Letting The People Around You Know You Are Wearing Diapers

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

Before making the decision to wear diapers permanently I routinely went out of the way to let strangers around me know I was wearing a diaper.  No, I did not pull my pants down and walk down the beach in nothing but a used diaper or intentionally leave the bathroom door unlocked so an innocent by stander could catch me diapering myself but I would most definitely hike my diaper up, loosen my pants, and bend over excessively.  If the top of my diaper became exposed I did not care.  I remember one day while wearing a backpack I could tell my shirt had ridden up and worked its way inside my diaper waistband.  Where I did not intentionally put my shirt inside my diaper I certainly knew it was there and my diaper was exposed.  I left it and walked through an entire airport terminal in this state.

I used to also buy the loudest plastic panties known to the world and wear then over my diaper with a pair of loose fitting shorts.  It would literally sound like I was walking down the hall wearing a garbage bag.  Everyone heard without question but I am never sure if they know it is an actual diaper.

I thought I was through this phase but yesterday I decided to have a layer free day.  As I have posted on here many times I wear multiple layers over my diaper to both contain leaks and to make even the thickest and noisiest diapers almost completely undetectable.  I simply went out and about in a ABU Simple with a pair of loose fitting basketball shorts and a long t-shirt.  I wanted to "air" out so to speak.  I had no attentions of pushing my fetish on others.  I did not find myself bending over excessively or anything like that but almost immediately I could tell the crinkle was undeniable especially walking down the hallway of the quiet hotel.  All I had to do was turn around and go and put a pair of jeans on and my diaper would not have been noticeable.  I did not.  Instead I walked by everyone crinkling away in both the hotel and at the two antique stores I visited. 

I know many ABDL's that believe that people around them cannot hear the crinkle of a diaper but I can tell you without a doubt that is not accurate.  I know when people hear my diaper crinkling loudly as they will look up at me and stare.  One time I even had a couple who would not ride the elevator with me because they were behind me as I crinkled down the hallway.  The female of the couple looked at me and almost seemed to feel sorry for me as the elevator doors closed.  This is all from simple wearing loose fitting shorts and a very crinkly diaper.

Back to yesterday,  I know a dozen or so people knew I was wearing a diaper and did not really care.  I honestly not know if it this is because I wanted to be embarrassed and humiliated or if wearing diapers permanently has just made me overly secure and not really give a shit.  I know public changes now for me are so much easier and I will honestly walk right into the stall with a clean diaper in my hand and right out with my used one.

Am I wrong here?  Is it a gray area?  I know I have matured a lot when comes to wearing diapers but I also know there still is and always will be a humiliation element for me wearing diapers permanently.

For those that are older back in the day disposable diapers were must louder.  Did people stare when you wore the old Depends or Attends?  Did you care?

[le Hollandais]

Normally I am a pretty private person. So I prefer to keep my diapers on at home. Should I in years to come develop a medical need for diapers, I'll deal with that if and when the time comes.

[Dubious]

That will never happen to me unless I get medical incontinent or gets into an accident where the diaper gets exposed 

I have worn 24/7 for over a year now and don't have any plans to stop

Closest I have come to showing off is on Tuesday when I wore Tykables onesie as my t-shirt, where I could feel the diaper sticking up from my pants and didn't care as the onesie/t-shirt wouldn't rise up from pants

[spark]

3 hours ago, Dubious said:

That will never happen to me unless I get medical incontinent or gets into an accident where the diaper gets exposed 

I have worn 24/7 for over a year now and don't have any plans to stop

Closest I have come to showing off is on Tuesday when I wore Tykables onesie as my t-shirt, where I could feel the diaper sticking up from my pants and didn't care as the onesie/t-shirt wouldn't rise up from pants

1

I'm in the same boat as you.   I don't wear 24/7, but pretty close to it.   I don't routinely have #2's in a diaper/pull up, but 95% of my #1's go in a diaper.     That means I wear diapers almost all of the time.  However, I don't think I've ever been noticed.  If I have, I 've never noticed it, or had somebody comment.

in most cases, I wear boxers over my diapers, which keeps the crinkly sound down and reduces accidental exposure. 

[fillemup]

I wear 24/7 for bladder and bowel incontinence. I keep my diaper very well concealed at all times so there is absolutely no chance of anyone seeing it. The only people that are aware I wear diapers are my doctor and her nurses. None of them have seen my diapers because this is a new doctor for me and there has been no reason for me to remove my jeans at my appointments. They are all very aware of my severe back problems and the associated incontinence that goes with it. It is only a matter of time before I will need to take my jeans off at an appointment, but none of them will be surprised when they see my diaper because they already know I am always wearing one.

[dyperbole]

Not sure what you are asking.  Is it illegal?  No.  Is it bad taste and bad manners?  Hell yes.

You've admitted that you have been actively trying to get people to notice you wearing a diaper, including people who you do not know and do not consent to being part of your fetish.  You're lucky that woman didn't call you a pervert as the elevator doors were closing.

Stop it.  You are the master of your domain.  You want to be humiliated, then do it in fantasy and/or roleplay with your significant other.  If you have to, take a chunk of your per diem money and go seek out a professional mommy dom.  But don't bring the general public into your humiliation kink.  And I get it -- I have a humiliation kink as part of my diaper fetish.  I'd love to be spanked and diapered and be made to walk around in my diapers in public.  But it will never happen, because I will never expose the general public to my kink.  

As for carrying a diaper in the bathroom, what's wrong with a little etiquette?   Most women don't go to ladies rooms, change their pads, and then throw away their bloody tampons/pads directly into the garbage -- they keep the pad/tampon in their purse and take it out once the stall door is closed, and place the used pad/tampon into a bag (usually provided) before tossing it into the garbage.  You know you will be changing your diaper -- put a new diaper in a bag and go into the stall, and then put the used diaper in the same bag on the way out before tossing it into the garbage.  

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

54 minutes ago, dyperbole said:

Not sure what you are asking.  Is it illegal?  No.  Is it bad taste and bad manners?  Hell yes.

You've admitted that you have been actively trying to get people to notice you wearing a diaper, including people who you do not know and do not consent to being part of your fetish.  You're lucky that woman didn't call you a pervert as the elevator doors were closing.

Stop it.  You are the master of your domain.  You want to be humiliated, then do it in fantasy and/or roleplay with your significant other.  If you have to, take a chunk of your per diem money and go seek out a professional mommy dom.  But don't bring the general public into your humiliation kink.  And I get it -- I have a humiliation kink as part of my diaper fetish.  I'd love to be spanked and diapered and be made to walk around in my diapers in public.  But it will never happen, because I will never expose the general public to my kink.  

As for carrying a diaper in the bathroom, what's wrong with a little etiquette?   Most women don't go to ladies rooms, change their pads, and then throw away their bloody tampons/pads directly into the garbage -- they keep the pad/tampon in their purse and take it out once the stall door is closed, and place the used pad/tampon into a bag (usually provided) before tossing it into the garbage.  You know you will be changing your diaper -- put a new diaper in a bag and go into the stall, and then put the used diaper in the same bag on the way out before tossing it into the garbage.  

I respect your opinion but other than changing my diaper I do not expose anyone to my diaper anymore.  As I said, I used to.  The question was about sound.  If you know your diaper is crinkly does that matter?  I am not ashamed of taking a diaper to the restroom.  It is plain white and at this point I am incontinent.  I do not hold it out for everyone to see.  It is tucked always under my arm, both a clean one and the dirty one.  It goes straight in the trash.  

I have a Dommy Mommy, I am in diapers permanently and am a full time cuckold.  I certainly do not need to hire a professional one to entertain my fantasies.  

I am always honest here and I understand some people will not understand me.  That's  fine...you do you and I will stay me.

The question asked which you did not answer was how did people handle the crinkle back when diapers were loud as shit?  Did you just not care?

[dyperbole]

32 minutes ago, MarkSmith said:

I respect your opinion but other than changing my diaper I do not expose anyone to my diaper anymore.  As I said, I used to.  The question was about sound.  If you know your diaper is crinkly does that matter?  I am not ashamed of taking a diaper to the restroom.  It is plain white and at this point I am incontinent.  I do not hold it out for everyone to see.  It is tucked always under my arm, both a clean one and the dirty one.  It goes straight in the trash.  

 

Your post said verbatim:  I know public changes now for me are so much easier and I will honestly walk right into the stall with a clean diaper in my hand and right out with my used one.  Now you claim it is always tucked under your arm.  So I'm confused.....which is it?

I have a Dommy Mommy, I am in diapers permanently and am a full time cuckold.  I certainly do not need to hire a professional one to entertain my fantasies.  

And yet there you are in a hotel trying to get people to notice you wearing diapers.  IIRC, you have claimed in the past to work 80-100 hours a week and are frequently on the road.  If you are having issues keeping your humiliation kink in check while you are on the road, then consider finding a local mommy dom where you are at, or curtail that activity until you get home.

The question asked which you did not answer was how did people handle the crinkle back when diapers were loud as shit?  Did you just not care?

No.  Your post was long and it was hard to follow just what response you wanted.  The post title and the vast majority of what you typed had nothing to do with your question.  Notice none of the other users responding answered the question, either.  Consider using TL;DRs in the future when there's a specific point you want answered.  

As for my answer, they weren't any louder than ones that are out there today.  Not sure where you are getting the idea they were.  My first experience with Depends was that they were fairly silent.  Certainly nothing near as loud as PEVA panties are, which are somewhat newer.  Even when I wore my cobbled-together Pampers and other diapers, none of them were very loud; the sound was more of a rustle than a crinkle.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

21 minutes ago, dyperbole said:

Your post said verbatim:  I know public changes now for me are so much easier and I will honestly walk right into the stall with a clean diaper in my hand and right out with my used one.  Now you claim it is always tucked under your arm.  So I'm confused.....which is it?

I have a Dommy Mommy, I am in diapers permanently and am a full time cuckold.  I certainly do not need to hire a professional one to entertain my fantasies.  

And yet there you are in a hotel trying to get people to notice you wearing diapers.  IIRC, you have claimed in the past to work 80-100 hours a week and are frequently on the road.  If you are having issues keeping your humiliation kink in check while you are on the road, then consider finding a local mommy dom where you are at, or curtail that activity until you get home.

The question asked which you did not answer was how did people handle the crinkle back when diapers were loud as shit?  Did you just not care?

No.  Your post was long and it was hard to follow just what response you wanted.  The post title and the vast majority of what you typed had nothing to do with your question.  Consider using TL;DRs in the future when there's a specific point you want answered.

As for my answer, they weren't any louder than ones that are out there today.  Not sure where you are getting the idea they were.  My first experience with Depends was that they were fairly silent.  Certainly nothing near as loud as PEVA panties are, which are somewhat newer.  Even when I wore my cobbled-together Pampers and other diapers, none of them were very loud; the sound was more of a rustle than a crinkle.

Once again I must respectfully  disagree.  I own both Depends and Attends from the 1980's and they are by FAR louder than any diaper made today without question.

The specific incident I told you about at the hotel was in 2011.  Key word was "one time". I did not say it just happened.  You seem to be content on pointing out what you want.  What you fail to mention is anything about the fact I have mentioned I matured and do not do those things anymore.

You will never convince me that changing my diaper in public is exposing my fetish.  

Also I love how you put I claimed to have worked 80-100 hours as if I am not telling the truth...attached my favorite pay stub for you.

[dyperbole]

25 minutes ago, MarkSmith said:

Once again I must respectfully  disagree.  I own both Depends and Attends from the 1980's and they are by FAR louder than any diaper made today without question.

The specific incident I told you about at the hotel was in 2011.  Key word was "one time". I did not say it just happened.  You seem to be content on pointing out what you want.  What you fail to mention is anything about the fact I have mentioned I matured and do not do those things anymore.

You will never convince me that changing my diaper in public is exposing my fetish.  

I do question it.  I wore them off and on.  They weren't that loud.  If you have 30+ year old Attends and Depends, then consider the possibility that 30+ years of aging can affect the diaper.  For example, when plastic dries out, it becomes crinkly.  You asked for my opinion, you got it.  Just because it doesn't match what you think the answer should be doesn't make my opinion invalid.    

The specific incident I told you about at the hotel was in 2011.  Key word was "one time". I did not say it just happened.  You seem to be content on pointing out what you want.  What you fail to mention is anything about the fact I have mentioned I matured and do not do those things anymore.

Then you should have made it clearer that it happened in 2001 in your initial post.  Even so, then there's this:

Back to yesterday,  I know a dozen or so people knew I was wearing a diaper and did not really care.  I honestly not know if it this is because I wanted to be embarrassed and humiliated or if wearing diapers permanently has just made me overly secure and not really give a shit.

How did a dozen or so people know you were wearing a diaper yesterday?  The only context clues I have are from your post.

You will never convince me that changing my diaper in public is exposing my fetish. 

Well, changing your diaper in public would be the very definition of exposing your fetish.  What you likely meant to say was that carrying a diaper in and out of a bathroom isn't exposing your fetish to the public.  While I agree, the point on that is that you could consider the reactions of others in the bathroom and use a bag.  A little etiquette in this day and age is a good thing.

ETA:  Nobody cares that you work the hours you do.  The point wasn't that I thought you weren't working long hours. The point STILL is that if you work long hours on the road, having a mommy dom at home doesn't help you much with your humiliation kink.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

33 minutes ago, dyperbole said:

I do question it.  I wore them off and on.  They weren't that loud.  If you have 30+ year old Attends and Depends, then consider the possibility that 30+ years of aging can affect the diaper.  For example, when plastic dries out, it becomes crinkly.  You asked for my opinion, you got it.  Just because it doesn't match what you think the answer should be doesn't make my opinion invalid.    

The specific incident I told you about at the hotel was in 2011.  Key word was "one time". I did not say it just happened.  You seem to be content on pointing out what you want.  What you fail to mention is anything about the fact I have mentioned I matured and do not do those things anymore.

Then you should have made it clearer that it happened in 2001 in your initial post.  Even so, then there's this:

Back to yesterday,  I know a dozen or so people knew I was wearing a diaper and did not really care.  I honestly not know if it this is because I wanted to be embarrassed and humiliated or if wearing diapers permanently has just made me overly secure and not really give a shit.

How did a dozen or so people know you were wearing a diaper yesterday?  The only context clues I have are from your post.

You will never convince me that changing my diaper in public is exposing my fetish. 

Well, changing your diaper in public would be the very definition of exposing your fetish.  What you likely meant to say was that carrying a diaper in and out of a bathroom isn't exposing your fetish to the public.  While I agree, the point on that is that you could consider the reactions of others in the bathroom and use a bag.  A little etiquette in this day and age is a good thing.

Reading my post in its entirety I will agree with you it was kind of a shot gun blast.  Usually I formulate my words better than that but it was written after working third shift for half the night and then heading in on first shift the next morning.  I think I was half asleep as it definitely has a lot of rambling going on in it.

I have no idea if diapers become more crinkly with age but it would make since to say that they do.  I will say however, I have seen many posts highlighting how crinkly the older Attends were.  As I was still in baby diapers in the early 80's I have no way of knowing what Attends sound like when first made.  I do know the crinkliness I remember about wearing diapers as a juvenile insures I will never own anything but a plastic backed diaper.

I used to always use a backpack...now that backpack smells like pissy diapers.  Maybe that is my change in what you consider proper diaper etiquette I am not sure.  I do know, which I will agree I did not make clear, is that I do not feel like I am seeking out humiliation intentionally by carrying a diaper to the trash.  I have sought out diaper humiliation in public and know what is feels like and this is not that.  I guess if anything I am guilty of being overly secure about wearing diapers now.

@dyperbole I will apologize for being overly defenisve.  You had valid points and actually did answer the true question I wanted to know based off of actual experience.  

[dyperbole]

11 minutes ago, MarkSmith said:

I have no idea if diapers become more crinkly with age but it would make since to say that they do.  I will say however, I have seen many posts highlighting how crinkly the older Attends were.  As I was still in baby diapers in the early 80's I have no way of knowing what Attends sound like when first made.  I do know the crinkliness I remember about wearing diapers as a juvenile insures I will never own anything but a plastic backed diaper.

I used to always use a backpack...now that backpack smells like pissy diapers.  Maybe that is my change in what you consider proper diaper etiquette I am not sure.  I do know, which I will agree I did not make clear, is that I do not feel like I am seeking out humiliation intentionally by carrying a diaper to the trash.  I have sought out diaper humiliation in public and know what is feels like and this is not that.  I guess if anything I am guilty of being overly secure about wearing diapers now.

True, and those opinions are as valid as mine.  Different ABDLs have had different experiences with the same diapers.  

Your reality is that you change your diapers several times a day, and sometimes you have to do it in public bathrooms.  Since you are carrying the diapers anyway, why not have bags such as Fresh Sacks that you can use to dispose of the diaper?  A box of them is light, and a Fresh Sack helps contain whatever odors are in the diaper (as you know, stale urine does smell).  I've also used grocery plastic bags, Glad bags, etc.  Someone eventually has to empty the garbage can, and anything us ABDLs can do to make it less stinky is a good thing to do.  Another reason to use something like Fresh Sacks is simply to help disguise what exactly you are throwing away.  While some people may know you are throwing away a diaper no matter how you disguise it, most people probably wouldn't give a bag a second look.  However, most people know what a diaper looks like.  A little discretion is a good thing.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

7 minutes ago, dyperbole said:

True, and those opinions are as valid as mine.  Different ABDLs have had different experiences with the same diapers.  

Your reality is that you change your diapers several times a day, and sometimes you have to do it in public bathrooms.  Since you are carrying the diapers anyway, why not have bags such as Fresh Sacks that you can use to dispose of the diaper?  A box of them is light, and a Fresh Sack helps contain whatever odors are in the diaper (as you know, stale urine does smell).  I've also used grocery plastic bags, Glad bags, etc.  Someone eventually has to empty the garbage can, and anything us ABDLs can do to make it less stinky is a good thing to do.  Another reason to use something like Fresh Sacks is simply to help disguise what exactly you are throwing away.  While some people may know you are throwing away a diaper no matter how you disguise it, most people probably wouldn't give a bag a second look.  However, most people know what a diaper looks like.  A little discretion is a good thing.

Honestly I have never contemplated the fresh sacks option.  It would keep the urine smell out of my bag and definitely provide discreetness.  It is good advice.

[PoopyDiaperDude]

I will say one thing:  if you are exposing your diaper fetish to others without their consent, it is wrong.

[Dubious]

There is no diaper that is so crinkly that people will hear it under clothes and think "Hes wearing a diaper"

The person wearing the diaper will hear it, cause hes listening for it

[Brudda Voodu]

If you wear a diaper and like to show it to strangers. You can anticipate being lonely, and without much respect in your community.  At the same time, if you want to engage in that behavior...fill your boots?  Its you that has to live with the consequences of your actions.

[rusty pins]

It is well known from some people's posts in these forums that some members get their jollies by having other people see that they are wearing diapers.  Public exposure, exhibition and all.  There are some who say that they don't care who knows they wear diapers and advocate that everyone be openly proud of their diaper fetish and not hide it from anyone.  We are a mixed bag of people here who all have at least one thing in common.  DIAPERS!  That doesn't mean that what we do with our common interest is the same.  Many people here are closet diaper wearers who don't want anyone at all knowing about their diapers.  There are many diaper wearers who want the whole world to know they wear and use them, and in between, a whole lot of different levels and variations of diaper wearing.  

We all have our opinions and while some may not agree with others, that is why we have discussion forums.  That said, if someone posts a thread and 20 people reply, I would tend to think that the 18 of them that all have the same opinion would tend to be the public accepted opinion on the subject as opposed to the 2 others with a different opinion.

These are some of my own opinions on the subject.  First, I do think it is not a good idea to purposely subject people around you to your diaper fetish, and that includes purposely flashing your diaper, openly carrying either a fresh diaper or a used one when using a public restroom to change when needed, wearing very thin skimpy tight shorts and a huge obviously bulging diaper when among people and especially purposely messing your diaper in a crowd of people including on a bus, in a store or library or anyplace where others know what you did or can smell your mess.

Second, there will always be the argument that people with actual incontinence wear diapers in public and wet and mess their diapers.  That is true, however those people with the possible exception of some AB/DL people who are incontinent and enjoy their incontinence and diapers will not go out among people with a super bulky bulging diaper wearing thin skimpy shorts so everyone knows they wear diapers.  That's the big difference.  People with incontinence generally don't want everyone to know they are wearing diapers and will wear clothing that helps hide that fact.  Think of why all the commercials for incontinence underwear show people putting on their pants and then looking in the mirror and smoothing over their rear ends to show that you can't notice what they are wearing underneath?  Even in this forum how many threads talk about people buying larger size pants to help hide the bulk of their diapers?

Along that same train of thought, people who are incontinent and have an accident away from home will tend to change as soon as possible if it is a bowel accident.  They may not like the feeling of a mess in their pants just as a normal person wouldn't like it if they had an accident and they would want to clean up as quickly as they could.  That is a difference between many people with actual incontinence as opposed to AB/DL who don't wear for physical need but wear for personal enjoyment and fun.

People can do as they please as long as it's not illegal or bothering people around them.  Can they or should they?  That might be the question here.  What is the difference between someone who has to bend down in a store and his shirt rides up in back exposing a little diaper showing out the waistband of his jeans and someone who purposely flaunts and shows his diapers to everyone around him?  One can be an accident that happens to lots of people.  I've seen many people who have had to bend down and their underwear shows out the back of their pants or shorts.  You have the well known plumber's butt crack that people see a lot, even though not everyone who bends down and shows their butt crack is a plumber.  These are everyday things that happen to everyday people and weather it's a person's butt crack, BVD's or diaper that shows a little doesn't really matter since it is just something that happens with some people when they bend down.

When someone plans to go out among public to purposely show off their diapers or the fact that they are obviously wearing diapers to get their personal jollies, that might be when people ask if that is appropriate behavior or not.  In one situation it's incidental exposure not planned and for just a quick moment when a person bends down in a store.  The other situation is well thought out, pre-planned and lengthy.  Walking down the halls of your hotel, in the elevator with other people, in WalMart, the grocery store, walking in the park or down the street in clothing you chose only because it very obviously shows to anyone who looks at you the fact that you are wearing diapers that can be noticed, seen, heard or all.  Even though you are not physically going up to strangers and saying, "Look at me!  I'm wearing diapers", those around you are still forced to be involved in your fetish just by the fact that they can't help but see you dressed that way.  Some might ignore you, some might laugh or chuckle (which might be what you are looking for as a reaction), and some may be disgusted or worse, get in your own face.  What about the kids who see you?  Is it right for you to expose children to your fetish even if it's just kids who happen to be walking by with their parents when you are dressed to make it obvious you are wearing diapers?  (By the way, I'm sure that could be an area of contention involving minors as far as the rules here).  The difference?  You chose to go out in public, not dressed conservatively but instead purposely, planned and well thought out ahead of time dressed to show off to everyone that you are wearing diapers. 

I have traded letters with Mark and I am not here to bash him in any way.  I applaud him in making his decision to go 24/7/365 in diapers if that is what he wants in life.  It's not for me, but for those who choose to do so, great.  I know he seems to have struggled with doing things like this in the past and has made an effort to restrain himself as he stated in his original post.  I think for some it's very hard to contain their exhibitionist instincts, same as it's hard for members here to refrain from wearing their diapers.  Even when they try to stop, it keeps coming back.  That may be what has happened here.  When you talk about grey areas, some things to consider.  If you have to ask if it's right or wrong, then it's probably wrong to some extent. 

Some of mark's talking points are as follows:  "I routinely went out of the way to let strangers around me know I was wearing a diaper.   I would most definitely hike my diaper up, loosen my pants, and bend over excessively.  If the top of my diaper became exposed I did not care. I used to also buy the loudest plastic panties known to the world and wear then over my diaper with a pair of loose fitting shorts.  It would literally sound like I was walking down the hall wearing a garbage bag.  Everyone heard without question.   I thought I was through this phase.   I simply went out and about in a ABU Simple with a pair of loose fitting basketball shorts and a long t-shirt.  I could tell the crinkle was undeniable especially walking down the hallway of the quiet hotel.  All I had to do was turn around and go and put a pair of jeans on and my diaper would not have been noticeable.  I did not.  Instead I walked by everyone crinkling away in both the hotel and at the two antique stores I visited.   I know when people hear my diaper crinkling loudly as they will look up at me and stare.  One time I even had a couple who would not ride the elevator with me because they were behind me as I crinkled down the hallway.  The female of the couple looked at me and almost seemed to feel sorry for me as the elevator doors closed.   I know a dozen or so people knew I was wearing a diaper and did not really care.  I honestly not know if it this is because I wanted to be embarrassed and humiliated or if wearing diapers permanently has just made me overly secure and not really give a shit.  I know public changes now for me are so much easier and I will honestly walk right into the stall with a clean diaper in my hand and right out with my used one.  Am I wrong here?  Is it a gray area?  I know I have matured a lot when comes to wearing diapers but I also know there still is and always will be a humiliation element for me wearing diapers permanently.

Yes, I believe, Mark, that you will always have a humiliation element and a need for exposure, embarrassment and exhibition of some type when around people.  The fact that you did try to overcome it as you said is commendable.  Some confirmations that you will probably always have a desire for some exhibition of your diapered state in public are when you say, If the top of my diaper became exposed I did not care.  I routinely went out of the way to let strangers around me know I was wearing a diaper.  All I had to do was turn around and go and put a pair of jeans on and my diaper would not have been noticeable.  I did not.   I know when people hear my diaper crinkling loudly as they will look up at me and stare.   I know a dozen or so people knew I was wearing a diaper and did not really care.  I believe a part of you knows it's something that probably shouldn't be done in public around people for the opinions I have stated above, but I also believe it's something ingrained in you that is hard to control, just like trying to stop wearing diapers.  All I can maybe suggest in response to your questions, "Am I wrong here?  Is it a gray area?" is to try and use good judgement and refrain as best you can when those urges to publicly exhibit your diapered status hit you.  If you have to ask if it's wrong or maybe a bad idea, it probably is.  Remember you never know when kids and not just adults will see you.  There may be several ways to do something, one way more controversial in nature.  You can walk into a restroom to change your diaper with your changing supplies in a satchel, case or pack, or you can walk in with your diaper in your hand for everyone to see.  Which choice might be the better?  One is discreet and one purposely draws attention to you.  Ask yourself which would be more proper when out in public among people, even though you may have that urge for exposure and public embarrassment.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

My orginal post was somewhat unclear as far as exposing my diapers to people.  Before I was active on this site I was that guy that embarrassed the community.  Short of walking around in public in just a diaper there was really no limit to the lengths I would go to to let innocent bystanders know I was wearing diapers.  

This message board through a healthy dose of constructive criticism really tought me that what I was doing was wrong and that I needed to be a better ambassador for our community.  

As @rusty pins has said humiliation is something more to me than just a kink.  It is something that is engrained in my being thanks to a very abusive stepmother.  I am not blaming her for my actions today as I am an adult who is responsible for his own actions.  I have seen the therapist.  I have had the talks.  At the end of the day I will definitely be someone who will always need humiliation regardless of who I go and talk to about it.  The best therapy I have ever recieved for how I am has most definitely been from this group.  Some here fight the same urges as I do and some look at them from a purely unbiased perspective.  

Two things have effected change in my behavior when it comes to proper etiquette with diapers and both tie together.  This community's unbaised opinion and my decision to wear diapers permanently.  Without one it would have been impossible to accomplish the other.

So what do I mean.  When I first came to this site I did not wear diapers all the time.  I most certainly wanted to but could never find the courage or commitment to do so.  What resulted was a very troubled soul.  I sought out the humiliation I desired all the time by doing stupid things.  I also was a horrible husband and father.  Diapers controlled every ounce of me and I was always exhausted, irritable, and overwhelmed.

Sharing these feelings on this site definitely helped me so very much even though I often times did not get the answer I wanted to hear.  I also became convinced thanks to others that I could wear diapers permanently and still live a normal and productive life.

Once diapers became permanent the first thing positive that happened was diapers did not consume my every thought.  I did not need to think about diapers because I was always wearing one.  This allowed me to think about the things that were important to me, things that should be more important than diapers like my wife and children.  Almost instantly I became a better father and husband.

The other very positive thing was my constant need for humiliation for the first time in my life was actually met.  Wearing diapers all the time and learning to unpotty train myself literally has kept me in a constant humilated state.  I went from shirts being to short and diapers being to high to wearing onesies and fitting pants.  Even my diapers have predominantly changed.  Before it had to be a very pink diaper with beautiful princesses on it.  Why? Because it does not get anymore humiliating than a man wearing such things.  Do not get me wrong, I love the feeling being a sissy gives me but without question it is all about the humiliation.  Now, when I am in public I am almost always wear a plain white diaper.  Now I reserve the pink diapers for when I am at home doing my chores while my wife is out cuckolding me.  Do I wear a pink diaper out in public from time to time I most certainly do.  Do I wear sissy Disney Princess diaper covers over my diaper at work sometimes, yep.  The difference now from back then is I never expose this to anyone accept my wife in private.

If you ran across me today in public you would honestly think I am simply incontinent (techically I am to some degree at this point).  Before that absolutely was not the case.  You would have seen me as a sick and perverted freak in pink diapers and pink bloomers.

Why I started this post was really guilt.  I had difficulties articulating my feelings because I had simply gone out in public wearing a diaper in public that I knew was excessively crinkling.  The reason had nothing to do with humiliation, it was simply to let my girly parts breath a little.  However, what I did experience while out and about was people around me were staring and that feeling of humiliation was present.

Now I know people's opinions on this site differ as to if someone can tell from SOUND if you are wearing a diaper.  I personally believe people can through proof.  My wife always can tell when I am not wearing fixing panties because as she says the crinkle is unmistakable.  People look up from what they are doing sometimes when I know I am crinkling.  Maybe it is completely unrelated but I do not feel so.

The second I knew I was crinkling I should have gone back to my hotel room and simply put fixing panties on and I did not.  By people looking up at me as I walked by them it made me feel humiliated and of course it did not bother me.  That was how I exposed people to my diaper.  A crinkle.  No pulling down my pants and no walking into a restroom with a diaper in my hand. 

I guess now I feel good that this situation bothered me.  I means I have grown and matured.  It means I actually care about those around me and trying my hardest not to embarrass this community.

[Bettypooh]

I see part of this falling under "intent". Here we ask the question of "What was this person intending to do?" first, then once we have that answer we can better judge whether the actions were appropriate. I'm known for boldness, and I've many times related having been in public, private, and semi-private places with it being very clear and obvious that I was wearing a diaper (leakage, torn pants, and crinkle). There was/is some embarrassment involved for me but also the boldness, for I really don't give a hoot what most people think about me and what I do. I do not see any valid reason for me to change my approach to life and my wearing of diapers just because some people might be offended by that. But I do see that I do have a social obligation to recognize that everyone has feelings which I should not go out of my way to hurt It is not my intent to offend anyone, but neither does anyone have the right to require me to be as inoffensive as I possibly can be or even as much as I can be reasonably expected to do, or to ask that of others.

Clothlike-backed diapers are sufficient for my needs and are indeed quieter and less likely to cause offense, but I do not like them. I like to be somewhat crinkly; not overly so but enough for me to be regularly reminded aurally that I'm wearing plastic-backed diapers which is what I want to do. The sound is intended for me to hear, and while I know others may hear it I cannot help that. They are entitled to think whatever they want about it, including to be offended by it. For anyone who would tel me to do otherwise I say OK- as long as you let me tell you what to wear too. If you aren't willing to let me control you then don't ask or expect to control me either It works both ways or it doesn't work at all. I definitely have the means to be much more crinkly- would you prefer that?

I do otherwise prefer to be reasonably discreet, both because I don't want what will probably be negative attention, but also because i do not desire to overly offend others. But I'm not going to allow the easily offended to place what is their problem onto me. I make a place for you; it's your decision whether you wish to take that place or not. If you choose not to then that was/is your choice, not mine, and that doesn't matter to me at all I cannot judge others unless they make their intentions clear. I cannot compel others to do what I'd prefer they do. I have only my choices given to me and if I don't like what you're doing I can avoid you even if that has a cost to me in some other way; you can do the same with me.

Should Mark have chosen to go back and change into something which would have been quieter? All I can say is that I would have and that I would recommend that course for others as well. But it's not my choice, and as far as I can tell here he did not intend to offend anyone with his actions even though he must have known that he would likely be offending whatever random people he encountered. It has been often said that you are the real you when you're all alone where nobody else is involved, and this is totally true. So ask yourself what changes in you between those times and the times you are among others. Ask yourself why those things change. If you find you're doing something negative to others when you're among them then you need to work on that because it's wrong

I did not wish my torn pants exposed my diaper; indeed I wish my pants hadn't torn but they did. I did not wish my diaper had leaked before I went into the store but it did; indeed I wish it hadn't leaked at all but it did. I did not wish for others to hear my crinkling but they're going to at least sometimes and I did make some effort to oblige them even if I could do more, so I don't feel bad about that at all. Nor is it wrong even though it will have a negative effect on some people. It's not my place or yours to be totally non-offensive or even totally positive; I do have the right to attempt to cause you to think about your own self and how you deal with things. For all the average person knows I am incontinent and my wearing may or may not be of my choice, so if I crinkle some that should not be offensive to you. If it is, then you have the problem, not me

If I were to intentionally expose my diaper visibly, or to intentionally have leakage exposed when I could have easily changed, or to have an odor of poop surrounding me when I could have easily changed then the would be an entirely different matter. Whether you wish to extend that to crinkling is something of a gray area IMHO, and to that I would say it should be based entirely on intent

Bettypooh

[BabyJune]

The question I have is why anyone would think they have to announce private aspects of their lives and make it public knowledge? Yes, I like wearing diapers but no, I don't feel the need to let people know. What purpose will it serve? For me, it would only complicate things and cause unnecessary humiliation. I don't broadcast every time I have to go to the bathroom or any other bodily functions. I also don't express every thought I have to anyone within earshot. That's why some things are called "private." Why does anyone need to know your personal choice for underwear--whether waterproof or not!

I don't wear diapers away from the house, although I do live between two houses: Mom's and mine, which is just around the corner. I wear a diaper when walking between houses and have worn when walking a couple of blocks to mail letters, but that's about it. It would take all the pleasure out of wearing diapers if my family knew because they most definitely would NOT approve of it. I'd feel extremely uneasy knowing that people around me were aware that I was wearing and using diapers, and I'm sure they'd be uneasy with that fact as well.

[rosalie.bent]

On 3/21/2019 at 11:08 PM, MarkSmith said:

Before making the decision to wear diapers permanently I routinely went out of the way to let strangers around me know I was wearing a diaper.  No, I did not pull my pants down and walk down the beach in nothing but a used diaper or intentionally leave the bathroom door unlocked so an innocent by stander could catch me diapering myself but I would most definitely hike my diaper up, loosen my pants, and bend over excessively.  If the top of my diaper became exposed I did not care.  I remember one day while wearing a backpack I could tell my shirt had ridden up and worked its way inside my diaper waistband.  Where I did not intentionally put my shirt inside my diaper I certainly knew it was there and my diaper was exposed.  I left it and walked through an entire airport terminal in this state.

I used to also buy the loudest plastic panties known to the world and wear then over my diaper with a pair of loose fitting shorts.  It would literally sound like I was walking down the hall wearing a garbage bag.  Everyone heard without question but I am never sure if they know it is an actual diaper.

I thought I was through this phase but yesterday I decided to have a layer free day.  As I have posted on here many times I wear multiple layers over my diaper to both contain leaks and to make even the thickest and noisiest diapers almost completely undetectable.  I simply went out and about in a ABU Simple with a pair of loose fitting basketball shorts and a long t-shirt.  I wanted to "air" out so to speak.  I had no attentions of pushing my fetish on others.  I did not find myself bending over excessively or anything like that but almost immediately I could tell the crinkle was undeniable especially walking down the hallway of the quiet hotel.  All I had to do was turn around and go and put a pair of jeans on and my diaper would not have been noticeable.  I did not.  Instead I walked by everyone crinkling away in both the hotel and at the two antique stores I visited. 

I know many ABDL's that believe that people around them cannot hear the crinkle of a diaper but I can tell you without a doubt that is not accurate.  I know when people hear my diaper crinkling loudly as they will look up at me and stare.  One time I even had a couple who would not ride the elevator with me because they were behind me as I crinkled down the hallway.  The female of the couple looked at me and almost seemed to feel sorry for me as the elevator doors closed.  This is all from simple wearing loose fitting shorts and a very crinkly diaper.

Back to yesterday,  I know a dozen or so people knew I was wearing a diaper and did not really care.  I honestly not know if it this is because I wanted to be embarrassed and humiliated or if wearing diapers permanently has just made me overly secure and not really give a shit.  I know public changes now for me are so much easier and I will honestly walk right into the stall with a clean diaper in my hand and right out with my used one.

Am I wrong here?  Is it a gray area?  I know I have matured a lot when comes to wearing diapers but I also know there still is and always will be a humiliation element for me wearing diapers permanently.

For those that are older back in the day disposable diapers were must louder.  Did people stare when you wore the old Depends or Attends?  Did you care?

The desire for exhibitionism is strong in ABDLs. To be truly honest, you need to contain it and keep it hidden and private. It will probably be okay, but it could turn bad so best to play it safe. Keep it hidden. Also, sharing your ABDL side with other unsuspecting people is wrong even in a light manner like this.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

15 hours ago, rosalie.bent said:

The desire for exhibitionism is strong in ABDLs. To be truly honest, you need to contain it and keep it hidden and private. It will probably be okay, but it could turn bad so best to play it safe. Keep it hidden. Also, sharing your ABDL side with other unsuspecting people is wrong even in a light manner like this.

Do you feel that someone who is medically incontinent should act the same way?  What if they bend over and their diaper is accidentally exposed?  What if they want to air out their diaper area a little causing some extra crinkle to their step?  Are they wrong as well?

[rusty pins]

Some of my points above:

There will always be the argument that people with actual incontinence wear diapers in public and wet and mess their diapers, so what's wrong with AB/DL's doing the same thing.  It's true that people who are medically incontinent do wear diapers out in public for their need.  The difference is people who are medically incontinent, with the possible exception of some AB/DL people who enjoy their incontinence and diapers, will not go out among people with an obvious super bulky bulging loud crinkly diaper wearing thin skimpy shorts so everyone knows they wear diapers.  That's the big difference.  People with incontinence generally don't want everyone to know they are wearing diapers and will wear clothing that helps hide that fact.  That is the difference between people with actual incontinence as opposed to some AB/DL's who don't wear for physical need but wear for personal enjoyment and fun.

 What is the difference between someone who has to bend down in a store and his shirt rides up in back exposing a little diaper showing out the waistband of his jeans and someone who purposely flaunts and shows his diapers to everyone around him?  One can be an accident that happens to lots of people.  I've seen many regular people who have had to bend down and their underwear shows out the back of their pants or shorts.  You also have the well known plumber's butt crack that people see a lot.  These are everyday things that happen to everyday people and weather it's a person's butt crack, BVD's or diaper that shows a little doesn't really matter since it's not planned to show off, is just something accidental that happens when some people bend down.

When someone plans to go out among public to purposely show off their diapers or the fact that they are obviously wearing diapers to get their personal jollies, that's when people ask if that is appropriate behavior or not.  In one situation it's incidental exposure not planned and for just a quick moment when a person bends down in a store.  The other situation is well thought out, pre-planned and lengthy with one reason in mind - to purposley flaunt that you are wearing diapers to the people around you.  Walking down the halls of your hotel, in the elevator with other people, in WalMart, the grocery store, walking in the park or down the street in clothing you chose only because it very obviously shows to anyone who looks at you the fact that you are wearing diapers that can be noticed, seen, heard or all.  Those around you are forced to be involved in your fetish just by the fact that they can't help but see you dressed that way including kids who happen to be walking by with their parents.  

That's the difference between someone who is medically incontinent and  bends over and their diaper is accidentally exposed, accidentally being the key word and someone who chooses to go out in public planned and well thought out ahead of time with the one goal in mind to purposely dress to show off to everyone that they are wearing diapers.  To answer the question about medically incontinent people, "Are they wrong as well?", it's not wrong for the medically incontinent because it is accidental exposure if some diaper might show occasionally in some situations, not planned or wished for by the incontinent person.  What people are saying is wrong is for someone to plan and purposely wear obvious diapers out among the general public, including any children who may be around just to show off that they are wearing diapers for their own personal thrill.  That is what people here are trying to say with their opinions.   

 

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

1 hour ago, rusty pins said:

Some of my points above:

There will always be the argument that people with actual incontinence wear diapers in public and wet and mess their diapers, so what's wrong with AB/DL's doing the same thing.  It's true that people who are medically incontinent do wear diapers out in public for their need.  The difference is people who are medically incontinent, with the possible exception of some AB/DL people who enjoy their incontinence and diapers, will not go out among people with an obvious super bulky bulging loud crinkly diaper wearing thin skimpy shorts so everyone knows they wear diapers.  That's the big difference.  People with incontinence generally don't want everyone to know they are wearing diapers and will wear clothing that helps hide that fact.  That is the difference between people with actual incontinence as opposed to some AB/DL's who don't wear for physical need but wear for personal enjoyment and fun.

 What is the difference between someone who has to bend down in a store and his shirt rides up in back exposing a little diaper showing out the waistband of his jeans and someone who purposely flaunts and shows his diapers to everyone around him?  One can be an accident that happens to lots of people.  I've seen many regular people who have had to bend down and their underwear shows out the back of their pants or shorts.  You also have the well known plumber's butt crack that people see a lot.  These are everyday things that happen to everyday people and weather it's a person's butt crack, BVD's or diaper that shows a little doesn't really matter since it's not planned to show off, is just something accidental that happens when some people bend down.

When someone plans to go out among public to purposely show off their diapers or the fact that they are obviously wearing diapers to get their personal jollies, that's when people ask if that is appropriate behavior or not.  In one situation it's incidental exposure not planned and for just a quick moment when a person bends down in a store.  The other situation is well thought out, pre-planned and lengthy with one reason in mind - to purposley flaunt that you are wearing diapers to the people around you.  Walking down the halls of your hotel, in the elevator with other people, in WalMart, the grocery store, walking in the park or down the street in clothing you chose only because it very obviously shows to anyone who looks at you the fact that you are wearing diapers that can be noticed, seen, heard or all.  Those around you are forced to be involved in your fetish just by the fact that they can't help but see you dressed that way including kids who happen to be walking by with their parents.  

That's the difference between someone who is medically incontinent and  bends over and their diaper is accidentally exposed, accidentally being the key word and someone who chooses to go out in public planned and well thought out ahead of time with the one goal in mind to purposely dress to show off to everyone that they are wearing diapers.  To answer the question about medically incontinent people, "Are they wrong as well?", it's not wrong for the medically incontinent because it is accidental exposure if some diaper might show occasionally in some situations, not planned or wished for by the incontinent person.  What people are saying is wrong is for someone to plan and purposely wear obvious diapers out among the general public, including any children who may be around just to show off that they are wearing diapers for their own personal thrill.  That is what people here are trying to say with their opinions.   

 

I do not disagree with those opinions at all.  I have changed my behavior in large part thanks to those opinions.  Once again it is all about intent.  I went out wearing a pair of basketball shorts with an XXL shirt that extended well below my diaper area wearing the exact same diaper I wear every second, of every minute, of everyday.  I simply left off layer one, two, and three that I wear 95% of the time to keep the fact I wear diapers hidden.  The intent for this was not to humiliate myself or for a personal thrill.  It was more for personal relief to let my girly parts breath after wearing layers one, two, and three in an industrial maintenance environment all week.  In the end however I felt it did humilate me because I felt my diaper was excessively crinkly. 

I shared this post with my wife and asked her about the crinkliness of my diaper as she is around me the most when I am not layered up.  Her advice to me was it is more important for you to let your diaper area breath from time to time to help prevent diaper rash.  She did confirm that although she can identify my diaper crinkle easily she does believe that is because she knows I am wearing a diaper.  She said it can be heard but she did not necessarily think she would recognize the sound was from a diaper if she did not know I was actually wearing one.

I know with my history shared here that one would believe it was a personal thrill situation.  I have been very honest in the past when it has been.  The reason why I posted this in the first place was because it felt as such at the end of the day but that was not my intentions at all.  

I will say the longer I am in diapers permanently the less wearing them matters.  I have thought long and hard of why I stopped carrying my bag into restrooms a lot and started walking in and out of stalls with a diaper in my hand.  Once again, it had nothing to do with exhibitionism.  If anything having a diaper bag caused severe embarrassment when I accidentally left a pink diaper in it while walking through airport security.  That embarrassment did not appeal to my humiliation needs and I felt generally bad and upset about it.  The real reason I started to do it was because my bag reeked of piss all the time and finally said fuck carrying the bag.  I do agree that it would be more appropriate to carry a new diaper in with me in a bag.  

@rusty pins you asked about what if kids saw my diaper.  Do you honestly think they are paying attention to what is under someone's arm?  You definitely could not see it from the front.  In fact, I have never got one strange look from anyone going into the restroom like this as I really do not know if anyone has ever noticed.

As far as a used diaper it is so simple.  It can be hid very quickly behind your back where no one will see it until you can make it to the restroom trash can.  I know because I do it all the time.

I guess for me personally I feel this is not the type of diaper exhibitionism I have craved in the past.  This is just simply getting used to wearing diapers all the time.  I do understand how others can feel differently about that.  My initial post was so confusing because I personally was so confused, mainly because I ended up being humiliated when I had no intentions or desires to seek that.

I will say a day out of layer one, two, and three sure was a relief on my skin.