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Telling a Friend


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Let me start by saying that I never have any desire to be completely out of the closet with friends and family. This is a very private part of my life and I want it to remain that way. That being said, I've seen some people on these boards talk about experiences where they told close friends. Currently, I am contemplating MAYBE telling a close friend of mine about my ABDL side. But obviously there are some serious risks associated with that. I wouldn't want this to kill the friendship and I guess thats always a possibility. I suppose I'm looking for advice. 

First, some background: I've been platonic friends with this woman for over a year and we get along great. I'm not trying to date her and she just got out of a serious relationship so I don't think that she is trying to date me either. Even though we are platonic friends, we cuddle a lot. (Some people might consider that unusual but I think it works fine for us.) Honestly, when I curl up in her lap or when she puts her arm around me; I feel very safe and relaxed. It almost feels like (psychologically) my ABDL side comes out a little bit. For me personally, as an ABDL, the idea of feeling safe with a girl and snuggling up to her is way more appealing than the idea of having sex with her. We have also had many intimate conversations about deeply personal subjects. All things considered, I'd say we're fairly close. 

She is very open and accepting of alternative lifestyles and she doesn't seem to have a judgmental bone in her body. I don't think she'd be revolted to learn that I was ABDL. If anything, I think she might be fascinated by this whole world. But as I said before... telling this to anyone is a risk. Also - if I'm being entirely honest - I have thought about how nice it would be to snuggle up with her, fully clothed, wearing a diaper under my pants. I imagine it would feel pretty great... but of course, I would NEVER wear a diaper around her without her knowing. I'd be afraid of getting found out and I think it would be underhanded and dishonest. Going out in public to run errands with a diaper under your clothes isn't wrong by any means (not passing judgement on anyone there!)  I just think it would be wrong for me to do this around HER in a covert/sneaky/underhanded way. So I would ONLY wear around her if she knew about my ABDL side and felt comfortable with me wearing. Of course, she might be perfectly accepting of my ABDL side but have no desire to be around me while I'm wearing a diaper under my clothes. Thats a possibility too. Or maybe just knowing that I'm ABDL will make her uncomfortable? I don't know for sure. 

This is not part of some elaborate plan to get her to 'baby' me, change my diapers, etc. I don't think thats ever going to happen. But I'll admit that the idea of having an accepting friend who knows I wear diapers sometimes, who enjoys cuddling with me, who I can be myself around... that sounds very appealing. 

What do you guys think? Is this a crazy fantasy that will never be realized? Is telling someone who you are not romantically involved with just too much of a risk? Is it okay to share this with close friends in the interest of getting closer to others and finding emotional intimacy? Is it possible that I'll just be making my close friend uncomfortable? I'd love to hear all your opinions. Thanks in advance!

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I can't give you a distinct yes or no on this one, but I can give examples of people I've told in my life about my DL/little stuff, that are not my boyfriend (because he's my boyfriend of 15+ years, he gets it)

My good friend C is a gent I met at a Renaissance Faire.  We became accidental friends through a gent who would later be my Daddy Dom.  Go figure.  C is a very sexual human, and extremely intelligent and book-smart.  He willingly studies various sexual fetishes/paths, and if it was legal would be nude 24/7.  Like myself, he's part empath and always is there to lend an ear, offer a rune reading, or just watch TV.  He was probably the first I told about this, and he was extremely curious.  He had met a great many people, yet never a little, and was excited to hear/learn everything.  I know to this day he's never told a soul about this side of me, and I know if I ever needed a safe space, his home is open to me.

The second person I told was my Daddy-Dom.  Yes, I told him second.  DD sexually was into ageplay in the age-range form.  He likes lg's, but never had a girl who went so young she was back in diapers.  Considering the interesting fetishes I let him indulge in, he was ready to accept immediately.  We've never combined sexual encounters with my little side, but he does call me his little girl or baby girl, and we've done silly day trips like the zoo, local parks, and I'm small enough to be piggy-backed around!

The last person that knows about this side of me is my friend M.  M is literally a girl I fast befriended at a Renaissance Faire (I see a trend here) and my boyfriend and I refused to let her sleep at a train station, so she stayed with us.  M had tons of mutual friends with us, it's kind of a wonder we didn't know one another sooner.  Maybe because we worked on the opposite side of the same Faire ground?  Either way.  She was the one I was most on the fence with, but considering how much she was staying at my place, and how open we both were about fetishes/sexual experiences (She took me with her when she had her nipples pierced, that's friendship), it only made sense.  She doesn't care, and she's glad I can feel free and comfortable around her.

So sometimes it depends on the friend.  Look at the big picture; do you have those kind of conversations experiences with that friend?  I've NEVER even hinted at it with my vanilla friends, or my friends whose idea of kink is wearing a pair of high heels.  Heck, I can confirm that 99% of people I know haven't the foggiest idea what's in my pants, and I'd much rather keep it that way.

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I've told my best friend a few weeks ago for a few reasons. 1) I secretly knew that his ex was a little and always wanted to relate and talk about that side with them and 2) it just felt great to explain it rather than hide it any longer.

I was a little hesitant to tell him of course but here is some actual text on how I did it 

Me:Do you feel like there's certain things you can confide in me on with no judgement if you had to?”

Friend: " um absolutely" " I wouldn't hesitate to tell you anything"

Me: " good answer"

Friend: "Why do you have something to tell me?"

Me:  Something I'd "like to" tell you but still kinda shy about it. Let's just say a lot for me personally has happened recently. Bucket list stuff, liberating stuff. Things that make me feel alive.

Now at this point I feel like my friend needs to give up something in order to make me feel comfortable about my secret so knowing that he done some weird stuff in the bedroom, I ask him to list a few to ease my comfort. No I'm not going to list any more of the conversation but he spilled his beans and so did I. How did it end? He was accepting and actually already knew....see his (little) girlfriend talked to my wife a while back, comparing their men or whatever women do. So it made sense.

Now I'm not saying that everyone should out themselves as many people react differently. I was fortunate to have a pretty awesome (and far from vanilla) best friend. I think it's all about having a really great relationship with whomever that will make sharing of these things that much easier but also a better outcome.

 

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