Struggling......

[TxDiaperGuy]

I have been dealing with incontence issues sporadically for the last several years. 

Started out as needing to go frequently, then to dribbling, then to needing to go and sometimes not making it to the bathroom in time and going in my pants. If I tried real hard, I could slow the steam, but not stop it then. 

It now just happens sometimes with no warning and I can’t tell I’m going until I feel wet. It has ranged from a single occurrence  at times to lasting a couple of weeks around the clock, then gets better. But it is starting to happen more and more frequently now. 

My Dr hasn’t helped much other than to offer Rx, which I can’t handle the side effects. 

Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so, did it result in full time incontenence for you? 

Struggling....... 

[stevewet]

2 hours ago, TxDiaperGuy said:

I have been dealing with incontence issues sporadically for the last several years. 

Started out as needing to go frequently, then to dribbling, then to needing to go and sometimes not making it to the bathroom in time and going in my pants. If I tried real hard, I could slow the steam, but not stop it then. 

It now just happens sometimes with no warning and I can’t tell I’m going until I feel wet. It has ranged from a single occurrence  at times to lasting a couple of weeks around the clock, then gets better. But it is starting to happen more and more frequently now. 

My Dr hasn’t helped much other than to offer Rx, which I can’t handle the side effects. 

Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so, did it result in full time incontenence for you? 

Struggling....... 

I experienced something similar and it steadily got worse. I have been in nappies 24/7 for the last 7 years.

[joemama]

You are most definitely not alone.  I am about the same age and a guy.  My problems started about the same.  I would find wet underwear after visiting the bathroom.  Then after a while I found an unexpected laugh or sneeze would cause a bit more than just a little squirt.  I tried pad and they worked for a bit but I found as a guy things move and the pads were about half the time in the wrong orientation.  After confessing to my wife, she laughed.  She had just had our first child and I had no idea, but she had something similar.  Obviously different reasons, but told me I was silly for being embarrassed.  I went to doctors who put scopes in, measured rates and volumes, and then provided no means of explaining the troubles.  They pushed drugs of all types and after enduring the headaches, dry mouth, and other side effect only to find they reduce the urge, but I still had to wear pads.  I gave up and tried pull ups.  The Walgreens/CVS/etc stores sucked.  They all were like wearing an itchy dish towel at best.  I tried some online resources and found Abena pull ups.  They worked well, but the problems continued to get worse.  I tried adding boosters and it helped.  One day I went out with some business associates and over dinner outside on a humid and warm evening, I had no idea how far things had progressed.  We stood up and felt my butt was wet.  Not damp, my pants were beige and there was no hiding that I was wet from hips to ankles.   They asked what happened and I had no choice but to tell them I had a problem.  I spent the next 15-20 min in the restroom trying to dry out.  It was no help.  The humidity would not allow it.  I finally walked back to the bar they had stopped at and we wall walked back to the hotel, me trying to follow.  I got comments the whole way back from people on the streets.  They never said another word after we went to our rooms and I appreciated that, but it really set in with me that I needed to address this.  I resigned to trying full on adult diapers.  They worked!  I did not like them, the crinkle, the bulge in my front made me look like I had a fat pad there.  Being a slim guy it was obvious to me that it was a diaper.  I found that once soaked, toward the back I would get a butt that was flat and showed I had a diaper from the rear as well.  My wife suggested women's control panties.   I tried them and found they helped.  It keeps things shapely if you will.  I added to this mix plastic pants.  In the summers it just flat sucks, but if I have a leak it controls it and the panties will soak up the leaks somewhat.   Add a onesie to the mix to prevent the shirt rise and pants dropping when bending down showing your diaper and you have my set up.  I find it odd being 40 something, in a diaper, wearing panties and plastic pants.  However, life goes on.  Days are better and worse, but I have found since that day not one person has ever noticed or at least has not said anything.

My kids are of the age that I had to explain to them.  Sex is frustrating and has dropped off significantly as if I put a diaper on to go to bed, it kind of kills any mood and spontaneity.  However, if you find a code word that works, you can share it with your wife and make appropriate plans around things. 

A good mattress cover is mandatory and these days there are good breathable ones that cover the bed and will not upset others in it not dealing with the same issues.

At the end of it all - life goes on.  You are not alone, and you will find a way to deal with it.  It is like others have said - glasses for bad eye sight, crutches for broken legs, you will find diapers for incontinence is just another aid to get through life with I hope. 

I wish you the best and hope you do not feel alone.  These boards while focused a bit on what some consider fetish - are great resources for both sides of the conversation.  There are good people that diaper for different reasons.  If there is anything you need guidance on, please let us all know.  They will all help for sure.

Welcome!

 

[rusty pins]

Have you been seen by a Urologist?  If just by your regular doctor, I would ask for a referral to a good urologist just to double check.  Age can have it's effects on your body, also things like diabetes, prostate problems, being overweight and all that.  Age doesn't always mean incontinence though.  My dad was almost 99 years old (would have been this very day) when he passed away last month and he had perfect control of his bladder and bowels.  Never had a need for diapers.

[Bettypooh]

At this point it would be good to get a specialist involved, but know ahead of time that most often there's not much they can do for you. It's worth trying because you might be the lucky one. Get your Doctor to recommend a Urologist to you and after they're done you'll at least know more of what to expect in the future.

Incontinence doesn't need to inhibit your lifestyle, but it does require good management. Folks here can help you with that part but you need to know where you stand Medically as incontinence can sometimes be caused by serious conditions you don't want to be ignoring or missing.

Bettypooh

[Clr224]

Getting a urologist involved is also a good idea because incontinence is only a symptom.  There is an underlying cause that needs to be diagnosed.  Sometimes doctors can’t point to a specific cause, but they can eliminate some possible ones with life threatening consequences by thorough examinations and testing. 

[TxDiaperGuy]

16 hours ago, stevewet said:

I experienced something similar and it steadily got worse. I have been in nappies 24/7 for the last 7 years.

Thanks stevewet, that does seem to be the same path I’m headed down. 

 

16 hours ago, joemama said:

You are most definitely not alone.  I am about the same age and a guy.  My problems started about the same.  I would find wet underwear after visiting the bathroom.  Then after a while I found an unexpected laugh or sneeze would cause a bit more than just a little squirt.  I tried pad and they worked for a bit but I found as a guy things move and the pads were about half the time in the wrong orientation.  After confessing to my wife, she laughed.  She had just had our first child and I had no idea, but she had something similar.  Obviously different reasons, but told me I was silly for being embarrassed.  I went to doctors who put scopes in, measured rates and volumes, and then provided no means of explaining the troubles.  They pushed drugs of all types and after enduring the headaches, dry mouth, and other side effect only to find they reduce the urge, but I still had to wear pads.  I gave up and tried pull ups.  The Walgreens/CVS/etc stores sucked.  They all were like wearing an itchy dish towel at best.  I tried some online resources and found Abena pull ups.  They worked well, but the problems continued to get worse.  I tried adding boosters and it helped.  One day I went out with some business associates and over dinner outside on a humid and warm evening, I had no idea how far things had progressed.  We stood up and felt my butt was wet.  Not damp, my pants were beige and there was no hiding that I was wet from hips to ankles.   They asked what happened and I had no choice but to tell them I had a problem.  I spent the next 15-20 min in the restroom trying to dry out.  It was no help.  The humidity would not allow it.  I finally walked back to the bar they had stopped at and we wall walked back to the hotel, me trying to follow.  I got comments the whole way back from people on the streets.  They never said another word after we went to our rooms and I appreciated that, but it really set in with me that I needed to address this.  I resigned to trying full on adult diapers.  They worked!  I did not like them, the crinkle, the bulge in my front made me look like I had a fat pad there.  Being a slim guy it was obvious to me that it was a diaper.  I found that once soaked, toward the back I would get a butt that was flat and showed I had a diaper from the rear as well.  My wife suggested women's control panties.   I tried them and found they helped.  It keeps things shapely if you will.  I added to this mix plastic pants.  In the summers it just flat sucks, but if I have a leak it controls it and the panties will soak up the leaks somewhat.   Add a onesie to the mix to prevent the shirt rise and pants dropping when bending down showing your diaper and you have my set up.  I find it odd being 40 something, in a diaper, wearing panties and plastic pants.  However, life goes on.  Days are better and worse, but I have found since that day not one person has ever noticed or at least has not said anything.

My kids are of the age that I had to explain to them.  Sex is frustrating and has dropped off significantly as if I put a diaper on to go to bed, it kind of kills any mood and spontaneity.  However, if you find a code word that works, you can share it with your wife and make appropriate plans around things. 

A good mattress cover is mandatory and these days there are good breathable ones that cover the bed and will not upset others in it not dealing with the same issues.

At the end of it all - life goes on.  You are not alone, and you will find a way to deal with it.  It is like others have said - glasses for bad eye sight, crutches for broken legs, you will find diapers for incontinence is just another aid to get through life with I hope. 

I wish you the best and hope you do not feel alone.  These boards while focused a bit on what some consider fetish - are great resources for both sides of the conversation.  There are good people that diaper for different reasons.  If there is anything you need guidance on, please let us all know.  They will all help for sure.

Welcome!

 

Thanks joemana. 

Unfortunately I have had some similar experiences of wetting in super awkward situations. Good to hear I’m not the only one, but sorry you had to go through it. Devastating when it happens.  

Thank you for your advice as I try to steer my way through this. 

Ive started and stopped wearing continually until the next embarrassing situation. Which I need to move past and just start wearing all the time it sounds like.   

[TxDiaperGuy]

4 hours ago, rusty pins said:

Have you been seen by a Urologist?  If just by your regular doctor, I would ask for a referral to a good urologist just to double check.  Age can have it's effects on your body, also things like diabetes, prostate problems, being overweight and all that.  Age doesn't always mean incontinence though.  My dad was almost 99 years old (would have been this very day) when he passed away last month and he had perfect control of his bladder and bowels.  Never had a need for diapers.

Hi rusty. 

Yeah, I should have been clearer, the Dr I referred too was a Urologist who has run all kinds of tests, both not long after it started and again a couple of weeks ago. He cannot find a cause of my incontenence, but says it’s progressing and again offered to write a script for it and I declined. Can’t do the headaches and dry mouth. 

I keep hoping it just stops, but am coming to the realization that’s probably not the case. 

3 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

At this point it would be good to get a specialist involved, but know ahead of time that most often there's not much they can do for you. It's worth trying because you might be the lucky one. Get your Doctor to recommend a Urologist to you and after they're done you'll at least know more of what to expect in the future.

Incontinence doesn't need to inhibit your lifestyle, but it does require good management. Folks here can help you with that part but you need to know where you stand Medically as incontinence can sometimes be caused by serious conditions you don't want to be ignoring or missing.

Bettypooh

Thanks Bettypooh! 

3 hours ago, Clr224 said:

Getting a urologist involved is also a good idea because incontinence is only a symptom.  There is an underlying cause that needs to be diagnosed.  Sometimes doctors can’t point to a specific cause, but they can eliminate some possible ones with life threatening consequences by thorough examinations and testing. 

Thanks Cir224! 

18 hours ago, TxDiaperGuy said:

I have been dealing with incontence issues sporadically for the last several years. 

Started out as needing to go frequently, then to dribbling, then to needing to go and sometimes not making it to the bathroom in time and going in my pants. If I tried real hard, I could slow the steam, but not stop it then. 

It now just happens sometimes with no warning and I can’t tell I’m going until I feel wet. It has ranged from a single occurrence  at times to lasting a couple of weeks around the clock, then gets better. But it is starting to happen more and more frequently now. 

My Dr hasn’t helped much other than to offer Rx, which I can’t handle the side effects. 

Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so, did it result in full time incontenence for you? 

Struggling....... 

I think my biggest struggle right now is wrapping my head around that this is probably not going to just stop and that I have to wear protection all the time along with all the stuff that comes along with it. 

I am paranoid everyone can tell I’m diapered by sight or smell and don’t even get me started on changing away from home ?. 

[Bettypooh]

Time and experience will ease your worries about your protection going unnoticed by almost everyone. Darn few people pay that much attention to your shape and appearance, and even then with good choices in clothing it will still be indistinguishable. When I make a full effort at discretion nobody knows, but I don't often do that as it doesn't bother me much. Even with my "relaxed" approach darn few people have noticed and in 5+ years nobody has said one word, including several who positively knew. And there's alternatives in catheters and bags which may work well for you.

If you try not to let this become a negative thing then it will rarely be that. It's just something you had no choice in and it could happen to anyone. It needn't define or limit you unless you allow that to happen. It can be successfully managed with nobody the wiser if you do that well, and we're here to help with the management part.

Bettypooh

[TxDiaperGuy]

1 hour ago, Bettypooh said:

Time and experience will ease your worries about your protection going unnoticed by almost everyone. Darn few people pay that much attention to your shape and appearance, and even then with good choices in clothing it will still be indistinguishable. When I make a full effort at discretion nobody knows, but I don't often do that as it doesn't bother me much. Even with my "relaxed" approach darn few people have noticed and in 5+ years nobody has said one word, including several who positively knew. And there's alternatives in catheters and bags which may work well for you.

If you try not to let this become a negative thing then it will rarely be that. It's just something you had no choice in and it could happen to anyone. It needn't define or limit you unless you allow that to happen. It can be successfully managed with nobody the wiser if you do that well, and we're here to help with the management part.

Bettypooh

Thanks Bettypooh ? 

[Newbee]

Hi,

I know exactly how you feeling I was diagnosed as incontinent about 6 months ago I was offered medication but after my husband and I did some research we decided that I didn’t want the medication and so my life into diapers 24/7 started. I have found it hard to come to terms with and I still have my days now where I wish this would go away but the common sense part of me knows that’s not going to happen. I have been very lucky that I have a very loving, caring and understanding husband and I also have another very special person in my life  that has helped me through this. Take it one day at a time if you know that you have to go out and you are worried about changing away from home my suggestion would be change into a fresh diaper just before you leave and depending on the kind of diapers you are using you will be fine for several hours. It’s taken me a long time but I have finally realised that nobody will notice that you a wearing a diaper trust me I have now got comfortable wearing a diaper in public that I now wear crinklz diapers out of the house and if anybody has noticed nobody has said anything not even my children have noticed. It does get easier with time and just remember we are all here for you.

[mick_dl]

I just can talk about my own experiances and I can say the UIC problems not nessesarily have to become worse over the time. These problems are normaly an indicator for an overlaying disease. Not all of them are incurable, actually most of them are curable and mostly the continence can be improved significantly. It may takes some time to find the reason and normaly  it needs the active involvment of yourself but in the end things don’t have to end up nessesarily in a full lost of bladder control. 

You may get a diiferent view if you read thrue all the boards - but be aware that you will find here mostly people that either love to wear diapers or have to wear them because they fall into the group of them were the underlaying problems for the UIC are unluckily not cureable. This is by the way also a problem from most of the support groups - if people are cured they normaly leave the group and you will find only those who try to cope with there proplems.

But anyway - just to came up with somthing more constructiv: My experiances with doc are similar to that what others wrote here. What had helped me was a 3 weeks training in a specialized rehabilitation clinic and a continuous training with a specialized PT. So I just like to say - there might be hope, but unluckily there is not that much support from the Dr’s as long as you not start to speed up things by yourself. Dr’s earn there mony with expencive machines that try to find root causes or with surgery. While a surgery may help in some cases the diagnose allown will not cure you. And the treatment is normaly up to the PT’s and BT’s. So it might be a starting point to ask the doc about treatment options beside drugs and surgery.

 

[TxDiaperGuy]

20 hours ago, Newbee said:

Hi,

I know exactly how you feeling I was diagnosed as incontinent about 6 months ago I was offered medication but after my husband and I did some research we decided that I didn’t want the medication and so my life into diapers 24/7 started. I have found it hard to come to terms with and I still have my days now where I wish this would go away but the common sense part of me knows that’s not going to happen. I have been very lucky that I have a very loving, caring and understanding husband and I also have another very special person in my life  that has helped me through this. Take it one day at a time if you know that you have to go out and you are worried about changing away from home my suggestion would be change into a fresh diaper just before you leave and depending on the kind of diapers you are using you will be fine for several hours. It’s taken me a long time but I have finally realised that nobody will notice that you a wearing a diaper trust me I have now got comfortable wearing a diaper in public that I now wear crinklz diapers out of the house and if anybody has noticed nobody has said anything not even my children have noticed. It does get easier with time and just remember we are all here for you.

Thank you Newbee, always good to hear from others that are going or have gone through the same thing and see that they have come out the other side OK! 

8 hours ago, mick_dl said:

I just can talk about my own experiances and I can say the UIC problems not nessesarily have to become worse over the time. These problems are normaly an indicator for an overlaying disease. Not all of them are incurable, actually most of them are curable and mostly the continence can be improved significantly. It may takes some time to find the reason and normaly  it needs the active involvment of yourself but in the end things don’t have to end up nessesarily in a full lost of bladder control. 

You may get a diiferent view if you read thrue all the boards - but be aware that you will find here mostly people that either love to wear diapers or have to wear them because they fall into the group of them were the underlaying problems for the UIC are unluckily not cureable. This is by the way also a problem from most of the support groups - if people are cured they normaly leave the group and you will find only those who try to cope with there proplems.

But anyway - just to came up with somthing more constructiv: My experiances with doc are similar to that what others wrote here. What had helped me was a 3 weeks training in a specialized rehabilitation clinic and a continuous training with a specialized PT. So I just like to say - there might be hope, but unluckily there is not that much support from the Dr’s as long as you not start to speed up things by yourself. Dr’s earn there mony with expencive machines that try to find root causes or with surgery. While a surgery may help in some cases the diagnose allown will not cure you. And the treatment is normaly up to the PT’s and BT’s. So it might be a starting point to ask the doc about treatment options beside drugs and surgery.

 

Thanks mick_dl for your insight. There has been no mention of a surgery yet by my uro, he just really pushes the drugs, but that could always change. 

He kind of has the attitude of see you in 6 months and if you don’t want to take the drugs Fine. He has brought up condom caths and a bag, but the ones I tried previously just come off and I’m back with wet pants or bed where I started. He said he cannot find anything wrong with me other than I can’t retain urine. But that it does look like I’m progressing. 

[mick_dl]

Hey Tx, 

I think these are most likly good news for you - because if the doc can't find anything serious there basically good chances to improve your situation. There are lot's of things that can be done to improve your continence beside of drugs, starting with avoiding some drings and foods that are prone for causing urges, bladder training, Kegel... I think you should ask for a specialized physiotherapist because he can help you probably much more then the doc with his pills.

From that what you telling - and if the doc had excluded the prostate - I would suggest to make a appointment with a specialized PT and let him check the tension of your pelvic floor. There are two conditions that may cause your sympthoms: The first one is a week pelvic floor, the second is a hypertensive pelvic floor. Unfortunately the second condition is not that prominent in the minds of the professionals because the knowlage about it is - compared to the rest pretty new. Men's are more over more likely to be affected by this but as women and - just to do some statistics 4 women compared to 1 men have probems with stress UIC in your age. More over the pad test might be negative with a hypertensiv pelvic floor. This my explain the blindness of some Dr's a little bit because OAB is much more common for men in your age and if the doc doesn't find something wrong with the UD then he tend to diagnose OAB first. 

How ever - the good news is - in both cases a PT can help - ether with Kegel or with relaxation exercises. If it is mixed (stress + OAB) a behavioral therapist - or even the PT can help to learn techniques to overcome urge situations.