot I guess.  RIP Heidi Lynn.

 

[cookiemonster23]

I see it the same way I see every other kink; keep it private. I don’t believe in involving people in kinks they don’t consent to. I hold the same stance with BDSM and every other fetish. However, I agree that subtly childlike clothes and hidden diapers are ok. 

[Smash-N-Dash]

In my opinion, if you keep it subtle or not visible, it’s completely fine. Anything way out of the ordinary or overly done is too much, and that’s not just ABDL. Any sort of kink, PDA, or really anything out of the ordinary or overly done is too much.

[rosalie.bent]

I find it amusing that everyone on Reddit thought it was okay. OF COURSE they did. Reddit ABDL is itself, an outlier on the community. They exist largely to criticise and abuse anyone whose opinions (nevermind facts!) dont line up with their beliefs.

OZNL's post was the perfect answer to this question as it takes into account varying circumstances. We do not have the right to impose ourselves on other people unwillingly. ABDL is very poorly understood and do not only are we imposing ourselves on others, we will almost always be giving them the WRONG impression as well.

Discretion folks...

 

Sometimes Reddit is amusing just to see who they are hating today.

[Little_annie]

i dress very childish in dresses everyday but i never intentionally show my diaper. i love jumper with anything on the bib front like winnie the pooh ABC boxes you get it, most people are to busy with their own life to notice people around them. and yes i wear them to work also. its not for everyone just it the way i have spend my entire life. 

life to short for lines wear a diaper 

[messyman]

I have some overalls and shortalls that with no embroidery that I wear as vanilla clothing. I won't wear them with a printed onesie in public because that looks weird on a 30 something with a full beard.

[BabyJune]

I NEVER wear a diaper away from home, especially while driving. The risk of something going wrong is too great. I'll wear while walking from one house to another in the neighborhood and I wore while walking a couple of blocks to the mailbox. And of course I would never wear baby clothes in public. It's a very private thing to me. (Especially since my baby clothes are all for girls). I'm satisfied keeping my private life inside the house and to myself because nobody would understand except the people in this forum.

[willnotwill]

I guess we all have our own definition of risk.    I have less of a risk out driving or shopping than I do walking around my neighbors going to the mailboxes or whatever.

 

[herb330]

I use diapers 24/7 so I definitely go out in public but not shown.  I occasionally when traveling int eh car use a pac or baby bottle

[Sailor Snow]

For myself i only wear diapers under regular clothes. And when i feel a bit more confident i might wear a bit more clothes while not really regular adult clothes i just really like and want to wear.
As for other people i think that you should be able to wear what you want (as long this is the confines of the law so to speak). yeah most people will look at you weird if you are in like adult baby clothes, But if your okay with that then wear what you want.
I do understand the point about not forcing your fetish onto other people, I just dont think that wearing certain clothing that people might find strange falls under that.

[NotToBigForDiapers]

I will probably get bashed for this but I think you should wear what you feel comfortable in. That is part of living in a free country. People wear clothes all the time that are part of there fetish or comfort. Why shouldn't we just because it is far from the normal.  Here is where I am coming from. I knew someone who wore high heels to feel sexy and found ita turn on if guys noticed. So by other peoples logic everyone should wear tennis shoes. How could she do that just for a turn on?  Or how about those skimpy swimsuits. Those gals don't wear them to just swim. They wear them to look hot! Not for my taste at all but they have the right to. Or the guy wearing tight jeans to show off his private bulge. I personally don't like that. Yet I knew someone who always did and admitted he liked the attention and it was a turn on, yet he was dressed in what we called normal attire. Or how about the off the wall hippie in there strange clothes. Sure they get plenty of looks. I find that personally offensive but accept it. They are not hounding me to be hippie, just dressing as they please. Being free means everyone can make a free choice, not just what we agree with. 

So where am I going with this. I like to wear diapers and my diapers are quite thick and leave a obvious diaper bulge. I wear them for comfort same as my underwear. They are also part of my fetish no doubt but when I wear out it is about being me, comfortable, and useful. Mostly I wear my normal clothes over and do my business as normal. Yes I have got noticed from time to time but mostly people are obvious. Although it is obvious just due to the nature of it I don't flaunt it. Like the gal that wears a dress to feel sexy or sweat pants to feel comfortable I have worn my onsie out. Plain and  baby print. It was the mood I was in and made me feel good and I find them super comfortable. Bonus was it helps hold my diapers up draw back was my diapers now have no shirt tail to cover it. But I liked the look just as much as the gal in the short skirt, skimpy swim suit, or man in tight pants. It was my look for the day. Now I know it was not "normal" but I went about and did my things just like any body else. I don't get anymore attention than  someone dressed in goth. I have used my sippy cup in public due to my choice. It was my favorite cup. I carry a diaper bag that looks like a backpack and nobody has noticed. In fact twice I was asked where I found one with pockets like that. I pointed out it was a diaper bag. Ironically neither noticed the bulging diaper I had in my pants. So I guess what I am saying is dress comfortable with respect. Don't do it just to be noticed, but just cause my choice of clothes falls outside of the normal range or I find them sexy will not limit me. It should not either. My gal will wear hot Lacy underwear under her clothes just to feel good and sexy. I wear a diaper under mine sometimes for the same reason. That's my two cents.

[DprDJeff]

I think setting really matters. Personally, I'm not a fan of blatant kinky attire anywhere children might be present. However, it's generally not any worse than the way many people already dress these days. When I'm in Seattle, I often see kinksters walking the streets in all sorts of kinky outfits. If you're obviously doing it for sexual arousal, then it becomes a problem. If it's how you feel comfortable, then knock yourself out.

[drynot]

Honestly...I could really care less about how or what people think.  Do what you like.  Life is far too short and fragile to get mixed up in worrying about what people think of you.

[FretaBWet]

I live in the U. S. where freedom of speech and pursuit of happiness is enshrined in the constitution. The language is grand but in practice it can and has fallen short at times. It seems the practice is subject to the whims of the majority and as such ever changing. The rules on what is acceptable by society are based on  the whims of the majority. This is the reason it is always changing, because the majority is always shifting and changing. Since societies’ rules are ever changing they are largely arbitrary, capricious  and fickle.

The people that are driving change are the ones on the fringe. They are always the ones driving change. They challenge the rules and by doing so they call society’s bluff. Society sets a boundary and tells you not to step over the line and you step over the line. You don’t step over it in the comfort of your home, you step over it publicly. Most of us don’t have the courage it takes to be out there on the fringe. I will at least stand up for those that want to live outside the boundaries most of us willingly accept.

Hugs,

Freta