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What Jack Wants (a microstory)


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Jack polished his new purchase. He'd found it in an attic clearance sale and thought he'd be able to sell it at auction for a tidy profit. As he rubbed his new lamp the obvious happened.

"Go on then," said the Genie, a strange Glaswegian accent making the words hard to decipher, "what are they?"

In surprise Jack thought quickly. Wealth, a faithful partner and immortality sounded like sensible options. But genies liked to play tricks, so he'd need to think this through.

Rather than ask to be rich he went opted to play it safe, "I wish that all my needs were catered for, for the rest of my life."

"Ok, I can do that," said the Genie, inexplicably speaking with a Geordie accent.

Jack knew that asking for his ideal woman needed far too much precision and the genie would find and exploit any gap he left, so he opted for a different approach. "I wish women would always love me," he declared.

"Ok, I can do that," said the Genie, its words spoken in a clipped Ukrainian accent.

Jack felt this was going well, but knew asking for immortality would curse him to perpetual old age. He nimbly circumvented that danger with his final request, "I wish I was forever young."

"Ok, I can do that," said the Genie, in a surprisingly thick Tennessee accent.

"Awesome," said Jack, "What happens next?"

"Well," said the Genie, its obscure Patagonian accent unrecognisable, "all women love baby girls and instinctively look after their every need. Enjoy eternity, Janice."

The Genie clicked its fingers in a camp French manner and disappeared, along with the lamp, Jack's workshop and his clothes. Jack gasped in horror even as he shrank in size, ending up unsteady on her feet, looking up at the knees of an attractive twenty-something woman in a short black skirt and grey tights. 

"Come on Janice," said the woman, picking her up, "lets get you into a nice clean diaper ready for bed."

  • Haha 1
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  • 2 weeks later...

I liked it. Who wouldn’t want to have eternal youth and be loved while having all your needs or wants taken care of? I am not sure if being a baby would meet all my wants though. Still I am sure she would be very happy. 

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Dear Nana Abby,

very slowly a pearl begins to shine - 

I think it will be an honor to be your companion to the high art of writing...

                       With my best wishes

                                 Diddldum

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  • 4 months later...

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